Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on September 18, 2007, 10:04:23 PM
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We have this girl at work and every day there is some drama going on with her. If it is not one thing it is another! It is exhausting. Every day there is something. I can anticipate a fight between her and someone. That is how I am feeling about the board. I am almost starting to dread logging on. I think maybe we will have resolved something and then I see someone else is fighting. Out of the mouth of Rodney King-Cant we all just get along? I guess on that stress scale I am pretty high
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(((((((Kelly))))))) I can relate.
Feeling really exhausted today and just looking for a safe haven.
How are you feeling otherwise? Are you on a more regular diet now?
Love,
Carolyn
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Yes but I keep over eating. Not that it is a lot but that I get too full. Have you ever eaten a Mexican meal with lots of chips and you feel sick? that is how I feel when I eat a regular meal! I should be able to pace myself if I can just slow down!
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Dear Kelly,
When I had my stomach problems,I would eat a handful of food and get so full. It was like a gastric by-pass given by stress-lol.
I hate that feeling. if you take digestive enzymes, HCL, or apple cider vinegar,it helps.
I am tired of stress and drama ,too.
Maybe,learning to cope with all this is part of healing,as well. I think that it is.
My H was talking on the phone with a co -worker. One of the partners is an N.( I diagnosed it) They all have big ego's. There are power plays and alliances ..
Maybe, the goal is to walk through the mine fields simply having your own voice-- choosing who and where you will engage. Maybe, this is a lesson of life--- Love Ami
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Am-I have done enzymes-maybe they will help or I just need to learn moderation! Sometimes I just need to walk away from the drama at work and maybe I will do that here, too. Or maybe avoid got topic threads and lean toward less threatening threads. Problem is most of the people I enjoy are there.
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Where - at work or on the threads.?
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Kelly,
This might sound kinda silly, but can you try using a smaller sized plate or bowl?
That might help you to moderate your portion sizes for now... at least until you get more accustomed to what your new tummy can manage.
I'm with you on walking away from the drama.
If you start threads about topics you enjoy and are interested in, I'm sure that the folks you enjoy would meet you there.
Hope you rest well tonight.
Love,
Carolyn
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I meant on the threads-but I enjoy the people at work for the most part. And as far as plate size? Good idea. If I do not learn before my first fill I will be in a world of hurt! I have heard a lot of people say it comes right back up!
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HI OC
I was meaning to post and ask you about your operation/eating, but it sounds just 'not quite right' for you? Are you in any pain?
I am a person who ignores the disagreements and sometimes miss 2-3 days and hope it's over. The arguments are stressful and totally a waste of time & space. I would not take sides, unless it was truly obvious that I ought to, because of my beliefs.
My only suggestion/whatever is like I am right now. In a wheelchair/ a broken leg/cannot get into my own car to go to the grocery store/ have only one st*** and one ch** left and have been eating sparingly until I could find an idea.
Well, lawsah me! I drive to one store because it is cheaper than the one just down the street. I've always ignored the latter because of its prices until I'd forgotten I can buy f*** there. I am on my last bottle of water.
So come live with me and you won't get much to eat!!! and I can put you to work, making my bed and doing laundry and other things that you will forget about f***, as I do. It's 7:59 and all I've had today is 2 cups of coffee in the a.m. I will no mention the F*** word until you give me the go ahead!
Take good care, and take these horrible dramas on Board with a grain of s***!
Love Izzy
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Dear Kelly,
Hugs to you. My partner and I both find it hard not to `internalize' drama, so i can understand how you feel. I expect that the `deeper' wound being triggered is related to somehow feeling the drama is our fault, even if we `know' it is not. In any case, I know it can be painful being around drama, for sensitive people especially.
I agree that it would be wise to protect yourself from stress as much as possible while you are dealing with changing your eating patterns. It takes a lot of concentration, I know:) A little trick I used to use in my pre-smoking days was to keep some `no sugar' mints around, and when i felt i was over-eating for the fun of it, I'd pop one into my mouth. Or I'd sometimes clean my teeth, to trigger myself into thinking my meal was finished. The other thing that helped was to excercise; it kind of put me in tune with my feelings of hunger and satiation.
