Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: lighter on July 10, 2019, 06:22:48 PM
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I take curcumin every day, coupled with astaxanthin for anti-inflammatory properties. The astaxanthin was suggested by my dentist to help with swelling of nerve after a filling.
I brush my teeth with baking soda, and don't rinse at bedtime so my enamel has a better chance of making it through the night. I also floss, and use MI paste to harden up enamel while I sleep. I used to keep my toothbrush in mouthwas, but now I have an electric one. I feel better when I keep it in mouthwash.
MSM powder gives me energy in the morning. I'm not sure what else it does, but I feel like it helps with inflammation as well.
Unflavored biPro protein powder is great, bc it's thin, tasteless, and I can down it in a few gulps. Some powders have to be chewed, gack. It's also sugar free, which is great.
Biotin helps hair and nails look healthy, and happy.
I use vitamin D drops...... it's fat soluble so I'm told I can't expect Vit D levels to be normal overnight. Looking at a few months or more, and that's with me getting a good amount of sunshine daily.
Methocarbamol chewables Bluebonnet brand) Vitamin B12 tablets - brain needs this to function properly
If I don't remember anything else, I make sure I get these things in. I usually take a daily vitamin, but I've been off them lately.
Brain Doc said to take a Tbs of MCT oil in the evenings when food cravings creep in. This is new, and haven't tried yet. Looking forward to relief, bc I get very hungry at night.
Doc also said that rosemary essential oil increases the ability to focus, sometimes by as much as 30%. DD17 uses it, a bit under her nose, when she needs to concentrate to focus. Lavender oil, used the same way is calming, and can be used on burns as well.
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So sorry you fell, CB. That's tough, esp with the ear, antibiotics, and making sure you get that probiotic in. You eat a serving of kefir or yogurt after every antibiotic? Not sure how that goes these days... how long to wait. Just make sure you take it easy, so you don't compensate and create more issues for yourself. I have a hard time letting things heal. I tend to just go go go, and it's always a bad idea.
I wanted to thank Amber for getting me onto Curcumin. Not sure when she suggested it, but I took it to heart, and feel it helps a lot.
About the low vitamin D.... brain doc says that's to do with ongoing stress. Lord knows I spend a lot of time out of doors in the yard, but it's pretty shady.
When you mentioned taking Magnesium, I thought.... when am I taking Magnesium these days? Then remembered I don't. I take lots of baths, and load them up with Epson Salts.
I don't really love the smell of tea tree oil, lice days, and so it's not part of my life. Last week Moss'n Annie, the Moss lady in these parts, told me she's heard it's good to spray Tea Tree Oil in areas of moss yards where there's trouble with yellowing of otherwise healthy moss. I have an area I need to take up, then spray the earth and unhealth moss with the tea tree oil, then put down healthy moss. I'll isolate the yellow moss, and see if it recovers. I've just been telling people it's bear pee, but I think it's spreading.
Lighter
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(((((((((CB))))))))))
I'm so sorry you got hurt. The lovely thing about not using medications often is that when you do need the big guns, your body responds better. I hope it heals up fast and you soon feel totally recovered.
Hijack: At the mo' (because of the small stroke) I'm on very potent blood thinners. I cut off wine completely because it's a natural blood thinner and it added too much. I was hauling suitcases through airports and every time I heaved one up to a belt I banged my arm and began bruising with every little impact like an eggplant. One of the side effects from clopidigrel, which hopefully I'm done with soon.
Lighter, don't think those qualify as "hacks" save to read up on anything prescribed and take side effects warnings seriously. And always let docs know the supplements you take.
Me, I have a bucket full of bottles of supplements I'd get excited about and one day realized I was sick of taking them. Cut out all except calcium + D, B12 (I was low), occasional echinacea and zinc lozenges for colds. I take magnesium (as CALM) when I feel extra stressed, and that's it. I prefer whole foods too -- add chia seeds and flax meal to my oats!
But I just want to eat a wide variety of veggies, whole foods, whole grains, legumes and fish for protein, berries and mangos in my oats. And that's about it. I think I feel better on a whole food diet, and for me, supplements proved overload. They're also expensive and unregulated so although I know some work, some are from China and tainted, and the evidence for most is pretty contradictory.
