Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Hopalong on November 22, 2007, 10:55:10 PM
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http://www.nwei.org/NWEI/Voluntary_Simplicity.html
I'd like this thread to be on any related topic that anybody feels like commenting on, such as (but it's a biiiiiiig topic):
Clutter
Consuming
Meaning of Spending
Shopping
Our Relationship to the Earth
Do We Need Lawns
What is Enough?
Do We Own Our Stuff?
Does Our Stuff Own Us?
Our Precious Time
You get my drift...anything like that and wherever we take it!
xo
Hops
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And my first little bit is a Thanksgiving blessing that visited me:
I had a burst of simplicity tonight and cleaned up my room. Not the paperwork, but everything else, and even the paperwork is corralled in a portable bin. Ready for some out-of-the-house coffeehouse paperwork this week!
Silly
ordinary
but to me
a great moment
love
Hops
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Well Done hops,
As we all know how we do it is by doing it!!!!!!!!
Axa
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Do we own our stuff?
Relatively.
We do not take anything when we die. The worms will eat us and the "stuff" will stay here.
Like a football player that works all his life for that and brakes his knee and cannot paly anymore. What is left to him?
I guess we need basics and after that, everything is luxory. After the basics everything is a "plus".
To stop to smell the roses, metaphorically. What a wonderful sensation after a hard day of work, long day, to go to bed and feel my tempurpedic mattress. It is wonderful.
What a wonderful sensation to finally learn a dance step that has been practiced a lot.
What a nice feeling when I know that I post and I will have answers, wether I like the answeres or not, but the fact that somebody is answering, that there is another human being at the other side of this computer trying to communicate with me.
Thank you for this thread Hopalong.
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One of the simplicity things that I am learning to treasure and appreciate is:
Those boring days when nothing happens.
I love them, nothing happens, means, nothing bad happened, just peace and rest.
Like today. I love the day of today Friday. Just sitting in my apartment, alone, with my lap top, posting and enjoying a day when nothing happens.
The news say that mall were open at 4:00 o'clock AM and were packed and crowded.
I do not have a single cent to go shopping, but I feel so peaceful, so SIMPLE.
I love it.
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The news say that mall were open at 4:00 o'clock AM and were packed and crowded.
I do not have a single cent to go shopping, but I feel so peaceful, so SIMPLE.
Me neither! :)
It's a free day for me today.
Enjoyed a lovely walk this morning in the brisk cold sunshine, did not cost me anything, yet received a lovely feeling of peace,
and freshness.
Enjoy your day.
Love, Leah
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I feel at peace ,too, b/c I am dischaging some of this crazy N thinking . Even letting go of a little makes me feel so wonderful that I could dance. Ami
(((((((((Lupita,Leah)))))))))))))
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I have some things to talk about simplicity and voluntary simplicity.
I lost 40 lb. I lowered my cholesterol, took away the back pains, helped my arthritis, etc.
But most of it, I like the body I see in the mirror.
So, if you take away the helth issues, should have I lost weight just for my own pleasure? Is that taking away simplicity?
And how about cosmetic surgery. I am not talking about reconstructive. But merely for the desire to look better.
As you guys know, in my country I was a doctor and I still have several friends who are plastic surgeons. They would perform a plastic surgery for me for free. I would stay in my mother's house and I would have to pay only my ticket and the material they would use plus medicines. I do not have a single cent right now. But, if I ever get to public schools, and save some money, that is a feasable project.
Does that take away my simplicity and my love for simplicity?
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NO
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Voluntary simplicity is a fine ideal.
However there is unfortunately some busy-body gene in humans which all too often causes people to try and make the simplicity they voluntarily engage in compulsary for those who don't.
Only freedom should be compelled. I believe in voluntary simplicity and compulsary liberty.
mud
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Okay, Mudbro, you can keep your truck. :P
Leah, my Simplicity Covenant Group starts in January.
