Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => What Helps? => Topic started by: Certain Hope on August 12, 2006, 05:06:52 PM
-
Author: Elisabeth Elliot
Source: A Lamp For My Feet
Scripture: Romans 13:14
[b]Christ My Armor[/b]
When faced with threat of any sort of invasion or attack, whether from human or spiritual foes, it is quite natural to draw back, throw up my guard, attempt to defend myself. The Christian has a far better defense--"Let Christ Jesus Himself be the armor that you wear" (Rom 13:14 NEB). Let me take my stand in Him, come to my enemy without fear, responding only in the power and with the love of Christ.
Who can hurt me then? And what hostility on earth or in hell can destroy me? That person whom I most dread to see, let me meet him as Christ meets him. Let Christ meet him. He is my armor, I am hidden in Him. My weakness, my fear, my hostility will be covered by his strength, his courage, his love.
-
HI HOPE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Without fear and Love of Christ.....................
Moon
-
You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.
NASB 1 John 4:4
-
This life in Christ begins with learning, affirming, and trusting in each part of the armor. The first part is truth--God's revelation of all that He is to us, all that He has done for us, and all that He promises to do for us in the days ahead. This enduring truth is written in the Bible, revealed by the Holy Spirit, and realized through Jesus Christ.
It cuts through all the world's distortions, deceptions, and compromises.
http://www.crossroad.to/Victory/Armor.htm (http://www.crossroad.to/Victory/Armor.htm)
-
Amen! But...isn't it hard looking at N through Christ's eyes? Knowing that the N is not living in the Image of God?? In learning all this N stuff...I have come to where I have sympathy for my H. I understand why the Lord put us together...I want to handle it in a Christ-like way, but that is so hard. How is it when crap is thrown in your face and you are so confused as to what just happened? I need to get my shield shined up, handle those arrows.
thank you Certain Hope!
-
I think just believing this is ineffective. You have to "feel" this love and protection or its just blind belief .. you might as well believe in fairies! When you are depressed you cant feel anything. Only God can give you this feeling of his protection being real and he doesnt more often than not.
I too believe in God .. but it has to be powerful and "real" or its pointless
-
Dear Ami,
Just as God sent your sister in Christ, Maria, to you, He is sending you to others in order to touch their hearts with His love and grace. Thank you for your note to me. It's been ages since I've read here, but God knew that this was the time for me to hear from you... and to read the other posts on this thread. You've helped me tremendously!
What you wrote in your post here yesterday is the truth, Ami.
Jesus is the answer to every question and the fulfillment of every need we have.
He's not only there for you... He's there in you, because you are born again from above.
He will never, ever leave you or forsake you... and He will never, ever lie to you.
I understand that fear of which you speak. At times it still threatens to overwhelm me, but I know the source of it and he's a loser... the original N... the one who thought that he could be "good", without God. One of my favorite teachers says, "The only ground the devil can't take is what you're standing on." Not very good grammar, but he gets the point across :)
Standing on the solid Rock of Christ is the very best and safest ground of all.
The Lord bless and keep you, Ami... and each one of you who's posted here. Thank you!
With love,
Hope
P.S. A good saying to remember... God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. He's not waiting for some day when you've got yourself all cleaned up to be of use to Him. HE is the one who does the cleaning. Hugs.
-
:? i agree that as a Christan, i am supposed to forgive and love my husband--But i am SO tired of forgiving him-again,again,and again.....
i ask god DAILY to please deal with him, to have mercy on him-because(in truth) I Don't want to be merciful to him anymore..i don't want to rollover and say-thats OK dear..
I'm here as your doormat, and play pretend to everyone until he trips his mental switch again..
his mentality is " i got over it, why cant you.. you are the crazy one, you are the one with the problems "attitude" as he calls it.." he cant understand WHY I'm still hurt and defensive day-after-day....why i "make myself feel this way"....
But he goes to church,volunteers, puts on a good show and puffs up and brags about His family,(my accomplishments) and What he is Doing to support and help His family...*cue-pat on back*...
thats the rub..I'm in this relationship trying to honor gods word,be faithful,strong and forgiving( and not walk out like my mom did 4 times) but living with this monster of a narcissist....
When do i get to be happy in this??? i don't know what god wants me to do anymore..... stay and be honorable, or try to leave and start all over again..i feel like i am breaking my word/vows to god by leaving....
