Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on July 12, 2007, 05:45:37 AM

Title: I made it without incident
Post by: Overcomer on July 12, 2007, 05:45:37 AM: I am at the Atlanta airport and I just spent 8 Days with my mom and aunt and it all went off without a hitch. no fights
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: JanetLG on July 12, 2007, 06:04:50 AM: OC,

You derseve a medal!

Well done!!!!

Janet
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Overcomer on July 12, 2007, 07:10:58 AM: I know. Last year was a nightmare and I told myself I would NEVER do it again but circumstances were such that I could not get out of it. Maybe my mom knows I just will not take her crap Anymore!
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Ami on July 12, 2007, 07:25:15 AM: What were the specific things that made this trip better than all the others? Love Ami
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Overcomer on July 12, 2007, 07:42:16 AM: When my mom was slow or made me mad I just told her that she was too slow for my liking and I was doing my own thing. Before I would stay with her and mutter under my breath and get mad. I just do not put myself in a position to feel controlled in ANY way.
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Ami on July 12, 2007, 08:08:17 AM: Do you feel "whole" inside when you are with your Mom or do you feel 'attached" to her emotionally?
Do you feel "whole' inside, in general? Love Ami
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Overcomer on July 12, 2007, 10:07:05 AM: I am sick of living in her shadow. She is great at self promotion but has nothing to substantiate her promotion. I feel whole without her but I would like to yell out to everyone that she is a phoney!
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: isittoolate on July 12, 2007, 12:30:41 PM: Quote from: Overcomer on July 12, 2007, 07:42:16 AM
When my mom was slow or made me mad I just told her that she was too slow for my liking and I was doing my own thing. Before I would stay with her and mutter under my breath and get mad. I just do not put myself in a position to feel controlled in ANY way.

This is an interesting spin on things.

I was just telling my therapist that one sister would call me slow, when getting in or out of a car, whatever and I felt like saying--"Well you sit in a wheelchair, approach the car and put the damned thing in without using your legs and see if you can be any faster than I am."

I never said it, but now I know she is the N sister.& I am ready to say it but she is 2000 miles away.

;0)
Izzy
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Hopalong on July 12, 2007, 02:52:41 PM: You're healing, Kel. You really are. Soon you'll only be creating your own shadow.

CB, I'm sorry. Please don't despair. It's agony to watch your kids in pain but please have faith that you have already given them so much love and sanity that they'll be all right in the long run. You really can't prevent their suffering right now. It's their trauma plus their grief. But over their lives, your good mothering will flower in most of their relationships (and when it doesn't, that won't be because you left any good effort untried). How hard it is.

Izzy, good that you name your sister's N-ness for yourself...but naming it to her would do nothing much, right?

hugs all,
Hops
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Overcomer on July 12, 2007, 05:08:48 PM: It was not that she is slow-it is that she stops to chat with anyone she sees. She is on the constant look out for important people who she can rub shoulders with and anyone who might be able to "learn" from her. she is such a poser. So I have nothing against legitimately slow people like children or people in wheelchairs-just people whose agendas are theirs only.
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Overcomer on July 12, 2007, 05:13:18 PM: Oh and thanks Hops! I really do feel like there is a light at the end of my tunnel. My mind is what is changing. I have snapped at least twice. Once at 42 and once just a few months ago when I did not get that other job so I figured I would have to make the best of what could be a very bad situation and set boundaries!
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Overcomer on July 13, 2007, 01:41:32 PM: The difference is that I know that I know that I know that I know more than she does. I watch her walking around and I see her starting to struggle to keep all the balls in the air. She gets frustrated and angry and this is just an outward manifestation of her inability to do the same things she did in the past. I will admit, when she was young she was on top of her game and what she is trying to do now is maintain her edge. Well, at 70 she can no longer bluff her way. She gets tired more often. She is more forgettful. She cannot keep track of everyones stuff......it is too overwhelming for a 35 year old!! Meanwhile all these details are to me like breathing. I just know it. She asks me why I do not take notes. I tell her I do not need to. I already know what I need to know. And even if she stays around and "pretends" she is in charge, as long as I can come and go as I please, no problem...
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Ami on July 13, 2007, 02:35:44 PM: It sounds like Tony and Uncle Junior Love Ami
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Overcomer on July 13, 2007, 06:51:26 PM: Who are Tony and Uncle Junior?
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Ami on July 13, 2007, 07:05:13 PM: I thought you might ask that. I guess that you have not seen the "Soprano's. Tony is the mastermind,but Junior takes the credit.
. Love Ami
Title: Re: I made it without incident
Post by: Overcomer on July 13, 2007, 08:12:52 PM: I guess that would make me Tony and little Miss Look at Me is my mom Junior!