I think about this stuff a lot because both in my job and spiritually and personally, I am drawn to things like:
--vegetarianism
--green architecture or remodeling
--sustainability
--the work of Friez Haeg
--organic
--locavore
--closer relationship to animals
--endangered species
--planting local varieties
--heirloom seeds
--energy conservation
Mind you, "drawn to" in my case means "think about a lot". I'm too overwhelmed + lazy + morally slothful to enact it all. In my life, it has meant so far, changing all lightbulbs to CFLs, eliminating junk mail and recycling, carrying a tote bag and trying not to take plastic bags at stores, selling CFLs at church to fund Green Sanctuary programs, starting a side business (preimilaries, on pause now) selling something organic that will use recycled products in part, giving up meat and poultry (not fish, and had a few worse lapses a couple weeks ago), and starting Dr. Schultze's Superfood! (Ami, meant to tell you...I FEEL it. Amazing energy lift.)
There's more. But it just interests me on every level. Not as deprivation and martyrdom. Just as a direction I believe we all must go, it's good to go, and ultimately we'll be forced to go by changes in the world. I embrace it anyway, so might as well get a head start. And it excites me. Architecture has always excited me, and innovation excites me. Years ago, my ex taught me about Bucky Fuller. Today, I think Bucky's equivalents are the Green planners, designers, alternative energy technology people.
Anyway, de-cluttering is a good place for me to focus where I can accomplish something this winter.
love
Hops
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Just as a direction I believe we all must go, it's good to go, and ultimately we'll be forced
to go by changes in the world.
Uh oh, starting to sound like "four legs good, two legs bad". :P
BTW this thread reminds me of one of my favorite Bob Newhart jokes;
Thoreau was famous for telling people to "Simplify, simplify".
Newhart said, "Wouldn't it have been simpler if he'd just said it once?"
For some reason that always cracks me up.
mud
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Hi Everyone-
This thread is funny and profound- my favorites. I am voluntarily/involuntarily simplified- and I love it (most of the time- uh-oh, more complexity!)! Lots of work though, and lots of undoing- will it ever end? This is yet another subject that is taboo in the 3D world on any meaningful level. I have found Izzy's example to be of significant benefit on this subject, and very freeing. Leah, Ami Lupita- Thank you for your sharing, it helps me to face my own "stuff" with clarity and purpose! Mud, I share your notions of compulsary freedom and voluntary choices. And the joke s are good, too! Hoppy, you rock as always!!! You are so honest and wise and deep and friendly to the world and its fragile creatures (including the frailties of mankind)- every post has so much in it to feed and nurture good thoughts and good living.
Love,
Changing
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Oh heck, Mud...I didn't mean forced by other people or legislation, I was referring to being forced to by Mama/Papa Nature.
I HOPE conservation will take off like Peace 'n Love and be voluntary.
Anyhow, didn't mean this to be a political thread, notatall...
:D
Hops
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Oh, I love this topic! I wanted to respond to this earlier, but I didn't get the chance. We were on our way out to see Mr. Magorium. That was my Black Friday contribution.
This topic is something that I often think about. I am a self-admitted packrat. I would buy one thing and end up with a huge collection, and then I couldn't enjoy the one thing I'd bought and really wanted. When I moved, one of the things I wanted to do was get rid of clutter. Things that didn't fit. Things I didn't use. Things I had too many of. I wanted to organize and simplify, because I was drowning in stuff.
I still have a lot of stuff, I'll admit, but I have gotten rid of so much stuff since I moved. I Threw away tons of papers. I threw away cards. I threw away things that were broken, things that I just couldn't use and were of no value. I threw away school papers, art projects, etc, because I just didn't have room for them. I wanted a new uncluttered look. I donated boxes of books to the library because I didn't have space for them. I'm still getting rid of things. I'd bring things from my parents' house and take them to the donation place or the resale store. I put things on Ebay.
When I lived with them, I was never allowed to get rid of anything. My mother wouldn't let me sell or donate any clothing, even if it didn't fit. I might lose weight and be able to wear it. It didn't matter if it was totally out of style. If I'd weed out collections, she stick it in a box in case I changed my mind. I still have a lot the toys from when I was kid. And I don't really want them. She even made me keep packaging for M's things. Boxes. When I moved I threw away a lot of that stuff because there was no room for it.