-
SOME biblical particulars on spiritual armour
2co 6:7 By the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armour of righteousness on the right hand and on the left,
by the armour of righteousness, on the right hand, and on the left:
meaning, either the whole armour of God, with which a Christian is all over clothed from head to foot, and in the strength of Christ may engage any adversary without fear; or else particularly the sword of the Spirit in the right hand, and the shield of faith in the left, whereby both the offensive and defensive part may be acted; or, as others think, uprightness of conscience, and holiness of life and conversation; with which being blessed, though on the one hand he meets with prosperity, and on the other hand with adversity, he is not lifted up with the one, nor cast down with the other; he is moved by neither, but passes on unconcerned.
romans-- 13:12The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
13Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
14But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
12The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
13Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
14But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
and let us put on the armour of light;
the whole armour of God, the use of which lies in the exercise of grace, and discharge of duty; particularly good works are designed here, which though they are not the believer's clothing, his robe of justifying righteousness, they are both his ornament and his armour; by which he adorns the doctrine of Christ, and defends his own character and principles against the charges find calumnies of then: these being performed aright, spring from the light of grace in a regenerate man, and are such as will bear the light to be seen of men; and are the lights which are to shine before men, that they beholding them, may glorify God; so virtue was by Antisthenes , called (anafaireton oplon) , "armour which cannot be taken away": the allusion is thought to be to the bright and glittering armour of the Romans; the Alexandrian copy reads, "the words of light".
ephesians 6: 10Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
19And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
20For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
EPH 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God…
Not that which God himself is sometimes clothed with, and uses against his enemies; but what he has provided for his people, and furnishes them with; the particulars of which are after mentioned: and it is called "the armour of God", because it is prepared by him for his people, and is bestowed on them by him; and because it is in its own nature divine and spiritual, and not carnal; and because it is provided for fighting the Lord's battles, and is used in them; and because the efficacy of it is from him, and the execution it does is owing to him: and it is whole, complete, and perfect; and all of it is useful, and no part to be neglected, but all to be taken and "put on"; which is not to make and provide this armour, but to take it, as in (Ephesians 6:13) ; as being ready made and provided, and to expect and prepare for battle, and make use of it; and this supposes saints to be in a warfare state, and that they are in the character of soldiers, and have enemies to fight with, and therefore should be accoutred with proper and suitable armour, to meet them:
EPH 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood…
The Syriac, Arabic, and Ethiopic versions, and some copies, read "you", instead of "we". This is a reason why saints should be strong in the Lord, and why they should put on the whole armour of God, and prepare for battle, since their enemies are such as here described: not "flesh and blood"; frail mortal men, such as were wrestled against in the Olympic games, to which the apostle alludes. For this wrestling, as Philo the Jew says , concerning Jacob's wrestling, is not of the body, but of the soul; see (Matthew 16:17) (Galatians 1:16) ; and the meaning is, not with men only, for otherwise the saints have a conflict with men; with profane men, and wrestle against them, by bearing a testimony against their enormities, and by patiently enduring their reproaches, and conquer them by a constant adherence to Christ, and an exercise of faith upon him, which gets the victory over the world; and with heretical men, and maintain a conflict with them, by watching and observing the first appearance of their errors and heresies, and declaring against them, and by using Scripture arguments to confute them, and by rejecting the stubborn and incorrigible from church communion: yet they wrestle not against these only,
but against principalities, against powers;
by whom are meant not civil magistrates, or the Roman governors, though these are sometimes so called, (Titus 3:1) , and may be said to be the rulers of the darkness of this world, or of the dark Heathen world, and were in high places, and were of wicked and malicious spirits, against the people of Christ; yet these cannot be opposed to flesh and blood, or to men, since they were such themselves; and though they were in high, yet not in heavenly places; and the connection with the preceding verse shows the contrary, the enemy being the devil, and the armour spiritual; wherefore the devils are here designed, who are described from their power, rule, and government, (See Gill on Ephesians 1:21), both in this clause, and in the next:
and against the rulers of the darkness of this world;
that is, over wicked men in it, who are in a state of darkness itself; and so Satan is called the prince, and god of the world, (John 12:31) (2 Corinthians 4:4) . The Jews use this very word, the apostle does here, of the angel of death; who is called darkness ; and the devil is called by them, (Kvwx lv rv) , "the prince of darkness" ; and mention is made by them of (amle ykwvx) , "the darkness of the world" ; from whom the apostle seems to have taken these phrases, as being in common use among the Jews; who also use it of civil governors , and render it, as here, "the rulers of the world", and say it signifies monarchs, such as rule from one end of the world to the other : some copies, and the Ethiopic version, leave out the phrase, of this world. It follows,
and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
in allusion to (Isaiah 59:17) , meaning not works of righteousness done by men, though these are a fence when rightly used against the reproaches and charges of the enemy, as they were by Samuel, (1 Samuel 12:3) , but rather the graces of faith and love, (1 Thessalonians 5:8) , though faith has another place in the Christian armour, afterwards mentioned; wherefore it seems best to understand this of the righteousness of Christ, which being imputed by God, and received by faith, is a guard against, and repels the accusations and charges of Satan, and is a security from all wrath and condemnation.
