Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: write on April 26, 2006, 06:33:27 PM
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well as part of my relaxation quest I opened tomorrow's date in the Simple Abundance Daybook and it suggests massage, so I booked 30 minutes for starters. Not sure what type I will use, I'll talk to the person about it.
Any suggestions?
I've managed not to grind my teeth today but it's quite a difficult habit to break- trying not to do it causes a tension too, and it's almost subconscious.
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Hi Write,
I love Shiatsu.
Glad you're going to get some help relaxing, you deserve that.
Happy nurturing,
Hops
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Oh wow, that sounds lovely. I've only ever had one professional massage... it was an elimis (sp) wrap with back massage. It does leave your skin feeling lovely, however you do have to be wrapped in tin foil and then wrapped in the tin foil, shuffle your way to the shower. I felt like a turkey! :lol: Whatever you decide on will be great for you and a fab relaxing treat. Enjoy it. xx
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I really want to get a foot massage. There is a Thai girl who does it here... just the thought of it makes me feel gooshy! Actually, I am going to call her right now! You reminded me of it! I also go once a month with my daughter for pedicures and nail art! It is so nice. This is the first time in my life I have started to do these things for myself!
Shiatsu is nice... as is Lomi Lomi.
Enjoy... enjoy... enjoy...
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go for it girl!
I get a pedicure about every 6 weeks and the Chinese ladies do a good job.
They wrap my legs and ankles in a seaweed concoction- honestly, it cures swollen ankles if I had a bad night and didn't sleep.
Has anyone tried REFLEXOLOGY?
I can't decide if that is valid, given the immense benefits and sensitivity of foot care.
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Has anyone tried massage after a lifetime of ….. thinking the idea is ….unthinkable, as a pleasant experience? (I can’t imagine enjoying it. The idea makes my toes curl. I can just about cope with a haircut. But I’m curious about it.)
Has anyone overcome these feelings/thoughts?
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Has anyone tried massage after a lifetime of ….. thinking the idea is ….unthinkable, as a pleasant experience? (I can’t imagine enjoying it. The idea makes my toes curl. I can just about cope with a haircut. But I’m curious about it.)
Has anyone overcome these feelings/thoughts?
Hi Portia
I can relate to where you are coming from…. Before I went for my massage I was scared stiff (sorry should have spell checked... edited to change still to stiff), sat on the edge of the bed thing like a frightened rabbit, not sure what they were going to do to me. I very nearly didn’t go through with it, however the girl who did my massage helped by talking me through everything beforehand, what she was going to do, and why and what the benefits were going to be for me. If I’d had someone who wasn’t prepared to do that, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have gone through with it. However afterwards I did feel more relaxed (though I suppose I couldn’t have felt more tense beforehand, so anything would have been more relaxing maybe! :lol:), and I would have it done again.
I don’t enjoy getting my hair cut either… always feel dead nervous beforehand and have to force myself to go!
Love H&H xx
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I love a good long (at least an hour) deep tissue back massage. I have had a couple of back injuries and a whiplash and carry all my tension in my neck and shoulders. I need to have someone who will attack those knots and tight spots mercilessly, or it is a waste of time for me.
I have not had the reflexology, but my best friend does it regularly and loves it. She struggles with osteo-arthritis in her knees and it does give her some relief.
I have found that it is difficult to find a really good massage therapist.
Brigid
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Thanks!
I'll see what transpires today, and expect to try a few to find one that really suits me.
I'll look into the reflexology too.
I am more relaxed- haven't been grinding my teeth in the night, that's 2 nights now. I can tell my jaw is much less sore than a few days ago, and the gums areound my crown.
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I used to go for massages a lot, when I carried my children, and had horrible back pain. Shiatsu is ok. but 7 seconds of hell on a trigger point can be pretty intense. Although I did find a bit of relief. The best for me is deep tissue, Swedish, mostly....but there are so many kinds now. I can't go to a man. Just don't like it. But I have had some great women massage therapists. Sometimes I cry, just like when I have had accupuncture. I hear this is common.
anyway, I sure could use one now! I just don't have time!!
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IT WAS GREAT!
I just had half an hour trial session and like you say in places it's a bit raw, but I just told her when I thought something was painful.
I'm going to try every treatment, one at a time.
This is much more fun than dating!!!
