Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: changing on November 17, 2007, 12:18:28 AM
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Last night the Bagworm was scheduled to come to the (unknown to him almost empty) house. He and his moronic lawyer (hereinafter referred to as The Moron) did not submit a list of items to be retreived or a confirmation of the appointment. Letters went out from my attorney's office setting a new date and time. I have a major paper due Monday but still have work going on at the house. I am exhausted- I slept on the floor the other night with no covers, just layers of clothes and it was super cold, so I didn't sleep enough. I went to my friend's place ( I had paid $600 for the use of a small room but it is full of stuff and has never been cleaned out, a small bed is downstairs which I used once before, with no linens. I bought new linens and she immediately covered the bed with all manner of disgusting items.) The other night she begged me to come over and write a letter to her work regarding some negotiaitions, etc. I did so, after school and after working on the house. I worked on her items late into the night and when I tried to put my shoes on, I couldn't (my dodgy foot) With slippers I could not walk or stand. I was also woozy from lack of sleep, so she cleared the tiny cot/bed and I went to sleep immediately (I wanted to leave but couldn't move- I was so exhausted )
I have been working on the house and hired workers. The walls are beautiful and the floors have come out wonderfully. I have also had law school , my lawyer and other major items to deal with. My workers and I get along well (we sometimes sing along to the music they bring as we work), and they often try to give back a portion of the money I pay them daily. Tonight we finished a big project and it really looks lovely. I paid them and then I changed clothes as I had to go to meet with my lawyer (I didn'treally want to as I need some sleep and some time to work on my paper. I was stepping outside and I noticed the workers were still on the porch, and very quiet. I told them that it was Friday night and they should go have fun and kick up their heels! They remained silent. I looked toward the front and there stood the Bagworm. He had done another arrogant parking job- this time blocking my egress at my front gate.
The workers remained, standing silently on the porch. They easily could have gone but stood watching (bless their hearts). I went to the front and told the Bagworm that I had to leave to see my lawyer, and he said that his lawyer (The Moron ) told him to show up at 5PM on the 15th . I tried to tell him that this is the 16th and that they hadn't submitted a listt and hadn't confirmed the appointment, but he turned his back and left in a contemptuous way (his manner with me ever since I became disabled) and sped off!
I called my lawyer and he became incensed about Bagworm violating the NC, and is really starting to put the pressure on Bagworm, and has worked out a way to get to my house ASAP if there is any trouble. After the call, I walked back to the house and the workers were still there, waiting. I wonder what NH Bagworm would have done if I had been alone? When I met with my attorney, he said that he has no choice but to get nasty with the Bagworm and Moron- they just won't learn!
As Ami says- Bleeh!
Love,
Changing
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Oh my gosh changing,
Is it where you sleep that prevents your sleeping, or is it worry, or fear?? I cannot go without my sleep. I am useless
Why did the men stay on the porch after Bagworm sped off....on the wrong day, yet? They were protecting you, I suspect when bagworm (well what did he do to block the gate....weird parking or more?) Was it so weird it made the men stay? How nice that y'all sing along together!
Oh dear ! The friend's place sounds.....hoardy????
Such a time you're having but your lawyer is a sweetie. You are hanging in there like a burr on a dog. Good for you!
Love
Izzy
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Hi Izzy-
I love the porpoise so much!!!! It reminds me of a facet of your personality, funny, lively, playful!
I have very little furniture here, and floors and painting, etc, making it tough to sleep, as well as having to get up early and stay up late just to keep up with things. A bad combo.
God bless my workers and my lawyer. The Bagworm doesn't challenge or bully them, only women with canes. I will try to sleep tonight, not work too late on my paper.
Love,
Changing
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Deep the silence 'round us spreading
all through the night.
Dark the path that we are treading
all through the night.
Still the coming day discerning
by the hope within us burning.
To the dawn our footsteps turning
all though the night.
Humming, pretending to be an angel (prolly not many unitarian angels around, but wot the heck)...watching over Changing....
protection and care,
Hops
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Hoppy-
You are an angel, and you helped lead and guide me out of N hell. Bless you, you little Unitarian you!!!
