Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: bunny as guest on June 07, 2005, 03:11:48 PM
-
Hello,
I'm a creature of habit. My life is very routine and non-dramatic. I am also a person who rarely if ever rehashes the past. My memory is almost that of an amnesiac. I don't keep up with old friends, I'm horrible at even remembering people's names.
So here is what happened. In mid-May I got an email forwarded by my brother. Someone from 1976 was looking for me and found my brother (who has my original name). I did not remember who the person was, they only ID'd themselves by first name. I emailed him, asked him who he was. He was my bf from the end of high school, and he was very hurt/bitter that I didn't immediately know who he was. I was taken aback by his bitterness and just said I was sorry. Did not hear from him again.
FF to this past weekend. I get another bitter email from the guy, which was very sad and poignant at the same time. I wrote him an apology for the way I treated him in 1976 (I really was mean to him but I was only 19). He replied that it was very nice of me and that his life was now all messed up, just like in 1976. But that he wouldn't talk about it and I should join the other passengers leaving the sinking ship. Needless to say, this triggered all of my rescue/codep stuff and I was DYING to know what his situation was.
I just replied, I am willing to listen whenever he is ready, and didn't hear from him again. This killed me. I wanted to save him. I also started regressing, listening to 1970's music, and felt like a teenager. I had major compulsions to email this dude. And I did. I HATE MYSELF. I didn't write anything that bad, just said I would like to know what led him to look me up after 30 years. I hate being curious and needing to know stuff about people. I'm such a voyeur. Not only that, but this guy is obviously a loser. I knew that in 1976! I should be shrugging my shoulders and saying, "Whatever." Instead I'm falling apart.
I am crying now. Someone help me, but do not give advice please. I can't handle it.
bunny
-
I am crying now. Someone help me, but do not give advice please. I can't handle it.
bunny
(((((Hugs))))))
It sounds to me as if this person, whoever he is, just wants to play; 'I'm ok you're not ok' with you. If he was a decent person, he would have met your genuine compassion and interest half way. He hasn't, because that would be admitting that you are genuine and compassionate - which is true imo. But you can't rescue people who are determined to be angry with you for not recuing them. :(
I am sorry this has happened to you, Bunny, probably not for the first time or it would not be having such an impact. I haven't any advice to offer, really, so you needn't worry about getting any. Only maybe pathetic stuff, like, look after yourself. :?
I am interested in why you have made such a determined effort to forget the past, though. What is so important for you to forget so thoroughly? Rhetorical question only - no answer required. :?
-
Gosh bunny,
I think you're being way too hard on yourself.
Its natural to want to know whats going on with the guy.
If you've got codependent issues then you definitely need to keep your boundaries in place, but there is surely no need to say you hate yourself just because you have the fairly rare virtue of human compassion.
If it helps to have a good cry go ahead, but I think you were just being sweet and considerate.
Now, listening to seventies music is a little harder to excuse. :wink: :roll: :P
mudpup
-
Ok Bunny you're ok.
Anyone would be curious....are you kidding? Ofcourse anyone would!!
You probably had some emotional connection to the guy, at least at first, young love, whatever, and that might also be simmering somewhere beneath the surface....making you wonder if he might have changed? Might not be the loser he was back then? Or maybe deep down you just wanted to offer the guy a bit of peace.....maybe help him move on.
Anyway......you haven't died or fallen off a cliff. All you did was email.
No biggie right?
I HATE MYSELF.
No, you don't like what you did. You're a good person, a curious person, a person who is very level headed. You don't really believe this about yourself.
You are also brave and kind to appologize to him for your past behaviour. Maybe you senced he needed to hear that?
I didn't write anything that bad, just said I would like to know what led him to look me up after 30 years.
So when he answers, you'll have your curiosity satisfied.
I hate being curious and needing to know stuff about people. I'm such a voyeur.
Oh come on.....Bunny! You look deeper than the surface to help. Your curiosity is a gift.
Not only that, but this guy is obviously a loser. I knew that in 1976!
