Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: jondo on February 03, 2005, 10:33:55 PM
-
Has anyone ever practiced daily affirmations? Most children of Ns suffer from very low self-esteem. I used to be my own worst critic with constant voices to my self such as - fat, useless, stupid, can't do anything right etc. Essentially, the same things my parents said about me my entire childhood. I was just carrying on their work. This resulted in being nervous all the time and incapable of even simple tasks - especially with other people watching/expecting. I would just defeat myself in my own mind. Somebody pointed this out to me and only then did I realize that I was so self-critical. A person has to become aware of that inner-voice and change it to a positive one. It's really a powerful thing. Whether it's "I like myself" or "I'm a good person" or "People like me" etc. I would encourage others to try this. The change comes from within and it's almost miraculous. All the Best
-
Has anyone ever noticed that they have forgotten how to laugh? I mean, those really hearty belly laughs, the kind that would hurt your tummy....yet they felt so good, the chemicals from that joy would course through your entire body and psychologically lift you....
Well, there have been times in my life where I could manage to laugh out loud, and for some reason, I feel like the longer I live, the harder it is to laugh like that, maybe I was better able to cope somehow in my earlier years? But that can't be, because I know I am healing now, and am healed more now than I've ever been before. So where has my laughter gone? How can I bring that out in myself, where laughter comes so easily to me, and things used to be funnier than they are now...I don't know if anyone knows what I am trying to say...
How can it be, that the more whole I become, dealing with my traumas, the less I am able to laugh? Is it because I am getting older now...or pre-menopausal?
There is this young man, he comes over to play video games with my son, several times a week. He has ADD, (attention deficit disorder) and he is on Ritalin. This boy simply cannot stop himself from laughing. He laughs so loud, this high shrill, and it rolls out of him so easily, yet he is the extreme and cannot stop himself from this hysterical laughter. You tell him over and over, to keep it down, because it really gets annoying and gives you a headache after hearing this for a few hours.
Yet, part of me wonders how I can be a little more like him, and find my laugh.
-
I was just talking to Phillip. He answered my question very easily, and it makes so much sense to me! He said, "It is because the more you are healing, the closer to your pain you are becoming"....which to me say it all. Thank you Phillip. )He answered me somewhere else...)
It means to me, that I am getting intouch with my own pain, and understanding it more. Maybe that didn't quite come out right, but to me it is the exact answer I have been searching for, and makes perfect sense.
-
Jondo: actually, we all have been saying things to ourselves about ourselves our whole lives. Affirmations are a way of feeding yourself good stuff (instead?). If we are lucky we get a lot of that self talk training as children, and then we form our own self talk through life experience.
If we are told, or tell ourselves, that we are bad, etc, then our core beliefs about ourselves and life become what we "hear" and end up believing....then we attract negativity and a downward spiral begins. Conversely, positive, affirmative self talk would have us feeling wonderful and attracting wonderful things in our lives! It all makes perfect sense to me.
Unfortunately, I think we are trained in the Western world, to cast suspicion on anything we can't quantify. People, in general, (perhaps from religious training, think "original sin") have a hard time accepting that they are pure and deserving of their dreams in life, so this gets passed off as hooey.
Whatever. (like I tell my students: if it works for you, use it....)
I remember hearing about some champion poker player (ok, I can't relate to the poker part) who said he has a little note on his bathroom mirror that says "good things happen to me". And they do.
My father was a true example of this type of positive imaging...it was manifested in his life and is our legacy as his children. I feel blessed to have known him and perhaps that is why my "dark" times were not so dark.
I have many positive things I tell myself everyday. Some are very specific to me, but I am truly convinced it is a huge part of changing my life for the better.
Through my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, I create my life.
Isn't it cool? This life is so interesting!
-
Dear Mum...
I just wanted you to know how much I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts. You are a very nurturing, positive person, and I just wanted to thank you.
-
Direction
"The great thing in the world
is not so much where we stand
as in what direction we are moving."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
HOPE
Hope lies in dreams in one's imagination
and in the courage of those who dare
to make dreams into reality.
- Jonas Salk
-
Naomi: that Phillip is a wise friend, huh?
I am a teacher and I am blessed to be around kids all day. Yeah, they drive me nuts a lot of the time, but they can be damn funny quite a lot. They laugh over the stupidest stuff that sometimes I give in and go along for the ride.
When I was in some pretty angry times last year, I couldn't find much joy in my job. Teaching is pretty thankless in a lot of ways and when my focus was on how everything was going wrong, things went "wronger"!
Since I have pulled myself up (with much help) I still see that I have an exhausting job, but I tell myself (affirmations, see?) "I have fun at work".....and I do. I tell the kids it's part of my teaching contract that I get to have a good time too.
