Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Gaining Strength on December 05, 2006, 08:15:32 PM
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I am interested in what you think about The Law of Attraction which one website defined as, "The simple point is that you get what you focus on in life. You get the types of experiences that you consistently think about, that you feel you're likely to get, that you expect and that you believe in. You attract to you that which you're emanating. "
Are there some of you who believe this or some variation of this? Are there skeptics out there?
I like the concept. I'm not sure how to get my "unconscious" thoughts in line. What do you think?
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I am skeptical.
I do believe that when I put out positive energy the universe seems a more positive place, and vice versa.
But I don't believe in personal power that can literally affect external events.
Then again, mysterious things happen around prayer.
(Not my prayers. But on occasion when others have told me they've prayed for me.)
Hops
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Sure, my wife sat around focused on getting breast cancer and the rest of us all wondered how we might bring some lunatics into our orbits to turn our lives upside down.
Mark me down as a skeptic.
I do believe in the power of prayer, but I give the credit there to the Fellow upstairs, not to any mind rays emanting from my cranium.
mud
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A good friend just gave me a DVD called THE SECRET. It's a program about the law of attraction, and features folks like Neale Donald Walsch and "Chicken Soup" Jack Canfield talking about this topic and how they've used this "law." I found the program hokey and belabored, and remained skeptical about the idea that we can simply concentrate on what we want and see it manifest. This link (and too many experiences with self-entitled Ns who believe they deserve many things they do NOT, and also should not be expected to contribute to our wish fulfillment) supported that skepticism: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/08/the-law-of-attraction/
Having said all that, I then held an experiment. I had been unable to find some favorite pieces of jewelry for nearly a year, and was eager to enjoy them again. I considered this law and then drew pictures of jewelry that I had "lost," and put them by my night table about a week ago. I looked at the drawings and concentrated on these objects before bed, and kept them in my mind during the day. A few days later, I found the beautiful necklace a dear friend gave me ... and all the other missing pieces in succession. The success of the experiment did not turn me into a rabid convert, but (with the help of yet another friend), I do recognize that mental powers of visualization, persistence and benevolent intent carry energies of their own.
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I think that everyone should be able to find some common denominator in the statement..... "what you fear will find you." Self fulfilling prophesies are all around us... sometimes happening to us. Sometimes it's just bad luck or genetics.... but sometimes, it's not.
IMO, there is a connection between what we think and what happens to us. Sometimes we don't want to see it. Sometimes we can't see it until much later in our lives.
If you think back about what you were doing when you met an N then cultivated a relationship with them..... you'll most likely see that there were clues as to his behavior. If we choose to ignore them..... then we have something we need to figure out about ourselves.... at least on some level. Tremusan
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Beyond the "law of attactraction".....(WHICH WOULD INDICATE OPPOSITES)........ there is a place where all is love .......................
MAYBE THAT IS A PLACE IN ONES HEART WHERE LOVE ,ACCEPTANCE AND PEACE ARE FOUND.
But using powers to attracting an outcome I do not believe this .
Being strong for self and others and directing one's help where needed is a good thing .
Also that would include an understanding good thoughts improve one's life.
Under any circumstances.
LOVE TO ALL
MoonLight
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Well said, Tremusan. When (and not if) those discoveries come, they may not be pleasant, but they are vital.
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Well said, Tremusan. When (and not if) those discoveries come, they may not be pleasant, but they are vital.**
If we focus our energy...... we accomplish more than if our thoughts are swinging around wildly, like a monkey in a tree. It makes sense that.... if we focus on negative things..... if we focus on positive things..... we will probably get more of it.
We make choices every day..... about how we'll let external forces affect us. We can cultivate coping strategies and problem solving skills. We can choose to ask ourselves why someone cut us off in traffic, for instance...... or why someone was rude, etc.... instead of letting them transfer those feelings of aggression to us. We can just be glad that we aren't having a bad day or dealing with whatever is bothering them.
For some it's natural to question their own motives and actions. For others... it's not. I think it's necessary to grow and learn from our history. ::shrug:: Lona
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Wow! Hi All!
Glad to see the board up and running again! Thanks Dr. G!
Re: The law of attraction
I don't see it as some magical mysterious magnetic management technique in my life but I do believe firmly in the power of the mind. The idea to me means positive mental effort helps propel us toward our goals (and bad nasty negative thinking can trip us up....block us from achieving goals).