I agree about tumeric, though and wish I'd remember! Bought a bunch of bottles from The Spice Hunter after I read an article about how tainted so much imported tumeric is (and it's all imported)...that was the cleanest brand they tested.
Interesting topic! I prolly won't have much to offer but will enjoy reading.
Hugs
Hops
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I've been told using peppermint oil, on the bottom of our feet, will reduce a fever: )
I used it on youngest dd once, and it seemed to work.
I also take Evening Primrose Oil daily, orally, to help keep my ears clear. That's been an amazing help.
Lighter
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Echinacea let me down this time, as did zinc. My fault for necking with M when he was getting sick but I didn't know. And Lord, I'd love an herb that safely diminishes tinnitus without side effects (gingko's out for me, unfortunately).
I have my concerns about interactions and safety profiles...when I researched herbs for various health problems for book chapters at Rodale the only trusted reference we were allowed to source to write advice for consumers was this one:
https://www.amazon.com/Complete-German-Commission-Monographs-Therapeutic/dp/096555550X/ref=asc_df_096555550X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=333728472387&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8471188011546842453&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9008335&hvtargid=pla-525785847349&psc=1 (https://www.amazon.com/Complete-German-Commission-Monographs-Therapeutic/dp/096555550X/ref=asc_df_096555550X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=333728472387&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8471188011546842453&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9008335&hvtargid=pla-525785847349&psc=1)
Germany is light-years ahead of any other Western country in its comprehensive and government-backed knowledge of herbal medicines. Wish I had a copy!
You can get a used copy on Amazon for $33. so don't let the $104 scare you off!
hugs, hope it's helpful,
Hops
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CB:
The Primrose oil means I don't have to get my ears cleaned out every year. For a while there, I was really struggling. An MD, with a holistic leaning, put me on Primrose Oil, and the ear trouble stopped. When I stopped taking the oil, a few years later, I found myself with a spraybottle, tube attached, getting almost cold water forced into my ears for a half an hour... stung SO BAD! Really hate that, and always always will go to an ENT doc, bc they have the cool mini vac system to make the job quick, easy, and painless. I've also had big syringes forcing water into my ears.... had to go into the parking lot after an hour, and take a break once. The doctor had to call, me and talk me BACK into the office to finish. Everyone was wet, miserable, and ready to be done.
I don't know that Primrose oil will help with ear infections. Usually ear trouble like that begins with a sinus trouble for me.
That doctor also suggested I buy good flaxseeds, and grind them fresh daily.... at least 2 TBS, and eat them every day. I should do that.
About the probiotics. I used to give oldest dd yogurt about an hour after antibiotics, but this was years ago. The youngest wouldn't take meds, so she always got a shot in the doc's office. I'm sure I didn't remember to give her yogurt, but my oldest was the one with the more serious health issues, and let me tell you....
oldest dd has a great immune system now, where youngest dd gets every cold, flu and virus that's going around.
I think a good probiotic, one with zero sugar, at bedtime is a good idea, maybe a couple times a week. I buy one, in capsule form, Vital-Plex by Klaire Labs from the refrigerated section at my doc's supplement shop.... blue and white packaging. 5+ billion CFUs multi-species probiotic supplement.
When I have a cold, I use zinc, in some form, and also use xylitol X CLEAR nasal spray to prevent a secondary infection. Green and white packagiong. I give one to everyone who's suffering with a cold in the house, and put their initials on the bottle in sharpie. That way they can use it when they come back.
I hope you feel better soon! You too Hops! And Buck!
::nodding::.
DD17 just bounced down the stairs on her left hip, and buttock. Sounded like a crashing fall, then dishes crashing, then more terrible bouncing. I could hear her making noises, and thought she'd broken something.... but she was laughing. And in shock.
She said her socks slipped. Her feet went out in front of her, and once she figured out she couldn't stop, she ditched her ice cream bowl to ensure no tumbling, and finished the fall.
So, I'm hoping DD's hip, and bottom feel better soon too. So scary! I don't know why it's so funny, but we laugh together a lot hence....laughing next about the time I watched her jump off a 4' wall, then "tried" to follow. My left hand slipped, the world was suddenly unsafe, and I found myself on the ground with the back of my skirt flipped over my head wishing I'd worn underwear.
DD said my bare legs shot straight up in the air, then jackknifed down in a superfast blurr, and then I was magically crouched like a cat on all fours, in her view. I'm just glad she remembers I was wearing underwear.