Now when a kids shows me his "asthma" (rash on his arm) I can laugh a little (and then send him to the nurse cause it really looks like ringworm!)
ADD kids can really take a lot of energy, so I understand that one(especially when they are in your personal space).
As dumb as this sounds, it helped me last year to FIND humorous situations: the Comedy channel on TV, Dave Barry or David Sedaris books, anything to get you to forget your problems and laugh.
Or become a teacher...the paychecks alone are hilarious!
-
thanks, Naomi: would you believe one of my dearest friends and mentors shares your name? She is a remarkable spirit. You seem to be also.
-
MUM- According to Toltec tradition, we are always dreaming, even while awake. Much of our waking dreams are the dreams of others as to who we are. Now it is time for us to create our own dreams and discard what does NOT work for us. A healthy perspective methinks.
When I was a volunteer for an EST type seminar group, the first question we were encouraged to present to our small groups was,"What do you want?" It was always surprising how much difficulty people had with that question.
I absolutely agree with you. When you clear away all the noise, mental and emotional, all that is left is a very pragmatic question, "Does it work for me, yes or no?" Peace.
-
Phillip: I am, on and off, working my way through "Beyond Fear" based on the teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz. I say on and off because I usually have about 5 books going at once (talk about ADD).
It's funny, how almost everything I have read in the past year (and some from way before) and the energy work I am doing right now all share a universal thread: hard to identify it in a few words, but perhaps personal choice/power would be it (or maybe that's it for me because that's what I am working on right now.) Even more basic is the underlying concept of oneness and love. If I try too hard to explain in words (I am much more right brain) I get frustrated. If I just feel what that means, I am content.
There are SO many teachers and so many stories and so many paths. It's overwhelming and perfect at the same time.
-
When I was super codependent and relationship-addicted, I was so desperate that I started using affirmations. I actually hated the idea of saying positive things that I didn't believe at all. It felt corny. But I taped some around my bed. They definitely changed my attitude. I was told that affirmations only work when stated in the present tense or else the mind will ignore the suggestion. It was even harder to say, "I am now attracting positive XYZ" when I felt that I was attracting no such thing but I must say that it worked.
bunny
-
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."
GOETHE
-
Bunny: that's my understanding also, that present tense is what matters(to the subconsious mind...That reminds me of the mouse/manager in the film "Dumbo"). When was that film made? 1960's? The "magic feather" and all.
When my son takes the car, I am careful to say: "BE careful" instead of "don't do anything stupid".....I read somewhere that the "don't" doesn't register, but the rest of the sentence does!
My son uses a technique I have heard called "futurevisioning" when he auditions (musician). He sees and feels (in present tense feeling) doing well, placing a picture of that in his head so one of him choking has no footing...and he told me it works for him. A different type of affirmation (not exactly words), but one nonetheless.
I wonder if we would ever hear of someone for whom affirmations didn't work? Would they say something like: "that's a bunch of crap, those things don't work!" Wouldn't that be exactly the same thing? (they get what they believe).
-
Phillip: great quote from Goethe. So Wayne Dyer has Goethe to thank?
-
I haven't heard that affirmations must be in the present tense (so it's true...ignorance is bliss!).
I have used affirmations and positive suggestions in all kinds of tenses and found them to be very effective.
Future tense, as in "I will....." most certainly worked.
Once, I had a very important exam to write. I did not study. Instead, I spent hours affirming and making positive suggestions to myself. I did exceptionally well on that exam, better than any other I had ever written. I'm no wizzard and I really didn't have a great mark to begin with but that exam upped it quite some bit.
My understanding is that imagining oneself actually doing the goal, or being successful, greatly enhances the chances of achieving the objective. So if one envisions oneself actually as one wishes to be, while making positive statements, or affirmations, one has a much better chance of getting there.
What's the worst thing that could happen?
GFN
-
I was fortunate several years ago to be friends with a true "Medicine woman" of part Cherokee descent. She was for real. I saw her do things quite beyond what we could consider normal. She said that when we focus on anything, we immediately bring that to us. The universe does not hear the negation though. She was very ill at the time and she said people would pray for her to heal, and their prayers would make things worse because they were not seeing her as well, only ill. She said dodging their energy was like playing a Nintendo game. The intentions were positive, but their methods were detrimental. She said it is all about vibration packets. Like attracts like. See the goal as already accomplished. This seems to be the rule.
-
Phillip. I found your story so ironic. One of my nieces is going through a rough time (years actually). Self abuse, drugs, alcohol, horrible stuff. I decided that feeling sorry for her was sending her images of herself as diseased and sick and this was not helping her at all. Now I do this for her: I first bless her divine path (as in, accept where she is on that path now) and then I visualize her as healthy and happy and healed. She had no power to see that for herself, so I figured sending her more images of what she feels she is (damaged beyond repair, suicidal) would not help her find another vision of herself. Growing up Catholic, I really thought only men in dresses could "bless" others. I believe differently now.
