Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: WRITE on June 14, 2007, 05:37:40 PM
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well my ex has been quite a pill the past week, though the past couple of days i haven't seen him and the days before that he was a bit better, but oh dear how stressful.
I've got almost constant shoulder pain and sinus headache.
In Louise Hay's book she said that sinus pain is indicative of irritation with someone; shoulder pain is feeling unloved or unable to be loved.
I felt kind of sad reading the latter, because I have been both very loved and very unloved simultaneously as an adult.
What do you think about these explanations of illness? Is cancer even a sign of unresolved emotion? Is this a balanced view or just another contributory factor in a larger model?
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That is what the thread Deadly Emotions is all about-how you emotions can effect your health - it is worth a read.
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I know that I have stomach problems because I gave away my "core", and guts to my mother. I gave up my strength and intestinal fortitude also. I got to a point where I could barely eat,
Now, as I heal, I am being able to eat more.
Whenever I am afraid, I get an immediate stomach ache.
I think that we are integrated beings. Out mind and body are one.unit.
Caroline Myss is a medical intuitive. She can see where there is a physical problem and the emotional reasons which caused it(in many cases).
Let me know if you know about her Love Ami
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Medical Intuitive-my doc used that term. She is a medical intuitivne AND an emotional intuitive-I love her-she points me in the right direction every time.
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Write,
Louise Hay is a really clever woman. I love her books. It seems so cranky at first, with her theories, but after a while you just *have* to believe her approach.
I get sinus pain, and now I know what causes it, I always analyse what's been happening to see *who* has caused me to have it come back, and there's always a reason.
Four years ago, I suddenly got appalling eczema, all over the top half of my body. In my hair, in my mouth, everywhere. The skin fell off my face and hands within three days, and I swelled up so much, my husband told (afterwards, fortunately!), that I'd looked like a frog! There was a risk I would have anaphylactic shock (like with peanut allergy), and collapse.
My usual doctor sent me to a dermatologist who just said 'you've become allergic to something - you have to try to identify what it is and avoid it.'
Thanks for that, Mr Specialist. That cost me £120 for half an hour's 'advice'. And he had eczema himself, so not a good advert.
My homeopath, though, took one look at me, and said ' Have you had any sudden emotional shock lately, anything to do with the past?' What a different approach!
I HAD had a shock - my Nsister had sent me ('anonymously', but I knew it was her from the handwriting on the envelope) a newspaper cutting from a letters page, where a woman was 'pleading' with other women who don't make a fuss of their mothers on Mother's Day to make the effort, beacuse one day, their mothers would be dead, like hers was, and then they'd be sorry. My Nsister often acts as 'go-between' for my Nmum.
This had made me really angry to receive, especially as it was 'anonymous', so I couldn't easily respond directly.
Apparently, eczema is a classic example of the body responding to extreme irritation and frustration in physical ways. I was given homeopathic chocolate, would you believe, which cleared it up within days.
I have read before that cancer is a sign of feeling unloved, so that's worrying that, in today's society, so many people get cancer now.
Janet
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In Louise Hay's book she said that sinus pain is indicative of irritation with someone; shoulder pain is feeling unloved or unable to be loved.
You women are a Fountain of Knowledge! I have been putting those hot patches on my shoulders for months.Some days would be better than others. I definitely have been feeling unloved, and I have had this feeling for a long long time.
Thanks for the knowledge!
Sweet
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Ah, well, here's a contrarian view...
I sure believe there's a powerful mind-body connection, but I find it difficult to swallow (err...what's that mean?) that each symptom or complaint is linked to a specific kind of emotion.
I went to a workshop on Louise Hay's principles at one time years ago. Taken to the extreme, the participants made clear that this particular kind of philosophy even posits that as little souls floating in the universe, we select our parents in order to "work out issues from our past lives". I asked, what about abused babies...are you telling me they CHOSE those parents (like the philosophy was telling people they "chose" their physical illnesses "to learn lessons"...)? And they said, oh that's because the baby had some karma it had to work out...smiling beatifically.
I wanted to smack 'em. Anyway, I think Hay is hooey. Though mind-body connections make sense, I do not think they're that prescriptive or predictable.
And I sure as heck don't think anybody selects their parents or chooses cancer to "learn something."
