Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on February 23, 2007, 06:36:57 PM
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Hi all!! Most of you know that I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for a job I originally interviewed for right around Thanksgiving. I have had 4 interviews and I know a couple of the managers really want me..............but, with every conversation with this company I usually wait a couple of weeks between conversations. I feel like I am on the longest voicemail quagmire or a dream that I cannot wake up from. Have you ever had a dream and when it was just about to be resolved, the alarm rings and the outcome never happens? Well, my life feels like that. I check my voicemail hourly. I check my email. Over and over and over again. I emailed the last person I interviewed with a week ago today........................and told her I couldn't wait until I met with the new DM and new RVP................no response...........
Slow Mo! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMoooooooooooooooooooooooo
Running in sand. Running in mud. TICK TOCK...........................................................................TICK TOCK....................................................................
Life on hold..................................................cannot make plans......................................................have stuff to do but can't do it.......................Drs. appointments, dermatology appointments, makeup parties, join the gym, get the hell out of work with nmom.........................................................never ending dream I cannot wake up from!
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Hi (((Kell)))
Oh that's just awful for you ........... I check my voicemail hourly. I check my email. Over and over and over again
surprised you have any hair left ............ have you? :)
You are literally on tenderhooks all the time ..... waiting and a wondering.
Suppose you could always join the gym ........ and wear out the treadmill !!
Seems an unusually long period of time regarding the company's decision making process .... must have a procrastination problem !!
Thinking of you,
Leah
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Hi kell
Just forget about it entirely--totally--for all time, and live!!
Then you will receive a call just as you have shaved your head!!
Izzy
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Hi all!! Most of you know that I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for a job I originally interviewed for right around Thanksgiving. I have had 4 interviews and I know a couple of the managers really want me..............but, with every conversation with this company I usually wait a couple of weeks between conversations. I feel like I am on the longest voicemail quagmire or a dream that I cannot wake up from. Have you ever had a dream and when it was just about to be resolved, the alarm rings and the outcome never happens? Well, my life feels like that. I check my voicemail hourly. I check my email. Over and over and over again. I emailed the last person I interviewed with a week ago today........................and told her I couldn't wait until I met with the new DM and new RVP................no response...........
.........................................................never ending dream I cannot wake up from!
Kell...
Thinking about Beth's thread, the one about being able to predict what people will do...
I think you may have enough information here to be able to predict what this organization will be like.
I bet they aren't very good at following through on anything they promise their people.
I bet people change jobs to get promotions because that is the only way anyone gets promotions.
I bet good people are 'held down' because the management doesn't want to 'make everyone else feel bad' by rewarding excellent performance.
Just sayin'. Because... what you are seeing now is their COMPANY manners. This is how they act when they go a-courtin'.
If they're this inconsiderate now, what on earth can you expect when they think they've GOT you?
Just putting in 2 cents worth, and I wish it were more cheerful...
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You know? I agree with this based on how long it is taking them. But both of the interim managers told me how much they liked the company plus they both said the pay was great and the work/life mix is good. That is why I am frustrated. The two different impressions are oxymorons!
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You know? I agree with this based on how long it is taking them. But both of the interim managers told me how much they liked the company plus they both said the pay was great and the work/life mix is good. That is why I am frustrated. The two different impressions are oxymorons!
Maybe not mutually exclusive.
The pay is great - for THEM.
The work/life balance is great - for THEM.
Where I work, the pay is great, and so is the work/life balance - for the pets and the princesses.
Then, there are those who actually DO the work there. Their pay, and their work/life balance, are quite another matter!
This kind of yin-yang split usually means that there are haves and have-nots, and if you're getting it up the yin-yang now, you may well be doomed to have-not status.
I'm not saying give up; I am saying, though: keep yer options open, and keep looking around.
((((((((((kell))))))))))
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It could be sign that they are poor communcators within the organization or..... their cousin Fred is on holiday and they can' t make the decision until he comes back. Organizations have things going on that you can 't know at this time. They may be waiting for the funding they need to hire you. I say wait a couple of days and ask them when they expect to be hiring.
If you don't get this job, you can request that they give you feedback so that you can improve for the next job.
No matter what happens try to get into the here and now. Easier said than done. i think it is great that you have made the DESICION to get more distance between you and mom.
Sea storm
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Thanks, Sea............I truly think that is what is happening. With the reconfiguring of the regions and districts, the new managers have to visit all their stores. So I'll bet they are waiting until these guys visit the store I am hoping to work for before they call me. BUT she told me within a week and that was 8 days ago.............AND I emailed her and haven't even heard a peep back from her. I tell you, if I don't get this job I am going to be so mad!
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Kell, you're a champ.
You have been enduring and persisting so well in spite of this great tension.
