Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: gratitude28 on December 10, 2006, 11:56:16 PM
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OMG... Just when I think she couldn't be more of a pain in the ass or crazier...
So, my way of 'having a relationship' with my mom is to meet her on a gamesite we play on and play and chat a couple times a week. That way I talk to her, noncommittal and all is surface and easy. Well, today she says she wants to go to a Private room... So I go... ask what's up... She says she has something to ask me and 'doesn't want me to get mad." I am already going, huh? And truthfully, I am already feeling a bit irritated... So she asks, 'Are you and your husband having problems?' Double huh???????? So I ask her where in the world that came from? And I tell her we are closer than ever.
Deep down I start to feel as I did before (I had to push these feelings away)... that I had 'done something wrong.' Her insinuation, I am sure, was that I was not faithful or some such thing? I don't know.
She said she hoped I wasn't mad at her for asking. SO I told her no I wasn't mad, but I thought it was a strange thing to ask me. So I asked her if everyone else was OK and she says yes mysister and her husband seem happy... (Yeah, right, just last week my sister said he has spent about a month away to go hunting... they have been married 4 years and lived together about 5 months of the marriage... nice deal for him, wouldn't you say?).
So... was she fishing for some argument? Or some emotional exchange? Or what? I just told her last week he and I planned vacation when we got back and planned to spend time alone together as well. And my dad just wrote him a lovely letter which my husbband forwarded to me.
Clues???????
Love, Beth
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Hi Beth:
So... was she fishing for some argument? Or some emotional exchange? Or what?
Who knows? Trying to push your buttons maybe? Does it really matter? I think you handled her wonderfully!
Deep down I start to feel as I did before (I had to push these feelings away)... that I had 'done something wrong.' Her insinuation, I am sure, was that I was not faithful or some such thing? I don't know.
Maybe this is why the interchange is nagging at your mind? Her insinuation. Humph!! Who cares?
She's out to lunch anyhow right?
I think you did a good job by pushing those inadequate feelings away. It sure seems like you're taking good care of you and good for you for posting about it too!
Like you, the crazy making abilities of some people never ceases to amaze me. I'm so glad you didn't take her insinuation to heart and get into it with her.
That's great progress Beth
:D Sela
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Thanks Sela!!!!
Yes, I was thinking that overall I was a lot less bothered by it than I would have been before. My husband and I had a laugh over it. And I think I know part of it... If she were in my position, she would cry to everyone she knew about how difficult things were for her. I don't do that. I make it through each day and enjoy the kids and do what I can to make his time pass happily there. She still compares the one 6-week deployment to the tons and tons of times we have spent apart and says she "understands" what it is like for me... you all know the drill... they know everything.
Thanks again for taking time to answer.
Love, Beth
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Bravo, bright Beth.
And...what she said (Sela).
wise wise wise
Hops