Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: changing on September 22, 2007, 03:05:30 PM
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I woke up this morning to my doggie Sammy barking an alarm bark. The rain had stopped, and I heard an unfamiliar and pleasant male voice calling Hello. Immediately thinking "cops" I peeked through the curtains to see if I should get my shoes on, lawyer's card, etc- I wasn't as stealthy as I had thought-it was a clean cut man in a polo shirt with an aluminum clipboard and he saw me. He said "Bagworm NH?" I retreated behind closed curtains and he called numerous times Hello. Then he asked if Bagworm NH lived here. We were silent inside the house- even the puppy stopped barking.
More money to spend, even though I am not getting more income that I know of- I must get a camera installed. Oh bother.
Glad that I had the fence and locks installed!
Love,
Changing
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((((((((Changing)))))))))) I do so remember those seemingly endless days of ducking and hiding in terror.
My heart breaks for you. Let that mighty trust grow, dear Changing... the One who holds you in the palm of His hand will not let you down.
With love,
Carolyn
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I am so sorry ,Changing. You deserve the best that life has to offer. (((((((((((Changing)))))))))) Love Ami
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Certain Hope You Doll You-
Thank you for your answer. I appreciate your sharing that you had times like these (and you obviously came through them with your goodness and joy intact). You have no idea how that lifts my spirits. Guess what- I hear lightning! Guess I can go do my errands soon, unaccosted!
Thank you for being there for me.
Love,
Changing
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Hi Ami-
Thank you for your reply- it put a happy smile on my face! I am going to have a happy time today, regardless!
Love You,
Changing
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Changing,
Love to you and to Samson and loathe the idea of you hiding
but you will prevail and heal and...
Well, in fact, I don't really see much need for you to heal.
You sound like such a whole person to me. It's like, you are a
whole, sound person who just is enduring an important and
difficult but life-saving operation and a bunch of tedious and
sometimes painful PT afterward, but you know and we know
that you are going to be just fine and stronger than ever.
The prognosis is gooooooooood.
love and woofs,
Hops
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Changing... I'm lost.
Was it your Bagworm asking you if Bagworm NH lived there? Or someone else?
I'm not sure who you were hiding from?
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My Wonderful Hoppy and Lightet-
Hoppy you dunnit agin!!!Thank you for your blessing and prognosis O Wise One and Seer! It is marvelous to have you and your special healing gifts in my life!!!!
Miss Lighter-It was a guy looking for Bagworm apparently. I will look in my mailbox to see if anything was left here.
Thank you Beloved Friends.
Love,
Changing
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Hi changing,
I agree with Hops, always did, but didn't realize that until her post!!!!!
Thinking of you and sending all the power I have to add to yours!
Love
Izzy
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Are you sure he wasn't saying "Wormwood NH"?
If you don't get it refer to the "The Screwtape Letters".
mud
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Incredible Izzy-
I adore the infinity symbol- so classy,like you are ! I am trying to Izzyfy the best that I can so that I deserve your confidence. Thank you for your wonderful friendship and for pointing me down the right road!
Love,
Changing
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::sigh::
I wonder if it was your very own private detective's employee, lol?
Remember what I told you about their not being able to find their own asses with their hands?
Check on'em and make sure they're not charging you to sit and stare at the wrong make and model car (that happens to be the same color) as your bagworm's :shock:
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Gracious Mudpupy and Lighter-
Mudpuppy ( actually my puppy Sammy is also a mudpuppy today because of the rain) I am somewhat culturally deprived :oops:- after your post I read about the Letters and I am going to get a copy today! Unfortunately, Bagworm NH would only qualify as a minor character in the novel, and would never command the attention of the great C.S. Lewis that Wormwood does. My life is prosaic beyond prosaic- if only someone would call out for Wormwood at my front gate- but alas, it remains the same old, same old for me!!!
Lighter Dear-We trudged through the wet grass and found a small pristine white card in my mailbox. The fellow looked and acted extremely well-mannered, not like a typical P.I. His card said that he is a PI/Adjuster- must be something in relation to Bagworm's huge case against his former employer, strictly professional company, so it makes sense. I could contact them and drop many dimes on Bagworm, but my gut (see Ami, I am learning!) tells me that they would look after their own agenda at the expense of mine if it came to that, and I need to get all of my legal matters, etc in place. Bagworm will hear from both the company and me in due time. I have to watch my own interests at this point.
