Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Chicken on October 06, 2005, 08:18:35 PM

Title: Self destruction
Post by: Chicken on October 06, 2005, 08:18:35 PM: Does anyone have any information on why self destructive behaviour comes about?
Why do we do it? Where does it come from?
Can anyone hazard a guess?
Title: Re: Self destruction
Post by: Plucky on October 06, 2005, 08:22:22 PM: Hi Selkie (how are you!)
at the risk of being simplistic, I would say that we learn what we are exposed to. So if we are exposed to people whose behavior destroys us, or part of us, maybe an essential part like the ability to reject hurtful behavior, that is what we continue once we are on our own.
Our challenge, should we choose to accept it (and we have chosen to. just look at us up here onthe board) is to remodel behavior that will be helpful and nurturing to ourselves, and learn to reject destructive treatment by others.
Plucky
Plucky
Title: Re: Self destruction
Post by: David P on October 06, 2005, 08:24:36 PM: What kind of behavior in particular? There are so many self destructive behaviors that it is tough to point to one cause. Then there are self-defeating behaviors. More info please.

DP.
Title: Re: Self destruction
Post by: mum on October 07, 2005, 01:34:39 AM: Because we choose it, but are unaware of what we are doing.
I'm with Plucky on what we see modeled is what we tend to emulate. Many times we need to make a new mold...
Title: Re: Self destruction
Post by: Chicken on October 07, 2005, 05:59:34 AM: Quote from: David P on October 06, 2005, 08:24:36 PM
What kind of behavior in particular? There are so many self destructive behaviors that it is tough to point to one cause. Then there are self-defeating behaviors. More info please.

DP.

Thanks guys and Hi to Plucky and all who I haven't chatted to in a while! I am doing very well thank you.
Davidp, I was meaning in a kind of general way. Do self destructive patterns not all come from the same place anyway? I know I have a self destructive streak in me, it comes out in different shapes or forms, volatile relationships, episodes where I do lots of drugs/drink (Usually lasting a few months at a time), and feeling like a failure at inappropriate times, times when I should be confident (like at interviews etc)... Sometimes I feel like I am not giving myself the best out of life.
Title: Re: Self destruction
Post by: Bloopsy on October 07, 2005, 08:04:03 AM: Hi1 I am wildly self destructive too at times a lot. I think a lot of it is from blaming myself for things that happened and how my parents treated me when i was little. Also I heard that people become really self destructive when they are neglected. For me it is also a way of trying to get my mom to realize how much she hurt me and how much I was hurt because I can't talk to her so I take it out on myself. I hate being self destructive i can really relate about not feeling like you are giving yourself the best in life. The only thing that helps me is to pray about it and stuff and try to go to this one meeting of AA where I feel safe and they have meeting after meeting where I just sit for hours when feeling ultimately self destructive. I think it sucks that it is so damn hard to stop being so self destructive, because not only do you have to be so destroyed but then it's like and icky compulsion to keep on doing it.