Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: GFN on April 05, 2005, 09:50:36 AM
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One of the things that has happened to me, since I've been visiting this board, is that I have become aware of my dreams (or some might say--began dreaming more often).
Before coming here, it has been years since I have remembered a dream (very rarely, at least). Now.....I often wake up remembering what I dreamed and find myself thinking about it. It seems this board has looooosed something in my brain and I'm hoping this is a good thing. :shock:
It might be interesting to consider eachother's dreams? Do you notice a difference in frequency, vividness, or weirdness of your dreams, since coming to this board?
Last night........I dreamed my parents were mortgage brokers, who also ran a landscaping company on the side. They would do outdoor work in an area and somehow find out who was having trouble making their mortgage payments. Then they would talk those people into having landscaping done, that they could not afford to pay for, and somehow take possession of those people's properties. Finally, my parents would set up a bogus mortgage, on those properties, and some other unsuspecting family would end up in their debt and eventually unable to pay. My parents were getting richer and richer. Then I woke up.
Any thoughts on this strange dream? I find it extremely confusing.
GFN
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GFN,
I can virtually never remember my own dreams, even after finding this board, so I will be unable to contribute to your thread in that way, sorry.
As to your dream, Its pretty tough to say what it means, as I have no clue what your parents were really like or what your relationship was to them.
I'm not going to ask you a whole series of questions about your family that you may not be comfortable in discussing, so I am not too sure why I even posted, except to say, Hi GFN. Good morning. :)
Maybe you are giving yourself an opportunity to talk about something that you have been wanting to discuss?
Or maybe you just want to go out and do some gardening. :wink:
I'm sure you have found this post most helpful. :roll: Glad to be of service.
:oops:
mudpup
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Last night........I dreamed my parents were mortgage brokers, who also ran a landscaping company on the side. They would do outdoor work in an area and somehow find out who was having trouble making their mortgage payments. Then they would talk those people into having landscaping done, that they could not afford to pay for, and somehow take possession of those people's properties. Finally, my parents would set up a bogus mortgage, on those properties, and some other unsuspecting family would end up in their debt and eventually unable to pay. My parents were getting richer and richer. Then I woke up.
I don't know if this is about your parents or not, but it seems your unconscious feels you've been cheated, exploited, manipulated and intruded upon. The outdoor work that leads to finding out about the indoor financial problems seems significant. Very interesting dream!
I've been having great dreams lately but I can't remember a single one of them. If I do, I will report back.
bunny
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I always dream, but don't have the discipline to write them down as some of my friends do. I just remember them at odd times during the day, when something triggers it...
I woke this morning not remembering my dream but knowing something wonderful was fortold...that was cool! Lately, even though my exN is at it again in a horrible way (not even worth the words to describe it) I have a general sense of well being and believe wonderful things are headed my way. My dream, whatever it was, is probably a manifestation of this feeling.
My fiance is a "vivid" dreamer. Dead people talk to him, numbers come to him (he has won lotterys using them....not the big one yet, though). Lots and lots of his sleeping dreams come true later on. I don't know if I could handle that kind of dreaming, but who am I to question anything? and I mean ......anything?
Scientists have a lot to say on this subject, as do mystics and philosophers, etc...I think dreams just give us more information about life and how wondrous it all is. The big mystery.......Life is just so interesting, isn't it?
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GFN
Are you experiencing any anxiety over financial matters? I noticed if I'm stressed about something in particular it will come through in dreams in a twisted way....like your parents taking other people's properties, etc could be a reflection of your own concerns.....bills???? Just a stab in the dark.
Mum said:
Lots and lots of his sleeping dreams come true later on.
Some of my dreams come true as well. Not many, usually about 2-3 per year. The ones that do are very vivid. The last one involved my best friend's Mom getting into a car accident. It's weird.
Still waiting on the vivid dream where X N falls off the face of the Earth. :wink: Now that's a dream I would welcome!
Hey GFN...if you are starting to get into your dreams why don't you buy one of those dream interpretation books. You can also look up what dreams mean online. I had some wacky ones during my last legal battle with X N and found some of the interpretations to be right on the money.
Who knows. At the very least it is entertaining.
Mia
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Oh, Mia; in that dream (the one about the ex falling off the face of the earth?) It's MY ex, ok? no matter who dreams it, that's my ex. :twisted: Oh, I forgot they are the same guy...ok, dream away!!!! :wink:
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Hi. GFN,
I always pay attention to and look for meaning in my dreams. it is fun to analyze them.
What a rich dreamer you are!
Ok, just for fun, here is my amatuer analysis of your dream:
Your parents are an aspect of you, your own internal parents. Yours are practical and shrewd, yet they are undermining a more enterprising, entrepenaurial aspect of you. Your inner parents are over-controlling your decisions and life.
Is there some business venture or career move that you are just dying to try but feel you can't succeed at? Hopes, dreams, and goals for beautification or regarding the natural surroundings, the earth, etc that you feel strongly about but do not pursue?
Let me know how far off I am...
Delphine
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Hi GFN,
Sorry, I have no words of wisdom on interpreting your dream, but I have noticed a current recurring one of my own. For many years, while I thought I was happily married, I would dream of my H leaving me quite suddenly. These dreams were so vivid that I would wake up and check to see if he was still in the bed. (apparently my subconscious mind knew more than my conscious mind). Lately, however, he has come into my dreams as someone standing on the sidelines watching my life that I pay no attention to. I have no idea what that means (other than the obvious), but I like his new role. Falling off the face of the earth with the rest of the a$$holes would be better, but I'll take this for now. :lol:
Mudpuppy, I did have a dream one night that you were in. Interestingly enough, and I am not making this up, you were covered in mud and rolling in a puddle (but in human form). Even from a distance, you are having an effect on me. Scary, isn't it? :wink:
So glad to be back. I missed you guys. :D :D
Brigid
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Hi Brigid,
Good to have you back.
Interestingly enough, and I am not making this up, you were covered in mud and rolling in a puddle (but in human form
I assume you know what a mudpuppy is. For those who don't, it is a large fairly disgusting salamander with large external gills.
Your description of my behavior is one my wife has often suspected, although on laundry day I imagine it is more of a nightmare than a dream to her. :roll:
mudpuppy
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Last night........I dreamed my parents were mortgage brokers, who also ran a landscaping company on the side. They would do outdoor work in an area and somehow find out who was having trouble making their mortgage payments. Then they would talk those people into having landscaping done, that they could not afford to pay for, and somehow take possession of those people's properties. Finally, my parents would set up a bogus mortgage, on those properties, and some other unsuspecting family would end up in their debt and eventually unable to pay. My parents were getting richer and richer. Then I woke up.
GFN
If you dream about a house or a building, it symbolises yourself. (I dream about houses all the time, usually with leaky roofs; no protection from the world :oops: )
In your dream it seems to me that your parents are providing financial security for you (the mortgagee) to become who you are, but that as part of that they have strings attached - it is not enough to be a house (yourself) you have at the same time to fulfill their expectations of what is going to look good for everyone else (the garden), and keep them happy (they decide the landscaping).
The only person who is winning from this set up is your parents; they end up owning both you and your image/profession/status in the world.
It sounds as if you feel that they own you, or at least that they believe that they own you, and that therefore you are in debt to them. Not just a bit of debt, but 25 years of debt - effectively a lifetime. And they are doing this to others as well, not just you. Maybe anyone they can find.
I don't know about your situation, but a friend of mine says that every gift has its price. It sounds as if to your parents, any gift of money or support they give to you has 25 year long strings attached, and they control you during those 25 years. Just like a mortgage company does.
I think perhaps your dream is telling you to metaphorically sell up and move out. Live in a garden shed in a concrete yard if you have to, as long as it is not mortgaged to your parents.
Or not. :)
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Hi GFN,
Lately, however, he has come into my dreams as someone standing on the sidelines watching my life that I pay no attention to. I have no idea what that means (other than the obvious), but I like his new role. Falling off the face of the earth with the rest of the a$$holes would be better, but I'll take this for now. :lol:
Brigid
Sometimes if my daughter has a bad dream we rewrite it once she wakes up. We have the same basic content, but we change it to include a happy ending, and take out the scarey bits. You don't describe this as a scarey dream, but perhaps if it happens again, you could replay it to yourself once you wake up, and end it by him falling off the earth, as you said, and floating into space. It might help, I don't know. It would certainly be fun to watch!!!!!!
Just a thought, however, make sure he isn't around, watching you. Maybe your subconscious has picked up something you are not quite aware of yet. Take care of yourself!!
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Mum, Brigid (welcome back BTW)
Here's hoping we all have *sweet* dreams about our X N's.
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
bye bye bye to three evil N's
Mia
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Thanks everyone for all the replies!
I will try to respond to each of you tomorrow.
For now........it's time for me to go off for another........dream. :shock:
They just get weirder and weirder lately. :roll:
Hope you all have a pleasant one!! :D
GFN
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Hey Brigid,
Mudpuppy, I did have a dream one night that you were in. Interestingly enough, and I am not making this up, you were covered in mud and rolling in a puddle (but in human form). Even from a distance, you are having an effect on me.
I forgot to ask you; how did you know it was me? Cause I was rolling in the mud? What did I look like?
Scary, isn't it?
It is scary. Did you have Mexican food before you went to bed that night? :shock: :wink:
mud
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I would appreciate any insight into why I have been dreaming about the ex almost nightly. I have no idea why. Most of the dream are somewhat innocuous but yet there he is every night. When we were dating or at least when we were friends I would often have "adventure" dreams about him. More like things we would actually do like search the woods for things. Now they are more mundane or he is just there. Last night he was attempting to fix a clock in the townsquare I believe. ????
At the same time I was doing some work around the house, which is actually something I have been trying to organize during the actual day.
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Hi BLIZ
There are many reasons to dream about an X. Personally, I wouldn't rule out a pscychic connection that has not been broken. In Jungian terms, he has begun to represent your own Animus (male self) if he is the male you dream of the most. Given that your relationship wasn't good for you, this means that your inner balance between masculine and feminine are not balanced or harmonious. (otherwise you'd choose a more amiable male for a symbol.).
Do you remember more about the time/clock scenario? Without more details, there is a hint that something in your past is broken; you are not able to move on and stay current. Since your inner male is trying to fix things, and if you are just a passive observer, this shows that you are approaching this problem from a rational, action oriented mode but perhaps not letting your intuitive nature have a voice or help you make choices.
How does that fit?
Delphine
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Mud,
I forgot to ask you; how did you know it was me? Cause I was rolling in the mud? What did I look like?
As much as I remember, I knew it was you because we referred to you as "Mudpuppy" in the dream. As far as what you looked like, I don't think you had visible facial features (you were covered in mud after all) since I don't have a facial image to project. I don't think there was any Mexican food involved, but probably a written exchange between us earlier that day. Just from reading your writings I imagine you to be (and don't ask me why because I have no idea) of average height and well built in a more stocky sense. You will probably tell me you are 6'4" and very slender, but I will never imagine you that way. I love to read books that are very descriptive and imagine what people and places look like. I think I have an image in mind of everyone here. I guess it makes it more personal for me.
Thanks, by the way, for explaining what a mudpuppy is. I didn't know that. I hope your wife has a good supply of laundry detergent. :lol: :lol:
Brigid
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Wow - I've been reading about these dreams, because I have constant, crazy, frantic dreams nightly. The night before last I had a nightmare of losing my husband and not knowing whether or not to let my N parents know. My husband has been my rock through all of my emotional problems.
Last night, I had a long dream that my entire N family came to visit - I can't remember why. But, my house was a mess (my mother is the original "white glove"), I was disshelved and ugly (another mother indoctrination), my father was making nasty wise cracks about my disloyalty, and my brother was chiming in. I've been very nervous and have migraines the last few days also.
Just needed to talk about it. Joey
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Good Morning Everyone:
I'm not going to ask you a whole series of questions about your family that you may not be comfortable in discussing, so I am not too sure why I even posted, except to say, Hi GFN. Good morning.
Thankyou Mudpuppy and Good morning the next day back at ya!! 8)
You gave me a good giggle so drop in and post away, whenever the urge hits!! And read on because you might be surprised about something I have in common with our sister, Brigid!! :shock:
Bunny wrote:
I don't know if this is about your parents or not, but it seems your unconscious feels you've been cheated, exploited, manipulated and intruded upon.
Well, I certainly feel that way so you could very well be right accurate there in interpreting what this dream is trying to say or release or whatever it is that it is doing. :?
I've been having great dreams lately but I can't remember a single one of them. If I do, I will report back.
Eagerly waiting in anticippppppppppation. :D
I used to think that not remembering my dreams meant that I was repressing a bunch of stuff or maybe it's a sign of discomfort (or maybe it's a sign of comfort??? :shock: )? I used to sleep really soundly and wake up refreshed. Now, that these strange dreams are emerging......maybe it's a sign of emotional turmoil and purging or maybe there's something wrong with me? I don't sleep soundly any more and I toss and turn a lot. I'm not sure at all if it's a good thing, or not so good to have all these dreams? :? But it seems like it's helping me to get them out.....which must sound really odd?
Mum wrote:
I woke this morning not remembering my dream but knowing something wonderful was fortold...that was cool!
This seems like you are really positive and healthy from the inside out, Mum!! Glad to hear about any lovely dream you have!! :D
My fiance is a "vivid" dreamer. Dead people talk to him, numbers come to him (he has won lotterys using them....not the big one yet, though). Lots and lots of his sleeping dreams come true later on.
That used to be the only time I remembered my dreams......when they would come true. I hated it. It was awful. I seemed to dream about all of the bad stuff before it happened and there was nothing I could do about it. There were times when I woke up and had to really fight to get out of bed because of the severe dread.....which would end up being too appropriate. :shock: I'm glad those dreams seem to have vanished. I hope they stay away. I don't want to know what bad things are going to happen (although sometimes I think it was some gift....to warn me....to prepare me for the shock to come)??? :shock:
Mia asked:
Are you experiencing any anxiety over financial matters?
No I'm not. We're not rich but we're survivng comfortably. I don't worry about money and even when things were much worse financially, I didn't worry about it. I guess I just worked hard and expected things to get better and they did.
Some of my dreams come true as well. Not many, usually about 2-3 per year. The ones that do are very vivid. The last one involved my best friend's Mom getting into a car accident. It's weird.
Yes it is and thankyou for posting this because I would never have had the courage, otherwise, to post about my dreams coming true. It feels good to know that someone else has had these types of experiences. Maybe I'm not coo-coo afterall?? :?
As to your X falling off the face of the earth.......ya why not? And maybe he could take a few other abuser types with him!! Now that would be more than cool!! 8)
I looked up one site that interprets dreams. It is interesting and entertaining, as you say, to look into this and heaven knows I need some interesting entertainment now and then. Thanks Mia.
Delphine wrote:
Is there some business venture or career move that you are just dying to try but feel you can't succeed at?
Well......there is something I've thought about some but haven't really put into plan or action but it doesn't have anything to do with nature or the earth . Come to think of it.....that might be something to integrate into the idea. Thanks Delphine! Don't know if I'll ever do it but maybe??
:D
Brigid wrote:
Lately, however, he has come into my dreams as someone standing on the sidelines watching my life that I pay no attention to.
Maybe this is your brains way of telling you that you are gradually separating emotionally from him? He's just in the side lines now where before....he was right in your face....causing you grief??? Just a guess.
Mudpuppy, I did have a dream one night that you were in. Interestingly enough, and I am not making this up, you were covered in mud and rolling in a puddle (but in human form).
No kidding......I had a similar dream!!! I'm serious!!! :shock: Mudpuppy was rolling around and laughing and having a wee of a time in the mud!!! (You had really big ears....as any brother of mine would......that stuck out on the sides, Mudpuppy!! :wink: ).
Scary, isn't it?
I would never have had the guts to tell anyone I had a dream about Mudpuppy! Thanks for posting this Brigid!!
And I'm so glad you're back!! I hope you had a lovely holiday!!! (sorry if you've posted about it elsewhere. I haven't had much time to read here lately).
Oh......Mudpuppy!!! Salamanders aren't so disgusting!! They're actually kinda cute.....once you get used to them!! I didn't know there was one called a Mudpuppy so ....what else is new??? :? You keep teaching me stuff I need to know. Thanks!!! :roll:
October wrote:
The only person who is winning from this set up is your parents; they end up owning both you and your image/profession/status in the world.
I think you're interpretation is the closest to mine (after I thought about this dream a lot yesterday....more to follow).
It sounds as if you feel that they own you, or at least that they believe that they own you, and that therefore you are in debt to them. Not just a bit of debt, but 25 years of debt - effectively a lifetime. And they are doing this to others as well, not just you. Maybe anyone they can find.
This is getting really close to it, I think. Thanks October for your thoughts. :D :D
I have to let puppy (my puppy not you, brother) out for a little run now but I will respond to page 2 when I get back. :wink:
Thank you all for taking the time to post and for sharing your thoughts and some of your dreams! Dreams are very interesting, to say the least eh?
GFN
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Hi again all:
Bliz wrote:
Last night he was attempting to fix a clock in the townsquare I believe. ????
At the same time I was doing some work around the house, which is actually something I have been trying to organize during the actual day.
Maybe all of your organizing of your belongings triggered your brain to organize your X, somewhat, by making him fix what he has broken, put it back in order, repair the time he has ruined for you.....time's he's harmed you.....or hurt you??? (I'm assuming he has done at least some of these).
Joey wrote:
Wow - I've been reading about these dreams, because I have constant, crazy, frantic dreams nightly. The night before last I had a nightmare of losing my husband and not knowing whether or not to let my N parents know. My husband has been my rock through all of my emotional problems.
My bet is this is your worst fear coming to the surface. From my understanding, this is a good thing. Supposedly, it's better for this fear to come out this way than remain hidden and thus....tormenting your subconscious mind. Who knows???
Last night, I had a long dream that my entire N family came to visit - I can't remember why. But, my house was a mess (my mother is the original "white glove"), I was disshelved and ugly (another mother indoctrination), my father was making nasty wise cracks about my disloyalty, and my brother was chiming in.
Maybe your second worst fear coming up??? I hope your migraines and anxiety go away soon...not nice stuff. (((((((((Joey)))))))
Ok.....so here's what came to mind....once my head cleared and I was able to stop thinking: "What a crazy dream???"
In my dream, my parents were ripping people off. In real life, they were abusive and ripped people off. They ripped myself and my sibblings off. They stole from us. They took away our happy, healthy childhoods. They stole our peaceful spirits. They ripped us off of having a normal, healthy adulthood because of the problems created by our abnormal, unhealthy childhoods. They took our serenity away and replaced it with hog-wash.
In my dream, my parents were landscapers. In real life, they did landscape our world (myself and sibblings). They did feed us and clothe us, provide our surroudings and raise us up. They did plant many good seeds (believe it or not) along with the bad, flowers with the thorn bushes, good soil with the clay. They made us look pretty on the outside, like almost normal, healthy, people (to a great extent). But the price they charged in the dream and in real life, for that landscaping, was too high, for me. The price was denial, the expectation of my unwarrented loyalty, not taking responsibility for their actions and....... my silence. What a rip-off!! :x I didn't keep the deal with them. :shock:
In my dream, my parents were mortgage brokers. Those guys charge a fee to find you a mortgage when you can't seem to get one for yourself. In real life, my parents were like mortgage brokers. They charged the fee of requiring love and loyalty and all that most parents get naturally, but the mortgage they provided had an over-inflated price. The every year debt they felt they were owed, was also a rip-off. My sibblings and myself could have gone out and gotten our own, reasonable, fair mortgages but instead we were indebted to and unable to pay for the ones our parents arranged for us (or at least I was not able to pay for it). As a result, my parents took possession of the properties (the self's) of some people. Those people are my sibblings. Their selves belong to my parents and their rip-off ways, their denial, their over inflated landscaping deals, their lying, their crooked, abusive, violent, cruel, jealous, greedy rip-off ways......are now my sibbling's ways.
And I feel ripped off....once again....just thinking about it!! But......at least I'm not confused by this dream any longer.
:roll:
Maybe you are right, Mudpuppy. Maybe this is something I need to be talking about that I thought I didn't really need to be talking about. I feel like I have forgiven my parents for so much but now......I'm starting to think that there are a lot of things I haven't even thought of to forgive them for. There is still anger inside me, coming out, in my new weird dreams, in regard to them. They stole my sibblings from me!!! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Something I have never admitted or mourned!! We could have been happy and healthy and loving toward eachother in this life. But instead, because of my flippin' lunatic parents and their horrors.....my sibblings have been mortgaged to the brink and are still making payments. Because of the denial and the inherited traits or the environmental corruptions of their hearts and souls, my sibblings are not what they could have been. My parents landscaped their outsides, like mine, but for some reason, I rejected their rip-off mortgages, while my sibblings fell for the whole deal. :x :x :x :x :x
So I get to live without loving, healthy relationships with my sibblings!! I get to suffer such loss (while my sibblings seem oblivious and ambivalent about it all). I get to see the whole stupid rotten landscaping/mortgage rip-off repeat for my sibblings children!! And I can't do a dang thing about it all...except release some of my feelings in my dreams and on this board.
:( :( :( :( :(
GFN
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GFN,
No kidding......I had a similar dream!!! I'm serious!!!
I would never have had the guts to tell anyone I had a dream about Mudpuppy!
Now that is scary. :shock: :shock: This man is going to start to get a very big head from all of us ladies dreaming about him, albeit not in a very sexy way. :lol:
Maybe this is your brains way of telling you that you are gradually separating emotionally from him? He's just in the side lines now where before....he was right in your face....causing you grief??? Just a guess.
I agree with this assessment and certainly hope that it is true. I try to keep him off my radar screen as much as I possibly can. Unfortunately, when I returned from my vacation I had a lengthy e-mail from him whining about how long the divorce is taking to complete (not my fault) and he was therefore going to need to decrease the amount of money he is giving me per month to live on (our daughter lives with me 99% of the time and our son 100% when he's home). He doesn't consider how this will affect them.
And I'm so glad you're back!! I hope you had a lovely holiday!!!
Thank you for the welcome home. Yes, my daughter and I had a lovely vacation with lots of rest and relaxation on the beach. I find being near the ocean to be so healing and contemplative. I had lots of time alone when my daughter was with friends so my glass of wine, the sunset and ocean waves and I had a number of deep and real conversations.
GFN, are you British? I should probably know that, but I wasn't sure. I visited London for the first time at Christmas with my kids. We loved it and can't wait to go back. (still can't fathom the Marmite thing, tho :shock: ).
Brigid
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Hi GFN,
I have felt an urge for some time to ask you about yourself but never felt comfortable doing it. You are so helpful to everyone else, including me, that I just wondered if you needed anything. All in God's time I guess. His timing is always perfect. :)
Sorry to hear about how you lost your family. I know the feeling somewhat. I'm sorry your parents were 'horrors'.
(((((GFN)))))
At least you can count the blessing that you are on the outside looking in at what BG aptly calls an 'N system'. Well, somewhat on the outside.
And I can't do a dang thing about it all...except release some of my feelings in my dreams and on this board.
That's the hard part, huh? Even as bad as my brother has treated me I still wish I could help him. But we can't. That's not an easy pill to swallow.
Thanks for trusting us enough to share some of what you have gone through with us. Others will be along shortly with much more wisdom and comfort than I can supply. :wink: :D
mudpuppy
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Hi again:
Brigid wrote:
Now that is scary. This man is going to start to get a very big head from all of us ladies dreaming about him, albeit not in a very sexy way.
I gather he had his clothes on in your dream??? :lol:
...he was therefore going to need to decrease the amount of money he is giving me per month to live on (our daughter lives with me 99% of the time and our son 100% when he's home). He doesn't consider how this will affect them.
Why would he consider anyone but himself, the crumb???
Is there any legal step you can take to prevent his selfish plan?
What does your lawyer say about it?
I had lots of time alone when my daughter was with friends so my glass of wine, the sunset and ocean waves and I had a number of deep and real conversations.
Sounds peaceful and refreshing and clensing! I'm so glad you had a good time! :D 8)
GFN, are you British?
Nope. I'm one of those crazy cannucks, up here in the great white north.
But I did work with a lady from New Zealand once and she brought some marmite to work and force fed it to me. I'll never forgive for it!! (Sorry all you marmite lovers. I'd rather eat seaweed, which is almost as tough to honk back--tried it once too, and gagged, spit up, cursed quite a bit after that).
Good old peanut butter and jam are just fine for my toast. Or cheeze wiz.
But honestly.....if we're going to talk about a heavenly snack.....it's got to be.............
chocolate.
No force feeding necessary there! :D
Maybe less vitamins but the cocoa is supposed to be good for our hearts and my heart needs as much good as it can get!!! :wink:
GFN
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Hi there Mudpuppy and all:
Yep. I need. Thanks so much for the hug and the kind, understanding words. I do appreciate your non-invasive consideration. Truly I do.
At least you can count the blessing that you are on the outside looking in at what BG aptly calls an 'N system'. Well, somewhat on the outside.
Ya. Kinda like a scary movie or something eh? And all the players are people you're afraid of (or at least....keeping away from so that they can't bite you in the kneck anymore). :shock:
My parents are both gone from this world. I don't like speaking ill of the dead. Another stupid, ridiculous, unfounded, silly, useless thing I was taught. :roll:
Even as bad as my brother has treated me I still wish I could help him.
Yes, I'm still picking pieces of mesh off myself too. :oops: Less bits left now than before. I guess I'm starting to give up on that idea of any kind of cure or miracle or wonderous rejecting of mortgages. Not gonna happen. :(
Thanks for the comfort you do supply, Mudpuppy (and the fancy dreams of flipping around naked with big ears in the mud too! :shock: Don't worry, the private parts were blocked out (censored). My movie theatre doesn't allow anything restricted or 18+.). It's rated PG or under, in there for some reason?? :? ). :D
GFN
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Brigid & GFN,
I hate to shatter your images, but I actually am 6'3" (not 4") and slender. And my ears are pinned back quite nicely, thank you.
GFN wrote,
Salamanders aren't so disgusting!! They're actually kinda cute.....once you get used to them!!
I agree most salamanders are tolerable but the mudpuppy is about a foot long, kind of a dark brown and has big external red gills that stick out like Christmas trees from the sides of its head. It is however cuter than the Hellbender which is a couple of feet long and which I once saw described as looking like an old motorcycle tire tread.
Brigid wrote,
Now that is scary. This man is going to start to get a very big head from all of us ladies dreaming about him, albeit not in a very sexy way.
As long as my wife keeps dreaming about me, everything will be hunky dory. :wink: Although I was in one of her's the other night, and I was apparently such a cad she wouldn't even tell me what I did. :shock: :oops:
By the way, this is a great idea for a thread GFN. Good job.
mud
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Hi Mud:
most salamanders are tolerable but the mudpuppy is about a foot long, kind of a dark brown and has big external red gills that stick out like Christmas trees from the sides of its head
Maybe not the most huggable but he could make a nice pet? As a matter of fact, I could use one around here, if he eats frogs by the gallon, as they will be emerging from their crypts soon and singing their joyous songs by moonlight!!
Where does the real mudpuppy salamander live?
Hellbender? I've been on those before. :oops:
GFN
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PS:
Although I was in one of her's the other night, and I was apparently such a cad she wouldn't even tell me what I did.
You probably don't really want to know. :shock: :shock:
Hey....maybe she could log onto this thread and let us all interpret it for her? Might be clensing for her??? :?
GFN
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GFN,
Hey....maybe she could log onto this thread and let us all interpret it for her? Might be clensing for her???
The problem I see with this for you and I is that it may make us start dreaming of the mudpup in a more x-rated fashion (maybe your dreams are PG, but not all of mine are. :wink: ). We wouldn't want her putting those kinds of thoughts in our heads about her 6'3" husband who in my mind will always be closer to 5'9".
Is there any legal step you can take to prevent his selfish plan?
What does your lawyer say about it?
I was on the phone to my attorney this morning about it and he talked to the H's attorney. We have a hearing tomorrow morning that will accomplish nothing, but I have to attend so this may come up. I had to dig up a Lorazapam to deal with the anxiety this has created. I hate that. :x
My parents are both gone from this world. I don't like speaking ill of the dead.
I can strongly relate to this. I keep resisting talking about them (also both dead) in therapy even though I know they are at the root of my issues and why I chose two lousy men to marry.
I'm one of those crazy cannucks, up here in the great white north.
OK, that explains the "bits", "holiday", and "wee". I'm glad we can agree on the Marmite. :D
GFN, you are a wonderful woman with always such warm, thoughtful, and insightful things to say. I'm sorry for the pain the people in your life have brought upon you. You'll stay forever in my prayers.
Brigid
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GFN, you are a wonderful woman with always such warm, thoughtful, and insightful things to say. I'm sorry for the pain the people in your life have brought upon you. You'll stay forever in my prayers.
Ditto, Brigid.
mud
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GFN, you are a wonderful woman with always such warm, thoughtful, and insightful things to say. I'm sorry for the pain the people in your life have brought upon you. You'll stay forever in my prayers.
I don't think I'm always so wonderful or that everything I say is warm, thoughtful and insightful but it sure is nice of you to say that and I really do appreciate it very much. Thankyou Brigid. And also for your sympathy and your prayers. It is nice to know I'm not the only person on earth who has experienced N-system effect (that isss a great term BG--was it? Too accurate!!!).
Ditto, Brigid.
mud
You too, thanks Mudpuppy for ditto-ing. :oops: :oops: Too much!
Too kind! As usual from you!! Thankyou.
Oh.....and Brigid.......a special prayer for you tonight. I hope tomorrow goes well and something can be done to stop your X from being himself :twisted: (even if it is only temporarily).
Well.....I hope other people post more dreams here. They can be quite facinating and I really believe they are a bit like crying and laughing and beating bongo drums (now wouldn't that be a sight.....all at the same time.....especially if it were some short/tall guy, with big ears, and no face, wearing a grass skirt, rest of self covered in mud... doing it all--oooga boooga???).
heeheehee :D :D (the grass skirt was necessary to keep it rated PG).
Thankyou all for being here and being you. Those who hurt you were total idiots to miss your sweetness and goodness (or maybe they were just overcome with jealousy and couldn't resist the urge to try to crush those parts of you???). Poor them. I'm the lucky one having the opportunity to know you here. :D :D They lose. (sticking out tongue icon please here). You're still sweet and good and they, for the most part, are not!!!
((((((all))))))
GFN
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Now they are more mundane or he is just there. Last night he was attempting to fix a clock in the townsquare I believe. ????
At the same time I was doing some work around the house, which is actually something I have been trying to organize during the actual day.
Dreams can often be very clever metaphors. What this one suggests to me is that your N ex is trying to find out how you tick. Ns don't mend things; they take them apart. :?
Meanwhile, you are carrying on your life without him.
Sounds pretty good to me. :lol:
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Last night, I had a long dream that my entire N family came to visit - I can't remember why. But, my house was a mess (my mother is the original "white glove"), I was disshelved and ugly (another mother indoctrination), my father was making nasty wise cracks about my disloyalty, and my brother was chiming in. I've been very nervous and have migraines the last few days also.
Just needed to talk about it. Joey
If you take it that a house symbolises your self, the dream about your whole family coming to visit, and causing you to feel inadequate, might mean that they are too invasive, not just in your life, but in your whole persona, and this has a devastating effect. The dream is telling you to stop them from doing it. If this is the case, you would have a good right to have migraines.
I would suggest that you try changing the ending of this dream, so that when the family arrive the curtains are drawn, the doors are double locked and you are sitting in the living room, eating popcorn and watching a wonderful film, perhaps with some people you want to spend time with. Or you could try actually doing that. I wish I dared, with my family. :?
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Where does the real mudpuppy salamander live?
Not to turn this thread into Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, but I think they live back in the Ohio River Valley and perhaps New England. Maybe even the Great White North. I'm just going by memory but I think that's right. Apparently they're getting fairly rare.
As a matter of fact, I could use one around here, if he eats frogs by the gallon
Apparently the wild mudpuppy does eat frogs. The domesticated variety tends to shy away from slimy amphibious food, unless they are of the Gallic subspecies. :x
The american domesticated mudpuppy is more likely to subsist on a diet of chicken marsala or roast turkey. Some have been known to consume the occasional steak and pizza as well.
The hellbender has a liquid diet consisiting entirely of vodka and orange juice. :roll: :shock:
mudpuppy
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The hellbender has a liquid diet consisiting entirely of vodka and orange juice.
:shock: :D :lol: :shock: :D :lol: :shock: :D :lol: :shock: :D :lol:
Too funny Mud!
Now that you've taught me all I need to know about Mudpuppies, I will never, ever, ever swim in the river, at our cabin, at night, ever, ever again, ever!!!
Never!!!!
But I still might bring one home to eat the frogs that incidently, started their chorus up last night!!
GFN
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October wrote:
I would suggest that you try changing the ending of this dream, so that when the family arrive the curtains are drawn, the doors are double locked and you are sitting in the living room, eating popcorn and watching a wonderful film, perhaps with some people you want to spend time with.
October - what a great idea. Thanks.
