Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Lupita on September 23, 2007, 03:41:01 PM
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Am I being harassed? Not openly. But there is something going on in school. My new boss said that his hero is Bill O’Reily a talk show host who is all the time talking about immigration and usually against. My point is not to make a political debate. Please, do not misunderstand me. My boss then said that the USA needs to build bigger walls against Mexico because many Mexicnas are coming into this country. Then he told me that if I think that all those immigrants should at least learn English, I told him that I speak English, Russian, Spanish and French. Then he told me in three occasions that why I did not go back to my country. Today in Sunday school he was there, you know I work in a Christian school, and I have to go to thier church, I told everybody that I became an American Citizen this week and that I was so proud because I had worked very hard for it as opposed to some people who took it for granted when some , not all, just some, were born here by the grace of God. Everybody applauded me and congratulated me, and I said that for me to be an American it was a privilege, and I knew how many people lose their lives trying it, and pay the ultimate price to accomplish their dreams and there I am with my dream come true. He did not applaud. But later he said, oh you will make me cry. I personally think he is not being sincere, but I leave it up to God. And I trust that God will take care of me and protect me from him. Pray everyday that God will change his heart.
Also, teacher bring the students ofr the foreign language class , elementary teachers, and they bring them before time and pick them up after time, and when I get just five minutes late they make everybody scold me. So, last week when a teacher brought children early, I said I am going to the bathroom because I still have then more minutes. Then she had to stay in the classroom babysitting the students. Then when I came back I still had two more minutes and she told the students, Ms. Lupita still has two minutes of brake, so I have to stay here with you for two more minutes. I thought she was being annoying but I was enforcing my boundaries. All year long last year I did not complained. But last week I had a parent from high school since I teach high school and elementary, she was mad at me ofr her child doing bad in my class, so I had to diffuse her anger, and explain that her child needed to memorize the vocabulary, took me time, so I got late to one of the elementary classes and the teacher complained and I got scolded in front of public. What did the boss said? That why did I scheduled a conference when i had another class? I did not schedule a conference. I was taking care of business in the moment they arrived. If I did not pay attention to the parent he also would have been mad at me for not taking care of the parent. So with this man there is no way I can get things well. So, that is why this week I started to tell teachers not to bring children earlier that they are supposed to. My life is hard. But I do not complain, God is blessing me with growing up.
What do you think?
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I think you see how all these problems are helping you grow and learn new skills.
Coping and problem solving are things you're doing every day at your place of work.
This is how people find and build their true character.
Hypachristian boy isn't building much by being a small minded arrogant bigot but hey.... you're working on you...... and that's all you can do.
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Thank you Lighter. It is really disappointing when Christian fellows makes us feel bad. It is sad to be not welcome in your family then not welcome in your work and many other places. Thank you so much for your words.
Love,
Lupita
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Dear Lupita,
I think that you are doing very well and that man sounds like a "snot". I don't know the Spanish word for "snot", but I think it fits him.
Maybe that would be a good nickname for him :D
People always have a struggle adjusting to us when we first set good boundaries.
They will suffer a bit as they wonder what got into you, but you can just smile and know that you're doing the right thing!
Love,
Carolyn
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Lupita-
Please accept my apologies for the bad behavior of your boss. He does not represent all Americans- I am thrilled about your citizenship , and am so glad that you are here.
I also have had some serious rat bosses- some tried to coerce me for sex (ICKKK) some tried to coerce me to do wrong (I had responsibility for money, etc), some tried to get even when I reported criminal acts. Do not take them to heart- when you get a better job, they will fade from memory like a carton of sour milk.
Next time parents or teachers attempt to hijack you or take your free time, make you late, etc. have them make and appointment- they often won't appreciate it even if you are late trying to accommodate them, so get an appointment. I don't want you to be pushed or pulled any further.
Love,
Changing
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When I was young and thought boundaries were just for maps, I got chased around by a boss who kept begging me for "just one blow job...c'monnnnn".
I was so stunned I did the Bambi thing, but still managed to say No. And of course, quit, and lose my income.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
BTW, Lup, I think it's excellent that you simply told the teachers you need them not to bring the children early. What a straightforward, simple solution! You spoke.
love
Hops
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Hoppy-
I am not as nice as you are, I think. I stabbed one really sexually harassing boss on different occasions with a pen, a letter opener, and a fork- he finally got the message!