And the good news is......you're not married to him! Horray!! You can talk to him on the net a little without having to launder his socks! You have not committed any crime that I know of.
I should be shrugging my shoulders and saying, "Whatever." Instead I'm falling apart.
Expect yourself to be perfect? To always react perfectly? Never do anything you regret? Pulllllllllllleeeeeeeeeezze......here's a hug:
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bunny))))))))))))))))))))))))))
NO worries. You haven't hurt a single soul. You're beating yourself waaay too much up! People have done much, much,much
stupidier things.
Take me for a prime example!!! :D
Come one Bunny.....here's another hug:
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bunny)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
GFN
-
I too am insatiably curious. I try and look for the good things about that! Don't beat yourself up over it - just know that other people would have done the same thing. I know I would. I always do. then I beat myself up over it just like you are, but maybe we shouldn't. You know from my previous posts how hard I have fought to get away from my ex bf. He messged me the other day and said that the medication was working and he was sorry for everything. I had spent months ignoring him and not returning his calls - detach detach detach, but with one mesage I had to know what was wrong with him so I messaged back to ask. Now that really was screwy. And it meant I had to put up with him talking about his so called mental illness. So please don't hate yourself, just accept that you are human.
((((bunny))))
-
Bunny,
That is quite a compliment for him to look you up after all these years. If he is meant to get in contact with you, he will manage. Some dialog and the ability to assist someone from your past may be good. Maybe he needs some closure;and, when he sees that you are not the same person you were, he may be able to let go of any ill feelings he may be harboring. Forgiveness can definately set you free. You may be in a position to set him free. Good luck.
-
bunny,
it might have had to do something
with that karmic saturn
that takes 28-30 years for a full trip
thru the zodiac
next time check with your inner self
and if that isnt handy
someone who might get u in touch with said..
say a good astrologer :)
-
or ....
check for feedback
at ze forum :)
-
Bunny, please give yourself a break. Anybody would be dying to know what happened with this guy. That doesn't mean you're signing up to nurse him through cancer, post bail, raise his kids, or straighten out his life in any other way. I'm sure you're smart enough and strong enough to avoid any level of entanglement that is unhealthy or inappropriate.
Heck, I don't know any of the principals, and I'm dying to know what the deal is.
As far as "regression" goes, I did exactly the same thing not that long ago. Old boyfriend surfaces out of nowhere, we have a deep, meaningful conversation, and suddenly I'm inseparable from my copy of "Stop Making Sense." (Of course, I had to find it first.) And I'm sighing meaningful sighs and wondering whether I made the right choice in marrying my husband (which of course I did, as soon as I can say he's absolutely, unequivocally stopped leaving the seat up).
And always remember: People who mind their own business die of boredom at thirty. (Can't remember who said or wrote it.)
best,
daylily
-
bunny...
i add another vote towards
being easier on yourself :)
-
Thanks everyone. You really helped me!! There was a reply from him, he said he was just going into his past for some catharsis and it didn't work. There was also more sarcasm and bitterness. I finally "got" that I'm not going to find out what's going on with him, and this is just how he operates. Of course I was compelled to reply (yeah right) but I kept it light. Hopefully this is just some wierd incident that I will get over. It sure triggered a lot of old stuff about my teenage years. I am so glad I could tell you guys and get hugs and replies and similar things that happened to you (thanks daylily). I was really having a meltdown but now I'm calmer.
bunny
-
BUNNY
IFN U DONT THINK IT COULD BE USED TO LURE U IN
..MAYBE SUGGEST SOME SITES
THAT MIGHT SPEAK TO HIS ISSUES IN A WAY
WHERE HE MIGHT GAIN HELPFUL INSIGHT
BUT WHATEVER U DO DONT
REFER HIM TO THIS FORUM...
JUST KIDDIN :)
-
Bunny,
Wow, offering you a helping hand is out of character. You're always the one who can get the root of the problem and offer profound answers.