Love,
Changing
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Dear Changing,
You are always a picture of dignity and integrity whatever situation you find yourself in. I think that it was Divine Intervention that the workers were there.
I am sending prayers .. Keep yourself led by the Divine and use all your smarts and intuition. You are such a precious person. Bagworm seems defeated ,as he comes alone and with anger.
He seems to have known that he has lost.
I worry about you being there if he feels that he can just "come by". What do you think? I wish that your dog were older and the protective instinct has kicked in.
Consider having s/one there with you if you can.You are a wonderful example of handling a horrible situation with grace. Love Ami
(((((((((((((((((Changing)))))))))))))
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Still surprising.... after all this time.... and all the crap he's pulled.... still manages to shock, doesn't he?
I will say.... when I've slept on the floor in the middle of projects or after... I got a lot done. I may not sleep well or comfortably but it's usually a sign that I'm in high gear production mode. Sounds like you're doing just that and good things will come from your hard work.
You're a nice person so I'm not surprised your workers stood by you and made sure Bagworm got only to squirm last night.
I'm curiouse about what your attorney does next, now that bagworm and his moron have pushed so far.
Get throught the school stuff... doesn't have to be perfect... just complete, remember>?
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((((((((((((((Changing)))))))))))
Sending a hug to you and continued courage and strength.
Love, Beth
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Changing,
I think your workers are great to stay when they knew something was wrong. Bagworm must be getting desperate, now he knows he can't get his own way. Hopefully, it won't be too long before you're shot of him for good.
Janet
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Dear (((((CB, Ami, Lighter, Gratitude, Janet)))))-
What a joy to have a bevy of advisors and kind listeners whilst one is disentangling from an N- no one else could understand! Thank you so much- the advice is crucial, the support divine, and the feeling of being understood irreplaceable. One can process all of the seemingly incomprehensible N actions with the help of wise and caring counselors, amke sense of things and be able to discuss them with the non-N intiated, as well as formulate coping and fighting skills!!!!!
CB-Thank you, you sweet and stalwart friend- it is good to know that this will pass! I hope things just keep getting better for you! The house fixing is something I can do to make myself happy and I will be paid back for whatever I spend, out of the divorce (YAY!) I want to stay, because it would be hard as a disabled law student to qualify for something else, and in the long run, I will always make money from a house- tax write off, low housing cost, no landlord, large yard for the pups, etc. Of Course, I will just deal with whatever happens, but my lawyer says that I can keep it if I want to - he wanted to know in order to formulate our battle plan strategy.
Ami- You are such a pillar of strength , faith, and comfort for me. I only hope that you enjoy your happiness and do not sacrifice yourself and your precious time for others (including me) and lose out on the time that you have for yourself! My Sammy is getting bigger and he is very protective- but still an innocent baby. He is a lover boy with bug white teeth and a big low bark and a yen to sit on one's lap!!!
Lighter- You are right, as always. If there were children here, I would have to maintain the basics of domesticity. Instead, I can clear out all of the N vibes and accoutrements, and fashion a new place to my liking. I find pleasure in having something creative, practical and productive to do amidst the chaos- I can see a little progress every day!
My Lawyer and I worked for a long time last night, on getting different documents ready to be filed at a moment's notice, as different contingencies against the Bagworm and Moron. That way there will be no lapses in action and reaction times, unless it would be to our benefit to slow things down. We have a battle plan- if they fool with us during the implementation of plan A, we will go to plan B, etc- each step is progressively more contentious, etc. They would be smart to be civil and cooperative and honest, as the court has already admonished them for their bogus hearing filing, and this certainly taints future views of their actions in the eyes of the court. But who knows with an N (or 2 Ns)!!!! Letters detailing Bagworm and Moron's bad acts (except for possible fraud in Work Comp and Moron jumping my fence, which were broady hinted at) were created as well. So we will see what happens!