Thank you for your help and bringing clarity to a "muddy" situation.
Love,
Changing
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How is the PI going about finding Bagworm's new address, anyway?
That should have happened by now, seems to me?
So hard for me to be patient.... but being patient with these types has matters has always lead to my getting completely ripped off and left with idiot information I explicitly said I DID NOT WANT and being left without one shred of evidence I badly needed :shock:
Be proactive, on top and don't pay them in advance, for sure: /
You're on the right path.... self interest, self nurture and keep moving in the rigth direction: )
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Hello Lighter-
Thank you for the nudging! I will put that to the forefront!
Love,
Changing
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Changing,
I hope all this calms down for you soon.
I remember the fear I felt when I'd just broken up with my NBoyfriend...I was in the middle of changing the locks, when he turned up, and tried his key in the door. I had to HOLD the new lock mechanism in place on the door frame, hoping he wouldn't realise it wasn't actually fixed to anything. He gave up after a while, and left.
I thought I'd never get through all that, but I did.
I hope you get to better times soooooon, Changing, and you can put all this behind you!
Janet
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That is an astonishing image, Janet.
How brave you were. Are.
Hops
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Didn't feel very brave at the time :(
It's only with hindsight that we realise what we've survived, sometimes.
Janet
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Hi Janet!
What an image!!! My Janet literally blocking entry and making it look like the lock is engaged!!! You are a very brave and crafty creature (Well, I already knew that)!
Thank you for hanging in there for me, I will endeavor to be brave and crafty as well. I hope all is continuing to go well with you and that you are having plenty of rest amidst the hooting of your owls (I adore owls by the way)!!!
Love and Thanks,
Changing
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Changing,
I'm getting more rest than I'd like at the moment - our car's broken down, so we can't go anywhere :(
My husband was rustproofing the underneath of the car today (inhaled the fumes from the paint and made himself queasy), then loosened the exhaust to paint round it...and the exhaust came off in his hand, completely rusted through (the exhaust pipe, not the husband)!
So, we're marooned at home for a bit. No public transport where we live, either.
Yep, listening to the owls is lovely. Raining really hard here tonight, and the sound of that on the conservatory roof is very calming.
I hope you can cuddle up with your dogs and have some nice, safe feelings for a while, too.
Janet
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Thank You Dear!!!
I will get those guys in right away ( though the pup Sammy tries to make sure his black Newfie/Lab fur floats on every inch of my white slipcovers!)
Love,
Changing
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Changing,
People who aren't animal lovers would never understand why someone would have a dog with black fur, and also have furniture with white slipcovers....
I used to have two fluffy cats, and I thought it was normal to always hold my food up to the light, to check it for cat hairs first, before eating it :)
Janet
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Janet-
My puppy was a rescue hound, and I love wood floors and white slipcovers and walls. Oh, by the way, are you saying that there should not be hairs in all of my food???Uh oh!! :lol:
Love,
Changing
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Changing,
I had a sales rep come to my house once (I run my business from home), and he insisted on plonking himself down, in his dark pinstripe suit, on my sofa, without asking first where was the best place to sit.
So I let him. He tried to sell me stuff, but I kept saying no, till he gave up and left.....with a pale grey fluffy backside, because he'd been sitting in Gizmo's favourite snoozing place!
Oh, don't you just love pet hair? :D
Janet
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Janet-- You and Changing are a RIOT Ami
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Talk about hiding, changing
This is the best photo I have seen of a good 'hider'. Can you see?
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Hello My Sweet-
You know that I am not certified Izzyfied yet!!!I tried to clean up the image on Snapfire- It looks like it could be leopard in the corner hiding while a gator in the middle is hiding while a bowling ball cut in half sits brazenly in front??!!?? Please you must tell me what it is...It's only fair,I answered the one about the Woodchucking ChucK!