-
Hi Phillip:
re: the Cherokee decent lady's statement:
She said it is all about vibration packets.
Is that like telepathy?
Did her health improve?
Sounds like a very moving/enlightening experience for you?
Mum: Best wishes for your neice. I first bless her divine path.
What an amazing gift you have given me by sharing this.
Thankyou
GFN
-
GFN:
There are a million different ways to describe how energy works, but the energy healer who showed me the opening to my newfound healthy path might describe it this way: We all have our own personal energy vibrations, unique to us. When we think something, it is one dimensional, when we feel something, it becomes two dimensional and that sets up our vibrations to extend out to the universe. The universe, in it's perfect state of unconditional love, gives back to us what ever it is we need, based on those 2 dimensional vibrations.... thus creating or manifesting our experiences in the 3 dimensional world.
It has been said a million different ways, but it comes down to: you get what you give.
I, personally, couldn't understand why I was getting all this pain in my life. I knew what I though should happen, but I was "stuck" feeling and focusing on how I wasn't able to attain my goal, how "stupid, mean people" were responsible for preventing that. I was thinking: this will be great, but I was feeling VERY pissed off....and underlying that were some core beliefs about my own unworthiness. I see now, how in staying angry, I GAVE away my personal power (blaming does that).
Now this all made sense, but the biggest door opening she showed me was HOW to let go of the anger and replace it IN MY BODY, feeling wise, with how I want to feel.
I am happy now, and mostly good things happen...and even though I have pain, I decide and choose whether to keep it or let it go. I don't squash it or deny it, I acknowledge it, and try to discern what it it trying to tell me. I use it. I keep the power that way.
Then I can decide to let it go, and then feel what it's like to have what I want (affirmations certainly help with that).
Once several years ago, I was sick with strep throat. While waiting in line at the pharmacy, I placed myself in the aisle a bit to avoid others and closed my eyes for a second or two. I was feverish and quite focused on how awful I felt. Someone shoved me HARD and I almost fell over. A very angry young man turned around as he ran by and yelled: "If you're having a bad day, well I"M GOING TO PUSH YOU!" He then ran out of the store.
I was stunned, and I'm sure the kid was nuts, but I think that may be a really good example of energy output and creating experiences. Interesting really.
-
Thanks for the explanation, mum. So it's sort of...think good thoughts, feel good stuff, send out good vibes and what goes around comes around type of thing then?
I knew that (heehee).
Actually, I did. And I think it works a whole lot better than the opposite (well, I suppose the opposite does work by bringing the opposite results).
I have never thought about it in terms of energy packets though. That is interesting. I wonder if anyone has ever bothered to study this scientifically and measure it? Wouldn't that be something?
Your story reminds me of what I've personally seen/observed happen in places like stores and other public places. I have found that if I keep my own face rather emotionless, no real expression, when I meet people, they do the same, or some even frown or look miserable. But if I smile, and keep my expression bright, most people smile back. You get what you give I guess, most of the time (not always--I mean I didn't abuse anyone, yet was abused as a child...but for the most part, I agree).
So Phillip, is this the same basic explanation you would give for energy packets? I'm just wondering if the Cherokee lady might have taught you any other descriptions?
Thanks again,
GFN
-
Hi. I wasn't raised by N parents. In fact I had a wonderful childhood thansks to my parents and siblings.
However, when I am embroiled in battles with x N, I find myself saying persoanl affirmations all the time. The last bout with which lasted almost a year really had me a nervous wreck. For the first time in my life, I experienced a severe panic attack. By the grace of God, my Mom was at my home (as my hubby was traveling for business) and she knew what was happening to me. I thought I was going to have to go to the ER but I was able to get through it somehow. Now when I feel one coming on I try to talk myself out of them. I noticed all this panic and anxiety presents itself when I feel x N is breathing down my neck.
As I posted the other day, I won the court battle and I am hoping that he will be quiet for some time now. Since court on Tuesday it has been quiet and I can see a change in his body language and expression when he picks up the kids.
I must say that the self affirmations do help. I also pray and always try to let go of my anger/hate towards him. That stuff can really tear you down and age you beyond your years.
Best wishes.
Mia
-
Mia: Although I think I have grown quite a bit in the last year, I admit that dealings with my exN, and how he treats our children is the place that I feel most challenged in not being afraid.
I do indeed use affirmations constantly, and felt empowered in mediation with him (he had a raging fit that I did not comply with his wishes....)
I really have a great life, but there are things I need to tie up, but avoid based on not wanting to deal with the jerk.
