Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: in friendship on January 05, 2005, 06:10:50 PM
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I have been reading this board and 'lurking' for many months.
It seems to me that there is a little fraternity who respond to each others' posts and ignore others?
Many 'newbie' posts sink without a trace - although they are probably the most in need of help and advice.
It also seems to me that there are very, very many Narcissists actually posting here in the hope of 'validation' or 'supply'.
I also think there are posters whose problems have nothing to do with 'Narcissism' and would be much better directed to other websites - such as child abuse, depression, anxiety etc.
I mean no harm but I think this needs to be addressed.
My Best
L
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I've wondered the same thing. Thank you, in friendship, for mentioning it. Perhaps it's a matter of what interests other posters. But I, too, have felt ignored some days. Guess I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a clique but you raise an interesting point.
Best,
bludie
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This is just provocation and I wish Dr G would remove it.
bunny
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I am the victim of a mother who never wanted me, who told me that every day of my life - from the moment I understood language.
I think this site is very concentrated on the "Poor Me - Victim" outrage.
I also believe this is more than validated, with anger, guilt, pain and inward dialogue.
Instead of wallowing in our pain (and I've done that for more years than I can imagine).......
Let's start a new site and the URL is available:
www.voices.com
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This is just provocation and I wish Dr G would remove it.
bunny
How can you call anything I said Provocation?
I was just trying to help......
Kindest
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This is just provocation and I wish Dr G would remove it.
bunny
How can you call anything I said Provocation?
I was just trying to help......
Kindest
You're joking, right?
I'm not going to engage. This is my last post on this thread.
bunny
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I'm very upset that you are annoyed with me. I thought I raised valid issues. I believed my thread raised issues that should be addressed.
If not - I apologise.
Kindest
L
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From my first post I have received many replies on this board. But on some posts the replies have been limited. Sometimes we just vent and perhaps have a problem that is essentially a one-off situation and thus do not receive many replies. Basically, I think the level of reply will depend on the topic. Don't be disheartened as I believe that there are many people here who truely are helpful.
EC
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I have been reading this board and 'lurking' for many months.
It seems to me that there is a little fraternity who respond to each others' posts and ignore others?
Many 'newbie' posts sink without a trace - although they are probably the most in need of help and advice.
It also seems to me that there are very, very many Narcissists actually posting here in the hope of 'validation' or 'supply'.
I also think there are posters whose problems have nothing to do with 'Narcissism' and would be much better directed to other websites - such as child abuse, depression, anxiety etc.
I mean no harm but I think this needs to be addressed.
So Since when have you become the savior of newbies? No-no-i don't buy it. i think this is a very personal thing for you.You feel ignored in some way and this is how you choose to address it. Or you are little bored these days and just feel like stirring up the pot a bit.
If you meant no harm you would not be saying that there are VERY MANY narcissists themselves posting here.What kind of thing is that to say?And you wouldn' be deciding that people don't have the problem that this board addresses & suggesting that they should go elsewhere.
No-Bunny has it right.your little ending words of "in kindness" don't fool everyone.
from a popular Pearl Jam song--dedicated to you:
I see through your eyes
and I see through your brain--
Like I see through the water
that runs down my drain :evil:
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Post deleted because it was written as a taunt.
Richard Grossman
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I also think there are posters whose problems have nothing to do with 'Narcissism' and would be much better directed to other websites - such as child abuse, depression, anxiety etc.
This message board is not limited to discussions of narcissism. Many of the "voiceless" have experienced child abuse, depression, anxiety, etc. These are all welcome topics.
Richard
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Good morning In Friendship ‘L’, Bludie, Bunny, EC, the guest who likes Pearl Jam and Dr Grossman can-I-call-you-Richard-please?……if I did that on every single thread I responded to I’d be here all day wouldn’t I?
In Friendship do I know you, have we spoken before? Are you another member too?
Other members who know me of old (? Did I just create a clique there? Am I allowed to say that? See how this type of thing starts us second-guessing ourselves?), this thread is like candy to kids huh? How could I resist. Do you think I’ll ever lose the need to respond to this type of thing? Maybe not. Maybe it’s a good thing. Ponder ponder. Anyhoos:
Question time. In friendship:
I have been reading this board and 'lurking' for many months.
Why? Have you got something to say or ask about your own situation? Or are you simply observing? Which and why?
little fraternity who respond to each others' posts and ignore others
if there were, hypothetically, so what, who cares? Why should you care? What would it matter? What’s the problem here as you see it?
Many 'newbie' posts sink without a trace - although they are probably the most in need of help and advice.
Please give facts and examples. Show one newbie post that hasn’t had a reply. This is your opinion isn’t it? This is your interpretation. Did you once post and not get many replies? Is there something you want to talk about and for some reason don’t feel that you can? Why not say what’s really on your mind? What’s really on your mind In friendship? You want to talk? You want to be accepted as a newbie? Go ahead! Talk to us.
