Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Lupita on October 15, 2007, 08:32:12 PM
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I cant. The resto of the people are on his side. I wanted to get rid of me and he planned it very well. There is nothing I can do. The only thing I can do is get out of there. As soon as I see an opening I will apply. I will copy and paste the e mails that I wrote today at three in the morning.
Dear Mr.
I am writing this e mail in the middle of my desperation. Dr. U does not like me at all and I feel he wants to get rid of me. He has told me very ugly things, then he said he never said those things. He asked me if I came swiming to this country in front of other teachers, the other teachers attacked me also. He constantly makes remarks against Spanish people in front of me, I feel provoked.He constantly pretends not to understand what I say. The las Friday he told me that parents are coplaining about my English, my English is very good and have never had problems with it. He comes every single day to my classroom. But he never comes to my best classes, he comes to my sixth period, after lunch, almost about to go home, and they are restless, full of sugar, but still the class is very good, but he has never said anything positive to me. I work very hard, I invite you to see my classes, they are excellent.
What I am asking you is to please, help get a job somewhere else. I need to get out of there. I do not want to make waves, I do not want to respond to his attacks, I only want to get out of there. But the websites are almost empty, no openings at this time. Please, help, in the name of Jesus I am asking you to help me.
I am not going to church becasue I was invited to play the piano in another church.
Please, can you help me get a job somewhere? anywhere? In the name of Jesus.
Dear Mr. And Mrs. V, Dear Betty, please, please, I need friends that can give a professional advise about what to do with my problems at school. If you were so kind to give me the words I should use, to help me have the attitude, how to handle my situation.
During the summer I did not look for a job. I had signed a contract with Mr. V. I had reasonable expectations to be safe and happy at BCS. It was wonderful until two weeks ago when my saga started. There are no openings at any place anywhere at this particular moment. Plus, I would like to get the bull by the horns and deal with the problem and turn it around. That is what I would like to do. To stay at BCS. But I feel so bad there. If somebody helps me.
The problem has to be addressed to my boss. I do not know how to.
If you are so kind to minester to me in that aspect of my life. I do not have any pleasures in life, I do not have boyfriends, I do not date, I have a very pure life. The only thing I do that really gives me pleasure is dancing. I love dancing.
Just need to make clear that I am not asking you dear borthers in Jesus, to talk to anybody, just to tell me how to do it. I do not know how to, not unly for a cultural issue but also because I am not familiar in how to do it. All the time, I never deffend my slef, I only run away, never confront the abuser. I want to stand up for my self this time.
Dr. U has been in my class almost everyday. That is not bad. That is a very good thing. And, always we are doing something. He has never been there and find me doing nothing. We are always working. Still, he does not have anything positive to say. "Are the children understanding what they are doing?
Today, Mrs. N told me that she hated illegal immigrants. That never happened before. Why did she have to tell me that. Not only that, but she went to Dr. U and complained that I am doing favoritism in my class. She told me that many kids do not like me. She also told me that his kid do not understand what has to be done. Where is she getting this ideas. Her kid understands everything perfectly.
I am not asking you to talk to them. Not at all. I have to deal with my problem. But I need to know how to. I do not know how to.
Dr U address the problem with me, but he is mad at me. He told me that parents are complaining of my English. That never happened before. He said that I have to take lessons of pronunciation. A couple of kids have used that as am excuse to not to do the work, in the past. But I know that everybody understands what I say. So, I feel I am under attack. You have to see the way Mrs. Way looks at me. She is going to kill me with her eyes. Mr. F, for the first time complained about the music, I do not put it very high, but the Spanish music section is indispensable for my class. Is about the only nice thing we do that is curricular and fun to do. I bought a piece of cake for him and he did not accepted it in front of the students. He put his arms high as a fault in basket ball and he said I do not want it.
Students stay at Mr. P class during my period, they do not get a note., they come late because he allows them to stay in his class, they miss information in my class, then I am to be blamed for the kid’s behavior.
I am playing at St J on Sundays so I do not even get to see you any more. I cannot afford for counseling. Our insurance does not pay for counseling and I still am paying a lot of money monthly for doctors that BCBS did not pay.
When I entered BCS last year all my life changed. I feel like I am having steps back now.
I have tried to talk to Dr. U, but he tells me things, then he says that he never said it. So, what is the case to talk to him? He said that because of Mrs. N’s complain, he will have to be in my classroom more often. I do not know what to do.
I just want ideas. Words to use. Or, if anybody can help me to find another job. You know so many people in education.
You can ask your grand daughter how good teacher I am. I am a good teacher. I promise you. I love A to pieces and she feels that I enjoy my work. Ask her. I promise you.
Please, if you have , dear friends, dear brothers in the love of Jesus, I see you as my pastors, if you can sit with me and talk.
Does this sound like regular problems? I see that the other teachers do not have those problems. I need to know if the problems I have are similar to others. But since the other teachers do not talk to me, I do not know what is a normal problem. I do not want that if you see me you turn around and walk fast in the opposite direction because I am bothering you. So, this will be my last attempt to get help from you guys. I promise I will do my best to not to bother you any more.
God bless you.
I saw him today at school and he asked me if I had a good day today. I said yes. I had a relatively good day. He said that he and his wife wanted to see me at his house on Thursday after school. He gave me the address. He is my ex boss and he is an important member of the church, he is in the school board and he has been head of school many times during hi 44 years ine ducation. I do not know why is he allowing this to happen. I do not know why. I start to feel that he knows. I do not know if he cannot do anything or he agrees, or he allows, or he is my enemy, he was very good to me last year. I am very confused. I do not know who is good and who is bad. I do not know who to trust. I do not trust anybody there. Dr. U has converted our school in a battle field. How can the administrators not notice anything? how can the allow it? Why?
I had to remove the other thread. I started feeling very scared and fear and thought that I had to remove it.
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what does God want to teach me? Why the compulsion to say things that will get me in trouble? Why God does not open another door? There were many position during summer. I did not apply. Why God did not made me? I thougth I was doing fine. What happened herer? Who is who?
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Dear Mr. P:
Because I know that you are a wonderful person I decided to write you. This is only between you and me.I have not told anybody and I will not tell anybody. I have to tell you with all my love for you, because I know that you are doing a wonderful job with the kids, that I am having problems becasue of some of your actions, or better said, lack of action. Several students do not come to my class because they stay with you. M L is going to fail thes quarter. H S has a good grade but for the first time in a long time he was very disrespectful to me and accused me of favoritism for allowing Y R to go to your class. I cannot be giving him explanations of what I do. But Y speaks Spanish perfectly and she will not be damaged by missing the informayion, so if she asks me permission to do something else I do not have any inconvenient to allow her to go. But H, although he knows some Spanish, he does not know as much. So, he needs to be on time, we have a quiz every Friday, he needs to be there. Then he asks me permission to go to the bathroom and he does not go there but to your class. If you are so kind to not let him stay with you at any time during sixth period, I would be so thankful, him or any student.