But I will echo what everyone else has said. Don't be so hard on yourself as you were trying to be compassionate and kind to someone you had cared about at one time. To have a curiosity about what was causing this need to contact you is very natural and most of us would have reacted the same way. As GFN said, you didn't marry the guy, just sent an e-mail or two. No harm, no foul. If its the biggest mistake you make this year, you are a very lucky lady.
(((((((bunny))))))))))
Brigid
-
Hey Bunny:
Glad to hear you're feeling better. Ya. Melt down. Tell me about it.
I call it panic-guilt. It happens. Then....the voice of reason kicks in and everything seems ok again.
Is this normal? What the heck is normal anyhow?
All I know is I've been there and so have other people. Even those who seem pretty normal to me.
It's almost like a combination of strange voices and confusing circumstances......having it out...twisting around together in a big mud puddle (sorry to mention mud, mud. No reference whatsoever to you eh!).
Here's how it kinda went for me:
I felt like I did the wrong thing......panic kicks in......I worry.....I fear......maybe I did the wrong thing?......more worry, panic, fear.......yes.....I'm sure I did the wrong thing!! Anger. How could I!!!???
I know better!!! Or I should know better!!! I'm this or that or any number of derogatory things!! Biggest one.....STUPID!!! Make myself pay for such a dumb thing!! Pay big!!!
On and on for awhile. Almost 'til I wear myself silly.
Then......a wee voice....."wait a minute".
And usually something reasonably sane drifts in after that.
Maybe I call someone. Maybe I write it all down and re-examine it?
Maybe I just go for a walk and re-think.
Is it because we were always told how bad we were?
How stupid/useless/endless list of nasty names?
How we should have known better?
Shamed BIG TIME for every simple mistake!
were you???
I vowed never to say such things to my kids.
So far I haven't.
Good for me.
Good for me.
Good for you Bunny for reaching out and not suffering alone.
That takes sanity and is a normal thing to do.
It's not part of the crazy way to deal with stuff. Only the crazy, nasty voices of the past can flatten reason like that.
I'm glad the meltdown's over. I'm glad you posted. I'm glad the hugs helped. :D
GFN
-
Hi Bunny,
here is my reponse. it is partly tongue in cheek, so I hope I'm not offending if you're very sensitive right now. I am just trying to cheer you up. Thank you for all your wonderful nurturing you have given me lately.
"I am also a person who rarely if ever rehashes the past. My memory is almost that of an amnesiac. I don't keep up with old friends, I'm horrible at even remembering people's names."
Me too! Remember this guy is suffering from something. We don't know what. So if his feelings were hurt because after million years you did not remember his first name (unless it was Lucifer or something, how could you?) that is his issue. Or rather, his opportunity to get you hooked in. You WRONGED him by not knowing his name? Oh puleeze. It was certainly in your best interest to forget it, looks like.
"I get another bitter email from the guy, which was very sad and poignant at the same time. I wrote him an apology for the way I treated him in 1976 (I really was mean to him but I was only 19). He replied that it was very nice of me and that his life was now all messed up, just like in 1976. But that he wouldn't talk about it and I should join the other passengers leaving the sinking ship. Needless to say, this triggered all of my rescue/codep stuff and I was DYING to know what his situation was."
Hmmmm......it almost sounds like a 30 year old, long ago ended, young teen relationship is to blame for everything that has taken place since then in his life?????? He must have had to dig deep to find you to blame it all on! Wasn't there anyone else or anything in that 30 years to fault for his current situation but you? Man! You must have been SOME 19 year old! PS I hate poignant things. Remember "Love Story"?
"I just replied, I am willing to listen whenever he is ready, and didn't hear from him again. This killed me. I wanted to save him."
Ah! After all that time he can still press those buttons. I guess none of us can really change the location of our hot buttons, can we?
"I also started regressing, listening to 1970's music, and felt like a teenager. I had major compulsions to email this dude. And I did. I HATE MYSELF."
I would too. I mean actually EMAILING the guy and offering help! What kind of monster are you! :) Crank up the Abba and email us instead!
