Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Hopalong on May 10, 2024, 12:19:32 PM
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Y'all ready to hear about him for another 15 or so? Who needs men?
Pup is insane. I think he needs an exorcism. He has the most hilarious face. He looks at things completely wild-eyed: "What's going ON here?". You can spot all his gene parts: shiztu, corgi, doxie and mini schnauzer. His face looks like an old soldier's with mutton chops, he has like Pooch did a long-limo torso; and he's got a really chipper curled, white-tipped tail. Helps you spot him at twilight. When he stares into the Great Beyond (back yard) he suggests Rin Tin Tin now and then, which is difficult for a three or four-pound dog to do.
Better today because I got EXHAUSTED. Plus, pain. Hurt my other knee in a fall a day or two before Pooch died (coming in the house with her on a leash and carrying too much stuff--tripped over my own feet or the threshhold). Lay on the floor howing and moaning, at which Pooch was, as ever, unimpressed. And my back is spasming a lot. Bending bending bending for pads cleanup. Washing blankets day after day. I have two weeks' worth of filthy dishes in the kitchen and Mt. Everest laundry to fold.
But he's worth it. A sweet and funny little madman. Whew. One day he'll live up to the mellow shitzu part. Now he's mostly a maniac.
Which fits, since I am insane to start with a puppy at 74. Gotta grind through this chapter and then...maybe?...I'll have the calm lap companion of my dreams. Or...not! He's forcing me back to life in a lot of ways. Cried for Pooch briefly this morning, just staring at my tea. I'll miss her always. There was incredible communion with her.
But it's coming with Pup. A friend who came by said she could see how bonded to me he is already. He performed his first nonstop outdoor zoomies for us, which were outstanding. So much laughter. He was so tired he slept nearly all day yesterday.
Hugs
Hops
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So. Tiny! Three or four pounds is so small!
Sounds like love to me, Hops.
Hope you heal up and feel better quick.
Lighter
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The rescue lady estimates he'll top out around 10 lbs.
Could be, though that may be as reliable as her description of him as "mostly housetrained." HAH.
But she heard how important the weight was to me, and may have told me what I wanted to hear. He won't be really big, and smaller than Pooch, I'll wager.
She also hasn't produced written medical records, which irks me. I've asked twice.
Hugs
Hops
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Keep asking, Hops. Don't ask, don't get.
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Well, they may not exist...not sure what her problem is. She talked about given and will-be-needed shots in an email. I'd just like the paper trail to give our vet.
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[Longwinded account of a very minor thing, so don't waste energy. Just benefitted from writing it out, fwiw.]
Well, Pup is a terrorist. While he's looking all handsome and charming, he is plotting murder. He found a baby bunny and dumped it on the step as he scooted back inside, all "who, me?". The next day he re-found it and I got the poor thing away from him. Holding it, I was surprised that it looked perfect, just quiet...then turned it over and found a horrible slash across its belly/torso. Oddly no bleeding, but it looked like what a sharp puppy tooth could do. No visible puncture or stuff hanging out though, so I took it in, looked up stuff and put it in a small box on a soft towel, with a heating pad under part of the box.
Called a rehabber twice, no luck. By two days I'd had enough (all sources said no food or water, leave in quiet with heat source) -- so I'd just be imagining this lovely hurt young creature dying alone dehydrated in my kitchen. I drove (with an excited Pup as distracting passenger --- couple hair-raising swerves on the interstate) to the best wildlife center there is. We went over the mountain and they said they'd be glad to treat it, push antibiotics etc. To fix that wound surgically would take VERY tiny stitches. Big relief. I was afraid it'd die on the way.
A last thing I love about this org is they give you a patient number for the wildlife you bring in, so you can inquire how they're doing in a few days. Lovely idea.
Anyway, this was long and prolly boring, so feel NO need to reply!
hugs
Hops
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Oh, Hops.....the little bunny got the best care. I wasn't bored reading all that. I was on the edge of my seat ...and procrastinating for a minute at the lake house.