FROM JOHN GILL'S EXPOSITION OF THE BIBLE 1887
-
Michael, thanks for the exposition!
The expression "armor of Light" is indeed fitting, as the Light of Christ
drives away the darkness.
To Legal Mom,
After reading through your other posts on the board, I just wanted to say... forgiving your husband does not mean forgetting his wrong choices and actions. Nor does it mean ignoring the pattern of behavior which he has displayed.
In my opinion, pathological narcissism is not a mental illness. I view N'ism as the consequence of a conscious decision on the part of a human being to worship himself, to the point where he chooses to deny reality lest his fantasy-world be destroyed. In other words, I believe that the truly pathological narcissist is a reprobate, by his own choice - forever separated from all that is good and true.
I say this because it's my understanding that mental illness is not Biblical justification for divorce. Abandonment is. Nobody abandons another like N does... all that's present in your home is an empty shell who wants to turn you into an empty vessel like himself.
Also, loving a person does not mean rolling over and saying, "that's okay, dear". In truth, loving another with God's kind of love includes holding him accountable.
But when you do that, and when N knows that you really mean it and that you have God in and with you backing you up (and he will know), that's when it gets tricky. If you do not now feel prepared to flee at that moment to a place where N cannot find you, please know that God makes a way where we see none. If you are in Christ, you have stuff in you that you don't even know is there, sister :)
And something else... I spent alot of years trying to prove that I could do what had not been done before. What I found is that trying not to be like Mom is a dead-end road that can lead to many damaging, defeating choices. You don't have to base your life on trying to do better than anyone... whether that's your mom or a sibling or even trying to improve on your own past patterns.
Identification with Christ is the key to this. The only way to break the bonds of the flesh is by and through the Spirit.
Well, thanks for listening... and I hope this helps.
Sometimes we get it stuck in our heads that God wants this or that... and all the while He's just trying to get us to lean on Him alone, so that He can lead us to a place we cannot even envision. All I know is - He is much bigger than I ever imagined... and He is so very good! You can trust Him.
With love,
Hope
P.S. Hugs to you, Ami... your words are full of wisdom and truth.
-
Welcome Back Certain Hope!
-
Welcome Back Certain Hope!
lol... oh, am I back? :shock: :wink: ((((((((Mountainspring))))))))) thank you, Sister. I'm very glad to see you're still kickin!
Me, too... in my own odd way. Kickin, that is. God bless and keep you!
With love,
Hope
-
Anyone been reading on this site?? It is a spiritually based place--and very well written--it helps to keep me grounded and to keep my eyes and heart open to his direction!!! Just thought I'd share
http://www.altrue.net/site/luke173/
-
Anyone been reading on this site?? It is a spiritually based place--and very well written--it helps to keep me grounded and to keep my eyes and heart open to his direction!!! Just thought I'd share
http://www.altrue.net/site/luke173/
Thank you, Birdie!! I just took a glance... and already know that I definitely want to read further there. Looks like a wonderful resource to me!
The section on Proverbs caught my eye right away. I'll be back there regularly, no doubt. Thanks again for sharing :)
Hope
-
I have been brooding about this thread, because this is a technique that my future mother in law often uses. She is one of the lonliest, saddest, most depressed people I know. And I feel that it is because she doesn't want to take any responsiblity for making positive changes in her life. So she `imagines' that her `spiritual armour' gives her the licence to make as many irresponsible choices as she wants. She believes that she can stay with a bad partner, or hang onto an exploitative friend, or a bad job, or any bad situation really, and that her `imagined armour' will protect her from harm.
Meanwhile by putting herself right in the firing line for abuse, she suffers over and over again. It is so hard to be a part of this, as her closest relatives. She frequently becomes ill physically (needing our care and attention). She is usually depressed, to the point where its sometimes really hard to pick up the phone in the evening for fear of dealing with her suicidal thoughts. She chronically chooses narcissists as partners or friends. And she expects us to be her support and sounding boards over and over and over. Its so draining and overwhleming. It seems so clear that her choises are causing her pain. And yet when we confront her, she says `oh but i have my spiritual armour'. It makes me feel so helpless.