The simple point that you get what you focus on in life rings true for me. If I focus on ugly junk, my life feels pretty ugly. If I look for the good stuff, my life seems better to me. That doesn't necessarily mean it is, I guess. It does however, help me tolerate it alot better than when I can't see anything attractive about it.
You get the types of experiences that you consistently think about, that you feel you're likely to get, that you expect and that you believe in. You attract to you that which you're emanating.
I guess I'm on the fence re the above. On the one hand, when I think positive, believe, hope and expect good outcomes, I certainly cannot miss them when they arrive. The trouble starts when I do all of that and it doesn't work out the way I'd thought/hoped/prayed it would.
There again, I can do one of two things. I can say: "What's the use?" or I can revise what I want, try a different approach or glean what golden threads of knowledge the experience taught me and move along to something else. It is all up to me. It's just another reaction, I think. A choice.
Sometimes, I choose to see it as that and other times, I feel weak and give that power to others/circumstances/luck. I do try not to put the responsibility on the Guy upstairs because I really think He has bigger fish to fry. I'm merely a grain of sand. Or salt. Or dust or something. Just snuff me outta your nose if I'm up there, by the way. :mrgreen:
So if I think about something hard enough, positively enough, frequently enough, and with as many good vibes as my poor one functioning brain cell can buzz out....will I get what I want or what I am trying to attract? I might. I might not. The thing is I probably won't get it....highly unlikely......if I don't try. But it could happen. Stuff does.
It does seem like more flies come around when my toast has honey on it......more than when there's vinegar dripping off my tongue. Hmmmm? That's only useful if one likes flies, however.
Ahhhhh. It feels good to think out loud. Thanks for this thread.
:D Sela
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I'm a bit skeptical when it comes to metaphysical stuff...especially where all forms of child abuse and neglect is concerned. No child wishes or wants THAT! :(
Bones
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Two edged sword time.
Yes, perseverance and focus can bring great things into one's life. Prayer is amazing.
But serendipity can also play a role.
And there's its opposite, affliction.
Did Job request his testing? I think not. Nor did I, nor did most of us. [Edit in: I'm morally certain that his children, livestock, and servants who were all killed didn't volunteer for their parts...]
If we deny the role of luck, of chance, of grace, of the miraculous, we retain the illusion of total control over events. Isn't that magical thinking?
And if we really did have such control, wouldn't we all long ago have used it to make our parents and other Ns capable of loving, our alcoholic and drug addicted loved ones clean and sober, and the world as a whole more just?
Now there's an experiment I wouldn't mind participating in at all!
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AWWWWWWWWWW
STORMY
You are so cracking me up I will sign up for that experiment.
Job indeed was a brave one to volunteer lol for what he went though ....... enough was enough
Thinking of Job will straighten out anyone's pity party..
BLESSINGS TO YOU
LOVE TO YOU
And Iris the fetch kitty kat says meow
moonlight
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OK. I think I got what I might have expected. There is no question that Job, children abused, people with debilitating diseases do not sit around focusing on receiving these wretched situations to come into their lives. I agree with you all whole heartedly.
On the other hand - while I did not look to be brought into a family that didn't, couldn't nurture and that did - unconsciously and still denies - put me down incessantly, nonetheless, I did take out into the world my fears of being rejected and my resentment for being treated differently. I took these expectations out into the world unconsciously. Until recently I was in denial about my own approach to life. Now that I can see how I experienced my family life and how it colored everything I did later I can begin to alter my approach.
Being afraid of ANYTHING is difficult to change. Try telling a child not to be afraid of the dark. Fear rarely responds to rational conversation. Fear of being left out or rejected ironically engenders behavior that leads to the very thing most feared. There is no way out - except to let go of the fear. Well that usually takes some kind of nurturing, security and love and if you life is short of these things then how do you conquer fear?
Ultimately, to change my path I must get to these unconscious fears so that I can expose them. That has to be the first step. And then I can apply some variant of the "Law of Attraction" by which I mean try to counter my fears by focusing on what I want rather than what I fear.
From my own experience most of what holds me back are suppressed fears. But why bring them to the surface unless there is something I can do about them and overcoming them with something positive is a goal that motivates me.