Gratitude-How you have stuck by me and understood my ups, downs and mistakes is truly miraculous, and I have much GRATITUDE for you. Thank you for the hug!!! I am glad things are clearing up for you ( and hope I can follow that path as well)!
Janet- My Darling and Wicked Artist Daughter! I hope you are happily doing your symbolic heart and soul messages- art bypasses the artificial boundaries (Art v artifice) and illuminates our species. I have at least until March until I am free. I hope Bagworm stops his relentless violations- at least he hasn't profited from them lately- maybe that will teach him?
Thanks to all!!!I got to sleep late again last night, but did notget up early today!! Delicious!
Love,
Changing
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Hi Changing--
Briefly, because I know you're busy...but would you enjoy describing a bit about what you're doing to transform the house? (I'm watching a home show right now--I adore seeing homes transformed...)
Only if it's fun.
xo
Hops
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Dear ((((((( Changing ))))))))
Love, Hope, Peace and Joy, with Courage, for your New Life ahead.
Love & Hugs,
Leah
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Changing....... I'm
in....
absolute.....
jaw dropping.....
awe.
Most attorneys do NOTHING but what their little crap formula calls for, usually without any mindful thought to the matter and certainly long after being proactive, was an option.
How outstanding this attorney must be?
How fortunate you are to have received this gift, not only bc he's your advocate but.....
bc he's also your teacher.....
and he believes in you.
I'm.......
never speechless, let's face it but, but.....
if I were going to be.....
it would be over something like this.
::sitting quietly by the keyboard feeling...... grateful:
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Hey changing
How are you doing?
I left a post for you on GS's 'Progress" thread. I just finished my cleaning and remaking the bed!!
But you are without a bed are you not? Are you not aching and paining in every body muscle you have?
I just love your workers. About what age would they be? I'm interested in knowing that, like if they are so young it would be unexpected for them to help.
I find that workmen, delivery men, male clerks are very friendly and helpful---well except for the guy who cleaned my carpet a few months back--not him really, but the carpet itself. It's like the cleaning just 'hid' certain stains and they popped up later?
There is one spot just where my front wheel sits as though someone spilled, as in dripped, something and I NEVER had that stain BEFORE he cleaned. Booga Booga. I see familiar stains popping back up, but not all. If I had oiled my front wheel and it dripped I could understand--but I didn't. Ah well! Can't see it when I'm sittin' on it!
How about your sleep? I couldn't do that. I am almost a narcoleptic, as I can doze off at the computer.
How about another update on Bagworm and Moron!
All is quiet here on the Northern front! Seems I have no new voiceless news!
Love
Izzy
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It's like the cleaning just 'hid' certain stains and they popped up later?
And you too Izzy !!!
I could not believe my eyes when a couple of stains popped back up --- thought it just happened to me :)
The very reason I had the carpet cleaned in the first place!
Love, Leah
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Oh My Good Heavens, Leah\
Then I am NOT craZY-----Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek I wonder how many people have lived in this apt. before MOI!????
At least it was clean fore 1 day!
ALL their oooooey goooooey things could still be in the carpeting. (Well the lino on the kitchen and bathroom floors looks like what people had on their kitchen floors when I was a kid.) OLd!!
I want new, but Superintendant said my lino is still in good shape.
Someone told me to pour hot water under it, if there is an opening. (There Is but I haven't) Then it would bulge then dry out and would crack----especially if I rolled over it, Ha Ha!!!!!
Thanks for responding, or I would have thought I was the only one as well.
Love
Izzy
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My Dear Friends-
I am back in my comfy pillowtop bed with an insane amount of pillows and crisp white linens, cozy comforters, chamomile tea, vanilla candles, etc- it is heaven!!! Not done with the house by a long shot, but my room is back to normal (except some storage boxes stacked up) Have to finish my paper, though!