Pup isn't a murderer, btw. Just following his programming. I hope his desire to please (you) takes over.
The situation sounded very stressful.
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Pups (and kitties) will do that because they're trying to take care of you - bringing you food and teaching you to hunt.
LOLOL. Ain't reciprocity GREAT? more LOLOLOLOL.
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Pup has Aunties!
Thanks, y'all.
I remember cracking up the first time I learned that cats are not trying to feed you critters....they're patiently repeating unwanted wounded victims on the kitchen floor because they don't understand why these enormous dim-witted kittens won't catch on!
My two "hunter" dogs were generally lousy at it, fortunately, though I was sad to witness two bloody groundhog slaughters, complete with horrible screams, from my last Big Dog....she was a gorgeous mystery creature...stunningly beautiful and, as it turned out, lethal now and then. Before her, the Biggest Dog was fortunately a hunting doofus. Purebred and huge yellow Lab, brought to a tiny rural shelter because he was a lousy hunter. Perfect for me! So gorgeous a fancy pimp on the street in the 70s once stopped us and said, "I'll give you five-hunnert for that dog!" Forget it, buddy.
Last Big Dog was discovered in the belly of a stray some vet students in Atlanta (one the son of a publisher friend of mine) were "learning surgery on" -- they had missed that the stray subject was pregnant, and the son-vet brought the two surviving puppies home on holiday break. They invited us over and my D went berserk for the pup, whom I cared for for the next 13 years after endless passionate promises "Mom, I'll do all the work..." LOL. Big Dog was wild-looking and mysterious -- a really spectacular being. People would stop on the street and ask "What breed is that?" Hah. Don't do breeds -- she was a magnificent mystery mix. Double coat that flowed in the wind, erect ears, sort of wolfish face, reserved personality, coiled energy. Her mam was a white shepherd mix, her tongue was black (like a chow). No telling about genes, it was pre-doggy-DNA.
I've loved every dog I've ever had. Pooch was in a different category altogether...soul bonding, like living with a sister version of Buddha. But every one has walked right into my heart. Pup is chewing, clawing, barking and peeing his way...but he's in. :)
hugs
Hops
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What a nice post to have morning coffee with, Hops.
My DD23's spirit animal is her pug.
Strangely, she watches mice cross the kitch n floor and doesn't even stand up. Once she pulled a baby mole out of the underbrush and was all...."can we keep it?"
No killer instinct, past ripping doggy toys apart, starting with the nose. Every time.
I'm curious if you're writing, Hops. I hope so.
Lighter
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How is your little chap pup doing, Hops?
Need an update, please!
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He needs to go to military school.
But he's trying. Cute in manyyyy ways.
I love him. The heat's turned us both into pancakes.
It's a LOT of work ime, and I need to give him more time, stimulation, training.
Feel like a bad Mom sometimes. We're signed up for obedience training next month.
My sleep is so messed up that I got day and night mixed up after an all-nighter (I was nervous about seeing the handyman I've developed a crush on and didn't sleep at all). Felt like a 14 y/o. If there are 14 y/o zombies. Two nights later I still hadn't recovered (from the no-sleep night) and crashed into a nap in the evening without
realizing I'd left him on the patio not in his pen. The nap turned into a coma. Oops.
The next morning after a heavy rain I opened the door and there he was, absolutely soaked. He looked at me with a total What the F**k? expression, marched in and I dried him off and fussed over him a lot and we cuddled in bed and he bit me half as much. (That's how I'm measuring our progress. He likes to bite everything but is catching on.) Teething must be driving him nuts, Bully Sticks help.
A few poems have appeared, Lighter. I'm pretty slow these days, unproductive. But I did get the kitchen cleaned up before the cleaner came this morning, and when she saw me clutching the piano to not fall down she offered to come back next week. I was glad she did. I've been having low-BP and/or hypoglycemia episodes pretty often in the mornings...I'll get quite weak and worry about the legs giving way. Started having a fat spoonful of honey morning and night, will see if it helps.