Try to breathe your way through a happy Sunday.
One thing: tomorrow will come and tomorrow will go. Like every day after it.
You deserve a peaceful day.
hugs,
Hops
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I may deserve it but it eludes me. the waiting is the hardest part. I texted the DM and talked about him buying my store and asked him if he had heard from the new management. No response. Maybe the Winter Storm has something to do with the text not getting through? I just do not know! Spinning my wheels!
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Kell - I hate what you and Bones have been going through. It is so distressing and creates such dispair. There really are no words for it. I think about you both daily and am vigilant for word from each of you that something wonderful has come through at last. Until either of you hears otherwise I am going to hold out hope. I am hoping for THIS job to be it and to be good. I won't give up until you do.
I hope with you that you will hear something positive this week and that it will begin within the month of March at a salary that will be reasonable for you. - Same for you Bone! - friend to you both - Gaining Strength
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Yes, poor Bones and ME!!!!! :x Why, oh why can't they just offer me the position? It makes me think they really don't want me.......just the DM who wants to buy my store.......
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Kell, I apologize. The answer to the question I'm about to ask may be upthread, but I haven't checked regularly, and so I may have missed it. I'm not indifferent to your situation at all, though.
If the District Manager who wants to buy your store is the only person at this company who wants to hire you, doesn't that set you up? If he buys your store, isn't he going to leave his company and come to run the store instead? If you leave the store to go to work for the company, won't you be going there JUST as the ONE person who seems to have a genuine interest in you, without games and garbage, is LEAVING -- to come to the place where you are right now?
I may be misunderstanding this, maybe his company wants to buy your store and you'd get to run it and work for him. But if not, if he wants to buy it from your mother, is it possible that if you sit tight, you could end up working for this man right where you are right now, without having to leave?
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Well it would seem ironic at least. But in a way it almost seems like Gods will somehow that I applied there and he felt called to do what I do. And he I dont leave the chances of us selling at all are slim.
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So, you see, if I don't get the job at the store I want, then the chances of us selling are slimmer than if I do.................so if the DM doesn't hire me then it can't work out for him to buy the place. So he would be smart to offer me the job. But I don't want him to want me just because he might be able to get my store. And he liked me before all this came about.
So I am hoping that these guys are just so busy that I am just one in many things on their "to do" lists............and that they will get to me as soon as possible.
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I hope so too, Kell.
Meanwhile, I'm hoping you're finding a still unmoving place of peace inside you.
Even a small place, down deep.
Tap into that, and try to stay in each present moment.
Breaaaaaaaaaaathhhhhe....
hugs,
Hops
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Thanks Hops!!! I applied for another job today. And I applied for another one and they loved me but I politely called and declined the second two hour interview - I cannot afford to take a $15,000 a year pay cut...............and work at a cell phone company!! And not even the company that I already have my service with!!! So even though I really want this job, I am continuing my search. But I tell you, if I do not get this job, I am going to take a deep breath and maintain my cool. It would be so like me to have a knee jerk reaction and to take any job just to force the issue. So I will pray and wait and hope that God has something excellent for me....and KNOW that He has something great for me. Whether it is this job or not. Maybe something will happen and my mom will be forced to back off. Who knows? Not I. So I'll just take that deep breath and try, try, try to be calm, cool and collected and thank all of you for hearing me spew for these past three months!!!
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I AM DONE! THE SILENCE HAS THROWN ME OVER THE DEEP END! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 3 MONTHS! I CANNOT STAND IT! I AM TO THE POINT OF RAGING! THEY ARE TRULY JERKING ME AROUND (OR AT LEAST THAT IS HOW I FEEL) I THOUGHT FOR SURE I WOULD HEAR FROM THEM TODAY. DONE WORRYING. DONE HOLDING MY BREATH! IT IS TIME FOR ME TO LET IT GO!
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Yes.
It is tremendously inconsiderate, OC, for them to let you hang like that.
Don't vent it to them!!!
I think your anger is justified.
They can't know what this would mean to you, and it's absolutely not personal, but their behavior is disorganized and frustrating. Not to mention apathetic.
Hops
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I decided what the hell and called the gal who I interviewed with 11 days ago to see what is up. She told me the new district manager will be in my town tomorrow. She said he would be calling all the candidates himself. I asked if he was planning on calling me and she said she assumes so since they all have endorsed me. So I am waiting Again for the phone to ring! Just need one chance to sell myself but watch, then I will have to interview with the new regional vp. Four interviews down
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OC...
You're a HERO!
March, march, march...
Bravo to you. Just bravo in the mirror every morning!
Hops
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I am not a hero! He has not called me yet!
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WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Still hasn't called me yet. But if he truly is in town, we are about to get a blizzard and I probably couldn't make it today anyway......and I did hear from the old DM and I made sure he knew I was waiting for a call, apparently he and the new DM are friends.