Love,
Changing
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Dear Lupita,
When I read your post,what hit me was a book that I have on boundaries, It says that we will protect what we love.
What hit me was that we have to do whatever it takes to love ourselves. What is that? That is the million dollar question.
It is so easy for me to love others-- family,friends,dogs etc.However,it feel so "wrong" to love me. Somehow,I HAVE to go against that deeply held and deeply brainwashed message that I don't deserve to love ME
I don't know WHY it is so hard to love and value ourselves. I wish that I could have a short "course" in it and then Poof--I would value myself .
Just wanted to share that I think the answer to boundaries would be to value the thing inside the boundaries---US. Wish that I could give some practical suggestions,but I am "stuck" at this place,too.
Ami
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I stabbed one really sexually harassing boss on different occasions with a pen, a letter opener, and a fork- he finally got the message!
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Changing,
You are one tough cookie! I am in awe!
CB
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:shock:
3 implements it took?
This man was not very bright, was he.
Hops
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Oh Hoppy he was an animal- juries had found him guilty of improper whatever and paid female complainants previously, large sums too. :shock:
The coup de grace came when I threatened both the use of a fork and calling his wife- he whipered like a beaten animal ( You wouldn't do that- she wouldn't believe you- Oh yes I would) :lol:
Lupita- Hope this week is better, and la maestra receives her proper respect in all matters!!
Love,
Changing
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Oh Changing..... I can't imagine myself working with a man I stabbed.....
NO.... working FOR a man I stabbed....
Not once but...
T H R E E Times, lol.
So sorry that happened to you and Blech is right!
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i think that I just 'got" it about boundaries. You boundary is a fence that surrounds you to keep you safe.like a cell wall is around a cell.
The cell wall lets in certain substances and repels other substances. That is our boundary around us. It"should" let in what is healthy for us and push away what is bad for us.
When we get abused, we lose our ability to discern WHAT is even healthy for us. We have thrown away our instincts(IMO) and so we are left as prey-- ready to be devoured. Then..we hate ourselves b/c we know that we are "weenies". We know that we don't have the proper respect for ourselves. Then b/c we have not set up and enforced a boundary,,we scorn and don't respect ourselves.
I see that the boundaries are a fence that we erect when we value what is inside the fence-Us. The answer to how do I get boundaries should be how do I love what I have to protect(Me) This is what I am seeing, anyway Love Ami
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Somebody help me please, I feel very bad.
Today I lucked my self out of my classroom. It was lunch time so I went to the tunch room where teachers were eating together. My boss said if I came into this country swimming. I said that I was not a wet back. He said that he was kidding. In a matter of a milisecond I had a teacher making remarks about why did she have to pay taxes for those ilegals. I said that I have never done anything ilegal in my life. Then another teacher said that why her friend from Africa did not get citizenship and I did. Syddenly I had everybody against me in that table, I believe instigated by him. He is supposed to be a Christian. I am very lonely and sad. I do not know what to do. I called my ex boss who always protected me. He said that I have to talk to this person and if he does not stop I have to write a letter to the school board. I need my job. I am in between situations. I gave my naturalization certificate to the passport agancy and I do not have anything until eight weeks. I cannot apply for another job right now. I am afraid to go to work tomorrow.
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Dear Lupita,
That is sick, evil and horrible. I am so sorry. I wish that I could help you. I would like to give you a nice cup of tea and a soft place to fall.. You are such a dear person and that guy is a BOOB-- and all the lemmings with him.
I am so sorry, Dear Ami
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Thank you Ami. I am sad and scared. Don't know what to do. Should I ignore it? I do not think so. He will escalate. But, I cannot go anywhere else now. I feel hopeless.
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Oh Lupita that is awful and wrong. It's an outrage. I hate that guy! And every single person at that table has some ancestor to thank for immigrating to this country so they could sit there on their lazy cowardly behinds and insult someone who immigrated, showing way more nerve, courage and resourcefulness than they have ever done.
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Somebody help me please, I feel very bad.