Thanks for asking about Pup. Wild man. I'm glad he's here and I hope I will do right by him. Oh, got a fancy heavy new black chaise for the patio. Once the bugs ease up I'll spend more time outside with him, which he loves. Still does great zoomies. The bugs have been horrid this year. My ankles and arms are bug ice cream...
hugs
Hops
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Oh, dear! Sounds like an adjustment with the puppets. They all chew and need training You're doing fine.
Not sure if I mentioned it, but my T recommended Hawthorne to even out blood pressure. She takes it. I take it. You might consider it. I don't like how wobbly you're feeling, but understand it's complicated. You're informed, I know that much.
Can't wait for crisp cool fall weather. You and pup will enjoy that chaise when the bugs go. Sorry you have so many bites.
I think my standard long sleeves and pants keep me mostly unbitten. My sister thinks I'm crazy for dressing this way in the heat, but I just really hate bug bites!
Don't judge how your days line up or sleep patterns. When energy comes, and it will, embrace it.
Otherwise, don't waste the down time feeling guilty. Embrace it, sans shame, and see what's there, besides a wet and disappointed pup, lol.
I really enjoyed reading your post, Hops. I'd be happy to read your recent poems, if you don't mind sharing them.
Lighter
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How are you & pup getting on Hops? Negotiated a truce yet on the housebreaking? ;)
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Thanks, guys. Pup and I are making progress.
The reason he's only half housebroken is me...when your person sleeps all morning and you GOTTA go, you gotta go. But he's catching on and his mistakes are fewer. I have puppy pads everywhere. The classes should get us both into practices that help.
The heat might be breaking, though I'm afraid to get my hopes up. Fall will come, regardless.
The patio side has its glam new black door and looks much better. The only planting I plan is some mums in the big pots...waiting for handyguy as my back Will Not at the moment.
The rain garden is choked with growth, and I can't tell which are weeds and which were intentional. I'll turn garden guy loose on it next time he can spare a few hours. Mostly this summer, I've just let it all be so it's getting jungly. Out back, mimosas and wild grape and all sorts of invaders like that are enjoying themselves, and I don't mind it not being manicured at all. It's "ungardened" though regularly mowed. Birds and smaller wildlife definitely feel at home.
My current Pup worry is something he does now and then. When I'm not hypervigilant he'll come right next to my head and deliver a truly piercing very loud bark and my ears (already with tinnitus) will ring at double volume for hours. That actually does worry me as although it's funny to think about, it could contribute to permanent hearing loss. Grrr.
Anyhoo, I do love him and when I feel energetic enough to take him places and entertain him with new people, he's very sweet and fun. The gory truth is, though, I wouldn't do it again. It was a grief-crazed impulse and I should've stuck to my initial plan of adopting a mellow elder dog. So be it...life is made of such decisions.
He's just a little tempest of testosterone!
Thanks for checking on us.
hugs
Hops
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Some breeds stay puppy longer than others Hops. By the time they're 2, they begin to listen better, understand what you want from them, etc. Some are incredibly (almost delightfully) stubborn & willful, though.
I think the worst of the heat has passed now. Enough so, I may be able to finally plant the last of herbs out. They took a big hit in the drought because Mama just couldn't brave the sun/heat/bugs to haul water. Veggie garden is knee high weeds again this year - even though I tried to put weed fabric down. I have plenty of rocks to weigh it down, but apparently I didn't haul enough. Next year: fabric staples. I hear a steady stream of criticism from Hol over my garden...
It's feeling time to shift gears and prepare for the next season already. Doing a deep clean in the house. B is flooded in, at his place - the mail doesn't even run. Since Hol is submerged in work/visitors this week - I'm just plugging away at little jobs in the studio when I need a change of scenery. It's just me & the kitties - altho, Hol's friend who's landscaping will kinda be odd man out this week too and I like him a lot. We might hang out.
