On resolving early conflicts..... they're always very painful. Most people can't do it, so I'm told by a very good friend in the business. He says we spend most of our time going from one distraction to another in order to avoid pain. Figuring out our demons is VERY painful, so it's usually not successful.
From Margo on shame thread.
I have such as fear that I cannot do it, after so much being ingrained in me for 68 years.
Visitors would come and say, “And surely you don’t belong in this family.” (One blond… 4 redheads.)
Eldest sister said I was adopted, that mom found me in a ditch and brought me home. I asked mom and she said, since she had no ‘truths’ about sensitive things, that she found me and brought me home---some coincidence.
I was thinking of the times I tried to be normal. I sent my siblings anniversary cards, birthday cards, and cards to my nieces and nephews. I was the only one so I eventually stopped, just as I had stopped dropping in to have a visit and “there was no visit to be had” so I would leave.
About 20-25 years ago I asked if we could all, just the 5 of us, no spouses get together for a chat, for a change. I wanted to talk about me and my problems, but no one wanted a get together without spouses. I felt then that the sibs relied on their spouses to lean on and I had none. And I didn't feel important enough to press the issue!
I grew up learning all levels of negative things and I could scream right now for ever having been born, for having to go over all this time and time again to finally reach my own conclusion which might not be any help at all.
Why couldn’t my father have kept his damned pants zipped that one time?
Just venting
Izzy
Oh--in those days I think the men had buttons, not zippers, nevertheless I wonder why mom wasn't the first Mrs. Bobbit!
On resolving early conflicts..... they're always very painful. Most people can't do it, so I'm told by a very good friend in the business. He says we spend most of our time going from one distraction to another in order to avoid pain. Figuring out our demons is VERY painful, so it's usually not successful.
From Margo on shame thread.
I have such as fear that I cannot do it, after so much being ingrained in me for 68 years.
Visitors would come and say, “And surely you don’t belong in this family.” (One blond… 4 redheads.)
Eldest sister said I was adopted, that mom found me in a ditch and brought me home. I asked mom and she said, since she had no ‘truths’ about sensitive things, that she found me and brought me home---some coincidence.
I was thinking of the times I tried to be normal. I sent my siblings anniversary cards, birthday cards, and cards to my nieces and nephews. I was the only one so I eventually stopped, just as I had stopped dropping in to have a visit and “there was no visit to be had” so I would leave.
About 20-25 years ago I asked if we could all, just the 5 of us, no spouses get together for a chat, for a change. I wanted to talk about me and my problems, but no one wanted a get together without spouses. I felt then that the sibs relied on their spouses to lean on and I had none. And I didn't feel important enough to press the issue!
I grew up learning all levels of negative things and I could scream right now for ever having been born, for having to go over all this time and time again to finally reach my own conclusion which might not be any help at all.
Why couldn’t my father have kept his damned pants zipped that one time?
Just venting
Izzy
Oh--in those days I think the men had buttons, not zippers, nevertheless I wonder why mom wasn't the first Mrs. Bobbit!
Wow..... (((Izzzy)) Why can't it be easier to figure this stuff out and leave it behind?
Margo