::shaking head::
I knew jumping off that wall was a bad idea.
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Wow, lots of info on here, I will read and re-read for ideas and things to look out for! Esp baking soda for teeth cleaning, Lighter, never heard of that and am currently trying to reduce my single use plastic/non-friendly to the environment stuff so alternatives to things like toothpaste are all things I want to find out more about :)
Oddly enough, I was wondering yesterday why I do all the stuff I do, because I still feel tired and run down most of the time. Then I thought about my workload and how much crap I've had to deal with over the years and wonder if the only reason I'm still standing is because of all the stuff I use. Hard to know if you don't get an quick and obvious result from something. But either way, I still see no reason not to do it so my current 'stuff' is as follows:
Mulit vit, a premenstrual complex vitamin and fish oil capsules daily, plus Kalms (herbal anxiety relief) as needed.
CBD oil daily and CBD vape as needed.
Bach flower remedies for various over thinking/emotion running all over me things (as and when needed).
Try to do daily (but don't often manage all of it) - meditation (guided is my preference), yoga sequence (particularly for neck, shoulders and hips), beach time (waves! just the sight and sound of them lowers my stress) and/or walk if beach isn't possible. Naps, plenty of water (never drink enough but I do try), healthy diet (fruit, veg, not too much processed or sugary crap - fail on that quite a bit as well).
Acupuncture (roughly every six to eight weeks at moment), osteopath (try to go once a month but don't always manage it), trying very hard to stay away from draining people! I do think a lot of my health problems are caused by other people's actions so I count avoiding them as a health hack :) Lol
Music - I have music on throughout the day, sometimes binural beats type stuff (that's supposed to help with different emotional states), sometimes my old psy trance favourites (still miss that time in my life and I find listening to the music relaxing or uplifting depending on what it is), sometimes just vocalists that I really enjoy - I love listening to really strong women, I find it lifts me up and gives me some hope and focus for the future.
Talking to the cat :) Her attitude is how I want to be - everything is on her terms, she demands affection when she wants it and has no qualms about refusing any kind of contact if she doesn't :) No people pleasing there!
Sunshine whenever possible but this is England so never any guarantees! I find watching the birds relaxing and this is a really cute thing that I will include as a health hack because it makes me smile so much - two of the little girls on our road practise little dance routines at school during the day and then come round to mine in the afternoon and do a little performance on the grass outside my house. It's so cute, they always cheer me up :)
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Yes, Tupp! Absolutely, bird watching brings joy for me too! Especially the little hummingbirds. One came by yesterday, so thirsty.
And, I too wonder about where our health would be if we'd done traditional Western medicine and nutrition only. Esp my oldest dd.
Youngest dd has cbd oil, but not quite ready to try it out. How does it help you?
Lighter
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Yes, Tupp! Absolutely, bird watching brings joy for me too! Especially the little hummingbirds. One came by yesterday, so thirsty.
And, I too wonder about where our health would be if we'd done traditional Western medicine and nutrition only. Esp my oldest dd.
Youngest dd has cbd oil, but not quite ready to try it out. How does it help you?
Lighter
Lighter, what I've found the CBD oil is helping me do is separate out all the different strands and tackle the roots of my many different problems, which for me is the key. When I started taking it (last November or thereabouts) I had a lot of different things going on, some physical, some emotional, some mental health - and I couldn't figure out what was current stress, what was old stuff, what was current exhaustion, what was hormonal, what was my unhealthy coping habits and so on. Taking the oil helped to reduce a lot of the generalised day to day stuff so I was able to start seeing patterns then and then start working on the individual things. There is definitely a big hormonal shift around Day 14 of my cycle and I was able to see that clearly once I'd been on the drops for a couple of months. There's a lot of anger during that phase, which is what I've been seeing the acupuncturist about. The anger is now reducing and in its place is fear. grief and sadness. I don't think the CBD is doing anything for those feelings in itself, but because it reduces the general anxiety and over-work that my system has to cope with, I can identify the different aspects and deal with those in turn.
I use the vape during the day; that just calms me down during stressful periods which for me is always anything paperwork or authority related and/or busy places, some people and so on. Again, it doesn't make everything better, but it does mean I can function and get through another paperwork related meltdown.
