Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Hopalong on October 21, 2006, 09:46:17 AM
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I remember a time when I had an experience that really blew me away, and made me feel in touch with a collective unconscious, or something amazing that cannot be coincidence, or I have no idea what, but at least powerful sense of mystery past the day-to-day veil over things:
Once in my early 20s when I was having an intense panic attack, I kept seeing in my mind an image of something like a wheel, with a hub and spokes radiating out, and some golden matter between the spokes. As long as I focused on the golden stuff, I was able to breathe and stay calm. Much later, I read that some emergency rooms were giving massive doses of vitamin C to people who were hallucinating, to bring them down. I realized my brain had conjured up an image of a cross-section of an orange for me! :shock: Later still, I read in a Jung book about the mandala (same kind of image), and Jung said that children all over the world draw this image whenever they feel their psychic life is threatened.
At that time, when I was first shaking awake from the trance of my mother's dark side, I sure did.
Thought this kind of profound or unusual pyschic moment might be interesting to share.
Hops
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Nipping back
8) 8) 8)
the circle is the infinite
holding and comforting
http://www.mandalaproject.org/Mandalas/index_new.html
oh dear.... http://www.planetgong.co.uk/ now any street cred I had is completely lost to the ether! excellent :D :D :D
Hops have you seen the film Dark Star? With the alien on board which is in fact, a giant malevolent orange....which taps its little webbed feet with impatience when not fed? Very very funny film. Has a huge nuclear bomb on board that can think philosophy "they try to teach the bomb phenomenology to convince it not to explode on the basis that what he perceives as real may not truly be real. Doolittle exits the ship to talk directly to the bomb. The bomb returns to the bay, saying "I must think on this further." (the bomb comes to the conclusion that it is God). But I digress (just a bit eh.....)
Mandalas Love 'em 8)
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THE CIRCLE IS THE INFINITE HOLDING AND COMFORTING
One Christmas morning I awoke and was making breakfast for our little family before we were to head out to a bigger Christmas gathering at my father's home.
This Christmas was just after my sweet mom had passed away I was in the kitchen making eggs toast and orange juice .
And all of a sudden I felt my mother presence and felt golden light around me and then I smelled roses all around me the feeling of my mother was so wonderful and I did not have any roses in the house nor anything that could have been the reason for the intense smell of the roses .
I will never forget that Christmas.How to explain this I do not know but it is true.
I LOVE THE MANDALAS IN YOUR LINK PORTIA
Cool subject Hops 8) 8) 8)
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My most cosmic experience is a recurring one. Every time I hear Pink Floyd's Learning to Fly. I feel this song physically. I feel a tension in my chest when I hear:
"...to dream, unthreatened by the morning light
could blow this soul right through the roof of the night..."
and a soaring release of that tension and all inhibition at :
"there's no sensation to compare with this--
suspended animation, a state of bliss.
Can't keep my mind from the circling sky
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an Earth-bound misfit, I."
And I feel in my soul that indescribable Thing that can only be a Universal connection!!
The smile doesn't leave my face for quite awhile.
I also discovered that the beat of this song exactly matches my own heartbeat!
Now Cosmic is THAT!!!???
ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!!! :D :D :D
~dragonsamm~
and my email tag-line is from the same song: "...a soul in tension, that's learning to fly. Condition: grounded. But determined to try..."
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There's a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful movie about a dragon...I'm gonna go find it for you.
I hope you have a DVD player and will trust me on this one, pleeeeeez:
Just found it. Fer Pete's sake, it's SHREK. Loved it!!!!!!!
But you know, I am positive I saw another one recently...ooooo I remember, Sean Connery played the dragon's voice (the dragon was absolutely fantastically wonderful and loveable...):
DRAGONHEART.
Have you seen it, Dragonsamm?????? :D If not, do........
Hops
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Once in my early 20s when I was having an intense panic attack, I kept seeing in my mind an image of something like a wheel, with a hub and spokes radiating out, and some golden matter between the spokes. As long as I focused on the golden stuff, I was able to breathe and stay calm. Much later, I read that some emergency rooms were giving massive doses of vitamin C to people who were hallucinating, to bring them down. I realized my brain had conjured up an image of a cross-section of an orange for me! :shock: Later still, I read in a Jung book about the mandala (same kind of image), and Jung said that children all over the world draw this image whenever they feel their psychic life is threatened.
This is a beautiful image, and a very accessible means of healing. I feel very threatened at present, so will invest in some oranges, and put some in my living room and bedroom. And eat some. I am certain that when we have profound pain, God will offer the most apparently simple remedies to that pain; such as an orange. And perhaps as importantly, the symbolism of wholeness and completion which it represents, and which we all have inside, if we only dare to access it.
Thanks, Hops.
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And all of a sudden I felt my mother presence and felt golden light around me and then I smelled roses all around me the feeling of my mother was so wonderful and I did not have any roses in the house nor anything that could have been the reason for the intense smell of the roses .
I will never forget that Christmas.How to explain this I do not know but it is true.
What a truly beautiful story. I am sorry you have lost your mum, but what a beautiful mother to have had!
(If Nmum were to visit me in this way in years to come I would recognise her by the scent of fag ash, as usual. 8) )
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I'm so glad ((((October)))). And Moon, your mother's "visit" touches me (and I believe it).
Portia, have't seen the movie but it sounds fantastic...will put on my list.
Ohhhh let's put oranges and roses in our rooms and keep our senses in a place of joy...
For winter, especially, I love boiling orange peels and cinammon sticks and cloves....
(I don't like bought potpourri as it's just a buncha chemicals...)