Today I lucked my self out of my classroom. It was lunch time so I went to the tunch room where teachers were eating together. My boss said if I came into this country swimming. I said that I was not a wet back. He said that he was kidding. In a matter of a milisecond I had a teacher making remarks about why did she have to pay taxes for those ilegals. I said that I have never done anything ilegal in my life. Then another teacher said that why her friend from Africa did not get citizenship and I did. Syddenly I had everybody against me in that table, I believe instigated by him. He is supposed to be a Christian. I am very lonely and sad. I do not know what to do. I called my ex boss who always protected me. He said that I have to talk to this person and if he does not stop I have to write a letter to the school board. I need my job. I am in between situations. I gave my naturalization certificate to the passport agancy and I do not have anything until eight weeks. I cannot apply for another job right now. I am afraid to go to work tomorrow.
((((((((Lupita))))))
::getting ready to buck Lupita up::
Listen.... you're dealing with a bully.....
he's got small little toadies doing some of his bullying.... it is what it is.
You're still Lupita, legal, worthy and employed by this little hypocrit SO.....
what to do, what to do?
Don't let him know he's getting to you.....
start documenting and figuring out what your rights are.
Make notes about who said what and begin the letter to school board.
You need to feel like you can protect yourself and busy yourself on that plan.... not on being frightened.
Buck yourself up, Lupita.
You can get through this and you can find another job at some point and you can try to keep this little Pig from making you lose your equilibrium.
When you go back to school.... smile and pretend they said nothing. Document. Be confident. Ignore. Think about what you will do to get yourself out of this.
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Lupita,
Hang tough tommorow. I'm behind you. I'm glad you have your ex-boss to talk things over with, as well as this board.
I'm waiting for Hops to come in and do one of her sample conversations between you and these people.
Documentation is important.
cats paw
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Somebody help me please, I feel very bad.
Today I lucked my self out of my classroom. It was lunch time so I went to the tunch room where teachers were eating together. My boss said if I came into this country swimming. I said that I was not a wet back. He said that he was kidding. In a matter of a milisecond I had a teacher making remarks about why did she have to pay taxes for those ilegals. I said that I have never done anything ilegal in my life. Then another teacher said that why her friend from Africa did not get citizenship and I did. Syddenly I had everybody against me in that table, I believe instigated by him. He is supposed to be a Christian. I am very lonely and sad. I do not know what to do. I called my ex boss who always protected me. He said that I have to talk to this person and if he does not stop I have to write a letter to the school board. I need my job. I am in between situations. I gave my naturalization certificate to the passport agancy and I do not have anything until eight weeks. I cannot apply for another job right now. I am afraid to go to work tomorrow.
Dear Lupita,
Hugs to you ! I just can't believe the open racism in that place. What an ignorant bunch of bullies!.
I was bullied and taunted a lot by my brothers as as a child. Nothing was sacred, and the taunts ranged from everything from my appearance, my mannerisms, my speech...everything. And I never had any protection from my parents, because my father is a coward and my mother is an N who spoilt my brothers. This went on for something like 10 years, so it was a case of learning to live with it or falling apart. By the time I was around 15, I learned some verbal type of defenses which really worked for me, and eventually made them back off, which I'd like to share with you.
My verbal defense in your situation would have been to totally agree with their comments, and then grossly exaggerate the story. For example, I'd probably have nodded in agreement with the swimming to the US part and said `yep, it was really tiring and I had to fight sharks!, see heres the scar (and show them a paper cut or something) and when they accused me of being illegal, I'd say have said `yep, and I also have aids, anyone want a date?'
I think people don't know how to take these kind of comments. It mildly entertains them, but also shows strength and wit that scares them off a bit. Mostly, it gives them the opposite reaction to what they wanted, which was to see you uncomfortable.
I don't know if this is something you could try?
Anyway, mostly i just wanted to offer you some comfort, and to let you know that you don't deserve this treatment from anyone. You are special lady, and they are morons.
love to you,
Bella
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Thank you Bella. That sounds like something good if I knew it before.
Is this an example or documentation?
OK Dear friends, God bless you. Let us document.
First week of school he said that his favorite hero was Bill OReily who always talk against immigration. I felt sad but I did not give it any importance.
Later that same day he said that this country should build bigger walls against Mexico because too many people are coming.