Has DD been given advice on how to take? I was advised to take three drops initially for three days and keep a note of my symptoms. If no improvement, increase by another three drops a day. If improvement is instant, it might mean even three drops is too many and the dose might need to be reduced. The strength is important as well; again, I was advised to start on a low strength and work up if need be. I think I ended up taking too much; because it made me feel better I started hoofing it down so that I'd feel amazing :) And of course, it doesn't work like that, it made me feel groggy and sluggish. I dropped right back down a few months ago and now take three drops first thing in the morning throughout the month, with an additional one or two doses a day during my mad phase of my cycle, plus the vape. It's not been a miracle cure (it's being touted as that for everything here at the moment and as always, a lot of what's on sale is synthetic shit that's poor quality and people are being promised miracles). But I've bought good quality oil from our local hemp guy who is a walking miracle - had an untreatable brain tumour and was given a year to live. He treated himself with cannabis and is now seven years into recovery - no tumour present and went from terminally ill, in a wheelchair having multiple seizures a day to running his own business, absolutely fit and healthy, no seizure activity and no meds. He's very knowledgeable and very sweet and has spent a lot of time talking to me about different things and helping me out with what to buy (he's the sort of person that will suggest a cheaper version of a product if he knows it does the same thing as an expensive product but for less money).
Anyway, that's the CBD sermon over! Lol. I found keeping a record of what was going on and how I was feeling about things really helped so perhaps if DD does that if she does start taking it she might find it useful xx
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Hair Infusium spray makes my nails harder because the keratin. I've never bought a specific nail hardening product. Sometimes my nails crack or break in the same place. The infusium seems to do double duty hair + nails which is nice, less clutter. I don't have any nutrition hacks I just like to eat fresh fruit so I do :) I think taking fish oil actually makes my face more red for some reason, it should be good for me however I'm not sure it is. Generally it's better just to eat real fish. Farmed fish is even being fed corn pellets so researches say the fish meat has diminished nutritionally ...it's interesting.
There aren't any supplements I take now I used to takes boswellia for asthma and it really does help BUT I don't think it's 100% safe it effects blood pressure or something. Has side effects.
A beauty thread would be nice too, haven't worn makeup really since 20's it's so freaking overwhelming. There are too many brands and products out there. I have no beauty routine. I take showers and put sunblock on that is it.
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Boat:
I think the BB creams are better than regular foundation these days. I only use bronzer, sans sparkle, for blush.
Definitely invest in a decent eyelash curler, if you're going to do that... I think Shiseido had the best when I did that homework.
Thanks for the cbd oil tutorial, TUPP!
Lighter
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Hops: I agree with you on the German Monographs; they're the bible actually for basic info. There is another source I'm now using who cites all the scientific knowledge associated with the usage of whole herbs vs extracted supplements.... so, teas and tinctures, infusions and decoctions. Author is Stephen Harrod Buhner. One book is natural antibiotics and the other anti-virals. It's important not to mix the two up.
I'm researching options for Buck's resistant infection, and will dry him some mugwort and make a tincture. Steve is making tinctures of healthy mushrooms, so a handy resource for practical how tos. To catalyze the mugwort for even more dynamic clearing of the infection, author recommends Echineacea ANNUA, not Purpura - based on the long-term German results - for systemic infections. The purpura is fine for colds and such.
Yes, Sambucol works pretty well for me too. It's pretty easy to make if you have the berries growing around you. I'm glad the curcumin is helping Lighter. I take it in rotations - weeks, even months off - in an experiment to see if I can train my body chemistry to an inherent balance, instead of making it dependent on external support. It's about time to take it again. But I've been off for a solid month now... and the hands are still clearish.
Other than that, I've found a good daily vitamin I take and occasionally add more potassium or magnesium, and that's it. Also, consciously eating fewer carbs and more proteins and good fats for the keto effect. I find I absolutely need a higher amount of carbs than many people or I have no energy at all. So I try to keep that in balance.
From the time I was the most stressed, caring for Mike till 4 years later... I've dropped 30 pounds and a whole pants size. A lot of that is just me being more active than 4-5 years ago; but I'm also sure a lot of it was the effect of cortisol generated by stress. My stamina and strength are still needing some development, but I'm taking that in baby steps and making some solid progress.