I didn't write anything that bad, just said I would like to know what led him to look me up after 30 years. I hate being curious and needing to know stuff about people. I'm such a voyeur. Not only that, but this guy is obviously a loser. I knew that in 1976! I should be shrugging my shoulders and saying, "Whatever." Instead I'm falling apart.
Maybe it could be looked at as a good thing, obviously this guy touched on some part of you that is not healed yet. I know that it is easy to say and just about impossible to do, but try to regard it as an opportunity for more work. PS Curiousity is a good thing, and nosiness is normal.
I am crying now. Someone help me, but do not give advice please. I can't handle it.
My advice is, get a tissue but DAB! Don't wipe. Wiping causes swelling around the sensitive eye tissues.
With affection and humor,
Guest2
-
Hi bunny, sorry to hear that you had such an eventful day or two. :( You sounded better in your last post, though. Panic attacks are not fun at all. :evil: Now *I'm* curious to know what you had such a strong reaction to from this situation. I couldn't even guess. I hope you feel better and realize that there was no harm, no foul. Nobody got hurt (despite his immature feelings).
(((((((bunny)))))))
-
wow, step away from home a few hours and I miss everything!! Bunny, you really are amazing. Just when I think you might be perfect.....(just kidding). It's funny what gets to us. I'm not sure why you think your curiosity or tendency to want to help/save is a problem...unless, like me, your best features can be your worst at times. :roll:
Glad you are feeling better.
On the voyeristic side of things, I googled and old bf and found LOADS on the guy! Yup....he's got the world by the tail AND people can't stand him (had as many negative articles/editorials about him as what he's up to!!). Glad I missed that Nadventure!!!!
You are a nice person, that's all. Something triggered you. Spend time figuring it out if you want to, or don't..... probably nothing too strange, really.
-
Hiya Bunny, I just picked myself up off the floor, my reaction. No advice - okay. I wonder what kind of advice you might imagine? Critical advice? “Get a grip” advice? My curiosity factor goes off the scale. I’ll try and control myself.
What advice would you have given yourself on post one? I like that idea. (Is this advice?)
Meltdown. Did anyone in your life notice? Did you show signs to those around you? Meltdown for me would be crying a lot, staying off work, probably a bit of violence (chucking stuff maybe), maybe some fast driving…oh dear.
Or maybe a quiet meltdown, staying in bed until 6pm for a few days, not being able to see the point in washing or eating, watching drivel on tv. Staring at the table, not thinking.
No advice. No gush. But can I say just one eensy weensy little thing? Please?
Bunny: suddenly you’re REAL to me, suddenly you’re HUMAN and I really, really, really, really like it. I like this Bunny! Why?
I was scared of Bunny before. All the time scared of you. I’m still a little scared but I can work on that. Now I can respect you instead. Fear precludes respect.
Damn. Like my step-dad.
Whoah let’s leave that to one side for a momento and do some more. Quick, divert.
GFN said:
making you wonder if he might have changed? Might not be the loser he was back then?
I say: loser! I should join the other passengers leaving the sinking ship.
'Okay, see ya!' I know I know, if it was me, I’d be on the phone, I’d be in there with a blunt, tactless scalpel, trying to help. It’s too easy to see clearly when it’s not happening to you; it’s way too difficult when it is you in the picture.
He replied that it was very nice of me and that his life was now all messed up, just like in 1976. But that he wouldn't talk about it and I should join the other passengers leaving the sinking ship. Needless to say, this triggered all of my rescue/codep stuff and I was DYING to know what his situation was.
This isn’t advice okay? I’m still scared enough not to offer you something you say you don’t want. This is one of my alternative opinions on what you’ve written above. I don’t think it’s rescue/codep stuff. Yeah and I’m a qualified psycho-(haha fill in your own ending!). I think you’re dying to know about you, not about him. That’s my killer sentence! I think you’ll hate it, dismiss it.