Grumpily (more about why I'm grumpy on another thread), these are just my idle responses...no disrespect to anyone who likes Hay or has benefitted from thinking about her work--I'm glad it's helpful to people anyway!
love,
Hops
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I loved the Louise Hay book graphics and wonderful positive affirmations, however I do feel that illness is many things including an emotional upsetting of the body systems.
I mentioned it to a doctor friend today and as she said, she just treated a newborn who has to have a tumour removed, that's not likely to be an emotional response to stress etc....
Oh, you were just talking about this Hops, I've always had a problem with karma theories, mainly because I think we attach good or bad labels to things which simply are mostly. Saying people deserve things or have earned them in some way says more about the maliicousness or lack of compassion of others sometimes, I have heard Christians saying someone is going to hell with the same zeal and lack of thought.
I do think though often for us to reach resolution of the often un-resolvable we have to have an acceptance and create some explanation for ourselves and make sense of it. SO we see connections and coincidences and repeat events in things which are a pattern to us but may not be anything more than that.
That's what G_d is to me, all things in balance, the 'love' of the universe.
I believe we all experience it differently too.
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My shoulder pain diminuished a lot after my therapy session yesterday, and several demonstrations of love from people in my life. My sinus pain is less too, but that has beena problem for years and is worse in Houston with needing a/c, the pollution, mould, humidity- which sometimes helps, sometimes makes it worse!
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My ex gets chronic eczema, funnily enough it is usually when to me and others he is behaving at his best the symptoms flare up and he has a terrible time...
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I bumped into a friend this morning, she has been seeign one of these 'medic intuitive' people for ages, I have to say she would benefit better by going for regular psychotherapy, and she has yet to address the basic residual stuff from childhood.
I didn't like the way the medic was also her friend, I didn't understand how someone would confuse the boundaries like that.
My therapist is fond of me but she keeps the boundaries. Funny how they soften over the years though, as you get to know each other and know where they need rigid enforcement or not!
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I've tried to avoid ex, we are all going to dinner tomorrow night that will be the first time I've seen him since Tuesday; I know that doesn't sound long, but it's almost been hard to avoid him, like I want to get the hostility over and done with. And now I am realising- it's never over and doen with like with someone else. In fact, he isn't even unpleasant half the time, if he consistently was I suppose I wouldn't have kept going back....
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sinus problems can be too many dairy products or any dairy products. If you give them up for 4 days, the problem will go away if it is this Love Ami
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wow. I have sinus problems, not pain, skin rashes, skin cancer, get many pains in my shoulders and arms and vulvodynia.
I blame it all on stress that I don't know I have.
Iz
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Something really neat is happening to me. As I face deep pain my eyes get better.
Yesterday, I faced ,in my heart, the depth of how my parents and H betrayed me. Today, I am seeing much better.
I really can't get over how real the mind -body connection is. It is really surprising to me.
Love Ami
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my shoulder pain is back, my son was just jumping all over me then suddenly got aggressive, you know how boys do. I didn't really feel threatened by him as such but it triggered some very stressful memories.
I am only just coming out of denial about my husband's violence and the effects it has had on me, I'm not sure why that was part of his behaviour I always minimised.
Glad you are feelign better Ami.
I need to drop dairy, but since I am not singing anything big the next few weeks i guess I have been over-indulging...it does make sinus worse!
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Hmmm. Learning, learning here...
Izz, don't you think arm and shoulder pain could come from overuse of arms and shoulders you're forced to do bec. of the chair?
xo
Hops
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I think there is a powerful mind body connection. I have eczema and it gets really bad when I am stressed. Recently I went to see Dr. Hoffer, world renowed orthomolecular scientist. He suggested quitting dairy and within a few days eczema was so much better.
He has a site and recommends vitamins for stress and disease.
I am taking his vitamins for depression and they are helping. Especially in the energy department.
Sea storm
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Gosh I can relate to how, dealing with dysfunctional folk can cause pain...though I wasn't thinking SINUS...was thinking a bit lower down below the tail bone :)
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well my ex has been quite a pill the past week, though the past couple of days i haven't seen him and the days before that he was a bit better, but oh dear how stressful.
I've got almost constant shoulder pain and sinus headache.
In Louise Hay's book she said that sinus pain is indicative of irritation with someone; shoulder pain is feeling unloved or unable to be loved.
I felt kind of sad reading the latter, because I have been both very loved and very unloved simultaneously as an adult.
