Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Stormchild on March 16, 2005, 09:43:28 AM
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Looks like a good time to start a thread about how animals have comforted us and how we have loved them in return. I won't start now, I have to run, but I'd love to see more here from Portia and Brigid and mum and October and Longtire and everyone else, pleeeeease? [more critter lovers added on edit but I know I missed some of you, i'm in a hurry]
(There's a speckled Sophie girl curled up in her little bed under my desk as I type this, with one paw holding her nose. C'mon, Sophe, my writing doesn't stink that much, does it?)
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I got my cat from the pound when he was just a kitten. While all the other kittens were only interested in biting your fingers, this kitten just wanted to be held. I put him on my shoulder and he started walking across my back from shoulder to shoulder. When I put him down, he cried and cried. I knew he was the right one for me and it felt like I found a soulmate.
When he was little, he used to sleep curled up in a ball on my chest as I sat in the recliner watching TV. Later he got very demanding :D and expects his chin and head to be rubbed whenever he feels like it. He has more personality than any other cat I've ever seen (must get that from me!). He has an amazing ability to communicate his mood and desires with his facial expression and body language. He knows when he is supposed to get his snack and meows loudly until I give it to him. Sometimes he gets confused and thinks EVERY day is snack day, though. He has the loudest purr I've ever hear. You can hear it clear across the room!
The best thing about him is that when I was in the depths of depression, he DIDN'T CARE. He came to me every day demanding his chin to be rubbed and his head scratched. He didn't care what kind of day I had or how I was feeling. He came and expressed his need, then purred loudly to let me know he was happy when I gave it to him. Talk about simplicity and directness in a relationship! He will start to purr now if I just walk into the room, even if someone else is holding him and he wasn't happy before that. He hasn't really pulled his wieght at home, and seems to think he is head of the household. But, I love him anyway.
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Thanks for starting this Stormchild. I'm sure I have a few stories to share.
He has more personality than any other cat I've ever seen (must get that from me!).
Longtire,
We should get him together with my orange tabby who I think has more personality than any cat I've ever known. He was also rescued from the Humane Society (as were all my cats) as a kitten. When he was little, he would play hide and seek with my son. I eventually had to get him a playmate because he tormented my poor 10-year-old English Setter and chewed on her lips (and then would curl up next to her belly to sleep). We have pictures of him inside of any kind of box, playhouse, cabinet, etc., that he could fit into, with his paws batting outside the enclosure.
He senses my needing of a friend and curls up in my lap whenever its available. He also rules the roost around here at least where the cats are concerned and he has me as a member of his well-trained staff. (dogs have owners, cats have staff!) He is not at all shy about expressing his desire for food or attention and will pull on your arm until you pet him.
My only female cat idolizes him and will sleep as close to him as she can get as long as he will allow for it. He is more tolerant of her in his older age, but still has to occasionally put her in her place (probably a real N).
Like Mum mentioned in the other thread, I am one of those who cannot see a stray domestic animal without stopping to rescue it. Otherwise I would spend the rest of the day worrying that something bad would happen.
I never met a puppy or kitten that I didn't like and want to bring home.
I'll quit now and let someone else "talk."
Brigid
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(Does anyone else get paranoid with saying "real" names, even of pets or real locations etc? Is it because I've been dragged through the mud in court....or that I think my ex will latch on to this site and ruin it for me? That said....I feel funny telling animal names. forgive me)
It's tough for us animal lovers to pick out just one favorite animal experience to tell...they happen all day every day!
So instead: a bit of a remembrance "list"
My childhood collie/shep: He was the tenth child as far as I was concerned. A year younger than me, he lived til age 15...he had epilepsy and I found him once at the corner drugstore surrounded by kids while having a siezure. When it was over, he sure looked relieved to see me... loyal doesn't even describe my first best friend. Hated all men, except my dad (early trauma?).