Good luck with this overcomer. Please look after yourself; your healing is so very important.
X bella
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Hello Overcomer-
I am sorry that you are having tummy difficulties, and hope that things resolve soon. Your body will adjust, little by little- just be good to yourself OC!
As for the drama on the board and at work, you must remember that some pathologies require more serious attention by 3d professionals, and no amount of caring and support can properly treat them fully. The next time some sort of power-play, guilt-trip or other seemingly juvenile attention seeking drama develops here, I intend to discreetly absent myself . Sometimes providing an opportunity and medium for diverting attention from a compelling need for serious treatment does a great deal of harm to the suffering person, in that their attention is diverted from the real need for treatment and their problem escalates, and I think that this board should limit actions to advice and support- we cannot attempt to practice or replace psychiatry.
Izzy- I am concerned about the impediments that you face getting proper nutrition. Are there places near the medical office where you can pick up some things? Do you have grocery delivery or Pink Dot in your area, or a Meals on Wheels type of system? I am so sorry- will add that to the prayer list.
Love ,
Changing
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Iz And Changing-It is not that it is not working, it is because I fall into old patterns of eating too fast. No it is working but I just need to know that a Lean Cuisine is just enough.
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Bella-Thanks for the kind words. My H is so intense and it gives me a tummy ache. I think all this drama is going to my gut and I just need to have peace so I can heal and move! Plus maybe I stress eat and then be miserable.
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Changing-I agree. Some people need more than a board like this can offer and some people just thrive on chaos! And Iz? I do NOT want to clean but I would drive to the store with a grocery list so you could have some nourishment!
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Dear Kelly,
I think the thing with food is that we use it for "emotional" nurturing when actually it is only a physical process. I see that with myself. Food is much more than fuel to my body. That is how I get in trouble.
It is like trying to use a hammer when you need a wrench.It won't do the job. Love Ami
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And especially now. My tummy cannot take it. I may be stupid but eventually I will learn. If my daughter eats shrimp her throat swells up so she does not eat it. I feel lousy if I eat too much so I need to slow down and CHEW! I did it right after because I had to-and I know I will when they tighten it!
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Kelly this sounds so challenging. You probably have a lot of different approaches you are working on, but I wanted to share. I drink a lot of green tea in different flavors. Sure - I'm off to the bathroom often, but oh well. Also I drink a variety of waters - fizzy, or with a lemon squeeze, or with a dash of juice to give it a different taste.
I feel like the liquids help me transition to smaller food amounts (I ate a LOT while pregnant).
changing I appreciate your thoughts re: the board. That was an insight very helpful. Also Bella that idea of internalizing drama - that is a great tool of understanding.
OC - did I post already about my co-worker who has had the lap band surgery? She and her daughter both have had it and they are very happy with the results and have lost a great deal of weight. She is very satisfied with the whole lifestyle change.
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Yea! Thanks! I know I am trying to adjust to this new smaller stomach which will be even smaller. I know it will work but I have to train myself to be different. Just like when I got veneers on my teeth-I had to re learn my eating habits to keep them from breaking!
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And about board conflict? I plan to not give anyone who is obviously hostile or looking for a fight the courtesy of ANY response and I think if people collectively sent a message to perpetrators by NOT responding, they would get the hint and back off.
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Overcomer-
I love the plans that you have embarked upon- just for yourself! I am so happy for you, and I know that you will be as well (when the new tiny tummy kicks in, and the new pearly whites flash- watch out!!!)
Love,
Changing
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Thanks Changing! You are so nice! I am doing it for myself because I really have a thin person in a fat body but Hormones and stress have taken its toll so I am really looking forward to a new bod!
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Well, lawsah me! I drive to one store because it is cheaper than the one just down the street. I've always ignored the latter because of its prices until I'd forgotten I can buy f*** there. I am on my last bottle of water.
changing (f***) =food ......................don't look OC
I wasn't quite clear on this. I can go one block to a supermarket without taxiing. It is just one that I use very sparingly because of the prices and I'll bet I don't have to shop there more than 1-2 weeks, what with getting a new cast every week, and DAVE giving me a bend in the knee.