Well, I told my 19 year old my intentions of leaving my job with nmom. Her first response was "darn that grandma.............doesn't she know she should back off and let you run it?" Then today she told me I was being irresponsible for leaving. Hopping from job to job. I said, "I have been there 13 years!!!" Then she said, "You have a degree and you don't even use it." I asked her who she had been talking to and she said no one......but I don't believe her...
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Overcomer,
Geesh!! wish things would turn around real fast for you. But good things come to good people and we usually have to wait.
You are good people and your day is coming!! Wish I could say more. Hang in there.
Love Deb
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Thanks Deb. I need all the support I can get. I am starting to think I should tell my mom I will stay if she meets a list of my demands and one is so huge that she probably wont do it.
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Go for it. Pray about it. You might just be pleasantly surprised !! Hope so. Leah xx
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Well prayer is the only thing I have. I am to the point that I just dont care anymore! I know if I continue to hold out hope for the job I want I will be so devastated if I dont get it! I cannot risk the emotions!
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I'm sorry you are so discouraged! I am thinking about you and holding you up in my heart, thoughts and prayers. - your friend - Gaining Strength
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Thanks. You have all been so kind waiting with me for my parole! Now I am second guessing myself to the point of total confusion and bewilderment!
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OC, I vote diversion and pleasant distractions for you this weekend.
Funny movies with kids?
A hike in a beeeeeyoooooootiful place?
What would take you totally out of your rumination for just a day or so?
((((OC)))))
Hops
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Considering we just got blasted by a blizzard it doesnt look like leaving the house will happen. Plus I have a headache now that has me flat on my back. Hopefully a good nights sleep will get rid of it. I agree that I need to enjoy life while I am waiting rather than put my life on hold!
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I sent my mom an email and asked for 4 specific things I would need in order to stay at my business. One was a lump sum of money to pay off debt. Two the ability to come and go as I please. And the promise of going to others to do her computer work that she does not know how to do and no long drawn out meetings. I doubt if she will agree but I told her I would leave if not. Is that emotional blackmail?
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OC...
IMO, don't recommit to your mother before the end of next week, eh?
what about a very polite note written to the company you want to work for explaining:
I remain very eager to join you and put all my experience and skills to use to serve ___.
Because working for you is my first goal, I did want to let you know that as of March ___,
I will of necessity be renewing my understanding with my family business.
I understand that there have been many adjustments and changes for ___ recently,
I know how that is! Sometimes a search for the right candidate can get stalled.
I hope I have convinced all of you that I am the right person for the post, and I will
look forward to word from you soon. Best wishes, etc...
/
Hops
//
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hops: I know. I realize that I am starting to back peddle since I am not hearing from the job and frankly, I am just so fed up with the delays. I am not saying I will not go forward with this company IF the pay is where I need it to be. I am too close to forcing a split from my over controlling nmom. But after much thought, I decided IF she will go for my stipulations, then I could deal with it. I would have financial and time freedom. These are very important to me.
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But I also know that her N ways will rear their ugly heads. I know that I cannot trust her to change. Her response to my email was......"don't you think you need to go back to counseling to deal with your negative feelings toward me?" My response was, "If you would like to go back to Dr. A then go ahead, I have done enough research and reading that I am full aware of why I feel the way I do and there is nothing he is going to say that is going to change what I know is the truth." I love that. Deflecting it right back at her. I also told her that I needed to feel validated. Heard. Then I asked her if she remembered when my grandfather said things to her that hurt her feelings. I told her it hurt, didn't it? Well, that is how I feel when you say things that harm my self esteem. So I guess I kind of put her in a position. Either give me a big sum of money or I will take the other job. I just cannot imagine that she will give me that kind of money. If she did, I would stay.......
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Oh, and Hops? I have. I emailed and called the last person I interviewed with. I have talked on several occasions with the person who would have been my DM. I reapplied on careerbuilder and on the cover letter I stated my intent to work there and told them that the former DM considered me his first candidate. Both two store managers and the DM have endorsed me to the new DM........so unless they found someone who just swept the new DM off his feet, I assume I am going to get that fifth interview. But wow!!! I cannot believe how long it is taking and I just think maybe God is working something out......I don't know.
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To quote a sagacious person person who just helped me, OC:
All you can do is all you can do.
And you dunnit.
(But I still hope your frazzled nerves over this company's tortoise pace...I seem to have tortoises on my mind...don't guide you wrongly into a new ledge of tension with your mother...)
Hey! OC. This weekend is maybe going to be about NOT NOT NOT focusing on the work stuff, right? Some pleasant healthful diversions that make you laugh, or physically relax, or both????