I do believe that acknowledging my fears and focusing on the opposite can slowly begin to change my path. Any thoughts or comments on this aspect of the "Law of Attraction"?
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I think I agree with Stormy on this one. Serendipity is part of life. Time and chance happen to all men, as Solomon said.
We can conquer whatever fears we might have and emanate the most trusting, trustable and positive nature to others, but we still have no assurance that we won't just as likely attract a counterfeit of a decent person as the genuine article. Who is more attracted to a sweet, trusting soul than an N or some other PD type?
Having said all that, I have to admit that a confident, contented person does increase his/her odds of attracting somebody similar, if for no other reason than stable people with sound judgement usually recognize and avoid troubled people.
I think maybe, the value of conquering fear is not that we might receive an external award, but that we have taken care of what we are responsible for and what we can change, and the rest is up to fate. And if fate deals us another bad hand, at least we are prepared to deal with it rather than curl up like a burnt feather.
mud
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I think maybe, the value of conquering fear is not that we might receive an external award, but that we have taken care of what we are responsible for and what we can change, and the rest is up to fate. And if fate deals us another bad hand, at least we are prepared to deal with it rather than curl up like a burnt feather.
To achieve the ability to face another bad hand and NOT curl up like a burnt feather would be a vast improvement in my life. To no longer face or fear paralyzing anxiety would give me a new life. That is an awful lot.
Thanks Mudpuppy.
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I am interested in what you think about The Law of Attraction which one website defined as, "The simple point is that you get what you focus on in life. You get the types of experiences that you consistently think about, that you feel you're likely to get, that you expect and that you believe in. You attract to you that which you're emanating. "
Are there some of you who believe this or some variation of this? Are there skeptics out there?
I like the concept. I'm not sure how to get my "unconscious" thoughts in line. What do you think?
I am a sceptic. This is a variation on the theme of blaming the victim for the crime, imo. Bad things happen to good people all the time; we do not bring it down on our own heads, whether consciously or not.
Positive thinking can be a good thing, but as I have said elsewhere it can also be a bad thing. The trick is to achieve realistic thinking, where you recognise damage as damage, and nurturing as nurturing, and no longer confuse the two through some misguided attempt at forced optimism.
I do believe in the power of prayer, but I do not think that prayer should include any kind of magical thinking, where if I only do this, or say that, or force myself to feel in a particular way, then certain results will follow. That is attempting to control the universe by coercion, and that is not what prayer is all about, imo. Prayer is about connecting with the deity, and finding strength and love from doing that. It is about trusting that deity to do what he or she has to do, and not pre-empting his or her role.
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To achieve the ability to face another bad hand and NOT curl up like a burnt feather would be a vast improvement in my life. To no longer face or fear paralyzing anxiety would give me a new life. That is an awful lot.
Thanks Mudpuppy.
I would change the image on this one. Instead of the feather curling up, and basically being dead and useless, we need another curling up picture. Maybe that of a person who curls up to sleep every night, but then wakes in the morning, not dead, not useless, but strong and refreshed, and ready to face another day. Even if it does bring paralysing anxiety, there is always that bed to curl up in and hide for a while, and grow strong once more.
Like the snowdrops hiding under my lawn at the moment, waiting for the frost and snow to come and go, and then to emerge into the world, as the first heralds of spriing. They look so fragile, and yet they come through when the snow is still on the ground, and cope with extreme cold. Maybe that is like you, Mudpuppy. Some people are peonies and can only cope with June and July. But you are a snowdrop.
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Hi October,
I'm afraid I'm more like crabgrass. It's probably just my mule-like stubborness, but I seem to be an all-season weed, as my antagonist is finding out to his regret.
mud
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edit
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I THINK this goes along with this idea (and, by the way, I learned a new word... had to look up serendipity... have heard it a thousand times but never knew what it meant).
At any rate... When I got sober the first time, I realized that when I looked around I saw good things and that there was a LOT to be thankful for. When I went back to my old ways, those signs and happy reminders were not there. Now as I "trudge the path" I truly am amazed that things do work out... maybe not the way I anticipated, but for the best all around. I do believe that I am receptive to these ideas and I ask for them.
And then there's a little voice inside of me that says it's a bushel of baloney...
But mostly I believe that there is good that finds its way to me because I am looking for it.
Took me days to reply... had to really ponder this one.
