Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Lupita on June 29, 2007, 11:24:53 AM
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Can you tell if you feel the same?
I have noticed that we, adults children of N mothers we always feel unconfortable? I read an article about golilocks syndrome.
One thing is too little, another si too big, one is too much, the other is too little and endless list of things that we are never satisfied with, just because we are not satisfied with our selves and nothing seems to fit us. Probably because the never good enogh for out mother we always find something wrong in almost about everything and everybody. Instead of trying to find the positive things of people we look at the negative.
Can you tell if you feel the same way?
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Get rid of the bears in your life. This is The Goldilocks Syndrome's most important lesson. Face up to your bears. See them for what they are. Understand why you are in this destructive relationship with them. Now you are ready to make a creative plan for overcoming your bears. Call pest control. Make smelly rugs out of them.
http://www.happywomanmagazine.com/Features/Goldilocks.htm
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LUpita this is good, it made me smile!
Get rid of the bears in your life. This is The Goldilocks Syndrome's most important lesson. Face up to your bears. See them for what they are. Understand why you are in this destructive relationship with them. Now you are ready to make a creative plan for overcoming your bears. Call pest control. Make smelly rugs out of them.
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Lupita,
Great article. Thanks so much for sharing.
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Indeed, we have a contribution in our destruction. It takes two to tango. Of course we do not know that we are dancing the tango, we are not aware of the problem, we ignore what is wrong with us, but still there is a contribution in our part and we have to take care of that. Not that I do it. I am the first to fall into all kinds of traps. But at least I am trying.
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Lupita,
I want to tell you that I see you are really growing, really changing. It's wonderful.
You really have become aware of so much and are seeing "reality".
You go girl!!!!!
Love,
Sally
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Dear Lupita,
I want to second what Sally said !!!! Love Ami
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Me too!
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And I understand the never being satisfied. I cannot tell you how long I have felt discontent. Always looking for a new house-a new relationship-new church etc
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Lupita,
I think that goldilocks story tells me that goldilocks has self confidence, she tries different things until she find what suits her. She is good enough to take what is perfect for her. She did not belittle her taste of choice as petty, not important, she honours them serenely. She is secure enough to sleep in a new place. Then she also can see danger, and know how to react, by running away, not remain a victum.
To me she examplify a wholesome person we all should be, allowed to be.
Love
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Lupita, Innerquest...both of your posts were so interesting to me.
Lupita, you told about the dangers of being in unfamiliar places with bears, whatever.
Innerquest, you explored the fact that GoldiLocks knew when to run away from it all. Excellent posts...and now, I'd like to add my view too.
I believe, first of all, Goldilocks was a rebel. Her apparently loving mother, warned her to stay in the house until she returned from shopping. GL, thinking she knew the TERRITORY, ventured out, ended up LOST and, INTRUDED into some strangers' home.
She then committed the act of STEALING, by eating their food, VANDALISM, by breaking their furniture, and STUPIDITY, by falling asleep in their bed. DUH on GL.
Now, true, when she came face to face with the enemy (bears), she didn't hang around for the fallout. She got "outta dodge" as they say! SMART GIRL...and also, BLESSED GIRL...those bears could have SUED THE PANTS OFF HER, not to mention, eaten her for their dinner meal!
What the story tells me is OBEY THE REASONABLE VOICE...it might be your loving mom, your pastor, your friend, your mentor, Holy Spirit...but HEED THE VOICE OF REASON and DO NOT VENTURE INTO PLACES THAT YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN.
I probably should have run too, once I realized that the house I had visited, was full of bears!
~Laura
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Maybe I might be wrong, but I understood GL syndrome as talking about insatisfaction. And we as children of Ns we never feel comfortable. Something is too much or toolittle or ttoo big or too small, because we are not happy with our selves we do not feel comfortable. That is what I understand about it.
Too real for me. I have been a very unhappy person all my life.
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I was watching Andrew Wommack-- a Bible teacher .He has a series on"How to be Happy. He said that the Bible says the "eyes or soul(ego) is never satisfied." it means that all earthly things will eventually leave us empty and on the search for more.I pictured Donald Trump,in my mind.
In the past, I have been satisfied by being at peace. I guess that it is the spiritual"food" that satisfies.
Love Ami
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I loved everyone's interpretation of the Goldilock's story. You all are such an interesting bunch.
CB
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Sorry Lupita,
I do mean to come back to the uncomfortable not sure of ourselves part, then I forgot. I am sorry.
When I was young, I was acutely aware and even jealous of the happy children, I knew I was not them instinctively. The other kids could come from any economical/social status, they ccould be not good looking, not smart. But they are comfortable, at ease, their parents are not harsh on them. While I never knew I stand. I knew I was not loved, treasured and mattered as other kids. I don't think my parents knew how and cared about raising a normal child. Whatever they did, produce the me today, and I don't like it. Even now, I can spot a people from a loving supportive family right away. I still don't know if it was the Nmother traits got me like this, or the family of uafirmative, unrespectful handling children caused it. I never will be the same as other simple, decisive, no what ifs people. A positive outcome of this misfortune was I am much compasion to the underdogs, sufferings. The negative thing is I sometime is paralysed of action, even not able to function personally, so my compassion comes to no use.
I want to keep reading what other people have to say about this, how can we oversome?
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Inner, I totally identify with you. I remember many occasions when I was out of the group. My mom always provoked me so i answer inappropriately in public and then she punished me in public and then I was crying in a corner, when everybody else was having fun. I remember the laughing and my lonely tears. That happened so many times. That heppened in almost every single party of the family. She did it so I do not interact with others. I go to the gym and i still feel the same sensation. I go to work and i still feel the same sensation of isolation.
I see other people lauhing and I do not understand how can they be in a good mood. My mom made sure that I went to school very very mad and appaled every single day of my life. I went to school sour and saw the other kids happy and I did not understand why they were happy. Thank you Inner.
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((((((( I.Q))))))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((((Lupita))))))))))))))))) A Big Hug Ami
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Children are clays, the parents are potters who mold them. If the piece turns out bad, who should you blame? the hands or the product? When they see the weakness, they blame on you, you are born bad seed, especially they have the same weakness, they would be double hard on you to block their own pain(projection). Children are twice betrayed.
I love you Lupita. I love that little girl who has been betrayed, projected. I wish I could comfort you then.
((((Hug Lupita ))))) ((((Hug Ami)))))