Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: changing on November 27, 2007, 10:19:32 PM
Title: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on November 27, 2007, 10:19:32 PM
I just found out that the Bagworm is seriously not paying his bills, even though he took our savings- it's only been 3 months since he filed- where did the money go???? I have been paying my bills, the mortgage, house insurance, taxes, house repairs, etc mostly in cash, but my credit has been ruined by his conduct- they have added his debt to my profile and it has been sorely damaged. I live a spare existence so that my obligations are met. Now I don't know if I will be able to get a mortagage in my name- I feel like I should have been just as irresponsible, it will end up the same way, and at least I wouldn't have scraped by like I do.
I called and emailed my lawyer, with no response yet. I am the world's biggest fool and clown- maybe I should run away and join the circus, but I'd have to take these pets with me!!!
Amore from an American Lady Pagliacci Dressed in Emmett Kelly Designs,
Changing
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Ami on November 27, 2007, 10:40:11 PM
Dear Changing, I am so sorry .Bagworm is full of surprises --one worse than the other. Changing--- I know that you must be broken hearted right now. I am so, very sorry.I am here if you need help,in any way. Love Ami
((((((((((((((Changing)))))))))))
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: isittoolate on November 27, 2007, 10:58:36 PM
Oh changing, I am SO sorry that this has happened. Did you just call your lawyer?
You are NOT a fool and a clown. Who better than all of us here doesn't feel like a fool for being sucked in, conned, romatized by a false person who is evil, not understanding what Ns were.
Now we know and we have messes to clean up,
I hope your lawyer answers soon and that this willl not go against your credit rating. Love Izzy
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: tayana on November 27, 2007, 11:55:31 PM
Changing,
Don't give up hope! There's a possibility that none of bagworm's antics might not reflect negatively on your credit. I remember reading about situations like that when I was researching ID theft. There's lots of good information out there about how to clean up your credit. You could contact the major credit reporting agencies and explain the situation. They might be able to flag your credit rating so that you could still get a mortgage. You could also talk to a credit counselor or financial advisor and see what sort of advice they could give.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I just wanted to let you know that all isn't lost, and even though things look bad at the moment, it might turn around.
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on November 28, 2007, 12:21:44 AM
Hi Ami- Thank you for your support. I do feel better, like I am not stignmatized by this and forever drummed out of decent society, after I read your post. In Dicken's time I would be sent me to the workhouse, and I didn't even get to spend the money!!!! I appreciate your understanding (((Ami))) and I will just have to figure things out and ignore the vapid judgements of the uninformed!
Izzy- I talked to the lawyer about this the first day, and sent emails, and phone calls, and in every meeting we have had- he reassured me, etc- now this! I called immediately when I was told about the credit arrears- BLEEH! Thank you for bucking me up- it's just something to clean up,etc- so true. I guess I felt embarrassed and ashamed and scummy because of what has appeared on my record. You are a numbers person, so your thoughts on cleaning things up are are especially appreciated!!
Tayana- You went through so much and did so well, I forgot that you had that nasty ID theft matter, you have gone so far past it! Thank you Tay- you are a doll- I just have to roll my sleeves up and fight this thing- I felt ashamed when I was told in a snide voice "Well, your payment hasn't been made in 3 months on one account alone". I will just have to take care of this step by step and shake off shame, etc. as I tend to hide and be ineffective in shame mode.
Thank God I have you all as friends, it takes the edge off the emotional part of this latest Bagworm mess, and in being able to discuss this freely and without shame I am better able to accept my reality and figure out a plan of attack, and will be more articulate and strong when speaking to judgemental non-friends as well.
I owe you guys, big time!!!
Love,
Changing
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: lighter on November 28, 2007, 04:22:16 AM
What bills wasn't he paying? Maybe you can show where you were legally separated, that you were paying all your bills at that point and he wasn't paying his?
Your attorney may have some answers but..... it's a terrible bad wicked thing they do.
I'm afraid that might ba a tiny portion of what they're capable of.
In the meantime..... your credit can't be ruined in 3 months alone can it? The mortgage company wants to hear that your mail was stolen or you were under seige during a terrible divorce.... maybe? So they CAN go back to trusting you and give you a mortgage? Document..... ask your attorney.
If you can fix it with money..... it's not as bad as it could be. So sorry he's doing this to you. AND WHERE DID THAT MONEY GO?!?