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especially if it were some short/tall guy, with big ears, and no face, wearing a grass skirt, rest of self covered in mud... doing it all--oooga boooga???).
heeheehee :D :D (the grass skirt was necessary to keep it rated PG).
GFN
Apropos of nothng really, I have a grass skirt in my wardrobe, made by the native peoples in Guyana. Never worn it (yet), though.
Another totally weird gift from younger brother. Kind of fun, though. :lol:
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Hiya October!
Welll....at least Mud knows where he can get one nearly new grass skirt, if he ever feels the need.
:shock: :shock: :D
GFN
PS: for the last 2 nights I have had 2 of the most outragious dreams I've had yet....
....both nights I half woke up ...thinking....."that is the most outragious dream yet".....then
Morning comes......and I can't remember a single bit of the dream....just this mid-night thought!
Next night.......middle of the night....same thing...woke up..."that is even more outragious than last night's dream! I hope I remember this one!!"
Back to sleep until morning.....when ....ofcourse....no memory whatsoever, except for this waking up and thinking it was outragious and worth remembering!!
What the......???
:? :shock: :? :shock: :oops: :D
GFN
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Now that you've taught me all I need to know about Mudpuppies, I will never, ever, ever swim in the river, at our cabin, at night, ever, ever again, ever!!!
Do you know something I don't know? I have never heard of a man-eating mudpuppy. :shock: :roll:
As far as remembering your dreams, how about a note pad or tape recorder by your bed?
mud
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PS: for the last 2 nights I have had 2 of the most outragious dreams I've had yet....
....both nights I half woke up ...thinking....."that is the most outragious dream yet".....then
Morning comes......and I can't remember a single bit of the dream....just this mid-night thought!
Next night.......middle of the night....same thing...woke up..."that is even more outragious than last night's dream! I hope I remember this one!!"
Back to sleep until morning.....when ....ofcourse....no memory whatsoever, except for this waking up and thinking it was outragious and worth remembering!!
GFN
Sorry to point out the obvious, but if you had forgotten the first dream completely, you would not have known that the second was even worse.
They are not forgotten, they are being denied space by your conscious mind. I would follow the pencil by the bed advice. Your mind is trying to tell you something that part of you (the internal Nparent censors?) really seriously doesn't want to know. :?
The fact that they are outrageous shows that it is really difficult to break through these censors. In other words, this is important for you to hear, but they are making you stick your fingers in your ears and hum a tune. I suspect that what this tells you even without hearing the dream is that you are not paying attention to yourself enough, although I can't tell if this is physically, emotionally or spiritually, or all three.
In effect you have a bad teenager dream here, doing the most outrageous things possible, just to get attention. Perhaps you need to sit down and say, ok, I am listening, now tell me all about it.
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They are not forgotten, they are being denied space by your conscious mind.
Thanks October, good point. I bet you're right!
I only half-wake up, so the pencil thing won't work... unless I can write with my eyes closed and left-arm asleep ( :D ).
In effect you have a bad teenager dream here, doing the most outrageous things possible, just to get attention.
I don't think the dreams were about me....they were about this group and this thread. Maybe I am trying to have outrageous dreams so I'll have something interesting to post, for all of us to examine and comment on??
I don't know. Is that the N in me seeking attention??? :oops: :oops:
Or some deep dark need?? :?
Perhaps you need to sit down and say, ok, I am listening, now tell me all about it.
I will do my best to try doing this, although I hope I don't fall asleep listening to myself ( :roll: ).
GFN
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I don't think the dreams were about me....they were about this group and this thread. Maybe I am trying to have outrageous dreams so I'll have something interesting to post, for all of us to examine and comment on??
I don't know. Is that the N in me seeking attention??? :oops: :oops:
Or some deep dark need?? :?
:lol: :lol: :lol:
An N seeking attention by saying their dream is not about them? I think not!!!
Darling, all your dreams are about you; that is what dreams are. If part of you thinks your dreams are 'about' me, or the board, or the man in the moon, that part of you is mistaken.
The N in you is trying not to let you get attention.
Half asleep is fine, if you tell yourself the story over and over until you grab the pencil. It will take practice, but you can do it. Don't put the light on first, that will chase the dream memory away; write in the dark. You don't need to be able to see to write. :)
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Perhaps you need to sit down and say, ok, I am listening, now tell me all about it.
I will do my best to try doing this, although I hope I don't fall asleep listening to myself ( :roll: ).
GFN
It doesn't matter if you do fall asleep. You will probably get a better message by a dream than by staying awake. Sweet dreams!! :wink:
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This is a little late in replying to Delphine's response to why I keep having dreams about the ex.
Thank you Delphine. I somehow missed this thread for awhile. I found it interesting what you said about our possible psychic connection. We had that for many years even when we were not in touch at all. I was dreaming about him so much, a few years ago I almost called him. Found out later his father was dying at the time and he was taking care of him.
Before I got reinvolved romantically with the ex, this time, I was again having dreams about him constantly although I had not been in touch with him for years. I finally said to myself that I guess if something is going on, he will call and that very day he did.
I did not want to dwell on this psychic connection in my initial post because I believe I am truly beyond this one. I know he can never love in the way a healthy woman should be loved. However, it is possible he is thinking about me at this time and that is why the dreams.
The dreams are different now which I believe means I have truly moved on. As I mentioned they used to be adventurous and sometimes sexual, where now they are more mundane or he even looks pitiful.
Delphine, I liked your interpretation. There alwasy seems to be the struggle within me between the masculine and the feminine. I am independent, adventuresome and in many ways not a typical female. I think at times, as I have mentioned, I swung too far in the other direction, believing I had to look and act even less feminine in power situations to accomplish my goals. For many years I have been trying to regain my voice and power while nurturing my femininity.
Another possible explanation to my dreams of ex is I have become a little intriqued with someone, but actually believe it not a good idea to pursue. It is a friend who recently got divorced and is much younger than myself. He has shown interest in many ways but I believe that he too may be hesitant because of the divorce and maybe the age difference. I have enjoyed talking with him more though and this may have stirred up some things. Just a thought. Interpretations welcome.
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Hi bliz,
It is a friend who recently got divorced and is much younger than myself
Interpretations welcome.
Would you like my interpretation?
RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN, AWAY! :shock:
Men are jerks.
Recently divorced men are even bigger jerks.
Recently divorced men who are much younger are some of the biggest jerks of all.
Now, about your dream I have no idea, but about your friend, see above.
mudpup
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Now Mudpup,
That does seem a bit all compassing. All men are jerks!!(?) All younger men are Jerks!!(?) I have not pursued and have in fact discouraged involvement due to his age and divorce.
BTW, he was always a good friend and nothing else. I knew nothing of the divorce until it was almost final, becauae they had moved father out of the city. I knew and liked his wife also. Although I believe there were problems in the marriage and they were both unhappy, she actually left him and moved to another state.
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Since I discovered this board, I have been having a recurring dream:
I am trying to do something, like finish building a dam or rearrange some items in a big china cabinet or feed some baby chickens or some other behavior that in real life I never do. Along comes one of my parents, my sister, or some combination of them. They make it impossible to do whatever I am doing. If I'm sewing something, they insist I use twine instead of thread, even though it doesn't fit in the sewing machine, weird things like that. Then they insult me in some outrageous way. I become furious with them and yell at them. Then I either wake up or start on some long involved "running away" plot where I escape them through fantastical journeys.
Talk about your obvious dream! But I have it pretty much regularly-- maybe three times a week. I think my subconscious is finally getting some stuff off its chest :D It started when I started reading books about N families and when I started posting here. Or maybe it started when I tried confronting them and got nowhere-- I don't remember the exact timing.
Anyway-- it would be good for a dreams 101 class!
And it shows that you guys and your wisdom are making it all the way back into the recesses of my mind.
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I almost forgot the frustration/voicelessness recurring dream. It reminded me of Vunil's. I am doing something and someone is repeatedly thwarting me or not listening as I am explaining the danger, project whatever. In the dream I get pretty mad and even jump up and down soemtimes. Pretty funny if it werent so real. Like Vunil said, not too diffiuclt to figure out.
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as I am explaining the danger
Oh, I have that one, too, where the bomb is coming, or the house is on fire, or there is an earthquake only I know about. But when I tell people, no one listens. Instead of going out the window, they put curtains up over it or lock it or something.
That is a heck of a frustrating dream! I'm sorry to hear someone else has it, too.
I read once that this particular type of dream means that someone is likely "overfunctioning" (Harriot Lerner's term-- she wrote the Dance of Intimacy). In other words, they take on too much responsibility for themselves. Usually folks who do this grew up in situations where others were underfunctioning, not taking on enough responsibility, and they had to fill in. So now their subconscious is constantly trying to fix stuff and worried that others won't listen (since in the past they didn't).
It's interesting to ponder. I would admit that I definitely need to stop trying to rescue people in my awake life.
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The over functioning is another interesting interpretation. I have had to over funciton in some family projects because I would like to see them realized and have been told they wont unless I do the work. It isnt a very healthy situation but I would like to reap the benefits of the project also..getting a new trailer at our family camp.
I will keep this in mind. I am sure I was the over funcitoner in my youth as I was the oldest and only girl. YOu know ,take care of everybody, including your dysfunctional parents. Thanks for the heads up, Vunil, I dont want to over funciton forever and drive myself into the ground.
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Bliz,
That does seem a bit all compassing. All men are jerks!!(?) All younger men are Jerks!!(?)
Take it from one of us. We're all jerks, some of us are just domesticated. :wink:
Mud
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Didnt realize mudpup was a guy, interesting to get your feedback. I refuse to be bitter and think all men are jerks, domesticated or otherwise...hahaha! I guess I would have full reason to think they are based on the nar male family members and my dating history. But, I chose to remain optimistic, though guarded and hopefully enlightened as to what would be good choices in friends, dates, etc.
I would think that a recently divorced man would not be a good choice. I know it took me about a year after disengaging from the Nbeau before I really felt ready. I do enjoy his friendship though as we have been friends for about ten years.
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Replying to myself, (kind of funny), because I had another dream about the ex. This one not too diffiuclt to figure out. I was supposed to meet him at a restaurant and he was spewing his rageul crap, so I left. Later ran into his sisters and they wanted to do an intervention to get him some kind of help. What kind of help I do not rememeber.
Thrown into the mix was a classic insecurity dream of being back at college and missing a class several times. The exam is coming up and I realize I have never been to the class so I start thinkng about how I am going to graduate if I miss this exam. I have this dream in different versions often when fearful about something. Many times even in the dream I am saying, "Wait a minute. I graduated already."
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Hi Ya'll:
Hey Bliz! I just want to reply to you so you don't have to keep replying to yourself 8) (although you'll probably do a better job of interpreting your dreams than I will). I'm not even going to do try because I'm feeling quite dopey this morning.
Hi Vunil:
Anyway-- it would be good for a dreams 101 class!
:D :D :D :D I love it!!
It's good that all of this isssss coming out in your dreams, I think.
As to me.......I've been doing the same thing for the last couple of nights. I'm having strange dreams and I don't know if I can even say I'm sort of waking up.....but I'm having the thought......"Jeepers that's a weird one" but I am unable to wake up enough to grab that pencil beside my bed or anything. In the morning........no conscious memory of the dream except that I had it and it was odd. :?
The pressure's too much! :shock: I start a thread listing GFN as the user name, for the first time, and now I must subconsciously feel obligated to come up with weirdo dreams to post, and even more subconsciously embarassed :oops: or something :? about posting them and so......I promptly forget whatever strange-o dreams I do have. :shock:
Oh well......I am enjoying reading about other's dreams and other's interpretations. Maybe I just need to chill a little??? :roll:
GFN
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Hi Bliz,
Didnt realize mudpup was a guy
That's a real ego booster. :?
Working in such close proximity, do you dream about your brother much, especially after a particularly unpleasant day?(are there any pleasant ones?)
mudpup[/quote]
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Mudpup,
Please forgive me. (For not realizing you are a guy). You know I do dream about my broher sometimes. Often I dream he is that sweet little kid he was at one time when we were younger. Being 12 years older than him he did not really effect me so much. I felt more like his guardian than his sister. I have had the frustrating dream where I try to tell him of impending doom and he is naturally ignoring me or making fun of my concerns. Not very validating. But, when you come right down to it, I dont need his validaiton. Just that he be fair in the work assignments.
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Hi Bliz and everyone,
I've been remodelling so I haven't checked in here but OMG Bliz, I have that never studied for the exam dream, too. Also, can't remember my locker combo. And in the dream, I have to remind myself that I already graduated.
I TOTALLY believe that some of our dreams are actually meeting others in spirit (dream) bodies. There are differences between these and regular sleep dreams. They are more vivid, always in color, and the background does not shift as in regular dreams. Scenes do not overlap. Voices are more real. Did you ever notice that in many dreams the "voices" of the other people actually appear in our own heads, or as if from a loudspeaker positioned above?
I had very vivid dreams about my college BF for many years in which he usually told me off or picked a fight. Then i finally dreamed that he was nice to me. He said he was marrying a woman with 6 kids and wanted me to know. He told me the town he was living in and said he was moving but didn't say where.
That dream haunted me and finally I called information in the town he'd said in my dream. The operator said that number has been disconnected. I asked and found out that a person with his name (and its highly unusual) had that listing but had it disconnected 6 days prior. Well, I'm waiting fopr the next dream to tell me how its going with his 6 new kids....
Delphine
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Delphine: my mom told me she also had the not studying for an exam dream, which I believe is universal for anyone who has been in school.
I haven't had it in a while, but can remember what they were like (awful).
We teachers have a common dream, and for me it happens most at the end of summer break, right before we return for the school year...it's a classroom full of kids (too full) who will not stop talking long enough to even hear me (I usually wake up practically screaming). It's the every teacher's nightmare class nightmare!
Another twist to the not studying dream, is having to teach a class I'm not prepared for, and another twist on that one, is performing in a play when I haven't memorized my lines (old actress dream) or worse yet, I have to DANCE in a performance and try to fake it (which sometimes works!) BTW, dancing is NOT my forte (understatement!)
Ok, here's a few for the dream interpreters (October?): repeated themes throughout my life: (although not lately, hmmmm):
a horse or other animal that I have forgotten I even owned (but really wanted), barely alive from my neglect when I finally remember it's there....(such sadness and guilt)
running with great ease, and gazelle like springing steps....and saying to myself, "I knew I could run like this....but I always think it's a dream, but here I am and it's not" (oh, the irony).....
and falling from a great height (like off a diving board and I don't go down but WAY up first) , but then I realize I'm flying and the dream becomes about trying to control the panic in my gut over it (I never crash or hit the earth).
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Another twist to the not studying dream, is having to teach a class I'm not prepared for, and another twist on that one, is performing in a play when I haven't memorized my lines (old actress dream) or worse yet, I have to DANCE in a performance and try to fake it (which sometimes works!) BTW, dancing is NOT my forte (understatement!)
hey finally something i know something about. i do a ton of work in dreams. ive had that locker dream a million times..... and the being onstage forgetting lines dream.... i guess they are both archetypal sort of things.....
Ok, here's a few for the dream interpreters (October?): repeated themes throughout my life: (although not lately, hmmmm):
a horse or other animal that I have forgotten I even owned (but really wanted), barely alive from my neglect when I finally remember it's there....(such sadness and guilt)
running with great ease, and gazelle like springing steps....and saying to myself, "I knew I could run like this....but I always think it's a dream, but here I am and it's not" (oh, the irony).....
and falling from a great height (like off a diving board and I don't go down but WAY up first) , but then I realize I'm flying and the dream becomes about trying to control the panic in my gut over it (I never crash or hit the earth).
there are so many fun ways to work with dreams. the 'abandoned animal' dream could be so many different things. but when i have dreams like that, they represent a part of myself that i am forgetting to nurture...
with me it is fishtanks. i dream all the time about fishtanks. i can tell my emotional state by the health of the fish. somtimes the fish are plump and healthy- water clear - they have lots of food. sometimes i will come on groups of fish that i know i havent seen in years, they have been starving, i am getting there just in time to save them. personally i have come to always interpret those dreams as parts of my emotional being.
could be lots of things though depending what horses mean to you personally.
the gazelle dream - that is a nice image. could be lots of things there. how nice you have good feelings though. thats always nice.
the falling/flying dream.... hmmmm! its been so long since ive had a flying dream. i associate them with fun and happiness, not panic.. so i guess its an individual thing. i guess i cannot help much with those :} but the 'abandoned animal' dream rung a big bell.
take care
Anna
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My father also said he had the exam dream. His version was not being able to find the classroom. Many years ago I used to have the tornado was coming to blow apart the house. For years I would dream this when worried or fearful. Finally several years ago I would dream the tornado came and the house and I survived. That seemed like a good sign.
I also have had the prophetic dream and even the occasional waking prophetic realization....(not sure what else to call those). They used to totally freak me out but now I kind of enjoy them. Havent had one for awhile. LIke when I thought somebody would contact me after many years and they did.
One of my weirdest waking dreams, (sort of) was thinking I saw somebody from high school in the grocery store. I thought to myself there is _____, and even kind of thought I should try to avoid them as the person had gotten a little "out there" in recent years. This wasnt even a close friend, not even actually in my class.
So I think I see this person in the store and then turn around and nobody is there. Found out later that person died that day. (cue in the Twilight Zone music). I have a few more of those stories if the thread takes that turn.
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Good morning, Can't remember dreams from last night but its a fav topic for me. I've studied dreams from many perspectives- classic (each thing is an archetypal symbol), Jungian (dreams are emotional/spitritual energy trying to find balance), Psycho-Synthesis (dreams are our many inner personae having free reign) Cherokee (dreams are a journey of instruction with our spirit guides or angels) and Taoist (dreams are the shoreline- they have no existance except as the contact point of 2 realms of being).
So you can take a dream like the dying horse. Freudians would say you are a man hater (killing an animal known for its big schlong). Jungians would say youhave not been accepting the animalistic aspects of sexuality and are trying to nuture them back to life. For Psch-syn , you'd have to explore the personal meaning of a horse to reveal the meaning, Cherokee, the horse is a totem animal bringing freedom, and your guides have brought you to it for healing meaning there is a cause involving liberation, may be your own or not, that you are being guided to help, Taoist is look to examine if the experience of the healer/dying horse replicates any other dynamic in your life and pay closer attention to what's going on there.
The emotional energy in a dream is as important as the symbols so if you post what you were feeling in the dream it gives a better clue of interpretation.
By working with dreams I've seen clearly how my mind invents and stages experential events and I think that, to a large part, my interpretation of what is happening in waking life is what I call "real". Studying dreams has helped me to stay open to other interpretations. Sometimes changing one's mind changes the world (but not always).
The dream dreams the dreamer
(Taoism)
Delphine
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One of my weirdest waking dreams, ...
This reminded me, Bliz, of something I've been experiencing lately. I keep seeing clones of my abusers, out in public.
At the grocery store, on the street, driving cars, etc...I see people who look almost identical to my abusers and I think..."Is that ______?"
But ofcourse it isn't. Weird.
GFN
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Boy that sounds like a haunting. I think I had that several times when we first broke up and even was attracted for a short while to a guy that looked like the ex. Now I seem to be going in a totally different direction, Thank God.
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but then I realize I'm flying and the dream becomes about trying to control the panic in my gut over it (I never crash or hit the earth).
I had flying dreams about three times that I can recall. I love those dreams. They have always occured at very good times during my life.
Exhilarating & empowering!!
my mom told me she also had the not studying for an exam dream, which I believe is universal for anyone who has been in school.
I think you are right. I have this dream when I am experiencing great anxiety over something. Both my brothers have dreamt this as well and we all report that it's an awful feeling. I always feel panic stricken and dreadful during these dreams or should I say nightmares. Also, these are the most frequent.
My latest dream:
Last night I had a dream that X N came to pick up the children. When I looked out the window he had two vehicles with him and he was loading the kids into the front of his SUV. I was in the house thinking, "What the h#ll is he doing?". Next thing I know the kids are driving out of the court by themselves. I yell out the window to X N to stop them before they get killled. He is standing in the middle of the court and doesn't move, doesn't say a word, but gives me a smug look. I start running through the house yelling for my husband to grab the keys to our car so we can go find the kids......I am in a complete panic b/c I don't what direction they are headed in. The nightmare ends at this point. Still can't shake the dream.
Feedback? I guess it's clear that I'm distressed (to say the least) when the kids go with X N.
X N lives on a lake and my Mom has had numerous dreams of the kids falling in the lake and drowning. Terrible.
I'm a worry wart just like my Mom. :(
Mia
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GFN:
I am now just reading some of the comments on this particular thread. When I started posting about 5 years ago on various boards on Ns, it also unleashed vivid dreams. I also had trouble dreaming before that time. Some of the dreams were so vivid that I would think about them for days and the meaning of them. I think those dreams that are unleashed is our unconscience memories that we have buried coming up to the surface, memories that need to be dealt with and absorbed. I think at the time when those things occurred by my N, they were to painful for me to deal with and I just "stuffed" it down. When the N left I began to deal with those things and they came out in dreams.
I read with interest your first post on this thread about your parents "fronting" as a mortgage company. I think their absorption of your emotions at your expense is at the core of this dream. This is my unsophistocated take on it. My N confiscated my emotions and energy and banked all that for his use. He would go about scoping out other unsuspecting individuals sucking up their emotions as well. He would also scour the landscape so to speak for anything that would accrue to him. I think the same could be said of your parents in this dream.
Dreams have always facinated me because they were telling me something important my conscience being is not aware of. I would actually wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. I could remember the important parts and I would write them down. Even being awoke in the middle of the night I could not remember it all, no matter how hard I tried. The following day I would have this nagging "thing" in the back of my mind I would try and try to remember. The dream would finally resolve itself by my seeing something totally unrelated, or hearing something that would trigger the memory during the day. It was very strange.
Patz
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a horse or other animal that I have forgotten I even owned (but really wanted), barely alive from my neglect when I finally remember it's there....(such sadness and guilt)
running with great ease, and gazelle like springing steps....and saying to myself, "I knew I could run like this....but I always think it's a dream, but here I am and it's not" (oh, the irony).....
and falling from a great height (like off a diving board and I don't go down but WAY up first) , but then I realize I'm flying and the dream becomes about trying to control the panic in my gut over it (I never crash or hit the earth).
Struggling to reconnect, but will try here; just some thoughts, take or leave as you wish. The horse or other animal seems to be yourself. It is a beloved pet, symbolising the inner person that you are. For some of us this is a child, for you it may be an animal. That is your choice. The dream is telling you that there is an important part of yourself that you are neglecting.
The gazelle is telling you that there are many things that you can do, but you do not believe in yourself enough. Again, you use a beautiful animal image. This is lovely; it means you identify closely with the animal world, and through that with nature as a whole. Perhaps some peoples would say that these animals are your spirit guides. I am not sure about that, but clearly you are close to nature.
The falling dream is a very common one - I used to have this a lot when I was a child - falling down stairs. I forget for the moment what it means - probably because it is part of me. It is about fear, and about failure, I think. Perhaps also insecurity. That makes sense with the flying part of your dream, too, which relates to the gazelle as well.
When we were small we used to say that if you ever dream that you have landed in a falling dream, that means you are dead. I don't suppose that is actually true. :)
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with me it is fishtanks. i dream all the time about fishtanks. i can tell my emotional state by the health of the fish. somtimes the fish are plump and healthy- water clear - they have lots of food. sometimes i will come on groups of fish that i know i havent seen in years, they have been starving, i am getting there just in time to save them. personally i have come to always interpret those dreams as parts of my emotional being.
Anna
I think you are right. Water is either symbolic of emotion, or else of motherhood, as far as I understand. This sounds like a metaphor for your life and aspects of your self, as you say. Perhaps swimming in the tank is about exploring your emotional life, and rediscovering parts of yourself that you had forgotten about.
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My latest dream:
Last night I had a dream that X N came to pick up the children. When I looked out the window he had two vehicles with him and he was loading the kids into the front of his SUV. I was in the house thinking, "What the h#ll is he doing?". Next thing I know the kids are driving out of the court by themselves. I yell out the window to X N to stop them before they get killled. He is standing in the middle of the court and doesn't move, doesn't say a word, but gives me a smug look. I start running through the house yelling for my husband to grab the keys to our car so we can go find the kids......I am in a complete panic b/c I don't what direction they are headed in. The nightmare ends at this point. Still can't shake the dream.
Feedback? I guess it's clear that I'm distressed (to say the least) when the kids go with X N.
Mia
This sounds like a very scarey dream. If I had that about my daughter it would really frighten me. It may not be so scarey really, though. It sounds as if your kids are growing up faster than either you or the nasty N realise. One of these days they are not going to worry about who they are with; they will drive that car (their lives) all by themselves. And it is not you they are driving away from; it is him. :lol:
Meanwhile, you will be panicking, and he will be oblivious to what is happening. But the important thing to notice is that the kids are ok. :) Maybe this dream ends with them driving to the nearest takeaway, then calling you to join them there, leaving N standing on the drive.
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I've been having more "nightmares" than dreams about my ex lately.
Most recent was we were going somewhere/or had to meet someone, but he warned me that the girl he had to meet was only 14 years old. He implied that he was like interested in her, and I recall that I was very hurt and couldn't understand why he would be interested in someone so young. (He always threatened me about other girls).
Then there was one where I was talking about his sister-in-law (who I confided his abusiveness to) and she walked up behind me and her me talking about her.
I don't know. It's wierd how your sub-conscious works.
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When you were talking about the beloved animal dream it reminded me of an occasional dream I have that a particular car I really liked is still around somewhere and mine, or an that an apartment that I once lived in that I really liked I now own.
It seems to be a longing dream, longing for the past I guess.??? Longing to have a "do over". It is always a neat feeling, in the dream, to know I still have the car or now own the apartment I loved so.
One of the strangest longing dream I think I have is that my paternal Grandmother is still alive. That they kept her in some kind of suspended animation all these years and she is n the basement of the house she owned. That is a strange one. Any interpretations there?
She was a strong figure in our lives and has been dead for 30 years. Sometimes, in the dream I even get to talk to her like, "hey I didnt know you were in the basement all these years." The funny thing is she wasnt realy affectionate and even kind of stern, but still was very much the revered Victorian era matriarch.
She was an older mother when she had my father so she really was alive in the Victorian era. Loving all things historic, and especially VIctorian, I think she represents that time to me when houses were big, beautiful and classic and the world was a gentler place. What does dreaming about houses in general mean?
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wow, Thanks for the various dream interpretations.
I think a few really hit home for my dreams.
I am indeed extremely connected to animals. They have always been part of my life and part of my work as an artist...horses in particular. I used to wonder if I was a deer in a past life because of the running/leaping dreams. Yes, I was neglectful of my strength (ironically, none of these dreams are in the last few years..just major themes before that). I have always been a little insecure and afraid of my power (working a lot on that lately). Freedom in a very real sense of the word has been elusive for me...
thanks for the ideas.....
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Hi all:
Hey Patz:
I think those dreams that are unleashed is our unconscience memories that we have buried coming up to the surface, memories that need to be dealt with and absorbed.
Maybe so?? I don't know if I stuffed those feelings about my parents or just never thought about what they stole from me, in regard to my siblings, and possibly other things that I haven't voiced, until that dream brought it up. Now I'm back to not remembering my dreams again so phooey!! Maybe it's too much right now?? We'll see, I guess.
I read with interest your first post on this thread about your parents "fronting" as a mortgage company. I think their absorption of your emotions at your expense is at the core of this dream.
This is certainly part of it. I'm sure you're right. This is probably true for many growing up in such conditions. I'm sure I stuffed all kinds of feelings I'm not aware that I stuffed. I'm not sure I want to unstuff them or just let my dreams do it for me?? It is odd that I have never dreamt of my mother, not even once, since she died 15 years ago. I really find that strange.
Dreams have always facinated me because they were telling me something important my conscience being is not aware of.
I think so too, sometimes. Other times I just think it's my unconscious mind playing out my worst fears, or some other emotion that has been hiding/held under the surface. Then also, sometimes, it seems like they are a premenition or something weird??
Thanks for your thoughts Patz. I appreciate you bothering. Dreams are interesting, for sure and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who has been wondering about some of them or repressing them????, or having vivd ones, at one time or other.
GFN
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I dreamed a couple of days ago that mother and step-father were trying to inject something directly into my brain (with a huge hypodermic :?: ) which would make me a compliant, dumb person. I was horrified and struggled and got away.
I worry about the stuff inside our heads that we don't see. Like little time-bombs sitting there. Then we pick up a gun, or a bottle etc etc. I worry about people full stop, period!
GFN, by the way, you were right on the religion/Phillip's thread re: principles. Principles can be absolute, I was confusing the principles with actions (we can be forced to act against a principle, but the principle still remains intact, as an idea). Thanks for making me work that one through at the time :D Yes, abuse of children is always wrong. That's pretty absolute. best, Portia
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Good morning everyone:
Wow! Portia! That must have been a terrifying dream?? Did it seem very real??
Sometimes, when I have remembered a dream, I also remember thinking how unreal it was and telling myself, in my dream: "this is just a dream" or "good thing this is a dream".
Other times, the dream seeems so real that it shakes me up good for awhile, even after I wake up.
This one of yours sounds like one of your worst fears??? (that is unlikely to come true). Or might you feel guilty for not being compliant enough (according to what you think a good daughter ought to be, or what you might see other daughters doing, or what they keep telling you you should be doing......and you believe them a little)?
The good news is...you got away. So even in your dreams, you do not just dumbly comply. :D :D That's my take.
GFN, by the way, you were right on the religion/Phillip's thread re: principles. Principles can be absolute, I was confusing the principles with actions (we can be forced to act against a principle, but the principle still remains intact, as an idea). Thanks for making me work that one through at the time Yes, abuse of children is always wrong. That's pretty absolute.
And sometimes, we can decide that the principle is not nearly as solid as we had previously thought. We can act against it because we see how the state of it can be variable. Example: It is wrong to steal. Which it basically is (my belief)...but if my child and I were starving and an opportunity presented itself to steal food... from a place where it would not be noticed missing, would it still be absolutely wrong to steal...especially if I stole from someone who had plenty?? I might be tempted to act against my principle, in that case. You may say 'forced to act' but I think I would still be making a choice. A choice to act, on that occasion. I have other choices but this might be the one I would make because it seems like the most right of all the wrongs, at that time. Does that make any sence??
Anyway, Portia, thanks for making meeeee think about it a little more too. I don't like absolutes either, really. But there are certain basics that I am unwilling to change my mind about (such as faith). The rest......is variable.
Hope your next dream is a pleasant one!! :D
GFN
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Thanks for the good wishes GFN :D Only last week I told my H about another dream (I was shouting and raging at my mother and ended up repeatedly slapping her face, which in the dream, I told myself was wrong and shocking and felt awful about – just the slapping that is) and – he said “that would be a nightmare to me”.
Wow! No, no I said, that’s JUST a dream to me (like the one about the syringe). Nightmares are where I wake up sweating gallons and trying push something off my chest, or wondering what to do about the malevolent figure in the room (if I pretend to be asleep will it go away? Etc).
Hmmmm. Interesting when I write it down eh? :? And two and two equals 153. :roll:
So anyway, it was interesting to compare what he sees as a nightmare and I see as just a dream. The syringe one is just a dream because it’s like so many others, mind-control by some sort of surgery. Nightmares for me happen rarely but when they do they are like a struggle to live and yes, in those, I tell myself to wake up, I shout at my sleeping self to wake up! And I do. And I did? Maybe I’m still waking up.
When I said compliant and dumb I meant stupid/dumb not voiceless/dumb (tho’ they could be the same mask and maybe they are). But he’s dead and can’t try to control me any more. He was a sad person. She’s alive and a stranger, to me and herself.
I tried to get my brain to comply. I spent time acting dumb in jobs. I tried to fit in. I tried to pretend that my past was okay and just a little odd and that it didn’t really affect me much. I ‘coped’ very well. I ignored my brain and body until they started to give up. But the brain will have its way it seems. These days I try and let it do what it wants to do and it surprises me :D Who the heck the ‘me’ is watching this is a good question, tho’ not a question that bothers ‘me’ much at all.
Is stealing wrong? If I take home an empty shell from a beach, displaying it at my home where others cannot see it, is that stealing? Where will the shell go when I die? Did I steal it or borrow it for a while? If your children are starving and you see a well in the desert, if your children drink from it, are they stealing? How do you know if the well is ‘owned’ or not?
Stealing is about the notion of ownership which is a tricky one. Is ownership ethical? Ownership of our minds and bodies is paramount (rape is stealing, imprisonment is a theft of liberty) – but ownership of things? I’m not so sure. Wars are all about ownership. Maybe I should read Marx (was it he, ‘all property is theft’? I don’t know and can’t be bothered to look).
It is wrong to steal: it wrong to own. No owning = no stealing. So I guess I don’t hold with either principle, that really is a ‘it depends’ one.
But it is wrong to be cruel. Serious question: Do we allow people on death row the option of suicide? If not, why not?
I used to have flying dreams too (been reading here). Loved them, wish I had them now. So realistic! I had to will myself up and over the rooftops but try not to think about what I was doing. As soon as I tried to concentrate on doing the flying, I’d start to fall. Just like in the ‘Witches of Eastwick’ film. I’d like to fly in my sleep again, yeah!
