Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Gabben on December 13, 2007, 03:04:56 PM

Title: Amends
Post by: Gabben on December 13, 2007, 03:04:56 PM
Hi Everyone:

I have been thinking and I want to once again express my wrong and sorrow for hurting anyone with a powerful statement of spirituality yesterday. It seems to have triggered peoples feelings around past spiritual abuse -- I hope that some healing and peace will come about from it.

My reaction was an over-reaction in the heat of the battle -- has anyone ever done that before?

Point is, that if I want this to be a safe place for me then I have to work to make it a safe place for others.

So when I am wrong -- I will admit  it, promptly. I an HUMAN, therefore will I error.

I have already said in another post that I understand that strong religious themes can cause people to bristle with antagonism, I understand, that is how agnostic thinking works. I also said that I would walk the tightrope of consideration when speaking about God and my faith since this is mainly a board for those hurting and seeking healing from dealing or suffering from a peson or family member with NPD.

That being said - once again I offer my apologies.  If I have to keep apologizing until others feel safe again, I will.

I'm here to grow and heal - I don't want to hurt people and I want to be a  voice of compassion and understanding -- one day at least.

Lise






Title: Re: Amends
Post by: teartracks on December 13, 2007, 04:40:15 PM



Lise,

Hi.

Relax.  It's OK.

tt
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: reallyME on December 13, 2007, 04:55:42 PM
This may sound very callous of me, but sometimes when I read people trippin over themselves in apology, all to just be accepted among some groups here, I want to say "oh brother!  you're fine! Quit apologizing.  You didn't do anything wrong."
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Ami on December 13, 2007, 04:57:57 PM
I agree with our "wise woman' Laura. You are respected and loved here.    Love    Ami


((((((((((Lise))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: lighter on December 13, 2007, 05:03:33 PM
I found that apologies only mean something when the person aplogizing admits what they did....

addresses why they did it.....

how it impacted everyone involved.....

then explains how they'll avoid repeating whatever it was in the future.

Then, of course, they avoid doing it again.

I wonder how much of your time here is attached to FOO stuff and how much to your PM box.....

I really am sorry it went this way.  

I hope you can find a safe place here.... this board is full of wise women who have rich gifts to share.


And as you've seen.... there a plethora of lessons to be learned.
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Ami on December 13, 2007, 05:20:05 PM
WHEN s/one tells you to walk by  ......I WOULD do it!
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Gabben on December 13, 2007, 05:26:29 PM
now I am walking on by -- or skipping :)

Thanks bean and Ami.
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: lighter on December 13, 2007, 05:43:36 PM

You've admitted to losing control on the board and throwing God into your argument....

but you haven't exactly pinned down the reason why.... yet.  

Not that you intend to.

Looks like Monkey One's gonna bolster you so you don't ever have to enterain the WHY?, eh?

That entire exchange.... lol....

"walk on by"....  lol......


Followed by.....

"WHEN s/one tells you to walk by  ......I WOULD do it!"  lol........




was so funny.....

::slapping knee:: lol....

::trying to catch breath..... lol::

I can't hardly think straight enough to determine if "How am I doing Dr. G(od)? Dare I ask?" is funnier ..... lol....



"walk on by."  

::thowing head back lol::..


::taking keyboard back from tay and Janet::

::trying to staighten up... :::

::lining up forehead....::

::laughing too hard to bang::... Bwahaha.....

damnit.  

WHOOOO BOY.... thanks for the chuckle, Monkey Two.  

HEY HEY!  Grey's anatomy's on tonght!


ps... Bean.... I;m sorry you thinks a proper apology's a mythical creature. 
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Gabben on December 13, 2007, 05:45:43 PM
now I am running....
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Ami on December 13, 2007, 05:56:57 PM
It is hard to run in this freakin Monkey suit-
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: reallyME on December 13, 2007, 06:01:43 PM
:)

the words of some of you...just unbelievable, to say the very least. 
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Gabben on December 13, 2007, 06:07:12 PM
swinging from the trees...
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Ami on December 13, 2007, 06:18:46 PM
IS that you OR me Lise?                      Ami
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Gabben on December 13, 2007, 06:50:46 PM
That is Mr. Sock Puppet
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: lighter on December 13, 2007, 07:21:15 PM
Bean.... respectfully.... every suggestion I ever made to Lise, died a terrible death in Ami's PM box.

Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Ami on December 13, 2007, 07:21:52 PM
Then STOP giving them!
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Gabben on December 13, 2007, 07:24:55 PM
hey lighter,

I didn't say you were holding out.  So are you? 