Anyway, I feel like I need to be cautious with my next step in the visitation issue that is coming up. My children express to me frequently that they wish NOT to HAVE to go to dad's so much, and that when they are there, they feel imprisoned, as he will not let them come over to see me on "his time". What they want is to have some choice. We have discussed and I have demonstrated with action, that if they would like to go to dad's on "my time", they certainly may. It is not reciprocal. He is probably concerned that they will not choose to see him if they had a choice.
Child support is also a huge concern to him (he has the money, it's not that) , he sees it as giving money to ME, not them. I am willing to allow him to not increase payments even if they are at his house less...
The bottom line (and the mediator told me she felt this was indeed the case) that it is not about the children for him, but is mostly about GETTING BACK AT ME, because (in her words) "how dare you leave an N!"
(too bad mediators cannot testify in court..she saw it all)
The kids are afraid of him (he is a "punisher" and manipulator) that as recently as two nights ago, my crying daughter said: "I'ts no use. He won't ever let me make a choice." My kids also love him, as he is their dad, half their DNA, and all that. He is capable of being charming and fun and they feel and see that too.
That's the background: now the question: Did you say you had an evaluator? If my kids thought they could tell someone uninvolved how they felt about the visitation without dad getting the direct quotes, they might actually talk about it. Not with a shrink, been there, not where my younger one will go again (not right now)....but with someone who could "actually do something" (her quote).
How did that go? I know you won your case, but I have lost a major one to him and that has me leery....but you can't lose em all, right?
Any insights on this are welcome.
-
Has anyone ever noticed that they have forgotten how to laugh? I mean, those really hearty belly laughs, the kind that would hurt your tummy....yet they felt so good, the chemicals from that joy would course through your entire body and psychologically lift you....
Well, there have been times in my life where I could manage to laugh out loud, and for some reason, I feel like the longer I live, the harder it is to laugh like that, maybe I was better able to cope somehow in my earlier years? But that can't be, because I know I am healing now, and am healed more now than I've ever been before. So where has my laughter gone? How can I bring that out in myself, where laughter comes so easily to me, and things used to be funnier than they are now...I don't know if anyone knows what I am trying to say...
How can it be, that the more whole I become, dealing with my traumas, the less I am able to laugh? Is it because I am getting older now...or pre-menopausal?
There is this young man, he comes over to play video games with my son, several times a week. He has ADD, (attention deficit disorder) and he is on Ritalin. This boy simply cannot stop himself from laughing. He laughs so loud, this high shrill, and it rolls out of him so easily, yet he is the extreme and cannot stop himself from this hysterical laughter. You tell him over and over, to keep it down, because it really gets annoying and gives you a headache after hearing this for a few hours.
Yet, part of me wonders how I can be a little more like him, and find my laugh.
I read in the paper the other day that kids laugh on average 400 times a day, with adults only managing 15!!!!! I think this is terrible as I myself laugh constantly - I have a very funny husband, friends and workmates. Maybe we need to get a TV channel showing Monty Python, Fr Ted and Frasier all day long.
Laugh more everybody!!! We should have a joke thread!
-
Mum
My daughter spoke to and confided in the therapist who was the court appointed custody neutral evaluator. She stated during the interview that she didn't like visiting Dad's overnight. She did tell her that she liked going there as long as she didn't have to stay for a long time. My daughter also said that she never sleeps well over there.
Unfortunately, the therapist advised both parents of what my daughter said with her intention that x N would help make daughter more comfortable over his place...especially at bedtime. Well, x N didn't take well to this and used it against my daughter and later during a visit told her she was a liar and punished her (early bedtimes from here on out). According to my daughter, he told her that not only was she a liar but no one believes her including the therapist. I used all this when we got back to court this week and that is why the Judge court ordered therapy for the children.
Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to tell the mediator that your x N has a tendency to use information gleened from the children's therapy sessions/interviews as weapons against them as opposed to using the info as tools to help improve his relationship with them. In the same breath stress that you do recognize how important it is for the children to have a stable relationship with Dad and you want them to have such a relationship. Always focus on the children and what is best for them. Avoid saying N is this and N is that. I would simply describe some of his behaviors that concern you and believe me, the therapist will begin to put his/her own puzzle together. It's hard to do but I have found that by not "bashing" N the mediators/judges will view you as the more reasonable person who IS looking for what is best for the children.
I have also found that I really don't have to do anything b/c x N ends of sabatoging himself time and time again by his own lies and constant contradictions. Don't get me wrong, I know how to push certain buttons but I will do so in the most discreet matter without anyone else picking up on it except N of course. Be careful b/c you don't want to get into his game. I now know how far I can take things without them being detrimental to me but that has been learned after many years.
Take care.
mia
-
We should have a joke thread!
Good idea! Why not post them in the "anything" thread?
-
She was very ill at the time and she said people would pray for her to heal, and their prayers would make things worse because they were not seeing her as well, only ill.
See the goal as already accomplished. This seems to be the rule.
