Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: seasons on May 07, 2006, 04:06:33 PM
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Hiya Seasons....
Yes it's annoying when people don't leave proper messages.... I get loads saying "give me a call when you get this". Mum always does this and if I don't call her back that night, she'll ring again the next morning. She did that today... and do you know what was so important - tomato plants!!! Hey ho.
What about trying to call people back when it suits you? A kind of valuing yourself so that they fit in with your schedule? And ditching the guilt if you don't call when you think that they want you to call.
Hugs
H&H xx
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Seasons
overall in answer to your post: YES :x, A THOUSAND YESSES! :x :x :x
is it important? is this another cry wolf? is it another drama message?
Ohh boy do I know this! I still haven't replied to an email that's over a week old because I can't quite get the correct frame of mind yet. I don't trust myself not to say something that betrays my feelings. I have to be calm, rational and indulgent, like there's a 6 year old on the phone. Because there is!
It's hard work and I don't like it. But I do it. The alternative I can't do because my conscience, my sense of guilt / compassion is too darn strong. damn it. :? thank goodness! :D
It could be worse: we could be them. :( eh? what do you think?
Coping tip: "sorry I didn't call you back, I was busy, now tell me your news...." (sit back, drink coffee, read a magazine...)
PS Great tips above too!
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seasons:
We ended up playing phone tag. When we did finally connect I found out she was basically board, yes I felt used. Because while I was chatting and it was my turn she needed to go, something better came up.
Oh I hate relationships where, you are the one who is always there for them, let them cry to you, cuss you out, whatever, but then when you are the one in need, "sorry, I'm busy, can't help you now." It feels so awful and betraying for sure!
As far as phone aggravations, there is this friend of my daughter, age 11, who calls my house to talk to my daughter, and when I say "Hello?" the girl just says a real snappy "Hi" (sounds more like "ha), and then just sits there...doesn't say "is Randi there?" or "this is Taylor, can I talk to Randi please?" Nothing, just "Hi"............grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I DREAD the girl calling here!
~RM
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YES! I am sooo glad you brought this topic up! Everyone does this to me. This is what I hear on a regular basis
" I've called you all week. Where were you?"
" You NEVER answer your phone!"
" You don't want to talk to me? Why didn't you pick up the phone?"
Sometimes I'm gone. To the store. To the school. To my grandma's. Sometimes I'm taking a nap. Sometimes I'm in the basement doing laundry. Sometimes the phone is lost and I don't hear it. Sometimes my kids have turned the ringer off. Sometimes I'm outside planting something, mowing, or relaxing in the sun. AND sometimes I just don't won't to anwer the phone! I have caller ID and some certain people I never answer the phone for. So now everytime someone says that I never answer the phone I want to scream. It's not like I don't have a reason to avoid them.
Seasons, I'm with you about ripping out the phone. I'm sorry this is something you have to deal with too. It really is a big pain in the butt. You're right it is very invasive. Don't buy into their Guilt trips... It's just another way of controlling you.