Being able to finally get rid of some of this junk is such a relief.
I also noticed that I soothed a lot of my depression by spending money, buying myself treats. I have bought a lot of things, but they've been things for home, things I needed, not useless things like clothes, jewelry, books, etc. Not clutter. I bought curtains, things to hang on my living room wall, some pretty candle holders for the table. And kitchen stuff, because when I moved I didn't have a decent skillet or utensils.
My mother claimed she "helped me as much as she could with my move." Unfortunately, I still ended up with very few things that I could actually use.
I'm still working on living a simpler life. I haven't quite succeeded yet, but I don't miss spending a lot of money on new outfits or shoes or books or anything like that. I'd much rather see that money in the bank than on a credit card.
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Well I messed up on my getting rid of things.
I went out in my sqaull jacket and it was freezing, so I went to a store and bought a new Winter Jacket and I already have a good one here. At least I was warm.
Izzy
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And my first little bit is a Thanksgiving blessing that visited me:
I had a burst of simplicity tonight and cleaned up my room. Not the paperwork, but everything else, and even the paperwork is corralled in a portable bin. Ready for some out-of-the-house coffeehouse paperwork this week!
Silly
ordinary
but to me
a great moment
YEAH!!!! Congrats - that must feel good!
I know that I tend to clean real house just after I have done a lot of emotional house cleaning.
Just today I was releasing some anger, feeling infantile, 2 years old and teenage all over again. Afterwards I looked over at my curtains and noticed that I had not washed them for many months and that they needed a good cleaning. I took them down and through them in the laundry. The cleaner my insides get the more clean my house. The simpler my thoughts the simpler my life needs to be.
Thanks
Hops
Lise
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Oh Hops! WOnderful to read you got in there and focused on decluttering your space.
Just love that!
I did some on Wed too.... felt marvelous. WIsh I could make those feelings stay: /
::going to read second page of thread::
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Ahhhh... you guys are an inspiration.
Thanks for this thread..... ::going to tackle SOMETHING in the house, with happy energy::
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Hops,
Oh heck, Mud...I didn't mean forced by other people or legislation....
Just messin' with ya.
I HOPE conservation will take off like Peace 'n Love....
Peace and love are taking off? :? You must watch the Kumbaya News Network.
mud
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what is compusory freedom? Sounds like an oximoron.
I like the idea of simplicity. Some people get all hyper about simplifying and it is a real pain in the butt. Sort of a bit too righteous.
I became a bit of a pack rat while living with N. I started buying saris. As some of you know I am pretty creative and this was a passion of mine for awhile. I thought about all the beautiful things I could make with them. Curtains, kids costumes, dress up for counselling kids, lampshades, pillows. For some reason there was an ongoing supply in a city about an hour away. It was as if Osama Bin Laden was living here with his multitude of wives. The second hand store would get oodles of them in from time to time. Well, I got piles of them. I could not resist them.
Probably my soul crying out for beauty.
Now I find people to give them to. Of course they are pretty interesting people. These are saries just dripping with jewels and stuff.
My point is that some times I like lots of stuff and sometimes I want to live like a Budhist Nun.
Lately I am more of the latter. Along with this getting rid of stuff is the loss of weight. Just getting healthier all round.
There just isn't one formula that works. I probably need to go to a clutter specialist.
This has been a darling chat.
Sea storm
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Sea, I've missed you!
So nice to wake up and find you here.
I love the notion of your sari-draped surroundings.
I would love a sari. Give one to someone goofy for me.
I made myself a necklace this weekend and I was surprised. Can I tell you?
I have some buttons, and the other women all brought beads...
It has rough rock beads, all a-kilter, and I used little ladylike pearly ones as the spacer beads, and the other predominant color is a soft brown -- beads off an antique curtain I bought 30 years ago, plus two soft purple. None big. I took 3 antique glass beads in a geometric shape and put them at the bottom, with all the nature-colors marching up each side from that. It's the contrast between the dressy-looking crystal and the rough earthy beads that appealed to me but I didn't kow if it would work. It did.