My first "child": a female golden retriever: Lovely, sweet, bossy girl. Like all goldens, orally fixated. Had to remove all the water spigots or she would turn them on and play in water and mud all day (she never figured out to turn them off! We live in the DESERT for goodness sake!) Lived til she was 13,
I carried her in a sling around her middle for the last 10 months of her life when her back end became paralyzed. (the doggy wheelchair I bought scared her too much).
When I had my son, I stayed home a year, and above dog was so upset I went back to work that she developed bad habits (jumping into my truck and peeing on the seat upon removal, throwing herself in front of the garden gate and not moving out of my way....)...so I got her a buddy. Another golden (mixed with something larger). She bossed him around, even though he was huge (after you, dear, whatever you say, dear). I worried that he wouldn't be as good with the baby as the female, but the first day home from the pound, he allowed my son to cover him with towels and lay on him for a nap. This dog used to try and catch balls with his paws! He died at six when a hack vet over anesthetized him during a routine teeth cleaning (three other people I know had the same thing happen....same vet).
We got another pal for our female golden... and I still have him. Pound dog, but sure looks like a pure bred flat coated retriever (a long haired black retriever). The sweetest boy on the planet. Mellow always (except that time he tore apart my mattress when he was a pup). He performed on stage in a dance concert once and was pretty good. He "talks" and now that he is nine, pretty much cuddles all the time (except when keeping below dog in line)..Just the best dog ever.
When we finally lost our female golden, above black boy was pretty sad, I thought, so after a year we got our other current black boy, who looks just like him, except for a shorter snout, a double coat (I am told that gets him out of the pure bred catagory...like I care) and an obsessive compulsion for spots of light or shadow and television animals. He needs a job (I think he may be part border collie....that might explain). He fetches mail and the paper (he taught himself).
So, except for an occasional gerbil the kids bring home from science class (we had one for almost FOUR years.....) those are my furry, "never go to school or dress or feed themselves", children.
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Great things about animals:
No college tuition to save for
no arguments over tattoos and/or body piercing and/or goth makeup, spiked Mohawks, etc. (studded leather collars, though, another story!)
no worries about gangs (packs, yes, but not gangs)
catnip isn't an illegal substance
they may wear fur, but if so they grow it themselves
when you say, Sit! Stay! they may actually OBEY you. :D :D
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Stormchild,
No
spiked Mohawks
Speak for yourself. My English Setter has not been groomed for awhile so he is sporting quite a lovely mohawk at the moment. He fortunately does not have access to the gel to give it a pointy top, but it sprouts off his head just the same. That is on my to do list for this week (to give him a haircut that is).
Brigid
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Hi Stormchild and everyone. I’ve never chosen to have an animal at my own home. There were cats at the ‘parental home’ but I don’t feel it’s fair to have anyone where I live – tiny house, big fast roads. I collect stray dogs here, a lovely golden retriever came up one day, three small happy dogs bounded up once and started drinking from the bird bowl on the lawn, and a beautiful Alsatian arrived one night – lovely dog, I had no hesitation in getting right down to his face to talk to him. All these dogs went to the local dog warden within hours and I didn’t hear from any of the owners to say thanks for taking my dog off the streets. And they say we’re the higher species.
I like the wild visitors: four robins currently, a sparrow-hawk, far too many blackbirds, grey squirrels, hedgehogs. If I lived in the country and had enough room, I’d love to live with about five cats, two dogs, two pigs, maybe goats, a few chickens. Not sure what that would do to my eating habits! Would I get to killing my own food, or turn vegetarian? I really don’t know, could go either way I guess!
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Portia: my bet: you'd be a vegetarian. I taught in a semi rural area once. One of my 7th graders was crying....she told her her 4H steer won best in show at the county fair. I didn't understand: it actually meant her steer that she hand raised as a pet, would now be butchered and advertised as prime meat in the newspaper advertisements (it happens each year here..." Miss Brody's Buddy", winner of this years's Fair, at $4 a lb for prime cuts")
NO lie!!
