Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: reallyME on November 29, 2007, 02:09:48 PM
-
Hey Everyone...D DAY finally arrived!
My husband, Roland and I are heading to a 4 day marriage retreat in Iowa! The sponsors of it are paying for our hotel room, hot tub, pool, food, and taking us out to lunch on Monday. The entire thing is FREE, it's put on by a ministry group through our church, and they also will be giving us 14 hours of mentoring by a christian couple. Be praying I get one who sees through psychological disorders!
I am leaving tonight at around 7 PM and will return some time on Monday.
Will miss ya all but will post again soon.
Hugs and thanks for your prayers. Things are looking up for me...daughter's boyfriend's mom and i had a talk and are now at peace, so that took away ammo from mouthy teen daughter, and now SHE has been nicer too. Go figure.
God's at work!
hugs
ps...love to Hoppy...haven't heard from ya in a while girl :)
~Laura
-
I am really happy for you, Laura. Have a great trip! Love Ami
-
Hello again all!
I just got back from the MARRIAGE MATTERS weekend. It was very good and my husband and i both learned a lot of good things we will now apply to our relationship.
Key point to help someone: men need respect, women need love. in harmony, when these needs are met, things run smoothly in most situations.
-
Dear Laura,
It sounds really good. I would like to hear more about what you learned,if you care to . Love Ami
-
I'm happy to hear your trip went well. Do I hear you left with hope? Would love to learn more, if you can or want to share.
Peace to you RM ((seasons))
-
Well, first of all, our mentors were not allowed to talk about the Bible until our afternoon sessions. In order to obtain the grant to do this program, they had to agree to that. If any of you have churches where you'd like a marriage mentor weekend or seminar done, please let me know and I'll pass on the name of your organization to Matt Lauer who runs it. There is very little if any help for marriages in trouble, in various states, so this is a really needed and helpful program.
From Fri- Monday, my husband and I met with our mentors to talk about marriage issues and find better ways to communicate. We discussed every topic from children, to sex, to spiritual beliefs, to handling anger and conflict. We learned about using "I feel ___________ when you ___________." Or, paraphrasing what the other person says by saying "What I think I hear you saying is _____________. Is this right?"
Now, those are typical things you hear at marriage programs, but even better, our mentors gave us a gift of a book called Love and Respect by Eggerich. It explains how men have "respect" tanks that women need to fill, and women have "love" tanks that men need to fill, and how, sometimes men/women step on the tube to those tanks and begin cutting off the "air supply" to either...which is why either person will react in anger.
For instance, a woman says to her husband "ohhhhh I'm so FAT, I can't STAND IT"...so, husband buys wife a diet book. Wife generally reacts in anger, because she sees things through PINK SUNGLASSES and hears things with PINK EARPLUGS. Although husband meant the gesture to try and HELP the wife, she is INCENSED about it and interprets it as "you think I'm FAT! You are an insensitive jerk. YOU DON'T LOVE ME!"
With a man, a woman might constantly tell him she loves him but isn't sure she RESPECTS him. That is one of the worst things a man can feel...DISRESPECTED. It seems, in a survey that was done, feeling disrespected far surpassed the idea of feeling unloved, for the males.
My husband and I have discussed this and have been reading the book together. It has been making a huge difference in our marriage, but then again, I'm not real sure it will work with someone who has very little to no conscience, and whose only aim in life, is to destroy people, such as N's and Psychopaths do.
Just sharing some things
~Laura
-
Dear (((( Laura ))))
You have my sincerest admiration for working so hard at your marriage and my heart reaches out with hope that your heartfelt prayers are answered.
Love, Leah
-
hi RM
I am so Pleased that it is working so quickly. This might not be painful at all.
Love
Izzy
-
Laura,
Much love to you and Roland.
I love thinking of you doing this, equally, with love and respect, together.
So glad you had this experience!
xo
Hops