Hoppy-
The wood floors are being redone. The walls are being painted Swiss Coffee, except the bath. The bath floor was redone with a faux stone tile- light with veins of natural colors. Everything is chrome, cool shower curatin rod, curtain rod , linen rack, robe hooks, cabinet knobs, etc. The tiled shower (tiled all around and overhead )is sand colored, as is the tile around the tub. The paint picks up the dominant tile color. The shower curtain, cutains towels and rugs are white cotton. I have a lovely chrome vase with masses of white flowers with a few tiny red-orange ones in it, and lots of chrome boxes for all of my stuff. I got those Glade electric candles and placed them all about. It looks very immaculate and serene in there. I haven't finished the kitchen. The living room has a wood floor and Swiss Coffee walls and ceilings. The ding room the same except there is a big window looking out on my back yard and the little fountain and potted floors , etc. I don't have much money, but am getting furniture piece by piece- None in those two rooms yet!!!) It is fun Hoppy, and I love exorcising the Bagworm from the premises in this way!
(((((Leah)))))-
Thank you for sharing your rainbow with me! I appreciate the Love, Peace , Hope and Joy you sent, and will take them with me tomorrow when I have to turn in my paper!
Lighter-
Your instructions on attorneys, etc really came in handy and provided great guidance. I am very glad that my lawyer is getting everything ready ahead of time, and that he sees what the Bagweorm is doing. I noticed , however, that in one of his letters to opposing council he said ":As you know our clients are not within the norm"-in other words we're both nuts!!! Maybe he will see as time goes by, that I am not exaggerating about Bagworm and his propensities. If I told him everything that I have posted here, he would really think I'm wacky, but I edited the N violations down.
My Darling Izzy-
The workers are young. I was urging them to leave and go out on the town, and they just stayed. How sweet is that? I am snuggled in my lovely bed, feeling super clean and cozy!!!Ahh!!My cases are all printed out, so I can finish my paper here on my laptop...How great is that?
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OOOOPS- I posted too soon, so I will continue-
Leah and Izzy- the usual method of commercial carpet cleaning leaves gunk in and adds residue as well. There is a new type that doesn't use soap, etc and actually takes out the stains- I will get the name and post it tomorrow.
Thank you again everyone for bearing with me through this ridiculous journey away from NH Bagworm. I know that to others who haven't been through this, it looks like I am just complaining over and over about the same thing, but actually progress is being made- this is a process not a transaction, as Ns keep coming back and back at one, which is why I keep posting about Bagworm antics and violations...Also, as I am so isolated (do Ns choose isolated victims like lions choose limping prey?) that the insight, smarts and support you have so generously shared with me have been invaluable- it has truly made the difference in my life in being able to work towards getting NH Bagworm-free. You are all a precious balm for my heart.
Love From Your Grateful Friend,
Changing
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Changing,
You are NOT 'complaining over and over about the same thing'. If you went back to the beginning when you joined the forum, you might see the progress you've made, that everyone else can see!
You're doing great, don't worry about it!
Janet
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Changing:
I don't think you attorney meant anything in your letter that you wouldn't agree with.
When he said.... "Neither client is typical" or whatever..... I took it that he meant there's abuse involved..... a jackass jackal riding a handicapped woman insanely.
Not all clients fit that criteria :shock:
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Changing-I am imagining the scenario like I am watching a movie. I feel like all your new chrome and everything has a Pottery Barn feel to it. Your bed feels crisp and is without left over Bag germs on it! If you do not mind, could you tell me what sort of disability you have? I might have missed it-I have been in the midst of all my own stuff that I have not stayed plugged in as I wished.
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Dear ((((( Changing )))))
Definitely NOT, you are not 'complaining over and over about the same thing' --- not one tiny bit, not at all :)
Every good wish to you today with your paper.
Your home emits a real sense of serenity, and truly, such a wonderful setting for your new life with new beginnings. So very very happy for you.
I am back in my comfy pillowtop bed with an insane amount of pillows and crisp white linens, cozy comforters, chamomile tea, vanilla candles, etc
Oh, that sounds like pure bliss to me.