I miss making things. The weeks fly too fast.
love
Hops
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Hi seastorm,
What I meant was that many individuals like the state to compel others to live as they believe people should live and do what they think people should do. That is cumpulsary voluntarism.
I think the state should protect it's citizens from direct harm and otherwise leave people alone. And if the state has to be compelled by its citizens to do so to maintain their liberty they should. That's compulsary freedom. We're not compelled to be free, the state is compelled to leave us free.
mud
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Freedom eh. I am Canadian you see.
Boy that is sure a good idea. Keep the government out of the freedom of the people. The more I read about narcissim and sociopahts, the more I see that they are gravitating toward administrative postiitions in government and in corporations. This is a major lemon suck.
OHHHHH
HOps I love Love love your description of your creation. I am so pleased that you are spending time in just creating beauty and not out there madly trying to justify your existence with good works. I have restrained myself from doing so many good works. I began to see it as a kind of insipid and not all that helathy
...
I have been reinventing myself for the last few months. I really had to drag myself up by the hair, turn myslef inside out and look at myself and my life through new eyes. I admitted that my life was unmanageable. I was so unhappy and broken. The dark night of my soul was poured onto this website. Thank god you were there.
So one thing I did was to start a group for creative people. Sort of a salon. I love the art of conversation and I love drawing,painting, making stuff.
I made myself go out and do things much against my nature which is to stay home with the cat and read a good book and poke at the fire.
Anyway, today was one of the meetings .
One woman writes plays and said she has seen angels. Her daughter came and iis working on a big painting with the theme "What lies beneath"
One woman is a wonderful bellydancer ( Not pornographic but just beautiful dancing) She is drawing stuffed creatures. She really likes the saries and she now has two of my collection.
There is an Irish woman who used to work in the movies as a costume designer. She is Irish and no one can say her name. We all try but never get it right.
Today we all drew a suffed elephant with our left hands. They were so wonderful that I asked them to give me the drawings and I will get them framed.
As they were drawing I read to them a meditation on The Temple of Healing.
So after a year of bone chilling loneliness and isolation I have not shrivelled up but have found my pod. Laughing friends . we are all glad we found each other and it is sort of miraculous in this mill town where it rains way too much.
I never had good news before. Now I pray and I give it up to God and I try to remember to be grateful.
Last year I was seriously depressed and suicidal. I just couldnt shake those intrusive thoughts of hopelessness. Brick by brick I rebuilt my life. Now I am back at work and will be starting to work four days instead of three days.
What happened? I was crushed by a Narcissistic Boss and a Narcissistic partner. I have surprised myself with my resiliency. I thought the pain would kill me.
I will never forget the solace and kindness of people at Voicelessness.
For those who are beginning the journey of separating from A Nrcissist I know how hard that is. There is so much written on who THEY are but not much on what happens to their targets or victims. Now I believe that no one deserves to be gaslighted, slandered, lied to, swindled, belittled and enslaved by these people anymore than one would desreve to be run over by a truck.
I had to make the choice to let the wouned part of myself stop making decisions about how I was going to choose to live my life. She is still there but she is healing now. I love to sleep when I want, eat 10 Japanese oranges for dinner. get a Kitty at the SpCA, drink tea and watch old movies and I enjoy being alive. That is a miracle.
I feel such love and tenderness for the friends who helped me find my voice here.
Sea storm
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Hi Hops,
I think I understand your idea. At least, this is what it means to me. Living life simply for one's own edification and if in doing so, it ministers to others (and it almost surely will)...WONDERFUL!
tt
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sea storm (http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif) (http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif) (http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/rose2.gif)
How wonderful to read your last post. I am thrilled with how happy and peaceful you sound, and your friends sound like great finds too.
Kudos to you, gal. Good Going!
I always remember you,as you are Canadian, live in the same province and were the first one to respond when I first posted.
Keep on keeping happy!
Love
Izzy
[attachment deleted by admin]
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Nice inspiration and support here.