Love You Silly Izz,
Changing
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I remember my first time alone in the house after my divorce-ex took the girls. I was watching an action flick and was tucked in for the night-lights off-door locked. Then someone knocked on the door. I hit the deck and crawled down the hall. Got to my room and called the neighbor to investigate. Poor guy. After the divorce I used him as the macho man in my life! He talked with the guy at my door-he had a flat tire and needed to call for help (pre cell phone era.) I remember being jumpy!
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I remember my first time alone in the house after my divorce-ex took the girls. I was watching an action flick and was tucked in for the night-lights off-door locked. Then someone knocked on the door. I hit the deck and crawled down the hall. Got to my room and called the neighbor to investigate. Poor guy. After the divorce I used him as the macho man in my life! He talked with the guy at my door-he had a flat tire and needed to call for help (pre cell phone era.) I remember being jumpy!
I can identify with you, Overcomer, lol.
One night the computer's volume, two doors down from my bedroom had been left full volume.
You know the sound of a slamming door aol has when folks sign off?
Well..... I heard it... my girls heard it.... I was up and moving....
before it stopped reverberating in the entrance hall.... where it sounded like it originated from :shock:
I had the bedroom door closed and locked.....
chair wedged firmly under doorknobs....
best weapon (available) IN hand....
and was just wondering where to stuff the children while phoning my 76yo female pal to come search the house with me.
She was my version of your macho man, lol.
She arrived with 7 dogs, one quite large thankfully.
We searched the entire house, top to bottom.... took about 30 minutes of snatching open closet doors, jumping back.... listening for a dogs to whimper.... perk up their ears, lol.
I've hit the floor and rolled on a couple occassions, too.
Nice you had a male nearby to help you.... though 76yo ladies are more a comfort than you'd think; )
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Overcomer and Lighter-
OOH those fearful tales (and tails)- I hope evrything is better now. I am going to put up a camera this week and see if that helps.
Love,
Changing
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Hello My Sweet-
You know that I am not certified Izzyfied yet!!!I tried to clean up the image on Snapfire- It looks like it could be leopard in the corner hiding while a gator in the middle is hiding while a bowling ball cut in half sits brazenly in front??!!?? Please you must tell me what it is...It's only fair,I answered the one about the Woodchucking ChucK!
Love You Silly Izz,
Changing
funny funny you, but you did see part. Here is a larger image, might have to click on it to make it larger.
yes you did answer my woodchucking one and I forgot to acknowledge---not expecting an answer
Love
Iz
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Hello My Sweet-
You know that I am not certified Izzyfied yet!!!I tried to clean up the image on Snapfire- It looks like it could be leopard in the corner hiding while a gator in the middle is hiding while a bowling ball cut in half sits brazenly in front??!!?? Please you must tell me what it is...It's only fair,I answered the one about the Woodchucking ChucK!
Love You Silly Izz,
Changing
funny funny you, but you did see part. Here is a larger image, might have to click on it to make it larger.
yes you did answer my woodchucking one and I forgot to acknowledge---not expecting an answer
Love
Iz
LOL... I was just sure a Hider was a bird and that it was in there somewhere, lol.
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What a lovely kitty! And smart, too- I guess we'll name her Izzy Cat!!!
Love,
Changing
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Now that we mention it, why doesn't Izzy have a cat?
One of those brilliant kitties that you train to use the toilet.
(That's what I'm doing next time.)
hugs
Hops
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Oh I am so glad t hat other people do some of the same things I do. Dont know why I felt safe with three little girls but not alone. My dryer started smoking and I called him over again-after all-he was a fireman! They all hated my ex so his wife did not care. He was way younger and half as tall as I!
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No ladies,
No cat for Izzy. Izzy never had a cat pet. Izzy no like even other people's cat pet. It's a Dad issue thing.
Love
Izzy
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I got my first act three years ago Iz-I just love them-got another one last year-now we have two cats and two dogs! Talk about unconditional LOVE !
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Hi Friends-
The investigator showed up agin tonight- this time his calls were more insistent. Gates were locked and fences secure and covered with tall foliage, so his meanderings around the perimeter produced little, if anything. I was up all night doing papers and citations, and working on catching up on briefing cases for class. I also spoke with the Dean of Students regarding disabilities and Bagworm. She offered a full refund if I withdraw, said I could re-enroll next year (no way- I'm going to finsh- the highest grade on the Bar is passing, so I am not worried about perfection on paper in terms of scores, only as far as becoming competent in my work!!!) I am exhausted and sitting on the floor behind boxes, and I was shaking- I think the PI has gone.