Next day he asked if anybody had anything good to say about the school. I said that I found many friends there. I just wanted to be nice. To suck up in a good sense. He pretended not to understand my English and the pastor very funny yelled at him, pretending he was translating "She said that she found friends here".
Later that day I said "Buenos dias" Spanish for good morning, and he again put a face as if I was speaking in russian, and I said I just said good morning. Then he said, "if I was paying attention to you I would have understood" I felt very bad.
Three weeks later he called me to his office to ask about my family and he said if I thought too many Spanish people were coming into this country. I said that in 50 years it would be the biggest minority. He said that he would not live to see it.
Then he said that if those ilegals should learn English, I said that I spoke English, Russian, French and Spanish.
Yesterday he gave me flowers and bought a cake to celebrate my citicenship. Invited everybody. Only ten people went of the 78 people in the school. I believe he wanted to check how many people liked me and feel free to atack me.
Today I lucked my self out of my classroom. It was lunch time so I went to the tunch room where teachers were eating together. My boss said if I came into this country swimming. I said that I was not a wet back. He said that he was kidding. In a matter of a milisecond I had a teacher making remarks about why did she have to pay taxes for those ilegals. I said that I have never done anything ilegal in my life. Then another teacher said that why her friend from Africa did not get citizenship and I did. Suddenly I had everybody against me in that table, I believe instigated by him. He is supposed to be a Christian.
If he goes around telling everybody how much damage he thinks Spanish do to the world, when they see me they see a representation of something bad. I have not done anything bad. I did everything in the right way.
Where is Hop? As our firends here say she has good examples of conversations. My ex boss says that I have the obligation to talk to him tomorrow.
Lighter says I should not. I kind of agree with Lighter in that, but I know that I want to be a Christian, a good Christian and I would like to talk to him if I get the courage.
Tomorrow early, before chapel.
Of course, as soon as I find a chance I will leave. I want another job. A job where I do not have to go to church.
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Hopalong, where are you? I need your conversation example before I go to work tomorrow. I leave my house at 6:00 AM East time. Come on girl friend. I need you.
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(((((Lupita))))))) I am so sorry that these ignorant people are not respecting you.
Your documentation is very, very good.
I wonder what would happen if that man knew you were keeping a record?
I think he needs to know.
Please just remember how very special and loved you are and do make sure you continue to write down these incidents, with dates and quotations,for the record.
More hugs to you... take good care of yourself, Lupita.
With love,
Carolyn
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Lupita-
I am just sick about the bestial treatment that you are receiving. It seems like you feel that the behavior is racheting up, and your job seems insecure. While you are reliant upon this job and don't have your papers, etc., be sure to keep calm and not say anything which might be interpreted as insubordination, etc. - no wisecracks which might be misconstrued. Be pleasant and do not respond in kind if you are taunted at this point. Keep a written log of all interactions with the dodgy types, and keep strict track of your time and duties, and log these also.
Keep clear of controversy. In the meantime, freshen up your resume and save any money where you can. Research other interesting job opportunities that you qualify for, and start gathering applications. Have free fun and recreation. Take good care of yourself. When the time comes Lupe, you will be ready, in control, and can make your move.
Love and Buena Suerte Lupita,
Changing
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I am checking the internet everyday for openings. Bad is that the openings were at the beginning of the year when I was feeling so comfortable that I decided to stay there. Now there are no openings. But you never know. I will be prudent and keep my eyes opened. Thanks Change.
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Lupita,
What is the reason you are obligated to talk to him tomorrow? And if Hops doesn't log in tonight, what kinds of things do you need to address when you talk to him?
cats paw
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My ex boss who used to pretect me last year, I called him today, and he said that I have to talk to him and tell him that he is hurting me. Then, if he does not respond, I have to write a letter to the school board. But first I have to talk to him.
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I am going to salsa class now. I will be back at 10:30 East time. I have to see bad boy today. On top. I have bigger fishes to frie. I have bigger worries, unofrtunately. Now, sexy dancing bad boy seems to be something very small compared with being discriminated against in my job.
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My ex boss who used to pretect me last year, I called him today, and he said that I have to talk to him and tell him that he is hurting me. Then, if he does not respond, I have to write a letter to the school board. But first I have to talk to him.
Dear Lupita,
I think your ex boss gives very good and wise advice.
