Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: penelope on December 12, 2006, 08:52:19 AM
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Here is a new bullying story, but it doesn't involve my now old (yeah!) boss.
I was working in another area of our plant yesterday and I observed someone being bullied quite loudly and aggressively by their boss. They were being yelled at, and spoken to in a condescending manner, interrupted, and challenged "to just leave if they didn't like it!" The male employee who was being bullied looked like he was going to cry. I kept thinking that this exchange could have happened in the bosses' office, out of earshot of me and a few others in the room, and didn't need to involve yelling and verbal abuse.
Well, needless to say I was shocked/scared.
What to do? My mind was racing, I couldn't concentrate on my work. I left and went to our Human Resources website (again) to review our policies on Harassment/Bullying to figure out what I should do. Oddly, the other ~4 or 5 people in the room had nervously ignored what was going on - I found it impossible to ignore, though.
I finally decided to email the fellow and just volunteer that I would back him up if he needed it. I also said "I'm not sure if I need to report this or not.."
The catch 22 is that our policy is that if you observe something like this you Must report it. But in doing so, what if that makes it worse for all? (now HR has to do something - I didn't want this employee to get fired) Anyway, I ended up letting my boss know what I saw, saying "I felt I should report this because I had to."
Later, I started doubting whether I imagined the whole thing (and fearing people would think I made it up! my stupid self doubt coming to the surface again!)..and was relieved when the guy finally did respond to my email and he agreed that the behavior violated our Mutual Respect policy.
He asked me to just jot down what I remembered, in case he ever needed me to explain to HR what I saw. He said that this was not the first time his boss had spoken to him in this manner, but that he had not been keeping track - and needed to. He thought the other people he worked with would be too afraid to say anything against their boss, if HR approached them.
Well - was I having flashbacks to my own situation!
Anyway, hopefully this will have a happy ending.
I know that our policy is to report this, but in my own experience, people did not respond well to me pointing out that bosses are routinely bullying subordinates, saying "well, maybe they deserved it..". I think this is such a cop-out for Doing nothing.
crazy. In a recent survey our management sent out, regarding Management, I answered honestly, although a lot of people at work are afraid to do so, since no one believe the surveys are anonymous. They asked us several questions about our direct managers and whether they were "supportive" and "positive." Since I still worked for my old boss, I rated him the lowest, "Do Not Agree" and commented that there is too much bullying in general at this place. After writing that, I feared/wondered if I had imagined it. Yesterday reinforced that I made the right decision to point this out, as it seems it's not limited to my old department, this problem is like a plague!
bean
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Penelope
I admire you for the way you handled the situation at work. I think you are correct to worry about the consequences for reporting the abuse. but you have made yourself available to the other employee if he needs you and you have spoke to your own supervisor. Those are important steps to offer your support and still protect yourself. You did the right thing. Be proud. - GS
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Penelope,
The work situation is tricky for sure.
... imagine what that guy that was attacked was thinking later on...he was feeling bad about himself, thinking maybe it was justified behavior and that he was in the wrong, and all the other thoughts that plague a person after being abused....
by you letting him know that he was being attacked and you saw it and didn't think it was right will give him perhaps courage to speak up the next time, to know that yes He was attacked and it wasn't justified...
By emailing him you're also laying a foundation - perhaps beginning a network of the abused that can strike back when the timing is right...
Maybe you guys should start recording these attacks and "anonymously" sending them to the big boss...Or bring the big boss around during one of these tirades....or using psychology on the abusers....(everytime you get yelled out - pass out or throw up on his shoes... or fall down and go into convulsions...) or try using your voice - yell back, walk away, etc. (I once got yelled at and I had had enough and I told the abuser " If I knew what you knew then I would have YOUR job!" - It shut him down and He actually respected me from then on)
Use your brain and be careful!!
MrT
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Couldbe123,
Good Job! It feels good to stand up to injustice and I applaud you
Mr T
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Dear penelope/bean and CouldBe123:
You two are real heroes. You faced aggression calmly, firmly, intelligently, assertively. It takes real guts to respond as you two did, and to follow through as well. Thank you for setting an example!
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Bean, wow that was very brave of you. Hats off for not being a by stander.
CouldBe123, Bravo to you too!
I wonder how many people will be effected by this post and respond differently because of it, I hope many of us. :)
Best of luck Bean.
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Ohhhh totally flipper-smackin' woo-HOO to you two!
:D
I am so proud to know you!
YEE-haw!
(These tales really do make an ex-bullying victim feel good.)
hugs,
Hops