Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Whistler on January 05, 2008, 08:18:50 PM
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Ok, I am new to this but I could be wrong but it sounds like I'zzy' is thinking I am possibly a "liar and a troll" I could be wrong.
I thought the discussion on trolls was a bit extensive, but...
I apologize for not responding to you and thanking all of you- I do appreciate it.
So, let's have it- what's the consensus on who I am and what my experiences have been? What do you need to know to feel comfortable with my staying part of this forum?
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Hi Whistler-
I may be too dense to understand properly, but I think that everyone is trying to support you in your quest to do the right in the midst of a tough situation. We cannot provide legal advice (oh I wish I could get some as well!) but can give you support and the benefit of experience. Part of that support is providing a safe space to post as well as cogent information- that is why sometimes one is prodded to consider information provided that may have been overlooked, etc., and to provide more to go on.
This has helped me in the past, and it may well help you also. Hope things go well.
Best,
Changing
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My Goodness, Whistler. You don't seem like a troll ,at all. A troll causes problems between people. You have come with a problem and a heart cry.Please don't worry about feeling like people think you are a troll, Whistler. You have enough on your plate. I am glad that you brought your fears to light, though.
I vote that you are NO troll(lol) Ami
Just use the board for healing. You are in a crisis, now and need support.
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Hi, Whistler,
You bear no resemblance to a troll, in my opinion. I just haven't been posting to you because I have nothing to offer...
except well wishes, which I regret I haven't offered lately, so... I wish you well!! And I hope you'll continue to post whatever is on your heart and mind, as I'm sure there will be some good responses to your needs.
Regards,
Carolyn
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Thanks for all of your responses, and I'm sorry if I am a bit over-reactive. I have read all of your responses as well as all of the other posts- I understand that this is a mutual support group- I do want to try to be helpful to all of you as well.
Thanks again.
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Dear Whistler,
You seem very genuine to me( gut feeling). Don't worry about giving back,right now. Just TAKE people's love and support . You need all you can get as your world falls apart around you, friend. Ami
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I'm sorry Whistler.... but I am glad you came back. I was afraid you left and that was that.
It's unclear to me when all this affair stuff started, when you moved out, when you filed and when she/wife started video taping you.
I can't make sense of the timeline and, if I had any quesitons about you at all.... those were them.
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Ok, I am new to this but I could be wrong but it sounds like I'zzy' is thinking I am possibly a "liar and a troll" I could be wrong.
I thought the discussion on trolls was a bit extensive, but...
I apologize for not responding to you and thanking all of you- I do appreciate it.
So, let's have it- what's the consensus on who I am and what my experiences have been? What do you need to know to feel comfortable with my staying part of this forum?
Hello Mr. Whistler,
I owe you an explanation about my temporary insanity and outrageous paranoia.
The board has been undergoing some "request for truths" posts here and there and I began to wonder about all new posters, as we have had a bucket load. I'm sure Lupita felt the same, as I was drawn by her posts to add mine.
It's bad enough to have met and N and be bullied and conned into the humiliation of trusting someone not worthy of my trust, but to have it happen here where I (and I am too trusting, in spite--so bound to make another mistake) have been trusting that everyone is telling their truths to the rest of us.
In spite of trusting that everyone is, I see discrepancies and wonder and back off a bit.
My sincere apologies that you are not a troll.
(Some people post in weird ways--)
My sincere apologies for inferring that you might be a troll.
(and some people straighten out the mess.)
I often feel that nobody here understands me, so I come here where I understand no one.
Sincerely
Izzy
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i hereby volunteer for the TROLL OF THE YEAR award...oooo pick me pick me.
I think i've unintentially become one, whatever it is.
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Reallyme-
I think that you are an ordinary person like everyone else on this board, no troll, don't worry... just lay off the psychotherapy until you get the credentials!
Love,
Changing
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I call it like I see it.
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Reallyme-
Calling it like you see it is one of your many good traits. And as I see it, there is no major significancant groundswell afoot to term you an anything of the year, troll or whatever. But we are cheering for you to have the best year ever.
Love,
Changing
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Reallyme-
calling it like you see it is one of your many good traits. And as I see it, there is no major significancant groundswell afoot to term you an anything of the year, troll or whatever. But we are cheering for you to have the best year ever.
Love,
Changing
No swelling ground here.
I like ordinary people!
Love,
Carolyn
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Changing, thanks...um, I think? :?
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Reallyme-
You're welcome.
Love,
Changing
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Whistler,
I join the others in saying, It has never crossed my mind that you are a troll, or a liar for that matter.
In reading my thread, Trolls vs Imposters, remember it is a what if discussion.
tt
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Thanks for the info on passive/ assertive/ aggressive behavior.