Reason # 345 not to eat meat. (for me....but I pass no judgement on those who do...to each his own, IMO)
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Portia: my bet: you'd be a vegetarian. I taught in a semi rural area once. One of my 7th graders was crying....she told her her 4H steer won best in show at the county fair. I didn't understand: it actually meant her steer that she hand raised as a pet, would now be butchered and advertised as prime meat in the newspaper advertisements (it happens each year here..." Miss Brody's Buddy", winner of this years's Fair, at $4 a lb for prime cuts")
NO lie!!
Reason # 345 not to eat meat. (for me....but I pass no judgement on those who do...to each his own, IMO)
Oh how horrible, my god that poor animal, that poor traumatized girl, how can she ever proudly display any creature she loves and has cared for again? [on edit: and how can she ever trust another adult, ever, to keep her loved ones SAFE?]
...I am not a vegetarian... I wish I were... when I exclude meat from my diet, I "fail to thrive" and become quite ill eventually. A paramedic I know (nice person, went to FL as a volunteer after the hurricanes) thinks it's a metabolic thing, my body can't make something I need, and meat's where I get my 'stock' from. So I try to do the Native American and !Kung thing, whenever I eat meat I thank the animal who sacrificed its life for me. That helps some, but it still bothers me. A lot, sometimes.
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This thread reminded me of something: my mother hates animals, all animals, but especially cats. Me I love all animals (well not spiders and mosquitoes so much, or any insects really, but I don't hate them). Has anyoen else noticed this in their N? I suppose having no empathy and no love they just don't see the point of them. Oh, I just remembered something my mother used to say about animals: "they are like children that never grow up". Concidering how she feels about animals, it sure says a lot about what she thinks of children!
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Actually, sleepyhead: my second husband loves dogs and he says: way better than children (what a jerk, I have kids) But he had an Airedale who absolutely adored him....in one way, she was his interesting "arm candy" when a woman wasn't there...they are interesting dogs, but not horribly affectionate. My children and I were the ones who comforted her when she was dying, he would not even come home (2 hours away) because it would have screwed up a performance he was to do the next day. She died without him (to his regret).
My N friend also has an Airedale. Hmmmm, yet, and this may be contradictory: those same people HATE cats. HATE them. Are cats just not adoring enough? Makes sense to me (I can't have cats, allergies)....cats, like children, need to be appreiciated for who they are...not what they will do for you. Dogs tend to accept almost any attitude from humans and adore you almost no matter what.
My first husband and father of my kids "tolerates" dogs, but HATES cats.
I mean HATES them.
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I think Ns hate cats because they are more difficult to 'psych out' in some ways than dogs.
Dogs are pack animals, so they respond very quickly to approval vs. disapproval, and Ns can pull their strings, poor puppies. This makes dogs so wonderful for families with young children - and so helpful as Seeing Eyes and so on. They need that appreciation, they need that love, they will tolerate the torments of hell to get it. God love them for their loyalty.
Cats are pride animals (nice pun there too) - they do associate in groups but more independently, the alpha thing is less strong, and they are more likely to avoid someone who isn't consistently loving, because going it alone if you have to is easier for cats than dogs. On the other hand, if loved and respected, cats bond to you like Crazy Glue. Which would also enrage an N, seeing as they probably can't get a bond like that.
[But one of my cats is as good as a Seeing Eye, she comes and yells at me whenever the kettle is boiling, or I'm not answering a ringing phone - she knows what's supposed to happen and she worries when it doesn't. Bright little thing. God-gift!]
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Comment from Sleepyhead's mother regarding pets:
they are like children that never grow up"
Isn't how many of us describe the N's in our lives? Just a thought.
Brigid
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Good one Brigid - they can't handle the competition, even with house cats. :shock: :shock: :D :D
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Reading these reminds me of something. My brother has a dog, and it bites - mostly play, but it needs some kind of training, imo. It is still a puppy, really, about five or six months, but even so ...
Anyway, last time my Nmum visited, it bit her hand. Don't laugh!!!
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
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stormchild
thanks for the thread.
Growing up I had a beautiful Golden Retriever. She was so sweet and loyal. Our family was so torn up when she died that we had a funeral and burial for her. Casket and all. My older brother always thought we were a bit looney for doing so. But we were all very emotionally attached to her. Boy, did we cry and cry.