Foul blasphemer, Piggy little excuse of a man. :evil:
You can escape him, my dear.
I'm afraid......
he's stuck with himself
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Hopalong on November 28, 2007, 06:17:28 AM
Quote
being able to discuss this freely and without shame I am better able to accept my reality and figure out a plan of attack
Bravo, Changing!
Shame schmame...poo on that.
Nothin' to do wit you, hon. (Have a feeling ole judge isn't going to like him for this.)
Much comfort, much love, Hops
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: JanetLG on November 28, 2007, 06:19:10 AM
Dear Changing,
I'm so sorry that Bagworm is having another go at you.
It's likely, I think, that he hasn't actually SPENT the moeny that he took out of your accounts - I remember having a similar thing with my Nboyfriend just before we split up, where he'd withdraw money from our joint account as soon as I put money into it (to pay the mortgage & bills, etc), but he wasn't spending it, he was giving it in cash to his mother to hide for him, as he knew I couldn't get at it that way.
As to proving that it's not YOUR credit rating that should be penalised...as Lighter says, can you show the banks that you are going through a nasty divorce and that you were separated by the time these defaults started? If you can alkso show that anything you HAVE been solely responsible has been paid for on time, would that help to show that you and Bagworm are on different planets, as far as money responsibilities are concerned?
You don't need to feel ashamed by this, Changing, but I know that I would feel like you do, in the same situation, because I did when it happened to me. If you are an honest person, then the idea of defaulting on bills is just somehting you would not do, so to be accused of it feels shameful. But it's not.
Janet
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on November 28, 2007, 08:31:57 AM
Lighter, Hoppy, Janet-
Thank you for thinking this through with me. It definitely is an N topic, not only in reference to the Bagworm, but in my own FOO, as I think about it. When my NM left us, she had racked up a lot of bills and my father was stuck with them. He did not go bankrupt, but it was really stark for a while as he pad everything, and until the day he died he begrudged me anything that cost money, although he was quite generous with others. I have essentially taken care of myself since I was about 16. I worked from the age of 14 and at that age paid for my own clothes and food. When I married Bagworm I had no debt. I know that I would be roundly condemned by my FOO if they were aware of this current debacle, even given my particular circumstances- so I suppose I am fortunate not to have them around!!!!! I guess that I shouldn't act as their proxy in shaming myself and just view this as a new challenge, not a badge of shame!
Yesterday I had made inquiries about loans, trying to get things in place to have the house put into my name slone with a new mortgage. I was speaking to someone and they were not nice when they informed me about the Bagwom payments in arrears- they sounded like a prosecutor discussing the rap sheet of a serial killer. When I explained that the accounts that were current were mine and the ones that were placed on my record on the bottom were Bagworm's, they seemed singularly unimpressed. I think that I let it get to me. Being able to discuss this makes me less shocked and touchy, and more rational about my options.
Lighter, 3 months of arrears in different accounts is major. And the companies have now added the Bagworm's debts to my credit report, so it appears that I have the mortagge and all other loans listed as solely my obligation when one pulls my credit report. This seriously damages my credit score in terms of credit-worthiness in payment history as well as debt to income ratio. Bleeh! I will be busy doing what I can to inform the credit agencies, etc and perhaps straighten things out a wee bit, though creditors want to stick whomever they can with obligations. Bleeh! Thanks for your "Foul blasphemer, little Piggy of a man!"- I can add that to my lexicon, and I had a good laugh!!!
Hoppy- Thanks for not hating me! The offensive items are on MY record now, and it helps to hear confirmation that it is not me, personally!
Janet, that was very kind of you to share your experience with this sort of problem, and your understanding gives me a better perspective. I will use your perspective in going after the problem. I wondered at the time if Bagworm's being out of town was for the purpose of giving his mommy our savings, or that he bought some outrageouly expensive car and other items, and I raised that issue with my lawyer as well in September. I think that henceforth I will have a letter ready explaining the circumstances in detail and thus (even if it's only in my own mind), shield myself from the scorn and derision of diverse accountants and such!!!
Thank you my Friends for posting this AM- it has given me a happy start to the day, and inspiration to fight on!
Love,
Changing
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: lighter on November 28, 2007, 09:01:48 AM
So.... it's the mortgage payment he's been failing to pay? And other things?
I'm so sorry he's done this but I'm not surprised about it.
(((changing)))
You'll get through this.