You know that I appreciate you very much because when some teachers are being very unfriendly to me, you always have a smile and you have never been mean to me. I love you for that in the name of Jesus.
Thank you.
You have a lot of power over the kids, thank God you do,and Thank God we have you. Please, help me during sixth period.
Your friend and sister in Jesus.
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Thank you Izzi. God bless you. I appreciate your help in PM. Thank you. The intention was not that, just advice. What to do. But it seems that yes, I need to take classes. I just do not have the money to pay 900 dollars at a University. I just cant.
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Thank you Lupita,
I confess I was not following your story because it was teachers and students===(I am no help there)=========could be mother and child===(That's all over and done for me)=========(even husband and wife.)
Just remember you have a VOICE in whatever you do that concerns you and your 'welfare' (well-being, happiness, contentment) You are in control of you. No one else is! There are certain rules to be followed by am employee, but as long as you don't cross those lines, you are entitled to speak up when something is unfair, or harassing.
Take Good Care.
Loce
Izzy
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I was coming out of the school yesterday after my piano lessons at 7:00 PM, was working since 5:00 AM, when I saw Mr. V my ex boss. He said that he wants to talk to me at his house with his wife and help me out with counseling. He has been 44 years in education and he is powerful in the church.
I do not know if he is my friend enymore. I thought he was. But he is allowing Dr. U to do bad things. I am very disappointed of him. I do not know who to trust. I feel terrible.
But yesterday Monday my day was not that bad, and for some reason. Dr. U did not come into my classroom. I totally dislike the way he treas me and I have hopes that there are others who dislike him.
He eats with the click. There is a click of teacher who eat together everyday and he eats with them. Those teaches are untouchable. They are mean and they support Dr. U. Some day Dr. U will miss around with one of them. I hope.
I pray that something happens and Dr. U does not stay at my school.
I am always the pray, always.
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OK.... I'm not understanding if you talked to the administrator again or not but he asked you to his house to counsel you?
On the whole, that sounds positive.
I don't blame you for fearing and doubting your situation. I understand.
The fact that the Dr. stayed out of your classroom says that someone spoke to him and the invitation seems timely..... that it's likely that fellow.
I hope this is help for you Lupita.
I hope you won't be driven small and fearful for the next 8 months like a little scared bunny. That is so disturbing for me to contemplate.
All the writing you've done is great, soul cleansing mind straightening work.
Hard, but necessary. Well done.
I hope you feel more clarity and understanding of the situation, if only so you can speak about it calmly and clearly when you meet with administrator Thurs.
Think about how to say what you need to say succinclty, in as few words as possible, so that he understands easily and follows.
No one wants all this to be true......
present the facts and let him draw the conclusions, in other words.
Don't tell him what to think and don't tell him what the Dr. meant to do.
Make a list of exactly what the Dr. does/did that is upsetting and memorize it.
You can tell him how this has made you feel too but..... he really wants to hear the facts so he can help solve it, I'm hoping.
Are there any good things the Dr. has done? If not.... you can say, "I wish I could say he's been kind or helpful at some point but, that's not been the case."
Don't get too emotional..... you're still a professional, right?
Right.
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He is not an administrator. He is important person in the church. He is my ex boss, has been in education for 44 years, retired now, he invited me to that church. He is best friend with the president of the school board of my school. That is who he is. He has his grand daoughter in my class.
He is empowering this man to do what he is doing. So I do not know if he is my enemy or not. I have no idea. I am going to his house in fear.
I am afraid that his wife is mad at me for teh attention I get from him. I saw one of his duaghters, she is a volleuball coach at the school, I told her hello four times and she did not answer until I almost forced her to say hellow.
So, something must be going on there. I did not do anything wrong. Nothing. I am a victim. I hate to say it. I have been victimized. Again.
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AAHHHHhhhhh! WOuldn't that be just perfect..... that there's some female crap going on behind the scenes.
Lupita. You have to go and you have to talk to the wife too. She needs to understand what's going on and I think you'll know from her behavior whether or not she's relishing your agony (bc her husband really likes you or whatever) or if she was just caught up in her own unhappy life and finds she wants to reach out to you, once she sees you're a suffering human who has done nothing to her.
I sure hope that they aren't allowing this to go on, or facilitating... God forbid.
So, this is the guy that was asked to stand up in front of the church with you?
The Pastor was the one that was trying to make you feel comfortable and welcome in the church, right?
I hope Dr. stays out of your class today, and pretty much for the next 8 months.
In the meantime, keep your eye peeled for an employment opportunity elsewhere and think about what you're going to say, and how you're going to say it, when get that audience with your ex boss and his wife.
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Lupita, hon:
Minimize the "HE" statements and maximize the "I" statements, okay?
At work I am feeling
unwelcome
harrassed
disliked
scapegoated
discriminated against
ganged up on
disrespected
unappreciated
bullied
(Whatever is true for you.)
Just HONEST, including your pain, but without melodrama.
love
Hops
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yes, he is the one that stood up at the door fo the church with me. The pastor made him.
Today Dr. U was in my third period for about 20 minutes. I do believe that I did a great job. I was giving tokens to the kids that answered questions correct, of 18 kids 17 were engaged in class and only one was not working, but not disrupting either. One was a smart a*s and ran his mouth for a second but I ignored him and continued teaching, everybody paid attention to me. He always find something negative to say, but I know that I did a great job. I was asking questions that were covered and already written on the pverhead and as they asnwered I uncovered the question, and I said "if your anwere so correct it will match my answer in the overhead perfectly", and all thier answers were perfect. It would be almost impossible that he could tell me that mys students were not understanding what I was doing. When I left I saw him in the parking lot and I said Hi Dr U, did you see how smart are my students? and he said, they seem tobe very smart. Then I said, if you come to my classes everyday you can learn some Spanish, I can give you your homework and give you a zero if you sonot do it, the he said, no, I dont think so.
I talked with one of the teachers, she loves me and she is my only friend. She said that he is watching me. She said "You are being watch. be very careful, work for the Lord and do your best, after that, do not think that he exists, work as if he does not exist."
The librarian is the most hypocritical person I have ever seen. She is the evel. She is liar, selfish and N. She calls her self a Christian and she is a back stabber.
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The world's full of selfish lying back stabbers.
6 out of 25 people are sociopaths. I can't hardly wrap my mind around that, Lupita.
You're not one of them, however so..... you have to get yourself into a space where you're safe and out of harms way.
That other teacher knows things... the one that likes you.
What else does she hear?
I'd like to know...... seems she hears things and people talk.
The librarian is a little person who sucks up to the boss.
Hypachristians aren't all that rare either.
You... I think you're the rare one, Lupita.
Don't let them steal your goodness and your spark.... use that intelligence and trust your gut.
Don't run around in circles, though sometimes it just has to get out that way...... try to remember that you're a great teacher and that there isn't anything to fire you over.
