Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: gratitude28 on December 15, 2007, 06:18:33 PM
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I was thinking today, have you ever noticed that we are all from the same general socio-economic background? Some of us have gone through poverty while we get back on our feet, but we are mostly in a comfortable situation. Almost all of us have quite a bit of education.
I wonder what this means? Do people from other backgrounds not seek help? Does the working class (as in working just to get by) maybe not have time for reflection? What does the extreme upper class (the very wealthy) do? I am also guessing that very few of us are what used to be referred to as "minorities." We are primarily white, a few Hispanic. Again, what does this mean????
Any thoughts?
Love, Beth
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Beth,
Interesting thought. I'm thinking...
tt
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Beth,
Perhaps it might be that 'poor' people can't afford computers/internet access, and the time to sit at computers to post to a forum like this? And richer people than us can afford very expensive therapists, so they don't feel the need to contribute to a forum like this and 'work it out for themmselves'? As to 'minorities' - not sure what you mean by that, but if it's people whose first language isn't English, then this kind of site might seem intimidating to communicate on, if it's not your first language? Interesting subject, though.
Janet
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Judging from what is posted,I don't see any major differentiation betwen this board and society in general as far as class is concerned. What is most apparent is that it is almost all female. After that I think that it is the age that is most homogeneous. This is not a site that most young people in their 20's would spend a great deal of time with. Young people listen to music,discuss politics, meet one another, help each other with common concerns such as school and dating, talk about celebrities, their dreams for the future, and do creative writing and such. Here there are lots of 40s and 50s folks who speak the same middle-aged language of a none-too-glamorous familial life experience. Also mostly persons professing Christianity in its many forms seem to predominate. Also a support site for a specific brand of affliction -"Ns"- There are cancer sites, etc as well so many would go to other sites for their primary concerns. This is not a general discussion site- Not a site that most people who discuss philosophy or business, etc would frequent. One big reason that there are so few men here.
As far as class, and that divide is drawn by more than paycheck size, it seems like generally lower middle class to almost middle middle class or working class represented here to me- haven't noticed any major representations of upper- middle- class, inherited wealth or truly wealthy here- long less any elites of any sort. A milleu you might see at a local church, not St. Patrick's Cathedral. No dynastic families, maybe some will inherit when the patriarch dies, but no trust funds, etc. from grandpa with a key to the Breakers. Some professionals, lower level mostly- no big foundations that they control, usually.Might have a either house or apartment or live with relatives. Students. Divorcees.Wage slaves of one stripe or another. Self-employed. Workers in small business or a bureaucracy of some sort, some stay at home wives and mothers. Some rural people, but no huge landowners that I have noticed. Many people who are trying to build a life. No captains of industry or big shots, except in their own very tiny tiny ponds or minds. Pretty much mainstream society.
As far as education goes, most have an average education like I do- a B.A. or B.S. There are some PhDs, MSs, etc. as in the general population.
I don't know about ethnicity or race- I don't understand how that would be a factor that could be gleaned from posts???? Typed words look exactly the same, no matter what paint job the face of the person has. I don't see ethnicity or race mentioned often here.....
Most everyone is on the internet- this is not the only or most "happening" site. Young people like Facebook and such. Many people enjoy conversing with people who follow their own interests. I came here as a result of typing on the search page in extremis. I am sure that there are other sites on this subject, perhaps more extensive ones that attract a more well heeled crowd, as well as a younger one. In my experience it is the middle-aged mostly who see the internet, texting, and cell phones as new or special.
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No one on the board has ever asked me any of the following questions:
> race ?
> ethnicity ?
> age ?
> value of property ?
> wealth of parents ?
> balance on account at bank ?
> balance at bank in savings ?
> value of stocks, shares and bonds ?
> social status or class ?
> company directorship ?
> business ownership ?
In any case, the information is strictly private and confidential (especially out in a public domain) with all due care and consideration.
PS> So therefore, I would be excluded from any statistical viewpoint.
PPS > Identity theft is a worldwide endemic issue.
Consequently, my firm boundary regarding personal details and disclosure is set as strictly private and confidential on any public domain forum.