Grocery Bags carry on the back of my chair (just like my lost pants at the hospsital) and I just have to remember not to buy enough to tilt me backwards!! LOL and squash all my goodies.
Yes OC
I have heard elsewhere that a lean cuisine is enough.. I have found only one frozen dinner, Chicken Lasagna (Forget the brand, green box in Canada) that is really a meal in itself.
Ixxy
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Well Iz-I am cracking up with the thought of you rolling down the sidewalk doing a wheely in your chair with sparks flying off the grocery bags! And I know you are thin and I wonder if it is just because it is a pain to go shopping? Since you are such a computer genius why dont you order food online?
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Hi OC
It has to do with my independance, and I wonder what I'll be like when I cannot do a thing.
I did the shopping today and am now doing the laundry. The fly in the ointment the is the laundry room door, one floor down, is a heavy fire door and is locked at all times. I can scarcely get in without a broken leg sticking out. It at the end of a corridor so the walls are close and that leaves no room for a turning radius.
Tonight I called the Superintendent and asked her to please go down and unlock the door for me and might I have e wedge until I am finished my laundry. How could she deny me? I've already told her before that I had trouble with the door.
I need the exercise so I do what I do if I can. If I didn't have my stroll around the block 3 x a week I might get lazy, and I know of one woman with a manual chair ,like mine, decided she wanted a power chair. All she had to do was sit and toggle. She was dead in one month because of lack of circulation in her arms, something happened. (I've never forgotten that!, around '75 and she was in the same organization as I.)
I never even checked for food on line--will do though for an emergency!
ta-ta
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Yeah, you could buy those meals like Nutrisystem but you don't need to lose weight. I dunno............it seems to me like you could do it. I would absolutely hate to do laundry like that, Izzy..................what a pain!! Especially with a broken leg....and this is a stupid question, but does it hurt???
So do you ride cabs a lot? Kind of reminds me of the gals on Sex and the City..
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(((((((overcomer)))))))) I can so relate to your post hun. I have been going through similar feelings. So much I am in a deep depression because of it now. I won't go into it with me right now, don't want to write a novel. We have a girl at work that is the same and she is driving everyone nuts. I think everyone has to have at least one. Doesn't help when my younger N Sister is the same way. She sucks the life right out of ya, lol!
I went to the health food store today, a new one. I bought a detox system. I haven't used one is years so I hope this one doesn't make me sick. Some will do that at first while cleaning your system. I have gained a bunch of weight in the last month cause of the stress and feel like crap. A few months back I lost a bunch cause of stress, my brother is dying. :( I just think my body is out of whack so maybe this detox stuff will help me feel better. Have you ever thought of trying one? I am just sick of not feel well, bloating and my glands are swollen.
I hope you get to feeling better. Please keep us updated k? Take care.
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Oh thanks for your post-I often use the phrase SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU! In fact I used it again today but my mom hates it. She also hates the word anal. But I have long stopped worrying about if she approves of the words or phrases I use. I am sorry about your bro that has to be so hard-no wonder you are depressed.
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I have thought about a body cleanse only now I have to worry about putting too many pills in my stomach or consuming too much of anything at once!
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Oh temp (http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)
So sorry about your brother. It must be painful and stressful
Izzy
and OC
no I have no pain from below my knees down. That is why I can joke and cavort around with the medical peoploe. No heat, cold either, but have touch feeling, so would know if you were standing on my foot.
I don't take cabs, normally. I drive my own car. The cast is so stiff and with 4 breaks I don't to mess around until Dr. says it has begun healing . One place with 2 breaks was jagged and one place with 2 breakis , they were smooooooooooooooth and I could 'hear' noises in my leg at first.--moving bones?
Strange how when I broke my leg, I felt it was a sign to slow down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but in what area??? well first, I didn't buy a DVD for 3 weeks, and I noticed I have been eating more sensibly, portion wise, like as huge steak can last me 2 dinners......but yesterday I ordered 4 DVDs, so..........?
xx
Izzy
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