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Ami on November 28, 2007, 09:27:55 AM
Dear Changing, I HATE to see you doing what I do( and we all seem to do)------Take on other people's shame.I can only imagine how badly you felt when they lady treated you so haughtily. I bet that must have really hurt. You are such a person of integrity.I am so sorry for that indignity.I really,really am, Changing. It is hard to separate oneself from outside shame. I understand how it "bores a hole' right through you. I just want to say(for whatever it is worth) that you having nothing to be ashamed of . It is ALL Bagworm. One day the law of "What you reap, you sow" will come in to place for him.I am so sorry that he can't stop seeming to want to push you down one more time. You have succeeded in getting up all these times,but I know that it must be getting very "old" and very 'wearing'. You have so many other 'weights" on your head like your 'disability" and school. You are in my prayers. Despite all your struggles, I bet that you bring joy to people's lives around you , the way that you do to us, on the board.. Love Ami XXXXOOOO (((((((((((((((Changing)))))))))))))))
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Hops guest on November 28, 2007, 11:13:59 AM
I can't believe there's nothing legal that can be done to correct this debacle!
I once put a Fraud Alert on my credit reports...can you do that? Kind of after the horse has left the barn, I know..
Dang. I remember someone here talking about a FORENSIC ACCOUNTANT being important in their divorce.
So so sorry, Changing.
Those are all the scraps of legal thoughts in my ignorant head.
But I know you'll find the resources you need to put that worm back in the bag for good.
And really, the shame issue...I hope you'll table it immediately. Any snotty lender or creditor should get a level gaze and "My husband has intentionally created this situation, we're divorcing. You may have heard of other women who go through something like this with a controlling spouse?" Nothing more.
Please, if there's any shame around, let it be THEIRS when you speak with calm conviction of what are only facts.
love to you, Hops
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Iphi on November 28, 2007, 12:25:12 PM
Aww changing - Ami has hit the bullseye and in several ways - taking on the shame - we all do it - it isn't your shame - you are a person of great integrity - he is a villain - his dishonor is not yours. There's a lot for us all to learn from here - I'm feeling that strongly.
Unfortunately his problem is yours until you disentangle yourself. He must have loved the convenience of being married to you as a beast of burden for all of his wrongdoing - it's horrible to contemplate his inner being and what a nasty soggy fetid airless moldy, not-up-to-code sub-basement of a place it must be.
Now collections types are incredible bullies and they don't care why it happened or whether you are honest or innocent or good/bad or what the issue is or WHO PAYS. They don't care whether the person who rightfully should pay is the same person as the one who actually does pay. Thier job is to make somebody pay by hook or by crook as soon as possible and they do not care about you or good or right or the proper way and there is a giant gap between collections practice and the law, restraint, oversight, practices right now. They want to be a Problem so that somebody will pay to make the Problem go away. Point: practice not to let some dishonest bully (on the phone, in person, in divorce court) lay inappropriate attitude on you. Do not concede ground or submit yourself to her judgment. Ha ha ha look who is talking - I speak only from the VOBE (Voice of Bitter Experience). I have submitted myself to judgment by every passing stranger, idle tongue, ignorant opiner. I am having a harsh time facing up to what a fool I have been and how vulnerable and how much time has been wasted - and how much I want to crawl into a corner in shame about all the other times I have crawled into a corner in shame - aaahhmm doh! It's actually only this year I have begun to wriggle out and hope to help you wriggle out too.
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: tayana on November 28, 2007, 12:40:17 PM
Changing,
I thought I'd do a little research on the subject. I'm going to pass along some of the id theft resources I've found. I would definitely file a fraud alert with all three major credit bureaus. You can also dispute information on your credit report. I think you can now dispute information with all three bureaus online. If these are joint accounts, I would see about having them transfered over into Bagworm's name solely, or if you are just the co-signer have your name removed, then dispute the information on your credit report.
Here's one link about how to protect your credit during divorce:
The very first thing I would do is get a copy of my credit report. You can get one for free at http://www.annualcreditreport.com (http://www.annualcreditreport.com). I even went so far as to subscribe to a credit monitoring service from experian. It alerts me when changes have been made to my credit.
I found some other good links just googling protecting credit during divorce.
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: isittoolate on November 28, 2007, 01:56:53 PM
Dear changing,
Boy! They do feel entitled to do what they want.