Having been raised a Christian, I feel that the role of Jesus and of God is not to absolve a believer of taking responsibility for their decisons or the outcomes in their lives. Jesus offered his believers a guide for selecting the right people (as well as the right path ) in our lives, and it is up to us to accept or ignore this advice. He offered his believers the gift of Faith because faith is what enables a person to make the right decisions, even when it feels lonely and causes pain in the short term. None of what he taught was intended to make his followers victims. Jesus was a passionate man, who had good boundaries, and he expressed anger when appropriate. He was the ultimate activist. He didn't sit around doing nothing and claiming that his `spiritual armour' would help him. He took action and He made difficult choices . And he DIED for what he believed in.
-
Bella,
That's a sad case indeed. I've been in that place where Scriptural wisdom and truth were nothing but a philosophy to me. I knew the words, but misunderstood and misapplied them. These principles were not a genuine spiritual reality in my life... because that only proceeds from a genuine heart change.
One flagrant example which comes to mind is the controlling husband who behaves as though he has free reign over his wife, because of the Biblical command that she must submit to him. Conveniently, he ignores the Lord's command that husbands must love their wives just as Christ loved the Church, giving up His life for her.
I absolutely agree with you about the need for believers to take responsibility for their choices. When I hear stories like this, I think - what happened to the girdle (belt) of truth? Then I think of the book of Proverbs, overflowing with wisdom for your future mother-in-law... for all of us. From what I've lived, I know that some folks are apparently addicted to suffering. I think that I was. The idea seems to be that as long as there's continued association with those who will happily "victimize" any willing participant, there is a ready excuse...
and plenty of "if onlys".
Jesus said that in this world we will have trouble... that's a given.
What helped wake me up is the rest of the story - "But take heart, I have overcome the world!"
Bella, your statement re: faith is so good...Thank you for that. It was just what I needed to hear this morning!
"He offered his believers the gift of Faith because faith is what enables a person to make the right decisions, even when it feels lonely and causes pain in the short term."
There's something I read in a commentary recently about the armor of God - specifically the footwear portion of it.
"The preparation of the Gospel may be as it were shoes to you: and it is very fitly called the Gospel of peace, because, seeing we have to go to God through most dangerous ranks of enemies, this may encourage us to go on bravely, in that you know by the doctrine of the Gospel, that we are travelling to God who is at peace with us."
And then this, re: the Shield -
"This is the shield, faith; that is to say, full and entire trust in God, the consciousness of grace and of His favour maintained in the heart. Here faith is not simply the reception of God's testimony (although it is founded on that testimony), but the present assurance of the heart with regard to that which God is for us, founded, as we have just said, on the testimony which He has given of Himself-trust in His love and in His faithfulness, as well as in His power. "If our hearts condemn us not, then have we confidence towards God." The work of the Spirit in us is to inspire this confidence. When it exists, all the attacks of the enemy, who seeks to make us believe that the goodness of God is not so sure-all his efforts to destroy or to weaken in our hearts this confidence in God and to hide Him from us, prove fruitless. His arrows fall to the ground without reaching us. We stand fast in the consciousness that God is for us: our communion is not interrupted. The fiery darts of the enemy are not the desires of the flesh, but spiritual attacks.
Thus we can hold up our heads: moral courage, the energy which goes forward, is maintained. Not that we have anything to boast of in ourselves, but the salvation and the deliverance of God are fresh in our minds. God has been for us; He is for us: who shall be against us? He was for us when we had no strength; it was salvation, when we could do nothing. This is our confidence-God Himself-not looking at ourselves. We have the helmet of salvation on our heads. The former parts of the armour give us freedom to enjoy the two latter."
(from Darby's commentary)
This helped to round out the entire picture for me... giving the basis for every move the believer makes in this life and the mind/heart-set from which to operate.
And one more thought -
where is the joy?
"Rejoice evermore" is just as much a command as is the directive to put on the full armor.
Again, thank you, Bella! God bless and keep you.
-
Thanks so much for writing Certain Hope, and for offering me some ideas about the situation I described (hugs to you!!). I really think you hit the nail on the head when you suggested that this often has to do with being addicted to suffering. When you put it like that, I can see how this could happen quite naturally, and also how difficult and frightenng it must be to break out of the cycle if its ingrained over many years.