Love,
Hops
http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/ (http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/)
http://blog.neatandsimple.com/ (http://blog.neatandsimple.com/)
http://www.unclutterer.com/ (http://www.unclutterer.com/)
http://psychologyofclutter.wordpress.com/ (http://psychologyofclutter.wordpress.com/)
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Hey everyone,
Uh oh, starting to sound like "four legs good, two legs bad".
I like simple. My version. My version isn't apt to stir up much controversy or excitement. I don't think it will have you dragging your knuckles anytime soon, Mud! :P
tt
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Sea,
I rejoice in your engagement with life. Your salon sounds wonderful.........would love to be part of it.
axa
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Dear Hops,
Bonfires are my cure for clutter :D
((((((((((Hopsy)))))))))) I love you.
Carolyn
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Sure, Leah...post away!
A laugh would be very welcome.
Hops
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Continuing to unclutter.
I built a bonfire and it was helpful. It was a pleasure to see the stuff go up in smoke. Old chairs that just needed to be glued and painted. Years of art projects uncompleted. Clothes etc. This is so much easier than recycling it all. A lot of it would not be accepted by a second hand store anyway.
I hired a details expert to organize my stuff and enourage me to throw out stuff. This was fifteen dollars an hour and worth every penny. I still lhave tons more to get rid of due to my love of treasure hunting. I have lots of lovely things that have a chip in them or a crack running down the back or requireing buttons etc. All that Potential. And out it goes.
I keep the siimplicity idea in the crosshairs but I am not good at it. I dreamt that I was drowning in stuff and it was so clear that I just need to throw the stuff out. Hmmmmm perhaps it is a metaphor for my life.
So thank you for reminding me of simplifying things. I am just noodling along and getting there slowly. As I do that my house looks better and I like that.
Sea storm
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(((((((((((Carolyn, Axa, TT))))))))))
Sea, how amazing and wonderful! You actually DID a bonfire! Wow.
And Leah, that's a great story. BURRRRRRRP!
I am so happy to read these responses, because I just bumped the thread because I'm stalled again.
You all inspire me.
love,
Hops
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Welllllll, back in 2007, when I was sure I was going to declutter and get All Organized, I started this thread. Re-read it just now (Sea! Saris! Salon!) and enjoyed revisiting old friends....
But not the Old Issue. That said, figured I'd just face that fact (its durability) and pick up from where I left off.
Knee is a problem, but not an excuse. Morning's soon over and I pledge to...DO. Just "do domestic" instead of watch, read, write the day away. I hope.
Hugs,
Hops
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Ooh I didn't even know this thread was here, Hopsie, I think it pre-dates me! I wish I could send you some of my organisational vibes, Hopsie, I love sorting out great big piles of stuff, I would whizz through your place, we could put the music on loud, drink tea and teach Pooch to dance all at the same time :) Have you picked up any little tips or methods over the years that have helped or does it remain a big question mark problem? I'm remembering you saying about doing the 'child at play' thing when the MulitMix exploded - does that help with clutter or is it only good for kitchen spills? Would writing about it inspire you to do it more or is it just beyond inspiration? Sending tidy thoughts from across the pond :) xx
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Thanks, Tupp.
Have you picked up any little tips or methods over the years that have helped or does it remain a big question mark problem?
I've learned all the pragmatic + ADD tips in the books--don't need methods or tips; in fact when people respond with those it makes me feel worse. The problem is only my psychological resistance, anxiety and perfectionism and laziness and avoidance and fear of failure and self sabotage. Near-phobic territory at times, other times I just make my peace with it. I'm working on it with my T.
I'm remembering you saying about doing the 'child at play' thing when the MulitMix exploded - does that help with clutter or is it only good for kitchen spills?
My T asked me if I could just access that amazing energy/mood again. I'm sitting with the question. I think I'll find a way to let it out again, just don't know when.
