Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: gratitude28 on April 10, 2007, 09:05:17 PM

Title: Being Raised by Children
Post by: gratitude28 on April 10, 2007, 09:05:17 PM

Being raised by someone who is still, mentally, a child does not prepare one well for adulthood.

Everything is done on a whim and rules are made daily. Promises are vast and not kept. There is always the expectation that you will be magically saved from a bad situation.

A child does not learn coping skills. A child does not learn discipline. A child does learn not to trust.

Title: Re: Being Raised by Children
Post by: Overcomer on April 10, 2007, 09:18:53 PM

I would call my mom mature but immature in a basic "I want what I want when I want it and I have to have my way or I will throw a tantrum of sorts" line of way.

Title: Re: Being Raised by Children
Post by: teartracks on April 10, 2007, 09:29:42 PM

Hi Beth,  

Being raised by someone who is still, mentally, a child does not prepare one well for adulthood.

Everything is done on a whim and rules are made daily. Promises are vast and not kept. There is always the expectation that you will be magically saved from a bad situation.

A child does not learn coping skills. A child does not learn discipline. A child does learn not to trust.

True, so true.  I'm just recogniing the maturity level of the N who raised ne,  I see it as around 8 years old.  What I'd give to hear her story.  But her jaws are locked where that is concerned.  http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp  On this test she comes out ESFJ which I think plays negatively into the arrested emotional development.

tt

  

Title: Re: Being Raised by Children
Post by: isittoolate on April 10, 2007, 09:51:13 PM

Agreed

Izzy

Title: Re: Being Raised by Children
Post by: axa on April 11, 2007, 03:51:42 AM

so true.  I often felt so sorry for XN's daughter, she had so little guidance in her life and what she got was so off the wall it made me sad.  I hope I had some positive influcence in her life.  She was like his surrogate wife.  I could see her confusion sometimes when there would be a "rule change".  XN is back with Xwife, so guess he is married today, wonder what he will be tomorrow.  This has helped me make sense of our "relationship" never knew my status.  There was just so much confusion it was unreal. 

Enjoying a confusion free life today.

axa