Pleasant dreams GFN, Portia
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thought I'd throw this into the dream discussion: My ex used to have dreams that I was cheating on HIM (the opposite turned out to be true in reality). But he would proceed to berate me and be sour to me for the entire day after such a dream....supposedly BECAUSE I cheated on him in HIS dream! (maybe this should be on the most N comments thread).
What a nutjob, huh??
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Hey mum,
How do you know what a lying, cheating bum dreamed? Cause he told you he did?
He probably told you that after either actually cheating on you or dreaming of cheating on you. :x
Good ol' projection, don't you know.
Either that or his brain is so screwy when he wants to cheat on his wife he dreams she's cheating on him. :?
mudpup
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Hey, mud: good point! I think he really did dream this stuff, AND he was cheating on me at the time....and /or trying to throw me off the path so to speak. AND who even cares (I got your point) as he lies, cheats, and berates as a matter of fact in everything. As my fiance says: there is NO truth in this "man's" life: his mother didn't hug him enough, and his father didn't take him to the circus.
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Hello again Portia:
Only last week I told my H about another dream (I was shouting and raging at my mother and ended up repeatedly slapping her face, which in the dream, I told myself was wrong and shocking and felt awful about – just the slapping that is) and – he said “that would be a nightmare to me”.
Wow! No, no I said, that’s JUST a dream to me (like the one about the syringe).
Reminds me of years ago. I woke up pounding my X's chest with my fists. I was beating the crap out of my X mother in law. :oops: He (X) was so drunk, he didn't even notice me wacking him to death!!! :shock:
I woke up while at the brink of murder!! :shock: :shock:
I was sooooo frustrated and angry with my X mil for all of her denial and enabling and Nish non-mothering of him, for all her selfish sick stuff that she had passed on to him, for all kinds of junk.....that I was beating the crap outta her in my dream!! And it felt good!!! :shock: :oops: Until I realized it wasn't her. :oops: :shock: :oops: :shock:
And then it felt horrible :( :? :oops: :shock: :evil: :oops: , to realize that pathetic state he was in and my......behaviour.... in my dream. Was that a nightmare?? :? I don't remember my perspiration level, only that it was a dream.
And two and two equals 153
Ya. Sometimes my math is like that too. :roll:
...But he’s dead and can’t try to control me any more. He was a sad person. She’s alive and a stranger, to me and herself.
Sorry for all of that Portia. No wonder you felt/feel angry enough to slap her in your sleep. Maybe it's a good thing.....getting that out in a dream. Better than doing it in real life eh?
I told myself it was wrong and shocking and felt awful about – just the slapping that is...
Did you believe yourself? :shock: I told myself it was ok to do that in a dream but not in the real world. As long as the dream didn't start to become a habit, that is. Slapping her silly in a dream seems reasonable imo. Or you could jump up and down on her picture, or write her letters containing all you think and feel, or pretend a pillow is her and yell at it, while you're awake. It does seem like anger needing to come out, one way or another, I think.
The dream might be just a safe way of letting it escape???
But the brain will have its way it seems. These days I try and let it do what it wants to do and it surprises me Who the heck the ‘me’ is watching this is a good question, tho’ not a question that bothers ‘me’ much at all.
This sounds like a good thing....a healthy thing to do and an attitude to match. Good for you P! :D
Is stealing wrong?
Variable, I think. Depends on what's being stolen and why and by whom...are they even aware that they are stealing...maybe?? Basically.....it's wrong, I think, if it causes hurt/ is abuse. It's wrong to hurt/abuse.
If stealing = hurt/abuse then stealing = wrong.
Sometimes.....it may not be. Like you say, it can vary.
Do we allow people on death row the option of suicide? If not, why not?
This is a touchy topic for a lot of people but....I wonder...if it might be a bit of confusion about the definition of cruel and justice....mixing up a little here?
If the death row person was excessively cruel....is it right/just to be cruel back?
Maybe the answers will come in our dreams, P?? :wink:
GFN
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Hey Mum:
What a nutjob, huh??
Yeppers!!
Sure glad you're away from him now!!!
(((((((Mum)))))))
GFN
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Hi Portia,
I missed you, good to see you back.
Do we allow people on death row the option of suicide? If not, why not?
I promised myself i wasn't going to weigh in on these 'big ethical issues' anymore, BUT just a quick point:
The purpose of the death penalty, whether you agree with it or not, is for the state to say, "you have done something so awful, we the people collectively, in order to protect ourselves, are going to take your very life from you".
If the criminal is then given the 'do it yourself capital punishment kit' option it kind of negates the whole point of the death penalty.
I myself am ambivilent on capital punishment.
Now back to the dreaming please.
GFN, hope this doesn't hijack your thread. If it does I'm swearing off big ethical issues for good, I promise. Cold turkey. :roll:
mud
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Hey Mud:
GFN, hope this doesn't hijack your thread.
As if I care?? Go ahead and have a blast!!! :D Suits me fine!!
If it does I'm swearing off big ethical issues for good, I promise. Cold turkey.
Hey.....don't do that!! Never!! Turkey is most delicious served warm (imo).
Your opinions are as valuable/welcome/needed/helpful/thought provoking/interesting/important/worth their weight in gold....as any....especially......on big ethical issues!! 8)
GFN
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Hiya Mud, thanks for missing me and thanks for weighing in with your reply. I agree with GFN, state your views, voice it all :D why not? On that one I think I'm with the little Indian chap and 'an eye for an eye and the whole world is blind' kinda thing.
But I was pondering this very question of a DIY penalty the other day; like, why not, really really? I guess it's because it's a lesson of fear to everyone else - do that and this is the punishment you'll get. I don't like that - rule by fear - but I know it's what we've got. Principles versus cruel practical reality again. I might ponder it a bit more....goes off to ponder...quietly!
Sweet dreams tonight GFN and all, (trying to redirect hijack to original route :oops: ) Portia
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Hi Guys,
The only reason I am uncomfortable discussing 'big ethical stuff' here is because I'm afraid on some threads it diverts attention from the primary reason for the board, which is giving the voiceless a voice and helping victims of Ns heal.
Thats all I meant.
mud
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Now Mud......I think the waters are getting all muddied up! :D :D
Stating your opinion on whatever you want to state it on, when you feel you want to, as long as it's not intended to harm someone else.......
ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS part of the purpose of the board and part of having a voice and helping people heal. Sometimes seeing that might give courage to those who have been silenced for a long time. It might help them to start thinking about their ideas, their opinions, their feelings about things and maybe even inspire them to post. It might help them to begin to feel like an individual again, rather than some extension of some one else???
Otherwise, if we all shrink around, being careful not to say stuff about big issues, about ethical junk, about reallll world stuff......then we will be simply a bunch of yackers, blabbing away about ...what's not really on our minds/in our hearts/clogging up our heads, maybe??
Plus.....we are all learning from eachother. Every voice is equal and important and valid and deserves space.
Does that make any sense?? :? Go ahead......speak. It's ok. :D
(not just you Mud......but anyone who is contemplating.).
There's no law that I know of that states specific topics must be discussed anywhere here/or not discussed. Is there?
:wink: GFN
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Sweet dreams tonight GFN and all, (trying to redirect hijack to original route ) Portia
Thanks and you too, have a lovely dream tonight, Portia.
Hijack....shmijack. No worries. :D
GFN
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Hello GFN,
Well, you make some excellent points. Perhaps I'll reconsider my position.
Maybe I'll just oxygenate my external gills in my little pool here awhile and ponder the wisdom from my cannuck friend of the north. :D :D
At some point I may slither back onto the bank, barking my opinion to one and all. We'll see.
In the meantime GFN, some Canadians end every sentence with, eh or ay, not sure how it would be spelled. Do they do that when they're writing, eh? :wink: Probably not, eh?
mudpuppy
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I had a nasty dream last night. It was a bit too violent to describe here, I think. It was one of those where you don't realise it is only a dream until long after you wake up, and try to ground yourself.
My psychiatrist said that I probably dream a lot, and I do, but mostly it is the same as being awake, only different, if you see what I mean. But once in a while a nasty one comes along.
Went and cuddled up to daughter, and watched telly with her for a while. Ok then. :)
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Hi Guys,
The only reason I am uncomfortable discussing 'big ethical stuff' here is because I'm afraid on some threads it diverts attention from the primary reason for the board, which is giving the voiceless a voice and helping victims of Ns heal.
Thats all I meant.
mud
mudpuppy, don't forget, you are one of us "voiceless" here too. If you self-censor to try to protect us, you don't give us any practice in standing up for ourselves. :)
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Hey Mud:
In the meantime GFN, some Canadians end every sentence with, eh or ay, not sure how it would be spelled. Do they do that when they're writing, eh? Probably not, eh?
Oh for sure eh? (correct spelling). I do it a lot too eh? But not every sentence because it seems to somehow lose it's value. We Cannucks are all alike eh? Only in that way though (although....there are some who despise the expression and refuse to be real great white northerners by using it!! :shock: ).
My heros, Bob and Doug McKenzie would be appalled, or totally unconcerned, I think? :shock: (If I can find a link....I'll post it on the "Anything" thread sometime).
Maybe I'll just oxygenate my external gills in my little pool here awhile...
Happy splashing to eh!! :D
(((((((October)))))))
Too awful eh? Those kind of dreams seem sooo real and can be very upsetting. Glad you feel better now.
Hope you have sweeter dreams tonite!!! :wink:
GFN
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Mum said,
As my fiance says: there is NO truth in this "man's" life: his mother didn't hug him enough, and his father didn't take him to the circus.
I can see why you love this man. I think I love him too. That is hysterical. :lol: :lol:
Mudbrother,
The only reason I am uncomfortable discussing 'big ethical stuff' here is because I'm afraid on some threads it diverts attention from the primary reason for the board, which is giving the voiceless a voice and helping victims of Ns heal.
I truly enjoy these ethical discussions and all they bring to the table. It also helps us learn more about one another and, as I think it was Stormchild said, feel like you are having a big meal together as a family and sharing a good conversation at the table (or something to that effect). This is part of our "voice" IMO, and will help in the healing process. The more we know each other the more help we can be because we understand the hurts, sensitivities, beliefs, etc., that make us who we are.
So, in other words Mud, don't stop giving those ethical opinions. Whether we agree or disagree it doesn't matter because we get to know more about you and you are what matters.
Thank you, GFN, for stating this very thing in your most eloquent way.
Sorry, I don't have any new dreams to report to get the thread back on track, but I do have a hot date tonight, so who knows. :wink: :wink:
Brigid
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Hi everyone,
OK, I guess I didn't use very careful language in my post about 'big you know what issues'.
I didn't mean to say anyone else should not express their opinions and you guys are probably right about doing it in a thread like this.
My concern is for, say a thread that starts out "My N boyfriend knocked my teeth out last night" and by page two we're debating the merits of nationalized dental care, meanwhile miss smashmouth is wondering why nobody's helping her look for her teeth. :?
But, I'm still letting the oxygen stream through my fine red gills on this one. Guess I'll surface when I get hungry for some canadian frog legs.
Now on Bob and Doug McKenzie, I doubt they have a bigger fan down here in the great muddy south. Maybe I'll pop over to the "anything' thread and have a look, eh? Coo coo coo coo coo coo coo coo.
October,
Wow, I'm sorry you have such intense dreams. Cuddling with daughters helps just about any problem though, huh?
((((October)))))
Makes me glad I can't remember my dreams. :?
mudpup
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Cuddling with daughters helps just about any problem though, huh?
((((October)))))
mudpup
I think so. Anyway, she has a telly in her room, and I don't. So we watched Friends together. And then I got her breakfast in bed, as a 'thank you' for the cuddle. :)
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Mudpuppy, brother,
still laughing...... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Snicker, snicker, snicker!!!
I get it. Alrighty then............nobody's helping her look for her teeth eH?
Heeeheeeheeeeheeeheee! Hahahahahahaha!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
I can't read any more!!!! (Snort!!!) My tummy hurts now! :lol: :lol:
GFN
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...when I get hungry for some canadian frog legs.
I ope yew hno dare irr summ caannayydeean frensh peepole oo mide nod tink yew shuud eadd dose!
Coo coo coo coo coo coo coo coo.
Misquoted 'em eh?
Correction: Coo roo coo coo coo coo coo coo!
I'm truly sorry (heeheehee). Couldn't resist!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Sweet sweet dreams all!!
GFN
GFN
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Another twist to the not studying dream, is having to teach a class I'm not prepared for
I have that one! It's hilarious-- at some point I shifted from student dreams (don't know where my classes are, didn't study for the test, etc) to the exact same friggin' dreams as a teacher! Now I dream I didn't prepare the lecture or that I didn't make up the test. The other night I dreamed that a woman who was officially something-or-other was sitting in on my class and kept interrupting everything I said to make clear I was wrong! So how's that for a nice anxiety/voicelessness combo?
Last night I dreamed that my grandmother came back (she has been gone for 3 years) and it wasn't spooky at all and she was really there (not a ghost)-- we were all going to meet for Easter. My whole family was there and the family that owns my grandparents' house let us have it for the weekend. Ok, so it's time for church and my mom refuses to go to my grandmother's church even though my grandmother wants to say hi to her friends and see her church again. My mom wants to go to a different church that she read about because they are having a really great sermon on how to arrange living room furniture.
My subconscious is so weird.... And my mom has N tendencies but would never behave that badly.
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Ok, so it's time for church and my mom refuses to go to my grandmother's church even though my grandmother wants to say hi to her friends and see her church again. My mom wants to go to a different church that she read about because they are having a really great sermon on how to arrange living room furniture.
My subconscious is so weird.... And my mom has N tendencies but would never behave that badly.
Who says she is behaving badly? :)
Maybe this is a reflection of your mother's invisibility to her family. If she wants to rearrange the furniture in her house, that could be a metaphor for reassessing and sorting out her own life, which is not possible because her mother is/was focussed on her friends and church, rather than her daughter, and her daughter's need to learn.
Just a thought.
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OK, had dream suitable for sharing last night; (no violent road accidents). I was a student, back at University, and was moving into a new room, which was a shared room, with one other girl. She had the bed next to the radiator, and mine was under the window. I was trying to study some Maths (I didn't do Maths!!) and I had the normal dream worries about not managing to do all the work, and being behind with course work. but at the same time I was working, and getting on with it all, but I was very cold. There was a terrible draught, and when I looked the window was all broken, and the wind was coming in, and the rain sometimes came in too. I tried to fix it, but it was too badly broken.
Then I remembered that I have a small heater at home (which I do now, but didn't when I was a student.) and that I ought to have brought it with me, and made a note to bring it next time I went home.
It is very normal for me to have this kind of dream. Very often there is a building of some kind. Usually the roof needs repairing, but this time it was the window. I think this is about not being protected. Not safe. It is also indicative of trying to solve problems, and not always being able to. But at least I keep trying.
Also, I tried to say hello to the other girl in the room, but she didn't hear me for some time; she was too absorbed in her own affairs. I had to try three or four times before she noticed that I was there. That is not so familiar from dreams, but very common in reality. :?
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Wow, October, that dream sounds really similar to the type of dream we were discussing awhile ago where you are trying to fix things and whoever is there won't help/won't listen/doesn't hear you, etc. I have that kind of dream all of the time.
I think it's a reflection (in my case!) of having N parents who both didn't nurture me and needed me to be their parent.
As for the furniture, alas, I think it was more of a reflection of my parents' interest in things and appearances above people and feelings. I mean, if grandma comes back from the dead just for easter it's probably good to let her do whatever she wants :) On the other hand it could have something to do with my wanting to move away from my family a bit and figure out what I want away from them, in which case your furniture idea does make sense-- sort of the two sides of me arguing with each other. Heaven knows (pun intended) we weren't crazy about my grandmother's church-- very fire and brimstone. I myself would rather go to a lecture about furniture than that! But I feel guilty saying it, which is where ghost-grandma come in, I guess.
wow, thanks....
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Good morning all:
Vunil: Your dreams make me giggle!! :D :shock: Weird like mine!
Am I wearing off on you??
The other night I dreamed that a woman who was officially something-or-other was sitting in on my class and kept interrupting everything I said to make clear I was wrong! So how's that for a nice anxiety/voicelessness combo?
Maybe this dream is work related? I recall you mentioning a lot of Nish at work who were tough to take. Are they stifling your voice and causing you anxiety?
GFN
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OK, had dream suitable for sharing last night; (no violent road accidents). I was a student, back at University, and was moving into a new room, which was a shared room, with one other girl. She had the bed next to the radiator, and mine was under the window. I was trying to study some Maths (I didn't do Maths!!) and I had the normal dream worries about not managing to do all the work, and being behind with course work. but at the same time I was working, and getting on with it all, but I was very cold. There was a terrible draught, and when I looked the window was all broken, and the wind was coming in, and the rain sometimes came in too. I tried to fix it, but it was too badly broken.
Then I remembered that I have a small heater at home (which I do now, but didn't when I was a student.) and that I ought to have brought it with me, and made a note to bring it next time I went home.
Hi October:
This is like what might be called a relief dream. You had this awful dream the other night, which was so upsetting and this one comes along as a kind of relief??? Maybe you think part of you is broken (the window) but you know deep down inside that there is a way to fix that (with your heater)?? The wind and rain might be coming in now but there is hope for the future.
This seems like a dream full of hope. (((((October)))))
GFN
PS:
It seems like your math might be your healing?? Maybe you think you're behind a little in healing...but managing? But some people aren't listening and expecting more progress??? (or person, the one by the radiator, who is warm)?
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Well....here's mine from last night.
I was in my kitchen, poking my head out of the sliding glass door and speaking to my current mother in law (mil). She was sitting on the deck and I kept telling her: (and I don't know how to spell this)
"There's a chinchilla under your chair!"
She kept looking for it but every time she looked to one side, it ran to the other side of her chair, or underneath the chair.
I kept saying: "Look! Look! It's sooooo cute! A chinchilla under your chair!!"
But she just wasn't fast enough to see it. We were both laughing and enjoying ourselves, so I felt good when I woke up.
GFN
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Hey October,
This sounds like a recurring dream, which I've understood to mean your subconscious is working through deep issues.
Here's my 2 cents:
Even though you're cold you're still doing the work, which is what it sounds like you are doing in your real life.
About the heater, maybe it means you have tools now at your disposal in the present moment to help you work towards healing wounds which ocurred in the past. You may not be able to fix the window, but you still have resources to make yourself comfortable.
The fact that the window is broken instead of the roof may mean that you've resolved something and are now moving on to another place that needs attention.
As for why the other girl wouldn't respond: maybe she's like the people you meet in your real life who don't hear you? Or maybe she's yourself, and she's not responding cause you're not calling her loud enough?
Glad you're feeling better today,
Take care,
2cents
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Man, a lot of stuff happens on some threads in a day!
I had to share this one from last night: instead of a horse or dog I have neglected......I had a baby, and left it in the hospital and only saw it a few times since it was born (it was a week or so old, I think). My ex and I were still married, but badly so( reality peeked in) and he didn't even acknowledge that I had the baby. It was AWFUL. The most awful part, was that I realized what I had done/wasn't doing, and alternately felt terrible about it with thinking of the poor baby with no one to bond to, and then felt totally ambivelent, like "Oh, I guess I should go claim that baby when I pick up the drycleaning"....
My current real life situation could explain a bit: my ex could care less about our kids, really. His purpose in life, it would seem, is to be comfortable himself, and punish me (the one person who ever called him on his bad behavoir). His latest legal attacks (there are a ton right now, I just don't care to give them any more energy by spelling them out on this board) to reduce child support, to adjust/not adjust visitation, etc, ad nauseum, NEVER mention how the kids feel or would feel....always just what is fair or unfair to HIM!!! This children and me being voiceless in the courts and in his ears put him in a position of percieved power.
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Mum,
I have had that same dream many times of leaving a baby neglected and being angry with myself in the dream for not taking care of it, but not knowing how to change my behavior.
If I had been smart, I would have been analyzing my dreams more carefully over the years. My subconscious saw many things that I did not.
Thanks for jogging my memory.
Brigid
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i love the chinchilla dream.. !! it just sounds fun.
id like to share 2 dreams from this week, one that shows that 'abandoned creature/baby' thing pretty well...
we have a pet chicken. when i dream of the chicken lots of times im dreaming about my daughter, but doing it in a less 'painful' way. so i dreamed that my family had a fire, and was trying to barbecue our chicken. the chicken was looking at me begging me to take her out of the fire. but my family was insisting that i put her in the fire. they wanted to 'eat' her.
i had no choice, and the chicken trusted me, and allowed herself to be in the fire. i wanted soooooooo badly to take her out of that fire. but becuase of the family pressure, i was unable to, and had to 'pretend' the fire was ok... and she trusted me.. and allowed herself to be burned.... of course this is about my daughter trusting me, to stay with the family, when really, i want to get her OUT!!!!
thats a very representative 'animal' dream.
that was sad but the other dream, was funny... i dreamed i was on the donald trump show 'the apprentice'. it was my week to do the big project and my assignment was to bake two 'fortune cookies' for donald and his wife malania. i also had to bake them a cake, and ONE OTHER THING that i forgot! after they left, i realized that i forgot the third thing, and i was screwed. i also realized i forgot to ask what kind of cake they liked.
so i was alone in their amazing gold-plated apartment with everything you could possibly want to bake with, and i knew i could totally do it...... i know how to bake fortune cookies and thought that was a lucky skill.. i was thinking of all these different amazing cakes i could make to impress them. but kept kicking myself for forgetting to ask what kind of cake they *liked*.......
they had trays of donuts all around and i was hungry and ate some of the donuts. (i dream about donuts a lot too. they repressent treats or self-care. these ones were stale.) then i got a message from donald trump.
he was telling me that i had left donut crumbs in the hallway.. he called the crumbs 'unresolved issues'. :}}> i was expected to clean up the crumbs (issues) before i could continue with the task. there was just a few crumbs, and the place was stocked with cleaning stuff, so i knew i could do it easily.
then he was telling me he was reading everything i had written on the internet (i was kind of offended at that) and that in a couple of years i would know that being destroyed was part of the game and i would have to adjust to my place. he was trying to be 'fatherly' in some weird way. (maybe trump is representing my rich daddy... hm) but i was pissed becuase he was acting so cavalier about me getting 'destroyed' as if what i wanted just didnt matter.
then i woke up. ordinarily that wouldnt be a standout dream but it was interesting for him to refer to the crumbs as 'unresolved issues', specially after what weve all been talking about.
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Hi anna and everyone,
i dreamed i was on the donald trump show 'the apprentice'.
This is only a slight change of subject guys.
I want to here everyone's best guess as to what that reddish gold thing is
Trump has balanced on the top of his head.
There is no way it can be human hair. :?
My guess is it is either a golden marmoset or a red howler monkey trained to sit on top of his noodle while he's out in public.
When he gets home he just puts it in a little gold plated trump monkey tower.
Next day after a couple of peanuts, its back to the salt mines, sitting on his head.
Anyone else got an explanation for it?
mudpuppy
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Oh Mudbrother, you are toooooo funny. :lol: :lol: I vote for the marmaset.
It is amazing isn't it that someone with all the resources in the world can go around looking that BAD :shock:
He claims he's afraid to cut it because it brings him good luck. How twisted is that? Since when did looking like an idiot bring you good luck?
Brigid
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okay, that's just about the funniest thing I have heard in a long time....I laughed so hard I started coughing!!! Nope, I can't top that one, Mudpup!
but another funny thing might be figuring out why Trump has that facial expression....what is it, exactly?
Anna, the chicken dream. Ugh. How you stay so level headed with your "waking" situation amazes me....never mind those disturbing dreams. I guess you can't be upset 24/7? I understand that completely.
My sister, (who on a daily basis, doesn't know whether her daughter is dead or alive) has learned to "compartmentalize" this particular situation so that she can keep fuctioning and healthy. Maybe that's what you have to do? Either way, I am in awe of you.
I'm glad your'e here.
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I want to here everyone's best guess as to what that reddish gold thing is Trump has balanced on the top of his head.
Anyone else got an explanation for it?
you know at first i was with brigid and totally went with the marmoset.
i carefully reviewed the show tonight however and now im pretty sure its a symbiotic alien life form attached to his brain.
thats why he cant cut it beucase it might get injured. other than that i would have said marmoset for sure. or maybe lemur.
either way im pretty sure its secretly calling the shots.
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How you stay so level headed with your "waking" situation amazes me....never mind those disturbing dreams. I guess you can't be upset 24/7? I understand that completely.
My sister, (who on a daily basis, doesn't know whether her daughter is dead or alive) has learned to "compartmentalize" this particular situation so that she can keep fuctioning and healthy. Maybe that's what you have to do?
I'm glad your'e here.
thank you mum :} i guess we probably all have to do that, to some degree........ :{{{
you are so nice. i could get called 'level headed' all day! you should see the -real- nightmares i have. i wont say them on this thread. theyre not happy.
like other people talked about, i have a lot of premonition dreams, that come true.. so when i have repeated dream images that tell me theres a danger, i listen........ but most people (for instance the horribly underpaid government therapists im forced to see cause of my insurance) dont exactly see these nightmares in the same light as i do. ! meanwhile, big warning signs are going off in my head every night. aint fun.
sitive to people wanting to put me in a box and tell me what im thinking and doing, when they really have no idea :( :( :( back to the 'invasion of the body snatchers' thing.
but, we do compartmentalise, and continue on. hope everything ok with you over there :) ((mum + mum's))
anna
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I dreamed last night my father died. The whole family was somewhere and I kept saying we had to get him to the hospital. His heart stopped beating and I admninstered cpr and he revived. Then I woke up.
Dad's health has really been on my mind lately so this one isnt too hard to figure out. He seems to be going down hill although in my mind he is still relatively young-75. He has had chronic leg pain since November and looks like nothing but an operation will fix it. My Mom said he didnt want to do the operation but I cant imagine living with the pain.
He had to give up swimming which was keeping his other body parts going. It seems like he has given up which was never like him. I hope to talk to him this weekend and see what the alternatives are to surgery. Not too hard to figure out this dream but I needed to share.
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Hi all:
First and foremost:
I want to here everyone's best guess as to what that reddish gold thing is Trump has balanced on the top of his head. There is no way it can be human hair.
I think it might be a chinchilla?? :shock: :D
I'm in a pretty good mood, considering the horrible dream I had. Just about every dilemma known to my life-form was played out and kept me jumping skyward, off and on, throughout the night. I was obviously trying to escape the hot coals!!! :evil: It was an agonizing, frustrating, upsetting dream that brought out all of my current hurts and then hammered 'em......like they were worthless, nothing,... deserved to be smashed. This sounds very depressing and to a certain extent it is.. but I'm looking at it too, as a step forward in my feelings coming to the surface and the fact that it makes me wake up and think:
"That's BS!!! My concerns are worth quite a bit, something valuable and deserve to be considered!! And my feelings too!!!!!"
((((((Bliz)))))) I'm glad you're sharing. Even if dreams are obvious, they are still extremely emotional sometimes. Hope your talk with your dad goes well and maybe helps put some of your worries to rest.
I must be disoriented after that yucky dream I had last night. I coulda swore I saw someone write that they had had a nightmare but "won't post it here".
My opinion: Go ahead and post it.....if you feel like it. Maybe leave out some of the gorey details but do speak about it, if you want to. Maybe all you need is a kind word and a hug??? ((((person who had nightmare)))). Sorry you had a bad dream (if I'm not halucinating :shock: :oops: :wink: ).
GFN
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Good Morning Y'all,
I had one of my recurring dreams last night which always involves downhill skiing. I love to ski and have been doing it since I was five, but haven't been out the last couple of years (gee, I wonder why?). Sometimes I take a chairlift to the top of a mountain and can't find a way to get down. Sometimes I can't find the lift to get up the mountain. Last night my H was in the dream and we were talking about planning a trip to take the kids on a skiing vacation out west next year. I kept wondering why we were talking to each other and planning a trip together. I knew it didn't "feel" right. I quite suddenly woke up at that point.
I'm sure one of you dream analysts out there can tell me what the skiing relates to in my real life.
Brigid
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Hey again!
...it was interesting for him to refer to the crumbs as 'unresolved issues', specially after what weve all been talking about.
Hi Anna:
Maybe your father treats your feelings, wishes, concerns, desires, etc.. like little crumbs? Does you feel like you have to perform like a circus clown to get the tiniest (crumb) request? For you.....it's paramount to spend time/talk with your child.....to him....the issue is a small crumb...not a concern...in his mind? If you feel hurt, angry, frustrated, etc....these are just small/almost non-existant and unimportant crumbs to him?? :x
Hey Brigid: Sorry I draw a blank about the skiing stuff except that it is something you love/enjoy to do?? It's been a part of your life for so long and is now....a loss??
:(
GFN
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Mudpuppy:
Trump will somehow make a profit off his bad hair. Howler monkey is good comparasion. It is just had to know at this point if is a living or dead thing on the top of his head! I guess if it begins to crawl around there is life. However, everything else from the hairline down is dead. Patz
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Hi everyone,
OK, a miracle occurred last night, I remembered part of a dream. Its not much of a dream, in fact its kind of boring but, hey I take 'em as they come.
I'm standing (as an adult) in my mom's house looking out of her picture windows and there's a large thunderstorm approaching. My little sister, as a kid, is jabbering about something in the corner of the room. I think I understood her in the dream but not now.
Anyway, the thunderstorm comes crashing on the house with four huge bolts of lightning and deafening thunder and then just as quickly passes. I see nothing but blue sky to the west, and simultaneously my little sister has morphed into my own daughter. The end.
Now keeping in mind that my mom has sided with my brother during our conflict while my little sister has, I think, pretty much tried to duck the whole thing, tell me oh wise ones, what does it all mean? :?
mudpup
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Mud that’s not a boring dream, no way! Four lightning bolts? I wonder why four. (I love thunderstorms and lightning.) What about the feelings? Was your sister frightened, or something else? How did you feel in the dream – about your sister, then about your daughter…etc?
P
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Good questions portia, I wish I could answer them all.
There are four of us siblings so maybe that is relevant.
It seems like my sister was pretty scared by the lightning and so was I as it was bigger and closer than anything I have experienced in real life and each one came right on the heels of the other.
I do remember a feeling of relief when i could see the blue sky appear.
Then my daughter was just there and I woke up.
My daughter kind of reminds me of my sister at that age so I'm sure that plays into it as well.
mudpuppy
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I want to here everyone's best guess as to what that reddish gold thing is
Trump has balanced on the top of his head.
There is no way it can be human hair.
Actually, I think he is rather sexy. NOT!!!!
Mia
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I'm telling ya'll it's a chinchilla, if I ever saw one in a dream!!
:shock: :shock: :shock: :wink:
Have a great week end with lot's of nice dreams everyone!
:D GFN
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My opinion: Go ahead and post it.....if you feel like it. Maybe leave out some of the gorey details but do speak about it, if you want to. Maybe all you need is a kind word and a hug??? ((((person who had nightmare)))). Sorry you had a bad dream.
GFN
Tried, but can't be done. But thanks, anyway.
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Re: Trump. Ever since I saw him on Saturday Night Live last year I have new respect for the men, even if his hair stinks. He was so hilarious poking fun at himself and that chicken restaurant scene was a classic.
Did anybody see him with the cast dressed in chicken suits? He was actually kind of dancing to a horrible song about Trumps "chicken wings", I think. Hey, if you can laugh loudest at yourself, I am on your team.
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Re: Trump. Ever since I saw him on Saturday Night Live last year I have new respect for the men, even if his hair stinks. He was so hilarious poking fun at himself and that chicken restaurant scene was a classic.
Did anybody see him with the cast dressed in chicken suits? He was actually kind of dancing to a horrible song about Trumps "chicken wings", I think. Hey, if you can laugh loudest at yourself, I am on your team.
YES!!!!! that was so hilarious i taped it.
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Actually I gained some respect for him with that visa commercial where he dives into the dumpster to save his credit card. Now if it had actually been him diving in, he really would have gained some respect.
I guess the marmoset kept jumping off so they needed a double. :roll:
mud
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Hey again!
...it was interesting for him to refer to the crumbs as 'unresolved issues', specially after what weve all been talking about.
Hi Anna:
Maybe your father treats your feelings, wishes, concerns, desires, etc.. like little crumbs? Does you feel like you have to perform like a circus clown to get the tiniest (crumb) request? For you.....it's paramount to spend time/talk with your child.....to him....the issue is a small crumb...not a concern...in his mind? If you feel hurt, angry, frustrated, etc....these are just small/almost non-existant and unimportant crumbs to him?? :x
hi gfn... sorry you had unpleasant dreams too, the chinchilla was much better, but i do think dreams are a way for this stuff to come up and out. YES your feelings are important! definitely.. you dont describe your specifics but yes yes yes yes yes. for sure! <<<(((((((GFN)))))))>>> yes! always.
