Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Ami on November 07, 2007, 07:51:37 AM
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Lighters thread seems to be going in a direction which she needs ,so I am starting a new one in the same vein.
I "used" to have qualities that I liked about myself. There were several. One was that I was ( am) a warm person. I had the ability to make people to feel 'better" by seeing the "special" qualities in them. I valued this in myself b/c I loved to 'light" up a person by finding s/thing special in them .
Anyway, I bring this up to encourage anyone who is interested to pick a quality in yourself that you might have lost and decide to "resurrect"( un bury) . .Our good qualities are part of our "voice" ,too.
For me, I have to love myself first before I have an over flow of love to give out to others. This was part of WHY I was a warm person. I had enough love inside that I was not 'worrying" about me( My Aunt is like this. You really feel special after you talk to her.).I was not in competition with anyone.Also, I did not need anyone to affirm me( basically) I thought that I was O.K. and so I could look outside myself to make s/one else comfortable.
So, today, I will love myself( against ALL of my M's wishes)I can see her in the sky already sharpening her knife.Shut up--- I tell her. Love Ami
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Wonderful, Ami.
I look forward to the day when you say to yourself exactly what your Aunt said, and regularly, and believe it!
I believe it.
love,
Hops
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It's a great idea! Today I will try to catch myself, at least once or twice, when I let other people tell me who I am, and I will say "I am not that." Cause I do it all day long. And it's got to be all about what you do on the inside.
In the book I am constantly 'reading' (a page a week?) Eckhart Tolle writes that if you sort out the inside of yourself, the outside of things will sort itself out and work out fine.
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PS--
Sorry Ami, forgot you're not fond of "Hon."
Hops
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NO, Hops. That is Lupita. I LOVE names of endearment !!! Ami
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Thanks, honeybunch!
:lol:
Hops
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Today, I made a mistake and did not condemn myself over it. I was trying to wash my older dog who was covered by going to the bathroom on herself. I was despairing of ever getting it all off. I was sitting in the water(that was running off her) ,in the yard b/c I did not want her to move.
My S was angry at me b/c I was not listening to his story about work. He let out the little dog and did not notice. I started screaming like a mad woman for the little dog to come back in.
I acted like wild person out in the back yard. So what if the neighbors think that I am a nut. So what,I lost it.
That was it. I made a mistake. Ami