It's hard for people to stand up to bullies.... even good people don't want to get involved in that. Maybe your ex boss will surprise you..... be prepared to listen to him first.... so you have an idea what he's about before you speak.
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Before I was leaving I saw my two worst students together, chit chatting with Dr. U. One of them is the son of the librarian. That boy is liar like his mother. Always saying I did not do the work because I di dnot understand what Mrs. Lupita said. I did not do teh work because Mrs. Lupita did not explain it. She did not tell me. I did not hear it. He has 1000 excuses and his mother bakcs him up and Dr. U backs him up too.
The other is the one who always goes around with his bible in his hand, always critizicing others nad judging others.
I read today in class James 2:1-12 about controling the tongue. To see if he understands what he is doing.
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Hey... Lupita.
I haven't heard you talk about anything really
really
really
important lately.
DANCING!
What happened to dance class and beach volley ball and working out?
Don't forget to stick with your self care regime.... even if you don't feel like it.
It's very important, even if you have no energy and would rather eat a bug.... it'll pay off later.
Are you keeping fresh salad makings in the house?
Drinking plenty of water?
Breath...... and remember to be kind to yourself.
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I feel bad today but not as bad as before because i had two days with out mejor events.
The teacher that is my friend has not heard anything. She told me that she is making indutive thoughts through what i have been telling her.
I do not what I would do with out you guys. Thank you.
I feel powerless and hopeless.
But, since Mr. V is going to talk to me on Thursday, maybe I am not as powerless as I thought. Maybe God wants me to be humble.
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Yes lighter, I have not gained weight. I am less hungry. Not exerzicing as much as I used to. Too depressed.
Thank you for asking.
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Don't let this envelop you completely.
Stay in touch with your body and physical side....your spiritual side too.
Dance and keep moving.... releasing endorphins and all that, lol.
You will feel better down the road if take the time to care for yourself, Lupita.
You're worth that time and care..... don't let them depress out of your good habits, my dear!
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I did not go to school today. I feel extremely sick and tired and weak.
Going to the doctor.
They called me to tell me they did not have a lesson plan for me. I just pushed the botton to send lesson plan on e mail. I have prove in my computer that I sent it on time. They have to have it.
I know they will use any single little thing to damage me.
The ugliest thing is that I did not do anything wrong. nothing.
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(((((((((((Lupita))))))))))) I just read all of this and I am so sorry about your trials at this school. I have had similar while working as the secretary in a church office... and I only did it because they were desperate for help. One woman, the church organist and lead-gossip of the hens' clutch (knitting circle) did all she could to make my life miserable.
When I ask myself what did I learn from all this... well, it's this - pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you and you will see wonderful results... within yourself, at the very least. It is most difficult... and yet most satisfying, in the end.
It's good that you're going to the doctor... maybe you need a shot of B12? I can't eat when I am so sad and down, but I was wondering if you can drink some of that liquid Ensure? Just getting enough nutrients and vitamins into your body may make a huge change in your wellbeing right now. I am praying for you, dear Lupita.
With much love,
Carolyn
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Dear Lupita,
My suggestion would be to let us,on the board, help you to build up your self esteem.It would take time and effort.However,I think that if you go step by step,you could do it.
Love to you. I am sorry you are not feeling well, dear. This guy will reap what he sows. I know that he will.I am so sorry that he is bullying you.It is DESPICABLE. Love Ami
(((((((((((((((((((Lupita))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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I hope the doctor finds you're OK..
It's fine to take some down time but....... you have to get back in there and KNOW you're right.
They're wrong.
Don't let them break you down, Lupita.
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Yes, they broke my spirit. But it is good to remember that I am right and they are wrong. They are very wrong. Let us see what do they do today.
With God on my side, they might just forget that I exist.
The librarian is the same satan. I have to smile. I have ot pretend that I am doing fine.
god will help me to survive this year, what do I say?, just to survive this day.
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Lupita,
Just checking in again. You are getting so much wonderful support. I couldn't improve on it, but I wanted to let you know that you are still in my thoughts and that I am in YOUR corner!!!
Love,
Poppy
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That secretary isn't the same as Satan.
She's a miserable unhappy person sharing her misery with other people, cause that's what they do.
It's called "transferring agression" and when she upsets you.... she feels a little better bc she transferred the yucky stuff to you.
Nice, huh? From good church people with smiles on their faces and knives in your back.
The think to remember is..... they're just people.
Like you and me.... only they lost the battle to figure things out.
Think how messed up you'd have to be to treat people the way they do.
They're nutsy rocksy koo koo crazy, Lupita.
Imagine what their close relationships are like if that's the way they treat people in their outer circles.
They're not right, they're damaged and something inside them isn't able to figure it out.
Something inside you IS!
That's the good news.... their lives SUCK and won't be improving.
They can only impact your life as long as you allow it and when you move on..... their lives will still SUCK and yours won't so there
::sticking out tongue at doc and librarian::
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Today, he came again to my classroom. then a secretary came during sixth period just to bring me a note, nd then after her another teacher came to ask for a student that was not there. He is sending people to watch me. I have to be perfect in order for him not tu find something because I am a human being and sonner or later I will make a mistake. Hop that I will be alert and work hard every day. But I am getting tired. Hope that I can get another job.
I had my appointment with my ex boss and his wife. he said that of course a daily visit by Dr. U to my classroom is enough to create insecurities. But that I also have a major issue of insecurity.
He said that the church is going to pay for counseling if I pay a small part. They contacted a Christian counselor who is willing to work with me that way. That is a good thing.
But, I am very tired. He said that he does not think he is going to stay because he lacks liedership abilities. I told him that I wish I had a more compassionate boss.
I am sick, depressed, and lonely.
Love to you all.
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Thank you friends for keep writing. I felt I wanted to die. Last night. Now, do not take me wrong. I am not suicidal, never. Just feel that I do not want to live if I have to fight all the time against so many obstacles that do not let me breath. I cannot even find a job with peace not even in a christian shool. I do not want to be this way. I need a ob where I can work in peace. I am tired of being pray. I want to allow the monster to eat me so the pain is over.
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Dear Lupita,
It is not your fault that you have so many troubles. You were programmed with the most horrible tapes(inside your head)
I am so so sorry that you are suffering so.I feel horrible to see it.
I wish that God would send you a really strong person to help you. That boss is so pitiful. I am so,very sorry.Lupita.
Love to you Lupita , Ami
(((((((((((((Lupita))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))0
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Hi Lupita-
I am so sad to read about what you are going through, and the toll it is taking. I know that you are tired and weak, but if you can take a small walk each day, you will help to rid your body of nasty inflammation and cortisol from stress. Also, drink your water, eat whole grains, and SLEEP! Sleep will remove even more cortisol and inflammation, and provide mental and physical healing, so you can rise up to prevail another day (don't forget to keep ypur logs up to date). Keep your spirits and health up, dear!!!It's up to you. Do you have a yoga studio nearby? The stretching and meditation would really help keep you relaxed, focused and centered.
