Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: gratitude28 on September 21, 2007, 09:41:30 AM
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Hey All,
I was walking yesterday and thinking about all we have been talking about here... And I was listening to my IPod. I have Ganster rap on my IPod. I have Weird Al, Top 40 country, some 80s rap and club music. How many of you are cringing? My IPod is personal. Only I hear it unless I share it with someone. It IS me. I can hide what is on it if I never let you hear it, but if you are riding in my car, you might hear what I let you hear. If I am feeling cool, I might play a top 40 song... and let the windows down. But then I might get embarrassed and turn it down and wind the windows back up. If I really like you, I might play Weird Al's new songs and hope you like them. If I think you are the Classical type, I probably won't play Snoop.
What is the point? The point is, why couldn't I play all of them kinda loud with the window down? Why do I care about your perception of me???
When my mother was in the car, a song started on the IPod, I changed it to something else and her nasty comment was, "That sounded nice. No wonder you didn't play it." So I turned it back to the Weird Al song, "Don't Download This Song." She did like. it. I assumed she wouldn't. However, were she a kind person, she would have said, "That sounds nice. Can we listen to it?"
So, assumptions, embarrassment, reactions... all over an IPod. And fear of sharing myself.
Love, beth
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Love it, Beth. The subject line alone was a keeper!
You are so right. I love "listening to someone else's Ipod". What if they are listening to something I have never heard before that I wouldnt have known existed otherwise? But I am careful to keep my own turned down low, because there are lots of people who will label you if they can--just to make life easier to navigate.
Who would have guessed that you like gangsta rap? heehee
Much love,
CB
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You can learn a lot about a person through their Ipod!!! :) A few times I have borrowed my H's for exercise or whatever and I felt like I was seeing a side to him I never knew. Hard to put words to my impressions, but it intrigued me and I wanted to know more!
Yours sounds fun! Lots of cool combinations! It is an interesting thing learning to navigate through the reactions of others and the reactions of self. I don't know if we react to people without seeing reflections ourselves and our fears in the mix. We hear the top 40 and we either think, "that person is really with it!" or " no one who is anyone listens to top 40!" Seems to me reflections of self can perhaps either help the understanding and appreciation of another or it can hamper it. It certainly interferes with my ability to share self. Kinda of jealous of those Ipod users who can dance down the street unaware of any scoffs from the onlookers! Why do I need a guarantee of acceptance before I turn the sound up? Like a sour face can change the fact that John Mayer has some genius or the fact that he really reflects me!
Maybe the music you play is the same as me and I love it because I listen to it. Maybe the music you play is something so foreign I can't relate to it and I immediately spew it out of my mouth. Maybe your music is something that is an acquired taste, and if I stick around long enough, I just my fall for it too if I am patient and I choose to listen! Or at least I can love the fact that you love it! I think it is sad when we write someone off because they play a song we don't understand or approve of. Hmmmmmm....
Egad! I am going on and on with this metaphor!! But I kinda loved your Idea, Gratitude!
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This is so good, Beth.
All of us here at home enjoy a wide variety of music styles, too... and I know sometimes my kids don't talk with their about what they enjoy, because they don't want to offer an opening for ridicule from their friends. On the other hand, they seem to have an innate knack for choosing friends who would never try to lay them low simply because of differences like that.
My daughters have made music cd's for me of some stuff to which I wouldn't have otherwise been exposed to... and I love it! Life really would be so dull if we boxed ourselves into one narrow category and refused to hear anything different... from music artists or just people in general.
But music is such a personal thing, I think, because it can have such a strong impact on the heart... and I remember well, in childhood, the cold responses to anything I tried to share like that... even just playing a song I liked on the piano... the absolute zero response. As I've considered how I would have liked to have been responded to back then, I know... it woulda been fine if they didn't like it! What woulda been really great is if they'd expressed some interest and asked me why I did like it. Or do what I do with my own kids and just say... Hey, that's great! Everybody's different! ... and celebrate that fact. That's just one thing I really appreciate about this board of friends. For the most part, we are able to genuinely celebrate each others' differences, instead of trying to erase them or hide them.
On a similar note...
My little boy likes to play chess and he's getting pretty good at it, too! I asked him yesterday whether any of his school chums play and he didn't know. Turned out he was reluctant to ask, because nobody's ever mentioned it and he figured they might think it's dumb.
I just encouraged him to be bold and ask.. because the others may be hiding some of their own interests, for fear of standing out from the crowd. I hope that he'll ask.
Thanks for this topic... shame really is such a pernicious thing. The more we're aware of how it's impacting our own lives, the better we can help ourselves and everyone... including our own children.
Love,
Carolyn
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Or at least I can love the fact that you love it! I think it is sad when we write someone off because they play a song we don't understand or approve of.
Yup. I agree! When you love someone, you rejoice with them over the things they enjoy and that is as it should be!!
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Wow, gratitude, lol....
you're right.... life is sorta like an IPod, lol: )
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I like hearing what is on everyone's ipods. I have a playlist titled 'OBE' for out of body experience. :D
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LOL, Beth!
Music is very personal, isn't it? My partner and I share the same taste in music, and it was actually one the `ice-breakers' that bonded us to each other. So I say play your music loud; you might make new friends!!
X Bella
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I think that having kids opens you up to new tastes in music. My son introduced me to Busta Rhymes(Number One Stunna is my favorite) and I introduced him to Paul Potts. Love Ami