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ahh- massage!!! Glad you enjoyed it, Write! thanks for your post, by the by and I'm glad things are o.k in write's world! i love massages! I've never been good at taking care of myself and just started in past few months getting massages every two weeks. Have chronic neck and shoulder pain and past injuries, surgeries etc. Has made a world of difference!!! I do agree with ? Brigid on the intense pain from deep tissue massage! Wow! sometimes feels like a spike is being driven through you! I identify with you, Portia, on reservations though! I personally hate foot massages and can barely stand- pardon the poor pun!- pedicures! Based on my sadistic, but not N father- who used to take a straight razor and sit on me and then cut plantar's warts out of my heels as a kid. Used to tell me ' it doesn't hurt because you have calluses on your heels". I always ended up with holes- literally- in my heels that i could stuff cotton in and talk about pain!!!! What I always found ' interesting" is that my older sister- who also had plantars warts- was sent to doctors to have them removed! She also was never physically abused by my father, like I was. a really sick thing about my Dad was he used to tell people that what he really wanted to be was a doctor- talk about your Dr. Mengele bed side manner! anyway- therapeutic touch is wonderful and healing! Moira
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It's funny that you mention that fear, Portia. I hadn't really thought about it. I make an appointment now and I force myself to go. I always end up enjoying myself and feeling good and wondering why I don't do more nice things for myself. I think I also fear that they will be thinking negative thoughts about me (isn't that dumb? Like they don't see a million people a year). I do it with the doctor and the hair cutter and anyone else Ihave appointments with. I feel like they will think I am fat or ugly, or my hair is awful and I don't take care of it right or the doctor will know that I am not taking care of myself right. I have this idea, I think, that someone somewhere has a list of the way you are "supposed to be" and I don't fulfill that list. God knows what it is I think is the mold I am supposed to fit into. And I don't have these expectations of any other people... At any rate, Portia, I used to make appointments and continually cancel them from fear. Force yourself to go to one and then try another one a month or two later. It is getting easier for me. It's funny, I never feel weird about taking my kids for appointments... I guess because I think they are perfect???? :)
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H&H thank you, when are you having your next one? 8)
Teartracks, thank you so much for your description of that day, it makes a good, warm, safe image in my mind which is maybe what I need.
Mum, I heard that some people cry too. Tapping into the body’s memories of pain? Or touching emotional pain held in the body? I’m only just starting to think about these things.
Moira, feet are so important. What parents do to kids. It’s never not shocking. (((Moira)))
Beth thank you, I think it’s not giving my body much thought (I don’t care that I’m not ‘perfect’) but I feel….somewhat apart from it and it’s…..just there. I guess I don’t give it much worth! I guess listening to all of you, I’m not exactly healthy in the way I feel about ‘it’. Funny how it’s an ‘it’ to me. Even saying ‘my body’ feels odd. Work in progress. :?
Write This is much more fun than dating!!! I shall remember that when I finally bite the massage bullet! :D Good for you.
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Write This is much more fun than dating!!! I shall remember that when I finally bite the massage bullet! Good for you.
I've just met a really nice guy too! But I'm only half-way through my self-imposed 'no love relationships' time....
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mmmmm maybe you could decide (in your head) to be strictly friends.....first, as it were? Tricky though, if you find him physically attractive (do you?). Decisions decisions!
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Write, Good for you! I think that is just great. I have received some gift certificates for massages in the past few months. Just last weekend I went and had a shiatsu massage. I had no idea what it would entail. I thought some guy in a robe would be walking around me with incense making me repeat, "Omm". Thankfully, all it consisted of was sort of an eclectic array of massage techniques. Ninety minutes, though! I felt like I should have been up and doing something after sixty.
ANewSheriff
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Ninety minutes, though! I felt like I should have been up and doing something after sixty.
yes, my 30 mins wasn't quite long enough, saying that, she left me relaxing in the room and when I could hear this weird snoring sound I decided- best leave now!
be strictly friends.....first, as it were?
it's ok, my ex was at the concert tonight.
He says he's gay....
( wish he wasn't always so bl**dy right about that....
how can he tell????!!!! )
Friends is ok.
That's what I'm going for.
Getting to know people and enjoying their company.
His parents took photos of us earlier, and we were joking.
I didn't feel any heart-stopping attraction.
Saying that...
do you feel those frissons etc once you're a healthy person?
Or were they all born of obsessions and acting out?
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do you feel those frissons etc once you're a healthy person?
Or were they all born of obsessions and acting out
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That is a GREAT question, Write. Thanks for posing it.
I don't know the answer but I want to know.
I don't know about healthy desire, and I've been on hiatus too.
I hope there'll be lots of wisdom here about this.
I do know that really getting over attraction to Nmen has left a big question mark for me...what would it/could it be like to be attracted to a decent, kind man???
Hope we both get the chance to find out!