Lupe, when you wake up, pray for help and strength, and you will get through the day. You have done so very much so well up to this point, I'm betting on you to come out as the WINNER!!! Put on some soothing music before you go to sleep, and visualize your victory! You can handle those bird-brains ! Just remember who you are, and what your goals are, and keep control of your own thoughts- be happy when you can, and don't let those vultures take over your life or run your agenda. Bide your time, be content inside of yourself, and VOILA! You will be on to a more satisfying phase of life, on your terms.
Much Love and Best Wishes From Your Friend.
Lupita, You Can Make it!
Changing
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Dear Lupita - I think Dr. U is envious of you and that is why he wants to undermine you and make you go away. He probably wishes he was a real doctor like you are. You are just way more than him.
Here is a phrase to keep in mind (I guess it is a kind of made-up latin):
illegitimis non carborundum.
It means: don't let the bastards grind you down.
What happened to you started to happen to me on my last job and I left when I found another one. I know you will find another one too. Are you looking outside education? You are qualified to work in pharmaceutical manufacturing and/or clinical testing....
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Hi, Lup...
I think it's great they're going to provide you some counseling.
You need a safe place to go for comfort and to be heard
in real life too.
Everything Changing said was so dazzlingly full of love and grace
and insight...
So I will just say, ditto.
love
Hops
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It is 2:00 in the morning. I cant sleep. What am I going to do?
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So sorry you had to be alone during that time.
I used to write and write and write and work on stuff that helped me.
You could also put in movies you've wanted to see and work on something creative or read.
Make a nice cup of Sleepy Time Chammomile Tea and snuggle up with a great book?
Hope for sleep but enjoy the up time as much as you can?
You should be exhausted tonight and pass out early.... that's been my experience when I couldn't sleep.
I know the struggle you're feeling..... and it won't pass quickly..... but it will pass.
Keep that in mind, if you can. It's going to be ok, eventually, Lupita.
Just remain righteous and don't let them see you sweat.
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Well, today was planning day for end of the first quarter grades. peaceful day. God will protect me on Monday.
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I was sitting with some teachers at the faculty meeting. One was drinking tea. Since they did not let me participate in their conversation I abruptly said to the one that was drinking tea, do you know that if you drink tea regularly you have less chances to have osteoporosis in your old age? She asked me again what and then repeated my question as if she did not have any idea of what I was saying but then she understood and said another comment and the others said another comment and I started a conversation topic in which I was included. The problem is that there was one teacher who is a suck up to Dr. U and she will use that to support him in his discrimination of my accent.
So, I have to say, please God, help me, because I am among enemies. I am being attacked.
Only God can help me. And I have to smile and and pretend.
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Hi Lupita-
A ladies tea party! Great! You are retraining the birdbrains!!! I don't think your accent was the reason they asked you to repeat yourself- your intelligent repartee probably woke them up!!! Now rest and have a fun weekend, with time for meditation and quiet relaxation as well.
By the way, your "accent" is one of the many reasons that you are a superb language teacher- the nuances of the native speaker cannot be bought or book-learned!!
Love and Peace,
Changing
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Dear Lupita,
Just saying,"Hello.". I am thinking of you and am so very,very sorry that that boss does not appreciate you.
It is so unfair to be targeted that way--especially at a Christian school.
((((((((((((((((Lupita)))))))))))))))))))))))). Sending love and hugs, Ami
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Dear ((((((( Lupita )))))))
Have been reading through your posts, and please know that you truly have my genuine empathy.
(a few years ago I too was in a similar situation and really do know how it feels)
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Today, I was reading my pretty little devotions book "A Path of Peace and Joy"
and turned to the section entitled 'Protection'
................ In Difficult Times:
... 'Our paths all wind through dark gorges and dangerous valleys at times; places where we cannot see or hear God. We all have times of crisis, when it feels as if God is far away, as if He is not the loving God to whom we are accustomed.
God's children are not exempt from hardship, but we do have His promise that He will be with us in times of crisis, suffering and sadness.'
2 Sam. 22:29-30 "You are a lamp, O Lord; the LORD turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall."
Psalm 33:20-22 "We wait in hope for the LORD; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.
Truly, it is absolutely wonderful to see all the love and support here on board, from your friends, just for you, dear Lupita, as you stand upright amongst friends who care so much about you.
Weather permitting, this weekend, I encourage you to get out into the fresh air, and enjoy some refreshing gentle walks.
Love and hugs,
Leah
"When I am afraid, I will trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?"
Psalm 56:3-4
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Thank you friends. Still, I have no idea what did I do. I was thinking that it is the anttention of Mr. V, my ex boss what made his wife and doughters angry, or my new boss racism, or a combination of both. I think it is a combination of both. But I did not do anything wrong. I am tired of this "Christian" people. I am sick and weak and they are revictimizing the victim. I am a victim again. God knows that I did not do anything wrong. When is God going to give me a brake? I guess I have the brake right now during weekend. I whoudl be cleaning my apartment. i cant. Dont have the energy.
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Thank you friends. Still, I have no idea what did I do. I was thinking that it is the anttention of Mr. V, my ex boss what made his wife and doughters angry, or my new boss racism, or a combination of both. I think it is a combination of both. But I did not do anything wrong. I am tired of this "Christian" people. I am sick and weak and they are revictimizing the victim. I am a victim again. God knows that I did not do anything wrong. When is God going to give me a brake? I guess I have the brake right now during weekend. I whoudl be cleaning my apartment. i cant. Dont have the energy.
Dear Lupita,
I go to a garage to have my car repaired - but that does not make me a mechanic!
Likewise, anyone can walk into and become seated in a Church building - but that does not make them a Christian!
Remember, the Apostle Paul taught on the 2 types of 'Christian'
One is a 'Nominal' Christian - who is a 'Carnally minded' Christian, walking after their own flesh. Which means, that sadly, the nominal carnal Christian prefers to walk according to their own way - sadly, not God's way.
The other is a 'Spiritual' Christian - who perseveres each day, in walking according to Christ's teaching, following Him as a disciple, in the truth of God's Word.
We are not to judge either type of Christian, but, we are to discern (Hebrews 5:14).
Seeking Godly wisdom and discernment in our daily prayers helps us to walk daily in His way - and not in our own way.
Also. praying on the Armour of God each day, in our daily prayers, helps us stand upright and strong.
Believe me, you have my heartfelt empathy, and are in my thoughts and prayers, as some Christians can test the patience of any saint!
Personally, daily, I work out my own salvation with the hope of being found walking in Christ (He is the way, the truth and the life).
Pressing on towards the mark, running the race that is set before me, on my journey of faith, with God's grace.
The short book of Philippians is so encouraging and helpful, especially chapter 3.