I think you are right on about this 'crumb' thing. its precisly how he is, toward anyone elses feelings, desires, wishes, needs. TOTALLY like a tiny little insignificant nonexistent crumb. *exactly*. an annoyance, a distraction, a peeve, an irritation, certainly not anything worth paying the =slightest= attention to. just a little tiny irritation in the way of his god-like omnipresence. <<<<SARCASM>>>>
also he thinks he can get anything with money. i cant tell you how many people (and lawyers) have told me this never would have happened, if it werent for how rich he is. i cant stand it that my poor little girl is having to go through what she is only becuase of dirty, evil MONEY.
didnt mean to single you out as 'brilliant' :>> perhaps it would be better to say, that of all the truly crappy therapy ive had in the past 3 years, you have helped me more in three days than all of that put together? would you accept that :) ? its true. you would think -one- of those therapists would have thought to explain about anger being a secondary emotion.....or....something.....
honestly, being retraumatised by crappy therapy is a big reason im defensive...... sigh..... people supposedly who know what they are doing just muddling things up and making it worse, and then acting as if there is soemthing wrong with *me* becuase im still 'daring' to continue to not feel well. again, i dont have the 'money' to afford actual quality therapy.... it always comes down to money which is hugely depressing. :( :( :(
also you were not hallucinating, one of the people with nightmares was me, i want to talk about it but its such difficult imagery that really it needs to be censored.
but its a big part of what upset me. its extremely upsetting to see these images over and over in dreams, and have nobody listen.
thank you for your thoughts. hope things get better in your own dreams again.
anna
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Good questions portia, I wish I could answer them all.
There are four of us siblings so maybe that is relevant.
It seems like my sister was pretty scared by the lightning and so was I as it was bigger and closer than anything I have experienced in real life and each one came right on the heels of the other.
I do remember a feeling of relief when i could see the blue sky appear.
Then my daughter was just there and I woke up.
My daughter kind of reminds me of my sister at that age so I'm sure that plays into it as well.
mudpuppy
maybe the storm represents family conflict and that you dont like it and would feel very relieved if it would 'pass over' and go away.
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Mud, your dream has been playing around in my head. I like the idea that the four strikes are you kids. Not sure if that’s what it is, but I like the imagery anyway.
Now keeping in mind that my mom has sided with my brother during our conflict while my little sister has, I think, pretty much tried to duck the whole thing, tell me oh wise ones, what does it all mean?
Sorry I haven’t been reading all threads of late so I don’t know if you talked about this elsewhere. If you have, ignore this. But anyway, maybe somehow you feel responsible for your sister. Maybe your head is telling you to talk to her a little more about what’s been happening now?
Maybe not. Maybe it’s saying you can’t protect your sister (and shouldn’t, she’s an adult, has to find her own way etc and not your responsibility) BUT you can protect and should protect your daughter? And maybe you are doing just that? And recognising who the important people are in your family – i.e. your chosen family, not those who you just happened to be born with – are the blue sky ahead? The over-riding feeling seems to be that everything is going to be okay. I hope so. Some kind of peace and reconciliation within yourself. Is that so?
Had any more dreams I can ponder about? I just found some time I didn't know I would have.
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Hi Portia and Anna,
Thanks for responding.
I also have been going over the dream and the best I can come up with, and I think its pretty close to the mark, is that the four lightning bolts are probably my mom and my three sibs. And as the last bolt struck my little sis was gone, replaced by my daughter. My little sis was the one i have always had the most affection for and the one who I think knows best what a crock all the garbage my brother has thrown. Even so, she still never calls, gives me no support. I guess I think the storm represents the feeling that I don't know if anything will ever be the same, even with her, when everything blows over.
I am having the feeling lately that I have suppressed a lot of the pain of what is really a very recent disiilusionment of what my family is, or was. Stormchild kind of cracked it open with a slight comment a few days ago. Not sure I want to take the lid off. :?
mud
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(((((((((Mud)))))))))
Signed out but back again. Fear not. Your unconscious will call the shots. If it wants it out, it'll let you know. If not, it'll wait til you're ready. I think you can't push the brain, when it's ready, it does stuff. When it does stuff, try to remain detached and see if you can observe what it's doing. Not easy but it kind of makes you see the possibilities for changing the way you think. I've found that anyway.
Sadness is hard to bear. Anger is frightening, grief hurts. But it's all for self-awareness, a closer look at reality. And what doesn't kill you does make you stronger eventually.
The board is here for you (and me, and everyone else). Thinking of you, Portia
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Thanks for the (((())))s P. You're a real pal.
mud
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I guess I think the storm represents the feeling that I don't know if anything will ever be the same, even with her, when everything blows over.
I am having the feeling lately that I have suppressed a lot of the pain of what is really a very recent disiilusionment of what my family is, or was.
Hey Mud:
As painful as this is, it is probably a good thing. I mean....this dream is bringing stuff to the surface...that maybe needs to get there, in order to get out and be gone.
It hurts to suffer such losses and I'm so sorry that this has happened. It is something that must be grieved or the repression of it will cook into other, worse thingys, maybe?
Big hug from me too, Mud. (((((((((Mudpuppy))))))))
GFN
PS: There is absolutely no way I am willing to picture you with fish net anythings or any type of wonderous brazierre! I'd rather see steam escaping from your big floppy ears and the rest covered in mud. Much comfort from that vision. As a matter of fact, the next time I'm faced with some twit who wants to hurt me with their stupid words, I'm going to draw that one up and pretend you're standing there behind me, puffing smoke and ready to fling mud pies!! 8)
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I'm standing (as an adult) in my mom's house looking out of her picture windows and there's a large thunderstorm approaching. My little sister, as a kid, is jabbering about something in the corner of the room. I think I understood her in the dream but not now.
Anyway, the thunderstorm comes crashing on the house with four huge bolts of lightning and deafening thunder and then just as quickly passes. I see nothing but blue sky to the west, and simultaneously my little sister has morphed into my own daughter. The end.
Missed this one and had to go back for it. Hmmm. Lightning. :?
Well, first of all, someone standing inside a house looking out indicates that they want to go outside. That part is easy. You are in your mother's house (which may represent her life) and you want to escape. :)
However, while you are looking for the way out, you see thunder coming. Which indicates that however much you may want to leave, you do not think it is safe to do so, at least for the moment. This may reflect an accurate picture of your childhood situation. So you stay, and you are right, because lightning soon follows. And strangely, the lightning which proverbially never strikes the same place twice actually strikes four times in your dream. I think this is saying that this is no coincidence; there is something which is going on which cannot be put down to chance, or luck or random chance. Something is following a pattern, and there are four, as you say. Perhaps four people, or four events. Four of something.
Meanwhile your mother's house/your mother is acting as a lightning conductor, and bringing an electrical storm down on anyone involved with her. This is a very powerful image of the destructive force she has.
Your sister is a child in your dream, so I think maybe you are both child and adult - the roles are often confused for children of Ns.
Then, later, the storm has passed, which is telling you that it is now safe to leave the house. More than that, there is blue sky to the west, so it even knows which way you need to go; west!!! And it reminds you to take your daughter with you. :) :lol: Maybe it is also rather sad; you cannot save your sister, but you can save your daughter.
So perhaps not such a short dream after all. :)
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I also have been going over the dream and the best I can come up with, and I think its pretty close to the mark, is that the four lightning bolts are probably my mom and my three sibs.
I am having the feeling lately that I have suppressed a lot of the pain of what is really a very recent disiilusionment of what my family is, or was. Stormchild kind of cracked it open with a slight comment a few days ago. Not sure I want to take the lid off. :?
mud
I don't think it is your mum and siblings, muddy dear. I think it is about you and your siblings; your dreams are going to be about you, firstly, and others next. Funny how we think that our dreams are about everyone else in the world except us. :)
Imo, your mum is there as the house, within which you are contained or trapped.
I understand your comments about disillusionment. (((((hugs)))))
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Hi All,
I had a very disturbing dream last night that I debated sharing as it is not very nice, but I thought it might help to unload it here. I dreamt that I walked into my bedroom and was carrying a tray to put on the bedside table. The bedframe was very high and I needed to walk around the back of the headboard to reach the table. I couldn't see the bed until I got around the headboard and there was my H masturbating himself to an orgasm. He was laughing as he told me what he was doing, then started moaning (well, you get the idea). On the one hand I was disgusted and on the other disinterested. I walked out of the bedroom and encountered my daughter who was about to walk into the room. I begged her not to go in and then I woke up.
I know the masturbation was in my mind because I was sharing some of that information on another thread shortly before I went to bed last night. I've always wondered since he admitted this behavior to me 20 months ago, why it was I never caught him in the act.
I woke up very creeped out and feeling dirty. I guess that is what the whole experience has made me feel like. Sorry if I upset anyone with this.
:cry: :oops:
Brigid
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Hi October,
Your sister is a child in your dream, so I think maybe you are both child and adult - the roles are often confused for children of Ns.
Well my mom isn't an N. She may be codependent with my brother or simply under his influence, I'm not sure but she is definitely not an N.
I had a good childhood. No desire to escape it.
I don't think it is your mum and siblings, muddy dear. I think it is about you and your siblings; your dreams are going to be about you, firstly, and others next. Funny how we think that our dreams are about everyone else in the world except us.
But I am there, standing in the house. There is a powerful sensation of something passing by as the storm quickly blows by. Thats why I think the lightning is my sibs and mom. They have passed by, either by active aggression or passive abandonment. And whats left is my daughter (and presumably wife as well. :D )
Either that or I had a bad enchilada the night before. :P
Brigid,
What a pig. The creep can't even stay out of your dreams.
I'm sorry such a sweety married someone so beneath her. What a loser.
(((((Brigid)))))
mud
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I have a fragment of a dream from several days ago. It keeps coming to mind so I'm posting here and hope that puts it to rest.
I am crawling through an endless maze of tunnels I can barely fit in. There are sort of shaped like ant tunnels, with many branches off in all directions, but are a little spongy and have some give to them. I feel like I've been crawling through these tunnels forever. Instead of being tired though, I'm more excited because for the first time, I can see light coming in from outside the tunnels. I'm about to get free.
Note: In real life I would have a panic attack from claustrophobia due to the tunnels being just barely big enough to let me through and then only be stretching. I didn't have any sense of that in the dream.
So lets see, the tunnels are the choices in my life. It has been a long journey with no room to breath. I have to work hard to stretch (grow?) my way through. I'm close enough to the end (of this part) that I can see the bright light (enlightenment, freedom?). There is no one else around, only me. My personal journey of growth is close to being over, at least for this stage. I made the decision to get a house and separate today.
Does anyone have any other associations with this?
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8) :D :D :D 8) :D :D 8) :D :D :D 8)
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Longtire,
I made the decision to get a house and separate today.
Bless you brother :!: :D
Brigid
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Hi everyone:
When I started this thread I really thought I was probably the only one with really weird dreams. :shock:
But now.....I feel a whole lot better! :D :D I'm not alone!!!! :D
Brigid: Your worst nightmare....playing itself out? Catching him and feeling dirty/creepy afterward....would have been worse in real life? Possibly.....afraid for your daughter? Deep deep in your subconscious (or maybe not so deep)? Have a talk with her, maybe?
You did the right thing. You warned her. His behaviour, over the years had nothing to do with you. It had to do with him. The head board...protected you.
Longtire: You're walking in a straight line now. Good for you! Keep going!! :D :D :D
GFN
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Ok, I triple dog dare anybody to make a big psychological drama out of this dream, well a snippet of a dream really.
My wife comes home from the store. I look in as she's putting the groceries away and there are two Cheerios boxes sitting there. An empty one and a full one. She had bought a new box of Cheerios for my breakfast tomorrow without me either asking her or putting it on the list. :D
Now who does the full box represent and which unfulfilled expectation is the empty box supposed to be? Are there sexual connotations to the hole in a Cheerio? Any one feeling creative?
I only realized this was a dream when I went to the cupboard a couple of hours ago and there weren't any Cheerios in it. :shock: She told me she hadn't bought any for some time. :?
mudpup
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Ok, I triple dog dare anybody to make a big psychological drama out of this dream, well a snippet of a dream really.
Are you joking, mudpup, or trying to be hurtful?
Because I am feeling vulnerable, and this seems pointed to me. But I am not going to let it hurt me, because it says more about you than about anyone else trying genuinely to help others, and getting a rather sneering kind of label stuck on them in the process.
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Hi and good morning all.
Longtire, what colour were the tunnels? They were spongy? Sounds to me like you’re getting ready for a re-birth. Into the light, only this time, you’re in control. And you’re re-birthing from the maze of your brain, not the, er, :? usual parts of anatomy. Wonderful dream! :D
Brigid, this copy and paste thing, can I help you solve it or aren’t you overly-bothered? Your dream: no upset from me, sure it’s a bit graphic but then so is life! I disagree with censorship. Anyway, goodness knows, you protected your daughter, I guess that’s the main thing. But how he excluded you, made you feel he didn’t need or want you even for the most basic, loving things. I guess he was taking ‘self-love’ to a rather daft conclusion! Jerk (off). Sorry, trying to make you smile and I just end up being smutty! :roll:
GFN no way is anyone alone with weird dreams and that includes you.
Mud, can’t resist a triple dog-dare :D , I’m going to make a drama out of your dream. Your dream is telling you that your wife isn’t telepathic. But you want her to anticipate your deep-seated need for the baby-comfort-food that is Cheerios (haha hope you can hear my terrible German accent here, monocle in squinty-eye).
Babies can’t ask for what they want and when food magically appears when they are hungry, they think their Mamma is telepathic (okay not quite, but stay with me). We’d all like our partners to anticipate our needs and fulfil them without us asking them (“I expect you just to know I want that! :x Why do I have to tell you all the time?”).
Unfortunately our partners aren’t our mothers or fathers. (Darn! Or – thank goodness!) And they don’t automatically know what we want. We have to be adult and ask for what we want, either by adding the Cheerios to the list or voicing it. And this feels a bit negative….because actually we want to be loved….and adding to the list is very mechanical, there’s no love in it, so…..(still reading huh?)…..
What do Cheerios represent and are they that important? Or would you rather say, “I’m having a tough time in my head right now, I’m remembering some stuff about my childhood and, well, I need a bit of extra love please. Can I have some? Lovely. And while you’re at it, Cheerios make me feel loved too. But I don’t want to have to ask for them, because that’s like I’m asking for love. And if have to ask for it, you’re giving it in response, instead of loving me unconditionally and spontaneously. So what I’d really like is for you to know what my favourite comfort foods and take care to have them when I’m feeling a bit low. I’ll tell you what those foods are, and when I’m feeling low. Would you do this for me please?” (This is not that over the top. With a bit of reading and joint therapy, or just love and acceptance I guess.)
Then you ask what you can do for her. And if she doesn’t know, reciprocate with those random acts of love and kindness. Flowers when it’s not a special occasion. A night out for no special reason other than that you love her. A love note stuck to the fridge. Etc.
Okay, I’m not doing that again over a box of Cheerios! That’s probably all first-rate garbage but it came out of my fingers so –bleurgh – whack it on the board and you are free to point at it and laugh. It sounded good in my head, now it looks…bare and vulnerable. Hey-ho, I dinna worry :D love, P
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(((((((((October))))))))))) didn't see your post when I was busy doing exactly what Mud challenged us (me?) to do. I think he was joking in his roll-in-the-mud way but that was my impression. I see you might take it personally. Can't answer for Mud here but just wanted to say one of the old 4 agreements....(I have to keep it in mind, I often feel rejected here, still, but that's my problem):
What others do is not because of you
Take heart October, you know you're okay, I know you're okay. Not everyone is deliberately trying to hurt us but sometimes we look for sign of it and find it (whether the intention to hurt exists or not). Hope that makes sense.....love, P
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How are you doing October? Just seeing if you're around. I just ate some expensive salmon thing I bought yesterday for £1.60 reduced from £4.99. It tasted okay but now I'm wondering if I'm going to be ill. I always do this - only buy food 'treats' when they are half-price or about to go off. Does this mean I'm unable to give myself full-price goodies because I think I'm not worth it? Or am I just being frugal? Ee gads, it's repeating on me :shock: sorry for that rather fishy burp just then. Still tastes okay though. *burp* oopsie...
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Tender-Hearted October,
I'm going to agree with P (is that you Portia or Patz or someone else? Sorry :oops: ) that Mudpup was not directing anything at you, but just having some fun in his roll in the mud way. We all know that many of us have some very disturbing and hurtful dreams that leave us drained in the morning. I am speaking for him, but I do not think he meant any disrespect.
(((((((October))))))))
Brigid
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Hiya Brigid, 'twas Portia in P mode, still burping. But it is after lunchtime here, in case you thought I might be eating fish for breakfast, oh yuk...
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Good Morning all:
Hi October:
How are ya this morning? I just want to let you know that I always enjoy reading your dream interpretations and I appreciate you taking the time to do them. I think you put a lot of yourself and your feelings into doing that and it is really cool and shows a bit of a gift (my opinion). You have taught me that my dreams are often/probably about me (never.....even.....thought.....to ...consider that idea before but it makes complete sense to me now :oops: ).
There are so many ways to read dreams, aren't there? Each person will have their own ideas. I think this is a great thing because it gets us all using our thinkers and putting down the thoughts that come from reflection. Honestly, I don't think anyone here would mean to make fun of that. These dreams we are all --(the serious ones--not the chincilla ones that SOME people have :D :D )--these dreams are our deepest stuff coming out and sometimes it might be a bit embarassing to reveal that (??). It might be easier to make a joke of it, while posting such a dream, rather than show our vunerability. Or it may be confusing and seem rather funny, until we think about it more, which is what happened to me with that first weird dream I posted about the mortgages and stuff.
Hope you are having a wonderful morning October!
Hey......Mud......you slippery, little steam-gilled-roll-your-eyes-double-dog-daring-dude! Were you kidding around or what about wanting your weird dream interpreted?
You kid around a lot here so I'm going to assume you were kidding. But I'm not taking on that double-dog dare because I think Portia already did a fine job of it!! (Great job P!!! 8) ). There's no way I can top that!!
As for me, I did it again. I had a dream. I heard myself telling myself in my dream......"This is a great dream to remember". Ofcourse, I don't remember a thing after that thought (frustration icon please)!! But.....I felt good when I woke up and it seems like it was a nice one, so that's a bonus. :roll:
GFN
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:oops: :oops: :oops:
After lunch there eh P? :oops: :oops: :oops:
Here I am posting my "Good Morning" s all the time. :oops:
What time does it say at the top of your post? My last one says: "9:50 am". This what happens when one is pc illiterate. I have no idea why I thought we were all being magically put into the same pc-time zone. Duh!!!
Double Duh!!!
Good after lunch, Portia. Sorry about the fish! :( I truly can totally empathize because I became very ill, one time, after eating fish (not the poor fishy's fault) and was hospitalized for 3 weeks. I was only allowed strange jello-like material, skim milk (which turns my tummy), and apple juice....the entire time. The only thing I took in was the apple juice and every time I burped, for 3 whole weeks, all I could taste was.....fish.
I'm not much of a fish-eater now adays and that happened when I was 8 years old!!! So I have great sympathy/empathy for your fish-burps and I hope it's just a slight bit of indigestion or an ornery little fish--nothing worse I hope!!! :D
GFN
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GFN, 3 weeks :shock: in hospital after fish? At age 8? Is that a traumatic experience or what :( . I'm not surprised you steer clear these days. That must have been awful. And you don't even blame the fish :D
I'm quite enjoying my salmon, over and over it seems, but I am on my own so it's okay. And they're healthy burps! okay, enough already. You liked my cod(groan)-analysis of mud's dream? I think I got way carried away, but thanks 8)
I'm GMT (+ 4/5/6?) but I don't take umbridge (there's an old word) at your good mornings, if it's morning for you, I enjoy it. Here's a funny thing, I'm sure (I think) I saw the board time hop up an hour earlier on today. Was it catching up with daylight saving? Maybe I had a micro-sleep for an hour instead. Who knows.
Think I've yakked for enough today though (again :oops: ) and it's time I went to the library. Shame about not remembering your good dream, drats! I've done that, frustrating. Okay, I'm away, take care GFN and all...portia
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October,
I was definitely not thinking of you or anyone in particular when I made my triple dog dare. If I was making fun of anybody it was myself.
I mean, first I complain that I can't remember any dreams.
Then I remember one significant dream and follow it up with one that I probably had because I went to bed without a snack to tide me over til morning. I was just trying to emphasize the mundane nature of it compared to the dreams other people post here.
Please, please, please forgive me if I inadvertantly hurt your feelings. :oops: :cry: :oops: I'm really, really sorry. The thought never crossed my mind that this was directed at anyone besides myself.
I feel like a total heel. :(
mudpuppy
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3 weeks in hospital after fish? At age 8? Is that a traumatic experience or what . I'm not surprised you steer clear these days. That must have been awful. And you don't even blame the fish.
Yes, it was very traumatic and it wasn't the fish's fault at all. I had a throat infection that was not treated and became septic. It caused my kidneys to just about shut down (the infection caused them to become diseased) and so threw my whole "system" out. I had been losing fish from both ends for a couple of days before I was taken to the doc, who immediately hospitalized me.
Back then they used huge syringes full of antibiotics?--to treat me. I remember that nurse coming in, 4 times per day, with those huge needles and having them jammed into my thigh! (I can stil feel the pain of it if I think about it--so it must have been very traumatic for me). I dreaded those needles!!
The worst was not the lack of food/starvation I was feeling, or the terrible pain from the needles, or even the nasty nurse that brought my tray of "food" and snarled: "You better eat it all this time!!" each time (or something similar). The worst part of it all, I think, was the lonliness and the boredom. Nothing to do. All alone (or I felt that way because my room mate, had her own little tv hanging from an arm--off the wall-- but turned it away from my bed or pulled her curtains closed--so I couldn't see it. I remember that she was really mean. Wished I at least had a book to look at.
I lived. Maybe I developed my imagination more fully then (and my stubborness). I didn't cry when they gave me those needles, I never responded to that nasty nurse, and I didn't eat the "material" on the tray. When I was finally allowed to eat again....guess what they brought me?
A cold boiled hotdog with no condiments. It was the best thing I ever tasted in my entire life!!! :D
Have a great time at the library P. I love the library. Go there a lot. Books are the best!!!
An old, old man I spoke with told me: "You'll never be lonely as long as you have a good book to read."
What a wise guy eh? 8)
GFN
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Portia,
I guess I should have kept my big mouth shut for two reasons. Not only did I stupidly hurt October's feelings, you took my dare and I must admit there is something to what you said.
Your dream is telling you that your wife isn’t telepathic.
Well actually she is. About half the time that I come into a room to say something to her she answers me before I even say a word. Its kind of disconcerting.
This part also may or may not seem credble, but in fifteen years we have never really had a fight. I don't even know if we have ever raised our voices with each other. But we do have one or two areas of low grade irritation. One of which is her repeated appeals to me to put things on her list when they are either getting low or gone. I must confess to being quite guilty in this respect.
Could it be I'm not just being a knothead when I don't put things on the list, but actually have a lot of deep seated childhood attachments to Cheerios?
Possibly, but my vote is for the knothead explanation first.
I do however like your suggestions about random acts of kindness. :)
Think I'll go put a note on the fridge for her. :wink:
Thanks Portia.
mudpup
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Not only did I stupidly hurt October's feelings...
Just for the record, Mud, I believe you when you say you meant only to make fun of yourself with your post. I don't think you did anything stupid. You just posted about your dream.
Maybe October read something different/got a different impression and her feelings were hurt.
You've appologized for that happening and taken the blame for it.
My bet is I'm not the only one who sees that.
Now.......if you could just let go of your attachment to Cheerios? It could be worse, you know. It could be...........
Count Dracula Cocoa Puffs!!!
or help us all........
Scarios!!! :evil: :evil:
GFN
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Hi October:
Just wanted to say I am thinking about you too and hoping you are doing ok or even better!!
You said you were feeling "vunerable".
I feel naked when I feel vunerable. Exposed. Like everyone is looking at my bits and parts. It's like being in a display case at a giant fair, or in a museum, or something, except no one is placing ribbons on me, only looking for flaws. I don't like that feeling very much.
It's good that you are able to recognize that you are feeling that way and speak up for yourself. That's a really good thing. At least you're not paralyzed and speachless!!! Or terrified or numb!!!
Let us know how you are doing, if you can please?
((((((((October))))))))
GFN
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Hi GFN,
Thanks for your comments.
I meant it was stupid in that I made a kind of pointless wise crack that I should have seen could be taken differently than I meant it.
I sometimes do the same thing to my perfect little wifey. I'll say something that I intend to be self deprecating and she will think I mean it toward her. :roll: :oops: This usually leads to not so random acts of love and kindness.
What you claim to do, although I've never actually seen it, I really do. That is frequently put my clod hoppers in my mouth. And they are relatively large, while my mouth is only regulation size= tight fit, hard to remove. :?
:roll: :oops:
What the heck is a Scario?
mudpup
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Aww, ((((((((((October)))))))))), aww, ((((((((((mud))))))))))
October, I know so well what it's like to feel slighted and hurt, even here where it's so safe and where nobody means to slight or hurt me ever.
Mud, I know what it's like to say something in fun and then realize you've just wounded someone very kind and well-meaning and never meant to in the world.
This truly is a safe place... I've looked at so many boards and chat groups, and I've never seen a place like this, where people really deeply respect each other and don't want to hurt each other and feel awful when it happens. But even a safe place doesn't always feel safe. The difference is that when we feel hurt here we can say so, and instead of snarling at us and telling us to get over it, people stop and listen and care.
October, we love you and we don't want you to hurt. Mud, this board wouldn't be the same without you either, which is guy-talk for the same thing I just told October, if my 'guy phrasebook' is still up to date.
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This one is really something. I have to tell you about the falling asleep part before the dream, because it's important, the boundary between dream and waking was absolutely imperceptible. This dream happened to me two years ago.
I was living in an apartment building in which I felt very frustrated (noisy neighbors, poor maintenance) and increasingly unhappy (noisy neighbors, poor maintenence) and was really apprehensive and upset about having to move again (retaliatory 40% rent increase because I complained about the poor maintenance).
I was trying to get to sleep, and feeling very frightened. So, I visualized the Holy Family keeping vigil over me. I'm not sure why I visualized them instead of angels, but I did.
I drifted into sleep with a very clear sense that they were really there and that I was really safe. All of a sudden, the roof disappeared. And Death - skeletal, austere, in full Grim Reaper regalia - reached down, picked me up, and lifted me up to where he was standing in midair on exactly nothing (it must be nice to be a Jungian archetype and get those perks). With his hands on my shoulders, he looked directly into my eyes (don't ask how I could tell, I have no idea) and asked permission to kiss me. My nightgown (whidh happened to be white) fluttered around my calves in the breeze, and I could see the lights below our feet, tops of trees, cars, etc.
Instead of being utterly terrified, I felt utterly loved, and sensed that this was the most important decision I had ever been asked to make. [added on edit: I did ask if kissing him meant that I would die, because I didn't want to leave my cats (!) and he said, no, I wouldn't die. His voice was very quiet and a little sad when he said that, since of course he could understand my fear.]
So I said, yes. And he very gently pressed cool teeth to my lips. So help me, I could feel the coolness, feel the ridges of those teeth, and there was nothing revolting in it at all. He smelt of glaciers and pine.
Then he stepped back, and before my eyes was transformed into the most handsome man I have ever seen, dressed like a knight errant, in the Ephesians armor, with the helmet slung back behind. He took my hands in his and wept; and I found myself gowned in brilliant yellow, crowned with a wreath of beautiful yellow daylilies, and standing with him in a stately garden, just at daybreak, with Christ himself there to administer our wedding vows, and Joseph and Mary to witness.
I woke up feeling utterly, truly, completely and fully loved. Not an ounce of fear, not a second of premonition. Just love. [added on edit: And loving back. As though someone real had in fact truly become the dearest part of my life!]
OK - I really want to know what this means. It is full of Jungian symbolism, but I don't know enough to fully interpret it. Am I not merely making peace with my mortality, but embracing it, and thus wedding myself to immortality?
Please, let me know what you all think. When I am really discouraged, I remember this dream and it gives me the strength to go on.
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Hi Stormy,
I hope you'll understand if I don't say much except, cool dream. 8)
I know some Henny Youngman material but not too much Jungian stuff. :?
Wasn't Jung the guy the Steelers took after the Packers drafted that Freud washout?
mud
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Hi and good morning all.
Longtire, what colour were the tunnels? They were spongy? Sounds to me like you’re getting ready for a re-birth. Into the light, only this time, you’re in control. And you’re re-birthing from the maze of your brain, not the, er, :? usual parts of anatomy. Wonderful dream! :D
i love this one too. very good imagery longtire! :)
What do Cheerios represent and are they that important? Or would you rather say, “I’m having a tough time in my head right now, I’m remembering some stuff about my childhood and, well, I need a bit of extra love please.
maybe he would like to be 'cheered up' :wink:
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Freud so, mud. Actually, they got Jung - and - Foolish...! They wanted Jung and Impressionable, but Impressionable ended up with the Colts.
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Thanks Stormy, I needed that.
maybe he would like to be 'cheered up'
Yes Anna I would. Thanks to you and Stormy I am a little. :wink:
mud
Back to my watery lair.
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fish for breakfast, oh yuk...
Oh now, we really do have transatlantic crossed wires, P. I eat kippers for breakfast sometimes! Learned to love them in Yurp (as we call it in the States) and now I eat them for the omega-3 fatty acids... as well as for love.
but I should also confess that it takes me about 2 hours to get hungry in the morning, so I get up and potchky around for a couple hours, then eat my kippers. or whatever. So it probably isn't really 'breakfast' by then.
Also got into grilling tomatoes. Mmmmm.
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I was trying to get to sleep, and feeling very frightened. So, I visualized the Holy Family keeping vigil over me. I'm not sure why I visualized them instead of angels, but I did.
I drifted into sleep with a very clear sense that they were really there and that I was really safe. All of a sudden, the roof disappeared. ........
I woke up feeling utterly, truly, completely and fully loved. Not an ounce of fear, not a second of premonition. Just love. [added on edit: And loving back. As though someone real had in fact truly become the dearest part of my life!]
OK - I really want to know what this means. It is full of Jungian symbolism, but I don't know enough to fully interpret it. Am I not merely making peace with my mortality, but embracing it, and thus wedding myself to immortality?
Please, let me know what you all think. When I am really discouraged, I remember this dream and it gives me the strength to go on.
boy i miss a lot here when im gone a couple days..... i want to say i hope october is feeling better...... ((october))
now stormchild! yow. that dream, fits into what i would call the Epic Dream category! ive had dreams like that, to me they are Epic Dreams. technicolor stuff.
one time i was camping in my car and dreamed that the roof of the car came off and i could see all these images swirling in the sky above me. I could see all the wars that have been fought throughout history and all the human drama and the millions of lives lost and death and blood and stuff, shining in between this huge vault of stars. it was amazing.
now your dream.... i just dont know what it means, except what you said. i like jungian stuff usually myself and relate to archetypal things. dreams that powerful, are so intensely personal that they are beyond interpretation sometimes, just the feelings are enough..... i think that was a realy cool dream and what you said about it was probably about right....
some dreams are 'beyond' even regular interpretation......they are almost visions.. that was a very cool one.......
take care, anna
oh and i saw you talking about green tea on another thread with longtire. you know i drink green tea, but decaf. i didnt know it had in it whatever you said that it did. so thanks :}
cya
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The worst part of it all, I think, was the lonliness and the boredom. Nothing to do. All alone (or I felt that way because my room mate, had her own little tv hanging from an arm--off the wall-- but turned it away from my bed or pulled her curtains closed--so I couldn't see it. I remember that she was really mean. Wished I at least had a book to look at.
hi gfn. poopy roommate! and no books???? what were they thinking?! books were my lifeline as a kid.
I lived. Maybe I developed my imagination more fully then (and my stubborness)...
An old, old man I spoke with told me: "You'll never be lonely as long as you have a good book to read."
im glad you pulled thru stronger and never ate your 'material'. go gfn!
anna
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Hiya Stormy:
Am I not merely making peace with my mortality, but embracing it, and thus wedding myself to immortality?
I really hope October will come back here soon and interpret this one because I really think she will do a great job.
As for my ideas......hummmmmmm. You were very frustrated and upset, feeling unsafe, etc as you fell asleep, so you envisioned the Holy family to feel safe. Then, you meet cold, scarey death and kiss him, only after he says you won't die. He turns into Mr. Right and you marry him with Christ's blessing, and Mary and Joseph as witnesses.
First.....since you envisioned the Holy family for relief, it makes sense that it was provided through this dream. I think you are quite right that it will always bring you strength to think of it.
Second....you don't sound as if you were afraid of death at all. Yet you believed Mr. Death himself. Odd?? You trusted his word.. while feeling his cold teeth. Not an easy accomplishment, so this makes me think that you are drawing your strength from your belief...from within. It wasn't planted there by this dream. It was drawn upon because you needed it.
Third......You Mr. Death turns into Mr. Right. Ok....you have even weirder dreams than I do...sometimes. I can't even make sense of this part.
Last.....the Holy family attend your wedding to Mr. Right (who was Mr. Death). They are both the same. :shock: Now I get it! And your everlasting life will be happily ever after, and there is nothing to fear because look who will be there to celebrate with you!! :D
If you ever were afraid of death, I bet you aren't now. But I think you are at peace with your immortality. Your mortality is still the same. You still get scared. You still have doubts. You still feel alone and lost and very human. But all you have to do is recall this lovely dream and you feel much, much better! 8)
Only you know if this is anywhere near feeling close....I'm just guessing.