Maybe you can just say that one thing in your own words... simply as possible...
"Mr. _______, your remarks about immigration and my (ethnicity?) are hurting me and damaging my reputation in the eyes of my colleagues here. I value my job and my students and I'm asking you to stop making these inappropriate comments. Thank you."
Short and sweet?
With love,
Carolyn
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Dear Lupita-
I know that you will find a better position soon, so don't give up or lose patience to do things in your own sweet time. The papers will come back soon. In the meantime, you get your resources together, just like an army. Get your resume perfected ( and you now have your new citizenship status to add to it!) Put as much money away as possible- you will feel more secure and will have more choices with a larger piece of cheddar in the bank. Get your interview clothes together. Exercise and brush up on any skills that may be rusty. And don't let those ignorant savages bring you down. At this point, your job is simply business, your business, and those hyenas (not colleagues) there are not worth your precious time or emotions.
We here care about you, and are adamantly opposed to everything that any imbecilic types say to rile you up. You are far too classy and sophisticated a lady to have to respond to those puercos grunting in their pens. I am praying for you and your son, and I know that you can overcome it all. Stay strong and build up your stockpile!
Love and prayers,
Changing
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Hi hi.
Lup, I'm disgusted too. A Bill OReilly fan, eh?
I heard on Air America tonight how Bill gave a big yak about how he just went to a restaurant in Harlem and he was AMAZED that it was just like any other restaurant, in spite of all the black people, and that everyone was "very respectful" because of course, "They all watch The Factor."
Your boss has a serious case of enormous ignorance. That sure puts a personal face on prejudice. I'm very sorry.
You have to speak to him about it because that is your first step in case of any future legal proceeding. Your former boss is right. It's an EEO issue. (Equal Employment Opportunity). And could morph into harrassment.
I don't have anything birlliant, except that it can be brief, there is no reason for you to feel vulnerable. You just need to make eye contact and say:
The remarks you make about immigrants and the other comments you make about my language, accent, how I came to America, etc. are offensive to me. I feel isolated and disliked when you make these remarks, and the teachers follow your example. Please stop making remarks about my ethnicity. I am an American and I am not here to be harrassed because of your political opinions.
Something like that? I don't have any first-hand experience...but that's how I'd handle sexual harrassment, and racial/ethnic prejudice is very similar.
Good luck, Lup.
love,
Hops
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Lupita,
The point I wanted to make is does it have to be tomorrow? Yes, it is always the first step, but I was hoping you'd have a little room to take a breath and perhaps kick it around here a bit. If you even need to kick it around any further. Glad to see you went out tonight!
You've gotten some of those great role playing conversations, so if tomorrow has to be the day, or you want it to be the day,
go for it!
cats paw
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This will help you think about it, i believe, Lupita...
http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/harassment-facts.html
hugs
Hops
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Dear Lupita,
I am so sorry for your problems, the harassment.
Reading this story of yours is very disheartening. It makes me sorry to be a 'human' when others can behave this way against others!
I have read the posts and believe you have been given good advice and support.
I wish you well.
Can anyone say if this is also slander? The spoken word with witnesses = Aha? The spoken word of lies!
Love Izzy
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Thank you dear frinds. Thank you to all for your support. It seems like and endless point of deffending my self all my life, against my mother and other humans. I cannot have peace. God is putting me in this situation. Please, pray for me. I will use Hop speech if I get the courage to talk to him tomorow. I feel sorry for my self for the first time in few months. God help me to survive. I hope.
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Please pray for me, I just need to survive, jsut to live to the next day, please god help me, plase, help me, please God be with em, Please God I need your help.
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Please God I just need to put beens on my table. That is all I want. I am a good persone. I am a goos Christiian. I need friends.
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I just wanted the amrerian dream, liberty and to pursue mydreamns, to be an americabn,I am an american now, just want to wrok in in oeace, to love my students, to eb free, to wrok hard for this wonderful country, I am an american, I am rpouud to be an american please God ehlp me!!!!
For am Proud to be an american where I least I say I am free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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God!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help me!!!!!! I am your child God!!!!!!!!!!
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God, I am your chld, do not abandone me, please!!!i
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Lupita,
God has not abandoned you. He never will.
If you feel abandoned, it might be that you have abandoned yourself?