Love, Beth
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I THINK this goes along with this idea (and, by the way, I learned a new word... had to look up serendipity... have heard it a thousand times but never knew what it meant).
At any rate... When I got sober the first time, I realized that when I looked around I saw good things and that there was a LOT to be thankful for. When I went back to my old ways, those signs and happy reminders were not there. Now as I "trudge the path" I truly am amazed that things do work out... maybe not the way I anticipated, but for the best all around. I do believe that I am receptive to these ideas and I ask for them.
And then there's a little voice inside of me that says it's a bushel of baloney...
But mostly I believe that there is good that finds its way to me because I am looking for it.
Took me days to reply... had to really ponder this one.
Love, Beth
:-) Maybe good can find its way to you because you are able to recognize it and welcome it. :-)
Yay Beth, glad you were able to talk to your husband on TG day too. Any chance of posting that picture of Henry? [this is from a different thread].
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CB123 - I read about CBT on another forum and am curious about it thanks for mentioning that site.
In my recovery from anxiety and emotional paralysis I am identifying the sources of my fear and learning to recognize the
physiological signs of anxiety so I can head it off at the pass. As soon as I realize that what I'm experiencing is fear, I am now
able to recognize what it emanates from so I can reason with myself and understand why it is actually a brain misfunction rather than
something to be feared. I go on to convincing myself that I am getting better and that rather than fear the way my life is now that I must begin to PLAN how to make things better.
This sounds so obvious and simplistic but this is the first time in my life that the feelings of dread don't overtake my hope or my
optomism. I actually remember being taught to be afraid by my father, "You better wipe that smile off your face." What an odd thing for a parent to say to a child. (I find myself frequently trying to encourage my child to smile and be happy.)
Fearing rejection fed my resentment, my resentment fed my sarcastic voice and my sarcastic voice drove people away. Voila! I was rejected. I am not going to live that way any more.
When I find my resentment and jealousy creeping up I just turn it around by saying, "I wish I had that in my life. I am going to choose to be glad that they have it. I hope to have it one day." That "it" can be anything from a loving relative, to a job or a friend or a lifestyle - absolutely anything. By being glad someone has something it immediately squelches my resentment and jealousy and I am better for it and feel better for it immediatelly.
This is the sort of thing that I take out of the Law of Attraction. I am not interested in blaming myself or anyone for any tradgedy or pain nor do I think the cosmos owes me any riches, but I do believe that love is a powerful entity that we all need and that we all deserve and it is love that I long for and long to give and that is what I hope to attract and so I want to learn how to give.
That is what I want from some cosmic force.
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Hi October,
I'm afraid I'm more like crabgrass. It's probably just my mule-like stubborness, but I seem to be an all-season weed, as my antagonist is finding out to his regret.
mud
If you want to be crabgrass, then go for it. Just don't be that burnt up old feather! :lol:
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Mr Mud Sir ,
I admire Crabgrass for its steadfast quality......
moonlight :D
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CouldBe123
I appreciate your post and I admire your courage.
Each and every day I face anxieties that I don't understand, but for the first time in my life I am aware of them and can refocus on some positive aspect and actually change what is going on. One of the things that I refocus on is how much better I am getting, how much stronger I am becoming.
This morning I sat in church wrapped up tightly in a thick coat snuggled in among hundreds of parents as our children presented Lessons and Carols. It was a beautiful service and yet time and again I would find myself starting to panic and I would catch myself slipping into a sadness of the season with my memories floating back to my life growing up and the anxiety heightened against the image of what Christmas should be. But my father, so stern and so negative and anxiety provoking would always create a crisis as we prepared to attend a Christmas event. He would cause a crisis and blame it on one of the children or my mother and we would go along with him and blame whom ever he pointed the finger at. He would with quiet severity make someone cry. It was awful but it was supposed to be wonderful. So Christmas holds that terrible combination for me.
Some of what you have written about your husband reminds me very much of my father. My mother is still sorry that my father left her almost 20 years ago. She shouldn't be, but she doesn't understand. You life and your children's lives will be much better. It may not seem so now and it may take time but you will get to the other side. You have the fortitude though I have said more than once that I wish I weren't strong enough to get through but once you are through the storm life will blossom for you and my prayers are with you and your children during this difficult time.
yours - Gaining Strength