I used to have a Black Lab that I rescued from the pound. She had been abused by the previous owner and always exhibited odd behaviors and was aggressive. Unfortunately, on two separate occasions she went after the children (I had her for four years b/f the kids were born) and the second time she caused my daughter to get five stitches. Needless to say I was forced to give her away. Thankfully, I was able to give her to a good friend's Mom who lived alone and wanted a companion. Well, they became best of friends and I was able to still visit her. My Mom and I used to take her Easter baskets and Christmas gifts but she has since passed.
Speaking of dogs, my H said that his dog was his best friend growing up and he even said that he probably wouldn't have made it through adolescence without him. H can remember burying his head into his dog and sobbing when he had a particularly awful day in high school.
H is trying to talk me into getting a dog but I have yet to give in. Right now we have a parrot (H's idea). I never would have thought in a million years that I would find a bird to be such a lovely addition to the family. He has quite the personality and is a handsome little devil. He talks up a storm and is a great companion. He is potty trained (will only *go* in his cage) and plays on the floor with the kids (legos, pushes matchbox cars with his beak). I love him. Who would have thought!?
Mia
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Lot's of nice stories here. Thanks for starting this thread!!
My pets are my friends....no wait a minute....they are more like family members. Especially my older dog, who has been with us for almost 9years now. She is very protective and keen. She has such a fun personality---and she is still very much like a puppy, even at her age, which is considered "senior". She asks for affection and gives it freely and most of all....stays very near whenever she sences anyone in our family is upset. I would not want to hurt me because I think she would become violent. I am the human who mainly raised and trained her. She's a mutt that looks like a pure bred German Sheppard (and so many people say that she is one of the most beautiful they have ever seen). She thinks she is a movie star and loves posing for photos, especially if we put sunglasses on her!! 8)
I am so attached to her that I was worried that I might have a real nasty break down when she goes (as big dogs like her don't usually live much past 10 or 12 years old). So I was lucky enough to find another pup to add to our family. This puppy is like a barrel full of vinegar!! Spunky and sharp!! She is extremely cute and very intelligent. My older dog has taken well to her and now they are play mates. My older dog is quick to step in to defend her....if any other dog visits or happens around. The two of them are fun to watch interacting and both are very loving animals.
I can hardly wait to see the two of them curled up together, asleep. They are getting closer to that, every day.
I would be very sad to be without them. They are great company and wonderful companions. Over the years I have had many dogs and cats. I have found that each have their own unique personality and all have added joy to my life. I feel lucky to be able to have the priviledge of knowing them and caring for them. And I am extremely greatful for what they have given back 10 fold to me.
GFN
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Anyone here ever hear of 'wolf-children'? Mowgli in Kipling's Jungle Book was one... apparently there really have been some. Strayed or orphaned children found and raised by wolves.
I think I'm a cat-child. I was really more parented by a cat than by either my Nmom or Edad (E for Enabler)... and throughout my childhood my Nmom must have known this because she frequently expressed hatred for the family cats (never dogs) and did a lot of things that I now realize were intended to harm or indirectly kill my cat in particular.
Such as, every morning, letting the cat out when (a) my mother knew she (the cat) would follow me to the school bus stop, (b) there were hot-rodding jerks all over the neighborhood and pets did get killed, and (c) both I and my Edad had repeatedly asked my mother NOT TO DO THIS. So, every morning, I left for the bus stop, my evil B**** mother let my cat out, my cat would run after me meowing, I'd pick her up and bring her home, I'd miss the bus, and my dad would drive me to school. After a while he just took me to school, period. But he couldn't collect me, so I varied my route home from the bus stop every afternoon. That way my cat wouldn't learn to go there and wait for me.
But when I got home! We'd play tag (chase each other around the outside of the house), and hiding games, and if she couldn't find me she had a unique call she'd make. I knew better than to stay hiding if I heard that sound, because she was distressed. In the evening she'd go into my room and stand and yell, because she knew I should be doing homework... at least, she knew I should be at my desk doing something. And it was she who knew my bedtime, and she who fell asleep on my bed, night after night, with her little kitty head tucked into my upturned palm. I fell asleep to a purr lullaby.
