Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: betr4 on November 02, 2007, 01:38:00 PM
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Sometimes I over-reacted. So to try to fit in I would under-react.
In other words, the way I see it now years later: Living in denial, stuffing feelings and not being able to express myself, I would eventually explode with emotions. That was frowned upon in my foo.
So the exact polar opposite was to keep it all in and have no emotions or reaction. Peace at any price.
Grew up in it. Married into the same situation.
I have to express myself. Whatever it is, appropriately yes, but to be sure, not denied. The cost was myself. I was cut off from myself.
The cost is the people who still stay in the denial.
The payoff for being myself and expressing myself is others doing the same in recovery and healthy ways.
Changing is difficult and freeing. I am getting used to it.
Thanks, BR
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So well said, betr4.
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Dear BR,
I love your contributions, Betsy.
Bean talked about what she was "missing". She missed 'herself". I relate to this. This is what I am missing.I miss the connection with myself.
I remember when I was centered in myself .It was a wonderful and priceless feeling.It is what I am trying to get back.
I think that you are talking about this, Betsy. Does this make sense to you? Do you agree or disagree?
Love Ami
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BR,
I did much the same - became like a stoic - no facial expressions, no body expressions, no hugs, no emotions. For a while, didn't even look into people's eyes... I am learning emotions now. I had no problem showing emotions towards my kids but hit a wall with my husband and am trying to grow them. Also trying to show my dad feelings as I didn't much before. It is kind of like growing a new arm at times - impossible. But somehow I seem to be getting it...
Love, Beth
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Good point gratitude - I am very stoic in my (lack of) expressions too.