What do you think about these explanations of illness? Is cancer even a sign of unresolved emotion? Is this a balanced view or just another contributory factor in a larger model?
I'm very familiar with feeling like my brain is burning, of like it's in labor. I sometimes think it might be due to sinus but it only happens when I'm dealing with feelings of being trapped and frustrated.
About the shoulder pain, I have pain in my left shoulder that makes me worry about a heart attack when I'm terribly angry and pain in my right shoulder, on that big nobby bone that attaches to neck muscle that hold head on shoulders. It gets a bit swollen and aches and throbs when I'm under intense emotional duress.
I believe our emotions are tied into our physical health in a huge way. I'm living it and it frightens me terribly.
As far as cancer? Our immune systems fight cancer cells and free radicals every minute of every day. When something happens, be it the increase in toxins from the sun or diet (pesticides from eating Mexican produce, for instance) or our immune systems take dive for whatever reason, (emotional discord, eating too much sugar creating stress on organs to combat the up and down of insulin dumps) perhaps there's a history of cancer in the family and many members die at age 48 from the same cancer.... then the balance is tipped and our systems just start losing the battle with the cancer cells.
I believe we can take vitamins, use sunscrean, eat healthy, limit pesticide ingestion and control our emotions so they don't affect our immune systems negatively and still be unable to keep our immunse systems operating well enough to keep cancer from growing out of control. And when cancer grows out of control, the body is starved for nutrition bc the cancer is getting all the calories. Most cancer patients die of malnutrition.
That doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to do everything I can to boost my immune system. I worry about what all this stress is doing to me, almost every day. Some days I worry about just surviving it. The pain and physical symptoms, like you have also, frightens me and triggers more fear. It takes a lot to calm myself back down out of these spirals.
I'm always amazed when I recover from a bout of terrible physical pain and duress only to discover I skirted longterm physical illness or system collapse. Amazing to me.
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I had to write on this thread b/c as I have shifts in my thinking, my whole, body is changing. I faced a really big truth about my N mother and N ish H last week, I am noticing that my eyes are getting much better. Also, before ,I could only eat a handful of food at a time. Sunday, we went out for lunch and I ate the whole lunch. I was so surprised.
I can really see how diseases are caused by stored up pain. I tried so hard (with diet and exercise) to get rid of my stomach problems. I could not. When my thinking changed, my whole body shifted. It is truly amazing.
I think that I kept my sickness to keep my "reality "intact. I did not want to face the truths about my N mother. If I stayed sick, then she was still with me( somehow). If I was afraid , she was somehow still with me.
I don't understand it all,but there was an umbrella of behaviors which kept me "connected to my M.. When I was sick or afraid, I felt like she was there,like I was keeping her alive,somehow .I ,also, thought that if I kept her " alive ",that someday she would come and make it all right.
I know that someone must have these ideas. I know that they are not "real" ,but in my mind they were a kind of comfort and hope. I really do not have a hold on what I am trying to say,but I know that it is a birth of a big healing Love Ami
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My shoulder pain is back!
But I am exercising a lot and eating very well.
Love to everyone.
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interesting my shoulder pain was completely gone by the end of the relaxing happy weekend, despite slightly uncomfortable sleep and long driving, returned when I got back to the computer and ex within minutes!
Ex tenses me up almost immediately with his disapproval. I was really aware of it last night, we went for dinner and no sooner did we sit down than he was rolling his eyes and telling me 'the trouble with you...'
I fed it back to him and also cut off the conversation with 'it's difficult to spend time with you when you are being negative'.
Computer I am going to try to spend less time on here, also watch posture, this chair isn't right height I don't think.
For the tension think I'll try some yoga exercises.
as I have shifts in my thinking, my whole, body is changing.
I noticed this too this weekend, sometimes I caught sight of myself in an unfamiliar mirror and thought, who is that lively happy woman?!
Hope your healign continues to delight you Ami.
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Dear WRITE,
I am really glad that you looked in the window and saw a lively person. So much of our attractiveness is our spirit which shines through .
I am sorry that you are being triggered by your ex H. It sounds really hard to detach . I think that it is fear of them ,at some level, that makes us feel so poorly in their presence . Ask yourself about any fear that you have of him. Also, do you need him to validate or approve of you. ?These might help you to "own" who you are more and to be stronger when he is around.
I feel much better with my H ,now b/c I am not so hungry for his approval as I used to be Love
Ami