Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: longtimelurker on May 08, 2004, 03:40:16 AM
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A long article, but I think there is a lot of relevance to what I went through as a child. Maybe this fits for others too?
A real eye-opener :shock:
a couple that stood out :-
29. Assume that the majority of seriously troubled children cannot accurately tell their life story. This inability prevents them from developing a coherent and detailed explanation of their life situation and perpetuates their propensity towards self-punitiveness and family idealization.
25. As a rule of thumb, most high-risk children do not have an accurate cognitive framework for understanding their family context and personal situation. Typically, they have sparse comprehension of their internal turmoil, their negative outlook on life, their inability to profit from experience and how their brain works when executive function difficulties exist.
and the real clincher :-
20. Assume that exposure to repetitive verbal abuse, particularly when accompanied by explosive parenting, may damage the child's self system in a fashion more devastating in terms of lasting impact, than limited incidents of physical or sexual abuse.
I was consistently verbally abused as a child - but I brought it on myself - it was only when I opened my mouth to want something or express something that I got it ! ergo in my parents eyes it was all my fault and they were justified ! (heavy sarcasm alert :wink: )
Imagine for a moment that you have to communicate something to someone, that is the most important thing you have ever tried to do and that attempting to do it will change your life - this is the response you get -
As a result of increasing frustration on being interrupted when I am trying to communicate this most important thing :-
I say LISTEN increasingly loudly. the response, the same each time I repeat the word LISTEN is :-
I am listening. I am listening. I am listening.
Here's the link, hope some find it helpful.
http://www.wediko.org/assumptions_regarding_children_in_high_risk.htm