One thing they never really say in the ` how to be a whole and strong person' type of self-help literature, is that breaking out of victimhood also means forgoing the flow of energy and attention that comes from others, because of their care and compassion for you. `Getting strong again' is a bit like being a bird being kicked out of the nest when it starts testing its wings. Suddenly you have to do it all on your own. The soft, cosy nest of attention and care from others due to your frailty is almost abruptly removed. I have occassionally thought that this is someting to do with the fact that a `strong' or `stronger' person is more threatening than a victim. People seem to feel safer around someone they perceive as vulnerable. But maybe its also that people with full lives of their own feel easily drained and have only so much energy to give. Again, I feel this is natural but it can be a harsh reality to face if you are the person who was safe in the cosy nest of care, and then suddenly have to live without it.
Thanks so much for giving me another perspective, Certain Hope. Your words actually make me feel a bit more postvie about the situation with my mother in law. hugs to you!
-
Thanks so much for writing Certain Hope, and for offering me some ideas about the situation I described (hugs to you!!). I really think you hit the nail on the head when you suggested that this often has to do with being addicted to suffering. When you put it like that, I can see how this could happen quite naturally, and also how difficult and frightenng it must be to break out of the cycle if its ingrained over many years.
One thing they never really say in the ` how to be a whole and strong person' type of self-help literature, is that breaking out of victimhood also means forgoing the flow of energy and attention that comes from others, because of their care and compassion for you. `Getting strong again' is a bit like being a bird being kicked out of the nest when it starts testing its wings. Suddenly you have to do it all on your own. The soft, cosy nest of attention and care from others due to your frailty is almost abruptly removed. I have occassionally thought that this is someting to do with the fact that a `strong' or `stronger' person is more threatening than a victim. People seem to feel safer around someone they perceive as vulnerable. But maybe its also that people with full lives of their own feel easily drained and have only so much energy to give. Again, I feel this is natural but it can be a harsh reality to face if you are the person who was safe in the cosy nest of care, and then suddenly have to live without it.
Thanks so much for giving me another perspective, Certain Hope. Your words actually make me feel a bit more postvie about the situation with my mother in law. hugs to you!
Thanks so much for writing Certain Hope, and for offering me some ideas about the situation I described (hugs to you!!). I really think you hit the nail on the head when you suggested that this often has to do with being addicted to suffering. When you put it like that, I can see how this could happen quite naturally, and also how difficult and frightenng it must be to break out of the cycle if its ingrained over many years.
One thing they never really say in the ` how to be a whole and strong person' type of self-help literature, is that breaking out of victimhood also means forgoing the flow of energy and attention that comes from others, because of their care and compassion for you. `Getting strong again' is a bit like being a bird being kicked out of the nest when it starts testing its wings. Suddenly you have to do it all on your own. The soft, cosy nest of attention and care from others due to your frailty is almost abruptly removed. I have occassionally thought that this is someting to do with the fact that a `strong' or `stronger' person is more threatening than a victim. People seem to feel safer around someone they perceive as vulnerable. But maybe its also that people with full lives of their own feel easily drained and have only so much energy to give. Again, I feel this is natural but it can be a harsh reality to face if you are the person who was safe in the cosy nest of care, and then suddenly have to live without it.
Thanks so much for giving me another perspective, Certain Hope. Your words actually make me feel a bit more postvie about the situation with my mother in law. hugs to you!
Dear Bella,
I sat down to write a response to you and veered onto a completely different track.... and I'd like to try to put that into words. In trying to decide where to begin with my reply to you, I typed, "I'm glad to know that what I said helped you".
Well, you know how often people will say something just as a sort of stock phrase... or not say something because they don't want to "sound" this or that or the other way... ?
For most of my life, I'd get so caught up in all the various aspects of such non-dilemmas, that I'd wind up saying nothing at all. But when I typed that one sentence, I realized - I truly am glad... for you! And I'm glad for me, too... because it's becoming more clear to me that I'm no longer offering my thoughts and perspectives attached to a need to be understood, valued, or needed. When you've spent most of your life explaining and defending and "fixing", that's a monumental hurdle to leap. It seems that my sidetrack into codependency-education wasn't a sidetrack at all. My mother-in-law is the one who led me in that direction. She's what I lovingly refer to as a "peach".
Recently I told her of some of my endeavors and she wrote back with statements like, "You sound pleased! I'm pleased that you're pleased!!"
I read that and shook my head, mystified, but now - I think I get it!!
So - thank you for taking that little detour with me, Bella... and now, back to suffering.