I see you crying for help---can you cry to another part of you for help?
You have been through awful agony with hurting words.
Ask God to "Forgive them for they know not what they do"?
There is no human who can help you but YOU!
Here you will hear things like I have just said, but I cannot lay my hand on your hurt and have it be healed, as Jesus did! Those were the good old days!
God has not put you in a situation. You have stumbled across a situation on your own and He is waiting for you to manage it.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could email God with our problems and He could plunk us down on the right road?
Hang iin there
Love
Izzy
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Ahhhhhh, Lupita.
God has not abandoned you.
This is a trying time for you, I know.
So much pressure and stress and now it's like a bomb went off in your world.
Please...... make some tea... not sure caffein is good for you right now but....
You must calm down so.....
Something warm and comforting to drink? Good
Listen.....
That small minded little bigot must be some kind of intimidated by you, your education, ability to speak so many languages..... that he can't keep his idiot mouth shut.
Sure, he's a bigot.
But.... the thing is.... he's a cruel bigot.
Please ask yourself.... what happened to this man that he's behaving this way?
What's going on in his life that he's so hateful and risking professional and legal trouble to say such bigoted and hurtful things?
Something's going on in his life, Lupita.
Please, put the helmet on, don't internalize the things he's saying..... they're age old coping mechanisms for small people to feel better about themselves by tearing down groups of people. Same old same old.
Identify it for what it is.... NOTHING PERSONAL..... ignorant and PLEASE....
be glad that you AREN'T THOSE THINGS.... today.
Breath deeply and notice what you do have in your life....
think about escaping that place and finding satisfaction in your workplace with equals.
Get out your prayer book.... the prayer attributed to St. Francis.... calm serenity.... protection, Lupita.
Avail yourself to your own strength.
You're stronger than you know.
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Lupita,
While you assert yourself, pity him.
I mean biblical pity...which is sorrow and compassion.
It is a sorrowful thing to be so insecure you can't see other human beings,
just categories. How small he must feel. How frightened.
You have more power than you know.
hugs
Hops
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Lupita -
I have been praying for you and will continue. I am also going to request special prayers at the church. Your job now is to take care of business. Don't despair, dear Lupita-you are more than your circumstances. Go through your day taking care of your work and home priorities, ignore the riff-raff, save your money, and secretly prepare yourself for whatever comes or whatever you want to change. This may blow over soon- sometimes the swine get distracted by other pressing matters in their swinish lives. In the meantime, you will be steadily adding to your security and ability to go elsewhere, if you decide that that change is needed.
You are a good , capable and intelligent lady, and can go into that workplace knowing that God is protecting you, and you can hold yourself above the abhorent activities and vulgar hurtful talk some there indulge in. In due time, when you are prepared and secure in yourself, you can make your move. Please know that I care and am thinking of you, and have confidence that you will judge the situation and do what is right at the right time (don't let anyone goad you into hasty talk or action in response to their cruelty- you are above them in every way).
Love,
Changing
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Well, I talked to the pastor. Since the school is a church school. I told him everything. He said that he was sorry I was feeling that way and that Dr. U's behavior was inappropriate. At least I got some validation. He said that he will pray and find the way to address the issue.
At the mean time, I will follow most of your advises. Save as much as I can. Almost nothing. I am paying too much to the doctors and hospital after my surgery. Twenty dollars a month to each person sums an amount of 220 a month, I am broke. The only pleasure I have is my salsa classes.
But I will check the internet every single day and as soon as I see a position open I will apply. Teaching positions are full at this time. They were filled before the starting fo classes. But I will keep my eyes open. Buy newspaper every Sunday, and check county's website everyday. As soon as I can I will go. At the mean time I feel much better after the pastor told me that he was inappropriate. I do not know if that is good or bad. But I feel better. It is out of my hands.
Thank you for your prayers.
At the mean time, think that everywhere I am going to find racist people. Everywhere. Wherever I work I am going to find racist people. But I want to find a place where the boss is not.
God bless you.
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You are strong and getting wiser every day, Lup.
Perhaps there's one other teacher you could tell privately, it's hurtful to me when there are conversations about immigrants when I'm standing there. I am so proud to have become an American, and people have no idea what I've been through to accomplish this.
Or if there's noone to trust, keep telling us. We'll be here.