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After years of not wearing beauty products I picked up some Neutrogena mascara, Beyu eyeliner and eye-shadow. Makeup up isn't important I know that is why I don't bother with it. It's just there is messaging that says looking good and self care is good for us. Anypooh it made my eyes and eyelids burn when I went to wash it off, I guess my skin is just too freaking sensitive. Plus putting makeup on sort of forces me to notice what is wrong with my face. Not wearing makeup allows me to sort of ignore my imperfections. I don't know. I guess I am returning it as the store has a return policy of return it for any reason if it doesn't work out. I gave up on makeup products a long time ago. All of the ingredients are unregulated I guess, claims are untested.
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G--
I'll bet my right arm that if you turn that glorious artist sensibility of yours inward, you'll see that you are BEAUTIFUL and your imperfections are UNIQUE and part of that beauty.
I don't buy conventional beauty standards. They just piss me off.
Hugs
Hops
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Hey, Tupp. Aside from baking soda for teeth, turning an acid to a base, I also use MI Paste to harden enamel while I sleep. I brush, floss, then brush a bit again..... then apply the white MI Paste, just a little bit in areas I know need attention, and it helps. I think you can order it on Amazon. I'm not perfectly consistent with this, mind you.
::shaking head::.
Also, Clinpro 5000 anti-cavity toothpaste is something I've used in the past. I'm back on the MI Paste, bc I'm out of the Clinpro.
Lighter
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G, I feel your quandary over makeup. It always feels like face-painting a mask on to hide behind for me. And I feel like it makes me look worse - like I'm trying too hard - and I almost always wash it right back off. A little lipstick, some bare minerals blusher and if it's REALLY formal, perhaps mascara. Almay is another hypo-allergenic brand; I like the clear.
But my new fella has me rethinking my gramma wardrobe, hairstyle and everything else. I'm LMAO at myself about how self-conscious I am over my body through this whole thing. As if he isn't a couple years older and his body has been through way more than mine could tolerate. He's suggested I need my eyes checked, because to me he's drop-dead handsome.
But I guess it's a good sign, that the attraction between us isn't solely that superficial stuff.
Like Hops said, I think we need to just refine our personal style - what works for us - especially as we age. It's difficult, because the fashion industry panders to a certain age group and that "come hither" signal regardless of body type, lifestyle, and occupation. And honestly, comfort is way more necessary in clothing as we age, fashion be damned. Interestingly enough, skinny jeans are still a staple of my wardrobe and are still working out pretty well.
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Amber, I like boot cut jeans, nice and fitted at the knee. I have a sewing machine, and jeans I adore to serve as pattern in case I try tapering in at knee on the pile of jeans I don't love. The fitted knee makes a big difference.
I never looked good in opaque lipstick. I prefer a sheer color. Chapstick, with a swipe of lipstick, is nice.
Lighter
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I misled y'all with that grumpy comment.
I was just pissed that G. couldn't see her own wonderful unique individual beauty, because the **#%$^%&^&** marketing culture does that to us. Women are supposed to loathe themselves and not be their own best friends. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....
Those standards do piss me off but I still cave to them. More often since I gotta boyfriend (who seems to crave me with or without, so can't blame him).
Skin health, in this order:
--Wash face with Dr. Bronner's Almond, diluted 3-1. It's also my body wash, shave foam, hand soap and in a pinch, shampoo. In old Method pump foaming dispensers discarded by my office years ago; keep one at tub, sink, kitchen sink. Order a gallon jug from Amazon about every six months.
--Few drops organic aloe vera gel (ordered off Amazon, lasts forever) on face, plus a few on arms/backs of hands
--When skin is dry, also warm a little bit of coconut oil between palms and work all over face (more at night)
--EVERY day, every season: SPF 50 physical (sheer zinc) sunscreen--face and backs of hands and arms if they'll be exposed. CVS makes a great facial one for face in little white pots with orange lids. I buy up since they often run out. I use the CVS blue-tube sunscreen for arms, legs, chest in warm seasons. Finally learned to use some on tops of thighs even when wearing pants--enough driving time means UV gets through anyway. Or so my age spots tell me.