And someone like that from your past, that’s maybe a good way of finding out about yourself. I have made one feeble effort to contact a bloke from 20 years ago who will possibly let me find out something about myself, but I’m chicken about doing it. I need to find him. I need to know what I was like then. I need to say ‘sorry’. But most of all, I think it will help me make sense of where I’ve been since, for 20 years. And it scares me. I treated him badly and vice-versa but I guess, maybe, I want to confront who I was, if that makes sense. That’s me. Nothing to do with you and this loser from 29 years ago.
Daylily - Stop making sense – Talking Heads? Excellent!
For me, Joy Division - Love will tear us apart
-
That last post was truly difficult for me to write. I don't know if it shows, so I'm saying it. Now I have to exit, fast. Bye for now.
-
Hi all:
Ever go back, read one of your posts, and think:
"I wish I'd worded that differently" ??
Here's me, correcting my own post, after the fact, too late but what the heck eh?
I wrote:
No, you don't like what you did............. You don't really believe this about yourself.
I have no idea what you don't like or what you believe. This, according to Patricia Evans, is backward speaking....attempting a backward connection. Sorry Bunny. I wasn't paying enough attention to my words and only caught this now.
Wish I'd written:
"No, Bunny. Please don't think that. Maybe you don't like what you did?......... You don't really believe this about yourself, do you?"
That seems a little better, a little less defining. My intention was to help you stop this train of thinking, if possible because these thoughts make us feel worse.
(By the way....the rest of the stuff, the stuff where the little dots are, still stands, imo).
Thinking of you and hoping you're feeling much better today Bunny.
GFN
-
Brave post, Portia. I get it.
-
I didn't write anything that bad, just said I would like to know what led him to look me up after 30 years. I hate being curious and needing to know stuff about people. I'm such a voyeur. Not only that, but this guy is obviously a loser. I knew that in 1976! I should be shrugging my shoulders and saying, "Whatever." Instead I'm falling apart.
I think anyone would be curious as to why they were being looked up so many years after the event. I did many crazy things when I was younger ( esp before I realised I was bipolar ) and all I can say now is- they happened, they made me who I am. Where I could I've made amends, but sometimes you can't. We have to let it go sometime.
And he is being a little weak if he is blaming a teen romance of thirty years ago on his situation now.
I'd probably have replied too and asked ( or answered ) some questions, but I think you're right to try & keep it light. You're not responsible for him. Even if you felt you owed him an apology or explanation- it doesn't have to lead to a deeper relationship.
He's doing what we all do from time to time- trying to go back to change the present. But that's not possible. He can only go forward or wallow in this some more. But it's not your fault or your problem.
This caretaking stuff takes time to unlearn, to unprogramme that mode. You seem really self-aware to me. I know it's frustrating, hang in there.
Take care of yourself, don't beat yourself up over the past. Over anything really. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
((bunny))
I'm sorry that this blast from the past is causing you so much distress.
While you are getting down to the seventies music try to focus on the good memories from your youth. As your moving to the grove...shake off all the negative energy you are feeling right now.
Corny? Yeah, I can be. :roll:
best wishes
Mia
-
bunny,
seems like a bit of that
having been programmed
to take on guilt thing
that narcissists are so adept at
conditioning others so...
whilst the narcissist readily is not guilty
or supposedly admits to it
and apologizes and dumps the being forgiven
onto the other
hard to kick that conditioning huh
especially trying to be careful
not to throw out the baby with the bath water :)
goin overboard in over reaction to quiveringness
coming from past narcissistic onslaughts
-
I'm not sure why you think your curiosity or tendency to want to help/save is a problem...unless, like me, your best features can be your worst at times. :roll:
Glad you are feeling better.
My ex used to use what ought to be complimentary comments about me, and twist them with nasty intonation and sneering into criticisms. I suspect that many abusive people do this. They can't cope with meeting genuinely, really nice people. We have to be the bad ones, or insincere, or hypocritical, or else they lose their perfect status.
The result can be that we hear their nasty sneering voices in our ears, calling us; 'Little Miss Perfect' or similar every time we genuinely try to be helpful or considerate to others. In the end we learn to doubt ourselves, and lose the ability to be objective about our own good qualities. :(
-
Think on This ...