Hope I can have a peaceful day tomorrow! Maybe I should build a moat.
Love,
Changing
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I am sorry that you are hurting,Changing. You are so dear and so feisty. It is heart breaking to see you suffering.I am so sorry.
I wish I could give you a 'real" hug and a real cup of tea on my porch, watching the water.Henrietta(My Poodle) and Mimi ( Yorkie) would keep Sammy company. Dogs at out feet, tea and good friends-- a dynamite combo.
I am wishing peace and God's joy to you, Changing. I wish you the peace that passes all understanding
Love Ami
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Good for you changing, Determined
If I could I would come and stay with you, and beat those people silly, with my leg cast and my crutches.
Now wouldn't that be a picture to behold!!
I am so happy that you will receive a complete refund if you have to drop out, but I gather you are in for the long haul.
Good Luck
love
Izzy
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Dearest Ami-
Thank you for your unfailing kindness. You always lift my spirits so much, and know how to speak to my reptilian brain when I am lost and confused! Puppies and the peace that passes all understanding...those are truly my heart's desires. Just one thing...When are you writing your book?
Love and Thanks,
Changing
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Warrior Izzy-
I feel quite sorry for anyone who you might unleash your great wrath upon. Thank you for being my defender. I don't want to quit law school. I will work as hard as I can and live with the results. I do not want to be working as an 80 hour a week scribbler for a large law firm, so as long as I pass, and eventually pass the Bar, I am OK with that. The Dean looked at my transcript and LSAT and said that there is no doubt that I can get the grades, but at this point I just want to learn well, and finish, pass the Bar, etc. My ortho items will not being getting better in a year, so I am going for it! Izzy, it makes me happy and proud that you stand with me against Bagworm and other would-be intruders. Thank you Dear.
Love, Changing
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Changing... I wish I could join you there behind the boxes and bring you crunchie munchies and something warm to drink.
We'd hide together from the Detective, who you might actually want to consider calling, and giggle while puppy Sam kept us feeling safe.
Going for it in school gives you something really positive to focus on.... so you can't get bogged down with negative compulsive fear and that's a good thing. I get chills every time you reach out for help and people extend their hand and support to you.
You'll be out this next year, this time.
I say we have a burning/scatter ceremony, where you leave it all behind for good, at some point.
Hmmmm... lets see.... where should we dump all this negative stuff.... so it stays there when this is through?
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Changing and Izzy,
You are both so inspiring to me. I know you both would say you just are doing what you have to do, but isn't that what all
heroes say when they're interviewed?
I also enjoy reading the two of you converse.
Izzy- I didn't know you snapped my picture while I was lurking! For someone who no like cats, you were so kind to me when I first
came on the board and needed 'tech support". I wish I could come to Canada and take private lessons with you.
cats paw
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Izzy Lighter and Cat's Paw-
The back of the PI's card this time asked for Mrs. Bagworm to please call regarding the location of NH Bagworm. I agree with Ami about the wisdom of the gut (but don't blame her if I got it wrong, that's on me alone) I feel that injecting myself into this new brouhaha could only bring problems and time wasting for me. I don't want Bagworm alarmed until I get the address, etc, and I know that this PI is interested in his clients' mission , not my personal concerns for safety and security .
I need to get completely caught up (hopefully ahead of the game) at law school, and attend to many pressing practical matters as well. After my chores are finished and Bagworm contained, then I will entertain assisting PIs. At this point, I want NC with Bagworm, not forced contact under stressful circumstances.
Of course, it may be just a matter of time until I am forcibly brought into this new conflict (ugh). I have a fun class today, so I am happy (the happy idiot!) and will enjoy the day. Hope Everyone does the same, and that my Izzy heals quickly and gets help with her transportation and sheets!
Thank you for your steady and loving support- it keeps me strong.
