Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: moonlight52 on March 31, 2006, 12:03:38 PM
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This is going to drive me out of my mind .It is bad enough my Dad did all this stuff to me AS A KID AND ALL MY LIFE but now n dad and n niece are trying to use (THIS IS MY 27 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER)
and manipulate my daughters life. They are both attorneys big time game players will use any body.My daughter is just so sweet.
She thinks the attention is a compliment.
They both pop into her life and out no emotional support. They have even put her down to me. I HAVE NEVER TOLD HER
They offer her these short term jobs ,they need filled that go no where ,that interrupt her college and they are using her.
THEY ARE USERS .THEY ARE MEAN .THEY THINK PEOPLE ARE PIECES ON A CHESSBOARD. icky icky icky
I WILL NOT LET THEM USE MY DAUGHTER AND MAKE FUN OF HER BEHIND HER BACK !
MOON
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I'm so sorry about what they are doing Moon.
It is amazing to me that people who are themselves heartless know so much about how to break our hearts.
Is there a way for your daughter to learn about how they talk about her behind her back?
Without you being in the middle of it?
It's so hard when our children are adults.
I know I want to step in sometimes when I'm afraid for my sons.
So far, I have resisted the urge to do that. It's very difficult though.
Can you ask her about her educational goals and how these jobs fit into those goals?
Get her thinking along those lines instead of getting yourself in the middle of the Ns and their source of supply.
Maybe the others have some better ideas here, Moon. I can certainly imagine how angry this must make you.
It's so unfair. And she's your daughter. It's wrong of them to do this to her. I hope you can find a way to help her gain her strength.
All my best, Moon. Pennyplant
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Hi PennyP I just talked to my sweetie she said "I want to do my own thing Mom" .And this was the good part" I love you mom but no body makes me do stuff I do not want to do" .She said she has seen Grandpa
upset me but grandpa does not upset her.Grandpa only upsets her when he hurts me .Does that make sense? So maybe I was worried and I should not have been . I am going to just get quiet here and think about it.What a kid my girl is.I did good.YEAH (You still have to watch those two n dad and n niece)I will do that calmer and with a more generous spirit but still there is a history. PP My daughter has other plans for a job figured out that fits with school that does not include the dumb jobs from the N lawyers .All this my daughter figured out on her own .
They are both lawyers and seem to be control freaks.I do not want her to know they talk about her behind her back she has been hurt enough.
Are all lawyers Ns?
MOONLIGHT
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Hi Moon, I thought I posted this before but it doesn't show up.
Maybe I was on a different thread.
Just wanted to say I'm so glad your daughter is so strong and smart.
She sees things as they are and knows how to handle herself. She's
pretty amazing--so, yeah, you did a good job!!! :D
And I'm thinking the law is the perfect place for Ns:
Power
Drama
Center of attention
Control
What more could any N want?
PennyP
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Hi Moonlight,
Whew, started new job and its a long commute, too. I won't be able to post here very often for while.
Moonie, Have you heard the Serenity Prayer,the prayer most associated with AA?
It worlks for us too. (Are we stress-a-holics?)
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
It's beautiful isn't it? The Serenity Prayer
has a powerful effect. Although it may not change your N relatives . . .
But other ppl are some of the things we can't control or change . . .
Trust God, trust your daughter, don't stress, or don't stress too much
your N is controls you with this kind of disturbance . . .stress . . .
its like a permanent legacy for me ,i HAVE to pray in order to rise above my fear . . .
hmmm . . .does that give the N a raison d'entre?
Hugs (Everything will be all right)
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Sheela, what a beautiful reply to Moonlight....I really need that kind of thought energy, so thanks so much, too!!!
Moonlight: the N's certainly do use people like chess pieces...I am currently praying and trying to rise above the certain fallout that will come to my children from him soon..... he likes to use them to get to me...
I have no doubt your N's do the same...
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Hi Sheela ,I am sure your new job is going well .They are very lucky to have you there.My girls are fine.I am just over protective . Things have quieted down now.How is the new job ? Let me know .Thank you for your kindness Sheela .Serenity
is what I am sending to you too.Thank you again for another poem.I shall dust off some of my favorite poems Sheela and surprise you with one or two !
I am not going to change n dad but look at him with more wisdom and strength of my own and less fear.Sheela I am sending
you petals of roses and light !
Hugs
Moonie
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Hi Mum , I know what ns do .I even have learned compassion from my n dad .I am just learning that in fact the cycle has
stopped with me .I did good Mum .Thats what my twin brother and I would tell each other when we were little when we did something good(because our parents did not tell us we ever did anything good .) My girls are OK . They will not be sucked in by the ns in our family. I did good.
Hugs
Moon
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:P
Moonlight, what a joy to hear you repeating "I did good."
YOU DID GOOD YOU DID GOOD YOU DID SOOOOOO GOOD!
Hops
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Hi Hops , Your examples of grace, humor ,wisdom and the ability to unite people when things get silly is wonderful !
What a gift . P.S. Yeah I did do good .Cycle is over in my family. This is good.
Moon