This dream is a gift, imo. :!:
Anna: That dream about the roof coming off the car. It seems like part of you came off and you saw all the wars and stuff way above you, in the stars, swirling. You say it was amazing. Wow!!! Was that before or after all this stuff happened re. your daughter?
Thankyou for your thoughts about my hospital stay. That room mate was really poopy, as you say. I remember some of the things she said to me (the few times she did speak to me), and they were really cruel. Thank goodness she went home soon enough and I had the room to myself. Although, I remember wishing a nice kid would be put in that bed, but it didn't happen. Just as well. I didn't really want a nice kid to be sick and in hospital.
Mudpup: (((((((Mudpup))))))
Ok....you might look ok in fishnets and wonderstuff....and oh...by the way...
You may think you have feet in mouth disease like me but you will never...never....catch up!! I got cereal mixed up with pasta. Scarios are little canned pasta thingys, made by Heinz (like Zoodles). In tomato sauce. So they aren't nearly as scarey as Count Dracula Chocoa Puffs because no one in their right mind would eat them for breakfast. :shock:
No one cannot say everything perfectly Mud, it's impossible. Your sense of humour is a joy, so don't quit making wacky remarks. I'm sure you make up for any misunderstandings with plenty of random kind acts of sincere love. So far from what I see you do. And I read your words about "sometimes when I look at my wife..." and I wanted to post how beautiful that is and how blessed you are to have found someone you feel so much emotion for. That is about as wonderful as life gets!! But I remembered what you had said about not hijacking important threads where people might be looking for their teeth so I restrained myself, for once. 8)
Thankyou Muddy. You are a sweet soul who thinks of others as much as humanly possible without being perfect. Just as humbling as an hero I can think of. It may sound like a fish story but it's not. :D I hope you're feeling cheerier by now.
Speaking of which.....Portia, Stormy. I must say I would rather try to eat marmite on toast than fish for breakfast. But that's just me. :roll:
GFN
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Thanks GFN!
I think tonight I will try to make myself have a very tactile dream about force-feeding your narsty little hospital room-mate marmite on fish. for breakfast.
what an ordeal you went through. gah.
*******
Thanks for your thoughts on my dream, too. Funny that Death was able to just reach down and lift me up with JMJ watching over me - and then they turned up again in the most supportive roles possible. And I was never afraid for a second, during that dream. I just didn't want to leave my cats behind with nobody to care for them(!).
Yep. It feels like a blessing and a half, this dream does.
:D :D :D
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I think tonight I will try to make myself have a very tactile dream about force-feeding your narsty little hospital room-mate marmite on fish. for breakfast.
Oh!! Stormy would you?? And that big mean rotten nurse too? Man she was awful!!
Thanks Stormy.
I hope everyone has a sweet dream tonight.
Yawwwwwwwwn!! Holey Moley 12:51 a.m. here.
Nighty night all!!
GFN
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Hey Stormy,
Marmite on fish FOR BREAKFAST? eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Anyhoo, don't know much about dreams but strange as it may seem dreaming of death is a good thing. It usually means change/ transformation in your life or within yourself and is very life-affirming. Wierdly enough dreaming of weddings is usually quite negative! But the most important thing in a dream is the feelings you have, which were all good, so cool dream!
2cents
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Third......You Mr. Death turns into Mr. Right.
sounds like some boyfriends i have had 8)
Anna: That dream about the roof coming off the car. It seems like part of you came off and you saw all the wars and stuff way above you, in the stars, swirling. You say it was amazing. Wow!!! Was that before or after all this stuff happened re. your daughter?
this was years and years ago, when my life was mine and i was free. i was actually camping high up on a mountain in the bay area, called mt. tamalpais which is supposed to be a holy spot for the indigenous peoples that had been there. i used to have large amounts of incredibly rich and varied dreams, lots of which were visionary or predicted things very accurately. i really really miss having such wonderful dreams. all i have is nightmares now, becuase my dreams are so very accurate reflections of my inner self and things that are happening.
it drives me nuts, beucase my brain is faithfullly telling me exactly whats going on, but NOBODY LISTENS........... but you cant really control your dreams too well. they just tell you whats there. so.... lots of very accurate nightmares.
you talked about 'fearing death' with stormchilds dream: when i was 20, and got hit by that car, it gave me a 'near death experience'. i floated way up over my body and really actually felt like i had died, for quite some time. to this day, i am not sure that im not dead. you know, how would i tell. i could be dreaming all of this right now.
im totally not kidding when i say that. how could you tell? it gave me a lot of room to philosophise about what is life, what is death, what is dreaming.
in the end i figured its all labels. either you are expreiencing things, or not. here i am experiencing stuff. guess it doesnt matter what i call it. sure gave me a different perspective on things, and very much made me both lose fear of death, but also really appreciate the real preciousness of life.
this 'now' is so precious, and what i feel makes it most precious is what we choose to share and create with others. im with others here, you create your own light in this life. no matter how many family and stuff you have, in the end it comes down to you and what you choose to create.
that experience was very strong.. and sometimes i wonder if it didnt contribute to my incredibly vibrant dream life, which is biting me in the butt right now by giving me these unmistakable relentless nightmares. :evil:
Thankyou for your thoughts about my hospital stay.
3 weeks at age 8.......... mean nurse.. big needless....material.... good gawd. i guess you were fortunate to pull through, it sounded pretty serious... :{{
re: mudpuppy -
And I read your words about "sometimes when I look at my wife..." and I wanted to post how beautiful that is and how blessed you are to have found someone you feel so much emotion for.
i felt the very same way. wish more dads were like that. i wonder if hes into adopting a 40 year old. im kinda cute in a very aged and stressed out way. :?
g'night - take care all dreamers.
anna
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just another crazy one:
heres one of the weirdest dreams i had. it doesnt really need interpreting, it happened many years ago, but it was just a wild dream.
i was at a birthday party for myself.
the room was full of hundreds of peopel singing happy birthday to me. i was at the front of the room and people wanted me to step up onto a podium and accept a big birthday cake that was just for me.
just as i stepped up onto the podium to accept my cake, i noticed that 'i' was also standing at the back of the room. i was at the front of the room and the back at the same time. the me in the back of the room had a big shotgun. precisely at the moment that i accepted the cake, the 'me' in the back of the room shot the 'me' at the front of the room - directly between the eyes.
now that was a werid experience. the feeling was a spiritual one rather than a malicious one. it was not scary. it felt like transformative. but still... just writing it i can think of lots of things it could have 'meant'.
gfn - what a thread you started here. :!: im working up to sharing my nigihtmares. i need someone to talk about them to. but, they are graphic and disturbing so they need some time to edge into.
peace folks
anna
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Stormchild, kippers and grilled tomatoes are definitely permitted :D . Except for the smell! In fact, some eat smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for breakfast, which I haven’t tried. I have enough trouble with eggs (memories of biology lessons and talking about the stringy bit that holds the yolk to the edges…). So yes, fish for breaky in Yurp, along with many other strange concoctions.
About your dream, ‘wow’. I doubt any earthly regular guy could ever match up, which might be sad but then again, you have some vision to look forward to in another life maybe. Amazing dream.
Hey! :idea: Isn’t it odd how we have this really clear cultural image of Death, the Grim Reaper (Monty Python again, Death at the dinner party)….but ……we don’t have any similar image for LIFE? Ain’t that a shame?
And what does Mr Death represent – the moment when life ceases, (how tiny is that moment, a second, a milli-second…?.) or something after that, something which goes on and on? If Coca Cola had worked on Death :D , would He (he? :wink: ) wear a red suit? Haha! Sorry, a serious subject and I can’t help going off into joke-land. Sorry. I can never keep the seriousness up. :roll:
October, GFN, Mud, Anna, everyone….best to all, I’m posted out today (it’s waiting in Word in case you think, what?) and I want to get back to my latest Margaret Atwood book ‘Oryx and Crake’, which is pretty depressing but riveting too. Good trip to the library GFN, I bet you’ve read Atwood inside out? P
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Hey Portia
I was thinking just a few mins ago. In that dream, what should have been the kiss of death for me was actually the kiss of life! for both parties involved. life itself for him, and life renewed for me.
wild, huh. maybe that wedding was an image of life???
yummy. after signing off last night I went and ate kippers for my late night snack. Now I have this strong yearning for herring and onions in cream sauce - we get it here imported from Denmark I think.
enjoy your reading Portia! Isn't Margaret Atwood Kenneth Millar's widow? He wrote very psychological detective novels as Ross MacDonald... good, but always terribly sad.
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Hiya Storm :D , bringing death to life, that's boggling me now!
Don't know if it's the same Atwood - is it this one? http://encycl.opentopia.com/term/Margaret_atwood
P okay I've gone now :roll: :arrow:
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Woo Portia, the more I think the wilder it gets.
At the heart of Christianity there is a very strong belief that death was transformed into life... by the greatest love of all.
Jeez Louise.
Yep, it looks like the same Margaret Atwood.
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Back again, solving my own mystery now! Don't think it's the same lady, Margaret Millar looks like a crime writer from her biblio http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/authors/Margaret_Millar.htm whereas Atwood writes about gene-splicing and the fate of the human race (and it's dark stuff). The Handmaid's Tale is enough to touch any woman to tears - a future society where women are used as...well..let's just say it made me cry. And her stuff is a thinly-veiled reflection of what actually, factually, goes on in the world today. Which makes it more dark. Child-trafficking and the like. Like Leonard Cohen, so black you have to laugh occasionally! If you haven't tried Atwood, pleeeease do, great stuff. Clever, the Canadians.
About life and death and love. I was wondering if you ever had a calling? Seriously, I was wondering that. But then where would you be called to - not a regular outfit for sure. An irregular one. And this ain't my territory, but I wonder! sweet dreams tonight Storm (time check: 6.25 pm Brit's summer time and yes, it's sunny 8) ) Portia
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P, you're absolutely right - Margaret Millar died in 1994. Can't possibly be the same lady. Weird. I wonder how I got them confused? I've been under that (mis)impression since The Handmaid's Tale was published. :?: :?:
sound of one hand scratcing head, bemusedly.
thanks! it's good to get one's facts straight. :D :D
Storm
PS I love Robertson Davies, & Stephen Leacock
[scratches head madly in all directions]
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Let us know how you are doing, if you can please?
((((((((October))))))))
GFN
Hiya all. I am fine, thanks for asking. Actually, I am not fine, but I am doing a damned fine act, and nobody would know if I didn't say so. Mudpup already knows this as we are such good friends ((((Muddy)))), but to briefly let you all know the situation I have been trying to contact my ex for several days to let C speak to him. C said she was worried in case he was lying dead on the floor of his flat, after seeing him collapse here a month or so ago. :(
So finally yesterday I rang his parents to ask whether they know how/where he is. His dad told me that ex has been in hospital for three weeks, and that he thought ex had told me. :?
So, rang hospital and spoke to the nurse, who did not know that ex has and ex and daughter to keep informed. I made it clear that ex's parents are not his next of kin; our daughter is. The nurse said he is very poorly, but not critical at present, and that he is sleeping a lot of the time. Then spoke to ex and he sounded dreadful. I asked, why did you not tell us where you are, and he sounded very groggy and not all there, and said, what form did you want? I'll send it to you. Took a good while to get through to him. Not reassuring.
I have arranged to take C to visit on Sunday. It is about 120 miles or so each way, but I should be able to do it, I think. :(
I have emailed my brothers, my dad and my cousin to let them know. We visited my parents, and they said they had got the email, but said nothing else at all. My dad said perhaps ex didn't tell us because he didn't want us to worry. (This may sound weird but my dad identifies with my ex in some weird way and is always defending his very bizarre world view to me; telling me that I am unreasonable in one way or another. No idea what kind of incest is going on there!!!)
No reply from either brother, but that is normal. Cousin will probably respond with support, though.
So, not a good time. Sorry if anyone was worried. Whoops!! Completely off thread. Erm - it wasn't a dream. :oops: :oops:
xxxxx
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Then he stepped back, and before my eyes was transformed into the most handsome man I have ever seen, dressed like a knight errant, in the Ephesians armor, with the helmet slung back behind. He took my hands in his and wept; and I found myself gowned in brilliant yellow, crowned with a wreath of beautiful yellow daylilies, and standing with him in a stately garden, just at daybreak, with Christ himself there to administer our wedding vows, and Joseph and Mary to witness.
Please, let me know what you all think. When I am really discouraged, I remember this dream and it gives me the strength to go on.
Your dream reminds me of a poem by Adelaide Anne Proctor, a young friend of Charles Dickens.
Why shouldst thou fear the beautiful angel, Death,
Who waits thee at the portal of the skies,
Ready to kiss away thy struggling breath,
Ready with gentle hand to close thine eyes?
Oh what were life, if life were all? Thine eyes
Are blinded by their tears, or thou wouldst see
Thy treasures wait thee in the far-off skies
And Death, thy friend, will give them all to thee.
For what it is worth, :oops: :oops: :oops: I think the angel is your guardian angel, and the wedding was more than a wedding. The angel became your protector (which is what a husband ought properly to be), and Saint Joseph and Our Lady were not just witnesses; they stood in loci parentis.
In one way this is a comforting vision, but in another way it reveals the distance you feel from the people around you. It is not safe to look for comfort here, so we find it in the spiritual realm.
In Iconography a pure yellow colour symbolises truth, and the lily is a pretty well universal symbol of purity.
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Wow, thanks for the feedback, October!
It feels absolutely true.
I have never seen that poem; thank you for blessing me with it.
How odd, that yellow should signify truth, and that's the grail I've followed all my life, or tried to. Wow.
Thank you.....
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Wanted to post this separately. I'm sorry to hear about your x's situation. Also sorry that your dad identifies more with your x's selfishness than his own child's pain... par for the course, dagnabbit.
((((((((((October))))))))))
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((((October))))
Sorry to hear that both you and your daughter are going through such a difficult time right now.
Glad to see you back.
Mia
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How's about listening to one of my dreams? This was from last night.
I dreamt I was in the city (born there, moved when I was 6 to suburbs). I found myself as an adult walking through narrow courtyards that interconnected numerous row homes. As I was walking through these courtyards and alleyways I noticed that the majority of homes still had their Christmas decorations in place. During the dream I kept looking on the ground at dozens of extension cords strewn all over the place. I was wondering why none of the folks had taken down their decorations.
Next thing I know I am now in some sort of waiting room. It reminded me of a doctor's waiting room. My best pal from HS (I see her regularly) was their with her son (5). Turns out we were waiting for the start of her son's birthday party. It was going to be a thirty minute wait. At this point I told my friend that my kids would need to use the potty since it was such a long ride to this place. She informed me there wasn't a bathroom. My thoughts: My kids are going to wet their pants...they can't wait thirty minutes for a party to begin and then wait through the party until I can find a place with a bathroom.
Suddenly, I realize we didn't think to bring a gift. I was mortified. Where can I get a gift? There weren't any stores around. The dream ended.
I find the part about the bathroom amusing since I am so neurotic about public restrooms. I avoid them like the plaque and prefer that my kids don't use them.
Any and all feedback is welcome.
Thanks
Mia
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HI all:
October:
Sorry things are so hard right now. It will be tough for a bit. Tha's a long way to travel....drive carefully, if you're driving. Imagine a big, stone wall around you and your daughter. Very strong, very safe, very solid. Don't let the crap in.
Safe journey. :D (((((((October and Daughter)))))))
Glad you're ok!
P: Good trip to the library GFN, I bet you’ve read Atwood inside out?
Glad it was good and nope, can't say I've read much of her. Probably should. I tend to go for history or historical novels and stuff. It takes me forever to read a book because I don't spend much time (1/2 hour or less per day). Naughty me eh? :oops: The day's just not long enough. I like to hear what time it is there where you are.
6.25 pm Brit's summer time and yes, it's sunny 8)
The post time I see is 1:25 pm, which is waaaaaaay off. Glad it's sunny there. It is here too!
Hi Mia: Interesting dream. Thanks for sharing. Wonder what it all means? I'm waiting to see what others think.
Anna: Nightmares are nasty and scary and often very upsetting. Share as you feel comfy. Maybe put some kind of big warning (large coloured print or something) at the beginning, if it will be graphic (and people can decide to read or skip over--as they see fit).
Last night I had a dumb dream not worth even describing. Sometimes I think those kind of dreams are just our brains excercising a bit. Brain aerobics? Well...not really because it wasn't strenuous. Maybe....pilates? Stretching a little. I don't know. Weird. :roll:
GFN
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October,
Mudpup already knows this as we are such good friends ((((Muddy)))),
Thanks for the hugs, gurlfrannddd. :wink: :D
I've got one hand on my hip and I'm snapping my other fingers while wagging my head side to side while I say that. :D :shock:
I think that's how you gals do it. Someone Let me know if I'm leaving anything out.
(((((October and D)))))
mudpup
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dagnabbit.
((((((((((October))))))))))
What a superb word!!!!!! I am going to use that as a swear word to myself whenever my dad starts going off on one.
:lol: Dagnabbit!!!!!!! :lol: <Imagines boulder falling from sky and squashing dad flat, as in Road Runner cartoons>
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Last night I had a dumb dream not worth even describing. Sometimes I think those kind of dreams are just our brains excercising a bit. Brain aerobics? Well...not really because it wasn't strenuous. Maybe....pilates? Stretching a little. I don't know. Weird. :roll:
GFN
Erm, dare I just point out that this is rather dismissive of something that part of you is trying to tell another part of you? If it was really that unimportant, why did you even mention it? Because there is dissonance somewhere, perhaps?
I might be wrong, because nobody is perfect (Ns excepted), but if your Hollywood producer brain went to all that trouble to create metaphor, imagery, script, lights, cameras and action, and you say it is not even worth describing, they may well go away and cry.
I am not familiar with the 'dreams as brain aerobics' theory, mind you. Perhaps this is a new school of thought.
:?
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I was wondering why none of the folks had taken down their decorations.
At this point I told my friend that my kids would need to use the potty since it was such a long ride to this place. She informed me there wasn't a bathroom. My thoughts: My kids are going to wet their pants...they can't wait thirty minutes for a party to begin and then wait through the party until I can find a place with a bathroom.
Suddenly, I realize we didn't think to bring a gift. I was mortified. Where can I get a gift? There weren't any stores around. The dream ended.
Mia
Hiya Mia
The first part seems to indicate that you wonder why all the rules are being broken. At the same time, you are alone, and in an environment which is not overtly hostile, but also not welcoming or friendly. There are lights, but they are not where you are; you are outside looking in. And they are breaking the rules.
While you are wondering this, you seem not to enjoy the sight of the bright lights, but worry instead about the wires and the electricity, and the fact that everyone else is wrong and you are right. You may well be right, but you can still enjoy the lights. Or perhaps it is Divali, or Eid, or some other festival. There is an element of judgment of others, though, which prevents you relaxing and enjoying yourself.
This theme continues in the next part, where you are waiting for a party. The waiting and looking forward is turned into anxiety instead, which prevents you from having fun, and relaxing.
Some part of you tries to stop you having a good time. In the first place by worrying about the rules and the electric cables. In the second place by worrying about a loo, and then a present.
The anxiety turns into inadequacy, because you have no gift. I have given loads of parties where people turn up with no gift; you don't send them away, you say, don't worry about it, glad you could come. But your interpretation seems to say, if you are inadequate you/your children are not welcome, or not allowed, at the party.
These seem to be the underlying themes. But they may be wrong.
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Thank you.....
You are welcome. :)
Forgot to say that Our Lord is in exactly the right place in your dream, officiating as the Great High Priest. You would be right, imo, to regard this as a great gift, perhaps even as a mystical vision. Why not?
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October, very happy to see you and so sorry to hear about your ex. I wish you good luck for the drive and hope the visit isn’t too traumatic for both of you. Very sad and tough times for you and C. Thinking of you.
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Hey October
Thanks for the feedback.
I think you have my number. I have my moments of being uptight and anxious.
Just wanted to clarify that in the dream the Christmas lights weren't lit up. The decorations looked to be weathered. The cords were laying on the ground but weren't hooked into the outlets.
This is probably completely unrelated but my son wet his bed last night (not common for him). Probably just a coincidence, right?
Mia
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Hello:
Erm, dare I just point out that this is rather dismissive of something that part of you is trying to tell another part of you?
You're right, October. Thanks for pointing that out.
If it was really that unimportant, why did you even mention it? Because there is dissonance somewhere, perhaps?
What happened was I had a partially bad day and then relived that part of the day again in my dream. It seemed a waste of good dream time to do that. I guess I mentioned it because I saw it as a positive thing that I am at least remembering some of my dreams. It would have been good to point that out.
I might be wrong, because nobody is perfect (Ns excepted), but if your Hollywood producer brain went to all that trouble to create metaphor, imagery, script, lights, cameras and action, and you say it is not even worth describing, they may well go away and cry.
Yes. I see what you mean. I must be excited about actually remembering my dreaming and expecting some bizzare, fantastic dreams to come along and give me something interesting to post about/ponder/gain insight from. The N in me, I guess, wanting important dreams. :oops: And the past replaying again....beating myself up for not having wonderful enough ones. :(
I am not familiar with the 'dreams as brain aerobics' theory, mind you. Perhaps this is a new school of thought.
It just seemed like my brain was excercising itself. Excercise is good for every other part of the body, so you're right again, why would I discount that?
Thanks, October.
GFN
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:lol: Dagnabbit!!!!!!! :lol: <Imagines boulder falling from sky and squashing dad flat, as in Road Runner cartoons>
Ya know, I think I got it from Yosemite Sam cartoons...
whenever 'dagnabbit' isn't enough you can also try this Yosemite Sam classic:
"Rassa frassa rackafracka!" mumbled under your breath.
:D :D :D
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I might be wrong, because nobody is perfect (Ns excepted), but if your Hollywood producer brain went to all that trouble to create metaphor, imagery, script, lights, cameras and action, and you say it is not even worth describing, they may well go away and cry.
Yes. I see what you mean. I must be excited about actually remembering my dreaming and expecting some bizzare, fantastic dreams to come along and give me something interesting to post about/ponder/gain insight from. The N in me, I guess, wanting important dreams. :oops: And the past replaying again....beating myself up for not having wonderful enough ones. :(
It just seemed like my brain was excercising itself. Excercise is good for every other part of the body, so you're right again, why would I discount that?
hey.... its not n'ish to want to have groovy dreams!!!!! they are fun. and yes part of what dreams do is 'work out' the kinks of stuff that happened in life. sometimes its earthshaking and sometims its banal, just like life... theres often a lot more there than peopel give themselves credit for, and our internal directors spend a lot of time crying i think....sometimes also.. a 'cigar is just a cigar'
dreaming is like artistic talent or being good at math or playing guitar or being good at sports. its just another thing in life that some people have aptitude for, that some peopel develop aptitude for, and some people never give a second thought. i will go to my grave without ever developing a talent for skydiving and you know what - i will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER miss it.
nothing wrong with any of that. if a person wanst to exercise up their 'dream muscles' its very possible and just something else fun in life to do, and some find extremely useful for learning about themselves inside. its kind of a form of yoga.
thats not n'ish to want to be better at something. :!:
:shock:
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Thanks ((((((Anna))))))
:D :D :D
GFN
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This is probably completely unrelated but my son wet his bed last night (not common for him). Probably just a coincidence, right?
Mia
My daughter used to do that when she was younger if she was going down with something - cough or cold or flu. It was an early indicator, several times. Just a thought. :?
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Hi all:
How about 3 dreams for the price of one??!!!
The first has a theme of charity, it seems. I dreamt of being in some kind of bus/big truck and making stops here and there. At each place I collected these rolls of money, which were about 2 inches diameter. There was a box on the floor, which was about a foot square. It was getting full of these rolls of money. Lot's of money in that box!!
Next, I was dropped off at my mother's house. (I haven't dreamt of my mother, since she died 15 years ago). Anyway, she didn't have a lot of money so I was bringing this box of it to her. She wanted me to drive her home(???). It was 1 a.m. but she wouldn't leave/go with me. I sat in the back seat of her car and played with my puppy until 3 a.m, when she finally came out and got into the car. I got in the drivers seat and started driving but I couldn't remember where she lived. I expressed this and she said: "I moved to a new area, remember?" and I suddenly remembered and drove there. I dropped her off and started walking back to the car, through an alley. I stopped to help a family wash their dishes. I helped an Italian family sort out their recycling stuff (for the recycle bin). There was much joy there, with children running around, lot's of happy chaos and good food. I could smell the Italian bread and I was hungry but too polite to ask for some.
At this point, in real life....my puppy woke up and it was 3 a.m. I put her outside to piddle and wrote this part of the dreaming down. Brought pup back in and both of us went back to sleep.
Dream number 2 seems to have a theme of suffering. Short and sweet. There was this huge, giant, massive, big mosquito (2 feet wide) on my back. He was sucking my blood and getting fatter and fatter until finally he blew up. Blood every where!!
At this point, in real life, my puppy barked and I told her to go back to sleep. It was 5:30 a.m. (not sure what got into puppy because usually she sleeps from about 11 p.m. to at least 6 a.m.) She was quiet after that and I fell back to sleep.
Dream number 3 seems fraught with the theme of temptation:
I went into some housing complex, like town houses in a square. I was looking for my aunt's house (my mom's sister) but she wasn't home. Her door was open but I didn't enter.
Two doors down from her place, a lady called me. She was very friendly saying: "Come on in and wait with us". I was hesitent but I went. There was more happy chaos----kids running everywhere, music, food, people enjoying themselves. There was an attractive man there who began speaking to me and making me laugh. Then the lady asked me to do her a favor and go to the back room for some reason. I went and this man followed, talking and joking the whole time. We got to the back room and I laughed so hard I fell on the floor. He leaned over and kissed me!!!
I jumped up and began walking away, saying I was sorry but I am a married woman and "I love my husband and I can't do this". I walked through the house and somehow ended up in the basement. This man followed me and kept telling me funny stories and offering me chocolate but I kept repeating what I said above. The basement was a real maze but somehow I made it through and arrived upstairs again.
At that point, in real life, my puppy cried again and it was 8:40 a.m. (now that is the latest she has ever slept in!!!). This was Sat. night/Sun morning so it was nice to sleep in, but I did point out to my puppy that she was having a disjointed effect on my dreams. :D But...at least I remembered them this time!
Have a great day all!!
GFN
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Hi October
My son hasn't come down with anything as of yet.
Maybe he drank too much when he was out with his Dad for dinner.
I felt bad for him b/c he said, "I'm a big boy now, it's not fair that my bed is wet."
Of course, I didn't make a big deal of it. I washed him up and I washed the bedding. Nothing outside of my job description. :wink:
take care.
Mia
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GFN,
There was an attractive man there
I hope your husband isn't getting jealous over all these dreams you're having about me. :P :roll: :P
mudpup
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GFN, I'll take a crack at interpreting these dreams. I'm curious to see whether any of my "explanations" ring true.
In the first dream, the bus is your life, making progress. You are collecting lumps of "good stuff" like self-awareness, self-esteem, etc. along they way. Your mother didn't have a lot of "good stuff" in life so you want to give her some of yours. (Now that you are starting to feel like you have enough?) Your mother being reluctant to come with you is your feelings toward her being "reluctant" to change. Her moving to a new area is her moving to a new "area" or place in your life, of more understanding, or acceptance. With that done, you went to a place with happiness and activity in your life. You "smell" the sustenance that the situation has to offer, but you don't believe that you deserve to share it.
In the second dream, the giant mosquito is both your xH as well as the crap from other people that is not yours. Carrying this on your back leaves you depleted. Finally, having gotten what it was working to get, it (xH) choked to death on it!
In the last dream, you tried to find a replacement for your mother, but no one was home, literally this time. Once again you were hesitant to join in the activity. The attractive man represents N? Chasing you and you are tempted, but hold your boundaries despite the persistence. You followed (rather than were followed by) this N down through your unconscious (basement) and back up again into your conscious.
Well, anything to this? I got a strong sense of these things when I read your post, but I'm not sure if it is interpretation or projection. Probably a bit of both.
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Hi again all:
I hope your husband isn't getting jealous over all these dreams you're having about me.
I don't think it was you, Mud. He had normal sized ears and was clothed in pants, shirt, the usual stuff....no mud. :shock:
Longtire! :D Thankyou very much for taking the time to put your thoughts here. I would never have thought of all of that and a lot of it does ring true. Maybe you're not projecting all that much at all?
GFN
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How about 3 dreams for the price of one??!!!
wow...... i thought longtire was right on = and good job with the dreaming! very suggestive imagery <including mudpuppy or not:) >
I dreamt of being in some kind of bus/big truck and making stops here and there. At each place I collected these rolls of money...
I stopped to help a family wash their dishes. I helped an Italian family sort out their recycling stuff (for the recycle bin). There was much joy there, with children running around, lot's of happy chaos and good food. ...
i saw a lot of the same things as longtire did. you are moving from place to place, collecting things of worth and value...... you are traveling and covering ground, perhaps emotoinally or in your life. you decide to share your fortune with your mother, as she was 'poor' in these areas. her saying she 'has moved to a new place' might mean you are getting more understanding of her and her place in your life. your leaving her 'at home' suggests that.... im having trouble saying what i mean. but you are moving her towards where she should be, in your memory.
it seemed possible that the italian family (and the money) was partially a reference to this place here, since you were both collecting these valuable 'nuggets' perhaps of support or information, and also subsequently stopped to help someone else 'sort through' their old stuff, as in helping others work through their issues. the image of the happy italian family reminded me of referring to this place as a big dinner table.
There was this huge, giant, massive, big mosquito (2 feet wide) on my back. He was sucking my blood and getting fatter and fatter until finally he blew up.
totally agree with longtire. the vampires in your life, weighing you down, sucking your vitality, and (hopefully) as people here also discussed, CHOKING ON IT and exploding.
I went into some housing complex, like town houses in a square. I was looking for my aunt's house (my mom's sister) but she wasn't home.
Two doors down from her place, a lady called me. She was very friendly saying: "Come on in and wait with us". I was hesitent but I went. There was more happy chaos----kids running everywhere, music, food, people enjoying themselves.
you are finding a source for things you were perhaps unable to obtain from your 'real' family; when you looked for sustenance from them, perhaps they were 'not home'. but you have found other places to go. you are maybe not quite sure you deserve to participate.. or you deserve this sustenance.. or something.. for some reason.
There was an attractive man there
im sorry GFN's husband but i thought instantly of mudpuppy here
This man followed me and kept telling me funny stories and offering me chocolate but I kept repeating what I said above. The basement was a real maze but somehow I made it through and arrived upstairs again.
i wonder if theres a small part of you that feels guilty for 'making light' of your situations, as people do here. like theres a part of you that feels you 'should' take things more seriously. and when people joke about things perhaps you feel on some deep level it isnt appropriate. perhaps this is the 'underneath' (basement) reason you were slightly hesitant to participate in the laughing family. but you got through safe and made it back up top again.
those were some things i saw.. including my projections as it always will. i thought those were very very good dreams with wonderful imagery. you can take what we see and put it together with what you know about yourself and it might show you what your mind is doing behind your back :idea: :)
nice job
love anna
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Hi all:
Hey Anna: Thanks for your interpretations, projections and all! Bells are ringing everywhere! I really appreciate your thoughts.
Quote:
There was an attractive man there
im sorry GFN's husband but i thought instantly of mudpuppy here.
No need to appologize. I'm sure muddy is attractive and will show up in all kinds of people's dreams. I just can't picture him without big ears. :roll:
The only part of your descifering I'm having a hard time with is the point about:
i wonder if theres a small part of you that feels guilty for 'making light' of your situations...
If this is true, it is very subconsciously. I have always believed that laughing is a good thing, even in the face of trouble. But I guess it's possible that I feel some kind of guilt deep somewhere for not being totally serious a lot of the time. :shock: It is a crutch I use to trip up some jerks and help relieve some tense situations, or just because it feels right. It's a good crutch though, as far as being effective. I think I'd be really depressed if I didn't laugh so much. :?
Right on about the vampires. I remember I didn't feel drained or weak or afraid or like I would die from the loss of blood or anything like that. I just thought: "You're going to blow up soon and good riddance!" and so it went. It's a good way to think of some of these dopes, really. They're trying to take our life-blood but all they end up doing is disintegrating themselves further (maybe?). Their personality is disordered and their trying to get it from us only makes them fat with more disorder?
Thanks Anna. Hope you are having more pleasant dreams now that you're here. I like the imagary of "a big dinner table" here. Pass the butter please, I think I'll have some of that lovely Italian bread now. :D
GFN
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Hey Anna: Thanks for your interpretations, projections and all! Bells are ringing everywhere! I really appreciate your thoughts.
im sorry about your thoughts about your mom on the other thread. its interesting you would dream about her being 'home' :}
The only part of your descifering I'm having a hard time with is the point about:
i wonder if theres a small part of you that feels guilty for 'making light' of your situations...