All of this fills me to the brim with uplifting encouragement to persevere with my list of things to do and get done, here in my home, as I have determined, that my home will again be a haven of love, peace, joy and serenity --- with its doors thrown open wide for dear folk to enter in and enjoy sincere hospitality and fellowship.
That's my hearts desire for my new life ahead, with new beginnings.
Bless you Changing.
Love, Leah
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Dear Changing,
What a beautiful picture of you on your "comfy" bed.Kelly,I picture "Pottery Barn" ,too. To answer your question about N's;they chose "isolated " prey.IF the prey is not isolated ,the N WILL isolate them. My H tried to turn Maria against me. Now, that I think of it, He tried to tell Maria that I was "crazy"---YIKES(in light of my last thread). MY H is trying to take away my mental health, too---just like my M.
SORRY for the digression--it just hit me.
Changing, one day ,I would like to hear how you kept yourself so intact in spite of all your challenges:how you didn't shatter inside.
Changing,I am so happy for you and so glad that I "know" you. Love Ami
((((((((((((((((((((Changing)))))))))))))))))))))
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Hello Janet , Lighter, Overcomer, Leah, Ami-
Thank you for the lovely posts. I do love Pottery Barn catalogues- have never been to their store, though. The bath is sort of a Pottery Barn/Country Home mix. I take pictures from Architectural Digest, catalogues, Victorian Home, etc, and try to copy what I like a closely as possible on my miniscule budget. I used to do florist work, so I get a discount at the Mart and can do professional looking arrangements for the rooms. It looks like it works rather well if you cross your eyes while you are looking st the finshed product! ( Though I will never be able to copy the bath of my dreams on the cheap , saw it in Atrchitectural Digest built by a set designer on an estate- unique and out of this world!) It feels so good to have the Bagworm scraped off the walls and floors. His stuff is outside and packed in plastic boxes- he hasn't retrieved it STILL (another appointment made for this Saturday night at 5:00- he needs to send a list and confirm, has never done this, so.... and still gives his old work this address , so they send stuff here, this time a huge box with his Company Christmas Gift in it (he doesn't want them to know where he is living and who he is consorting with now- that could lose him his Work Comp case as it appears that he might be dealing with some rather nefarious characters, not in keeping with what he said in his deposition)
Bagworm is not paying his bills, and I keep getting calls. My lawyer told me to give the callers his Moron Lawyer's number and address, but the larger issue is whether or not I will be stuck with paying them! My lawyer assures me that he is working on this, but who knows- these Ns are unusually treacherous. I'm sure our savings are all gone by now, that jackal!!! He was bankrupt when we married, even though he made big money. I dedicated myself to sacrificing to turn that around- how sick is that?!?!?!That N FOO of mine throwing me away really taught me some unhealthy self-denigrating habits!!! NEVER AGAIN!!! And as for my friend (the one I paid $600 to for the idea of a room (another good joke Lighter)), I will no longer bail her out , either! BLEEH!!!
Thank you again for your encouragement.
Love and Peace,
Changing
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He was bankrupt when we married, even though he made big money. I dedicated myself to sacrificing to turn that around- how sick is that?!?!?!That N FOO of mine throwing me away really taught me some unhealthy self-denigrating habits!!! NEVER AGAIN!!! And as for my friend (the one I paid $600 to for the idea of a room (another good joke Lighter)), I will no longer bail her out , either! BLEEH!!!
I know exactly, exactly, exactly how this goes and how it feels and I am SO GLAD to hear you say it and value your lovely self changing!
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(((((((((Changing)))))))))
I am so happy about your bed post (ha--bed post--do you get it? ha ha!) and all the pillows and I picture it all in white and you in a white negligee with a white bow in your hair and looking like Vivian Leigh beiing spoiled by Rhett Butler Wwwwwwwhoo whoo
The craziness continues, but I've never heard you complain, and I feel you are about to soon see the end of it all. What a grand relief that will be!!
Bagworm sounds like the worst of the Ns, referred to on Board, but that is becasue he has a name.
And you are in school and finishing, let alone starting, your papers.
You are a joy to behold!