I think of it as an addiction to "doing it (whatever 'it' is) the hard way"... as though somehow that makes "it" more pure, more holy, more... righteous.
That was my personal addiction.
My line of thought was something to the effect of... if it's difficult and painful, and I find it distasteful, then that must be God's will for my life.
It never occurred to me that it's possible to rest in the arms of the God who made me and loves me and wants nothing more than to be united to me for eternity, and let HIM be God, instead of me. That perspective certainly shines a different Light onto life in this troubled world!
And then, because I was such a loner, the energy and attention which reinforced my own vicious circle of suffering was not caring and compassion from others. I couldn't let any "others" in close enough to offer a hand, so...
it was all internal... because, to me, it was all about "doing the right thing". Since I thought the "right" thing was naturally the "difficult" thing, I continued to feed my own sense of self-righteousness by swallowing these great gulps of evil and trying somehow to struggle through the muck, instead of speaking the truth in love and allowing the muck to be washed away. Too bad I didn't have a clue that the "right thing" didn't mean dying to self... that there was already one death which covered it all.
It's funny, Bella... that cozy nest you mentioned... well, I can see now that I made my own. Each little twig and bit of fluff consisted of occasions where I did not confront something unacceptable... either in others or within myself.
I was my own victimizer and persecutor long before anyone else had an opportunity. Simultaneously, I held myself to my mother's standard of perfection, all the while refusing to hold anyone else (outwardly) to the same standard. Oh, I was bound and determined not to be like her. Hah! Thank God He was gracious enough to show me that if I didn't receive Him, I'd end up more like her than she is... a caracature.
Well, I hope this all makes some sense. Reading through it, that X up at the top right corner beckons... just close the box and skip the whole thing.
But there's been more than enough of that for one lifetime.
Hugs back to you, Bella. Just feeling that I could burst and wishing that I could put into words the difference between dying to self and denying self... but I can't quite... yet. All I know is that the sort of suffering I've endured could only have been prevented by my own choice, earlier on, to obey God instead of trying to be Him.
With love,
Hope
-
Its nice to hear from you again Certain Hope!
Yes, the bible is difficult to interpret by nature, and no doubt everyone interpets its messages according to where they are at. Certain Hope, you can only do your best and its sounds that your best came from a good place in your heart, and that you were doing what you felt was right. And I can definately see where you would get the idea that suffering is `righteous' or even something that is `meant to be'. In fact, I think that in many ways you were right all along, and that perhaps the only thing missing from the picture was knowing the right context to allow yourself to suffer. I feel that there is a difference between suffering because you are on the wrong path, and suffering because you're on the right one. In the latter scenario, your spirit should feel alive. In the former, it feels dead and the suffering is immeasurable.
X hugs Ceretain Hope. I'm enjoying hearing what you have to say:) Thakyou for sharing your thoughts with me.
-
Hey,
I've been browsing through these boards--not really sure what brought me here, but I definitely recognized my mother.
There was something said earlier that struck a chord. Something about how the one woman who feels like she is constantly rolling over for her husband needs to stop putting so much stock into what he thinks. Amen. You can be happy now. You can, no matter where you are, no matter the situation. God intends for you to be happy now, in this life. Think of how many times the apostle Paul links suffering with rejoicing in his letters. I know this is possible.
I too, have struggled with the idea of leaving or not, in certain relationships, and I think back to Jesus who didin't abandon Judas, of all people. He was so confident in himself and his mission that Judas' actions could not control him--and you will note that Judas punished himself, eventually. You be happy, you do what you need to to keep yourself and/or your children safe, and everything else will fall away on its own.
I think the key is that we have to know, absolutely, who we are, and that we are doing God's will--even if we can't see very far down the road--we know that we are listening and following and he will guide. This isn't coming out very clear.
I have come to a place where it doesn't matter what any N says or does or thinks, I know that God loves me, and I do whatever that peaceful feeling leads me to do. My motto has become "God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." I repeat that to myself and my children constantly.
If you have to make a choice--WHEN you have to make that choice, day after day, incident after incident, you make that choice using the intelligence God has blessed you with, and then you take it to Him, and you say "this is the best choice I could come up with, what do you think?" He will either give you a peaceful feeling (go ahead) or a stupor of thought (bad choice) or nothing at all. In my experience, Nothing at all means "I trust you, do whatever you think is best" and as you go along that path you deemed best, either the peaceful feeling will come, confirming your decision was right, or you will be warned to change direction before anything bad happens. Just remember that fear does not come from God. Don't make choices based on Fear.
I don't know how much sense that made.
Kacia