Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: janisty07 on December 12, 2007, 05:35:11 PM
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Last Christmas as my mother was facing pretty serious surgeries, my n sister showed absolutely no compassion at all. Actually when my mom told her that she needed surgery, her reply was, that sucks.... and that was it.
My mom had the first surgery right before Christmas and it failed. She needed to have it redone after the new year.
My n sister still showed no empathy for the situation. My mom needed someone to help her around the house etc. I was there..
and will always be there. My sister was mad because I was.
We got through both surgeries and she is fine now (thank the good Lord for that)... My sister never cared or helped mom with a thing...
Mom called me today to tell me that my n sister is very concerned about her neighbor who is ill right now and may be facing surgery. She called my n sister because her own kids are not there for her. Of course my n sister jumped at the chance to look like this lady's hero.. Like that isn't bad enough, she couldn't wait to tell my mother all about it... My mother is still heartbroken over the way she was treated by my sister when she was sick. I told her to call her on it and tell her how she feels. I guess she knows that will get her no where other than in a huge n fight. That's why she called me to tell me instead. I'll always listen and be there for my mom.....But that leads me to my big gripe, WHY are people so willing to not call these n's on the heartless things they do and say,
they just let them continue to hurt them and not say a word... Just so not to how they say, Rock the boat.
I'm done with not rocking the boat that's why i am the one detached from this toxic person.
It's times like this that I wish I were still talking to her, I'd love to out her for treating her own mother like dirt, and then because she thinks she looks like a hero, showing all kinds concern and compassion for a total stranger (neighbor)......
Thanks,
Jan
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Hi Jan,
No Contact is a wonderful, self-affirming step, and good for you for taking it. I wonder if you coudl begin '08 by starting to work on another step?
I'm done with not rocking the boat that's why i am the one detached from this toxic person.
Because you're carrying her around inside your head, and giving so much of your precious life energy to reacting to her--you might not be as detached as you hope? (Hard not to do, especially with your Mom and the triangle -- I sympathize.)
Hope you will begin to reclaim your thought-space for yourself, and for things that bring you happiness.
You've got to work it through at your own pace, but we can support you in gently releasing more and more of the obsession, if you like.
It'll yield, with time and awareness. It really will.
Hops