Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: axa on September 24, 2007, 05:38:34 AM

Title: Hello
Post by: axa on September 24, 2007, 05:38:34 AM
Hi everyone,

Tried posting during the week but lost connection.  i do not have regular access to internet at the moment but hopefully that will change this week.

I miss you all so much.  Arrived safely in my new city.  My friend here has been so helpful.  Most of my time has been spent cleaning the house i am renting and also trying to organise bits of furniture from charity shops......... good way of getting to know the city. 

I need to rush now but will try and post again soon.  It has been strange, exciting, scary, just about everything but had a lovely weekend.  Stayed in my friend's cottage by the sea, Sunday was a beautiful day and walked on the beach which was lovely.  Had a real sense of my D being with me which made me sad and so blessed.

Much love to all,

Axa
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: pennyplant on September 24, 2007, 06:00:32 AM
Good morning, Axa!  My very best to you.

Love, Pennyplant
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: lighter on September 24, 2007, 06:25:42 AM
((((Axa)))

Picturing you safe and happy in a cottage by the sea.....

makes me very happy.

I'm so glad you have a friend in your new city and they're providing a place for you to perch and breath.

Nice that your D's presense feels close and you're comforted by it: )
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: CB123 on September 24, 2007, 07:00:31 AM
Oh, Axa!!!!

I wish I could have seen the sea!  I can just picture you walking along it:  ready to step into your new life and feeling your daughter's presence there to usher you in.  She is always going to be with you at these important times.

Come back as soon as you can and tell us all about your adventure.

Love
CB
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Overcomer on September 24, 2007, 07:19:32 AM
 Welcome back!  It is so nice to see a familiar name appear!  I have been shopping nautical themed items so I am in the mood!  Can you describe for us any scenery?
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Ami on September 24, 2007, 09:20:29 AM
Welcome Axa,
 It would be hard to be away from your board friends, for sure. You sound good. I am very,very inspired by your courage to move to a whole different place.
  I have so much respect for you that you can handle such a big life change so well         Love  Ami
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Hopalong on September 24, 2007, 12:00:03 PM
Happy New Beginnings, Axa!
You made it across that threshold.

I think your D is especially with you because she would be so happy for you, so glad that you have moved into your own destiny.

love
Hops
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: cats paw on September 24, 2007, 04:20:23 PM
Axa the Awesome,

   Though I've not posted to you very often, I just wanted to say I count you as one of the wonder women on the board, and I enjoy hearing about you.

cats paw
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Certain Hope on September 24, 2007, 04:40:33 PM
((((((((Axa)))))))) You sound very wonderful to me.

I'm so glad for you that you're receiving such blessings... and peace.

With love,
Carolyn
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: isittoolate on September 24, 2007, 04:54:51 PM
(((((((((AXA)))))))))))))))

Sounds absolutely GREAT!

Izzy

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Title: Re: Hello
Post by: teartracks on September 24, 2007, 06:44:24 PM



Hey axa,

Happy for you.  Good to hear that all is well and progressing according to plan.

tt
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: axa on September 24, 2007, 10:25:59 PM
Thank you all for your encouragement. 

My adventure, well, I am the queen of merging at this stage.  I moved into my house but spent the last week cleaning.......... don't think the owner understood the concept.  I ended up painting some of the rooms, buying all sorts of essential things but it helped me negotiate my way around the city.  I have spent much of my time in charity shops looking for old furniture to fill the house.

I met up with some of my fellow students last night, seem like a nice group of people, even a few Yanks in the group!  So far I am the oldest person on the course but that is okay.  I met my neighbour yesterday and she seems like a very nice person and is interested in going to some concerts if I am interested........ good start.  I have met lots of really interesting people in my week and that has been very exciting.

Emotionally I am doing ok.  I guess being busy really helps, I hardly have time to think about anything, such a contrast from my old life.  I have had a few weak moments when I felt lost and unsure but that like everything else passes.

I am left with the feeling that the sooner one can reclaim ones life after an N the less important they become in ones life.  Maybe this is a bit too simple but the energy of meeting other people, engaging in life does seem to shift things.  I think that I have in the past allowed the N in my life such power.  In my passivity I cut off from life and allowed the N to poison me even after they were gone.  I am not sure if I am free of XN as I know there is still some resentment and anger in me but it seems to lessen.  Thankfully my resolve to stay away from him has not changed. 

I think what is to the fore in my mind is to not allow anyone control me again.  I want to claim my life and live it to the fullest.  I am a bit daunted by the prospects of the study ahead but will take it one day at a time. 

When I came on here last year I made a list and it lead me to this place.  I think it is time for a new list and will start another thread on that one.  I think it is so important to have a focus, reaching out beyond ourselves so that we can know just how resourceful we are.

Back on the internet so will be posting again regularily.

Axa
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Gaining Strength on September 24, 2007, 10:35:23 PM
Quote
I want to claim my life and live it to the fullest.  I am a bit daunted by the prospects of the study ahead but will take it one day at a time. 

Sounds like you are well on your way.  How I admire you Axa.  Here you are in a new place starting a new course in life at your age.  You are brave, courageous and adventurous.  I tip my glass to you.  Cheers!!!!

You are in your new home but you are just a click away from your friends and supporters here.  I have no right to speak for anyone else but I am simply echoing what I had seen others write - you are well loved here and you will be in your new home as well.

Welcome home - your friend - Gaining Strength
Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Hopalong on September 24, 2007, 11:33:59 PM
Axa, I would so love to be haunting the consignmet shops with you!
And painting.
My inner denied decorating demon salivates at the thought.

soak it up!

love
Hops