Skin appearance (cosmetic):
--small dot of foundation over nose-to-mouth area (redness)
--cheeks sometimes, dot of stick blush (it's also a lip tint, don't own other lip color)
--little bit of eyebrow powder in patchy spots
Hugs
Hops the Vain
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Thanks Hops & Skep. (smile emoji here) Funny about your grandma wardrobe Skep, I think if you are wearing skinny jeans how Grandma could it be heheheh. I don't own skinny jeans if anything squeezes my butt cheeks together I'm just going to be in a bad mood. Just a short reply cause I'm in need of more coffee at the moment and I don't wanna hijack the thread too much. There is something about appearances though, if one isn't quite living up to it then it can be a source of shame I guess.
In all of it there is the question of effort and attention what aspects of our life need more time and effort health beauty?
I mean there is something about how each stage of a female life one has to figure out how do I be 20, how do I be 30, how do I be 40, how do I be 50. (the stages of my mother's life seem to be defined by what men she is with) I'm just questioning myself again do I act like my age. It's not so much that I "don't feel beautiful" because I've come to a pragmatic opinion about that. It's more just questioning NOW what am I supposed to be doing. And the older we get it's like do we just go WITH the flow or is that "giving up". You know the "letting oneself go". Also employers... do they expect older women to try harder to appear youthful or put together or whatever. I feel like all of a sudden I am supposed to look classier and wealthier than I am because seems to me that is what defines older women, they have arrived. Mature, made it. I might have an older body but maybe emotional parts of me are lagging behind and I don't want to act like a 16 year old in a 40 year old body or something.
There is something more cheerful about women who make some effort. When I think about my coworkers who do make an effort and those that do not. It doesn't always effect their career though as much as one might think. I saw women get canned who put more effort into their looks than some who don't. Sometimes it doesn't matter. Can I just rant that the beauty industry has added eye lid primer, eye lash primer, face primer, lip primer and setting sprays as extra layers. I don't remember these existing before.
I think Hops mentioned Queer eye which I had never watched so I went and binged on them, they are great fun to watch. So I thought well maybe I should try makeup again, maybe I'm wrong about it....I tried makeup it burns my skin, end of story I guess. No big deal. Another season is released on Netflix now so I have to watch it, I'm addicted.
Honestly I feel like an old granny and I'm in my 40's. Am I still supposed to feel feminine, pretty, sexy etc. etc. I sort of want to be old and comfortable.
This has nothing to do with the thread. Sorry Lighter.
Lighter your post about jeans reminds me of this vid, probably it's out of style as style comes and goes like every three months. I've always thought this would be fun to try something like this diy patched jeans:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwOveedkVko
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I loooooooooooooove Queer Eye!
And it's for the emotional stuff, not the style.
(My style is classic casual and dressing up when a gun's at my head....but I do love color. Annie Hall, in a pinch.)
That show delights me on SO many levels:
--the guys greet people who might not like gay people with love and respect
--they keep it up
--they really believe in the power of self-respect, and pour it on
--they find joy in the small things and moments
--they pay close attention and notice the people they help
It's just wonderful. Genius. Morgan Spurlock's 2008 series "30 Days" blew me away even more, for similar reasons. Premise: He pairs unlikely or opposite kinds of people who don't understand each other, and they go live and work with each other for 30 Days. In Every Single Case, the contact transforms them. They see each other's humanity. I used to cry with joy watching those.
Hugs
Hops
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G, I don't think this is off topic at all. There IS a connection about feeling healthy in our bodies and radiating our inner beauty outwardly, without conforming to "standards". We talk often about feeling comfortable in our own skins, right?
So, acceptance of our age, stage in life, looks, how we physically feel... and understanding the basics of how to creatively design our appearance to the rest of the world, to reflect who we are inside are all relevant. Self respect - not just a mental version of that but the confidence in ourselves emotionally and physically, is almost visible to other people if you observe closely. Not matter what you're wearing.
Lighter - wide leg jeans are making a comeback too!
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PS, G--
I've got pretty sensitive skin and can't afford fancy organic foundation etc.
I've found that the few drops of organic pure aloe vera gel (topped with same of coconut oil when it's dry) do a really good job of protecting my skin from any reaction to other stuff. Per dose, both are really cheap.
Hops
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Thanks Hops & Skep. (smile emoji here) Funny about your grandma wardrobe Skep, I think if you are wearing skinny jeans how Grandma could it be heheheh. I don't own skinny jeans if anything squeezes my butt cheeks together I'm just going to be in a bad mood. Just a short reply cause I'm in need of more coffee at the moment and I don't wanna hijack the thread too much. There is something about appearances though, if one isn't quite living up to it then it can be a source of shame I guess.