If this is true, it is very subconsciously. I have always believed that laughing is a good thing, even in the face of trouble. But I guess it's possible that I feel some kind of guilt deep somewhere for not being totally serious a lot of the time. :shock: It is a crutch I use to trip up some jerks and help relieve some tense situations, or just because it feels right. It's a good crutch though, as far as being effective.
it coudl be seen so many ways. the fact of happening in a basement, and also being a maze, suggests something cryptic and something hidden from yourself anyhow... it could be a -whole- lot of different things.
I like the imagary of "a big dinner table" here. Pass the butter please, I think I'll have some of that lovely Italian bread now. :D
mmmmmmm mmm mmm me too.
anna
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If this is true, it is very subconsciously. I have always believed that laughing is a good thing, even in the face of trouble. But I guess it's possible that I feel some kind of guilt deep somewhere for not being totally serious a lot of the time. :shock: It is a crutch I use to trip up some jerks and help relieve some tense situations, or just because it feels right. It's a good crutch though, as far as being effective. I think I'd be really depressed if I didn't laugh so much. :?
GFN, I tend to bee too serious with these things and am working hard to lighten up more. (Is that an oxymoron, or what?) I think any extreme reaction or avoidance would be bad, but I don't hear you saying that. I hear you say that you use humor, but are still aware of the situation. Nothing wrong with that at all in my opinion. Hopefully, I'll join you in dealing with things that way one of these days. :) I used to have a good (but twisted) sense of humor, but I wasn't able to find it for the longest time. Here recently, it has started to pop out every once in a while. Here's to comebacks.
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I had a reoccuring dream from a very long time ago.
The werid thing is I believe I am living it now.
I would dream about being in an upstairs room looking out a window in view of a brick building.
Several weeks before I left my H, Mum told me of a dream she thought was about me. In her dream I was in an upstairs room looking down below. (Her dream is on the other comment thread).
The condo Im living in now is an upstairs with a balcony, across the way is the next building it's solid brick like my dream. I keep thinking about this dream and where Im at today.
I remember thinking of something sad when I reflected back on the dream. Now I think about this brick wall that I see from my window and wonder if I will become sad like the dream. I want to believe I will be happy here, I worry about my D and think how sad I would be if moving here will turn out more sad than it already is.
I guess my life now can be sad at times, understanding that the life I was living was sad most of the time. I feel really sad right now and hope that dream will change for me to something wonderful for my future.
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OR, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling sad right now. Considering your situation, it makes a lot of sense that you would feel that way. I think you have earned the right to feel sad.
If this dream has predicted where you are, then you are exactly where you are supposed to be. I find that comforting. Do you really think that you were given a vision of where you would be now, only to have that mean more horrible things are coming? I don't. I think connected events like this either occur to enrich our lives or to warn of some danger. You didn't mention any feelings of danger so I believe it is more likely the first case. Connection is a positive force, not a negtive one. Maybe you are projecting your fears of the past situation with your STBXH onto this event? He wasn't in the picture in your dream was he? I get the feeling that this dream marks the END of a period in your life and the beginning of a new one. That new experience can be scary too, but honestly I think it is far more likely that you are moving into a better period of your life. If for no other reason than you are taking charge and getting things done to achieve exactly that. Sorry if I'm getting too metaphysical...
You have said before that I'm your hero. I don't understand that. I have struggled just to move across town. You have made a major change in your life to another state! That is huge. You are doing everything you need to do to deal with a new job, new place, your precious D, as well as scatter-brained EMails from STBXH and inter-state divorce! OR, you are my hero, and honestly have helped me more than anyone else here (no offense, I love you guys) by your example.
You are due a down day, or down days with all you've been through. Keep in mind the reason you made all these changes was for a better life for you and your D. The only negative force in your life is stuck back in CA and can't hurt you anymore, no matter how hard he tries. Look at how pathetic his attempts to do that are. He gets farther away every day. He doesn't even know what to do in life without you around to dump on.
((((((((OR))))))))
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Here's one from last night. I dreamed I was driving a lawn style tractor out West. I must have been making pretty good time but going on a bridge over water, the fan belt broke, and the tractor landed in the brink.
I remember people trying to help me and saying stuff like, "you know those tractors only have a fabric fan belt. They arent made to go long distances." So I high tail it back to the town and try to figure out what I am going to do. I was pretty convinced I could get it fixed and continue out west but eventually was resigned I had to rent a flat bed and tow it back here. Dad was in there somewhere plus some good friends.
It was a fun dream for the most part although I was sad I had to go back home.
I think I can figure it out. It is about getting the plan together to fix the house and presenting it to Dad. I want to do it on my own but sooner or later I am resigned I have to go back to him.
Other interpretations welcomed.
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Hey Bliz,
Keeping in mind that I haven't the faintest idea what I'm talking about in dream interpretation, let me suggest a possible alternative.
Maybe you're trying to escape your family altogether? But on a puny slow little lawn tractor and you don't get too far. And you end up having to go back to the family you were trying to get away from?
And maybe it isn't get away from them all together. Maybe its just to be independent of their help or control? Maybe?
This opinion is given without expressed or implied warranty. :wink:
mudpup
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Funny again, Mudpup. Thanks for the laugh. I could have chosen a more substantial vehicle than a lawn tractor. I mean I have access to a regular farm style tractor.
There was a movie about a guy that travels to see his brother across country in a lawn tractor. Pretty interesting.
I think when we were kids we tried to get away with driving the lawn tractor on the public street as a means of transportation pre 16. Maybe that is in there somewhere.
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Hi al:
Hey Bliz:
There was a movie about a guy that travels to see his brother across country in a lawn tractor. Pretty interesting.
I saw that movie!! Can't remember the name of it (ofcourse) :roll: .
The whole movie was slllloooooooowwwwwwww, like the lawn tractor he was on. I liked it. I think the reason he drove his lawn tractor was because he was old and they took away his drivers license, wasn't it?
It was an interesting movie.
GFN
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I can't think of the name of it either, but a portion of it was filmed on a farm owned by the best man at our wedding (can't really call him a friend anymore :roll: ). I know the story took place in Iowa. My kids saw it, but I never did.
Brigid
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Hey Brigid!
I remember now....the beautiful country side!!! The small towns and so many farms!!
I was there....in Iowa once. It was so lovely. Felt right at home. Had a wonderful time searching through the Antique barns! Bought a small war time glass bowl for $3 (US). Great deal! Saw one up here, not long after, exactly like it, priced at $35.
Iowa. Tall corn fields. Combines in the fields. Welcoming towns. Friendly people. No wonder they picked that place for that movie!
:D
GFN
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Had several vivd dreams about the ex last night so had to get that out.
In first dream he had come home from somewhere, probably out partying, and I felt that excitement of "he is back". It was his younger, thinner self, I fell in love with so that was kind of a thrill.
The next dream I believe he was again coming back from being out partying. HE was acting kind of weird and had all these big dogs with him. He was buying new clothes and showing them to me. I believe we were staying at some hotel somewhere. It finally dawned on me, in the dream, that he may have used again. I asked him in the dream and he said he had. The I remember kind of driving around with the dogs and he in a truck. NOt sure what we are doing but I think trying to hide the fact he had used again and maybe looking for help for him.
It is weird to have such vivid dreams of him out of nowhere. Havent seen him in over a year or talked to him in about 6 months. NO desire to do either. Interpretations?
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Hi Bliz:
I'm probably the worst dream interpreter here and I can't think of much right now to say about your dreams. :oops: Sorry.
It is strange that after being separated from people for a period of time, we suddenly start dreaming about them, isn't it? We must be thinking about that person some place inside our heads, even if we're not aware of it.
Are there any significant dates around now...his birthday, your x-wedding anniversary, date you moved perhaps? I sometimes wonder if those dates don't just instigate these kinds of dreams because we used to always pay attention to them?
Hope you have many more pleasant dreams to come, Bliz.
Sorry I'm not much help here. :(
GFN
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It is weird to have such vivid dreams of him out of nowhere. Havent seen him in over a year or talked to him in about 6 months. NO desire to do either. Interpretations?
First thing I would say is the usual one: imo, the dreams you have are not 'about' your ex, they are about you. :wink:
The next thing is that both times, what happens centres around the ex (which is why it is easy to think the dream is about him), and everything relates to him and what he is doing. This may well reflect your life together. (Certainly it would describe the way I related to my ex; he kept his life and his hobbies, I became 'his' wife. Years later, I am still trying to find who I am, when not in relation to anyone else. )
In the first dream, he is having a good time, while you are waiting around for him. He has been to a party; you are just happy to see him return. Not a very equal balance. :? He is younger, so perhaps this is a summary kind of dream. Early days; waiting around. Happy to see him. No life for you apart from that.
In the second part again he has been having a life; you have been waiting. He has been to a party, bought clothes, found some pets (girls??), and some stuff. Maybe this is about later, when you turned from the person who happily waited at home for him into the person who tried to rescue him.
I am not sure what the purpose of the dream is. It is difficult to find you in it at all, because all your focus is outside yourself; you appear to be defined by what you are doing for him.
I have lots of dreams at present about a 'friend' of mine who is very unavailable. He has been a very great emotional support in the past, but now is very busy and more often unavailable than not. I spend many dreams trying to find him or watching from a distance as he disappears somewhere. Thinking about it, I have had these for months, possibly years. Endlessly searching for the person who is never found. And in real life, I am slowly learning not to rely on him, to accept who he is, but look for support elsewhere, from people who do not let me down.
Maybe, looking at yours in the same way, the dream is holding up a mirror to your life. Are you doing these same things with someone else, but not yet realising it? Are you defining yourself by another person, and waiting around for them? Or maybe it is just a reminder of what was, as a kind of 'well done for escaping all of that.'
Sorry if these questions are too personal. Just thoughts, really. :oops:
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Hi October,
Thanks for taking the time to interpret my dream. it is an interesting take. I was going back today to the feelings I had during the dream and it was mostly, "he is sick", "needs help". My life has always been fairly independent and self directed so I am not sure I had the feeling of waiting around to have a life. I think mostly there was a sense of we are together, our family unit is one and then that the unit is broked again due to his behavior.
It may be a reaffirming dream about what I already know in daylight. Knowing what I know now about substance abuse, emotional abuse, narcissism etc, hs given me a new take on him and possibly that is why I dream about him being ill. I used to have fun adventure dreams about him and us and now it is mostly he looks bad or needs help. Maybe trying to work it out emotinally in my dreams.
I am sure part of me longs for the old him when he was more fun loving and less disturbed. Maybe this is reaffirming that person is gone if they ever existed. It took me a few days to come to this concept.
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Hi all:
Here's a short and silly one.
First......I was flying. Like a glider, with my arms straight out sideways, legs straight out behind me, dipping and diving, any way/direction I wanted, up down, in and around mountains and towns and forrests and cities. Big smile on my face. It was exhilerating and fun!!! Zooom zip flip weeeee!!!
Then....I was varnishing everything. Had a little bottomless can full of spar-varnish (marine varnish) and a 2 inch brush. Slapping it on everything in sight. Slip slap dip dap ......fun again!!! Everything was soooooo shiney!! Time of my life!!! :D :D
Besides weird and fun.....I wonder what it means? I haven't a clue. :?
GFN
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Since moving out only a week and a half ago and not needing the sleeping pills any longer, I have already had 2 nights where I dreamed. I don't remember the first night's dreams, but do remember a bit of last night's. I believe that my starting to dream again after such a long time is a very positive sign and I have been hoping that it would happen with this separation.
OK, I was in a garage with the garage door open. There were 2 giant piles of popcorn, one plain white, the other yellow w/ butter. Another guy (kinda vague) and I were taking turns sledding down the piles of popcorn out into the driveway and having a good time.
After a while, that garage changed to a room that for some reason reminded me of a room in a college Union building. There were a lot of people coming and going. Some there studying, some talking in small groups of two or three people. There was a variety of furniture and some small displays with recruiting information, local happenings, local artists, etc. on some of the tables. I was standing near the middle of the room looking over the top of one of the displays toward a set of doors waiting. I'm not sure what I was waiting for in the dream.
Any ideas? These have me stumped.
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Hi Long:
Ok.......I'll give it a shot (and by the way....I agree....I think your beginning to remember dreams again is probably a very positive thing).
So....the garage is you and the door is open....a big part of you is now open. Maybe you felt very closed up before and now that you're starting this new life....you feel open to all kinds of stuff.....and especially....a brighter future!
The two piles of popcorn....one white....one yellow.....could be two different avenues your life could have taken....one pure...one covered in butter. The two guys.....you and some vague guy....might actually be two parts of yourself......the white, pure part, and the vague, butter-coloured side of you. No matter.......both parts/sides are sliding down the soft, fluffy avenues....enjoying themselves....and just being happy in the moment. Maybe this is how you want your emotions/life to go.....how you envision it will go....how you hope it will go....how you will work toward making it go?? Also....rather than seeing everything as hard and flat, you are seeing it as light, fluffy, hilly and fun. A good way to embark on the next phase, maybe?
Then......the garage....you ......turns/turn into a big room, full of activity, displays, items, people, and there you are standing and looking at the door, waiting. Maybe you're waiting for all of your ideas, new activities, creativity, new events/experiences....to become a real part of your new life (or maybe you fear it will all leave....go out the door....at some point?).
A little bit of very latent fear...surfacing possibly? Somehow you feel you can build this new, rewarding, enjoyable life but you don't trust that it will remain with you??
And maybe I'm daft??? :shock: Only you will know if this makes any sense to you.
Take care, Longtire!! I hope your life is beginning to fill up with fun things and nice events and good people and comforts!!
GFN
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OK, I was in a garage with the garage door open. There were 2 giant piles of popcorn, one plain white, the other yellow w/ butter. Another guy (kinda vague) and I were taking turns sledding down the piles of popcorn out into the driveway and having a good time.
After a while, that garage changed to a room that for some reason reminded me of a room in a college Union building. There were a lot of people coming and going. Some there studying, some talking in small groups of two or three people. There was a variety of furniture and some small displays with recruiting information, local happenings, local artists, etc. on some of the tables. I was standing near the middle of the room looking over the top of one of the displays toward a set of doors waiting. I'm not sure what I was waiting for in the dream.
yay, dreams :} they sound like good dreams.
it reminds me...... you are in the garage.. maybe you are feeling a little 'out of the main house' right now, your still getting used to the idea of not being 'in the main house' as you usually are.... you are kind of 'out with the boys' sort of playing and enjoying yourself a little more. i see the popcorn as an image of fun, and youth, and also options, because there are different flavors available.
the other reason i think about youth and starting over is the reference to university. you may be thinking back to a time when you were starting out in life away from home the first time.. like the first time away at school or college.
what are you waiting for.... your new life. the next phase. what will happen next. hopefully something playful and enjoyable. it sounds like it is. could be lots of things though of course. just some ideas.
btw longtire, im also an INTP. less than 7% of the population supposedly.
hope things are going really well there -
anna
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My younger brother (by two years) called me three days ago and told me he had a very disturbing dream about me. He dreamt that I was murdered. He said he woke up and when he fell back to sleep he kept dreaming it. I told him to feel free to not dream about me anymore. :wink:
He called b/c he wanted to make sure I was OK since his dream seemed so real. Needless to say his dream creeped me out.
Hopefully being murdered in someone else's dream is symbolic of something that DOES NOT include blood shed.
Mia
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Wow anna and GFN, you are good! All the things you say ring true to me. I guess its been a while since I had a dream that I remembered. I'm rusty on interpreting. I also got another connections, the two guys and two piles of popcorn also represent the innocent (white) me and the sadder but wiser, protective (yellow) me. There was a sense throught that everything was OK, no pressure and no impatience. That's how I have been feeling in waking life as well.
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That last post was me but timed out.
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Hi all:
Here's a short and silly one.
First......I was flying. Like a glider, with my arms straight out sideways, legs straight out behind me, dipping and diving, any way/direction I wanted, up down, in and around mountains and towns and forrests and cities. Big smile on my face. It was exhilerating and fun!!! Zooom zip flip weeeee!!!
Then....I was varnishing everything. Had a little bottomless can full of spar-varnish (marine varnish) and a 2 inch brush. Slapping it on everything in sight. Slip slap dip dap ......fun again!!! Everything was soooooo shiney!! Time of my life!!! :D :D
Besides weird and fun.....I wonder what it means? I haven't a clue. :?
GFN
'Flying' is often associated with sex!!!!!
I'm not even going to try to explain the varnish....
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I had an ongoing dream that my husband decided that he could drink anytime he wanted to and that the whole idea of recovering was bogus and that he had made his choice and to hell with how I felt about it. I had that dream repeatedly over the last couple of years and then it really happened.
I think that I dreamed that because I was always afraid of something like that happening. I never believed that it would, but it was always a looming fear in the back of my head, I suppose. The dream started when in spite of my discomfort with him working with the woman he eventually moved in with, he went ahead and did what he wanted anyway. He was completely indifferent to how I felt about them working together which was not his normal behaviour and maybe that set the buzzers off in my subconscious.
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that last post was me, Wiish
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Hey Guest:
'Flying' is often associated with sex!!!!!
For crying OUT loud!! :shock: I never dream about sex and now this!!! Jeepers!! :shock: What kinda weirdo association is that? :oops: Oh well! :roll: What the heck! It was certainly enjoyable!!! :D But now I feel like I had some x-rated dream and I don't even know the details!! :oops: That'll learn me..!!!! :shock:
I'm not even going to try to explain the varnish....
:shock: :? :shock: :? :oops: :shock: :? :shock: :?
I'm not sure I want you to. :oops: :oops: :oops:
Thanks anyway, I think. :?
GFN
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Hey Longtire:
There was a sense throught that everything was OK, no pressure and no impatience. That's how I have been feeling in waking life as well.
So glad to hear it!!! :D :D :D :D :D
Miaxo:
Needless to say his dream creeped me out.
Hopefully being murdered in someone else's dream is symbolic of something that DOES NOT include blood shed.
I know nothing about this type of dream but my immediate thoughts are that your brother is cares about and is worried about you, you're going through some hard times/feeling/whatnot right now (sorry...I don't know your story :oops: ), and so his worst worries/fears came out in his dream.
I don't think it means that anything similar will happen in real life......just that his mind is releasing some of his darkest fears....to help him cope for now.
Wiish: :( :( I would define your dream exactly as you say....except maybe add that is was a bit of a preminition??? I'm so sorry that it really happened. :( :( ((((((((Wiish))))))))
GFN
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Ok, so here's how dopey I can be:
I thought Miaxo and Mia were two different people!(heehee :oops: ).
Yup. Gotta laugh at how thick I can be sometimes. Just try to compete!! Ya'll ull never win!!!! :shock:
So last night I had a wild and crazy dream!! First....there were all these deserts. Chocolate mooosey creamy everythings and strawberry fluffy cake/pie/candy and apple/blueberry/cherry/peach/rhubarb/jumbleberry/pudding/cookies/
creams/custards/crisps....just shelves and shelves of yummy, gooey, fattening, heavenly delicious treats, every where. I couldn't believe it! I kept thinking.......who made all of this? It looks fabulous! I'm liking this dream!!
(It's like I'm talking to myself and fully aware that I am dreaming when I am dreaming. Very strange. I've never really experienced this before so it just seems really odd and weird).
Then.....all of a sudden I am at an in-law-aunt and uncle's home.....which is a huge, maze of rooms upon rooms......(totally different than their actual home, which is large and comfortable but not full of endless hallways and rooms..like in the dream). So......I feel alone there. Not unwelcome.....just a like a bit of an outlaw...because this isn't myyyyy family and I don't even know why I'm there, what I'm supposed to do. I feel tired....so I ask aunt....where do I sleep? And she takes me up stairs, down halls, in and through rooms, past large washrooms, around bends, down a few steps here, up a few there, in and out and all around and finally......there is a little door and she says: "In there, if it's ok".
And ofcourse....I politely thank her and assure her that this will be just fine. I go in. There is a bare sponge mattress on a cement floor. The walls are block, painted dark colours and it's dusty and dirty and cold and not very nice at all. I decide I can make through one night here, there are worse places, I won't die....and I sleep.
In the morning.......I'm determined to leave. But I have to know why this aunt has treated me so....oddly.....considering she is usually very, very kind and loving and giving and generous and all good things...or has been in the past. I go up and down and around and in and out until I finally reach the main room, on the main floor.....and it's overwhelmingly crowded with people! Everywhere, every inch of the place is crawling with people I've never seen before. So many of them, introducing themselves to me......"I'm such and such's cousin's sister's brother's father's mother in law's grandson" and more and more confusing, long lists of introductions from so many ...that I am at a total loss to know who anyone is. I just can't take it all in. I decide.....
I've got to get outta here. This isn't where I belong. These people all know eachother and I'm a stranger. So I politely thank my outlaw/inlaw aunt (whatever she is) for her hospitality, and I leave, knowing exactly why I was given that tiny uncomfortable room.....because there were so many and she knew I wouldn't complain....because she knows me.
So now I'm outside and there are grassy cliffs everywhere and somebody's gramma is struggling to hold onto the edge of some grass and her old holey boot toes are dug deeply into the ground, trying to ease herself down this deathly slope!! I walk there and say: "Granny. It's way too steep. I'm much younger and better looking than you and I can't possibly make it down there. Please give me your hand and I'll help you up. We'll find a way to get out of here together, ok?"
And she gives me her hand and I pull her to her feet. She's much taller than I am and looks so determined to get down to the bottom. I look down there and see that at the very bottom...it is just flat, grassy land. I look around, in every direction but all I see are mountains and grassy cliffs. I search and search and then say: "Over there Granny! There might be a way through! "and I see a small opening, like a tunnel or a pass, through a hill. We walk toward it together and she keeps thanking me and telling me how wonderful I am and that she might have slipped and died trying to climb down from where she was. And I tell her not to worry that I might have tried it myself if I hadn't seen her doing it and how dangerous it looked! I thanked her for showing me the senselessness of going that way.
And I woke up.
GFN
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GFN,
Yup. Gotta laugh at how thick I can be sometimes. Just try to compete!! Ya'll ull never win!!!!
I'm disappointed in you. This statement is very prideful and pride is a very serious sin. :(
The simple fact is, I am the thickest brick here and I can beat you at being a lunkhead any day of the week, wit' me eyes closed and me shoes on the wrong feet! :P :oops: :roll: :?
Just accept it and deal with it. :wink: :lol:
Loved the dream, by the way. Can't wait til someone smarter than us explains it for us. :wink:
mudpup
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Okay, I am not 'smarter' than anyone, certainly not mud and gfn, but I'll give your dream a go, GFN.
You are doing pretty well in this life, having figured out how to be happy... (those deserts and all) and then you find yourself on this board (that place) with a bunch of "relatives" you have not met (all of us). You have a chance to be involved in this place, but to do so, you must revisit your own pain or discomfort periodically (the matress on the floor, you know is temporary).
You stay and prove yourself to be invaluable to many of us (granny) and even in doing that, you self effacingly (sp?) thank granny (us) for your own learning.
How's that? I think it suits!
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Wow! Thankyou Mum!! That was exceptionally kind of you.
One thing I said to you awhile back was: "What white light you shine!!"
Sure do! Yessum! Thankyou for sharing your white light Mum.
((((((((Mum))))))))
GFN
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Last night I dreamt I was paddling a small row boat on a big, choppy lake, under very cloudy skies. I was fishing for pickeral (the only fish I can stand because it's so mild, it doesn't taste at all like fish, especially cooked in lot's of butter and garlic). I wasn't having much luck and the sky was beginning to look like a storm might blow in (getting darker and the clouds were blowing around), so I turned my little row boat around and started to head back when I suddenly saw a woman, struggling in the water.
I started toward her but the wind was against me and I called: "Hang on! I'm coming to get you! Just hang on!"
She yelled back: "Never mind! Leave me alone! I've been swimming a long time and soon I'm going to drown. Go away!"
I replied: "No! Just a little longer. I'll give you a ride in my boat! I'm coming! Just hang on a bit longer!"
Then I looked and on the far shore there were 3 people. The first 2 cried:
"Please! Save our mother! She's going to drown and we want her to live!" and the 3rd person, "Please save my sister! I want her to live too!"
So I paddled harder and harder but the more I paddled the further away the woman swam. I looked ahead of her and suddenly there was another boat, with a dark, evil looking man in it, who was covered in some kind of growths, like leprosy or something. And he was paddling towards the woman too, saying: "Come to me! Get close to my boat!" and I knew, that if she listened to him and went near, he would smash her on the head with his paddle, and she would surely drown, so I yelled:
"No! Please don't listen to him! Please wait just a bit longer! I'm trying to get to you! Your children want you to live and so does your sister and so do I! Please don't listen to that awful man! Stay away from him! He only wants to hurt you!"
Then, on the opposite shore, a group of observers stood and yelled: "Swim to us! We want you to live! Come on, you can do it!"
But she just kept swimming toward the evil man's boat.
So I paddled and paddled and paddled against the wind and the waves, which were getting bigger and bigger, all while watching her struggling and swimming toward his boat, all while watching the evil gleam in his eye. I just wanted to get to her before he did and I kept trying as hard as I could.
And then I woke up.
I don't think this dream needs any interpretation. Just wanted to share it.
GFN
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Dragged this one out of May ...
Because I've a recurring dream since being on this forum. In the past, a recurring dream was a sure sign of a memory coming. However I don't believe this is about A memory rather memories and my new growth to come.
I think the dream came about because out front of our home we have this huge grape vine. We didn't really want it in our yard so I put some weed killer on it. It was nasty stuff and the vine died back to a stump. The next year it came back stronger than before. :lol: :lol: :lol: So much for killing something! Supposedly the vine inside the stump can withstand lots of heat and adverse conditions and still survive. This was in a movie ... can't remember the name ... which starred Keanu Reeves.
Now the dream ...
There is a huge vine like tree in my yard. Someone (maybe me) is cutting branches off this tree. The tree looks like it is dormant. There are no leaves on it. The branches remind me of a grape vine. After each branch is cut off, the tree is left alone for a couple of days. Then the places where the branches were cut off spontaneously combust and flames shoot out. The flames go out after a couple of hours.
This dream reminds me of the grape vine in that movie. After the fire it looks dead but within the depths of the burnt bark lies new life. :)
Any thoughts? Comments? Insights?
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Hi Itex: (may I call you Itex for short? If not..please say so, thanks).
I think you've defined the dream very well and the way you've put it.....I like it. It sounds like branches of nasty stuff will be taken off and the new life within is full of hope. What a great dream!
My prayers that this comes true for you Itex.
:D Sela
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Hi Itex: (may I call you Itex for short? If not..please say so, thanks).
I think you've defined the dream very well and the way you've put it.....I like it. It sounds like branches of nasty stuff will be taken off and the new life within is full of hope. What a great dream!
My prayers that this comes true for you Itex.
:D Sela
That's funny ITex. Spelled Itex it is the name of a barter company. No problem with the shortened version! :)
I pray that is does too. I had a good feeling when I awoke from the dream. :D
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Spelled Itex it is the name of a barter company.
That is funny! In a way....that's what we're doing here eh? I'll trade you some support for some......hummmmm........ support. Ok? :roll: :mrgreen:
Sweet dreams ITex.
:D Sela
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I have been having a lot more vivid dreams over the past week. This is happening at the same time that my feelings changed to "feel" un-stoppered up. I don't remember most of the dreams now, but this one was particularly vivid.
I was living in a typical suburban house in typical suburbs, when King Kong starts wrecking the houses. For some reason, he is looking for the people inside to hurt them. To get at them he literally tears open houses, cars, etc. and knocks down trees and light poles and anything in his way. Eventually he came to "our" house where my daughter and my "wife" were also. Both the house and my "wife" were different from reality. I got the sense that my daughter was the same, but she was "fuzzier" and less distinct. As he tore the house apart looking for us we hid from room to room when he wasn't looking and finally escaped out the back. It was dangerous, but I didn't feel afraid. I felt competent and able to take care of myself and knew that I just needed to be careful and not careless and I would be OK. Then I made my way to a big hanger type building with a lot of other people there. There were big stacks of food, water, and other supplies inside and army tanks, barricades, etc. guarding all around the building. Other people from the town were coming there and bringing more supplies to add to the stockpiles. Most people in town were not coming here and were staying where they were out of fear of moving, though. I could still see King Kong wrecking the city, but he seemed to be avoiding this place as too secure. I could see the wreckage of buildings and fires behind him as he criss-crossed the town looking for unprotected people to hurt. That was it. There was a lot of detail in this dream in terms of there being furniture and decorations, etc. in the house and in moving from room to room of my house.
I see KK as being my wife wrecking my internal house to control, blame and hurt me. I also see this as her wrecking our marriage and family. (And yes, I know I share some responsibility in that as well, but this was a dream. :)) Going from room to room was my trying different approaches and trying to hold on and not have to leave. Eventually, the house and marriage have been torn apart, and I no longer have any reason to stay. So, I moved to another location which is bigger, has more people, and more resources inside and better defenses outside. Plus, things are getting better and better as more people arrive and bring more supplies with them. I feel sorry for the people who are still clinging to their old houses, afraid of change, but understand since I was one of them. I feel glad that I am in a safer place with more people that has more room and sharing and people helping each other. Neat dream that really shows how far I've come! Do you see anything else in here that I've missed?
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Hi ITex,
The bible talks about pruning the grape vine to strengthen it and enable it to bear more fruit.
Perhaps you are pruning yourself back to let the flame of anger out about what has happened to you and regrow healthier.
Its darn near impossible to kill a grape vine as long as the roots are alive. Make sure you heal from the roots on up. :wink:
mudpup
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Wow Longtire! That was a coool dream! 8)
I think you are such a great dream interpreter! Very good job!! :D
At first, your dream gave me a giggle :lol:.....King Kong?? Too funny!! But not!!! Then I thought....that must have been a frightening dream....until you said you weren't afraid!
The only other thing I thought that might be is about your daughter....not being as distinct as usual, fuzzier...but the same. This gives me hope for you and she.....she might be a little fuzzier right now but deep down she's the same, your relationship is the same/or will be the same, and hopefully that will become clearer in time. You were also concentrating on surviving all these attacks, which maybe felt like your wife was King Kong but you realized that you only had to be careful to get away safely. Do you worry that your daughter might not get away safely?
When I see people who treat others with manipulation and all the N stuff and then those poorly treated people leave, I always wonder who will be the next victim...who will be manipulated etc now? This might be coming out in your dream..that King Kong has made your daughter fuzzy.. but I still see hope that your daughter is still the same and will be safe, in the end.
Sela/GFN
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The only other thing I thought that might be is about your daughter....not being as distinct as usual, fuzzier...but the same. This gives me hope for you and she.....she might be a little fuzzier right now but deep down she's the same, your relationship is the same/or will be the same, and hopefully that will become clearer in time. You were also concentrating on surviving all these attacks, which maybe felt like your wife was King Kong but you realized that you only had to be careful to get away safely. Do you worry that your daughter might not get away safely?
Yes, I forgot to mention that. I got the feeling that my D was indistinct because I was concentrating so much on escaping the danger alive, even though I was helping us all to escape. My D is definitely ambivalent towards me these days, but seems to be fine when she actually gets around me. I hope this is not an act when she's with me. I have told her many times that she can be honest with me and have any feelings toward me and that is OK with me. I hope that it is more an indication of confusion and loyalty to her mother and that when she gets around me again she is reminded that I'm not so terrible after all. :)
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I need some help from you dream readers out there.
For a good portion of my 23 years of marriage, I would have dreams about my xh leaving me. This started looonnnng before the separation started (and we never discussed divorced in our entire marriage). They were very vivid dreams and I would actually wake up and check to see if he was still in the bed with me. I am assuming now that it was my sub-conscious mind telling me what my conscious mind did not see.
Since the separation, I have had many dreams about him (I have related a few here), but mostly they end with me telling him that he ended the marriage and I don't want anything to do with him. The other night I had a very vivid dream where we were actually in bed together, having a great conversation and the dream ended with the two of us talking about staying together.
Why is this happening?? The only thing I can think of is that I was reading longtire's post on "what's next" shortly before going to bed and his whole struggle with divorcing or not.
It's bad enough that he continues in my thoughts while I'm awake, but do I have to be plagued with him in my sleep too? I just want him to go away. :( :(
Brigid
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I need some help from you dream readers out there.
For a good portion of my 23 years of marriage, I would have dreams about my xh leaving me. This started looonnnng before the separation started (and we never discussed divorced in our entire marriage). They were very vivid dreams and I would actually wake up and check to see if he was still in the bed with me. I am assuming now that it was my sub-conscious mind telling me what my conscious mind did not see.
Since the separation, I have had many dreams about him (I have related a few here), but mostly they end with me telling him that he ended the marriage and I don't want anything to do with him. The other night I had a very vivid dream where we were actually in bed together, having a great conversation and the dream ended with the two of us talking about staying together.
Why is this happening?? The only thing I can think of is that I was reading longtire's post on "what's next" shortly before going to bed and his whole struggle with divorcing or not.
It's bad enough that he continues in my thoughts while I'm awake, but do I have to be plagued with him in my sleep too? I just want him to go away. :( :(
Brigid
I hope you are referring to your xh in the last paragraph and not me. 8) :D
What else happened in that dream? Did you have any other impressions or notice anything else during the dream? Have you been having other dreams recently? It is hard to tell what it means from what you've posted. It could be about acceptance of your xh, or he could just be a placeholder for someone else in your life.