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((Hops and puppy)) I hope cooler temps bring relief and energy to carry you through this phase.
We use a spray water bottle with our pug, who'll be a puppy her entire life, seems.
She's house broken, but she'll bark commands in sharp unbearable yips....unless the bottle's in sight.
Also, she'll do anything for a treat....she won't come out a door without permission IF there's a treat in my hand. Same with coming off the porch, moving to the tree line and entering the forest.
Treats, esp tender ones, are magic to food motivated pups, IME. You know this, but reminding.
I hope you feel stronger soon.
Lighter
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Y'all are so kind to care. Thanks!
We really are surviving each other and I know in a year it'll be MUCH better.
He's adorable and smart and by then -- or likely well before -- I'll be less drained.
It's ME that needs water in the face! LOL. Truth is I've been struggling with a lot of processing and memory stuff lately. I'm hoping it's heat + fatigue, nothing sinister.
But the already-off-kilter brain plus heat and fatigue is not a shining performance. Organizing my methods with him (I really do know how puppies work, having raised multiple dogs) is as challenging as the rest of the organizing picture. So my little ragamuffin and I will shamble on together. We're both adapting. He gives more kisses than bites now, too! (For some reason neither of my last two rescues were into kisses, and I like them. Especially on the toes...)
It was good to vent, and most of the time it's all more funny than not. His zoomies should be an event at the Olympics.
hugs
Hops
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Ahhh. Met a couple folks who thought mini Schnauzer is his dominant gene. Hmm. Read up on them and well, makes a LOTTA sense. Maybe the civilized corgi and shih tzu are outvoted in his wacky bod. Or just for now, and as he grows, they'll temper his wildman traits.
Very interesting stuff! I'm looking forward to the classes end of month.
Today was a gorgeous, perfect day (I'm starting to wonder if August is one of my favorite months) and I dragged myself out, with pup, for a beer and fish taco with two writer pals. Did me so much good, and it's obvious I've got to break the hermit spell more often.
Pup benefitted hugely, it was obvious. Another dog (the one who "disciplined" him with a serious nip when he corrnered her on the patio) along...he admired and yearned but kept respectful distance) plus people-pats. A good time, v. salubrious.
I hadn't been to this restaurant (at the bottom of an art park that's about the coolest place in town) and it's got parking right there, lots of green space, and loads of outdoor tables. A new favorite instantly. Beneficial for both dog and woman.
hugs
Hops
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That sounds like a very good day Hops.
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That sounds like a wonderful outing with pup and writer pals, Hops.
Nice to break get out in the sunshine and enjoy fellowship, IME.
It's 82 here and breezy!
::swooning::. How lucky am I? Couldn't ask for nicer weather 🌞
Lighter
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Glad for your good weather, Lighter. Amber, I hope the same is true on the mtn.
I bet it's getting crisp in the mornings there about now. Or maybe I'm jumping the gun.
So, Pup had another adventure. Took him to the Board meeting I go to every month for the elder nonprofit. Took him a while to settle down but he eventually just passed out on the rug. (We meet in an old-fashioned "parlor" room at my church, since we don't have to rent that space. It's got four couches in a square, cushions, great light, portraits, books, etc. They put in a mini split this spring, very helpful.) Clearly he needs more outings and I do too.
woofs,
Hops
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It's getting cooler and outing less taxing, I hope.
I know we're outside more and sweating/suffering less.
Lighter
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Zo.
I HAVE NOT YET MADE THIS DECISION. Just sitting with it, which hurts but also relieves. Facts:
--I adore Pup; he's just as ridiculously adorable as ever. In his 8th month now.
--He is willful, stubborn, still not housetrained. A complete charmer when he does get the outings he deserves.
--His lack of successful training and exercise is 100% on me, not him. He's just who he is. Every second he's awake requires constant hypervigilance. I can't relax all day. Either I have to pen him up and listen to him bark or scold him or worry about the chewing noises in another room (legs of two antiques I can't afford to refinish, so far). So we're basically coping together all day except for a few micronaps.