. . to meet the disturbing factors with as much joyousness as if they were bringing pleasure in the material sight, will alter . . . much in the heart and mind of the seeker. For that which is is a result of the thinking of individuals as related one to another.
Edgar Cayce Reading 610-1
-
And someone like that from your past, that’s maybe a good way of finding out about yourself. I have made one feeble effort to contact a bloke from 20 years ago who will possibly let me find out something about myself, but I’m chicken about doing it. I need to find him. I need to know what I was like then. I need to say ‘sorry’. But most of all, I think it will help me make sense of where I’ve been since, for 20 years. And it scares me. I treated him badly and vice-versa but I guess, maybe, I want to confront who I was, if that makes sense. That’s me. Nothing to do with you and this loser from 29 years ago.
Ok. Confession time. Last year I emailed a man I knew 20 years ago, when we were both students at University. We both liked one another, but somehow it never happened. He went his way, I went mine.
We managed about 2 emails each, before he went very strange on me. He said he had divorced, but was happy with a new relationship, and I said how pleased I was. I said could he send some pictures some time, and I would send some of me and my daughter. At this point he got very prickly, and said, I am not sending you pictures of my girlfriend. I am blushing as I write this. The way he wrote it made me feel like a voyeur of some kind, like a stalker in his life. :oops: :oops: :oops: I just meant innocent pictures, and it was his choice. But not even just not sending them, but making me feel bad about asking. :oops: :oops:
So I wrote him an email to explain why. I told him about an incident many years ago (31 October 1981 - he wrote me a poem with the date on. Long thrown out now. :) ), when he visited my flat in a drunken state. He had had a row with his girlfriend, mainly because he was still in love with an old flame. During the evening he had asked me to marry him, and I had declined to answer, because he was drunk (although I did love him :oops: ). We had then gone for a walk in the dark, and he had passed out, and I had to get the police to bring him home. They wanted to put him in the cells, but I talked them into letting me have him at my flat, where I looked after him all night. In the morning he had forgotten the conversation of the night before, and I was too honourable or whatever the word is to remind him of it. So he went back to his girlfriend. Later he married her and I sent them a wedding present.
So, all those years later, out of curiosity, and thinking perhaps now we can be civil to one another, I got in touch. However, it took no time at all before, as I said, he suspected me of something weird which is not in me, but in him. I told him the whole truth of that night many years ago, and explained that is the reason why I have never forgotten him, and always wished him well. He replied, but I was sensible enough to delete without reading. If it was nice, I didn't want to know. If not, well, best not read it. And knowing what he was then, and seeing how he had reacted now, I did not expect a nice reply.
So we all find these ghosts from time to time. I was too ashamed to admit being the other person in Bunny's story before. But I was. :oops: :oops:
Mea culpa.
-
Think on This ...
. . to meet the disturbing factors with as much joyousness as if they were bringing pleasure in the material sight, will alter . . . much in the heart and mind of the seeker.
This might be ok when dealing with humans, but not Ns. With Ns I think a nice dose of honesty is preferable. I am not about to feel joyful when confronted with bare faced lies calculated to destroy my spirit. :)
-
(((((October))))) I'm sighing heavily after reading your story, you are so courageous to post it and deleting that email from him? I think that was brave too. I'd find that very difficult. Well, I just want to say, thank you for posting. It's helping me too, and my 20 years...I'm still thinking it through, which isn't feeling it through, but it takes time I guess..
Serious stuff being talked about, I value that so much, and with great honesty too. I'm in danger of getting slushy. Or maybe that's the glass of red? Nope. Not this time.
Hey October, I called your cousin miss perfect, but let's be truthful, it sometimes applies eh? It did to her, infuriating woman. I can't believe anyone would say that to you though. You're more real than she'll ever be.
Signing off for the evening, bye for now all.
-
well in another thread
i had put...
b angry and sin not
Guest
Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 4:21 pm Post subject:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
methinks
there be such a thing as righteous anger
and it relates to
be slow to anger
and
be angry and sin not
and to this too
Think on This ...
