Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: tayana on November 01, 2007, 11:27:14 AM
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Some people may have already found this link, but I thought I would pass it along. There was some good information on the resources page.
http://groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/aconsadultchildrenofnarcissists.msnw (http://groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/aconsadultchildrenofnarcissists.msnw)
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This is actually a link from the first site I posted. I love this site. It's about coping and healing.
http://www.coping.org/innerhealing/repar.htm (http://www.coping.org/innerhealing/repar.htm)
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Great stuff, Tay. I especially valued this:
Learning that it's okay to blame the Nparent for the abuses they committed, in the safety of the recovery arena with recovery friends. Blaming an Nparent to their face will only incur untold misery and possible stalking or vendetta that may last decades.
Blaming the abusers in the recovery arena frees the ACON to take responsibility for their own life.
Reaching out to recovery friends for validation and understanding and offering that to them in a healthy exchange.
But the rush or moral or righteous indignation that comes from blaming an abuser can be addictive and if an ACON gets stuck in blame, obsessed with nit picking against the xNparent year after year after year, it cripples the ACON into being obsessive and prevents them from making healthy connections with loving, healthier friends.
And some of the rest is making me squirm, as I know my D has had to deal with my engulfing Ntrait. So I'll be studying that too.
thanks, dear.
Hops
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You're welcome Hops. I thought there was a lot of great info there.
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Tayana Thank You!
I am not as well versed in this subject as many here on this board are- There is so much useful information in this link that clarifies the crippling confusion that I have regarding NH Bagworm- his inability to even think about major misbehavior of even 24 hours before, the insane use of police and courts as instruments of torture instigated by lies and manipulation- it is so surreal, and one hesitates even speaking to the uninitiated about these experiences and topics- one can look like a real nut job recounting these things, as the N abuse is unbelievably extensive and all-pervasive.
It can be difficult making proper plans and going about one's life when there is a constant need to look over one's shoulder for the next irrational assault. Bagworm has been out of town for the week, so I haven't had any of the ugly and destructive interactions that he has been wont to create at least biweekly ( police abuse at my home, unmerited legal action with emergency hearings and the attendent legal costs and time disruptions, impromptu visits, etc-) This seems to be par for the course for hs particularly venal brand of N- I often blame myself for not taking proper action, but it seems that Bagworm is simply programmed to be a serial soul killer. Thank you so much Tayana!! This is the right information at the right time!
Even my wonderful lawyer doesn't always get it, and says that he wants me to be empowered and not so wary of Bagworm, etc- yet he is truly shocked when the serial bully behavior reasserts itself in the Bagworm almost immediately after any decisive slapdown! Thank you for the link. I can't afford to doubt myself at this juncture, and this has been a great help.
Love,
Soon (not soon enough) to be X Mrs. NH Bagworm
Affectionately known as Changing!!!
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I love these links tayana!
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Changing, glad you liked the links.
You're welcome, Iphi.