Hops
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Hops, I took it easy all weekend as you suggested. Did not obsess at all. Went shopping and bought a lot of clothes and shoes. Felt good about that. Now I must admit that I am starting to lose interest in this job. I have put my life on hold for 3 Months and I went into the store twice over the weekend and basically said "I am too good for you you idiots!" So I am starting to be content to stay. Am I insane? Talk to me!
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I mean I didnt really say they were idiots but I thought it.
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Hi OC,
Maybe you got a glimpse of the fire so the frying pan started to feel comfy. :shock:
I still think you don't need to make a major commitment to your mother right now...that seems like a self-created deadline, like a wedding, to resolve your inner tension over the PITA company that can't get its act together (and all the enormous enormous stress you felt waiting to hear).
All that's totally natural and I don't know whether it's insane or not but if you can bear to, my advice would be JUST BREAthe, and don't make another big dramatic decision re. your mother's business right now.
if you can continue to "float" I believe you won't trap yourself...
that help?
HOps
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It helps. I agree on long term commitments because I Will be trapped. But if she handed me some money I would be apt to stay but she wont because I asked for it almost like blackmail and she cannot do anything I want so the sense of obligation will not be there.
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oh, and by the way.....what does PITA mean???
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(cover ears, delicates...) :shock:
PITA = pain in the a**
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Very funny and true! I texted the old dm And said "i think I have lost hope about this job. I have not heard anything and it has been 3 Months since I first applied. Any insight?" He has not contacted me in return and I think it was a last ditch effort to contact these people and I dont think I care about the PITA Company.
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Well, just as I was starting to think I was going to just grin and bear it at work, I got a call from another company that I applied to. It is a company which sells beauty items.....make up, shampoos, flat irons, nail polish........that kind of thing. The job I have been holding my breath on was fashion retail. Anyway, I have an interview tomorrow morning and we'll see. I cannot imagine they could pay me what I want and I was surprised that the fashion store would. I guess there is ots of margin in fashion......anyway..............I don't really care so I'll bet I interview really well. If I am not really wanting a job I do great. Maybe it will grow on me........but I still am angry that the new DM didn't even call me for an interview. After being interviewed four times and being assured that this new DM was less worried about fashion and more worried about day to day activities like hiring and training and making sure the customer is helped, etc. That's what I am all about, Mentoring the staff. Teaching. Training. Helping customers. So I still don't understand why but I guess I have to let it go. I feel sorry for whoever gets the position because the store has been functioning without a manager for over three months....
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Fashion Margin is 200%
Then downscales in the discount sales i.e. 20% off this week marketing campaign ......... 1/2 price sale.
Full of boring information :)
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OC,
I don't know why places do the things they do but where I use to work they would have a job opening except resumes, even interview then leave it at that for a long, long time. When they finally got back to the people most of them had been hired by someone else. I never did get why they even bothered to post the job when they had no intentions of hiring someone for quite sometime. They did this without a head bookeeper for months. Anyway, good luck with your interview. Hope it turns out for you.
Love
Deb
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Thanks for the comments. I have been obsessed with this whole thing for months. I could barely get involved with the conflict on the board or to try to help anyone else. I am just trying to get a handle on MY life. To let go of all the negative inner parent. To try to make me feel good about me......without getting too self-absorbed.
A fine line between taking care of self and becoming self centered. I have been looking at expensive purses and clothes and perfume and stuff like that. It is good for me. So I just went and looked at the job posting and it did say 4 years relevent work experience and I really have none so they may say "thanks but no thanks...." But that is ok with me. The act of applying for jobs and interviewing is good for me. It keeps my skills polished.
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So I just went and looked at the job posting and it did say 4 years relevent work experience and I really have none so they may say "thanks but no thanks...." But that is ok with me. The act of applying for jobs and interviewing is good for me. It keeps my skills polished.
OC
They must be interested in you, after reading your Curriculum Vitae, they have offered you an interview.
So all the very best tomorrow.
Leah
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Thanks! I appreciate it!
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Hi,
It does seem a long time to wait to hear if you will have this dream job.
What are you doing to take it completely from your mind that would help?...........?????? Would it??
What if you began looking for another job, seriously, and felt that it was the dream job.........ba-ba-ba-BOOM...out comes the offer for THIS one?
Still wishing you receive what you want! (http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)
xx
Izzy
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Well today I had an interwie with the company which sells beauty and I like them too so now I am not obsessing anymore!
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I have not heard from the beauty place yet. She eluded that they would be in touch so I am not stressing about it at all. This whole ordeal has helped me to be more assertive as I called the old District Manager today. He did not pick up but I told him that I assumed the were not going to give me the job but that I was disappointed because I did not get the opp to interview with the new people and that I knew I could have convinced them I was perfect for the job. Oh well, their loss!