I had money problems with the N that my daughter married. A loan here, a loan there, anyway after he kicked me out, he owed me $55,000.00. By now I had an idea how he workedm although not knowing about N-ism yet
I had kept records of every transaction and scraps papear about other things, and took to a Civil Lawyer and instructed him "sue him silly".
Everything was on my side, but of course given that HE was to make payments, doesn't mean that he would do it, so I kept another Spreadsheet on the payments and then added in the interest when necessary and always had an accounting of where he stood, and when he reneged. When he reneged too long I never contacted him, I went straight to my lawyer and he messed with N's nead again to get him into court
The judge was always on my side and would increase the Interest rate at these times.
To make a long story short, I received every penny back, the last part being from garnishment of his wages.
(He told my grandson, I took THEIR money)
Last payment was about 3 years ago.
Now I know this is different but I jumped right in there and did it, but I sure paid the lawyer a lot. I have never tallied the lawyer's fees. I'll leave that for some day when I have little to do.
Good Luck changing on nailing Bagworm's hide to the wall.
Live Izzy
[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on November 28, 2007, 07:19:40 PM
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!
Lighter, Ami, Tayana Hoppy, Izzy-
I am fired up now, and I'm going to bag me a beaten-down nailed to the wall Bagworm!! Thank you for the suggestions-
Lighter, I pay the mortgage and taxes, insurance and even health insurance for both of us (all are up to date)- he just has to pay his own stupid bills, but nooooo! What a jackal! I was surprised and shocked, but now I just want to get crackin' on fixing this mess now, so I have a chance at getting a mortgage in my name only in March!
Ami- The rudeness and condescension slapped me down for a minute- I think it was my NFOO history that gave it added punch- but it really helped to have my friends here on this board to talk openly about it with, and to be understood and not condemned to the gallows!!! Thank you for being on my side!
Tayana- Thank you for the work you did- I usually do this sort of thing for others but no one ever does thngs like this for me. I hate to take up your time as you are so loaded with responsibility, but I must say that it really touched me that you would help me like that- it was so nice of you. I will use those resources right away!
Hoppy- The Wise Woman with the magic words- I LOVE THIS- though now that I am armed to the teeth with your words, my attitude will probably be enough to make any would-be judges shut their stinking gobs before they even open them!!!!!
Izzy- There is no torture like that inflicted by an accountant (like the IRS does) ...lovely lovely!Death by a thousand cuts!!!! I am going to inflict as much justice upon the Bagworm as possible, by keeping records of this psychodrama and extracting every cent in reparations that I can!!! And my lawyer and I now have a fee basis arrangement, with no more payments unless it's for something other than the divorce and related items, so I might as well start tabulating!!! Oh, and I'd better get my hammer and a 16 penny nail!
Love and Thanks,
Changing
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: tayana on November 28, 2007, 08:04:16 PM
Changing, it was no problem at all! I was glad to do it. I know how you feel. :)
Go get him!
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: isittoolate on November 29, 2007, 12:03:21 AM
CH-AR-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RR-GE
(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/knight.jpg)
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on November 30, 2007, 12:13:10 AM
Tayana and Izzy,
Thank you for beting the drums of war- it is inspiring! I sent a raft of suggestions/requests to my lawyer today- he sounds sick on his message machine, so I will give him a few days, but I want to move on this and other areas where the Bagworm's soft underbelly is exposed NOW!!!! i am also going to do a few other things that might help the creditors collect from Bagworm , but have to get the OK from my lawyer first.
Izzy- I love your picture of the wacky warrior!!! I wil kep it in my mind's eye!
Love,
Chnaging
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: lighter on November 30, 2007, 06:52:34 AM
That's the spirit, Changing!
Document, get copies of reports and make sure he suffers for his lack of bill payment, not you.
I can't believe they'd let him ruin your credit like that, just to F with you.
HOW DARE HE!
Yes yes yes, Izzy... C H A R G E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO QUARTER!
NO MERCY!
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: cats paw on November 30, 2007, 08:54:03 AM
What a despicable hassle for you Changing, but I am so inspired just by reading this thread!