> My faith belief is clearly evident as displayed with openness on the forum as my profile includes details displayed for all to * see *
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Dear Leah-
I agree, and from what has been revealed on posts here, we appear to be a pretty average group, in the best sense of the word. Again, except for being almost all female.
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Dear Changing,
That's what I thought, how would anyone know anything? And I agree.
Love, Leah
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Wow! Another chance for me to self-disclose...you see, I have very few secrets and I enjoy being open with most people (sometimes I think I'd LOVE to live in a close-knit commune) , so to me, a teacher-at-heart, when I see lists, I love to contribute from my own standpoint...so, here goes:
> race ? I am a caucasian. Italian- romantic, Irish- feisty temper (and possibly Jewish as well though not sure on that)
> ethnicity ? Is this the same as race?
> age ? 41 yrs young
> value of property ? $60,000 (just a guess)
> wealth of parents ? I grew up with a dad who was an insurance agent and a mom who upholstered furniture
> balance on account at bank ? Probably about at $50 checking
> balance at bank in savings ? I don't have a savings account
> value of stocks, shares and bonds ? lol, I wish!
> social status or class ? I'd say at about poverty level or just slightly above at this point.
> company directorship ? Own no companies
> business ownership ? Husband is self-employed...does that count?
That was fun...could I please have another list to work on :)
~Laura
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((((((((((Laura)))))))))))) again. You are sweet.
Leah and Changing, I have never asked these questions, but from time to time we discuss them here. Also, a long time ago, we swapped pictures and so I did know what a lot of the group looked like.
I can tell when someone speaks the Queen's English or is from Australia and speaks a version of it (certain words). Cadence in speech also indicates a non-native American (or English) tongue, and we have seen little of this.
Janet, I agree that resources are no doubt limited for the poverty level, as well as time to speculate on one's life. Yes, Changing, perhaps the super wealthy have therapists, or have to stuff it so as not to create a bad image (this is kind of what I was wondering about).
Men, I think, rarely deal with issues if they can compartmentalize them. I have seen this in my husband. He accepts, and goes on. We ruminate.
I don't believe in the concept of race, I prefer, as Laura pointed out, ethnicity.
My MIL is Mexican and comes from a large ranching family. She had a very mean mother who favored one giirl, saw the boys as useful, and the other girls as lesser beings. I have just found this out in the past year or so. At an older age, and with more leisure time, my MIL is exploring the idea of how to live life on its terms and forgive those in her life. I am wondering, though, if it affected her and her siblings never to have dealt with the issues before. I also wonder if in certain ethnic groups, because of the size of family (very extended), if another person steps in as a mother figure (or father figure) in the case of there being an N in the family. Can the child latch on to another adult and find self-esteem?
Just some thoughts. It just struck me and I had never thought of it before.
Love, Beth
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::hugging Laura::
I see you Laura..... you're imporartant bc you're a mama and a contributor, you care and you really need to work on those boundaries, my dear; )
I wish you'd start a new thread..... something that really engages your imagination and deep desire to be invloved and help others.
Maybe a thread on how we could touch the lives of children in their early pre school and K, First grade years and help them learn some important tools..... gift them information so they can navigate dysfunctional homes better, somehow.... something that REALLY makes a difference.
How can we recognize and provide that special connection children need in school to overcome dysfunctional homes.
Please give that some deep consideration and start a new thread about it, Laura.
I bet you'd have some very good ideas to share.
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Lighter: you really need to work on those boundaries, my dear; )
Although I'm not disputing that I have some work to do, what boundaries were you referring to?
I have no interest in starting a thread about preschoolers. My age group is 9-11 in children. Babies drive me bonkers.
~Laura
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I think that the level of intelligence and insight is "mind blowing" on the board. I think that you can find people who resonate with you. There are people who heap you and people whom you can help. Mostly, what strikes me is the level of intelligence and insight . Ami
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I haven't really noticed any similarities other than most of the posters are female. I think there are a number of backgrounds here. I'll answer a few of the questions . . .
> race ? caucasian
> ethnicity ? Scotch, Irish, Native American
> age ? 33
> value of property ? I own no property.
> wealth of parents ? not much . . .
> balance on account at bank ?
> balance at bank in savings ?
> value of stocks, shares and bonds ?
> social status or class ? middle class
> company directorship ?