Love and Thanks to All,
Changing
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You don't really have any information to GIVE to PI but.....
he might GIVE you information.
Not sure but.... it's an option.
Besides.... it might be related to something completely different than you think it's related to.... that you wish you'd have found out about?
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Helllo Lighter-
It's all avoidance for now!
The PI came again and left another card with my name on it this time. It says that he wants to speak with Bagworm re a lawsuit that his former company is involved with. I am hectored with demands now, and I don't have the address for Bagworm anyway, I don't want to be involved with questions, etc. This PI wants to further the agenda of his wallet only. This has the distinct potential to go due south stirring things up prematurely and I will avoid the PI as much as posible (I got a camera with microphone for the front- it is astounding! And I stayed elsewher last night.)
I am also avoiding the Dean of Students- she keeps asking for more meetings, meetings- I cannot spend any more precious time or energy with her at this point, and I want her to communicate in writing with me after the offer that she made. I need to get caught up with my work, and my foot and arm/hand etc are in agony- the hand looks ridiculous. I think that she may want me to file a protection order for her purposes (so guards can have police handle Bagworm if he shows up) regardless of the impact on me. No, I am following legal advice, period.
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::sigh::
Trust your gut and take care of you.
I'm a bit more fuzzy wuzzy today than usual :?
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dear Changing,
I am so sorry that you are hurting. (((((((((((((((Changing))))))))))))))) Sending prayers your way-
Love Ami
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Hey Changing,
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you. I hope that everything is ok?
(Am going through a little withdrawal - have been missing your beautifully written, positive posts).
((((((Changing))))))
Peace
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Hello Finding Peace-
I guess my fence didn't provide as much protection as I thought it did. But this board really saved my bacon! I was taking a bath, and the puppy and others were in back. I heard a funny noise, grabbed a towel, looked out and an angry man was on my porch glaring at me(he had scaled the fence). He began not knocking but furiously pounding and screaming at the top of his lungs!!!! This went on for a long time, and he started kicking the door. I remembered a prior post (Please forgive me, I don't remember who posted, but I will look it up and thank you later)- I pushed some of the boxes in the living room up to the door and held on to the knob- then he tried to kick the door and alternated with trying to pry open the handle, etc. He never idntified himself and I was shaking all over. Finally he gave up, scaled the fence again and screamed- "You're served!!!" It was Bagworm's LAWYER!!! I had just gotten a video camera etc, and neighbors saw, and I am having professionals get statements.
Bagworm filed for divorce(I didn't have his address, and he still used a PO box.) He wants me to support him for life, wants me to give him the money that he stole from our account, and wants his things. I packed his things with great difficulty weeks ago, and he wouldn't take them when he brought the cops! Now he is acting as if I want them!
I was told I would need a forensic accountant in order to prove that I didn't take the money that HE took, at the tune of $5,000-$10,000. Praise God- I have a friend at my Credit Union, and she is printing all the statements with how everything under my control was spent (ie $50.00 for Texaco, etc) for free!!!And by accident, the bank where he stashed the $$$ sent me a copy of the check where he cleared out the cash the day of service!!!!Can you spell fraud????Yes, I can!!!!Praise Our Merciful God!!!!!
I got a schedule of Bagworm's games and position in softball, in case he tries to say that he is disabled!!! I also got other great items of proof. However, one never knows which judge or other personage is in whoever's pocket- Please continue to pray, the hearing for support (he is supposed to support ME by law, as I am disabled, but he is demanding half of my pathetic money, even though he took a large joint savings account and hid it, and he is educated and able bodied, plays softball 5 times a week.- he wants to reduce me to nothing. How much more spartan can I get!!??!! (I don't want to know!) He also wants me to sign everything over and buy him a new car (even though he is unemployed by choice!)- it is so outrageous that I have to think that he has bought someone with some say-so. I am steeling myself for a phony judgement, and trying to get everything on the record now, in case I need to appeal- it is so much harder to add things later (even though I don't even have 30 days). Please pray that I prevail at the hearing stage, though. That would be sweet!!!