If so, I've also found (not saying you should to) only because my therapist suggested this, that if you want something, the best way to get it is to ask.  I used to wish for mind reading, but alas, humans haven't evolved that far yet.  darn



bean


Hi Bean,

Have you ever seen that bumper sticker that says:

"I used to have mind reading powers but my therapist took them away from me."

?

Lise
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: reallyME on December 13, 2007, 07:47:06 PM
Ok now, those of you that understand the signs of covert abuse, would this NOT be considered COVERT abuse of Ami?

__________.... respectfully.... every suggestion I ever made to ______, died a terrible death in private convos with her.

I am leaving out the names so I'm not accused of pointing a finger at anyone directly, but I want all to look at this and examine it very closely.

The person who posted it, has a wondrous sense of humor, however, at times humor can be used to JAB at people.  I am not refuting that this person had problems getting their message across to the other member of the board, but please look:

first, "respectfully" implies that you are going to be RESPECTFUL, which is debateable after reading what came next.

Next, was it not covertly implying a problem you had with another member yet in PUBLIC?  Is THIS not a wrong way to treat people on this board?

Would it not be the same as if I said "Lovingly I say this...maryjo came over to my house and was a real pain in my #@$_&*#@&!" 

Again, can ya feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel the love in the air...UGH


Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Ami on December 13, 2007, 07:49:58 PM
Laura
  You seemed to have had a deep healing. Your "spirit" seems so much happier . Tell me about it.                        Ami
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: reallyME on December 13, 2007, 08:00:24 PM
Honestly Ami, I think it's the recent marriage weekend I went on with my husband.  It seems like when your immediate family is working well, other things are so minor in comparison.

I still feel frustrated at times about things, but I'm able to communicate them in a better way to my husband and others.  I think when you are doing better too, you tend to notice fault around you more, so it's a challenge to not want to "fix" but I'm making it!

YAY

~Laura
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Ami on December 13, 2007, 08:06:34 PM
Laura
  I have 'known" you for a year and a half. You seem like a totally different person--more confident and joyful. You seem very joyful and centered. I am so happy to see that.
 You credit the marraige weekend. ?
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: reallyME on December 13, 2007, 08:39:50 PM
Good answer, bean :)
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: lighter on December 14, 2007, 07:19:03 AM
Even more preposterous is the idea that others can influence us that much.  The evil Ami is plotting against lighter, and has brainwashed Lise....


right




::slapping forehead and wishing I could point to the thread the Doc locked::
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Leah on December 14, 2007, 07:41:06 AM
Quote
Even more preposterous is the idea that others can influence us that much

Patricia Evans has written much about that subject, Bean

Leah


Someone has kindly taken much time and effort to post the entire back cover of Patricia Evans superb book (life tool) on

your 'backwards connections' thread, Bean

Wonderful stuff!  Thank you for starting that thread. 

 

http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=6381.0 (http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=6381.0)

Title: Re: Amends
Post by: lighter on December 14, 2007, 09:41:44 AM



Bean....

::dropping head::

Never mind.


ps... did you read Janet's thread on clearing things up?
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: lighter on December 14, 2007, 10:01:20 AM
lighter,

yes I read the whole thread as it unfolded.  I'm sorry, but I still don't see what you've implied.

bean


I didn't imply anything. 

The thread had information, you and Laura drew similar conclusions... I'm going for more ice.

Title: Re: Amends
Post by: reallyME on December 14, 2007, 10:43:37 AM
excuse me too?  gonna guess on what she means here, Bean...

If I'm hearing you correctly, Lighter, you saying that Bean and I agreed that you were making a JAB at Ami, because of what you said about "every suggestion I ever made to Lise, died a terrible death in Ami's PM box."

Now that I re-read it, I'm thinking you meant that when you gave Lise suggestions, Lise then privately consulted Ami about it and Lise decided not to take your suggestions?  Correct?  If so, it still seems like a covert humourous "dig" at both Lise and Ami.  maybe?  AND, I can't speak for my friend, Bean, but I'll let her handle her response from here if she so chooses.

Please though, I know you are a funny person, Lighter, it's just maybe not a good thing to poke fun at individuals or what they do? ya think?

~Laura
Title: Re: Amends
Post by: Gabben on December 14, 2007, 11:54:26 AM
Hi Ami -- I ate a banana for breakfast. Normally, I don't eat bananas, could it have been the power of suggestion?

Lise