ALL of this is on me. Were I a more responsible and motivated person, he'd have two hours a day of hard flat-out excercise, including dog park trips. But I'm not. I'm also facing that since I'll be 75 in spring, adopting a puppy was truly STOOPID. It was 2 days after Pooch, my soul companion and family died, when I yielded to an irrational intense impulse...and here we are.
So, lots skipped except for him both crapping and pissing on the couch the other day for the third time (I also can't afford another reupholster job)...I'm facing the question.
While he's still adorably young, is is FAIR for me to keep him? Or should I be the adult who needs to release him to a young family with at least one dog and maybe a kid or two to run around with him? I think that's the perfect environment for him and will give him a happier life. IF they're kind people who take training puppies in stride. (I had to drop out of the class because everyone else was in about their 30s and I just couldn't keep up with the fast pace. I was the only old person there. Changing directions came fast and furious while I was still trying to get a treat out of my pocket and into the correct hand. It was a firehose. I felt, no denial, too old to be doing this. The instructor is kindly going to give me one private session so my money wasn't wasted, she'll come here, and I think it'll help me make the decision.)
Folks I talk to usually begin explaining immediately how dogs work (I know already) and the problem is NOT Pup, it's me. My back is very painful now at the slightest amount of bending --don't even cook any more-- and there's not much hope on the horizon that if I keep wrangling him for another year....it'll be better.
So, thoughts very welcome, perhaps not direct advice. It's just letting go...again.
THANKS for listening, friends. Dunno yet what I'll choose but it's just sitting with it...I needed to talk about the choice I face.
many hugs and thanks,
Hops
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Oh, Hops.....I don't like to see you turn on yourself. It's obvious you care very much for pup. You know how train and care for him, but it's just not working out, for reasons you'd alter if you could.
No one's fault. You did your best to give little man a loving home. There's no shame in accepting your back isn't up to this overwhelming task.
Your kind heart doesn't have to feel anything but gratitude for the future forever family lucky enough to fall in love with your little chap....and.... it's ok.
Consider gifting that private puppy training lesson to the adoptees, maybe?
Your back has had all it can reasonably take, ((Hops ))
There's a situation out there for this cute pup.
It's your fault for trying to get the a bond and care?. How is that a bad thing? Not bad or good.
It will be your doing when the new family is found. Let it be joyful, Hops. Be kind to yourself
Lighter
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My thoughts, Hospie, for what they're worth are -
Pets of all kinds need time and specific input from their owners, dependent on their needs
We all have our own limits and it's really important to be aware of and honest about those
I think the most loving thing anyone can do for their pet is be honest about whether their capacity matches their pet's needs and if it doesn't, find somewhere else that matches up. I think a family with kids who would likely run pup ragged with their need to play with him constantly would be perfect for him. Also much easier for those with springier backs to deal with house training, chewing, slipper stealing and all the other things that puppies bring. You could keep him another year and then decide it's too much but by then it will be much harder to retrain him out of unhelpful habits.
With regards to letting go - yes, it's very hard. And I think the feeling of an empty house can be very difficult to deal with. But if further pets/companionship were an option or a way of lessening the problem of letting go, I highly recommend cats! Particularly older ones who are harder to rehome; adoption centres here are always on the lookout for people who've got space for older kitties. They walk themselves, are naturally clean and tidy and the older ones tend to hunt less so fewer mice and birds to deal with (if any at all). Over here there are fostering schemes available as well, which work well for people who love having a pet but are unable to make a commitment. The charities pay for upkeep and vet bills, the fosterer gets the love and affection from the pet and the original owner (here these situations usually arise because an owner has to move into supported living or something like that) knows the pet is being loved and well cared for. None of this is intended to come across as "rehome the pup and immediately do something else!" More to suggest ways to help lessen the letting go side of things should that be the decision that you come to xx
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Such wise thoughts, thank you mucho.