Love Izzy
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Oh it sounds absolutely lovely, Changing.
My inner decorating diva is heaving great envious sighs.
(Naaaah. She's gonna be fine when I can release her one day.)
Note to self:
Step
back
from
the
orange
paint
I am so glad you have this comfort and pleasure and that you're unashamed to create a nurturing space for yourself! Tells me a lot about why you're so emotionally healthy, despite it all.
love
Hops
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My Dear Iphi , Shunned, Izzy , and Hoppy-
I turned my paper in at law school today with a big 5 minutes to spare until the deadline. Lawyers, police, Bagworms, hearings ,etc have eaten up my time and energies and my paper stunk- but I did it and turned it in! It was something I could have (coulda shoulda) excelled in, but now I just pray that I passed!!!
Iphi- Thank you for understanding. Love and compassion is one thing- rescuing vile Bagworms is quite another!!!
Shunned- OOOH I do love your idea. maybe I'll use a mister when/if bagworm shows up to get his stuff!!!
Izzy-Thank you for the diploma, etc! it made me smile after the lousy paper I turned in!!! But I will do better after stinky Bagworm is eradicated from my life!!!! (IN MARCH!)
Hoppy-You know I actually saw a guy in the paint store the other day buying an extremely vivid orange color of paint, specialy mixed. I asked what he was going to paint with it, and he said "A bedroom."
You would laugh if you saw how bare things are here, but I love it. It's clutter/Bagworm free in most rooms!!! I don't know if I'm all that emotionally healthy, but I do have a tendency to be easily amused and can usually forget about whatever is bothering me when it isn't in the immediate picture, and be happy (except for extreme issues, as when my poor brother was strapped to his hospital bed in extremis and suffering, and no one would sign the do not resucitate order- I had no peace then, day or night.) I really think that having you and my other friends/counselors here has made all the difference to me and my life. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Love and Thanks,
Changing
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Changing: I don't understand why Bagworm can't just get his things while you're not there. Can't he just get his things from the yard and NOT GO INTO THE HOUSE?
That little shit. ::eye twitching::
I suppose they can offset his blowing all the joint savings with other things? Like the equity in the house? His becoming responsible for certain other bills?
Don't fret over that paper..... as long as it was turned in.... it's ok. As long as you pass you're moving forward and it'll be all right.
Why don't you know where he lives yet, or do you? WHat happened with that Private Eye?
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Dear Changing,
You are truly, a wonderful genuine person, and it is a real privilege to know you.
As Izzy says, quite rightly; You are a Joy to Behold.
Love & Blessings,
Leah
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Hi Lighter-
The first time that NH Bagworm was supposed to pick up his things amicably, he brought police, gave them a false story, and picked up guns that his psychiatrist had ordered kept from him. This was, to say the least, traumatic as the cops were acting strangely and threatened to arrest or shoot me! Investigators began prowling about the property, calling through the fence for the Bagworm, etc. at different hours of the day and night. Then his Moron Lawyer climbed my locked fence and screamed, violently banged on my door and windows, and tried to force my door open, in order to serve me with a summons for a bogus hearing and divorce. (Had I known that he was serving divorce papers I would have welcomed him and served tea and crumpets! However, he just screamed threats and tried to open my door)
These events cost me in time, money, and health that I could ill afford, and strained my ability to do my work in law school. After Bagworm and Moron were admonished on the day of the bogus emergency support hearing occasioned by false court filings, they stipulated that there would be no more of these incidents , and that a list would be given to my attorney of items to be picked up, and a confirmation of the date, etc as well. The list would preclude any weirdness that just looking about for whatever he fancied to take (Moron Lawyer's idea of picking up items) could provoke.Two days later after having made agreements not to call, show up, write his stupid letters demanding things, etc., the Bagworm showed up and tried to force me to sign documents giving up my rights to a car, etc New legal documents were drafted.
Then last Thursday, Bagworm and Moron were supposed to submit a list and confirm an appointment set for that night for Bagworm to get his things. No word came. Then unexpectedly, Bagworm came on Friday as I was leaving for a meeting with my lawyer. He left without incident, due at least in part to the presence of witnesses.