When I had severe strep throat, she never left me except to eat and visit the kitty loo. [Later on, two other kitties kept me from dying from pneumonia in much the same way.] I'd wake up to find her watching over me, like a little sphinx on my pillow.
Despite my Nmom's efforts, the kitty lived to a ripe old age, and when we were both still very young she had one litter of kittens (and moved them into my room as soon as they were old enough to move - and had me babysitting them - what a gift of trust!)
I've gone to some lengths for cats too - it's not all one sided. Years after this kitty had passed away, I rescued two feral kittens by feeding them closer and closer to my apt., then just inside the door, then across the living room [shut the door, voila, pets!] - it took six weeks of careful work after that to tame them, but then we belonged to each other for seventeen years, and I put off taking a dream job overseas until I knew for sure I could buy their cat food there. They went with me. It was a package deal. And they came back with me too. These are the ones who saved me from pneumonia. And when they became terminally ill, I cared for them and sat with them and held them and sang to them and helped them fight as long as they found enjoyment in their lives and wanted to continue fighting, and then held them close as they went peacefully to sleep. [And was devastated, and a zombie, for months afterwards.]
From time to time I seem to lose my ability to connect with people. I'll watch people interact and it seems as though there's a plate glass window between us - had this pretty much all weekend, and hated it. But thank God, that glass wall never goes up with cats. No matter how isolated and cut off I feel, my cats are always warmth and light.
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Hiya Stormchild, try http://www.feralchildren.com/en/index.php
I saw a tv prog on I think it was some children in the Ukraine. They learn 100 words maximum vocabulary after being found. Very sad.
Cats. Some Ns have great relationships with cats. It’s not a barometer of N-ism, please believe me. Wait until you’ve been asked to talk to a cat down the telephone and have to listen to purring for a few minutes…it’s creepy. :?
Your relationship with cats sounds amazing Stormchild. I guess I never let myself become very close to animals (or many people). I don’t like the idea of animals being dependent upon me. I don’t connect with people out there very much. But then I don’t want to connect with 99.9% of them! Do you? Are you an extravert? You sure connect here :D
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I don’t connect with people out there very much. But then I don’t want to connect with 99.9% of them! Do you? Are you an extravert? You sure connect here :D
Thanks Portia :oops:
I was a very shy and introverted child, then a very friendly and outgoing teen-twenties-thirties, then I was very severely bullied and harmed in two workplaces one after another by monster sociopath Ns, just at the same time that I was going through a bunch of middle age life losses (deaths, deaths, loss of fertility, deaths, you know the drill).
Now I am an extremely introverted shy person again.
I'm convinced that the sociopaths came after me deliberately in both cases and I'm just as convinced that it was because I was friendly, outgoing, didn't bother with cliques, and damned good at my job... and they probably smelled blood, i.e. my ongoing losses.
So in a way I guess the bastards won, because I'm no longer the person they attacked. But that person still lives in me, and when I feel safe (which is not very often) she comes out to play. These days, though, most of the time I feel a lot the way you describe - most people I encounter are either smoldering or flaming Ns, this particular area attracts them like dung attracts flies, so the safest assumption is that a stranger is just a thug you haven't met. :? :lol: :lol:
thanks for cheering me up - I've felt kind of disconnected lately, wondering how on earth I can help anyone here without getting too much into my own (parallel, validating, relevant, but not the main point!) experiences.
rolls up sleeves, takes deep breath. :roll:
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Hi Stormy,
I've felt kind of disconnected lately, wondering how on earth I can help anyone here without getting too much into my own (parallel, validating, relevant, but not the main point!) experiences.
Do you not want to get into them because it is painful or because you don't think anyone wants to hear them?
If its the latter you are way wrong. That is what helps me more than anything; knowing I am hearing from someone with so much experience with the same thing.