Izzy gave you a hammer to nail his hide to the wall- here's to you and your attorney also nailing Bagworm's Bag to the wall.
cats paw
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Ami on November 30, 2007, 09:19:47 AM
Thinking of you, Changing.Sending love and peace. Ami
(((((((((((((Changing)))))))))
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: JanetLG on November 30, 2007, 09:33:40 AM
"Izzy gave you a hammer to nail his hide to the wall- here's to you and your attorney also nailing Bagworm's Bag to the wall.
cats paw"
To be honest, I'd rather nail his worm to the wall. :twisted:
Janet
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on November 30, 2007, 10:01:43 PM
Hi Lighter, Cat's Paw, Ami, Janet-
You are all absolute magic- I am no longer ashamed of my predicament but instead I shamelesly chortle at the thought of Bagworm and his bag and worm being impaled by Izzy's hammer (hmm- Izzy's Hammer sounds mythic or like some sort of math problem!)
My lawyer is sending a letterdemanding that Bagworm take me off of his credit items (I was never a signator on them), and there is something or other (didn't take too much time to read the email) that Bagworm is violating, so that's good.
I have to refer yet another lawyer/ attorney looking for Bagworm that he needs to contact the Moron lawyer for a proper home address, etc, as there has been another discovery request. I hope that I get a small moratorium on Bagworm searches during my final exams!!!
I feel great about not being the victim (in law school the "V"), but doing whatever I can to mitigate things- that way if things do not go my way, then I can deal with it, iand f they do, even better! I got a new brace today, and it is very nice. I got rid of my painful lace up black Frankenfoot monstrosity- now I have a discreet beige model that actually feels good and comfy !!! (After finals Izzy is going to teach me how to post photos and art on the board so I can show you the difference!) Life is beautiful!
Love,
Changing
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: isittoolate on November 30, 2007, 11:15:48 PM
Dear changing,
You sound upbeat and confident. Great!
Lots of things, ins and outs, to think of to smush Bagworm. Every little thing could count!.
Good and great luck to you
Nice to hear about you comfy boot.
I told my carpet sweeper to trail me around as I am dropping dead skin on the carpet--Ewwwwwwwwwwww--awful I finally got out today...first since Monday.
Keep on making notes Love Izzy
WoW
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Hopalong on November 30, 2007, 11:54:38 PM
CHARGIN CHANGIN
Yeee HAWWWWW!
SO sos so sososososososososoooooo proud of you.
Izz that picture delighted me, thank you so much. I sent it to a coworker who's buttoned up tight but boiling stress, suggested he use it for his screensaver...
he wrote me back: I see you found my prom photo... :lol:
Hops
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: isittoolate on December 01, 2007, 12:10:23 AM
Thanks Hops
That is neat!!! Glad to hear it........ prom photo doesn't look uptight.
I love that one for the way changing is going after Bagworm!!!! Love Izzy
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on December 01, 2007, 03:10:26 AM
Hi Izzy and Hoppy-
You two are the funniest creatures and fabulous friends. Everything is a commodity now except those priceless intangibles that one cannot truly live without, like air and friendship. And the air may just become bottled and sold someday, but true good will and friendship cannot be outsourced or manufactured.
I am so honored and happy to know you and blessed to have such brainiacs to advise me- I almost feel a pang of pity for the Bagworm (not!!!)
Love You,
Changing
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: lighter on December 01, 2007, 08:03:38 AM
(((Changing))) You are an avid apponenent..... no doubt you would readjust your sights and begin firing again.
BTW..... you might shouldhang on to the Frankenfoot boot, the Judge will want to see you in the light Bagworm's been knockingyou about in.
Not that he hasn't already seen you in it but..... always good to remind them bc they see soooo many people every day.
So glad to hear he's been required to take you off his unibomber credit destroyer list. HOW DARE HE!!!????!?!?!?
OUTRAGEOUSE MADAM!
Hopefully, there are laws against things such as that. Hmmmph.
No Quarter.
No Mercy.
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on December 01, 2007, 02:43:59 PM
Hello Lighter-
You know, I have always loved General George Patton, and even started writing a play/musical about him a few years ago (how odd is that!!??). You remind me of him- a truly feminine version. No Mercy, No Quarter- if I had only seen that before! bless you Mon General!
Love,
Changing
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: lighter on December 02, 2007, 01:49:48 PM
You have to go on the offense in order to defend yourself, I'm afraid.
Give Bagworm something to do, instead of knock you off balance, destroy your credit and harass you, KWIM?
Showing any mercy is being unkind to yourself, but you already understand that.
No mercy, no quarter.