Love & Hugs,
Leah
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Lupita, you could lay around and watch tv all weekend.... it might recharge your batteries.
I do hope that you have the energy to at least brush and floss your teeth but hey....
sometimes reallyreally down time is called for, then you get back up.
If the apartment doesn't get cleaned.... ::shrug::
So what?
But keep this in mind..... if you just force yourself up, go for a walk, workout, clean the sink and toilet in the bathroom and floss really well...... it'll prolly lead to some good feelings and energy you didn't have before.
One good feeling leads to another, when we're feeling so down we can't function.
If you can just manage that first positive action, it might break the funk you're in.
If not...... try to enjoy your down time, sans guilt, and regain some strength for Monday: )
All Christians don't suck.
It's people, in every walk of life, that fail and struggle. No matter where they come from.
And one more thing...... (((((Lupita)))))
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My son went to a Catholic School.I never saw so many bullies or stealing in any public or private school(IME--only)
They could not even leave their books on their desk and go to the bathroom or s/one would steal their books.
It was the worst school ( for "morals" ) that I have ever seen---public or private.It was eat or be eaten.
The football team bullied one kid and my S said that it was so horrible. My S stood by( he was a freshman) and seniors were bullying the kid. My S was traumatized by being in the group that stood by.
I am glad that there is an ultimate Judge. I know that your boss will not be happy when he has to answer for how he treated you-- a precious person who did not hurt anyone. Love Ami
((((((((((((((((Lupita))))))))))))))))))))))))0
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Hi Lupita-
You did it!!! You have remained a lady, above all of the pathetic evil of the week! Now it is your time- no one can judge you! Put the birdbrains out of your mind for the time being.Take the precious days of freedom and peace, and do whatever you wish, whatever you need and want to do for your own fortification- you have earned it!!!
We are on your side, and want you to prevail and be happy and fulfilled.
Love and Peace and Success,
Changing
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Dear ((((( Lupita )))))
Remembering when you joined us here on board, back in February, and had to endure much till the end of the school year.
Now it would seem that the endurance level has increased starting with this new school year.
You have the kind offer of counselling sessions to look forward to - which is a wonderful way of openly sharing your experiences and thoughts with someone - on a face-to-face basis.
Any idea when your 1st counselling session will be?
Take gentle care of yourself, however you decide to spend your weekend.
Love & Hugs,
Leah
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Here I go again. I went to a womens reunion of the church where I became a member, (my school). I get there and I do not know who is a friend and who is an enemy, I do not know who likes me and who does not. I does not matter. Who cares. I should not care who likes me and who does not. I have to like my self. I donot. And when somebody likes me I think tha they are inferior. Probably beause if I am nothing and they like me they must be inferior.
I had a nightmare there at the womens reunion. Just fearing, suffering. I saw the accountant's wife giving a check to the bible teacher's wife and she open her eyes when she saw it and she said thank you thank you. They live in a good good house, both work and still recieve more money. i am in terrible debt for the insurance they give me, pay me very little salary and they donot give me anything. i was green green greeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Please God forgive me.
I do not want to be jealous. My son came home yesterday to visit and he took my storm search plug and he did not bring it back. Nobody respects me. I am nothing. I donot exist.
Mr. V insinuated that I am not a good teacher. He did not sya that, he said that teaching is a gift and I might be gfted for something different. What did he mean? I did not ask him at that moment. I can no go and asking three days later.
Why do I need him to say that I am a good teacher? I know I am a hell of a good teacher. But he always leaves me with a doubt he never gives me validation. The difference with Dr. U is that Dr. U always sais something negative.
Why do I need them to tell me that I am good?
They have not fired me yet. So, why do I need to hear that I am good? Why do I get green when I hear that they are praising constantly other people that they give them money and they are as good as me?
Who cares????????????
Tha F***k with them. I do not need them. I do not need anybody. Anybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Anger is good.,Lupita,You have every right to be angry at the school and all the other people who have hurt you. EVERY RIGHT.
Anger will protect you better than fear or sadness.I wish that I could send you a big,strong guy like my former cop b/f. He would have them all "bowing" to you. That is what you need- -- a bigger dog.
I wish that I could help you.I am so sorry. None of it is your fault. Your job is only to see and realize your own value(How easy to say and how hard to do--huh) Love Ami
(((((((((((((((((Lupita)))))))))))))))))))0
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Lupita-
Life can be so cruelly unfair. I am sorry that you have to spend time with such insensitive clods. If someone told me what Dr. V did you, I would talk to someone else, outside of that school system instead, the next time . One can never fully know the hidden agendas and lotyalties of others. Of course, I would remain friendly and let him think that he knows what is going on, for the time being.
I might also find out about free counseling elsewhere. You could look for a family counseling or other center with a free or sliding scale fee basis.
The discrimination that you are experiencing is illegal. It is illegal for them to spew hate speech at you, illegal to harrass and discriminate against you. But it can be a slow process to prosecute this type of behavior. It seems that they are aware of this and may be documenting your teaching, etc. You need to keep your own log!
Since you need the job, I would lay low until I got a new one, and get free counseling from an outside agency, that could verify what you are going through. There are very nice free counseling centers in almost every city. The school's own referred counselor may construe things in the school's favor if you have to sue them. Also, if it gets too bad, you may need your own psychiatrist or psychologist to fill out documents. Their doctor may refuse to do this.
I would also keep a log of what happens every day, what the birdbrains say, who comes into the class, etc. The EEOC could use all of this in case something happens. It may come to the point that you need to open a case and provide documentation. If nothing else, it may buy you some time and make the school back off, though I would wait until I thought the time was right to do it. I might also join a local latin anti-discrimination organization! Right away!
You are doing so well in your situation. Don't let those racist nuts tear you down- just keep a file on them, get a professional of your own for back up, and hang in until you are ready to go to a better job!!!! These are just suggestions of course- you must do what you know is right. Please forgive my suggestions if this is wrong for you.
Oh yes- teenagers can be silly and egocentric sometimes- I know it hurts just now, but your son loves and respects you, and he will give your stuff back when you ask! In the meantime, please be good and gentle with yourself- you are such a darling person, and it is hard to survive a prolonged seige. And we care here on this board.
Love and Peace,
Changing
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Still, I do not understand what happened. There were openings during the summer. Now there is nothing. I did not apply to anything during the summer because I thought i had a job there. but, if they did not want me, why did they make me sign a contract since June? Why????????WHY????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?
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IMO------ They got "power" over you b/c they saw that they could. This is my opinion. So much of the bottom line of life is "power". It is horrible and it SHOULD not be that way,but it is(IMO)
You should read Caroline Myss. . She talks about how not having our own power results in sorts of problems.
Lupita,I think that what happened to you was "simple" in a sense. The people could sense your weakness and they bullied you like kids on the playground. Maybe I am all wrong--I hope so b/c it is an awful quality of human nature to pick on people .