But God has helped me so much already- the items of proof coming in the mail were like a balm to my soul- I have caught up in law school (the work I turned in was horrible,I didn't sleep for 2 nights at a time, then a little one night, then 2 nights, etc., just typed from memory, etc, but all items but one are ungraded, so I turned off the perfectionist part of my mind, worked ceaselessly,and just did it! Now I can study in peace for the graded items, and I can have a short meeting with that woman at the school. Please pray that I do well in my classes!)
I am finally not so afraid, and am going to put security doors on (I love my pretty front door, but- oh well. It hurts that the pretty things that I did are being destroyed, one by one.) My yard looks like Tobacco Road again, I hate to see it like this, but I am going to pay someone else to pack the Bagworm's stuff and label and initial each box with what is in it, just to preclude any funny business. Then I can set about fixing things again!
I was very shaken by that lawyer jumping my fence, as he has to be unbalanced or unethical to do something that illegal and that scares me- I have good witnesses, and hope to take his eggregious and illegal actions up with the Bar (I am getting my student card soon- how strange to start like this!!)
I have even made up a case file with the responses and evidence, etc., just like the big kids! I am meeting with my lawyer today ( Bagworm and Rotten Lawyer think Im in pro per because I have filed everything that way!! It will be fun when we insert counsel!!!!)
Please pray that I get the house completely cleared before the hearing, and that the judge is fair and Bagworm doesn't get support, our property isn't signed over to him, and he has to give back my money!!! Thank you so much for caring and supporting me, and for the post about leaning on the door!!Oh,and please pray that I find my missing Contracts case book!!! (Lots of prayers!)The funny thing is , with all of this, I am so much happier now than when Bagworm had his foot on my neck (except when I think someone is trying to harm me!)- I am just going to keep going forward. Thank you again for helping me along!!!
Love and Peace ,
Changing
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Dear Changing,
I think that you are having many little 'miracles'(like the lady at the credit union). I am waiting to hear about all your miracles. I really,really think that the Red Sea will part for you.I think that you are that precious to God.
God has a special place for the widows and orphans( what we have been through would classify us "under orphans" I would think).
I can't wait to hear of all the "joy" amidst the 'sorrow" Thanks so much for writing.I felt very unsettled about you. Now, I feel better Love Ami
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Oh Ami-
You have always been there for me, from my first post here. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you and the blessing that you are to me. Hope you have a wonderful night!
Love From Your Friend,
Changing
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Changing,
It all sounds so stressful - I do feel sorry for you right now. But you do have a certain 'strength' coming out loud and clear in your posts. I'm sure it'll turn out OK in the end.
Janet
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Hello Wickedly Funny Janet!
It was super stress plus ultra! But now I feel rather well , actually! I had a whole night's sleep and life is good! Thank you for your post, ansd say hello to the lovely owls!!!!
Love,
Changing
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Oh my changing - your ex is a personification of the word 'chutzpah.' Reflecting upon this inspired me to look up that famous definition of the word chutzpah (which is a timely foil to Ami's post about real orphans) about the guy who killed his parents and threw himself upon the mercy of the Court because he was an orphan. We know that guy - somehow you were accidentally married to him.
Found a lovely little piece about chutzpah and the law that looks right up your street. I think the junior author (Volokh) now writes a law blog too:
http://www.haruth.com/YSyiddishinLaw.html
Was that really his lawyer scaling fences? Maybe it was a process server. Still - guy has a lot of anger - creeepy.
A little further research finds the perfect source for butt kicking supplies:
http://www.boot.com/index.html
What future lady attorney's wardrobe is complete without them? The only questions are which pair would be most aesthetically satisfying and yet supportive to your damaged foot.
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Hello Iphi-
Thank you for the inspirantional reading...I will make sure to put it to good use!Hard as it is to fathom , that was the LAWYER! He signed the papers, and I even got a verification call on tape!!!!
As for the shoes, I would like to hire the guy who fashioned Messalla's chariot wheels in Ben Hur! Have to find the number first, though!
Love,
Changing
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Iphi You Genius-
I just reread your post. Thank you for clarifying something important for me...I am adding that anecdote about the "orphan" with chutzpah to my responses- perhaps my lawyer will excise it, but it will remain the central theme in my mind's eye! Bless You!!! Wow, I'm so happy now with my new inspiration...