Hops
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Back to the subject of massage... I got an hour long foot massage. It is so amazing to me how the body works. She touched my toes with a little stick, and I could feel the pain in my lower back. Today I feel like I did a strenous workout in my calves. I really enjoyed the massage. It was great. Sheriff, I always get to thinking I should be doing something else with my time too!!! I have to force myself to focus and try to use it as some sort of meditation time.
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H&H thank you, when are you having your next one? 8)
Hi Portia
I've just been reading back over the posts and apologise I must have missed this before.
Me and hubby had a couple in Thailand. Luckily we were massaged by two thai ladies, both in the same place so we went for a shower together afterwards, then the steam room and then we had the massage. I was really glad he was there, as two women chattering away in thai through the whole thing. I'm sure they were just chatting about nothing, but I could imagine them saying to each other, mine's got a big bum etc etc.... :lol:
It is worth trying it though....
Write.... Good for you
Saying that...
do you feel those frissons etc once you're a healthy person?
Or were they all born of obsessions and acting out?
I believe that you do feel those frissons healthy or not.... by this I'm taking it to mean the butterflies in the stomach kind of feeling? I definitely felt this when I met my husband, and I still feel it now sometimes, when I look at him. I like to think we have a healthy relationship because it feels mutual and I feel loved and wanted, but also heard. I'm not going to pretend to you that our relationship is perfect by any means, or that we don't get annoyed with each other from time to time, but I do think we may have one secret to why we get on which we were discussing the other day. What happened was his brother and his wife were bickering (not a full blown argument, but bickering if you know what I mean)... about 3 plates which he left in the sink. They were bickering for ages about it, and me and hubby went home and said "It's three plates, does it really matter if they were washed or not, or who by? Do we think it was worth their energy?" No.... and I think this is it, anything minor or trivial we let go. In the grand scheme of things, in the bigger picture of our relationship, it doesn't matter.
Anyway... I think I've gone on enough.....
H&H xx
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I think I've gone on enough
never!
I was thinking of doing a massage tomorrow but something is telling me it's a bad idea, it's better to wait until I'm a bit calmer.
What are people's experiences of going if you're emotionally charged/ upset?
I'm going to go swim outside for a while; I feel like there's tension in me, but if someone touches me I'll scream or cry.
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I think I've gone on enough
never!
I was thinking of doing a massage tomorrow but something is telling me it's a bad idea, it's better to wait until I'm a bit calmer.
What are people's experiences of going if you're emotionally charged/ upset?
I'm going to go swim outside for a while; I feel like there's tension in me, but if someone touches me I'll scream or cry.
Bless you (((((Write))))
I've not been when I've been emotionally charged or upset, but what I did pick up on was you saying something is telling me it's a bad idea... then I feel trust your instinct. If you feel it's better to go when you're calmer then why not? The other alternative I was thinking about is, how about a foot massage or something that's not an all out massage.
I've just come back from yoga tonight, and yoga is great for tension. I only go one night a week, but it's good because although you are in a class with other people, it's all about going your own pace and listening to your body. There are also lots of breathing exercises to help relax you. Here's one that you can try at home if you want to.... You sit on the floor with your legs out straight and ensure your back is straight and shoulders back. You need to check your alignment by checking that your feet are in line with your hips, and feet slightly turned outwards. Then from that position you slowly lie backwards, trying to keep your alignment. When you are lying flat on your back with your feet in line with your hips, you place your hands by your side, palms upwards. Then you take a couple of deep breaths, and then start counting from 50 backwards. 50 - inhale, 49 - exhale... until you get to 20. From 20 you slow your breathing down by counting slowly 20 - inhale & exhale. 19 - inhale & exhale.
Take care
H&H xx
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what I did pick up on was you saying something is telling me it's a bad idea... then I feel trust your instinct. If you feel it's better to go when you're calmer then why not?
I wonder why I always try to go against that?
Why I dont just listen to my inner voice and take care of myself.
I loved yoga in ENgland, had this great teacher who understood it.
Reflexology has been suggested a few times; I'm going to look into that.
Thanks y'all.
I am calmer tonight.
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H&H,
I had a massage in Thailand and the same thing happened. The girls laughed and chatted the whole time. That certainly doesn't add to the realxation. I was kind of annoyed about it. But then I also know that it must be a boring job and such. Still, I want to relax when I get it done and kind of meditate.
Beth
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The girls laughed and chatted the whole time.
what could trigger any better the internalised message: I don't hear you/ you're not important...yuk.
I don't even like supermarket checkers talking over my head!
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I know, write, it's so disrespectful.