If its the former then you are in my prayers; well you're in them anyway, but you know what I mean.
I always hate to hear when somone is feeling isolated or disconnected in this forum because of the limitations of cyberspace. You can't just go over to someone's house and physically sit down for a talk.
Do you think you are recovering your old personality or are you kind of stuck where you are at? You display a wonderful personality here, I can tell you. :D
(((((Stormy)))))
mudpuppy
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Hi Stormy,
I've felt kind of disconnected lately, wondering how on earth I can help anyone here without getting too much into my own (parallel, validating, relevant, but not the main point!) experiences.
Do you not want to get into them because it is painful or because you don't think anyone wants to hear them?
Kinda sorta. Yes, painful, but mostly that I don't want to get going on my own stuff so much that the other person and their needs get lost. Hermit Syndrome, I call that. Where you've been in the desert for 20 years all by yourself, and someone says hello to you, and you talk nonstop to the poor soul for four days. :shock: :oops: :D
Ns do that. :shock: :oops: :D
'Druther starve. :shock: :oops:
Not quite sure what the constructive option is. Although I notice you other folks seem to have the balance pretty well struck, most places. So the thing for me to do is watch and learn, probably. :D
& thanks for the compliment - but I think I was a bit too exuberant before, and not aware enough that there are indeed monsters in this world, and mostly they are other people. :( :( :( Trying to find a point of balance there too.
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Stormy: Don't you think you should tell your story to give the rest of us a break from talking about ourselves all the time? :wink: I would very much like to hear more of your story. After all, isn't that why we're here? But only if you want to of course, I would hate for you to feel any pressure here of all places!
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Stormy,
Yes, painful, but mostly that I don't want to get going on my own stuff so much that the other person and their needs get lost.
Ecclesiastes.....a time to keep silence and a time to speak....
Everybody has a different role at different times. Sometimes we need to help others; sometimes we need others to help us.
I guarantee no one here would object to you letting go with a good long rant. :D
mud
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I would very much like to hear more of your story. After all, isn't that why we're here? But only if you want to of course, I would hate for you to feel any pressure here of all places!
Hi Sleepy
I have been, sort of in dribs and drabs on the public board :D :D and that is partly because I'm not sure anyone could believe it if I tried to put the whole thing in one place at once. :? I didn't even have to live it at that high a concentration... but I'm working on getting my courage up.
Another thing is that I have been spared overtly physical traumas for the most part. No battering thru most of my childhood or any of my adulthood, no other types of assault thank God. But that's largely because I run like hell as soon as I smell that on the wind. So there's been a lot of psychological trauma, deprivation, impoverishment, a recurrent need to flee... I really identify more with war refugees and Auschwitz survivors than anyone else.
Also - I'm reluctant to start a thread when there are several new ones started, because that feels like an Nish thing to do. [Attention grabbing. Competing. Not good.]
Anyway; we're here to speak the truth to each other in love, and to learn from one another, and to bear one another's burdens while we each carry our own load. And I sure see that going on here, all around me. Thanks for your latest help with mine!
Hugs
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Hi Stormchild:
Also - I'm reluctant to start a thread when there are several new ones started, because that feels like an Nish thing to do. [Attention grabbing. Competing. Not good.]
Me too. And then when I do start one, I can't seem to put my GFN to it.
Silly eh? :oops:
Take your time and speak when you want to and feel comfy.
Big hug to you, just because:
(((((((Stormchild))))))
GFN
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Heck, Stormy, just go for it. It's not Nish. The afraid of posting, however is N victimish. I suffer from that as well, but it doesn't seem to really shut me up! Hopefully, you aren't thinking I am Nish because of it??? It's ok if you do, I know I'm not an N (why, because now I am nervous and thinking I may sound obnoxious). Anyway, I am just encouraging you to let it out, because we all do, and I think it's a safe place to do that. Really safe.......no one will see you at work the next day and snub you!!!
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Actually, mum, I was **just now** thinking how loving you are, right before I saw this post was up and came over to look. [Added on edit: really, truly, I was.]