This makes a lot of sense to me. I am a Christian, but I am very hesitant about getting others to pray for me, especially in specific terms, because it is often about what they want to say, and prescribe, for me, rather than about what I need, or even what God might want for me. I have been on Christian sites but rarely say anything about my health, in case I get lots of prayer, which I would find oppressive, to be honest.
Similarly, if I pray for others I do not use words. I light a candle and then visualise the person in my mind surrounded by light, and safe. From then on it is up to God what happens as a result, but I would not like to start making a wish-list for anyone. Very dangerous thing to try to do, imo.
-
"Whatsoever things are lovely...
think on these things."
Philippians 4:8
"Keep your face to the sunshine
and you cannot see the shaddow."
Helen Keller
"Even if I knew that tomorrow
the world would go to pieces,
I would still plant my apple tree."
Martin Luther
Just a few quotes I like. GFN
-
Guest-Look up Dr. David Hawkins. He has done decades of research with "Kinesiology". The book title is Power vs Force. He has even set up a rating scale to calibrate a myriad of emotions and thoughts and actions. You might be interested to know that the wag of a dog's tail and the purr of a cat calibrate higher than most humans normally operate. Seems these pets are bringing us some lessons concerning unconditional love.
-
Phillip: well that makes sense!!! I have heard that animal's vibration levels are similar to the earth's, and much slower than ours.
What I know is that when I meditate, (or do anything for that matter) I end up with a dog under each hand/arm. Domestic animals are learning from us, I believe...that's why they are so darn happy to see us...(teach us something!). And we learn so much from them!
Long day, stress filled....doesn't matter to my dogs...."who cares about your rotton day...I'm so happy RIGHT NOW."
Yup, those pups know how to BE HERE NOW.
I once read a kid's book (have not been able to find it again for years) about a boy who wishes his dog could talk...he gets his wish and is sorely dissapointed, as all the dog will discuss is FOOD! Hilarious concept.
-
MUM-Yet we hear these stories all the time about pets who are lost thousands of miles from home and find their way back to the loving family that misses them.
My sister is a vet. I have lived above her clinic for the past 19 years. I have learned that the love we give is interchangable. It does not matter who or what one loves, just that one loves. I believe that all of creation responds to this energy and brings it back to us.
I had a cat years ago that had bad glaucoma. Eventually the cat had to have both eyes removed. The sockets were sewn shut. As he was losing his sight he was memorizing the apartment layout. He used to walk around on the roof outside just like before and jump off furniture to the floor. He taught me faith and courage. Not a small thing for a "dumb" animal huh?
-
Dear miaxo, and everyone else....
Here is another excellent site, that is the caliber of this site, loving, supportive, informative, etc, only difference is, it is a chat room for Panic/Anxiety disorder. I go there sometimes frequently, when I suffer from panic disorder or anxiety. even ptsd. (I think the voiceless will find their voices here, and people love to help and are very friendly. Put it into your bookmarks and go there whenever you feel the need or desire:
http://panicdisorder.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://members.shaw.ca/kar%2Dkay/index.html
Naomi
(also known as Wispery)
-
I asked my friend years ago to tell me in one paragraph, what this reality was all about from her perspective. Just to set this up a bit, I have seen her with 20 crows circling around her and cawing, while she just raised her hands up to the sky and grinned. I have seen her experienced her reading my mind. She taught me to hear the tones that people send with their thought. I have seen her twice, after doing hands on energy work with her left hand black from what she picked up. Once she washed it off with water, the other time she shook it off with a flick. anyway, in answer to my question to her, she gave it to me in one word. The word is "THOUGHT".
Control your thoughts
and you control your emotions
Control your emotions
and you control your habits
Control your habits
and you control your character
Control your character
and you control your destiny
She has shown me the MAGIC of thought. If it is true that we are co-creators, what are we doing with that POWER? A reasonable question I think.
-
Here's a good question for you...Phillip.
Since it is said that we create our own realities....what about, say. those people in africa and other third world countries where they have no food...no place to sleep on but a hard dirt floor...no clean water from which to drink, their water contaminated with bacteria and other dangerous unhealthy things, like where people defacte and pee in the water in the same place people are forced to collect their drinking water, where they might only be able to get a ration of food (if that) for three months at a time, a little bit of sugar, some rice and beans and flour...and they do not even know where from or when they will ever eat again....people dying from these harsh conditions, of colera, malaria, aids...etc.
How can those poor people be creating their own reality? They were born into that from which there is no escape.
I anticipate your answer...
-
A few days ago a friend at work was listening to a conversation about the starving people in Somalia and Ethiopia. He said in a rather emphatic voice,"What are these people doing trying to survive in a desert, or a wasteland with no food and unlivable conditions? Why is it that a person can come out of the worst situation in this country even, and find a way to improve his situation and his families'? Why would a woman stay in a abusive marriage, when even her children were jeopardized? Why would a man stay with a woman, who was cheating on him, disrespecting the relationship, and him?