In all of it there is the question of effort and attention what aspects of our life need more time and effort health beauty?
I mean there is something about how each stage of a female life one has to figure out how do I be 20, how do I be 30, how do I be 40, how do I be 50. (the stages of my mother's life seem to be defined by what men she is with) I'm just questioning myself again do I act like my age. It's not so much that I "don't feel beautiful" because I've come to a pragmatic opinion about that. It's more just questioning NOW what am I supposed to be doing. And the older we get it's like do we just go WITH the flow or is that "giving up". You know the "letting oneself go". Also employers... do they expect older women to try harder to appear youthful or put together or whatever. I feel like all of a sudden I am supposed to look classier and wealthier than I am because seems to me that is what defines older women, they have arrived. Mature, made it. I might have an older body but maybe emotional parts of me are lagging behind and I don't want to act like a 16 year old in a 40 year old body or something.
There is something more cheerful about women who make some effort. When I think about my coworkers who do make an effort and those that do not. It doesn't always effect their career though as much as one might think. I saw women get canned who put more effort into their looks than some who don't. Sometimes it doesn't matter. Can I just rant that the beauty industry has added eye lid primer, eye lash primer, face primer, lip primer and setting sprays as extra layers. I don't remember these existing before.
I think Hops mentioned Queer eye which I had never watched so I went and binged on them, they are great fun to watch. So I thought well maybe I should try makeup again, maybe I'm wrong about it....I tried makeup it burns my skin, end of story I guess. No big deal. Another season is released on Netflix now so I have to watch it, I'm addicted.
Honestly I feel like an old granny and I'm in my 40's. Am I still supposed to feel feminine, pretty, sexy etc. etc. I sort of want to be old and comfortable.
This has nothing to do with the thread. Sorry Lighter.
Lighter your post about jeans reminds me of this vid, probably it's out of style as style comes and goes like every three months. I've always thought this would be fun to try something like this diy patched jeans:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwOveedkVko
G, that's so interesting because I think woman have defined themselves through their men for such a long time (you mention your mum being defined by a man; my mum's the same) and also have defined themselves through their looks/figure/ how well they keep house and so on. It does become a bit of a "well how do we define ourselves now?" Given that a lot of us interrupt our careers to have children or to care for other relatives, or have to take jobs because they're available rather than because it's doing what we love. Where does our definition come from instead? It's an interesting question :)
On the topic of daily routine and beauty products I am heading towards a less is more approach for everything; I try to use products that don't contain chemicals if possible and I'm trying to get away from plastic packaging as well so at the moment it's a shampoo bar and soap bar and that's it. I've got moisturising cream that I'm usually too lazy to put on :)
Make up always makes me look like a cross dresser; I've never been able to put it on and it doesn't seem to suit my face, plus I'm colour blind so that combination is always a bad look! Lol, plus I can't be bothered to wash it off again at night (although I read that Dolly Parton deliberately leaves hers on in case there's a fire and she has to run outside :) ). Clean is about as much as I aim for; my bane in life is facial hair which I've yet to find an echo friendly yet effective way of getting rid of. If I didn't pluck I would look like Captain Caveman :) xx
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Sally Hansen wax strips make plucking less of a chore, G. It comes with a small bottle of oil to dissolve the wax after, that seems to last forever. Then I follow up with an astringent - witch hazel - usually. I care less how it looks and more how it feels. I don't want to be the bearded lady!
My face is very far from "perfect". I have one eye that's very hooded and even kinda droopy. That means the eyebrows aren't level either. My ears don't line up, so the arms on glasses need a LOT of adjustment. LOL. I'm off kilter about half a bubble. But ya know what? That's probably 'coz of me inside... all the crap I've been through... so it's the gen-u-wine article. I think the only reason I agonized for so long, trying to look like someone else, was because I wanted to hide; just disappear into the masses of look-alikes all striving for the "fashion of the day".
You know I wouldn't be content in a crowd like that. LOL. The nail that sticks up, hollaring - but I'm ME, dammit! So that's a battle I don't much think about anymore. I'm clean (most of the time), neat, but not fancy. Simple. Until I start thinking about dressing for a guy... complication #560. Then, I get all weird over it again. Good thing I started Buck out, with my normal farm work "uniform"... and oddly enough, that wasn't a problem or obstacle. But if I'd tried too hard? Maybe show more cleavage? That actually might've been off-putting.