Lots of love and strength and GOOD FOR YOU for telling the truth to power (the pastor).
He may fix it in some way or may not, but you gave him an appropriate responsibility to hear you.
Bravo.
love,
Hops
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Here I go. I am going to school. If this jerk makes any one more remark, I will tell him that his remarks are offensive and hurtful and that other teachers are following his example and that is not Christian. Pray for me.
I will keep my eyes opened. Check websites and buy newspaper.
I went to dance class last night. Sexy dancing bad boy was not there. I missed him. What is wrong with me. Like the adrenaline of disfunction.
There were other men that wanted to dance with me, but it is not the same. I was depressed because of my a*s hole boss. I really dislike that man.
I am very sad because of my job. Not only have to battle with teen agers, but put up with the boss. It is outregious.
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Dear Lupita,
I am praying that you'll have an excellent, successful day, filled with learning and joy.
Your boss sounds like one of the angriest teenagers who never grew up emotionally. Whether he ever does or not, I am sure that you'll learn to be yourself no matter what circumstances (and overgrown brats) surround you!
With love,
Carolyn
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Not everyone's life is this hard, Lupita.
It takes a lot of strength to navigate the path you're on.
Keep learning and growing.... I love that you seem to be feeling better about asserting your boundaries with bigot boy boss.... it is innapropriate and you can say that without having too much trouble handling any response he gives you.
What's he gonna say?
(((Lupita))))
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Dear Lupita,
You "want" the bad boy b/c he is a "drug". We all understand that,I think. It is part of our problem. The 'high" feelings from" the bad boy" take away pain.
I had a thought.It may make no sense. . It would be very,very hard to get in to this zone. However,if you could ever show love to your enemies( bigot) , it will make "shame come down on his head"( as the Bible says)
I did this with the woman who came to my house --hating me and wanting my H They were jealous of me ( they had not met me) ,but they wee jealous of my circumstances and had joked about me etc.
I managed to get in a space where I was letting God's love flow through me. They loved me by the end of the night. They told my H this the next day.
I think that your situation would be much worse than mine. It will work, BUT it is so hard to overcome our natural instincts which is to KILL him.
Whenever I have met hate with love, hate dissapates ,but I do not do it enough at all.
I had a small instance with my S(older). He was being mean to me. I made his favorite dinner and called him down.When he came down, he started crying b/c he felt so badly about how he was treating me.
Just a thought to add to the others.I am sorry you are going through this HELL, b/c that is what it is.(((((((((((((((((Lupita))))))))))))))))))))) Ami
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Dear Lupita-
I am so sorry that you have to be hurt and stressed in this way. I just pray that these creatures did not rob you of any of your joy at finally getting your citizenship. Please know that I am very excited and pleased about your new citizenship, and feel honored that you have chosen to join us here, and bring your unique gifts . We all need to work together in respect and mutual appreciation!
I respect your commitment so very much. You are working in a very responsible position and taking loving care of your son amidst many obstacles ( and low-minded people). I know that you will continue acting in wisdom and integrity to make your way and handle life's situations in the way that you know is best. Remember that God is in control, Lupita. Just release your stress as best you can, and enjoy the things and people in your life that you love ( don't let extranneous things take over, life is too short!). There is a solution out there and it's coming to you.
Keep dancing and keep strong Lupe.
Love,
Changing
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I am mad, because he did something very bad and he got away with it. I am mad becasue he humilliated me in public and nobody cared. They really agreed with him. I am isolated again. I am alone. He destroyed the little confidence I had built with so much hard work. He broke me. Just like my mother. He knows he has the power. That is why I am mad, sad, and depressed. Because I am powerless.
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I know you feel really bad but......
I don't see you as powerless.
Have you contacted the board yet?
You have that option, but just not availed yourself to it yet?
He hasn't gotten away with it, either.
He's still stuck being that pompous bigoted ugly prig.....
and he'll still be that PBUP in the morning: /
You, on the other hand.... will still be Lupita with a good heart that doesn't slap other people around in order to make themselves feel better about being a PBUP, ya know?