Love and Many Thanks,
Changing
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Wow... Changing.
Keep your eye on the ball.
The lawyer coming onto your property and trying to serve you is what they do.
That he kicked your door is a surprise and tried to break and enter but.... the cops pretty much let them do what they want when they're trying to serve someone. They call the cops ahead and you can call and complain but they just say they can do whatever they want. They can sit and honk all day long no matter... they can come onto property and knock away..... disturbing but true.
Do you think that other detective was trying to serve those papers before... and that's why the attorney was so upset when he hiked is ass over your fence, lol?
Oh sorry..... very upsetting and too bad you didn't have a dog that would have scared the snot out of him :shock:
Eye on the ball.....
If he's a stinky pinky lawyer..... eveyone knows who they are and it'll work against your husband in the courts.
Ethical lawyers don't jump fences and attack doors, btw so..... it's a pretty safe bet he's one of the bad guys.
The divorce is rolling and you didn't have to spend any money to get it started.
Now you meet with your attorney and keep building that case.
Can you imagine the judge's face when bagworm starts sniveling out his case?
Snivel boy's excuses for not working ::snapping fingers:: I forget what those were.... can you refresh my memory please?
Have your attorney freeze his accounts.... theres an automatic order of stay but... can they actually freeze the money he stole so he doesn't piss it away?
You're right about his wanting you broke.... in the dirt and bleeding.
That's what they do. They destroy and take and get angry if you don't help them do it :shock:
You're doing all the right things..... SO GLAD schools going OK. Smart smart smart Changing.
(((Changing))) Has your PI given you anything yet? Surely he's been able to follow BW home from one of those softball practices? Yes?
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OMG changing,
I was thinkiing of you when the other posts came up about thinking of you, and look what has happened. Horrendous!!!!
As Janet said, you have strength loud and clear coming from your posts. YOU WILL PREVAIL!
I never had to deal with Divorce/Support/Joint Money etc. but your posts is very enlightning regarding those and you sound very knowledgeable about all of what is on your plate.
How frightening to have the pounding and raging at your door, when you are naked yet and no gun stored on you! That's borderline insanity and harassment.
Prayers for all your dealings!
Love
Izzy
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Hello Mon General Lighter-
The PI and lawyer are totally unrelated disruptions to my peaceful existence!PI/adjustor just wants to depose Bagworm on a matter stemming from a job of his old employers'.
I got a lot of excellent proof stuff- and I got things mailed to me as well!I just hope that things are on the up and up- if not, I will be ready to fight on.
In my state, when a fraud is attempted regarding any community property that specific item is supposed to be given 100% to the innocent party (though I am sure the court has discretion)as an incentivefor honest conduct- that money should be mine 100% by rights when I submit the evidence (but not everything works that way in real life). If the money is spent, then I should get credit for 100% in the split for the savings. Most importantly, I don't want them to award Bagworm support from my tiny money- he doesn't want to work, but could get the money he is asking for with a minimum wage job- and he commands big bucks in his field. The law looks extremely disfavorably upon someone who deliberately sets a thing like this up, doesn't work to avoid paying support, and imposes imputed earnings amounts on them, expecting them to get a job and support the disabled spouse. But there is so much intrigue and unfairness...I am afraid that Bagworm may pull this off, even though he is wrong and a fraud and liar.I haven't been able to accept the real possibility of that injustice yet, and I need to, in order to think clearly and plan for contingencies and appeals. I am going to keep processing this, and hopefully I will get a handle on my irrational feelings. Please pray for me!
Love,
Changing
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Dear Izzy-
Thank you for your post. I know that if you have confidence in me, I am going in the right direction- so I'll keep going!!! Hope all is well and your leg is healed (wounds, anyway).
Love and Thanks, Changing
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Why not have your attorney provide the PI in the work matter with a courtesy copy of the Notice of Hearing in your divorce?
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OK... you spoke to your attorney today, right?
Who are the Judges in your county?
Did your attorney know?
Who do they want you to draw. It's done by lottery here.
IF you draw a particularly bad Judge.... say one your attorney insulted a while back.... YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS and find another attoney that has the Judges ear... not cheating just a fair hearing.