> business ownership ? I just closed the internet business I was running on the side.
To add to the list, I have a BA in English, have never been married, never had a serious relationship, and I'm afraid to have a relationship. I have one child, who's 10. I'm a published writer, and I"m currently working on starting a freelance career.
I won't share any financial information in a public forum. I'll share my financial plan for next year if anyone is interested.
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Just a comment. The mother of my son's girlfriend has moeny, property, she is generous and has zero education. She is accountant. But has no knowledge. She asked me why I did not try to earn the love of my mother. That is total ignorance. her daughter's favorite activity is going to the mall. They both watch soup operas. never read a book.
My point is, that to come to this website you have to have some insight, functioning brain, or disfunctioning brain but your brain is doing something.
Most of people in the world are just sleep walking through life, like my mom or like me some months ago.
You have to have some philosophy and even if you like to go to the mall you also enjoy good books like the ones we always talk about here.
So, it takes a very special kind of person to enjoy coming to these kind of places. Mostly lonely people in need fo affirmation, validation or just human contact.
Also the people in church are mostly women, in almost all the churches.
More women are born everyday than men. On top, more men die than women.
Interesting topic Grat. Thank you.
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Lupita,
Something ocurred to me as I read your post - aren't N's (an N mother, in my case) more threatened by people who are more...anything than them? So, someone who is intelligent is going to be seen as a target by an N, so, I think that more N-survivors who come on here are likely to be intelligent, than in the general population.
So, if nothing else, at least we should agree that most of us here are intelligent people!!
Janet
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Speaking for myself, i don't come to the Vboard because i'm lonely generally. i know how to occupy my time with music, teaching tapes, phone calls, friends, a walk down the road, if need be.
I come here because I enjoy intellectual chat and sharing with people of all types. It's very stimulating to me and it also affords a place for me to be heard along with the others.
~Laura
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Dear Janet, that was what I was trying to imply. I guess I did not do a good job at it. Sorry.
About the women thing was just another comment. Just statistics.
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Lupita,
You did a very good job at it!
I was just rambling...
The statistics thing is interesting, too. Wonder why women seek out churches more than men? Although, have to say, in the church I go to, there are 70% men to 30% women, which I know is very unusual.
Janet
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Exactly what you said, that it takes a very special person to be here. Intelligent, yes!!!!!!
Sorry for the language barrier.
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Janet!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I move up there???????????? I can clean your house!!!!!
Just kidding.
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Lupita,
You haven't seen the men in my church... :D :D :D
Janet
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Hi Janet,
Enjoying the light banter between you and Lupita.
Taking this moment to wish you, your H and the owls a Happy Christmas.
cats paw
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Cats Paw,
Thank you!
Christmas wossnames to you too!
Janet
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Are those who would need tones of viagra to be able to .............. :twisted:
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Lupita,
Are you saying you think the 'available' men who go to my church might be...a little....elderly, perhaps?!
Janet
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If that wa inappropriate I apologize. I was just trying to put a smile on you. if you want me to erarse it I will. I mean the viagra joke.
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Yes, when you said that I have not seen them I thought you were meaning they are elderly people. No offense, just trying to joke a little. Perhaps my sense of humor was not appropriate.
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Lupita,
NO! I just wondered if you've got X-ray eyes, to be able to see into my church from where you live. Actually, none of them are a day over 85 (or a day younger than 75, unfortunately). But they're very sweet people - just not very young!! :D
Janet
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I can tell when someone speaks the Queen's English or is from Australia and speaks a version of it (certain words). Cadence in speech also indicates a non-native American (or English) tongue, and we have seen little of this.
Love, Beth
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Beth you are so smart :)
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Lupita,
You don't have to apologize to us. I thought your joke was funny. I used to apologize for everything, and I think it is one of the things that may make you appear weaker to other people. Don't apologize!!!!!!!!!!!! You are smart. You are funny!!!!!!
towrite,
You are too sweet :)
Hi Janet and Cat! Happy and Merry Holiday wishes.
Love, Beth
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Happy Christmas to you, Beth, and Lupita, towrite, and anyone else I've missed.
(A few old men going spare, if anyone wants one...? :D)
Janet
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Beth,
Same to you! Give Henry a Christmas hug for me, too.
Cat