The care and thought that goes into your posts and your concern for people, your willingness to invest time here. Anti-Nish to the Nth degree! :D :lol: :lol: (sorry, it's tired and I'm getting late)
Same for you too, GFN, mud, Sleepy.
(((everybody)))
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wow, Stormy, you made my day. Ever since I was a child, I wanted to comfort people and help them feel joy. (kind of got me in trouble....N's are very attracted to that). I am glad you felt something good from me in cyberspace. thanks.
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mum, it's doggerel, but it's sweet doggerel, and, uh, I think you'll understand why I put it here.
"The House by the Side of the Road
There are hermit souls that live withdrawn in the place of their self-content;
There are souls like stars, that dwell apart in a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths where highways never ran;
But let me live by the side of the road and be a friend to man.
Let me live in a house by the side of the road where the race of men go by;
The men who are good and the men who are bad, as good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner's seat nor hurl the cynic's ban;
Let me live in a house by the side of the road and be a friend to man.
I see from my house by the side of the road, by the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope, the men who are faint with strife.
But I turn not away from their smiles and tears - both parts of an infinite plan;
Let me live in a house by the side of the road, and be a friend to man.
I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead and mountains of wearisome height;
That the road passes on through the long afternoon, and stretches away to the night.
And still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice, and weep with the strangers that moan;
Nor live in my house by the side of the road like a man who dwells alone.
Let me live in my house by the side of the road where the race of men go by;
They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong, wise, foolish - so am I.
Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat or hurl the cynic's ban?
Let me live in my house by the side of the road and be a friend to man.
by Sam Walter Foss
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Stormy,
I had to push my big orange tabby out of my lap in order to type this. I'm sure he'll be back again in a few.
I very much understand the reluctance to start a thread. I don't think of it as being nish, but just that others probably wouldn't be that interested in what I have to say. Too many years of being criticized for my opinion on things, I guess. I do love to respond to other people's questions and concerns, however, and enjoy making others feel welcome.
I sense you have been through a very difficult situation and when you are ready to share some or all of it, we will be here to listen. Don't ever think those thoughts would not be welcome. Everyone has something to share and for others to learn from. You never know whose heart you may be touching.
Brigid
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Hiya Stormchild
but I think I was a bit too exuberant before,
you strike me as a fun exuberant extravert who likes people and wants to be with people. :D You are an E in personality type terms? http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp I like exuberance but not sure I can do it, no, I know I can't do it in the way others can. Differences.
and not aware enough that there are indeed monsters in this world, and mostly they are other people.
Always other people! Yes? But, they're people too. We're all human, even those I call inhuman at times. Unless there's something I don't know yet.... :shock: :D take care
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Hi all:
Wow! Stormchild!
What a lovely poem: "The house by the side of the road".
I copied and saved it to share later.
Thankyou for posting it.
GFN
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Hey GFN, welcome back (belatedly)
Glad you liked Mr. Foss's poem. I don't know much about the author -- he was American, a journalist and editor, mid to late 1800s.
But do you remember Charles Kuralt's human interest series (radio, then TV) called "On the Road"? He used to travel the back roads all over the country and report on ordinary people doing extraordinary things. He used this poem in a story about a woman who did just that - she lived in a house by the side of the road, and opened her kitchen to anyone in need of a good hot meal, pay what you can, if you can, or nothing.
Watching Mum on the board last night, kind of like a cyber Florence Nightingale (going here then there, late in the evening, with love and thoughtfulness) and thinking about her, then about everyone here who gives that way, the poem just came back and I could hear him reading it. Has to be twenty years ago! So I Googled it, and there you are.
((GFN))
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Hi Stormchild:
Thanks for the welcome back and the hug.
What a sweet soul you are to say the nice things you do and to notice such goodness.
It takes one to know one. :D
GFN
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You are an E in personality type terms? http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp I like exuberance but not sure I can do it, no, I know I can't do it in the way others can. Differences.
Believe it or not, INFJ, 56-38-12-44.
