Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: write on June 06, 2005, 01:14:02 AM
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told Dad he'll have to pay his own bills in future!
Told a friend who described me as ' a burden' that I will no longer be visiting with her.
It's probably not much to anyone else, but it's a huge step forward for me.
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Way to go, Write. Standing up for yourself is huge. How does it feel?
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like the sky will fall in!
But if I keep doing it it'll become second nature I hope.
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It's probably not much to anyone else, but it's a huge step forward for me
You made me remember the first time I stood up to someone ... It was exhilarating! Of course, there was some flak to deal with but the flak was nothing compared to the sense of power I felt I had regained in making me healthy. Way to go!
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Write: AWESOME! Oh, yeah, I get it: it is HUGE!!
I think a lot of us get that! Good for you!!!!
Setting and keeping our OWN boundaries is the most compassionate thing we can do for OTHERS. I wasn't sure I got that at first, but think about it. You are letting them own their pain, and their healing (if they so choose). Again, terrific!!
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write, good job on excercising your personal power and choice! I get an image of you saying these things and the other people just standing there with their mouths wide open in shock. :) Maybe you can treat this like an experiment and see if the sky falls in or other bad things happen or whether you feel better in the long run?
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Sheesh, that was me again. :oops: :oops: :oops: Having trouble stayin logged in today. :)
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I was dreading whatever fallout there would be, and there isn't any so far. Both parties have been reasonable and polite in response. But I'd decided if they weren't- it doesn't matter, I needed to do what's best for me. However it is harder for people to be unreasonable if you assertively explain what you're going to do- I'd fotgotten that.
I sure have lost my way this past few years, but hopefully I'm finding it again!
Thanks everyone. I love it when I have something positive to report!
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Hooray Write!! These are big things because they remove some big nasty potential future stresses from your life!
told Dad he'll have to pay his own bills in future!
Dad's a big boy and can do this for himself. His job is to be a dad to you. Is he doing a great job? I bet not.
Removing this stress from your life, of being responsible/doing his stuff....is a big, big step toward looking after yourself and shifting the responsibility where it belongs. Way to go Write!!!
Told a friend who described me as ' a burden' that I will no longer be visiting with her.
What kind of "friend" would say this? No friend at all, if you ask me. Friendship involves empathy and compassion, which is in total absence here. This "friend" is probably more of a stress than a help??? This "friend" probably finds time for you when the "friend" neeeeeeds something or has the time? I bet, otherwise, you don't hear from this "friend"? If this "friend" responds like this, when you need something back, I say....good riddence!! Good for you, Write! There are plenty of loving, kind people in the world. You don't need friends like this.
This is a big, big step in looking after you.....and there will be stress relief from not visiting with her.
((((((((((Write))))))))))
GFN