I HOPE that I am wrong. Compost what does not fit . Love Ami
PS You really have a lawsuit for discrimination.Isn't there a lawyer in your town who would like to take on a case like this for contingency?
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Hi Lupita and Ami-
If it seems right to you, I think that a free consult with an employment lawyer as Ami suggested could be a very good idea. Also a consult with the EEOC. (The federal attorneys prosecute the cases for free, but you have to go through an investigatory process. If they cannot take your case because of a shortage of lawyers,etc. you can then get a right to sue letter.)That would nail things down more as far as a possible future case. In the meantime, a good log is very important as well. If you felt the time was right, you would have your evidence ready to start a discrimination case. As Ami said, please compost this if it doesn't fit.
Lupita, I am so sorry that this situation is so torturous. I don't think that you did anything but act in an honest fashion with crummy scummy bummy racist people. It seems that you feel trapped, which is a very cruel situation for them to set you up in. Please don't blame yourself for their misdeeds. Just keep yourself together and fortified, and this will be over and you can tell those sub-cretins "Arrivederci, Sayonara, Ciao and Bye Bye Turkeys!!!"
Love and Hugs,
Changing
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I am not in that direction.
The only thing I want is to survive the year and find another job. If anybod can help me find another job, that would be the perfect help. Or find free counselling. That would be the perfect help.
Or give me words to tell people when they say something ugly, or attituds to develop during the ostrcism that they have condemned me.
No law suit. I do not want to waste my life in a law suit. Look at those black parents in Florida, whose kid was killed in a boot camp. They did not get anything. No, nothing good comes from a law suit.
I need to get out of this depression. It is killing me. I donot have energy. No gym, no friends, I was doing wonderful, when this man came to my school, and everybody supported him in his evilness.
That is very disappointing. Sad.
I just need for the Lord to open a window so I can escape. I cannot go with out a another job in my hands. I need a job. That is what I need.
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Hi Lupita-
Only you know what is right in your situation. I hope that you get the job that you are seeking ASAP!You deserve a proper working environment.
Love,
Changing
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I am agonizing here. I need to stop agonizing. I need to stop the fear. I will succeed because I have not done anything wrong. I have to triunph. God knows I am a good teacher. He will not attack me tomorrow. God will help me. God will help me. Please, God pretect me from my enemy!!!!!
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On top of all, I bought a pone card to call my mother, and I lost it. So I wrote her an e mail to tell her that I did an effort to buy a five dollars phone card to call her and I felt very sad because I misplaced it, and she wrote me an ugly letter telling how bad is my sister in law. I assume she thought I called my sister in low instead.
I do not get justice anywhere. I get screwed everywhere. I cant believe it. it is not funny. It is horrible.
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Your Mother is the worst.I want to put her in the compost heap. Ami
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Lupita
I am so sorry for what you are enduring, You sound like a victim. You must work toward being a survivor-- the first is lost, the second is strong,
Do you have evidence of discrimination to file a law suit? Perhaps a lawyer is required here, to advise you. By doing this you are working toward saving yourself. This would be a move toward being strong and in charge of yourself.
We on the board can empathize with you, but we cannot solve the problem. It is one that requires help from you own area.
As you write of your trials, I wonder what tone of voice you use when speaking. Is it strong and secure? or is it limp and whiny? The last will get you nowhere so I hope it is the first!
My very Best Wishes for you to become strong and secure, assertive in standing up for yourself. You know the truth!!
love
Izzy
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+Lupita..... get ahold of yourself, woman.
You're the person who threatens men and women, alike... that's why they do this to you.
You're at the receiving end of all this attention, bigotry and manipulation because people don't want you to have more than them.
Buck up and stop letting them get to you so badly.
They're winning when you fall apart.
That's why they do what they're doing.
They don't like it when you're all shiney and happy and active and on track.
That's too much good for you and their little crappy lives suck so.....
they share their misery.
Don't let it in!
Practice wearing that helmet that allows you to choose what words you allow in and what you don't.
Don't let them transfer their agression to you..... on you it becomes defeat not agression. I think they don't want you defeated..... just controlled and in your place.
Please please please try to take the observers role and look at what they're doing, stop feeling like prey.
They're small unhappy people playing children's games, Lupita. Look at that and be amazed at how childish and stupid it is.
Don't keep going into shock and feeling helpless.... if you can help it.
((Lupita)) All things, good and bad, must come to an end. And so will this bad time in your life. Promise.
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Dear Lupita,
I know that this will be very hard to see with your heart b/c your heart is so damaged by N abuse. However,Izzy is right about your embodying the 'victim" role. I JUST saw my role as victim last week ,so i am not judging you in ANY way. God knows how you even survived as well as you did ( very well) with your mother.
However,I think that your path OUT of all this mess has to be the path of switching from a victim to claiming your own power. This is the road map for you (IMO)
I bet that you are too overwhelmed to receive this information,now.I understand. However, keep it as a "goal" for a future time when you are not so assaulted.
Lupita,as I do the inner child exercises(connecting to the deep layer of feelings),I can see how we took on all those messages of worthlessness. The messages are all lies. We believe them b/c we were brainwashed for so long and when we were vulnerable. "Train up a child in the way he shall go and he will not depart from it'. It is very hard to replace old messages,but we can. We,as humans,have brains that CAN be re-wired.
There are studies on brains now that show that old pathways can be made new.
I will be praying for you. I am terribly sorry for all you are going through.I think that you are being exposed to the "evil" within people. Their evil came out b/c they sensed that you would "take it'(IMO)
All bullies pick people who they think will take it. Then,if the person fights back, the bully goes to s/one else.
It is a horrible situation. I am so,so, sorry,Lupita. ((((((((((((((((((((Lupita)))))))))) Love Ami
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An African-American student, on a scholarship for basketball, yelled in my class "those crazy Mexicans". I said, watch your mouth. He said I did not say anything. I said I want to have a good relationship with you, he said I do not want to. I wrote him up. But in my school he has to sign and agree with the discipline referral. He did not sign it. Of course. I went to the assistant principal and she accepted to deal wth it with out the signature. I called the coach. He said he would make him run. This boy is terribly disrespectful and aggressive.
Today I have to deal with the results. Hoping in the name of God that the assistant principal is not manipulated by Dr. U. They never tell me what consequenses the student paid. Never.
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CB, Laighter, Ami, Izz, your words are so beautiful. I guess I suffer more than others. Fire crackers from childhood maybe. But it seems that many people deal with problems like mine.
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((( Lupita )))
Just want you to know that you have been in my thoughts.
Remember, you were offered the contract in June because you were valued according to your teaching record of good standing
as a teacher within the school during the previous academic year(s).
That true fact cannot be stolen from you.
It is in your ownership.
So my dear friend, walk into the school each day and take up your teaching mantle and continue as always with the good work that you have a proven track record of.
It is in your ownership.