Why do the starving of this world settle for less than basic requirements to sustain life?
Why did the Jews during WWII passively walk into the gas chambers?
Why is it that people settle?
My answer is FEAR.
-
Fear? These third world countris of people have no way to get out of the country they are in. They would have to find a way to come to America or some other rich country that would take them in.
Are you suggesting that everyone that lives in those deparately poor nations should all be evacuated to our rich countries? Would our governments let the millions and millions of people just flood in?
I do not understand how the rich can live so wealthily, and yet there is not enough money given to help those poor countries. They have organizations like Unicef, The Red Cross, etc, and they offer people to adopt a child (not literally, just pay something like 20 dollars a month to help a child..) which then becomes your "foster" child, and they say that is enough money to bring that child food, clothing, medicine, and education.
I think that all of the rich people should keep a few million for themselves, (that's more than anyone could ever truly need to survive in this life) and give the rest to a good charity, or donate to a worthy cause and to another desparate country. Many people simply have far more than they could ever need, but they just keep on making millions of dollars every year, and just keep getting richer, knowing that while their bank account just keeps getting fatter and fatter, there afre deparately poor people in this world who need help.
I understand, I think, what you are saying. Why don't those suffering people in such tragic conditions just get somewhere where life is bountiful and rich, are you saying that those people have a choice, those billions of people that are starving and have no way to get out? Are you saying that they could just all get up and walk out of their country to one that is rich?
-
Or die trying.
-
I think that is exactly what they are doing. Dying. Our rich countries won't let them all in. That is why so many are smuggled into our rich countries.
-
Wispery,
Please forgive me for jumping in where you were having a dialogue with someone else. I just naturally love these kinds of topics & could not resist replying.
For myself, I think this notion does not entirely relate to the actual physical world.
I think we create our own emotional realities no matter the environment we are in. There are filthy rich people who seem to have it all, who are miserable inside (& they’ve created their perceptions and thought realities) enough to have taken their own lives, and smiles on the faces, and the most giving hearts & souls in so many of those people who have so little externally in other countries.
No, we cannot control (nor do all of us create- though some of us do) some of the most horrific events on the planet (starvation, genocide, dictatorship human rights abuses etc.) that happen, but we always create our own realities within these circumstances.
Nelson Mandela is one surpreme example of that, and there are many others to be found in the stories of holocaust survivors.
I don't know at all (could be wrong) but maybe Phillip was speaking more about the Western world & less harsh conditions where we are blessed enough to have so many rights & so much taken care of already, that it is so much easier for us to be able to create a more positive thought reality than it would be for others worldwide. But we don't. We complain & gripe about unbelievable things by comparison to those people in such parts of the world.
Control your thoughts
and you control your emotions
Control your emotions
and you control your habits
Control your habits
and you control your character
Control your character
and you control your destiny
She has shown me the MAGIC of thought. If it is true that we are co-creators, what are we doing with that POWER? A reasonable question I think.
Yes— thinking somewhat along these lines is excellent & very true. It’s not easy to do but any conscious emotional evolution in humankind (which is what this is a step toward) does not come without dedication & work.
BT
-
And those are the survivors. Death is pretty final, whether by starvation or by violence. During Stalin's rule of The Soviet Republic, he starved his people to create an industrial base. People were eating their own starved to death children to survive. There comes a time when one can not leave one's survival in the hands of others. The right to live is a basic human right. Or are we all just cattle?
-
Which brings me back to the original question: do we create our realities? Maybe those of us who can pick and choose and design our realities, living in such fortunate conditions, in such wealthy countries....we are free to do as we choose. We do not have to walk 8 miles a day to collect water in a jog to carry on our heads three times a day.
And when those people are dying from trying so hard, in a situation into which they were born -- as they are in the process of dying, are they STILL creating their own realities?
I think I am coming to some kind of satisfactory answer. And that is, that we CAN create our realities, in some ways more than others, and some people can not change their realities, some people can a little bit, some cannot at all, and some can completely design their own destinies. Those who have everything they need/want in this life. Those that fortunate....but some people are born into such harsh conditions, and they never find a way to get out of it, or die trying...are not as responsible for their own destiny and cannot create the reality of their choosing.
So realities can be created, but only if you have the means to create any reality you design. But some peoples realities are a thing they just have to accept.
-
Which brings me back to the original question: do we create our realities?
Just to be clear, this is exactly & only what I was replying to. I hadn't read any of the subsequent dialogue because it wasn't there before I created & posted mine.
