Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: axa on April 26, 2007, 07:50:24 AM

Title: Acknowledgement
Post by: axa on April 26, 2007, 07:50:24 AM

When XN and I lived abroad I met with a very nice woman and stayed in contact with her by email.  She would ask me in her emails when I was coming back etc.

I wrote to her and told her about XN and how I had left him.  She sent me back an email which touched me so much it made me cry.  She said " I am so sorry you have been in such an abusive relationship"  That acknowledgement has meant so much to me.  She did not try and make excuses, fix things, come up with ways of getting together, she just acknowledged my reality. 

so many people try and discount our reality or minimize it.  It is as if society colludes with the abuser.  It was so good to be heard.  Just wanted to acknowledge her respect for me.


axa

Title: Re: Acknowledgement
Post by: Gaining Strength on April 26, 2007, 05:17:51 PM

The healing power of validation is astonishing.  I am so glad you had that significant experience.  The only place in my life that I have experienced that validation is with my therapist and here. - Gaining Strength

Title: Re: Acknowledgement
Post by: Stormchild on April 27, 2007, 08:56:14 PM

And sugar, you ain't always gonna get it here, either, let me tell you.

So when you do get it - it's an incredible gift.

Title: Re: Acknowledgement
Post by: Overcomer on April 27, 2007, 09:04:02 PM

This is one of the most important things.  My mom is systematically making my anger my unstable problem-but I have had one person specifically acknowledge my moms pathology-it was a very wonderful experience to know I am living with abuse and I am not the problem!

Title: Re: Acknowledgement
Post by: Hide on April 27, 2007, 11:10:00 PM

Acknowledgement is the most painful yet gratifying thing ever. If only I could be on the gratifying end. I just recently told one of my best friends about my sexuality. Today, it seems that he refused to acknowledge me. Not a word nor a glance to me. Just total ignorance. The pain is suffocating. Best friends one day, complete strangers the other. Well enough about my problems. Feel better, no one can put you down as bad as you do to yourself. Look away from the past and to the future. 

Title: Re: Acknowledgement
Post by: axa on April 28, 2007, 02:41:05 AM

Thank you for your responses............... acknowlegement is such a big thing.  I appreciate it very very much

axa

Title: Re: Acknowledgement
Post by: Hopalong on April 28, 2007, 06:06:07 PM

Axa,
I'm so glad you were heard in 3-D World too. That's wonderful.

Hello Hide...
Don't hide. Welcome. We'll hear you here.

Hops

Title: Re: Acknowledgement
Post by: James73 on April 28, 2007, 06:16:19 PM

Hi Hide, try not to fret about your friend too much they may come around or not, it is hurtful yes but the pain will fade and you are no longer hiding but fighting free. Your friend will be scared, or hurt or maybe too immature to deal with such a disclosure, you have made the right decision, no one should hide away their true self it isnt healthy! Everyone will be supportive for you on here and you are very welcome.
In acknowledgement
a friend
James

Title: Re: Acknowledgement
Post by: axa on April 29, 2007, 04:17:25 AM

Hide,

Welcome, my experience of being here has been validating.  I feel heard, cared for, challenged and respected.  I wish you the same experience.

I know how difficult it is when someone you trust discounts your truth, it seems like your "friend" does not have the ability to see you for who you are and respect that.

axa