I mentioned something about my frustration over it to M the other day, and he came up with the delightful idea that he would set up a chart with my tasks to do and monitor it for me. He had started to ask me now and then, did you do this? Did you finish that? I hope he was joking, but told him I didn't want to answer any more questions and didn't want him ever to in any way remotely try to coach or supervise or instruct me about it. "You're not my daddy" was my killer phrase. I shut him down with a thud but the idea that he would leap to do that--and being so highly executive he would--horrified me so much about being controlled that I didn't feel like talking to him the rest of the day. No fight or anything, but oy...
I'll sit in my own mess until I figure out how to clear it up. It's a direct barometer of peace and growth in other areas.
Would writing about it inspire you to do it more or is it just beyond inspiration?
Writing about it is off limits because I want to reserve my writing energy for creative writing, not for self-therapy. That's sacred space. But I'll write here about it for sure.
Thanks for the kind support, Tupp. I know the Amazons would make short work of it all, and my T (gave her a Zoom tour) said it's not as bad as I depict. Hmm.
hugs
Hops
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Thanks, (((((CB))))). I know, Izzy. One of the bravest humans I've ever known. :(
My usual M-Day practice is to do everything BUT reminisce. Avoiding it and being gentle with myself and distracting all I like works fine. Not depressed, but aware it's a fragile day so I am just handling with care.
Much thanks,
Hops
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Simple pleasures PLUS bunny visits?
Ohhh that sounds sweet, CB.
I'm so glad you're enjoying it all.
My simplicity on Mothers' Day is more about not
rocking my emotional boat by thinking about my D or
feeling that hurt. If I scheduled things with others
I'd feel it impossible to avoid all the chatter about children
and families and how happy most of the mothers feel.
It's gotten a lot better, eight years on. But I do treat it
as a day best spent alone, and with distractions, just to
stay as numb as I can. It worked fairly well. I had several
friends call with the kindest intentions, but found I was okay
just saying to them, "This is a still, meditative day for me"
and then turning the subject back to them. I'm touched that
several think of me and my D situation on this day, and also
grateful they don't press me to talk about it.
Otherwise, I'm failing mightily at the moment to accomplish
much of anything. I think it will pass...hurting my knee so
badly encouraged my cowardly just-give-up reflex. So the
battle is on!
I like your examples of one thing at a time, and not a grandiose
project list. Even making a list is too daunting for me right now!
Big hugs
Hops
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Sounds like you're already half-Kondoed, CB!
I'm happy for you.
Purging IS slow and you're doing it, facing it.
Awesome.
hugs
Hops
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I watched her Netflix special, which I found actually moving. I need to watch it again. She's not fully my cuppa tea, but the process is oddly deep and touching for many participants.
I did purge my clothes well, and at least sort of half-fold everything in my dresser according to her method. I now roll my socks and stand the rolls sideways in a shoebox top in my drawer. I added a basket for underwear. It did make the dresser a lot easier to use.
BUT. I have an enormous paralysis going on. Been there before and the toll it takes on my confidence is huge. I have a TERRIBLE time...this is so strange to admit...getting off my ass and going outside to plant flowers in planters and some seeds out front. Part of it was that I was in pain for weeks after the knee crack, okay. But I'm better enough that I should be outside and at least do something. I buy seedlings and then don't water them, in the past I've even let them die.
I think projects freak me out for some reason and I have some old tape about domestic functioning that is drowning out my efforts to kindly get myself in gear.
I did hire a friend's son to come help me with weeding this weekend. That will help a bit. But overall there's something really plugging me up with taking care of my own needs, at home. Some big block that's about losing steam, letting go, giving up. Just for me things...don't call me the way they used to.
Anyway, I'm talking about it in therapy and hope to god that helps. She's empathetic but almost too perky about it and I hope I don't stay stuck.
hugs
Hops
PS It could be how I manifest depression, I am not sure.
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Hops:
Just let the fear go and relax into acceptance of whatever it is you fear the most.
Accept some seeds and seedlings will die.
Accept you aren't going to DO the house stuff..... do it perfectly.... do it perfectly all the time, the way you feel you should, want to do it, HAVE to do it in order to feel OK.