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Hopalong on December 02, 2007, 02:06:04 PM
Izzy I know you have other things to do...
but if you ever come across a pic of a charging AMAZON or FEMALE warrior, I'd love it!
(We can name it Lighter...)
xxoo Hops
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Unconditional on December 02, 2007, 02:26:10 PM
Mercy and forgiveness transcends all bitterness and envy of heart
Impartiality is greater than partiality
Unconditional
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: JanetLG on December 02, 2007, 02:44:51 PM
Unconditional,
Forgiveness has to be EARNED, by the person REPENTING and then doing whatever they can to rectify whatever they did wrong, and promising (and meaning it, too) that they will never do it again.
Otherwise, forgiveness is not suitable.
Janet
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: lighter on December 02, 2007, 03:55:14 PM
What Janet said, yup yup yup.
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on December 02, 2007, 04:30:20 PM
Hi-
NO MERCY NO QUARTER
I have a moral imperative to act rightly and to take care of myself. David was God's most beloved of men, and after he became king, he showed mercy to Jonathan's son, as he had promised. He did not sacrifice himself for King Saul, nor did he permit Saul to destroy him, and instead he fought Saul tooth and nail and prayed for help and for the destruction of his enemies. We can read these prayers today,in the Psalms, some of the most beloved passages in human literature and in scripture. On the cross Jesus said "Forgive them for they know not what they do"- I can pray that everyone comes to God's forgiveness (I do), but that ultimately is not within my power or my responsibility, but rather, as Janet said, by their own agency as beings with free will responding to issues of right and wrong.
Bagworm lied and tried to have me arrested and perhaps even shot by the police while having them retrieve guns that his psychiatrist had ordered removed from his custody due to his mental condition. He was able to do this because I made myself vulnerable and off guard by agreeing to something altogether different for his benefit. He has beaten me severely, threatened to kill me and described his plans in minute detail day after day after day, committed many other crimes against me, and has tried to strip me of any way to provide for myself when I finally found a way of escape. At each step of the way in freeing myself, I have first dealt with Bagworm in a civil manner, and he has responded by stealing, lying, filing false court records, violating stay away orders, failing to abide by the law,threats, and having others terrorize me. I have not responded in kind, but have simply tried to protect myself and to extricate myself as quickly and as cleanly as possible. It is his own misdeeds that have come back to punish him, with the court, financially, and in life. This is justice, and I hope that he changes as a result, as he is at this point a menace to decent society. Getting away with crimes does not tend to assist the perpetrator in meaningful change to a law-abidng status, in fact it has the opposite effect.
In the long run facing the consequences of his actions is merciful to Bagworm, as he cannot be given quarter to do further wrong, and further injury to me in the process. Another mercy is that he has an opportunity to reap the consequences of his bad acts, before things escalate to a point that there will be no return, by committing the crimes against me or others that he has threatened. I am so thankful that I have had the generous guidance and support that I found here- it has saved my life, and I am joyfully and gratefully living it day by day!
Love and Thanks ,
Changing
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: lighter on December 02, 2007, 07:27:21 PM
Like I said.... you're going to be a great attorney one day ((changing))
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: isittoolate on December 02, 2007, 07:54:45 PM
((((((((((((((changing))))))))))))))
Why is Bagworm not in jail now?--for all the 'crimes ' he has commited.
I say you handle yourself well, by showing your humanity in the midst of chaos. I cannot see him as a man with the ability to change.
Wishing you well and good fortune, and finally peace to pursue what you want without harm.
Love Izzy
[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on December 02, 2007, 09:44:29 PM
Thank You Darling Izzy-
The froggy looks OK, so you must not have frozen today, thank goodness!
Love,
Changing
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: Hopalong on December 02, 2007, 09:57:25 PM
It's kind of you to have hopes for him, Changing...
I have not just hopes but total faith in YOU.
And good riddance to bad bagworms. Grrrrrr.
He is a menace but freedom's marching toward you, and what's even better is that you're marching right toward it.
You keep your chin up during this season...okay?
You're right, it's no service to enable such a person. He may learn nothing from it, but the consequences need to play out anyway.
love to you, Hops
Title: Re: Bagworm Has Ruined My Credit Rating
Post by: changing on December 02, 2007, 10:25:36 PM
Hoppy Thank You! You are so wonderful, I just adore you. I am having the best holiday season of my life in large part due to you! No money, no FOO but I am truly feeling great!