Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: anony123 on May 28, 2006, 12:40:54 AM

Title: Dangerous combination in intimate relationships?
Post by: anony123 on May 28, 2006, 12:40:54 AM

I am still struggling with some relationship issuses and why we are attracted to certain "types" of people and not to others.
Please,ladies, comment  on this -
You are dating or meet a guy who is , funny , unpredictable, not easy to get, popular, cocky, extremely tender,sometimes withdrawn and a lttle bit of a "bad boy" .Do you run away or chase him, or let him chase you OR get an unlisted number?

My sister is with such a guy and she is "hooked"
Any advice.

Title: Re: Dangerous combination in intimate relationships?
Post by: cat on May 28, 2006, 12:53:27 AM

Personally, I wouldn't run away - but I would do any running to either!!!  I'd take it really slow.  What's the rush?  And an unlisted number, in my opinion, is to shelter me away from people I'm not sure about

I've friends who rushed to the altar - and now are in their 11th year trying to sort out how to get divorced!  At the same time, I really have no idea how my own sister would have responded if I told her a guy she was going out with wasn't good for her.

Title: Re: Dangerous combination in intimate relationships?
Post by: Brigid on May 28, 2006, 09:10:22 AM

I don't think you've listed any traits which are so objectionable that you would need to run away or get an unlisted number.  Those things could be said about many guys and girls--especially in the early stages of a relationship--who are trying to be protective and careful while figuring out their feelings.

Now, if "bad boy" means addictions or abuse, then you are talking a different story--so I guess you would need to define that a little more.  Also, age is a factor and as you get older, the bad boy thing should pretty much disappear or it takes on the term "loser" IMO.

Brigid

Title: Re: Dangerous combination in intimate relationships?
Post by: Hopalong on May 28, 2006, 09:32:49 AM

Well, probably just because of my own history, for me personally, these are traits that would now be red flags for me:

unpredictable, cocky, "not easy to get", sometimes withdrawn, and "bad boy"

I personally would need to not get involved. They sound enough like commitmentphobia traits, that I wouldn't want to pursue or yearn after this person.

Hops