A good attorney will tell you who you need to hire according to Judge selection.
They may be perfect or fine or whatever but..... speak to a couple attorneys and ask who you need to hire, considering the circumstances that arise.
Like I said.... if scumbag hired a shady attorney.... then everyone knows he did bc everyone knows who the shady attorneys are. :shock:
This sounds pretty cut and dried.... not a lot to fight over..... what was scumbag's reason for not working again?
Dont' spend all your money on attorney's fees if you can help it.
You'll end up doing all your own work, which seems to be pretty standard so.... try to stay on top of fees and get a weekly report of hours and explanation.
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Oh Changing,
I am so sorry Bagworm’s paid flunky is now harassing you.
I once had a stalker who did the same thing – feeling helpless in a house while someone is banging and screaming at your door is horrific. I am so sorry this happened to you and am glad it is over. I hope there is some process whereby he can be held accountable.
As far as the ludicrous demands, could this be a ploy? You know, demand the moon and then some – hoping to intimidate you into giving him at least three quarters of it? I don’t know the legal ramifications (or if it would be safe), but I would be sorely tempted to demand the moon and then some right back – kinda like a ha! ha! I am onto you loser?
I admire you so much Changing. You have a tremendous amount of stress on your plate right now – physical, emotional, intellectual, and yet you always seem so balanced and positive, and are so supportive of everyone here. You are the very definition of grace in my eyes.
Much love to you – you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace
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My Dear Iphi Lighter and Finding Peace-
Thank you so much for your informative and inspiring words. I cannot begin to describe how soothing it is to have friends who will keep watch with you during times of impending conflict. The modern world seems so impersonal and always too busy for such things, and I know that I am blessed to have your sincere interest.
The Bagworm does not want to pay any support for his disabled wife, nor does he want her to succeed in replacing her old profession with one that she might be able to manage with her dodgy foot, etc., so he stopped working and is demanding that I support him! As he has take our savings, he has been able to live quite nicely indeed without a job, while I struggle paying the bills. But we shall see how this plays out- I have found so much evidence of his wrongdoings and of fraud in his court documents!
However, I may have to replace my lawyer soon. The lawyer seems almost miffed at the juicy items of evidence that I have found or have been given for free, as now they must be painstakingly added to the initial response instead of gotten in via a long and expensive process. I want as much evidence introduced up front as possible, instead of it being used to try to convince the court to change its decision later!!The lawyer was also bashing a former client whose motion was lost, and starting to scrutinize how much I spent for certain items (believe me, nothing fishy) that were budgeted during the marriage, etc. I felt sick at this, but need to regain my equilibrium back and keep stepping. I called an acclaimed firm and they charge $800.00 per hour. HAHAHAHAHA.
Please pray that I take the next indicated step.
Sincere Thanks and Love,
Changing
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Hello Lighter-
I am so sorry that you have been kicked around so much in the quest for justice for you and the babies. It makes me sick and sad. Thank you for revisiting such a painful ongoing wounding in order to help me.I am getting a new attorney before things really heat up- like now! Mine was making sympathetic noises and talking about how the Bagworm's lawyer must have believed something he said in order to violate the law and try to break into my house! That was it for me. But it continued...how some clients convince an attorney and then it turns out they were lying, and the attorney is glad to lose those cases, have ladies lose their children, etc. No thanks- especially when this person was not even familiar with basic language in the standard form (I had to show it to them). YIKES!!!! I feel that I need someone who is aggressive NOW that I have the evidence, etc (ie when a highly paid man suddenly stops working prior to separation, and then absconds with all of the community funds without givng an address, there are established principles and procedures for this sort of thing and it must be pointed out now, not after some bogus suport is awarded)etc., and will put in the proper work to lay things out and put the objective facts in the record, as well as drawing the rational inferences that have been recognized by the courts- it is so much harder to undo an unjust decision than to establish the facts which are in accordance with the rule of law first. In any case, I want everything on the record NOW, not just some quickie hack job so we can "get all of that to the court later", while I am payimg a man who is not working and spending all of our money, and buyimg a new car, etc.
Thank you for your understanding and direction. Stay strong my friend.
Love,
Changing