For ten years I was passive in my family situation.
It sounds like there are many women on this message board.
There is a book called Malignant Self- Love by Sam Vankin. It teaches women how to manipilate their way out of abusive relationships- how to get rid of a man that you don't want to be married to anymore. And it works on nice men who you want to dump too, because it creates severe mental disturbance to the point where someone who is normal acts out trying to re-establish reality.
When I was 6 years old I was walking my 5 year old sister and her friend home from kindergarten. Her friend wanted to kiss me, I said no so she walked off angry.
When my sister and I were home for a while, the friends mother came over with her daughter- who was all bruised up- the girl had said I beat her up on the way home from school. I was severely punished- even though I stated over and over I didnt do anything to her she walked off by herself.
Later, the girl admitted I did nothing- she was playing at a nearby construction site and fell in a ditch. But she was mad at me for not kissing her.
One woman here said "Don't trust any men." There are kind PEOPLE and mean PEOPLE.
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Whistler-
I think I understand what you are getting at, though I have not read the book that you mentioned. My husband used to beat me severely and threaten to kill me daily, and said that if I told the police he would lie and say that I hit him as well- it is really crazy-making and I had a difficult time getting away from him- this Board saved my life. The thing that works for me now is to make him stay away, and inform others when he comes around my home, etc illegally. He is lost when he has to submit evidence or face the rules of law in court.
You might try No Contact with your wife (though you may have custody and visitation issues- is the child yours as well?) It has been such a wonderful thing for me!!! Hope things continue to get better.
Best,
Changing
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I am sorry, Whistler .I am so sorry ,Changing. What pain you have ,both,endured. Ami
(((((((((((Whistler, Changing)))))))))))))
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Thank You Ami-
You have been, and remain a rock for me and your kind and generous nature is amazing. You are also a great guide, as you have made your way , step by step, through the maze of feelings and situations in your life!!! You are one of those who pulled me out of the pit, and I shall never forget it, or be able to repay your help!!!
Love and Thanks,
Chnaging
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Thanks for all of your replies- and I'm sorry for any person who has suffered abuse- especially women becaiuse men are stronnger physically. What a horrible thing "Changing" to be beaten daily.
I could never lay a finger on my wife- she knew that. I think some of you have seen violence that I have no experience of- and I need to keep that in mind.
It's been a long day here- good night
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Hi Whistler-
I constructed my sentence awkwardly- I was threatened daily by my husband, but not beaten daily. Sorry for the misleading sentence.
I hope that all of us who care about this issue can unite and make security and justice a priority. In that way we can create a society and a world where no one has to suffer abuse.
Good night and take care.
Best,
Changing
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Yes, Changing, I want you to know that if I had been around while those daily beatings were being done, I would have been the one who reported it to the authorities and probably went head to head with the abuser!
Am I a fixer? a rescuer? admittedly so, but only because one of the worst things, and the main thing that is done which keeps the abuse going on, is for a "good man to sit by and do nothing." I'm not a sitter, a bystander, a do-nothinger.
My Nh's mother stayed with her abusive, molesting husband, during all the years of abuse and molestation. It has caused a real issue with me and with her daughters...the fact that she stayed even while KNOWING the children were being harmed.
~Laura
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Whistler, it never crossed my mind that you were a troll. I just thought that you came back with a new question, in a new thread with out responding to so many answers that you had from differen persons in several of your threads.
I just wanted to point that you had very good advises and perhaps you had not read them. There was no way I knew you read since you did not answer to any single of them.
I am glad that you came back and posted again.
What people usually do is that when somebody responds to you, you answer back, and tell your opinion of what the person told you. Not just keep goign as if nobody told you anything.
That way we know if our ideas are helping or not.
I think that I had to point that out.
I never thought you were a troll. But you never read our answers or you did not care for our answers. That is all.
It is very nice that you came back and made everything clear for you.
I do not know if my ideas serve you for anything, so the only thing I can do is keep praying for you, wich I will do every day.
God bless you. Glad you came back.
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Whistler,
When I first came to this board, I was like you, only looking for answers to my concerns. It is very real and a need that overtakes you while you are in the middle of chaos. Only recently have I started to venture in to offer my opinions or humble advice, alot of people on this board have been here for quite sometime and are well through some of the garbage you are now experiencing. The one thing I started to realize about myself was, the more I posted on MY problems only, the more I felt like an N. It helps to become involved with others, maybe helps to realize things aren't as bad as you think. Just my own humble opinion.
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Thanks to all for your replies- Lupita, I did read all of your replied and did care about therm.
I will, again, reach out to others more.