BT
-
"No, we cannot control (nor do all of us create- though some of us do) some of the most horrific events on the planet (starvation, genocide, dictatorship human rights abuses etc.) that happen, but we always create our own realities within these circumstances. "
So as someone's fist is hitting you, or you are being beaten, you can create your own reality by consciously, deliberately say to yourself "while this person is hurting me physically, it does not hurt me mentally, emotionally I am in a wonderful place....spiritually, I gain so much from this experience...it is teaching me that violence is wrong, and I am grateful for this experience of being beaten, and I love my abuser, they are hitting me so hard and it is making me happy".
Does that make sense to you? Am I then successuly creating my own reality?
-
Bluetopaz wrote:
No, we cannot control (nor do all of us create- though some of us do) some of the most horrific events on the planet
(starvation, genocide, dictatorship human rights abuses etc.) that happen, but we always create our own realities within these
circumstances. "
Wispery wrote:
So as someone's fist is hitting you, or you are being beaten, you can create your own reality by consciously, deliberately say to
yourself "while this person is hurting me physically, it does not hurt me mentally, emotionally I am in a wonderful
place....spiritually, I gain so much from this experience...it is teaching me that violence is wrong, and I am grateful for this
experience of being beaten, and I love my abuser, they are hitting me so hard and it is making me happy".
Does that make sense to you? Am I then successuly creating my own reality?
Wow-I have no idea how you got to your train of thought from what I said. If you are being punched or beaten you take appropriate action to protect yourself. Afterwards, you take it to the authorities for action. Why ever in the world would someone say they are in a wonderful place & love their abusers (Stockholm syndrome aside for the latter) when something like that happens??
If you are interested in knowing what I am referring to better, read up on Mandella & the particular stories that are spirit inspiring, of human rights abuse survivors. They all found ways to grow stronger, more spiritual, and more peaceful within, during their plight. That is creating your own reality. And when you ask them if they hate their captors or would torture them in the way they were tortured/held, they say "no", what they would like is to somehow change that thinking and mindset that allows for it to happen in the world. But by no means did they enjoy themselves. I thought that would have been a given that needed no explanation...
BT
-
I realise it was an extreme example....that no, we cannot always create our realities...things happen beyond our control, more often than not.
-
Yes, exactly.
I'm only saying that it is what we do with whatever happens to us by uncontrolled chance many times, as you say, that is up to us/our created reality.
Best,
BT
-
The 'we co-create our reality' philosophy has been around for a while. Inevitably the questions are asked, "What about the people who get cancer?" "What about a child who's dying of leukemia?" "What about people being massacred?" "What about people with birth defects?" "What about the tsunami?" & etc.
My take on it is, there is stuff that happens that people did NOT create on their own. They can NOT change it. They did NOT contribute to it happening to them. They are INNOCENT VICTIMS and not actively making it happen to themselves. And they are often VERY BRAVE people who are facing unimaginable horrors. So "they are suffering because of fear" makes no sense. I'm a total coward and my "reality" is far superior to most of the world who are braver than I.
So flat-out I don't buy the co-creating reality deal. What I do buy is people contributing to interactions in ways that may be problematic and cause their own misery.
bunny
-
Dr. Brian Weiss, a pioneer in past-life regression therapy, relates a story about how he got into this field. He was a psychiatrist. One day he was doing some hypnosis work with a client. Out of the blue she mentioned his infant son, by nickname. She told him under hypnosis that the reason the child was born to him, was to bring him the lesson that some things science could not fix. Up to that point he considered himself to be a purely pragmatic scientist.
The woman who spoke to him under trance had no knowledge of his son, his nickname or his condition. You see, his son was born with his heart placed backwards. This occurs in 1 in 10million births and is always eventually fatal.
This is not my story, it is his. According to Weiss, the only reason for this soul to be born, was to bring him this message. The message the woman delivered to him was to propel him beyond rational science.
-
If you believe in re-incarnation, (for which there is no tangible proof...) and that we choose which life or body to be born into in a past life (or that period of time between lives to choose) then we knew before hand the hardships we would face, yet still elected to come to earth this way, in order to learn some "lesson" or what have you...so that in essense would definitely be us creating our realities beforehand, as in, we knew what we were walking into when being born into a specific body, mother, father, etc....
You would have to believe in the unprovable. I do not believe we know before hand, I do not think we live more than one life. I would have to see proof.
-
So flat-out I don't buy the co-creating reality deal.
What I do buy is people contributing to interactions in ways that may be problematic and cause their own misery.
This reminds me of the point that inner and outer realities "created" are two separate issues in not all, but many ways, which sometimes get jumbled together & cause confusion. I think it helps to differentiate them, which the above message does.
I think we are the masters of our perceptive/emotional inner reality (mindset, perceptions we choose, belief systems) in situations, which can affect our outer reality much (not all) of the time, but there are very many things about our outer reality that we don't have control over (as in "co-create"), especially, but not limited to, large scale horrific acts, maiming accidents, debilitating illnesses (not caused directly by self abusive lifestyle), other's nasty reactions & behaviors towards us without provocation.