I dare not leave the gate open with his things there- he could allege that I disposed of them or some such thing, as is his pattern so far. I don't feel good about him just coming by either, ever since the bogus police incident. I have to act in accordance with the requirements for his coming here if I am to protect the legal boundaries that are there, or receive new and better ones. He has been violent and threatened to kill me in the past and now he has guns- not a good combo. I do not want to write about some of the other items, as there are issues that may place me in jeopardy.
I will be getting recompense for the savings drained, but in the end, the costs in the interim may outweigh any court attempt at equalization. Also, Bagworm is apparently not paying his bills and I am afraid that I may be stuck with them.
It seems that Bagworm is intent upon violating agreements and using underhanded means to get his way and avoid all responsibility. He has been violent in the past and I did not report him, as he planned to have me arrested as well by lying and saying that I hit him also. After he left I tried to be civil and deal with him normally. This turned out to be a bad idea. I must keep whatever barriers I have intact, document everything, and not give the court any reason to doubt my sincerity in the matter, as the negotiations are going to get more intense and the stakes higher. BLEEH!
Anyway, I just have to keep on keeping on for a while longer, and I am making progress- in March I will be free of Bagworm and I won't look back!
Love,
Changing
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Hi Leah-
Thank you for your sweet message, and for your kindness, understanding and support throughout the progress of my ascent from N bondage! I pray that things just keep getting better and better for you- you deserve it!
Love,
Changing
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Changing.... it always takes longer than you think it will.
Don't get too attached to that March date..... so you aren't crestfallen if it moves back a bit.
I'm guessing Bagworm told the police you'd threatened him and you had the guns so they were being very careful, indeed.
Now he has the guns..... is there something that can be done about that since his phsychiatrist said it's a bad idea AND he's threatened your life with them before?
I guess you'd do somehting, if you could.
Very frustrating.
Who will be there at the time BW comes to get his things? Who makes sure he's behaving and leaving you alone? Who makes sure his things ALLL get picked up so that part's over and done with? Do you have to house his things indefinately and what happens if they get stolen before he gets over there? WHat if HE steals them then claims you did soemthing with them?
You just know he's going to claim all his stuff's not there or whatever he needs to do to cast himself as the victim again. Did you take pictures of boxes contents or are you going to have them opened with BG picks them up and sign off on release....
or......
something?
So much exposure for those who play by the rules...... so little for those who don't: /
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Hi changing,
These people thrive on putting other people at risk while relying on the quiescence of others to have nothing at risk of their own.
Perhaps you should consider a civil suit seeking compensation for what he has cost you and for the pain he has intentionally inflicted on you. Until there is a cost to their behavior they will not alter it. You're already in court with the loon. At the very least it gives you leverage, and it might give you some small compensation for the harm he has done as well.
mud
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Hi Miss Lighter-
This parasitic Bagworm just won't go away nicely!
There will be a marshall on the property when he gets his stuff, which is why we required a confirmationof the appointment for pick up. The purpose of requiring a list sent through my lawyer is to preclude some of the problems inherent in dealing with the big fat liar- it is a final list, so no hunting and poking about, either. I will be videotaping as well. However, one cannot prevent him saying that I kept his Modigliani paintings or priceless jewelery, etc. I just have to deal with the mess in his wake until I am no longer legally required to fool with him. BLEEH. But there is some pleaseure in knowing that the goal is being Bagworm and Moron free!!! I have a fantasy that Bagworm will tire of these petty wars, but I realize that this is highly unlikeily unless he gets a J-O-B!
I am shooting for March as my release date- if it takes longer, then I will hang in and push the divorce along as I can. Since we don't have children, the stickiest wicket in divorce is not a factor. The pensions, house, 401 Ks and such are the real issues now. I want to be as safe as possible, do what I want to do without his dagburnned interference and try to move forward as much as I can with my own agenda while the divorce is going on, so no matter what, I am working toward better things!
