Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: IamNewtoMe on November 08, 2006, 08:26:12 AM
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What is your very first reaction to the following scenario:
You are sitting in a room full of people.
The room is quiet, and you are all observing a person standing in front of the room.
That person takes a piece of paper, calmly wads up the paper, and simply drops it to the floor.
What is your first thought?
My friend recently told me about this exercise, and I thought folks here might find it interesting, too. My friend grew up in an abusive home. Her first thought was "not good enough". She heard this a lot when growing up and didn't realize how much she internalized it.
My first reaction was to say nothing, but to go over and pick that paper up Quick!, before the powers that be noticed, became dissatisfied, and all heck broke loose. This also reflects dynamics in my FOO.
This exercise is so interesting to me. Wadded paper on the floor is so neutral (it could mean anything or nothing), but it allows our non-neutral (meaningful) thoughts to come out.
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Oh, Portia, I'm so sorry you are hurting. I don't know why I thought this "neutral " exercise would be actually be neutral. I hope it does not cause you too much pain.
I am listening if you want to talk.
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First thought, I'm worthless.
Second thought it reminded me of a time when I was working and gave a customer a reciept. He rolled it up in his hand and tossed it on the counter.
His message "I"m to good to need a reciept." I felt humiliated.
(((Portia))) I'm listening too.
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Posted by: Portia
Insert Quote
"worthless" - were you the paper? Yes.
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Portia and Seasons ,
You are glorious (((((((((((Portia))))))))))))))) (((((((((((((((((((((((((((seasons)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
My first thought was the guy was going to speak and read from the paper and then changed his mind.
meaning: my father disowned me the paper was about me (I was not the paper) and relationship with him .Now I am not taking it personally.
love from moon
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My first thought is: The person in the front of the room should pick the piece of paper up and put it in the wastebasket. How dare he/she litter the room in such a fashion. After all, I am expected to place my rubbish in the wastebasket, am I not?
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My first thought -
What an arrogant ass! What! To good to throw it away, expecting someone else to clean up after them. PUNK!
Really exposes my anger towrds those who do stupid things. Two years ago I would have ignored the person after this, Now I would go and ask "why did you just do that?" I would want to confront the person - not for anger sake - but for informational purposes - I have learned that every action comes from a reaction. And I want to know - what and why. Deputy Dog - that's me!
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My first thought was, oh, I'm being manipulated--this person is doing something out of the ordinary just to get my attention. Why can't he just start talking and tell us what he wants to tell us? I don't have to be manipulated into listening, that is what I came here for. And yes, I pictured a guy. I do sound pretty untrusting. Boy, that would explain a lot.....
Pennyplant
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First thought was, what was on the paper? Then the questions were - Was it blank? Did it contain information that they didn't care to read? Who was it from? Did they write on it and not want to give it to someone? Why discard it in such a careless fashion? Litterbug.
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Physics class.
So help me, that's my first thought.
I'm expecting him to drop an unwadded sheet next, watch it float gently down, and then talk about air resistance and terminal velocity - and the fact that the sheet and the paper wad would drop at exactly the same rate in a vacuum!
Sorry - once a nerd, always a nerd - !!!!!
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One Trick Pony
He's a one trick pony
One trick is all that horse can do
He does one trick only
It's the principal source of his revenue
And when he steps into the spotlight
You can feel the heat of his heart
Come rising through
See how he dances
See how he loops from side to side
See how he prances
The way his hooves just seem to glide
He's just a one trick pony (that's all he is)
But he turns that trick with pride
He makes it look so easy
He looks so clean
He moves like God's
Immaculate machine
He makes me think about
All of these extra movements I make
And all of this herky-jerky motion
And the bag of tricks it takes
To get me through my working day
One-trick pony
He's a one trick pony
He either fails or he succeeds
He gives his testimony
Then he relaxes in the weeds
He's got one trick to last a lifetime
But that's all a pony needs
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'Pick it up' ( I say that )
Then I stop to look at the person ( man ) and wonder why he did that and try to see his face?
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I decided to write my first thought before I read others':
The person is a teacher.
What is s/he trying to demonstrate?
I'm interested.
Hops
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I want to answer before I read the other replies... But I caught Portia's out of the corner of my eye... The person for me is a good-looking young man. It pisses me off big time that he dropped the paper and I know he won't pick it up. He thinks he is better than everyone else. Or it could be a test of some kind. There is something I am supposed to do...
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My first thought:
same as Hops--he/she is going to demonstrate/explain/define something. I'm intrigued.
????????????
~dragonsamm~
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My first thought "What the heck did he/she do that for?" I'd probably eventually want to watch more of the nonverbals of the person to find out if something was bothering them, but I sure would not have the first thought be anything about my worthlessness or worthiness. The dropping of the paper was that person's choice, having nothing to do with me.
I think the hardest thing for abused people to overcome, is realizing that what others do, has NOTHING necessarily to do with them...another person's actions are separate from you, meaning you did not cause them, provoke them, encourage them. That person just wanted to drop the paper on the floor, so they did. PERIOD. It most likely has NOTHING to do with you or anyone in that room, unless we are given further data proving that someone or something somehow provoked it.
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I think KNOWING that ind INTERNALIZING that are two different things, Laura. I so wish I could react in that way... separate myself from people's behavior!!!