Just..... accept it. Let it go. Turn to your senses in this moment and get very curious about what's going on. Focus on it..... as a friend with good intentions.
Drop the judgments. I hear you and I hear judgment about yourself. It's painful to read, bc you deserve your own deep, consistent compassion. You have it for others on the board. You're so deserving of it, yourself.
And breathe.
If I sound trite... apologies all around.
But find some focus for the shapes, colors, and sounds around you. I know you're aware of how to do this. I remember reading this advice from you.... yeeeeeaaaars ago. It was about going outdoors, and focusing on trees, bark.... grass. You shared this with me. It helped a little, but I didn't understand why it helped. It's profoundly changed my life.
Just a gentle reminder, bc breathing is easier than going round and round with unkind thoughts about ourselves, IME.
Lighter
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What Lighter said.
CB
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Thanks, guys. Those posts really helped. Not in gear yet, but trying to put the unkind-to-self stuff in a NON-transparent box!
Lighter, your gentle guide to creating gentle emotional space around this was wonderful. Thank you.
CB, knowing you get it was too. Quarantine really does leave one home alone with one's excuses or lack of them. That's right. And inertia is the exact right word. My mean inner voice would call it laziness, but inertia has more dignity.
Young hired friend came yesterday and did three hours of weeding and tidying out back which really helped. He needs very detailed instructions but works hard. So now if I can kneel on a pad just a few minutes at a time, I should be able to stay on top of it. There are spaces to plant new things, too (or maybe some of his weeding was accidentally over-thorough).
Today my goal is to plant things in planters on the patio and out front. We'll see. Knee isn't great but I'm gonna do SOMETHING. Plus, look at so many trees and watch the birds.
hugs
Hops
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Hops:
I'm glad you're in the sun, planting and moving.
Maybe inertia acts like a riptide in our lives.
We have the choice to struggle, flail and judge ourselves and the tide, or....
rest.
Gather strength and be ready when the riptide releases it's grip.
Maybe staying curious and nonjudgmental means fewer riptides... shorter riptides.
Lighter
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I was not in control of the mental clutter. Some of the mental clutter is extremely important, WAY too important to ignore, but it deserves its own time and space. Sometimes thoughts and feelings want to spring up on their own, but I'm having such a mish-mash of stuff filling my head.
I want a type of psychological simplicity of thought. I have to be careful of what I allow myself to think about and for how long and when. It's almost like I need to save the important stuff for the weekend, which is nuts.
I have clutter because my space is small, and I'm a bit of a slob. I haven't been consuming anything at all but food and basics. Spending doesn't mean much to me now, and neither does shopping as the only thing I've bought is food and books. My relationship to the earth is mainly that I look at it, but I do NOTHING FOR IT. Then again, I own no patch of it. The earth goes to the highest bidder as far as I can tell, she is like a whore. I'm not too fond of lawns. I'm not sure what enough is because I'm pretty lonely at the moment and don't feel content. We own our stuff yes because we can violently punish others for taking it and argue that the violence is justified. I can throw most of my stuff away without too much agony, so it doesn't own me no. Time is a real problem for me, and I'm not managing it too well. I've got unexpected seepage in my thoughts.
I'm just going to say it, wrong or right. I resent the fact that some people are in quarantine with their lovers the people they are fucking. Okay I said it. Strike me down Jesus. -- Because how bad can quarantine be if one is at least getting some good sex. How can they even whine about it.
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And I'm glad I have a lawn and no lover: )
Lighter
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And I'm glad I have a lawn and no lover: )
Lighter
And... I'm a lover of that sentence.
You ladies are funny. Lovers aren't all that bad, are we just saying this to make ourselves feel better about being alone or old?
Young people complain about being alone, old people rejoice in being alone...but is it authentic.
I guess not having a lover is a type of voluntary or involuntary simplicity. It does make things more simple.
Isn't it even at least a small part romantic... we were stuck inside during the historical Covid19 crisis... and all that was left for us to do was entertain each other in every way possible.
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I would like
a lover on
the lawn
I understand your yearning, G,
I think it's healthy and normal of you.