You can escape him..... he can't escape himself :shock:
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I felt so ugly today. I saw a lot of rwenkles, bags around my eyes, I am 50 and look like 65. I looked so short in front of the mirror of my dance school. I felt that nobody wanted to dance with me last night, I danced with an old old man, with knee replacemente dancing kriply. Very nice man, but I really wanted to dance with somebody who dacned well. When I finally got a good dancer he was tired, or I percieved him tired of me because he was more advanced. I see my rhynophimosis, nose as a clown, and ugly feet. Those hypochristians, I cant believe they are "christians" I am so disapointed!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for your words Lighter.
I guess I need to start with my affirmations again.
I am going to check websites now. be back.
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I went to the two counties where I am the closest. Nothing. I checked the newspaper on line. Nothing.
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Daer friends, I need some encouragement to be able to endure th isolation at owrk tomorrow. Theya re isolatine me. Please, firneds give me techniques to endure tomorrow, give me techminiques to have a nice day tomorrow. I want to sing with my students, I want to demonstrating my love to them, fater all, the kids are the onlything that keeps me going. Iwant to sing tomorrow as loud as I can with my baies, my 18, 19 year old, they are kids. I ant to teach them that I am a good person and love them and I almost do anything for them. That if I did not have to pay rent and eat, I would teahc them for free.
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Walk in with your chin up and a secretive smile on your face, and sing all day with your students.
Walk in like you OWN the joint and know your way around and you are the CEO.
Yyou have breaks? take a short walk alone and look at pretty things, then go back to class and sing some more.
You'll get through
Good luck, Lupita
Love
Izzy
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I agree with Izzy, Lupe.
I think you don't have to PROVE that you are a good person to your kids, Lupita.
Just smile and be open to them, and sing. It will be okay.
Take your own tomorrow back. It belongs to you.
Take tomorrow for yourself, your inner peace.
love,
Hops
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I'm cheering for you Lupita, I know you can rise above. Focus on your kids and appreciate every great interaction.
When I know people don't like me, sometimes I am extra solicitous, considerate and sweet to them, just to piss them off... but not compliant - that isn't what I mean. But you know, compliment the guy's shirt, something like that - throws him off his stride. 8)
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Heh... Iphi...
I had to see a lot of someone, who was ignoring me painfully, under excruciating circumstances, not long ago.
The first time I saw them, I snubbed back.
The second, ::shaking head:: I just couldn't be that silly, lol.... so....
I complimented them and was thoroughly tickled at a deep slouching "Hmph" in return, lol.
OMG..... life is so much better when you're not tied in knots, all freaked out.
I wish I could bottle it....
and share it with Lupita....
with everyone here....
with me: /
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lol Lighter. You probably exploded that person's head, lol.
That was a good move.
X Bella
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I was saying this on another thread. The Bible says that if you are kind to your enemy you shall heap burning coals of shame on his head( VERY loose translation)
It works---but it is hard to give up the natural ego reaction which is to kill them Ami
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There I go. I will put make up. I will dress nicely. I will sing and teach my students to dance salsa. We will enjoy. After that we have conference night. I will tell the parents how much I appreciate your children and ask them for help to memorize the voacbulary. After that I am going to salsa dancing, from school.
On Sunday in church I will talk to Mr. V my ex boss. He is powerful in the church and he is Latin. The president of the school board is my Sunday school class and is a good friend of Mr. V. I will talk to him too. Also I will talk to a lady who is Latin. She is very influencial in the church too. After that, there is nothing but wait in the Lord. Look for another job and pray. I will definitely look for next year. Now all positions are closed. Everebody has their personal at the beginning of the year. Now nothing. ON April they start advertising openngs again. I will inervew on summer ofr a different job. I will do that for sure if I survive this. God will not abandone me. Also I have my odcumentation here. I just have to go and print this thread.
Also, yesterday, nobody talked to me ar school. That man has isolated me. The custodios talked to me. They said they are my friends.
My hallway, nobody talks to me. They turn their head other way when I walk by. I say good morning and they do not answer back. It is OK.
I will sing with my students and they will hear me singing.
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Lupita,
You are going to be okay. I am so sorry this is happening to you. But you are worth a million of those snotty teachers.
I'll be thinking of you today. Wish I could practice my Spanish with you.
Love
CB
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((((((((Lupita)))))))) Just a note to say I am thinking of you and I hope you have many smiles today!
With love,
Carolyn