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It's bad enough that he continues in my thoughts while I'm awake, but do I have to be plagued with him in my sleep too? I just want him to go away. :( :(
Brigid
As with Longtire, even if you know that it is right to separate, part of you is human and loving, and wants to believe that things can be ok, and that the story can have the happy ending we all planned.
I think your dream is an acknowledgment of that ambivalence. You are not telling him that you want to be separate, and for him to go away, imo. You are telling yourself. His identity is clearly very closely attached to yours still; that is shown in the intimacy of the setting. He is not only in your house (your self) but in the most personal part of your self; perhaps your heart. That seems to be the place from which you want to exclude him.
I am not sure what I would do with a dream like this. Perhaps I would try to be more open with myself about the feelings that are there. Not just the ones that want him to go, but also the others that want things to be fine and good again. If you admit them, they might lose their strength in your dreams.
If this is nonsense, please ignore it.
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longtire,
I hope you are referring to your xh in the last paragraph and not me.
Yes long, sorry :oops:, it does sound like I could be referring to you. I'm sure you have shown up in my dreams in some way (not sure what a "longtire" would look like :?), but not in this context. The only additional details I can give would be that we were very happy--laughing and loving toward each other. I definitely knew in the dream that something had happened in the marriage, but because we were getting along so well at that moment and as October pointed out, in a rather intimate setting, but not at the time being intimate, we started talking about continuing on with the marriage. I will note that only I was talking about the marital situation and he said nothing, nor did he acknowledge there were any problems. But I think that is the way it is in most of my dreams about him.
October,
I think you have done your usual good job of interpreting. You're probably right to say that he is still in my heart and feelings that I am unwilling to admit to anyone, least of all myself, are still there. After everything he did, I shouldn't feel anything but disdain, but I am not a person who easily stops loving. I recently read on some post about hate and love being so closely connected and it would be indifference that is the goal to be completely over the person. Obviously, if I still think of him during my waking and sleeping hours, I have not reached the point of indifference.
Thank you for your helpful perspective.
Blessings,
Brigid
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Hi all! I just wanted to make a comment on N dreams. An interesting thing about Ns dreaming capacity I found while researching. Most Ns do not remember their dreams- at all. Interesting eh?! My ex N used to talk in his sleep all the time and it was always about him being allegedly abused. The last incident that happened with his nocturnal mumblings forced me to kick him to the sofa. He said- in a voice mimicing a woman- " Oh sure, b, tell another lie..why don't you ever tell the truth?..( the rest of this in his normal voice-).I could kill you, you f...ing bitch and it would be so easy I'd get away with it"- punctuated by laughing that freaked me out, it was so malicious. The whole time I was with him, I had nothing but nightmares involving being chased, threatened with knives etc. I also had all kind of dreams depicting some pretty bizarre and highly disturbing sexual scenarios involving my N- he is a sex addict as well.All my nightmares ended within a week of him leaving and I started to sleep again. Another interesting thing I read about Ns- sorry, off topic of dreams. Ns have no sense of humour. They are only capable of sarcasm and really bad puns. They don't have any sense of timing and emotional content of jokes and humour being completely disconnected from their feelings- and only being able to feel rage and fear. Also Ns tend not to make any eye contact and I also read their smiles are unlike normal human smiles- they tend to bare their teeth in a predatory way- like dogs ...or wolves! Wonder if anyone else has noticed any of this with their Ns?
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Moira,
Ns have no sense of humour. They are only capable of sarcasm and really bad puns. They don't have any sense of timing and emotional content of jokes
I would not say this is universally true. My xnh actually has a very good sense of humor--a stand-up comedian who can entertain folks for hours. He got much of his n supply from the reaction of others to his ability to be funny and entertaining. He was famous for telling very inappropriate jokes and stories in inappropriate settings and without me around to rein him in, I'm sure that is now out of control. I think others on this site have also talked about this "quality" in their n relationships. I never saw it, but heard my nfather's friends talk about how funny he could be, too in a social situation.
Sorry to be off topic, but just thought I would respond to that comment. Carry on. . .
Brigid
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Hi Brigid! How are you? Thanks for comment. yeah, my N mother was the life of the party, although her humour too was often inappropriate, at someone's else's expense and lots of sarcasm. I do know other Ns who think they're hilarious when in fact they're not even remotely! Curious about other's experiences.
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Hey all.....no off topic worries!!! :D
Welllll......Moira....according to your description.....I'm very much N.
For years I didn't remember my dreams and I am only starting to now.
(I've always thought this was a sort of ....an unconscious coping mechanism because I would often wake with the distinct feeling that I had had a nightmare...a very nasty one...and feel fear and be perspiring etc....but no memory of the dream. I guess I thought my unconscious mind was trying to protect me somehow by "forgetting").
Plus, I'm notorious for talking in my sleep and sometimes.....walking in my sleep! :shock:
(once I even ran....full speed...down the hall....turned a corner and went face first into the front door!! That'll wake ya up....every time...let me tell ya!! :shock:).
Also, I have a hard time, sometimes, especially when I first meet people.....looking them in the eye. I've had this since I was a child....when it was safer to just avoid eye contact (rather than getting the "what are you looking at" smack in the head or "I'll cuff your ears!" threat). Once I feel comfortable, I'm fine but I even do it with friends I've known for years, when we first make contact and for a few minutes after that. Or if it is a situation in which I must be assertive...for some reason....I ignor all my fears and have no problem with eye contact. I guess I'm weird. :roll:
I think I have a fairly good sense of humour and I sure love joking around. And....I don't do the teeth thingy..as far a I know..so maybe there's hope for me yet?? :wink:
Hi Brigid.....re your dream.
It's possible that even though you didn't discuss divorce while you were married....you had some indication that divorce would be the eventual outcome. Maybe ....due to the way your exh treated you during the marriage....you unconsciously suspected this end?? I think you're probably right about those dreams. Or...maybe there were premonitions??? :shock:
You have such a big heart Brigid. And there's nothing wrong with not being "a person who easily stops loving. " Who says you have to stop? Is there a law about that?
When two people spend that much time together....it can't be forgotton so easily.
Maybe it's not your exh that you were upset with...maybe it was his behaviour, which he didn't take responsibility for and wasn't willing to face??
It's ok to care about him....the person....and to reject his behaviour.
For sure.....he didn't appreciate your loving heart.....he threw you away....and you're much better off without a person who behaves like that in your life.
Maybe your heart is still struggling with your mind about that...unconsciously??
If so....it's good that it's coming out in your dreams because that makes you aware of it...and more able to consider it consciously.
Still...I'm sorry for these disturbing dreams. They will pass soon I hope.
(at least you're not dreaming about Mudpuppy again!!!! :D :D)
Sela
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Also Ns tend not to make any eye contact and I also read their smiles are unlike normal human smiles- they tend to bare their teeth in a predatory way- like dogs ...or wolves! Wonder if anyone else has noticed any of this with their Ns?
Neither of my Nparents are like this.
However my Nbrother is. And my Nbiological father is too. Sometimes what eminated from both my Nbro and him was pure evil.
The eye contact was just the opposite for my Nbro and my Nbiof. They both used eye contact to intimidate and control the conversation in their direction. My Nbiof especially had this "talent" to use eye contact to control, intimidate and threaten. He didn't have to make a sound, just a look. He also demanded that I look into his eyes or I would be severely punished. He was sadistic (that's putting it mild)!
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My dreams are my subconscious mind's way of telling a message.
Sometimes they are about memories of things which happened to me. Those are recurring and quite disturbing. Each time I have one, a piece of the puzzle comes forth. I write it down. I thank my mind for bringing this message to me. With each recurring dream more of the picture reveals itself. I've learned to accept and embrace the source and then record the information. The dreams will have little or no symbolism. There will be a heavy replacement of characters, someone else representing me, a dissociative element.
Another type are dreams which tell me something I am presently doing is not healthy - physically, emotionally, mentally or psychologically - or that I need to change my life or a change is coming. The dreams will have a lot of symbolism. I take these as immediate to act upon messages. Either do something right now to change what is going on around me or suffer further consequences or pay attention to what you are doing and make sure it is healthy. One of these common recurring themes is being in the driver's seat of a huge semi-truck. I'm going down this steep hill and suddenly the brakes go out or the steering wheel comes off or the gas pedal is stuck or all of them. I'm about to lose control of the semi-truck. I wake up and know there is something I need to let go of in my life. I'm not supposed to be in the driver's seat. :lol: For me God belongs in the driver's seat of my semi-truck. I sit in the front passenger's seat. :lol:
One time I had some disturbing dreams about work. They were the same over and over. The feeling nature of the dream was a person who we just hired is not who they say they are. I already got that gut feeling and then this dream gave me the confirmation. Within a couple of weeks the person was terminated. My intuition was correct, the person and their spouse turned out to be crooks.
Another type is foretelling of future events. I've had these since I was a kid and they are about 99% accurate. And scary accurate. They are very realistic dreams with occasional symbolism especially if the dream is about something in the distant future. Sometimes a wonderful dream where I am given a hopeful word for current situations. Other times a warning of something coming. There are no known dates for these occurrences. They can be two years or more notice or within a short time. Either I will have an urgent feeling when I wake up if the event will occur soon. Or a feeling that something is on the horizon and I'm being mentally/emotionally prepared for the event.
I remember most of my dreams because I've told my subconscious mind that whatever it wants to tell me is okay. I keep a pen and paper near my bedside at all times so I can write down what I dream about.
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ITexperiment
My dreams are like yours. I always pay attention to the really vivid ones. Sometimes the lessor important ones, are just bits & pieces of the days activities, I can recognize these. Others, many others, are messages that I know I need to pay attention to.
I am very intuitive and have had many premonition dreams. For about 4-5 days before a full moon, I have very intense dreams at that time, often of some headline in a newspaper or a tv news story. An experiment was done years ago on this ability to dream of the news, not necessarily a prediction, but seeing the story in the news. The results were amazing, something like over 85% of time being correct. Mine are close to 99%. My therapists have been interested in further tests with me. The experiment talked about and the theory of time placement....
I ran into a priest one day who told me that dreams were messages from God-a gift have you. That God has even taken people from thier sleep and travelled with them to beautiful places. These we don't remember-but we awaken feeling so extra good & refreshed and filled with an extra zest for life.
As my father lay dying 6 yrs ago, I found out I was pg.-no one knew. I miscarried a few days before his death. After the funeral, my mother told me of a dream she had the nite before, she looked at me and said "your dad is holding the baby, it's ok-did you have a baby?" My mother has had many premonition dreams also, as does a sister of mine...
Sunshine
Hello Sunshine,
I have known these dreams about future events are from God for a couple of years now. The creepiest one yet was 9 months before 9-11. I had one about this Arab man who was staying at a hotel inside my house. I realized its meaning after 9-11.
When I was a kid I had a dream about 3000 tornadoes touching down in the mid-west. I could literally see the newspaper headlines and a television newscast of the tornadoes. One of the most vivid pictures in my dream was of a family in the hallway of their home. I saw the roof torn off and they were huddled safe under some debri. This was reported on the news. The actual event happened about 3 days later. I remembering telling Nm about the dream before it happened in real life. She dismissed it. Then when the newscast came on her mouth dropped open.
I'm an INFP and very intuitive also.
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Hello,
I have been lurking here for a bit and it is so gratifying to read your posts. (I have an N dad. I just did a search on "devouring father" and what an eyeopener that was!) I have been keeping and recording my dreams for a while and just wanted to chime in.
I am really in awe of people who have premonitions through their dreams! I wish I could do that! What a gift to treasure.
I was thinking about this thread this week and about the posts above discussing Ns appearing in dreams. I wondered if, in addition to an N just plain representing a recent interchange, the N in our dreams could be the "bad stuff" we push away from ourselves. I am always concerned that when I start acting in conscious self-interest, that I am becoming selfish, that is, just like my N! But of course, all of us need to act out of self-interest at times for our own survival. But we have received the message that we should push away our own survival for the Ns.
And so, after reading these posts, I wondered how I could "embrace my inner N."
So last night I had a dream about another person, a rowdy guy, and I taking turns putting on outlandish wigs. He then said, here, I'd really like to see you in this one. It was a straw "bucket" hat with pig ears, a pig snout, and pouty lips. At first I was insulted but when I put it on, I decided to have fun with it. I impersonated Miss Piggy!! I kept going around to everyone saying "Yay, moi!" I was being placed in a chorus of singers in the alto section, and I replied "Miss Piggy is not an alto! Miss Piggy is a soprano!"
So I guess my inner N is Miss Piggy, new prima donna! I hope you don't mind such a silly introduction. Just wanted to say hello.
MP
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After everything he did, I shouldn't feel anything but disdain, but I am not a person who easily stops loving. I recently read on some post about hate and love being so closely connected and it would be indifference that is the goal to be completely over the person.
I'm not sure that it is possible to stop caring about someone, just because they don't deserve to be cared about. It is more a case of not allowing them to use our own feelings of love or compassion against us.
N people don't want our love; they just want the attention. Just like in your dream, in fact. He was not responding, or conversing, or interacting with you. You were talking; he was lapping up the attention. It looks like listening, but it isn't.
I am in a similar but different situation with my ex (which is why what I wrote could have as easily been about me as anyone else, it could have been projection.) He is dying (as far as I can tell, but he is a liar, and may be lying about some aspects of his condition), and I can't help caring about that. The other day I was thinking about this, and a few tears came, and then I realised that in all the years I have known him, and supported him, and heard about all of his problems, I doubt if he has ever shed one single tear for me and my situation. It is always about him and how badly the world treats him. He is a permanent victim, and I am supposed to be a permanent sympathiser. And if I won't do it, he gets our daughter to do it instead.
I am having again today to learn the same lesson over again. Don't let him suck me in. Put up the defences again. I have my own life, and my own problems, and nobody helping me solve those problems, so why should I start now to try to solve any of his, just because he is finally achieving the death he has been aiming for all these years.
Sorry, don't want to get carried away. But this is not about killing the love within us, or trying to stifle it into indifference. It is about recognising that if we allow others to see that love, sometimes they will use it against us. Sometimes we have to allow that love to be, but realise that the object is not real; the person we love does not really exist. Maybe if we have faith, we can offer the love to G-d instead, or to some other person or even to ourselves. Anyone, rather than the vampires.
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My dreams have been very vivid lately and seem to be about a variety of issues including the ex. Had an elaborate medical dream last night where a body was freeze dried and then brought back to life to test for AIDS I believe. Dont know what that was all about. Another very sad dreaam about my nieces growing up. Sad in the fact that the older ones already do not want to spend as much time with me as when they were younger and that the younger ones were now older too. It is inevitable and I know why I dreamed that.
On a different note, the ex called out of the blue and left a message on the answering machine. I was shocked. Thought he was so mad at me he would leave me alone. His message was like nothing bad had ever happened between us. Like we were old friends and he was just checking up on me. I couldnt believe his short memory and gall. Naturally did not call him back. Looks like he tried to call again last night. Yuck!!
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Hiya Bliz:
re your dreams....who's body was freeze dried? Maybe that was a bit of aggression coming out in your dream, if the body belonged to your es? Sorry, I don't know your story but I'm wondering if you might be subconsciously worried about your ex having many partners (either prior to or during your relationship with him) and thus the aids thingy? Maybe just fear coming out? If so, a good thing, imo.
Wellllll.... I had a strange dream last night. It was about Stormy (hiya Stormy....thinking about you in my dreams!!! :D).
In my dream, I found out that Stormy works about 6 miles from here at the zoo (not as some cage cleaner but as a very important animal biologist, who is helping the zoo determine all kinds of important stuff to do with caring for the animals/diseases/feeding/socialization etc). I called the zoo and managed to arrange meeting Stormy at a coffee shop. Once there, I told her that she is a wonderful person doing an important and very wonderful job, that she is a good, kind, loving person who has had bad experiences, that she has been hurt and she really deserves to heal. I said: "Stormy, I don't like reading about you having bad thoughts about yourself or ending your life. I look up to you and I want you to try harder to appreciate yourself and reward yourself for all you do." Stormy looked quite shocked at my words and didn't say anything, so I continued saying:
"Stormy, I accept you the way you are and I will be your friend. Please don't be so hard on yourself".
Wish you did work in the zoo near here and we could meet for a chat and a hug, Stormy! I guess I got the feeling that you are upset right now and I truly believe you deserve much better and that there will be happier times ahead for you. At the very least, these must be strong hopes for you, for me to dream of them.
((((((Stormy)))))
Sela
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Hi Sela,
I don tknow whose body was freeze dried in my dream. It was a dream that seemed to come out of nowhere and I couldnt figure out the analogies. The ex didnt sleep with other women and we were both tested before so doubt that was it, although I do appreciate the insight. It could be a general dream about him being, "sick", since he tried to reach me last week. Dont know. Just seemed odd enough to share.
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On a different note, the ex called out of the blue and left a message on the answering machine. I was shocked. Thought he was so mad at me he would leave me alone. His message was like nothing bad had ever happened between us. Like we were old friends and he was just checking up on me. I couldnt believe his short memory and gall. Naturally did not call him back. Looks like he tried to call again last night. Yuck!!
About calling up as if nothing bad is happened, i think that is something
that borderline is likely to do and maybe narcissists too.
Any thoughts if narcissist are as likely, less likely, or more likely
to do this. i kind of think borderlines are more likely to do this....
that kind of back and forth thing they do more where one moment someone
is wonderful, the next, horrible...
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Hiya Bliz:
It could be a general dream about him being, "sick", since he tried to reach me last week. Dont know. Just seemed odd enough to share.
Now I get it. He phoned and thennnnnn you had this dream. I bet you're right about the dream being related to that event (phone call). He's freeze dried inside and out? And sick too! That makes sense.
Well....I'm not much help but I appreciate you sharing. It helps me to know that I'm not the only one with some really odd/strange/weird dreams. It's probably a good thing that you dream like that, after such events. It's another release, I think. Even if we don't always understand it.
Hope you are having some pleasant dreams too!
:D Sela
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My dreams have been very vivid lately and seem to be about a variety of issues including the ex. Had an elaborate medical dream last night where a body was freeze dried and then brought back to life to test for AIDS I believe. Dont know what that was all about. Another very sad dreaam about my nieces growing up. Sad in the fact that the older ones already do not want to spend as much time with me as when they were younger and that the younger ones were now older too. It is inevitable and I know why I dreamed that.
On the medical dream---the freeze dried body could be becoming emotional and cold about
Past issues for self protection and now that you have a bit more understanding… reawakening
Those emotions to better examine what kind of sickness they might have encompassed to
Overcome more aspects of it on a deeper level..
The nieces dream could be about difficulty with what apostle paul
Says when one matures one puts away childish things….
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Thanks all for the help on dream imterpretation. I was having some elaborate dream again last night when I dreamed I had sex wth the ex...Yikes!! That could have been triggered by me having a date today. The funny part was he had a nipple ring in the dream and I was thinking..oh yea, that is so like you to do something that you think is cool, but is actually ridiculous. After all he is 48 now. I have been having some hormonal issues so that could also be why I am dreaming so vividly and about the ex. Thanks for listening.
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Thanks all for the help on dream imterpretation. I was having some elaborate dream again last night when I dreamed I had sex wth the ex...Yikes!! That could have been triggered by me having a date today. The funny part was he had a nipple ring in the dream and I was thinking..oh yea, that is so like you to do something that you think is cool, but is actually ridiculous. After all he is 48 now. I have been having some hormonal issues so that could also be why I am dreaming so vividly and about the ex. Thanks for listening.
well now, now one might be becoming curiouser and curiouser about
what pray tell might be some of the elaborate part of your dream...oops
..well the dream before more ...just hit me that maybe all the elaborate part of
this dream could be x-rated but ifn there were parts that were elaborate
and not x-rated that could be helpful for dream interpretation possibly.
age 49 is some metaphysical systems can be a very potent transformation year.
often part of the narcissist agenda is to pick up on anothers deeper fears and desires
and yet keep it hidden how they are able to yank around another's energies
up and down.
if they havent moved to a more full blown psychopath i think
they tend to be less aware of the specifics of how they do that.
so that narcissitic connections might come into play
when one is trying to deal with intense and hidden aspects of self.
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Two nights ago I dreamed that I went for a routine hospital appointment (not sure what kind), and there was some confusion. Lots of whispering in corners, before a nurse came and told me I needed a different ward, and she would take me there. She took me on a long journey, even including a bus ride across town to somewhere totally new. I was very confused and bewildered, and eventually asked where we were going, and she said we were nearly there. Somehow I realised from what she was not saying that she was taking me to a secure unit, to be commited. (This is one of my greatest fears.) We eventually reached the building, and she took me into the hospital shop and started buying me supplies such as toothpaste and toilet rolls ( :?) and I thought, good grief, how long does she think I am going to be here for? But we never got as far as the unit itself.
Last night I had another hospital appointment dream. There were a whole lot of people sitting and waiting, and we were in the same room as the doctor and the patient he was looking at, and he started talking to all of us, as if we were trainee doctors, telling us all about the patient, and what was wrong with him (I think he had renal failure or something). It was very interesting stuff, but not at all private or confidential for the poor soul being examined. And my name got forgotten, and I missed my place, but I wasn't sorry, because although I knew I needed to see the doctor, I preferred not being examined in public. My dream version of group therapy, I think that is.
Pretty sure this relates to the confusion with my therapy, and a growing doctor phobia. I need to make an appointment to get C some new medication on Monday. That one I can do. For myself, it is not so easy.
I just remembered another one from last night; visiting a very old friend - my oldest friend in fact. She worked in a big company, in an office. I was talking to her and she mentioned a vacancy in the company, and as she described it I realised that it was exactly what I could do; everything they wanted I had lots of experiece of, and felt I could do well. But when I mentioned that to her, she told me not to apply, because she didn't think I would get the job. She told me that after all this time nobody would want me, and that it would be embarrassing for her if I tried. She would prefer me to apply to another company, rather than the one she already worked for.
If she had said this in reality, it would have been really hurtful, and also nothing like this friend, who is very loving and supportive. So it is me saying it to myself really. Which is true enough. :?
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I finallly had another hormone screen and certain levels are way up. This could be why I am having these elaborate dreams and not sleepoing that well. TO an other ladies of a certain age, that may be part of the issue.
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Two nights ago I dreamed that I went for a routine hospital appointment (not sure what kind), and there was some confusion. Lots of whispering in corners, before a nurse came and told me I needed a different ward, and she would take me there. She took me on a long journey, even including a bus ride across town to somewhere totally new. I was very confused and bewildered, and eventually asked where we were going, and she said we were nearly there. Somehow I realised from what she was not saying that she was taking me to a secure unit, to be commited. (This is one of my greatest fears.) We eventually reached the building, and she took me into the hospital shop and started buying me supplies such as toothpaste and toilet rolls ( :?) and I thought, good grief, how long does she think I am going to be here for? But we never got as far as the unit itself.
Last night I had another hospital appointment dream. There were a whole lot of people sitting and waiting, and we were in the same room as the doctor and the patient he was looking at, and he started talking to all of us, as if we were trainee doctors, telling us all about the patient, and what was wrong with him (I think he had renal failure or something). It was very interesting stuff, but not at all private or confidential for the poor soul being examined. And my name got forgotten, and I missed my place, but I wasn't sorry, because although I knew I needed to see the doctor, I preferred not being examined in public. My dream version of group therapy, I think that is.
Pretty sure this relates to the confusion with my therapy, and a growing doctor phobia. I need to make an appointment to get C some new medication on Monday. That one I can do. For myself, it is not so easy.
I just remembered another one from last night; visiting a very old friend - my oldest friend in fact. She worked in a big company, in an office. I was talking to her and she mentioned a vacancy in the company, and as she described it I realised that it was exactly what I could do; everything they wanted I had lots of experiece of, and felt I could do well. But when I mentioned that to her, she told me not to apply, because she didn't think I would get the job. She told me that after all this time nobody would want me, and that it would be embarrassing for her if I tried. She would prefer me to apply to another company, rather than the one she already worked for.
If she had said this in reality, it would have been really hurtful, and also nothing like this friend, who is very loving and supportive. So it is me saying it to myself really. Which is true enough. :?
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Two nights ago I dreamed that I went for a routine hospital appointment (not sure what kind), and there was some confusion. Lots of whispering in corners, before a nurse came and told me I needed a different ward, and she would take me there. She took me on a long journey, even including a bus ride across town to somewhere totally new. I was very confused and bewildered, and eventually asked where we were going, and she said we were nearly there. Somehow I realised from what she was not saying that she was taking me to a secure unit, to be commited. (This is one of my greatest fears.) We eventually reached the building, and she took me into the hospital shop and started buying me supplies such as toothpaste and toilet rolls ( :?) and I thought, good grief, how long does she think I am going to be here for? But we never got as far as the unit itself.
Last night I had another hospital appointment dream. There were a whole lot of people sitting and waiting, and we were in the same room as the doctor and the patient he was looking at, and he started talking to all of us, as if we were trainee doctors, telling us all about the patient, and what was wrong with him (I think he had renal failure or something). It was very interesting stuff, but not at all private or confidential for the poor soul being examined. And my name got forgotten, and I missed my place, but I wasn't sorry, because although I knew I needed to see the doctor, I preferred not being examined in public. My dream version of group therapy, I think that is.
Pretty sure this relates to the confusion with my therapy, and a growing doctor phobia. I need to make an appointment to get C some new medication on Monday. That one I can do. For myself, it is not so easy.
I just remembered another one from last night; visiting a very old friend - my oldest friend in fact. She worked in a big company, in an office. I was talking to her and she mentioned a vacancy in the company, and as she described it I realised that it was exactly what I could do; everything they wanted I had lots of experiece of, and felt I could do well. But when I mentioned that to her, she told me not to apply, because she didn't think I would get the job. She told me that after all this time nobody would want me, and that it would be embarrassing for her if I tried. She would prefer me to apply to another company, rather than the one she already worked for.
If she had said this in reality, it would have been really hurtful, and also nothing like this friend, who is very loving and supportive. So it is me saying it to myself really. Which is true enough. :?
Two nights ago I dreamed that I went for a routine hospital appointment (not sure what kind), and there was some confusion. Lots of whispering in corners, before a nurse came and told me I needed a different ward, and she would take me there. She took me on a long journey, even including a bus ride across town to somewhere totally new. I was very confused and bewildered, and eventually asked where we were going, and she said we were nearly there. Somehow I realised from what she was not saying that she was taking me to a secure unit, to be commited. (This is one of my greatest fears.) We eventually reached the building, and she took me into the hospital shop and started buying me supplies such as toothpaste and toilet rolls ( ) and I thought, good grief, how long does she think I am going to be here for? But we never got as far as the unit itself.
Last night I had another hospital appointment dream. There were a whole lot of people sitting and waiting, and we were in the same room as the doctor and the patient he was looking at, and he started talking to all of us, as if we were trainee doctors, telling us all about the patient, and what was wrong with him (I think he had renal failure or something). It was very interesting stuff, but not at all private or confidential for the poor soul being examined. And my name got forgotten, and I missed my place, but I wasn't sorry, because although I knew I needed to see the doctor, I preferred not being examined in public. My dream version of group therapy, I think that is.
Pretty sure this relates to the confusion with my therapy, and a growing doctor phobia. I need to make an appointment to get C some new medication on Monday. That one I can do. For myself, it is not so easy.
I just remembered another one from last night; visiting a very old friend - my oldest friend in fact. She worked in a big company, in an office. I was talking to her and she mentioned a vacancy in the company, and as she described it I realised that it was exactly what I could do; everything they wanted I had lots of experiece of, and felt I could do well. But when I mentioned that to her, she told me not to apply, because she didn't think I would get the job. She told me that after all this time nobody would want me, and that it would be embarrassing for her if I tried. She would prefer me to apply to another company, rather than the one she already worked for.
If she had said this in reality, it would have been really hurtful, and also nothing like this friend, who is very loving and supportive. So it is me saying it to myself really. Which is true enough
DREAM 1
IDEAS...the routine established way of healing and its lackings might be
where some of the frustrations find their roots...
such as ... in a kafka novel where the bureaucacy ends up
at so many dead ends and preoccupies one so much that one misses
opening the real door of opportunity...
DREAM 2
KIND OF DITTO TO DREAM 1
DREAM 3
2 POSSIBLE IDEAS..
the old friend as a true guide
that staying inside the same company is remaining in the same kafkaesque bureaucacy
and being rescued is kind of like thinking that changing the tables and chairs in
the dining room of the sinking titanic is gonna save the ship...
well if one does it with the right faith it actually could :) maybe....
as god works in mysterious ways :)
..the other possible idea.. your interpretation is right :)
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Hi October:
This is late, since your dreams were back in July but I just thought I'd comment that it sounds to me like you were just feeling so deflated/frustrated/etc with the system and it's ability to help you and that that caused a great fear that the system might even try to harm you (by taking you into some permanent ward where you didn't want to be)....probably as you said due to the trouble with your T and all. Still.....it's a good thing that these fears/whatnot came out in a dream making more space for possibly more comfortable feelings and in a way...to demonstrate the absurdity of the fear (not that it is absurd to feel that fear but just that the likelihood of such a thing happening, the way it happened in the dream, is absurd and kind of comical......toilet rolls and all --heehee) and hopefully diffuse it a little. How is it going now? Have you been able to get support anywhere? Have you become your own therapist? (no kidding.....sometimes it's all one can do eh?). Hope you are feeling better. (((((((October))))))))
As for me....I had a real dilly dream last night. I dreamt that my aunt came to visit and my exhusband was just falling all over being kind and generous and thoughtful and polite and over extending himself to and for her. He was extremely giving and caring and just the ultimate host of all hosts and when my aunt went to leave, she said she had had a fabulous time and was so grateful to my ex for his "hospitality" etc. After she was gone, I walked over to my ex, kissed him on the cheek and thanked him too and told him he could go home now and be his real self. Woke up totally stunned!!! :shock: :shock:
This is an aunt who behaves very N very often and who I keep contact with very sparsely. In the past, when I was married to my ex, he treated this particular aunt with disdain and cruelty, which, even though she's not my favorite aunt, I felt was truly awful and horrible of him. He is the least likely hospitable host alive and that kiss on the cheek and the feeling that he was here, in my home, performing some art for my aunt, left my lips all dried up and my throat feeling choaky when I awoke. OOOOOOooooooo! Yuk!!!
How weird is that? And speaking of absurd......... :lol: :P :D
:D Sela
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Hi October:
How is it going now? Have you been able to get support anywhere? Have you become your own therapist? (no kidding.....sometimes it's all one can do eh?). Hope you are feeling better. (((((((October))))))))
:D Sela
How it is going is that I rang the hospital a week ago, to make an appointment with my psychiatrist, to find I had been discharged. I told the receptionist in no uncertain terms that I am not discharged, and that they have made a mistake, and told her to investigate. She rang me back half an hour later to say she had cancelled the discharge, and gave me an appointment - for October!!!!! Nice to know I am a priority. :(
The referral to group therapy has not happened - I have not seen any paperwork whatever about that, so it looks like Diane forgot. I am not strong enough to chase this up at present, so will wait until October. Maybe I will have recovered a little by then.
Meanwhile, C and I are doing ok. We are going to my brother's wedding, which is rather scarey, but I have handled a lot in getting us this far, and we leave on Sunday. It has been very difficult. But I don't want her to learn how to run away from life forever, so I decided some weeks back to be as positive as I could be, and see what could be done, bit by bit. (I also conquered my fear of doctors enough to go and ask for help for the flights, and got that without any problems (mild tranquillisers). The GP was rather amazed at my bravery, I think. I might have to revise my negative views of doctors after meeting him. Very nice doctor.)
I thought your dream about your aunt was interesting. Will we ever give up hoping for these people to change and become the people we deserve them to be? :? I like the way that your ex managed to fool her, but didn't fool you for a minute. :lol:
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Hi again October:
Well...it sounds like October might be the month of starting new stuff for you. Not a bad month eh? I have always wondered about your name...come to think of it. If you feel like it....please tell how you decided upon it (so much comes to mind....fall colours, Thanksgiving - in Canada, Halloween, crisp mornings, geese heading south, etc-- lovely month really eh?).
I will pray that you have a lovely time at the wedding and all goes well. Enjoy! Your daughter is lucky to have a mum who is so considerate of her. Very glad to hear you found a very nice doc! Right now, I haven't got one at all (mine retired) and there aren't enough family docs to go around here. I just keep hoping nothing serious goes wrong until one becomes available, hopefully soon and hopefully...a nice one like you found too.
I like the way that your ex managed to fool her, but didn't fool you for a minute.
Thanks for pointing that out. I didn't think of it at all. I think I have been very frustrated with my ex lately for all the promises he keeps making and breaking to my kids. Nothing new, for him, but it's hard to watch and then try to console their disappointment. I guess my frustrations come out pretty clearly in my dreams. This is fairly new and a good thing for me, I think. It feels kinda like purging or something. Even when I do wake up almost gagging and in shock! :D
Have fun at that wedding!! I hope you and your daughter enjoy yourselves October!