So I basically have adapted Holly's mantra - which is wear what want to, be as comfortable as I wanna be, and if that means plain old face - so be it. It's maybe a version of "when I am OLD, I'll wear purple".
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Two and Skep, you gals are so funny.
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Never underestimate the power of regularly laughing at ourselves and everything else in balancing our well-being - physical, mental and emotional. And I mean uncontrollable giggles kind of laughing... rolling on the floor, trying not to pee yourself, laughing so hard you're crying.
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I woke up this morning recognizing my stomach. Somewhat flat, considering the state of it over the last 2 weeks. Well, it is flat, now that I look, and my jeans are hanging. Where did all that fluff GO? I think I peed it out. I think my cells must have been bursting with inflammation, and I'm gobsmacked to see that difference, unexpectedly.
It's difficult to value sleep properly, and it's the effect on our health.
Enough sleep.... I'm talking 9 or more hours a night, is HUGE, IME. Better to get 10 or 11.
We have blue blocker glasses in the house, to wear a couple hours before bed. We aren't using them at all right now. I know better. I'm just not in a place to USE them consistently.
Lighter
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This is no hack or clever discovery at all, just a report on a simple but significant to me health step. The stroke was sobering.
I have been to the pool for several days and just walk in the water up to lower chest height (can't submerge the monitor on my upper chest) for 45 min to an hour. I push my arms back and forth ahead and behind me for extra resistance. I feel better.
M is joining me, or a friend now and then and they love it too.
Hops
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I KNOW movement and exercise are very important keys to better emotional, and physical health.
I KNOW THIS, and have experienced it, but it's difficult to practice/be engaged consistently at this point in my life.
I hurt myself when I went back to working out, and shoulders are just now feeling normal again.
You're being very smart with movement in the water. That little bit of resistance, and it's so easy on the joints.
Good for you, Hops. I'm glad you're feeling better.
Lighter
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Thanks, ((((Lighter))))!
I know it too.
The biggest muscle I'm trying to work out is the resistance one between my ears.
Hugs
Hops
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I'm playing around with a whole new mantra these days to deal with resistance... STOP STRUGGLING.
I was reminded recently, that sometimes the path of least resistance is the most powerful way through - based on the kung fu saying about how water reduces mountains faster than physical strength.
One thing that happens, to me, that I've noticed when I stop trying to assume an artificial discipline or enforced regimen... is that I stop fighting long enough and using all that focus and energy in the struggle... to make a SPACE for me to want something enough I instinctively just jump into it. That results in a momentary appreciation and satisfaction... which starts to build a positive feedback loop... if I continue the process.
We can't be what we're not. There's no way I'm going to have the body I had at 30. But if I work at it a little at a time, I can look pretty good for almost 63. Pretty good, is good enough for me. Because then my goals shift to stamina and strength and the inner emotional characteristics that make for the inner beauty that can exist at any age. Positive feedback loop.
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Stop struggling.
I like it, Amber.
I bet struggling burns up a ton of time and energy. I'm going to pay more attention, talk to T about it today.
Lighter
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Skep,
I feel like I'm learning something similar to what you are talking about in dealing with other people too. Especially adult kids. Learning to listen to the problem they express with something in their life, and just stepping back and leaving a space instead of trying to offer advice. I've noticed that they step into those spaces too.
It's been pretty remarkable.
CB
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CB - it does work that way too.
I really think it's the over-responsibility reflex, in my case. Being bereft of parents who were functional and protective, (and sometimes destructive & threatening) I early on became the person in that role. So I over-step boundaries many times, when I don't really have to or even want to. Because of the imperative of keeping the peace, herding people to happiness, or just not being comfortable myself with other people's anger or pain.
But investing all the energy into trying to manage it, hoping it works magic, has very unpredictable results. And you know what they say about people who keep trying to do the same thing and expecting different results.... LOL.
So, for now, refusing to struggle that way... is working for me. And as for other people's opinions about whether I'm working the way they think they should... or on the tasks they think I should... pffffft. They're not the boss of me. And maybe I'm resisting following their orders, because I want to reinforce that point; which is perfectly reasonable.
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Ha ha!
They're not the boss of me!!
I'm going to remember that one.
CB