Does anyone know other INEXPENSIVE sources of natural fragrance you can put in a room?
I'd love to do that. But those essential oils (not to mention roses) are pretty pricey!
thanks,
Hops
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Does anyone know other INEXPENSIVE sources of natural fragrance you can put in a room?
I'd love to do that. But those essential oils (not to mention roses) are pretty pricey!
Ages ago I read about sticking cloves into an orange, and tying ribbon round it, and hanging it up to scent a room. That might do, or any other citrus fruit maybe.
I like to open all the windows first thing in the morning, to blow air right through the house. If it has been raining, that is the most wonderful scent of all. And something I heard the other day - put tumble drier sheets behind radiators, to give scent every time the heating is on. I haven't done it yet, but if I remember, I will try it. Forgot the oranges as well, today. Not dealing with life very well, but it is Sunday, so that is allowed. I always try to go easy on Sundays, and have a day off, if such a thing is possible.
Another thing I heard, was putting loose instant coffee into the fridge for about half an hour when you clean it out, to make it smell nice. I am not sure what a fridge smelling of coffee would be like, but it was supposed to work. :?
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Thank you for the clove oranges reminder, October!!!
I'd love to do those for all over the house.
They make nice Xmas gifts too, pretty ribbon with some pins...
xo,
Hops
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Hi Hops
Had a few experiences after consuming the naturally-occurring fruits of the field, including seeing a spread-eagled male figure on the face of the low sun (how I didn’t burn my retinas out I don’t know). The brain produces some strange things that’s for sure. (note: Dark Star is definitely a hippy film).
Scents: I occasionally sniff the pure vanilla pods in the local shop (if they’re not sealed). Can you scent a room with one, anyone done that? I love real vanilla.
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OMG, pure vanilla....I'd love to know if that works for a whole room.
And I guess there's real vanilla extract on a cotton ball (except maybe that would stimulate appetite?) I hear peppermint suppresses it but I don't want a peppermint-room smell...
P, I'll check out Dark Star. I was an honorary hippie (more in the artsy-fartsy studious crowd) but I consumed a few things too...saw sound, heard light.
Hops
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If only you'd known Alexander Scriabin!
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I have had these experiences, but almost always while dreaming. My mother in law was going through treatment for advanced cancer and one night I had a dream that she was down a well, all alone, afraid, and couldn't get out. She was calling in vain for someone to help her out. It was so real and terrifying to experience her terror.
When I woke up I found out she had died alone during the night in her nursing home bed. She died about the same time I was having the dream.
Dandylife
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Dandylife
that must have shaken you terribly? It would have shaken me. (((((((((((Dandylife)))))))))
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Portia,
Yes, I don't want to get too far off topic, but it was very disturbing. I still feel guilty - for if I had gotten up as soon as I woke startled from the dream and made a phone call to check on her, perhaps she wouldn't have died alone?
Thanks for the hug,
Dandylife
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Hi Dandylife,
I hope you soon have a deeply peaceful, sweet dream full of beauty and surprise...
and that something about it appears wonderfully in your life.
(Perhaps your dream meant that on a level deeper than her fear, your MIL knew you were with her?)
Hops
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Hi
When my mom was in hospital no one knew she was going to pass away.
The night before she did I was up all night reading the Bible and praying and thinking of her all that night.
I went to see her and it was early in the morning and she said
"SWEETIE YOU MUST BE SO SLEEPY YOU WERE HERE WITH ME ALL NIGHT"
WOW I thought gee mom thought I was with her all night she felt me with her.
I believe she did feel my love.
Moon
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About the oranges:
Last year I saw a work friend eating an orange on her break. I watched her as she made an incredible mess with the orange. "E" was taking each section and peeling away not only the white rind parts left after peeling it but also the membrane that holds in all those tiny "glands" that make up the orange. Juice was all over her hands and membrane bits all over her paper towel. I asked her why she was eating the orange that way and she told me it tasted better that way and that her mother always prepared oranges for her like this when she was growing up.
I was shocked to learn of this. My mother never went to any trouble at all for me. I couldn't ever imagine her fixing an orange for me like that just so it would taste better. "E" had me try a section to prove that it was better and she was right. It was so sweet. I usually avoid oranges as they taste bitter to me. But that must be the membrane and white stuff that tastes bitter.
So, I have occasionally bought oranges and peeled them and then got a paper towel and dismantled the sections like E's mother did for her when she was little. I figure I am being my own mother when I do this. It is worth the trouble and the mess.
Not so very cosmic, but oranges do have a certain significance to me now.
Pennyplant
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Penny dear,
It is so wonderful that you decided to make those special oranges for yourself.
That is such a sign of wholeness.
I don't remember loving motherly food treats (though Mom sewed me lovely clothes) from Mom.
But my Dad used to make me eggnogs whenever I was sick in bed...with nutmeg sprinkled on top.
It's a happy memory.
Hops
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Hopalong,
Thanks for your thoughts - I was close to my mother in law all through our relationship - she was my 2nd mom - I married VERY young. (a week after turning 18). And then when she was dying she pretty much shut me out of the process and only wanted her "real kids" around, which of course I was very hurt by. But I always felt we had a huge connection which I felt the very first time I saw her.
Anyway, thanks for your thoughts. I like to believe there is some connection at some point between living and dying where there is communication or some kind of pathway.
Thanks for starting this thread, it's been a real memory jolt.
dandylife
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Portia,
Thanks for posting the mandala project.
Just beautiful. Anybody can make one. I would like to make one, too. Maybe Granny Squares are mandalas. I always loved Granny Square afghans and have made a few myself.
Planet Gong--looks like fun! Fun is always good.
Pennyplant