It also seems to me that there are very, very many Narcissists actually posting here in the hope of 'validation' or 'supply'.
Oh come on! Did you really expect to write that and not get some rebukes? That’s such an outrageous thing to say! Can you see that? There are some things we just think, and thinking is free and uncensored but heck, we don’t say them because we know we’re going to be very unpopular. That above is one of those things. Of course sometimes we say things like that just to start a disagreement because we might like heightened emotional exchanges, because it’s all we know. Why did you say that?
I also think there are posters whose problems have nothing to do with 'Narcissism' and would be much better directed to other websites - such as child abuse, depression, anxiety etc.
My interpretation is that your view of the world is a bit limited, narrowly-focussed. Broaden out a bit. See that your observation above doesn’t matter. If we had message boards limited to strictly defined problems, there’d be one message board per person. Because we are all trapped inside our own world-views and we can never enter someone else’s brain to make sure they see things exactly the way we do. Hey, if you’ve been here for many months, where were you on the still-living-with-my-child’s-abuser issue we had a while back? Now that raised interesting questions to ponder. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, no worries.
I mean no harm but I think this needs to be addressed.
I think you’re being truthful when you say you mean no harm. But you have caused irritation (me) and maybe anger. So what were you trying to do?
You see, you think ‘this’ needs to be addressed. What is the ‘this’ that you see that needs addressing, exactly? It’s not clear to me. Maybe you think there are Ns here and they need to be banned? Maybe you think there are abused people here who should be sent elsewhere? But it’s not clear to me exactly what you want to happen. Do you want to tell us what you’re thinking? Because if you think and tell us more exactly what you are thinking – make it clearer and more precise – you’ll perhaps discover something interesting about yourself. Perhaps, I don’t know! I have no idea who you are, why you are here lurking and why you felt so strongly that you started this thread. Do you want to tell us more? Tell me more?
I'm very upset that you are annoyed with me. I thought I raised valid issues. I believed my thread raised issues that should be addressed.
If not - I apologise.
Nope, it’s no good apologising when you don’t know and don’t understand what you have done to upset people. Didn’t your mother do this to you, make noises that sound like an apology but aren’t at all? Mine did. Heck let’s bring up that great thread by Flower on apology! Come on, you’re not telling the truth and that’s a waste of everyone’s time here. If you can’t tell the truth, what are you doing here?
Wanna chat? Wanna connect? P
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Take Two. In friendship, I just mentioned you on the other thread ‘ignored?’. Just so you know.
Anyway, I initially made a complete hash of interpreting that thread so I thought hmmm what did I miss on this thread? Hey I found this:
I am the victim of a mother who never wanted me, who told me that every day of my life - from the moment I understood language.
I am sorry for this In Friendship, I am sorry. There is nothing that can ever compensate for this lack of love, acceptance, self-giving. And if you were told this from that young (and I would guess you knew it before you understood language), this is such a huge legacy to overcome. To learn to love, accept and allow yourself the right to exist as as valuable a person as anyone else – it’s a tough job huh?
Okay you also said:
Instead of wallowing in our pain (and I've done that for more years than I can imagine).......
Let's start a new site and the URL is available:
But wait. I clicked and yes, the URL is available. But what would you want to put there? What would you want Voices to be about? What would the content be? And why can’t we do it here? So instead of wallowing in our pain….let’s….do what? Find a way to leave the pain behind? Talk about ‘good news’ as it were, instead of ‘bad news’? Don’t you think this happens here? I think it does.
I’m really confused about what you want. Tell us what you want, please. You have this wonderful resource, why not use it? You haven’t ‘burned your bridges’ so to speak (although I didn’t see the content of the deleted post, was that yours?). You still have the opportunity to open up. Everyone makes mistakes. I make loads of mistakes. Doesn’t mean we have to shut up. Especially not here.
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Deleted due to taunt.
Richard Grossman
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Deleted
Richard Grossman
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Deleted
Richard Grossman
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I wanted to acknowledge Portia's last post, because I think it was written in the spirit of love and compassion and understanding, and I am happy to see such a response here, especially to a post that is disturbing to many. I do not say this to give Portia a proverbial pat on the back, or to currie favor with her. I say this because that is what, I, in my personal and humble opinion feel is missing from this site; that is, the ability to be tolerant and understanding and accepting of other points of view; to acknowledge when one might be misunderstanding another in a loving and kind way, and to try to see the pain and hurt beneath the message instead of shooting the messenger.
So Portia, thank you, on behalf of the poster to whom you are responding, for taking a step back and being able to step outside of what might be your own perception and attempt to see things from another point of view.