I'll have to try this again nearer the end of my hiatus, and see if my emotional state affects it much. I think a lot of me has been shoved under a rock, lately.
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Stormy,
I had to push my big orange tabby out of my lap in order to type this. I'm sure he'll be back again in a few..... Everyone has something to share and for others to learn from. You never know whose heart you may be touching.
Thanks Brigid... for the encouragement and also for the mental image of someone else having a big orange tabby in their lap.
Mine's a girl... and I had another red girl before her, one of those feral kittens I posted about before. This one's a Japanese bobtail rescue kitty. No tail at all, just a little round bud like a bunny. She's a clown, a real joker, and when she runs, she bounds, and her backside bounces up higher than her head. Again, like a bunny. Cute, funny, and very dear.
I think what I'll do is work on a post offline, and when I have something that really sums up what I've experienced and how it's affected me, I'll put it up. Thanks again for the encouragement.
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((((((Stormchild)))))) I just popped back to make sure I hadn’t upset anyone. Oh yeah, I do that! :oops: If that’s accurate, your INFJ result (and it’s only an entertainment-type test) you’re a guardian counsellor type I think? “champion of the oppressed and downtrodden”? Wonderful :D and that’s your exuberance with people here, wanting to help and yet not wanting to hog the board or whatever you said? Where did I read that yesterday...., it was a quote from Pema Chodron (thanks Mum):
“We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves.”
I loved that. By telling your story, you help others, it is true.
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Stormchild: thank you so much for posting that poem. It has such simplicity and power, and I envisioned my late father reading it. He was that man by the side of the road. He always said "keep the faith" and he didn't mean HIS way (he was Catholic)....he just knew what got him by, and it was love and the faith that love would never abandon him. I was so blessed in being his daughter.
Portia: is that a Pema quote? I'm not sure I posted it (thanks for the nod anyway) but it very well sounds like her! She's on the cover of the latest Shambala Sun Magazine, and her article is "The Courage to do Nothing.... it's the antidote for anger and other strong emotions" It's very interesting and thought provoking.
If indeed it works this way: In my next life, I would like to come back as a Buddhist nun....my sister wants to be a tall black woman with a fantastic voice... However, I may end up a cockroach....or in the clouds throwing a stick for my late dogs......who knows????
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Hiya Mum, yes that's a Pema quote, found it in some women's history site I think. I like her words very much. Speaking of "The Courage to do Nothing" maybe I did this earlier today when I had a bitter response, a personal criticism, to a little nag I made. Instead of retaliating, I was calm and agreed with the response. It was a good feeling, not reacting and not wanting to react (although my emotions said 'under attack!' I let them go). However, I don't like that bitterness underneath the surface. I dunno. Would I have said that..I don't know any more. Odd. Groundless again! Without my stupid emotions, who am I? Does it matter? :D
I want to 'come back' as an albatross, no question about it, gliding over the Antarctic waters in all weathers, must remember not to catch tuna behind one of those human boats fishing with lines though. They may be dolphin friendly but they drown a load of albatrosses which is sad. About killing or being a veggie, I decided I'd eat animals that die naturally (why waste the protein?) but I don't think I'd kill for food unless there wasn't any other food. Could I look at a live chicken and think, hmmm, I fancy chicken tonite? Society makes these decisions fade out, if we had to face them in the supermarkets, we'd be a lot healthier and kinder both to each other and to animals (so long as we had enough to eat)....whoah I better stop there for now :D
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I Has anyoen else noticed this in their N? I suppose having no empathy and no love they just don't see the point of them.
I have. The ex said he never could understand "the purpose" of having pets. The don't "Do anything" and should be left free in the wild to do their thing. Oh, and fixing them was "against nature" and taking away their right to breed. (Just cuz he likes to breed with every available chick).
Strangly though, he really liked my cat. But she's an exotic breed, white hair, blue eyes. If she was your average house cat, she'd be worthless too.
He mentioned growing up their mother never allowed them to have any pets, not even a goldfish. I grew up on a farm, so I love animals, and he never had that pleasurable experience. (And unconditional love from your pet)
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