Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Bloopsy on January 27, 2006, 03:38:39 AM
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They are not going to make me think that I am the one who is guilty after all the horrible and inhuman things that they did to me just becuase they could. THey are not going to make me feel like a bad person or an n or anything else becaue I know that i am not any of those horrible things that thye want me to think that I am so that I will kill myself or t that they can control; me for the rest of my life. I will not be put down and now subtley but humiliatingly harrassed and all my friendships that I worked very hard on ruined and everything ruined and then sit around thinking that it is my fault becaue it is not. i will go on holding my head high becaue I know in my heart that I did not do anything wrong and it is not okay for people to spy on me and torture me and do things to make me feel like I did horrible things that I did not and would never do and that that is why they want to isolate me from the people who really know me and care about me so that i will believe that I am a horrible person and abandoned and kill myself. They are the horrible people not me I am a good person and have always tried my best to do the right thing even though my life has always been very fucked up by societys standards that is not my fault. i don't know how to describe the horrible torture that these people put me through but at the sam e time neeedless to say that it is horrible and that this is an evil evil and fucked up world but I can still motherfucking smile and everything so I am the better person in the motherfucking end. I just want to say go to hell to all the motherfuckers out there and they know who they motherfucking are no love I'll keedp iut for myself BLOOPSY ROSE AKA VIOLET VIOLENCE
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And furthermore they would not even give me mouthwash or dental floss in the hospital when I have gum disease and I had to fight for everyt last thing in that motherfucking hospital hardcore and go through horrible torture and i would like to say that this world is an evil and horrible place and I do not deserve to be tortures any more than ANYONE else and that means that I do not deserve to be tortured or abused or hurt r mistreated in icky subtle wayss and fucked with and then expected to be nice to the people that fucked me up to begin with and struggle for every last second not to be tortured and that it is not my motherfucking fault that even though i do not deserve this that it is happening anyway and I have to be silent about it all. Fuck Life.
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Bloopsy, I am so very sorry.
You are valuable and you matter.
Your suffering matters.
Your life matters.
Holding you in my heart,
Hopalong
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PS, Bloopsy,
I read something recently that keeps popping back up at me, so I need to think about it.
I thought it might help you too. Here it is:
Pain happens. Suffering is a choice.
(I'm not sure that's always true, but if it is true even a little bit, maybe you can grab onto it and in some way, start to suffer less. I hope you can. I don't know with DID how much you can control, but I do know you're doing the very, very, very best you can. You're doing the very best you can, and you are a good person. Your illness is not your fault.)
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((((((((Bloospy)))))))))
I echo what Hoppy said. You do matter and you matter a great deal. I sincerely hope you find the strength to get the help you so deserve and to find good people to share your life with. You do not deserve to suffer any kind of abuse, but with finding the right people, you can speak out and you don’t have to be silent.
Sending you much love at this time.
H&H xx
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Bloopsy,
I can't tell what is happening to you... but I hope you will be alright. I really hope you find the strength and love to help yourself, and to pull yourself out of this mess.
I can't tell if there are good people trying to free you from bad people, I wish you clarity to decipher who is who.
You sound very confused and hurt. You sound like you are backed into a corner.
Please take care of your fragile self. You are worth it. Fuck anyone else. Rescue yourself
Love Selkie
Please keep posting
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quote;hopalong
You are valuable and you matter.
Your suffering matters.
Your life matters.
Holding you in my heart
She expressed her feelings that are shared by us all. ((((((((seasons))))))))))
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Bloopsy:
You have to hold on to your own sanity. You are justified in feeling the way you do.....but these feelings will soon pass. You're going through the same process that all of us have gone and are going through. It does not feel too great right now, but believe me.....better days are ahead. You are stronger than the ones who hurt you. I know this because it takes strength to tell us about the hurt. There is nothing to hide here.
Go ahead and let it out....put it in words....we can handle it. Keep talking and we'll help pull you through it.
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((((((((((((((((((((Bloopsy rose))))))))))))))))))))
I am thinking of you ... take care x
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(((((((((Bloopsy)))))))))
Being silent is the very last thing we all get to do.
Before we do that, we get to live.
And while we live we can shout our heads off! Especially here. :D
Shouting together with you B, aka violet violence (great name).
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Hi Bloopsy,
I'm glad you're back. I just want to say a few things.
It is not your fault.
You do not have to be quiet. Come up here and speak to us. We are listening.
Bad things can happen to you, to anyone. You can overcome and survive.
You have love in your heart. It will sustain you.
Plucky