As I already mentioned, it is ability to create our emotional/inner reality as to how we will perceive & react to whatever it is that is dished out to us externally.
But we don't always have control over what it is that is dished out to us.
On a collective level, we probably all have helped to create "world reality" or worldly dynamics in very intricate & subtle ways we wouldn't even imagine, but that is another whole ball of wax and it's after 2 am. in my neck of the woods. Right now, I am going to enjoy the reality of my warm bed! :)
BT
-
I forgot to mention that in the "co-creating reality" idea, after the moral questions are raised about innocents being punished, the REINCARNATION theory is inevitably brought up to rationalize it.
I don't buy that one either.
bunny
-
My understnading of the idea of creating our own reality is that we do so by what we decide to think, by what we keep the focus on in our minds.
I think we have complete power over that, much of the time. We can choose to believe whatever we want and we can decide to change whenever it suits us. Unless we become mentally altered, brain-washed.
I have no idea what it is to survive atrocity such as war, living in a country ruled by a heartless dictator, etc, but I have read many accounts of such, by those who have, and I find common threads among many such as:
They seemed to have kept positive thoughts in their heads as often as possible, while acting as required.
They had faith and determination to withstand and survive.
They looked ahead to victory and dreamed, fantasized about it.
They adapted to negative changes in their environment by finding mental distractions and by assuming that the awful situation would end.
I think these people did indeed create their own, more comfortable, hopeful, soothing, focussed inner realities, and by doing so they managed to put up with stuff most of us might think impossible to tolerate.
Which brings to mind another quote:
"To accomplish great things,
we must not only act but also dream,
not only plan but also believe."
Anatole France
GFN
-
Hi All,
I also could not resist this topic.
The question of how and why people persevere through really horrific living conditions is one that I've spent alot of time on. I've travelled a bit in my life and I can personally say that there was at least one time that I truly felt like kissing the ground when I returned to the U.S.
That was a life changing trip for me. To see how others survive in conditions that seemed so intolerable to me (and that country was definetly not the worst out there).
I have friends who have walked out of a country through mountainous terrain, because of the extreme government there. They knew that if they were caught, they could be killed. They did it anyway. They were the exception to the rule. Most of their people stayed.
I'm not convinced that fear was the only motivator in why the others stayed. I think alot of it is actually because of love and faith. They love the people there, the countryside, the things that they know. They have faith that if they stay and persevere, that the future can be brighter. They have faith that the hardships they endure in this life will help prepare them for the next (not reincarnation).
I think faith in a higher power is a really big key to how people deal with hardships.
I don't believe that they (or anyone else) co-created the conditions they were placed in. I do believe, as Blue Topaz mentioned, that collectively we all have the ability to change those conditions.
Peace,
Learning
-
Interesting thing we have going here. I spend most of my alone time mulling over this very thought. I believe I have created this life and these life situations and challenges. If I think my ex is responsible for my pain, then I give him power over me. I made choices....I married him in the first place...I could leave if I left my children, something I choose not to do. In my darkest days regarding things, I saw my choices as somewhere between a prison designed by my ex, with the help of the courts, and death (life without my kids). I don't see it with so much drama now, but I do see that I made a choice, and I make one every day about how I will feel.
I also think about people in such horrifying life situations as were described and what part they play, spiritually, in that.
If you ever get a chance to read anything about "Hurricane Carter", please do. He was unjustly imprisoned in racist plot and became the angriest man on the planet....but during this long imprisonment, he changed. He did get out, and he lives in Canada now. There was a movie about him not long ago, Bob Dylan wrote a song about him, and last year I read an awesome interview with him in "the Sun" magazine. He describes most people as asleep..He, like Nelson Mandella, is one of many voices for becoming concious and "awake". Ekhart Tolle mulls this over in "the Power of Now" as well. He has some great thoughts on being chase by a tiger and making choices (most of us in "pain" here are probably not in dire danger).
The fear of death drives everything. The buddist teachings offer a lot of discussion on that topic. If we were not afraid then what? Pain has us so stuck on this planet, that we collectively, agree to war, anger, jealousy, all kinds of pain expressions to "get out of it" (death/pain). What if we were not afraid of dying? What if we could manage pain or tranform it?
I am not in a life/death struggle and I have great compassion for those who are. I am not convinced however, that we know enough in this incarnation to even discern completely what role we play in making our reality, if any.
I do know, that for me, I will attempt to see what it is about while I am here. It is all here for me to learn.
There is always choice.
Here's one I've been mulling over recently:
The only reason money doesn't fall out of the sky is that there is a collective consiousness here on the planet that it will not.
-
Unknown Author:
Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
GFN