So much loneliness is very hard. I'm sorry.
It must be, for those who live with their
lover/partner during quarantine, such a
relief sometimes to make love and let
the outside world disappear.
Other than recommending Betty Dodson,
don't have much to offer except to say I
will be thinking of you today, really hoping
you can make friends with some scrap of
dirt even though there's no ownership, just
to have the experience of working in soil and
life and growth anyway. Even a pot. A house
plant. Some basil in a milk jug.
No more Hopstructions...you have to intuit your
own activity or ritual that will ease the sadness.
Not really for others to invent for you.
THIS TOO WILL PASS, G....I hope something
comes across to you that eases how hard it is.
You deserve some peace and especially, hope.
hugs
Hops
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Garbonzo:
I hope you find reciprocal love, and herbs in a milk jug too.
You deserve and need touch and care.
Lighter
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Oh brother, when you put it that way I don't want it. (Razz here if it was working)
That lover on the lawn though, why not cake and cake and cake, sure.
nah nah I really don't want softness and compassion I just want to bitch and be pissed off about it
swinging my eyeglasses around in a loop, I should probably sleep before I fidget something into disrepair
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G--
Here's an Rx for ya:
Find Marriage by Allen Ginsberg, stand in your bathroom and read it aloud at the top of your lungs with all the expression you got!
I always thought memorizing that poem to recite at the drop of a dime would be an excellent party trick.
Alternatively, try Howl, but it's a marathon.
For pure wonder and another example of astonishing perspective try Falling by James Dickey.
:)
Hops, who just previously suggested everybody's got to find their own activity for the moment they're in
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U R making me smile Hops. An annoyed but entertained smile :)
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!! THANK YOU 123, was looking for it yesterday.
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Yes, Corso!!!! Not Ginsberg.
Thank you so much....
And I loved hearing him read it.
What an accent.
hugs
Hops
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I thought it was Corso reading Ginsburg? I googled Ginsburg poem Marriage and got Corso.
It did make me laugh out loud, I had never heard it before. Thanks for sharing, Hops.
CB
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I really enjoyed that, CB.
Lately, I've been noticing feeling present, without thinking about it. Just being present, and it's everything. It's feeling in the right place at the right time for the right reason. So comforting and everything is a smile or the verge of smiling. A sea change. An entire inner universe shifting into place.
It's not about shutting out other things. It's about being present, in the moment. Simple, but not so simple. Is it a groove we drop into? Is it something we seek or is it something we relax into and allow ourselves to float on? Thinking about it creates some worry and a shift OUT of being present, I notice.
I wonder what shifts inside us.... electromagnetically, chemically when we drop in and out of being present/alive. I don't even know if I've done research or learned anything about it. I assume things do shift and change, but being present means I don't run off chasing other things.
Anyway, thanks for sharing this.
Lighter
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You ladies are the closest thing I have to a Not-Dead Poets Society.
Random: There were a handful of people I had on my Skype account from years ago. Mostly due to this isolation stuff I started chats with them again. It's reasonable to have virtual communications with people, yet in comparison to chatting with someone in real life circumstances, the online world can feel odd, it can feel odd when one realizes in their 3-D world how much of their time is being spent in a virtual world. I don't think virtual world are "Bad" exactly. Still there is a tendency to feel like what is on line isn't legitimate, or that there is some social ruling about it as if being on-line is a crutch. It's not exactly fulfilling though.
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I hear that, G.
I rarely video-talked with anyone before this quarantine.
Once Zoom was the only way to hold my Covenant Group (church women thing) I bit the bullet. After awkwardness for several meetings, we've all relaxed into it.
And I've been surprised how positive and intimate my online T sessions are.
I figure I'll take whatever format's available and just adjust. It's not the same but in some ways at some times, it's more focused and intimate. That's odd but I'm glad to find a positive as long as it lasts.
Hops
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I want face to face appointments with my T again..... Whaaaaaaa.
I'm not comfortable with Zoom or WhatsApp.
I miss and want the old ways.
Lighter