I know it is not the best place to be standing when all around are so 'nasty' but remember, they don't have to be in the class with you as you perform your teaching role ........... and they most certainly don't have to go home with you either!
"Thank goodness" I hear you say :)
But standing you are ..... in your rightful place ..... the place of teaching that is in your ownership.
So stand firm and upright as you can survive this ..... (remember, no-one can see your knees go wobbly when they are 'nasty')
With gracefullness you are able to choose .... not to engage with their 'nasty' games .... they will soon grow tired of it all :)
Take care, thinking of you, you are in my prayers.
Love,
Leah
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Please, please, I need help.
OK. Something came out of my meeting with Mr. V my ex boss last week. The librarian did not come to school today. The custodios told me that she was called. Her son behaved very well and my class was more well behaved. So, I know it is her, she instigates the children against me. She says things to make them mock me. So, everybody was looking at me very strangely. I was being watched. The elementary teachers always bring their children early and pick them up late. So I was late today, five minutes, and the assistant principal was there watching me. then I had lunch duty and the assitant principal was watching me. We had teacher chapel today and the pastor said that adults should not use children as weapons to hurt other adults. The social studies teacher who is the team lieder of all of us, she always looks at me in a way that causes me chills. I do not know if I am in deeper trouble or that was a triunph.
Can somebody advise me? Please, please.
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I FEEL SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dear Lupita,
I would like to help ,but I am not sure what you are asking. Maybe you could clarify the situation more.
Ami
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It sounds like you have less clarity, after the meeting, than before you met with your ex boss?
I still don't know exactly what you said or he said or his wife said.
Could you fill us in, please?
It sounds like antenna's are up.... you've been tattling and people know it so you're being watched even more closely for it?
At least, you feel you are and maybe it's the case.
Keep doing your job.
The children are being manipulated and they learn from watching you deal with this struggle.
I think they probably don't want you to lose, as interesting and amusing as it may seem to them at times.... they don't want their lives to be about chaos, double crossing and undermining of authority figures in the important institutions of their lives, IMO.
Remember.... you're in the right.
What happens when you relate with the social studies teacher? Is she one of the bully's? Is she in thick wtih the Principal?
Honestly, it sounds like things are being shaken up and that at least the janitor is on your side.
We'll see where it goes and Lupita will keep teaching excellent classes and trying to overcome and persevere.... as always: )
Interesting to see how long the Librarian is gone for.
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Please, please, I need help.
OK. Something came out of my meeting with Mr. V my ex boss last week. The librarian did not come to school today. The custodios told me that she was called. Her son behaved very well and my class was more well behaved. So, I know it is her, she instigates the children against me. She says things to make them mock me. So, everybody was looking at me very strangely. I was being watched. The elementary teachers always bring their children early and pick them up late. So I was late today, five minutes, and the assistant principal was there watching me. then I had lunch duty and the assitant principal was watching me. We had teacher chapel today and the pastor said that adults should not use children as weapons to hurt other adults. The social studies teacher who is the team lieder of all of us, she always looks at me in a way that causes me chills. I do not know if I am in deeper trouble or that was a triunph.
Can somebody advise me? Please, please.
Dear Lupita,
Something came out of my meeting with Mr. V my ex boss last week. The librarian did not come to school today
Maybe, rather than they are 'watching you' ..... they are just Looking at You
because they are all now fully aware of what has been going on ......... they are fully aware that the truth is out in the open
Most likely so ....... and in that case, yes, it is a triumph
The Pastor said that adults should not use children as weapons to hurt other adults
would clearly support
that everything is in the open now
Yes, that is a triumph.
Do not be afraid
Love
Leah
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It sounds like you have less clarity, after the meeting, than before you met with your ex boss?
I still don't know exactly what you said or he said or his wife said.
I told him that the principal was sucking up to the social studies teacher, English teacher and librarian. I told him that the librarian was interacting with the children giving advises in what to do with me and they are mocking me in class. She does not even have a high school degree. She should not be counseling children 18 years old. He said that she has worked there for eight years and those eight years the library was the center or gossip in the school. His wife stayed quiet all the time. I feel I can read eyes. I do not believe she is against me. I think the social studies teacher who has been there for 20 years is the one that hates me and instigated the new principal and others against me. She used the racism of the new principal. That is what I think. I believe that she hates me because of the attention I got from Mr. V last year.
Could you fill us in, please?
It sounds like antenna's are up.... you've been tattling and people know it so you're being watched even more closely for it?
The English teacher did not want to do his lunch duty. The custodios complained and the new principal told them that his teacher so not clean tables. I had lunch duty this week and I had the assistant principal there in the cafeteria to watch that I do a good job. Of course my children were working well.
At least, you feel you are and maybe it's the case.
Keep doing your job.
The children are being manipulated and they learn from watching you deal with this struggle.
I hope that after the sermon the pastor did yesterday they will stop using the children. That is very bad, not so much for me but so bad for the children.
I think they probably don't want you to lose, as interesting and amusing as it may seem to them at times.... they don't want their lives to be about chaos, double crossing and undermining of authority figures in the important institutions of their lives, IMO.
I hope that The children do not want me to go. I hope that the children like me. I hope that with all my heart.
Remember.... you're in the right.
What happens when you relate with the social studies teacher? Is she one of the bully's? Is she in thick wtih the Principal?
She is a horrible bully. She eats lunch with the principal. They are palls. The English teacher also.
Honestly, it sounds like things are being shaken up and that at least the janitor is on your side.
We'll see where it goes and Lupita will keep teaching excellent classes and trying to overcome and persevere.... as always: )
Interesting to see how long the Librarian is gone for.
For one day. She is so narcissistic that she needed a day to recover after they told her to stop interacting with the children.
Thank you Lea. Your words recomfort me.
Please friends, please, keep writing. i cant wait to read your posts. it help me so much.
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Dear Lupita,
I cannot follow the specific workings of the situation. . I am sorry. However,it is their loss not to appreciate you.
I am so sorry that the whole situation got this "far" out of hand. Love Ami
((((((((((((((((((((((Lupita)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Hmmmmm..... I'm tres tres amused by the librarians 'hand over forehead' day off work, lol.
Hah..... what an appropriately cold slap in the face for her.
To be accused of what she's guilty of and told to STOP interacting with the students.
OUCH.
I gotta think that little ms. social studies teacher is paying attention...... and thinking about what this means for her.
You just keep teaching and smiling, being pleasant and professional..... really active and engaged with your students.
I love that you take every aspect of your job seriously...... even the lunch room duty, without complaint.
It's hard to find people who do their job well.... with pride and don't cause trouble. As you can see..... you're really quite a rare gem; )
I'm curiouse..... how much pull does your ex boss have where you work?
What did he say he would do for you?
What did he say about what had been happening at school?
You're doing great, Lupita. Stay strong and try to remain positive.
Spend more time wondering what happened to the poor souls who're cruel to you, and being glad you aren't like them.