Thank you for the heads up brainy Lighter-I wil try to make sure that I cover whatever chinks in my armor that I can!!!
Love,
Changing
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Hi Mud!
Thank you so much for your brilliant idea. I kept your earlier notion regarding hitting Ns continuously after winning a battle with them, etc, in mind after the hearing. When he showed up , called and such in violation of our stipulations and I had my lawyer go after him, and when I spoke with my lawyer and we devised our strategy, I was trying to accomplish the continuous slapdowns . Bagworm has been slapped down each time for every little thing- it may seem like overkill, but it was a way to document a pattern of behavior as well as to prevent my foe from gaining any advantage by virtue of his violations. Your concepts have been a great help, and I wasn't surprised or damaged by Bagworm's attempts at further violations- you had prepared me.
I have a few days until finals start at law school, so I will look seriously into this new subject of suing for reparations- sounds like a fun and effective method of pest eradication!!!
Thank you so much for your incredible help!!! I hope that you and your loved ones have a lovely Thanksgiving!!!
Changing
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it may seem like overkill
There is no such thing as overkill when fighting the undead. :P
sounds like a fun and effective method of pest eradication
Paying a lawyer is never fun but holding these creeps accountable, civilly, can be very effective.
They survive by intimidating, bullying and generally making others so miserable that they are never held accountable for their actions. I think it is a rare priveledge for one of their victims to be the first to enlighten them to the actual real world costs of their destructive behaviors.
If they weren't such ingrates they might consider thanking the person who so enlightens them, but I wouldn't advise holding your breath.
mud
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mudpuppy, have I ever mentioned how much I like the way you think? 8)
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Mud-
Iphi is so right (sees the truth in the big picture always)! I love the way your mind works, and appreciate your insight into the malelovent machinations of Ns- you have it down to a science!!! Thank you for your support in the battle!
I have been gathering documents, etc., in order to assess what I can do in regard to suing the Bagworm. I wonder if he will submit a lsit and confirmation this weekend to my lawyer?
Thank You Again and Best Wishes to Everyone for a Wonderful Thanksgiving,
Changing
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Love You, Changing and Happy Thanksgiving to you ,too. Ami
(((((((((((((Changing))))))))))))))
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Iphi and changing,
I appreciate the compliments but I really only have two basic insights:
1) Ns are implacable and rigidly insecure.
2) Ns shrivel up and die in the light of the courtroom and its standards of evidence.
Most of my posts are just variations on those two themes.
mud
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Yo just because it is simple does not mean it is not brilliant, mudly. Au contraire mon frere. Happy turkey day!
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(((((Ami, Mud, Iphi)))))-
Ami, I see you on a stage- playing music or talking about your latest book. You have a gift for comfortimg and inspiring and sharing. Happy Thanksgiving!
Mud, your obvious knowledge and experience with Ns is very precious, and your generosity in giving that information to others coupled with a heartfelt support is unique and invaluable- I carry your illustrations in my head, ie hit em on the head with a mallet, etc-Unfortunately, though your wisdom seems simple and intuitive to you, I may well have doen the wrong thing, tried to see if Bagworm would learn, etc, instead of being on the ready for a slapdown- that would have been a mistake and resulted in another painful lesson for me! Thank you again, and I love the two main notions "Ns are implacable and rigidly insecure" and "Ns shrivel up and die in the light of the courtroom and its standards of evidence"- Good Lord, one could study just these truths for a lifetime!!!THANK YOU MUD!!!
Iphi, hope you have a happy holiday with your sweet family, and that you know how much you are valued and loved- you are really special Iphi- and you also know a lot about everything- you are so interesting and complex!!!
Love and Happy Thansgiving to All!!!
Changing
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Changing,
You have such a very generous, genuine way of seeing and affirming each individual.
More than once your posts have lit my heart with some of what we all need like soul nutrition.
I just want to say how beautiful it is to read your posts.
hugs
Hops
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I think that Changing can take lemons and make lemonaide. Love to you Ami