:D Sela
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This is probably one of the longest (seeming) dreams I've had in a long time. It felt like it went on and on but it might have been short.
I was looking for this encampment in a wilderness area. The directions were very complicated and when I got to a place near the encampment I kept trying to remember an important bit of information. When I finally did remember it, I heard it repeated over and over again in my head and saw a picture of a rushing river flowing over a road. Don't cross the river when the water is high, your car will be swept away. I have no idea what this means. I remember waiting until the river wasn't over the road before crossing it.
Although the symbol for my soul is a rushing river so I thought maybe it has to do with something spiritual? Not sure.
Any ideas?
Thanks!
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I was looking for this encampment in a wilderness area. The directions were very complicated and when I got to a place near the encampment I kept trying to remember an important bit of information. When I finally did remember it, I heard it repeated over and over again in my head and saw a picture of a rushing river flowing over a road. Don't cross the river when the water is high, your car will be swept away. I have no idea what this means. I remember waiting until the river wasn't over the road before crossing it.
Although the symbol for my soul is a rushing river so I thought maybe it has to do with something spiritual? Not sure.
Any ideas?
Thanks!
I can see two possible answers here. A simple one, and a slightly deeper one. The simple one is that you are a careful person, who remembers useful advice and follows it. Ns would disregard this kind of information, and think, I can drive perfectly well, a bit of water isn't going to harm me. And they might well drown. You didn't. You thought, I need to remember something, then you remembered it, and you followed it. Well done you.
The slightly deeper answer is that a river crossing a road is called a ford. Sometimes the mind plays clever word games, and this one might say, don't buy a car that you can't afford, or it might get repossessed. Either buy a less expensive one, or else wait until you can afford it, and then enjoy driving it. :D Which it seems is what you have done.
Take your pick. :lol:
I like the idea of the wilderness, though. That speaks to me of exploring yourself, and finding out unexpected and wonderful things. I hope you enjoy doing that!!!!
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[quote author=Sela link=topic=1363.msg28384#msg28384 date=1124936927
Well...it sounds like October might be the month of starting new stuff for you. Not a bad month eh? I have always wondered about your name...come to think of it. If you feel like it....please tell how you decided upon it (so much comes to mind....fall colours, Thanksgiving - in Canada, Halloween, crisp mornings, geese heading south, etc-- lovely month really eh?).
Have fun at that wedding!! I hope you and your daughter enjoy yourselves October!
:D Sela
I've been a bit scared to post too much here the past week or so, because this wedding is a huge risk. However, it has worked out that C and I get to stay in a separate flat from my parents and brother, and we have separate flights too. So with any luck we will have a good enough time.
We have sorted jabs, and insurance, and mosquito spray, and flights and everything. We have everything packed and lifts to the airport sorted out. I am still v v frightened of the whole thing, but even managed to get some tranquillisers from my GP to help with the flights, so that I can stay calm for C. Today we marked the route on a world map, and I have told C that we are going to treat the journey as the best part of the holiday, because for me travelling is the best thing in the world to do. (That is part of the person I used to be trying to get out once more!!) And now she says that when she grows up she is going to travel all over the world, and I am so pleased to hear her say that, because it is what I want for her; to feel that the world belongs to her just as much as to anyone else, and to grasp life with both hands, rather than becoming like me, afraid to leave my own home.
My name is very boring really. I was born in October, and it was the best name I could think of. :) But it is a beautiful season of the year, with the leaves turning and everything. Actually, they are turning now in my garden - the seasons are arriving earlier 'they' say. I told C we will leave in summer, and return a fortnight later and probably feel very autumnal.
Just one thing about your ex; if he breaks a promise to your children, I am not sure what you do, but I would not hide it from them. Let them be honest and feel hurt if he hurts them. I am sure you are v sensible already, but I find a lot of people around C try to tell her how to feel, and not to hate/dislike/be disappointed with her dad, when in fact her feelings are perfectly normal and understandable. I thought I would mention it, that is all. Sorry your ex is being so mean, though.
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Hiya October:
I'm very proud of you for going ahead and making plans and committing to facing your fears in order to go to the wedding and show your daughter some really good stuff and for he benefit too. That is a wonderful accomplishment (number of them) already so good for you for doing all of that! I bet it was not easy even phoning for the reservations and stuff but you have dealt with your fear and gone ahead anyhow, which is fantastic!!
I bet you will both enjoy the travelling, just as you hope to, and have a great time at the weddding also! You are being the person you used to be and getting out once more!! Who knows? Maybe this will give you more confidence to go out more often or again soon!
There was a book I read, can't remember the author's name at the moment but the title was:
"I'd rather laugh".
I remember she described how her entire life went haywire (divorce after 25? years, illness?) and then her son, in his early twenties, suddenly died (by accident). She was totally devistated and eventually developed the same phobia about going out and became a recluse (I think for 11 years). She described how she overcame the fear and triumphed over her phobia. Wish I could remember the author. Maybe you've already read it?
Anyhow, glad you are going and I will pray that all goes well and that you and C will have the time of your lives!! What a wonderful adventure!!! Have a sip of something at the wedding for me! I love weddings!!
As to your name.....what a great idea! I think it's marvelous, honestly, because it's a fact about you (and a lovely month to boot!).
Re my ex......well.....thanks for the suggestions. He makes promises to them and then breaks them and they tell me about it and express their disappointment. I neither support nor bad mouth their father but rather just listen and try to acknowledge their thoughts and feelings (which are exactly as you say...normal and understandable and I pretty much tell them that). They usually seem to feel better afterward and go on about some other subject or sometimes just say: "Thanks Mom".
But afterward....when they are gone....and I think about his behaviour and his total lack of consideration for them.....I want to throttle him. I feel extreme anger and resentment. I feel frustrated because I know this will happen again and again. I feel like giving him the duct tape treatment, a lot of the time too! So.....I have to find a way to release all that and I do but obviously, the residual is seeping into my beauty sleep time ( :D haha).
Oh well......I'll live. I just wish for once he would smarten up and do what he says. He's not a bad person but he's irresponsible and selfish. He means well probably when he makes all these promises but it's all talk and no action. Sometimes I think he just doesn't think at all before he opens his trap (which I suppose most of us have done at one time or another?).
:D Sela
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Had a weird dream this morning. I had started drinking again and was sent to a rehab hospital. Next thing I know I am on some island paradise place and the ex is there. He thinks we can get back together but I am avoiding him. I think I am starting to waver on this when some gf's arrive and try to get me to marry an old 7th grade crush. Fast forward I am back in the rehab hospital and my mother is there and other friends. It was weird. NO idea what it means.
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Had a weird dream this morning. I had started drinking again and was sent to a rehab hospital. Next thing I know I am on some island paradise place and the ex is there. He thinks we can get back together but I am avoiding him. I think I am starting to waver on this when some gf's arrive and try to get me to marry an old 7th grade crush. Fast forward I am back in the rehab hospital and my mother is there and other friends. It was weird. NO idea what it means.
I read once that dreams are indicative of both fears and wishes - one or the other. Yours appears to be a mixture of what you fear and what you would wish for, all tangled up.
At a guess, it might be telling you that you are confused, and to concentrate on deciding what you actually want, and then on getting it. I wish I could do that myself!!!!!! :)
Hope that helps.
xxxxxxx
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I had a dream after my partner died that I will never forget so I would like to share it. It was very vivid and in bright colours. we were in a house that was similar to mine but a lot more homely and comfortable. we were so excited to see each other. he kept saying that though we had decided before we came for this to happen (him dying) he couldn't bear it and missed me so much. There was a security man standing on the door waiting for him and I knew that he had not got long...
He took me into the front room of the house and it was even homlier and there was a beautiful fire burning in the hearth. He said that there was a puzzle that I had to figure out and he showed me all these really complicated pieces of red pulsating stuff on the table in really complex shapes. he said that I must ask my daughter for help as she had all the answers. He showed me my daughter sitting in a corner of the room and she had completed the puzzle. It was like a bright, red pulsating pyramid. i woke up feeling calm, at peace and energised all at the same time.
The next day I took my daughter out shopping and we were walking around the town and I told her about the dream. I just said to her that he had said that she had the answers to the puzzle and she said. I know it's a red triangle. She did not know why she said it but it was really strange. It was like it really happened. It kind of had an electric quality to the dream. I know I sound a bit mad now but I've had a couple since. They are always very vivid and I always wake up feeling the same...
Spyralle
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SPyralle,
This kind of dream is a gift. I have had some like this. It is wonderful that your daughter actually had the answer and scary too I am sure. Cherish this dream. It was sent to you for a purpose I believe and I am not some kind of wacked out new ager. (Please all you believers of New Age philosophy, do not send me hate mail.)
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The night I had the hurricane dream, Hurricane Katrina actually took a weird, unforecasted turn and hit where my house is in Florida. I had no idea until last night. Little damage. Maybe the dream was prophetic.
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Hi everyone
Sela: the book you mention is by Linda Richman, Mike Myer's mother in law. I'd read it a long time ago and it was interesting to read her story.
Bliz: I wonder if the island paradise is some sort of fantasy place of how life is beautiful with the ex but also isolating. ?
Spyralle: wow, fantastic story about your dream and the red triangle and your daughter. Gives me goose bumps.
I really enjoy dream exploration and do think there is a lot more going on than our consciousness can perceive. I also dabble in astrology, not to predict the future but to use as a personality psychology tool. I grew up in a very conservative household but have always been fascinated with the mysterious.
If one only knows their "sun sign" and reads the horoscope in the newspaper, I can understand why that person would be skeptical. I was too. I do not act at all like my sun sign and finally my curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to get more information about my birth chart. It was amazingly accurate. (I act like my rising sign, scorpio. Your rising sign is your "public face") I'm very private and reserved (scorpio like) but when you get to know me I'm full of surprises.
I'll leave it at that before you all think I go around wearing a pyramid hat on my head! 8)
I had a dream last night where I was in a huge mansion owned by OJ Simpson. i was an employee assistant type and setting up tennis games for people. OJ is headed out to play tennis with a gun in his pocket. I go into a room down the hallway and there are very small animals that fly down the road into the woods. I want to find them before they get hurt. I go to look for them and find most of them in a small cottage. One is a grayish white dove that is sleeping on my shoulder. I am wondering how to hold it, face up or face down. The other animals were about the size of my thumbnail and I was trying to put them in little cups or whatever to give them something to perch on. I am also trying to remember all their names. Meanwhile this huge leggy spider crawls up my leg and gives birth to several tiny spiders. This is creepy but not scary and I brush it off of me. I wonder about the little spiders because they resemble the little animals i am trying to rescue.
Any thoughts?
MP
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A guess:
Parents=facets of your personality that want to dominate you as if you were a child
Landscaping=your superficial aspects
Is there a part of you that convinces you to make superficial changes, and then burdens you with a price to pay that is simply too much? Do you feel compelled to give that part of your personality authority over you?
Suggest:
Realize the superficiality of that aspect of yourself. Give greater credence to your adult heart and mind. You are no longer a child.
:o)
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Hello all:
Thanks Miss Piggy! Yep! That's the book. I really enjoyed reading her story.
Bliz: I bet that dream was prophetic. I've had some like that. I don't like them. I don't seem to understand them at the time and then I feel like an idiot afterwards. Or blessed??? Or both. :roll:
Voxanne: That's very interesting. You have a neat way of interpreting dreams. Makes me old cells vibrate some (heehee :D).
On Saturday night I had a dream that shook me up. I dreamt that my abusers controlled everything. I mean everything in the whole world, everything in my world, from food right down to how fast/slow the clock moved to how much oxygen I was allowed to breathe. They had complete power over everthing I was allowed or not allowed or forced to experience. And they did their very best to control my feelings, which to a certain extent, they succeeded at, by way of torture. I felt quite helpless and beaten, frustrated, angry, full of despair and fear. Trapped. Unable to see a way to escape. I woke up in a great stinky sweat (pew..... :!:) and I felt drained, rather than rested. I didn't like this dream at all.
Sela
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I had a dream after my partner died that I will never forget so I would like to share it. It was very vivid and in bright colours. we were in a house that was similar to mine but a lot more homely and comfortable. we were so excited to see each other. he kept saying that though we had decided before we came for this to happen (him dying) he couldn't bear it and missed me so much. There was a security man standing on the door waiting for him and I knew that he had not got long...
He took me into the front room of the house and it was even homlier and there was a beautiful fire burning in the hearth. He said that there was a puzzle that I had to figure out and he showed me all these really complicated pieces of red pulsating stuff on the table in really complex shapes. he said that I must ask my daughter for help as she had all the answers. He showed me my daughter sitting in a corner of the room and she had completed the puzzle. It was like a bright, red pulsating pyramid. i woke up feeling calm, at peace and energised all at the same time.
The next day I took my daughter out shopping and we were walking around the town and I told her about the dream. I just said to her that he had said that she had the answers to the puzzle and she said. I know it's a red triangle. She did not know why she said it but it was really strange. It was like it really happened. It kind of had an electric quality to the dream. I know I sound a bit mad now but I've had a couple since. They are always very vivid and I always wake up feeling the same...
Spyralle
(((Spyralle))) That is a very healing dream. I don't think you are mad or loony. I wonder what the red pyramind represents...may be something to do with the abuser, victim, rescuer triangle???? I also believe that there we can receive messages from the other side iin our dreams. Now maybe I sound loony, but as Shakespeare wrote. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
My husband's father was very abusive to his whole family and very controlling. He was a doctor, and he died of a massive stroke when my husband was 16. He dropped dead in the middle of a rage at his wife and daughter. I always felt that it was tragic that the last words he said to his family were words of anger...and I always felt that he "went on" to regret that.
I had an incredibly vivid dream of my husband's father on the first night I spent in my husband's childhood home. I dreamt that his father was younger and he was standing in a dark hallway, facing the light, which was behind me and on me. His dad was wearing a white business shirt, dark grey pants, a burgundy Perry Como-ish cardigan, and dark loafers or slippers. He was sad. There was no anger at all in his demeanor, but there was confusion. He and I stood for a long time and simply regarded eachother. There was a strong feeling that he had come to tell me something and that he was glad that I was becoming part of the family. I was very aware during the dream that my husband's father was dead and that I was looking at a spirit, but that he was real. I could feel the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stand up, but I was not afraid...I knew that this was a haunting, but not a bad thing, just very eerie. He told me that he was here to tell me that he loved his family and had been "only trying to help" because he knew that all his kids and his wife had problems (true-all have severe ADHD and learning disabilities), that his rage and anger was because he was afraid for their well-being and their futures. He told me he had been trying to contol them and had raged out of sheer frustration because he couldn't understand why they and their homelife was so chaotic, which was also true. I said to him,"And what good did it do? You hurt everyone. You damaged your children. You hurt your wife." He said,"I didn't mean to. I was only trying to help them." I somehow conveyed to him that I would let them know, but that he would be in the dark and confused until he understood that rage and control, no matter how well-intended, don't help anything. He disappeared and I woke up.
I told my husband and his sister the dream and how vivid it was. Now, I had only seem two photos of their father, one in his medical whites upon graduation from med school and once as a much older man. I told them what their dad wore and my s-i-l revealed that his dad had diabetes and his feet and lower legs were so swollen that he had to wear slip- on shoes. Hubby told me hiis father always wore a white shirt, dark pants and when he wasn't in his whites or a business suit, he would put on a cardigan at home. One of his sweaters was burgundy, a V neck, which is what I had seen. I told them that their father looked much younger, but not as young as the medical school picture...that his face seemed to be rounder. I felt that I was seeing their father in his prime, maybe about age 30 or 35. My husband got some more pictures out and sure enough, his dad's face had become rounder. My husband is dark, and I told him that his father was even more olive complected than my husband, which turned out to be true. I said,"Your father was a very handsome man. You resemble him, but you look more like your grandfather than your dad." I gave them their father's message and told them that I don't think their father has understood everything yet, so he is still somewhat lost in the dark.
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Hi Amethyst,
This is so cool! How did you not feel afraid??? :shock: How did you feel when you saw your FIL in the photo with the sweater?
OK, don't call me a crack pot, but I really do believe in the afterlife, in communication with spirits etc (with verification). I loved John Edward's crossing over show. But if I encountered a spirit myself, I think I would freak!!! Someone pointed out to me that it isn't just a handy turn of phrase when the angels speak in the Bible and the first thing they say is "be not afraid". I wouldn't give them the chance to say anything. :D
It sounds like your H and SIL believed you saw him. How did they respond to his message?
Breathless, MP
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(((Miss Piggy)))If this had happened in a waking state, I would probably have jumped through the window. Part of me realized that it was a dream, even though it felt very real.
Both H and SIL are convinced I met their father and that he is in the process of seeking forgiveness. I don't know if either of them understood that he appeared because of his love for his family, but they both seemed to get some healing from that dream. We all feel that when he reaches the state where he is no longer trying to explain his intentions or justify what made him behave the way he did, that he will go into the light.
I later found out that one of his favorite sayings was "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions." None of us believe in Hell, but we now believe that souls can be lost, wandering in confusion and unfinished business for a long time after death.
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Hello again A. Hugs back atcha! :)
This is just so interesting to me on a lot of different levels. First, there's the whole otherworldly experience of it...
Then, there's the meaning or possible implications of your FIL's current state of affairs, for lack of a better way of saying it. One thing I have noticed about diehard (no pun intended!) Ns is that it is difficult for them to learn to relate through insight. they are not coachable or teachable in this regard. Think of a "hotshot" basketball star who thinks his way is the best way because his run-and-gun game worked when he was 10 years old. Now in high school or college, it is hard for him to accept input from a coach because he is a self-proclaimed star and it is hard to learn a new way. Or another analogy might be Ground Hog's Day (the movie) where Bill Murray really didn't get it until he lived the same day over and over and over, wanting to die in the process, until he finally learns how to love.
I wonder if your FIL is stuck between this world and the next, still giving excuses for how he behaved and resisting insight, instead of realizing his error and asking forgiveness. Instead of learning the lesson. I guess he has a ways to go if he died in the middle of a rage. :shock: It seems like a moral tale suitable for Edgar Allan Poe or Charles Dickens.
Maybe he'll see you again and you can check on his progress? Can Ns heal in the afterlife? There's something to ponder...thank you for sharing this. MP
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I had a really strange dream this morning.
I went to my house to get some things and my dog, Behr (he died in May), was there and I was supposed to give him a kiss good-bye. Just before I left someone asked me, "Did you give Behr a kiss good-bye?" I said, "I did better than that. I took him with me."
The only thing I think this dream means is that the life I shared with Behr I have within me. It isn't gone. And that life is full of playfulness, fun, and a willingess to learn. That was how Behr was and I was with him.
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I had a very strange dream about grabbing a huge, black rat and killing it with my bare hands. Then I dismantled a bunch of spider webs.
All I can think it means is confronting and dealing with fears because I'm afraid of rats and spiders. We have big ones of both here where I live. And we had a rat infestation last year - ick. :shock:
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Had another weird ex dream. He ws skulking around trying to get back with me. I had a new bf, but he kept trying. I had to go through some elaborate security/customs clearance with him. Next thing I know I am at my old job and getting driven home on a bus. I decided it will take forever for them to get to my stop so I get out in the city across the river from my home. Then there is a long arduous journey trying to get over the bridge to my city. It starts snowing and I cant seem to dial the right numbers on the cell phone to reach my Dad whose office is on the other side of the river. Finally he calls me and says he will come pick me up or meet me on the other side of the bridge.
I guess I could interpret it myslef. Especially the part where the ex is still around and trying to get back with me. I have had dreams like the bridge dream before where I am trying to get to the other side but keep getting thwarted. Just not sure what brought these dreams up at this time.
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This isn't my dream, but the dream of a friend of mine that I found fairly amusing.
She dreamt that I was making out with her boyfriend, and she wasn't happy about it at all.
Then, the next day when she saw me, her immediate reaction was to beat me up.
...
Then she remembered it was a dream, and neither her boyfriend nor I are actually gay.
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Hi Marta,
This seems like a valid interpretation. I didnt feel anxious or afraid during the dream. I was more irritated that I couldnt get my cell phone to work, which happens in real life all the time.
I have had some similar bridge dreams. I agree about being impatient and wanting to get off the bus. I remembered exactly who was driving and thinking it would be hours until my stop. It must be about changing and going to the next phase. I have been on a journey of self growth for some time which increased in intensity this year when I joined a specific type of support group. It has flavored all my interactions, seemingly for the better. So it may be about seeing that other side and trying to get there.
I have also been super busy at work and sometimes feel I can never catch up, so that could be thrown in the mix also. Thanks for taking time to look at the dream.
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Bliz, The bridge is also symbolic...it is the only way to get to your goal...unless you want to swim in frozen water.
I used to have dreams where I was trying to call for help on the phone and I couldn't get my fingers to dial the right numbers. Those dreams were frequent in childhood.
My worst dreams are about my ex. He is always being seductive and manipulative. Often we end up having sex and I wake up feeling dirty, disgusted and frightened. I think that I feel "soiled" on some level because I was married to him for 15 years.
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Ohh, I dont like those ex dreams either. At least he is looking more pitiful and I am not pining for him and we dont have sex in the dream. Yuck!! Difficult to believe we ever loved them, isnt it?
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ok, I am reviving this thread (for lack of a better place to put this).
I am getting married soon, to my true love that I left (mid engagement) 25 years ago.
Anyway, for several weeks, recently, I had recurring dreams with a common theme:
I was marrying either one of my ex's instead of my fiance. I always get out of it at the last minute, usually with some huge powerful statement on my part...in their face kind of confrontation, me saying " I won't marry the wrong guy again!!!". In the last one I had, my daughter helped me find my fiance after I told her dad off! My fiance was carving baseball bats at the time (weird) and my daughter helped me convince him I was not leaving him again.
Anyway the dream I really wanted to share is this one: A little background: my mother, who some of you know is in a nursing home and not always coherent, does not know I am getting married again, nor does she know about my relationship with my fiance .....she doesn't know a lot from the last 3 years, really.
Anyway, I woke up Sunday morning with this dream: My mom called me on the phone (I live far away). She was her normal, younger self and she said "I understand you are getting married. Congratulations!" I had such an overwhelmingly peaceful feeling, I will never forget it. Then I woke up.
Half hour later, my brother calls (not a dream) and says: "Mom was totally coherent this morning.... so I took the opportunity to tell her about your marriage and relationship, etc...." He said my mom was a little confused at how everyone else would know but her (he explained that I had tried to tell her when I was there, but there was never a good time with her "condition") and she not only accepted it, but was extremely excited and pleased for me! The only thing she wanted assurance about was that my kids and my fiance love each other, and my brother was able to reassure her that they do!
I had accepted that my mom would most likely never know, even though it saddened me, and now she does! This is such a huge gift to me. A miracle really. I accept that she may not remember much about that conversation....but it got in there somehow....and I feel good about it.
If you are still reading> here's another one from this morning...
In this dream, I was in my son's car with my son, and both of us got phone calls on our cell phones from different people who said: "Mum, that old temple of yours that has a floor full of pot holes....well the holes filled with rainwater and now they are full of lotus blossoms." I know exactly what they are talking about, I can picture it perfectly...it's an old sacred place that was neglected and forgotton. My son got off the phone and told me his friends were there enjoying the spectacle and wanted me to know (I don't know who called me....).When I woke up, I must have said to myself, "my temple is full of lotus blossoms" about twenty times....
Real life connection: I looked online at a house back east where I want to live that is old and run down and in a beautiful neighborhood....I am considering purchasing it to fix up when I get back there....pretty neat huh????
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Oh Mum!
My fiance was carving baseball bats ...
To beat up your exs with!! ( :lol: :lol: :lol:....gave me such a good giggle).
You're right! I think the 2nd dream is a gift too!! That's wonderful! Maybe she WILL remember the conversation and the fact that you're getting married again! Who knows? At least you know she is happy about it and thinks about/feels so much for your children! She's holding onto her best parts Mum.
Re: 3rd one..........it sounds like paradise to me. Maybe it will all come true Mum! I sure hope so!
Not much of an analysis eh. I'm glad for the peaceful feelings you got......those are the best!
:D Sela
PS: my pc is on the blink and I'm posting from the library/ may not respond d/t not able to get here for awhile.
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Ok another weird one I had...last night.
I was watching this woman struggling and sweating and puffing and trying to climb this long, long flight of steep stairs. There I was, standing at the top, on the landing and looking down on her, feeling her energy being drained and seeing her getting weaker but also noting her great desire to get to the landing ..... just having such a hard, awful time of it. Finally I said:
"Hey. It's easy. Just go through that little brown door on your right!"
She stopped climbing and looked at me and then to her right. She saw and went through the little brown door there and somehow landed on the top landing right beside me.
"Thanks" she said, smiling. "I was starting to think I might never get here".
Suddenly, I realized the woman was me :shock: :shock: (I had been watching myself?? :shock: :? :shock:).
And I woke up thinking: "Ya. I just have to walk through the .....brown door....the poo coloured one....and I'll finally get to the safe and happy landing. But walking through there is sooooooooooo stinky and yucky".
Sela
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And I woke up thinking: "Ya. I just have to walk through the .....brown door....the poo coloured one....and I'll finally get to the safe and happy landing. But walking through there is sooooooooooo stinky and yucky".
Sela
Wow! Do tell! It sure is so stinky and yucky. 100% agree with you. :lol: But then you get to be safe and happy within yourself.
Me? Getting there ...
(((((((((((((((Sela))))))))))))))
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This is the dream I had this morning. I dreamt that my girlfriend took me on a long journey. We hiked through rough terrain and finally to this cliff over a huge lake. My friend jumps in the water. I watch in shock.
She says, “come on you can do it.”
I say, “I can’t jump out that far.”
She says, “then jump in right here,” pointing to a spot closer to shore.
It looks deeper than where she jumped into the water.
“It’s deeper than where I jumped,” she says.
I really don’t want to do this but I prepare myself mentally to jump and then take the plunge.
I am weak after the long hike through the mountainous region and can’t seem to get to the surface. I’m drowning in the lake and watch my girlfriend watch me struggling to get my head up. I’m flailing my arms over my head, waving at her to help me, but she just watches me from the shore.
Then I find myself on the shore, on my back, with my friend standing over me. I get really angry with her for letting me drown and just watching me.
She says, “that’s not what happened. I’ve been trying to resuscitate you for the past half hour. You’ve been on the shore. I pulled you out of the water when you started flailing your arms in the air.”
I’m shocked because I remember things differently yet I don’t understand why. I do remember hearing a voice that kept saying, ‘let yourself go down to the bottom and push yourself off.’ My reply to that voice was, ‘I don’t have the energy to do it.“
My girlfriend pulls me up to stand and then asks if I am okay to continue our journey. I nod my head, still confused about what really happened.
We continue our journey through this mountainous region and I then I discover where we are. There was a shortcut and this girlfriend took the long way around.
I ask her about that and she said, ”I thought you would like to see the scenery.“
I said, ”and almost drown?“
She didn’t answer me.
I said, ”I know you feel guilty about that. So just say so.“
She says, ”okay I do. But it’s finished. Done. You survived didn’t you?“
”Yes,“ I said.
”Then just remember the journey,“ said my girlfriend.
We get back to town and find a place to get something to eat. There’s a strange drink we have. I know the name of it and what’s in it. My girlfriend does not.
Finally we end our long journey at her home. We’re sitting on her bed talking about her sister who died.
I ask, ”do you miss her?“
She says, ”yeah. I’ll always miss her. My family doesn’t ever talk about her. It’s like they don’t want acknowledge that she is dead. But she is. She’ll never return. I keep the room as a memorial to her. I’ve left all her belongings just like they were the day she died.“
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Thanks for the hug Sally. Much appreciated.
Your dreams sounds so vivid. There is a lot that I would think is very symbolic but I don't know you well enough to really guess at what each symbol might represent. One thing sort of hit me.....in this dream you are struggling and tired and running out of energy and your friend "saves" you (but also added to your discomfort by taking you the long way and coaxing you to jump into the water...virually causing you increased energy loss and near death). But you are the one who seems the strongest, after all, and able to survive even though the call was close. You're up and ready to proceed almost immediately after nearly drowning and willing to continue following your friend.
In the end...it is you who exposes your friend's weaknesses......trickery and lack of emotional outlet (if that can be called a weakness?? :?). You are the one who exposes the truth/reality of what's happened/happening.
((((((((((((((((Sally))))))))))))))))))
Sela
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Well this one was vivid and weird:
I dreamt there was a massive crowd of people and somehow they had gathered together because there was going to be some huge catastrophy......almost as if the world was going to end. Everyone was lined up in long, long lines and it seemed impossible to survive by getting in the back of the line.....like an opportunity would be missed.
This fellow came along and grabbed my hand and said: "Follow me" and began pushing his way toward the front of the very first line, dragging me behind. Eventually we arrived at the head of the line and he told me to "Wait here" , then disappeared into the crowd. There was some kind of structure with big doors ......a large, dark building that somehow didn't have edges.....or an outline.....a beginning or end......in front of the line ups. It was frightening and seemed like a bad place.
One woman told me: "Soon they'll bring out the boxes with the pills.....be sure to grab one and take the pill right away!!"
I was quite surprised that no one was upset with me for butting infront.......and wondering what kind of pills could possibly save me from this great end?? The crowd was loud and I felt very anxious......my skin was crawling......I just wanted to go home.
Suddenly......the door of the structure opened and these small boxes were pitched high into the air......broadcasted over the crowd. I ran to the left of the structure and caught a box just before it hit the ground. I opened the box and took the dark coloured pill inside.....looked it over.....then popped it in my mouth and swallowed it. It felt like one of those pop rocks (those candies that fizz) going down my throat!! Strange!! :shock:
Next I heard my husband calling my name.....he sounded in a panic. I scanned the crowd and saw him trying to get closer to me. I worked my way in his direction and soon we met up. He wrapped his arms around me and just about cried: "I was soooo worried about you!! I couldn't find you!! I'm sooo glad you're ok!!". He pulled two of the boxes out of his pocket and I suddenly felt huge pangs of guilt because I had only grabbed one box.....I hadn't thought of him!! :oops: :oops: I told him this and that I had already taken a pill and he said: "Don't worry. I was hoping you'd get a box but I grabbed two just in case. We can give this one to someone who didn't get one". He opened his box and took his pill. He looked like he was going to faint as it fizzed down his throat and he said: "They're not nice but these pills are supposed to save us".
Next......people started keeling over around us. We both said we felt ill and we realized these pills were a trick!! They weren't meant to save anyone......they were poison!! We both cried!!! But then.......the fellow who led me to the front of the line came to us and gave us two cups and said: "Here. Drink these and you'll be fine". We drank the foul tasting fluid down and felt better after. We smiled when we both no longer felt ill.
Then......I woke up.
:shock: :?
Sela
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Wow! Who was the man?
Hey, we’re not all dead and you two aren’t alone. But it might feel like it?
I dunno Sela. Pills versus real understanding and therefore growth? Is anyone around you taking pills or ‘fake therapy’??
Otherwise wow! What a dream! How did you feel at the end?
Oh PS. I dreamed I had a baby boy about 6 months old. He need a poo and I held him over a waste bin (this was in public somewhere) while he did it, complete with happy gurgling farts and so on. He’s quite happy, I’m happy then whoops! I accidentally drop him in the bin!! I frantically get him out and he’s fine. And we go on our way together.
Wish fulfilment / grieving maybe. It felt pretty light-hearted though. And happy.
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Hiya P:
Don't have a clue who the man was. All I can say is that he was 30ish, dark, short hair, busy, busy, busy......it seemed.........running around helping people. Why he picked me/us???? I have no clue. :?
Hey, we’re not all dead and you two aren’t alone. But it might feel like it?
I, personally, am feeling really, really tired lately. No energy. Quite dead compared to my norm. I think I need to get back to taking vitamins again. Got me thinking though......thanks P.
Pills versus real understanding and therefore growth? Is anyone around you taking pills or ‘fake therapy’??
Nope. No one's taking anything real or fake.
How did you feel at the end?
Well......I have to say I felt the same way I usually do after having one of these weirdo dreams.......I felt confused, almost shook up.....certainly a bit silly......
And now......after a day .......and thinking about it some more.......
....the pills were thought to be life saving (that group mentality thingy again P).......but were really poison (the great deception).
........everyone was taking them but not everyone was lucky enough to meet up with that "fellow"
...........so I and my husband are quite lucky....in that dream....we make it through without being poisoned.
.....all because of some stranger.....and because we trusted a stranger...and took what he offered to us and ingested it. Similar stuff happened in real life...so I guess the dream is a bit of a replay???......or reminder???
Or just my brain cells acting up again!! :lol:
Re your dream P:
Baby boy? Could he be a part of you? or you in a safer form?? or your potential?
Taking a big happy dump in a public garbage can? Getting rid of stuff he doesn't need ...his waste..if he is part of you then maybe.....clensing hurtful stuff....ridding the poo from your life, mind, heart??
And you happily watch it going into the bin......and maybe that part of you slips in but you rescue it, soon enough......and feel happy again!!
Sounds like a healing dream, maybe?
:D Sela