They have unhappiness and awful things in their pasts too.... it just manifests differently.
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OMG I am shaking in my underware. The librarian is going to do her best to stab me again. We had fire drill today. unfortunately I was in the library making copies for my class. I had to go out with her and the pastor's son. As we were waiting for the call to come back in she asked me how was my mother. i said, is there a rumor of my mother being sick? She said no. i said she is fine, she works 12 hrs a day for 300 dollars a month. Then she said but you send money, i said no I do not have anything left, she said I know, it is a sacrifice to work here "in front of the pastor's son" then I said, but the previlege to talk about God with the kids cannot be substituted, and the pleasure to read the bible cannot be replaced with nothing. Then she said, and small classes, I said in public school I got at least one arrest a week for drugs or weapons, etc. she said is your mother educated? I said no, my mother did not finish middle school. I come from a very poor family. I am the first one in my entire family to go to university. She said, me too. The pastor's son said, we had drug problems here and weapons too, I said, really? I did not know about it. Finally we got in.
Then lunch duty, my lunch duty takes about 15 min, to clean tables and pick up trash, with the kids, the librarian son in my class, i said, W you will get extrapoints for helping here. She was there watching me the whole time. Just there watching me.
I thought I was not going to survive.
But the kids behaved well. After she was scolded, the kids behaved well. That is the most important thing for me.
I cannot believe that she ws using the pastor's kid to get me.
I hope that my answers were not adult stuff that I should not say infront of a kid. Because that is what the pastor said. Not to say adult stuff in front of kids.
Please tell me if you consider that what i said was inappropriate.
I was just trying to survive the moment.
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Do you think the pastor is involved? Do you think that the pastor'son is involved too?
That kid was me student last year and he was excellent. I thought I had a good relationship with him.
Sooner or later I will make a mistake. God help me. Please, God help me. They are too many. I cannot use Mr. V's help all the time.
God ha to protect me.
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Dear Lupita,
It does not sound inapproriate to me. I am sorry that it is such a mess . I don't think that you are in danger of losing your job.I know at my son's Catholic High School,it was very hard to get teachers.I think that the best you can do is try to get strong and know you are worth s/thing.Maybe ---if you do a "kill them with kindness" tactic,you can get them off you.Maybe,if you don't fuel it at all by fear or anger ,it may dissipate.
Hopefully,it will gradually dissipate and another "drama" will replace it for the teachers who seek that type of thing Love Ami
((((((((((((((((((((((((((Lupita)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Lupita calm down.
It may be more information than you want to share with a small minded bigoted little gossip but...... there was nothing wrong with what you said. Maybe she'll cut you soime slack now that you two have something in common?
Doubtful, but one can only hope.
I didn't see any connection with the Pastor's son being used here.
How would he be in on this.... what did he say that made you think that?
Sounds like you need to stay focused.
I'd continue to be very kind and professional, as you have, and see how it goes.
Again.... calm down. Remember to breath and try to observe from a distance and not be so upset when you're around them.
You already know what's coming now. Don't let them keep shocking you.
Identify it, know it's not fair treatment and refuse to let it in your head.
Respond professionally..... ask them exactly what they meant by a comment, ask them why they want to know..... ask them if you can get back to them about something you aren't comfortable with... but don't let them see you sweat and don't get freaked out around them.
Calm and easy winds the race.
You'll make it.
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Just confussion. I am confused. Mr. V came on grand parent day today at school to stay in my class, he talked to the class about the importance of studying a foreign language and I did not say thank you. I showed all the songs that my students know even with rap and regeton, salsa, and Beauty and the Beast in Spanish. I am sure he liked it but he did not say anything. I love Mr. V with all my heart and when I love some one bad something happens.
Today everybody was nice to me. Why? I do not know. But it is scary. I wish they just be normal instead of hateful or extremely nice. They are such hypocrits. Hypochristians.
The librairan is chansing me around to try to make conversation with me. I need to find the way to get away form her. I really dislike her. I will avoid her as much as I can. She is a serpent. She is a snake. She is evil in person.
Finally I will rest a weekend after a peaceful Friday.
But I am so tired that I do not even want to go dancing, or gym, or nothing. Just have a drink and go to sleep. No energy. My legs do not support me. I do not even want to go to salsa class. Just to think to take a bath gives me chills of lazyness and tireness.
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Hey Lupita,
I have been reading and trying to keep tabs on you. I am sorry I don't have anything wonderful to say about your job troubles. But, I am thinking of you and supporting you from the cheap seats.
I hope you have a restful weekend. Sounds like exactly what you insides are asking for. Two uninterrupted days where your brain can shut them out!!
Love,
Pops
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Was wandering what is my contribution to this kind of problems. Why an I always in trouble? Is this normal to everybody? Am I doing something bad?
I left the book club, another church, another job for the same reasons. Maybe I need to stay here and overcome the problem to feel some kind of stability. I do not know what to do.
I left my family, my hometown, all for the same reasons. I have ben running away from problems instead of solving them and staying.
They do not like me, I leave. People do not like me and I leave. That is what I do.
I should not care if the like me or not. Should I?
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Think about it....
if N's get away with SOOOOO much because nobody wants to challenge them... bc of their awful offensive behavior....
it makes sense that challenging kind people pleasing folk, who won't exact any price at all....
will be sought out by all kinds of people.... the N's, the unhappy, the restless, the confused and ticked off alike... yes sexy dance boys too.
You don't defend yourself well..... you don't put off energy that says you'll provide consequences for poor treatment.
How can you learn some new skills in this areana, without changing who you are? You don't want to become like them.... bullying out of pain.
Do some research on being assertive, conflict resolution..... spend more time with the people who do value you and discuss what they think you should work on?
I have always wanted you to affect a piercing/focused look at the people who are attacking you. Not aggressive... but letting them know you're on gaurd and you're capable and willing to defend if they wanna stick their chin out.
If you're always caught off gaurd, thrown off center, running in cirlces bc it doesn't occur to you to assert yourself and defend appropriately.... however will they sense they can't get away with doing all those things to you?
I can't explain that over the internet, unfortunately. That look would have a question in it for the people you focus on.....
What is it? I'm ready for it.... say it. Let's go. What'cha got. Let's dance. If you can manage to inject some humor too.... all the better bc that means you're not so bothered or upset.... you're thinking without duress or panick.
That look says there will be immediate consequences for words and actions against you.
It's the energy you put out into the universe... you can tailor it for different situations and people.
Lets face it.... you should be using different energy when on the New York Subway than when you're having a chat with the janitor, who likes you very much.
If you get your demeanor/energy figured out... you shouldn't have to deal with much more of this absurd adult bullying.
They'll find someone else, who won't defend themselves. Such is the nature of the human animal.
I would also like to see you take a martial arts class..... a traditional class would focus on utilizing energy as defense, so you don't have to throw the first punch, verbal or otherwise.