Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: debkor on June 29, 2007, 02:25:13 PM

Title: Laugh Break
Post by: debkor on June 29, 2007, 02:25:13 PM

Some humor.
Sometimes we need a laugh break, Enjoy!

I especially like the  A woman’s perfect breakfast.

Deb


"Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible.  I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole."
 

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.
    Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?"
    "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times."

90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.
10% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him).


A Woman's Perfect Breakfast
You're sitting at the breakfast table.....
Your son's picture is on the box of Wheaties.
Your daughter is on the cover of Fortune.
Your boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
Your husband is on the back of the milk carton.

We were very happily married for eight months.
Unfortunately, we were married for ten years!

I must admit, you brought religion in my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


And God created woman and she had three breasts. He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?"
    She replied, "Yes, could get rid of this middle breast?"
    And so it was done, and it was good.
    Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding that third breast in her hand, "What can be done with this useless boob?"
    And God created man.

Title: Re: Laugh Break
Post by: mountainspring on June 29, 2007, 02:28:46 PM

 :D   :D

Title: Re: Laugh Break
Post by: tayana on June 29, 2007, 02:43:38 PM

I like the last one.  :)

Thanks Deb.  I needed a laugh.

Title: Re: Laugh Break
Post by: Ami on June 29, 2007, 04:28:32 PM

The last one is the 'fave "                              Ami

Title: Re: Laugh Break
Post by: JanetLG on June 29, 2007, 05:08:51 PM

I love the last one, too.

How about this for another one:

God was sitting at the drawing board, trying to decide what man and woman should look like. Woman was fine, but God was having a bit of trouble deciding how to make man 'complete'. Woman had breasts, but man had.....nothing unique, yet. So God went off for a cup of tea (this is the English version), and while God was gone, God's cat came up, saw the drawings and thought that he'd add something, to help. So the cat drew a tail on the front of the drawing of the man, with the annotaion 'tail that sticks up at the front when he's happy, just like a cat'.

Title: Re: Laugh Break
Post by: tayana on June 29, 2007, 05:15:15 PM

 :D :D

Love that, Janet.

Title: Re: Laugh Break
Post by: Overcomer on June 29, 2007, 07:47:52 PM

love  it

Title: Re: Laugh Break
Post by: Hopalong on June 30, 2007, 12:42:26 AM

I am probably a humorless boob, no pun intended, but I hafta admit I can't
laugh at gender-jokes any more...

too many hurts remembered from biting my lip while men around me yukked it up
with sexist stuff...

And I'm scared Mud and James will give up on us!

Hops

Title: Re: Laugh Break
Post by: mudpuppy on June 30, 2007, 12:42:00 PM

Hops,

I only give up on humorless boobs, please don't become one.
Admit it, those were pretty funny.

mud

Title: Re: Laugh Break
Post by: Hopalong on June 30, 2007, 04:45:12 PM

Mud...

Say this out loud without pausing, 5 times FAST:

unique New York

har de har de har har har!  :lol:

Hops