Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: seastorm on January 11, 2007, 02:44:46 AM

Title: Easy does it
Post by: seastorm on January 11, 2007, 02:44:46 AM

I am writing to say that the advice to go through the pain and learn to fly on your own is really good advice. It works.
I have been going through hell trying to beat my addiction to my N partner who I thought I could not live without.After nearly three months of clinging on by my fingernails I finally have some peace.
What Helped??
Coming to the board and expressing my feelings and telling my story
Knowing that others had been through the same thing
Coming to know the others and realizing how wonderful they were
Realizing that it was not all my fault
Learning about narcissists and the dynamics of relationship
Learning that they will turn on you and try to destroy you if you try to leave them
Understanding that I am repeating a pattern that started with Mom
Seeing the humour in the situation
Finding my voice and telling my story to people who care
Setting boundaries and having NO CONTACT

I may not be in this state of healing and grace for long but it sure is a relief.

Love to you all,
Sea storm

Title: Re: Easy does it
Post by: Hopalong on January 11, 2007, 07:25:54 AM

And imagine how much hope your posts will give to a newbie
who comes here in a while, totally smashed with pain over an N,
and she reads Sea's story...

Passing it forward.

Sea, you're awesome.

Hops

Title: Re: Easy does it
Post by: sandra on January 11, 2007, 09:13:34 AM

Seastorm

Thank you so much for you post. you are and inspiration and it has given me hope for my future without my N husband.

thanks a million

Sandra x

Title: Re: Easy does it
Post by: Gaining Strength on January 12, 2007, 09:00:46 PM

What great news seastorm.  So glad you have a reprieve.  I hope it lasts long and that you learn and grow while in the safety of comfort and understanding.  I'm sorry you've had to suffer so.

Thanks for sharing your good news - GS

Title: Re: Easy does it
Post by: WRITE on January 12, 2007, 09:16:10 PM

Good news SS! And thanks for all the great advice you've given to me. You say you are cynical, but sometimes it's just what I need with my manic Pollyanna-ish carrying-on!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Title: Re: Easy does it
Post by: isittoolate on January 12, 2007, 10:36:54 PM

WTG seastorm

You were the first person, I think, to reply to my initial post and I felt you were so full of wisdom that I would follow you anywhere. Meanwhille, after being so comforting to me, you were going through an N experience.

Oh how happy I am to see your No contact decision.
Love Izzy

(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)

Title: Re: Easy does it
Post by: seastorm on January 13, 2007, 02:05:10 AM

Hey Izzy

Thanks for the kind feedback. Not a good idea to follow me these days though. I am wobbling and backtracking and going around with a sack on my head.
I talked to my exN today and it was confusing. He is depressed: no home, no job, Lady in Calgary wants to wait a year and see what happens, and no Me.  I felt sorry for him. I got all tangled up in pity. How soon I forget he was really quite ready to throw me to the wolves. In the last year I have developed arthritis in my knees. This your he took up hiking.
He was threatening to cancel our deal if I don't have the lawyer and the settlement by Feb 15. I asked him what he meant and he said , "oh we woruld have to rethink the deal". I asked for clarification. It is IMPOSSIBLE to get a straight answer out of him. He just cannot speak without forked tongue. I didn't believe anything he said.
It is good to know what a Narcississt is.
I have calmed down and don't feel too off balance.
You know something. I do have all the answers. I just don't listen to myself. My heart takes me to some pretty wild and crazy places.

Hugs,

Sea storm