I'd love to have a cat but I developed a strong allergy in my last sweet kitty's last year. It was enough to trigger my asthma, so I got tested. That's been a couple decades so I might get tested again just for cat -- it'd be awesome if it's gone away. I'd might even do the cat-shots if the immunologist is pretty certain it'd work. I love cats.
I'm already a registered foster at our lovely no-kill shelter. I can ask them for an older sweet female who's already used to housetraining and a home environment, and perhaps bring her home to help me train Pup. Might be worth a try. Be worth it to get on that waiting list, regardless.
Another alternative I considered is a "boarding training camp" run here. He would go stay with a professional trainer for two weeks who'd train him plus one other dog every day. The cost makes my hair stand on end, but if I find I can ethically decide to keep him, I'll need something comprehensive other than rushed weekly classes.
Thanks for lettting me chew this over, y'all! You've no idea how much it helps to have this little family of sisters.
grateful hugs,
Hops
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It sounds like you've got a number of different options, Hops, which is always a good thing. And whatever happens, you know you've done/will do your best for him, so he's not going to end up in a terrible situation. Either you'll take good care of him or someone else will so he'll get a good deal regardless.
The cat thing is weird, isn't it? I know a few people who've developed an allergy to their cat, it's strange how allergies work. Someone else I know is okay with certain types of cats but highly allergic to others. Had no idea there were cat shots! Good to have different possibilities. You'll come to the right decision, whatever it might be x
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There are some kitties that cause fewer allergic reactions, but I'll be blessed if I remember which breeds those are! With a kitty, there is always the litterbox situation to consider. I have to clean the little strays mess up every day... and vacumn what they kick or drag out of the litter box. (No, I've not found a situation for them yet.)
But cats are as many different personalities as people. Some completely independent and as long as food & water is regular - not particularly upset by anything. Sometimes that personality can also be totally bonded to you and lovey - but on their schedule. The other end of the spectrum, is the velcro cat - little gluttons for affection and attention, and always wanting to be a lap warmer & to sit on your keyboard blocking the screen.
Kittens are so full of energy & curious/mischievious that it's a lot to handle. My guys are just starting to jump - they easily manage the bed and have scaled the bathroom vanity. They climb curtains - sigh. So I have to put things out of reach - especially anything "tissue". Such great fun for a kitten to unwind and shred a whole roll of toilet paper...
All that said, a house with a cat in it is never lonely. They make super (quiet) companions for introverts with just enough social interaction and frequent naps to be good company. But I'm clearly more of a cat person, than a dog person. I like Knuckles OK; been around as he grew up and he's perfectly well-mannered now - but the dog has a constant play "on button". That's tiring. Kiri, the Pyr/Setter mix is gentle and sweet and thinks she's a princess most of the time. But she has a serious, work/prey side to her also and she's fast & strong; she takes no crap from Knuckles - "I'm the pitbull in charge" dominance. She chases coyotes if given the chance, and would kill them.
Just like cats, there are dogs that personality-wise might be a better fit for you Hops. But you'll have to consult the dog people... I'm not much help.
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I knew what I needed: an older, mellow couch and cuddle potato dog, female.
What I did: Yield to an irresistibly powerful photo of the wrong kind of pooch for me at this stage of life. And in the first stage of a grief so deep I couldn't face it.
Still love him to bits. Still contemplating the training camp. But I don't have to decide today.
I admire you for managing life with all those beloved animals. Had I your gumption, I'd also have two donkeys, a pet duck or goose and godknowswhatelse.
hugs
Hops
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All the animals is sometimes exhausting. Kiri has gotten out of the fence (under or over, no one knows) twice now. There are only 6 geese left, but the wild predators are well fed. Those birds will be sold or slaughtered soon, as the cost of feed on Hol's income is onerous and she literally doesn't have time (by herself) to take care of everything. Fortunately, most of the studio redo is done. We're taking a break.