Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: crookedtree on October 14, 2005, 08:35:09 PM
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Top Ten reasons I find comfort in this Message Board:
My mom randomly checked behind the pictures in our house for bugs that her inlaws may have planted to spy on her.
My worst behaved dog was shot because he ate some of my mom’s cake.
My mom started all introductions with my school friends by inquiring if they are sexually abused at home...and I know more about my mother’s childhood than she knows about mine.
My best behaved dog bit my mom to keep her from beating me.
My grandma gave her a child paddle as a joke and I vainly tried to convince her to use that instead of the frying pan cord.
Every Christmas Eve family gathering took place in the bathroom trying to convince mom not to kill herself.
My mom bit my baby cousin to teach her not to bite.
My worst behaved dog was stuck in the freezer intermittently to teach him a lesson, until she realized he might pee on her food. :D
My most hopeful moments as a child were sitting on the bed in my parents room while my mom packed and told me my dad was a jerk and they were going to get a divorce.
So thank you for all of your posts- I don't post that much but I read often and it helps me immensely. :)
I'd like this thread to be a top ten thread - top ten lists about anything - they can be sad or funny or whatever...
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This is not a top ten list ... wanted to say, I'm so sorry to hear the horrific abuse you went through as a child.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((crookedtree)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Glad you are here and are speaking out about the abuse.
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(I deleted my post because it just seemed too ugly. I'd rather go with the optimistic flow.)
Plucky
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1. Always by my side.
2. Loyal and has unconditional love for me.
3. Training Behr and watching him have fun doing it.
4. Protective of me and my property.
5. Playful and fun and humorous and extremely intelligent.
6. His tail going around in a circle when he saw me.
7. His wonderful dog hair all over the place: on my clothes, on the bed, on the carpet, in my mouth, in the vacuum cleaner, in the lint collector on the dryer, on the brushes, on my socks. Everywhere.
8. Behr's ability to modulate his woofs and barks.
9. Puppy and doggy kisses especially when I was vulnerable like bending over to pick something up or getting down on the floor. Being pinned into place with his huge paws to be licked all over until I laughed.
10. The reason we got a California King-sized bed so all three of us could sleep on the bed together - Behr, my h and I.
The list is actually more than 2 pages long and will be on a web site as a celebration of his life along with his pictures.
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Plucky,
Your name fits you to have been able to survive that kind of abuse. I'm sorry you had to experience all that pain. "Marriage" to a man like that must have been an absolute living nightmare.
Gail
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Crookedtree, that is indeed very abusive! I am sorry you had to go through all that.
Plucky, I am shocked!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know that you had been through so much. When I first read your top 10 list, I thought that it was some kind of a generic list, not based on YOUR experiences. I don't know why I thought that, I guess because I see you as someone who has accomplished a great deal of healing, so I just could not believe that you have suffered so much. I am really proud of you, of who you are today, in spite of what you have witnessed in life.
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Thank you Marta,
actually. all of this was a long time ago. And that relationship was more of a symptom than a cause.
Now I have other issues. I guess my rule of thumb is, if I feel like I seriously might kill him, it's time for a divorce.
Plucky
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top ten reasons I like this board:
We can be angry
We can be sad
We can be happy
We can be regretful
We can be loving
We can feel sorry for ourselves
We can share dispair
We can share hope
We encourage each other
We are here
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Top ten reasons to start my life over:
Because i want to be the person who is inside and has never been allowed to fully surface
Because I have a novel inside me that I need to write
Because maybe I am not as bad as I thought
Because I want my dughter to remember me as a strong independant woman, not a vulnerable victim
Because for a few brief moments recently I have experienced what it is to be alive and I want more of that
Because I have hopes, dreams and ambitions that I want to fullfill
Because I want to be able to look people in the eyes and feel proud of who I am
Because I want to experience without fear
because I value the people around me who love me for who I am
Because I have faith that I can......