. . to meet the disturbing factors with as much joyousness as if they were bringing pleasure in the material sight, will alter . . . much in the heart and mind of the seeker. For that which is is a result of the thinking of individuals as related one to another.
Edgar Cayce Reading 610-1
END OF THAT PASTE QUOTE FROM ME IN ANOTHER THREAD
NOW NOW OCTOBER MAKING N OUT TO BE INHUMAN
AND IN A WAY THEY HAVE WON MAYBE
PASTING FROM YOUR POST
This might be ok when dealing with humans, but not Ns. With Ns I think a nice dose of honesty is preferable. I am not about to feel joyful when confronted with bare faced lies calculated to destroy my spirit.
PERHAPS THIS MIGHT FIT IN
EDGAR CAYCE A PSYCHIC SAID
JESUS AFTER DULY PREPARING HIMSELF IN DEEP PRAYER
AND MEDITAION
AFTER HE WAS SCOURGED AND
WAS THEN CARRYING HIS CROSS
THO IN GREAT PAIN HE WOULD SMILE
TO SOME TO BRING THEM COMFORT
SO PERHAPS AFTER CHASING OUT THE MONEY CHANGERS
..ONE SHOULD NOT OVER INDULGE
IN THE SENSE OF RELEASE BUT STILL
AS ONE OF THE DISCIPLES SAID
QUOTING FROM ISAIAH
ZEAL FOR MY FATHER'S HOUSE SHALL CONSUME ME...
BUT ON THE Q
IS THAT THE EXPRESSION
IN SOME WAYS I THINK CAYCE
DOES NOT EXPLAIN AS MUCH AS PERHAPS HE SHOULD
ABOUT RIGHTEOUS ANGER
AND LUKE 17:3
IF YOUR BROTHER SINS AGAINST YOU, REBUKE HIM
AND WHEN HE REPENTS FORGIVE HIM..
now does this mean tricky possible sociopathic
apologies that seem to be to set the person
up unfairly for future abuse..
ah to have the wisdom and discernment of the holy spirit
that teaches all things :)
-
Thanks again, you guys! You have made me feel soo much better. Portia, I'm glad I'm finally a human to you. Thanks for admitting how scared you were. You aren't the only one scared of me. I seem to have that effect. Anyway I'm glad I'm more real now.
October, I have fantasized many times about contacting old flames but was too scared to do it. Otherwise I would have. I don't mind that this guy contacted me, it was more how angry he was. I felt incredibly guilty like I had destroyed his life. (codeee....)
He has now said what happened to him since 1976. It was horrible, nothing but tragedy and people dying, and he has some major health problem (didn't say what it was). So I am a bit overwhelmed that I pushed for knowing this (duuhhhh). I'm going to try to be his friend if it's possible. Even that might be over my head!
Thanks everyone for being so supportive and telling me not to beat myself up.
{{{{ you guys }}}}
bunny
-
Bunny, sorry I'm coming in so late on this thread, I was dealing with a buncha messes and couldn't get to the board.
But I wanted to thank you for sharing your emotions with us. Crazy sounding of me to say that, maybe, based on my sharing my own a little too much, a lot of the time... but it means a lot that you would trust us and open up to us the way you have.
I hope you are able to be friends with this fellow - his life sounds a bit like mine in terms of everyone dying - so he may be bitter, but it may also be temporary.
Sorry I wasn't here earlier when I could have been of more use, but I am really glad to see you feeling better about this. Go bunny!
((((((((((bunny))))))))))
-
I'm going to try to be his friend if it's possible. Even that might be over my head!
well, you can but try, and you know all the signs now if it's getting unhealthy or damaging to yourself, and you can choose where to draw your boundaries.
I think it shows what a decent compassionate person you are to try.
Good luck (((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
now does this mean tricky possible sociopathic
apologies that seem to be to set the person
up unfairly for future abuse..
ah to have the wisdom and discernment of the holy spirit
that teaches all things :)
I'm sorry. I do not understand what you are saying, and therefore can make no meaningful (or otherwise) comment about it.
Cf thread about Language.