Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: lighter on January 13, 2008, 10:55:53 AM
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Hope you're coping OK..... (((kittypaw)))
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lighter,
Please have the tribe tend to a constant low-burning fire until mid-May, and then on that special evening, it will burn no more, and
we will have a ceremony. It will include flowers.
Thanks for asking about me- I'm coping ok.
cats paw
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::gathering smooth stones in a circle, for catspaw's fire::
Tending it till mid May..... when it will burn no more.
(((catspaw))) The tribes here, waiting for you.
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The reason I chose mid May is because of my mom's birthday. She would have been 71.
I loved her even though she was broken.
cats paw
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I can relate, Cat...I will celebrate your Mom's existence with you in May...
I feel the same way.
Seeing my ollllllllld 97 y/o Mom slumped, with one side paralysed, is tough.
A few days ago she was happily stumping around a bookstore.
xo
Hops
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Dear KittyFoot,
I will remember in May, too... and hope to be with you then to remember together. And I want to learn to (or remember how to) love despite the broken-ness...
Love,
Carolyn
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cats paw
May is beautiful.
Thinking of you.......((seasons))
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bean,
I much later learned of the common meaning of the term catspaw, but even then, I found it to be appropriate in some ways. I
the recent past, I learned of the tale of the monkey duping the cat into pulling chesnuts out of the fire.
At a later time, I would very much like to detail my chosen name. The main aspect is a literal cat's paw, the second is a carpenter's
tool, and the third- if I recall - is a small breeze.
The tribe, and Amazons, refers to some ways of speaking that lighter started quite some time ago. Other board members have
joined in at times to use this enjoyable imagery. If I recall, lighter and changing also engaged in an amusing bard-like discourse at
one point.
I'm glad you asked, bean. As far as the common meaning, I was always trying to pull my mom out of the fire, but I know that
when I was born, she did not intentionally set out to have me scoop nuts out of the fire just so my paw would get burned.
The constant low-burning fire has nothing to do with the tale of the monkey and the cat, however.
lighter, Carolyn, Hops, seasons- thank you. All are welcome at mid May.
Again, bean- I'm glad you asked- and I hope to speak with you again on the board.
Oh- and congratulations on your engagement ! I've been meaning to add that to things I want to say as I try to remember the
recent life events of some of the board members.
cats paw
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Gentle thoughts of you ((( Cats Paw )))
Love, leah
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Dear ((((((Kittyfoot))))))) I feel such reassurance when reading you... thank you.
Love,
Carolyn
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Hello Leah and Carolyn,
I think now is the time to share this.
My mother was a different woman the last three days of her life. She had prayed for salvation, and also received the Anointing of
the Sick and Communion.
There was cooperation at her funeral, as there was both a Protestant minister and a Catholic priest. Imagine that!
I still will eventually like to talk about her last few days, but it's still too emotional for me to write coherently about.
cats paw
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Dear one,
I am amazed and so very thankful to know this. Thank you for sharing that there was a new birth... and a new beginning, not an end. Take all the time necessary and you will find listening ears here.
So much love to you,
Carolyn
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Dear ((( Cats Paw )))
Gentle soft tears of joy, fill my eyes and my heart, as you share, of your mother's new life, her new beginning.
Also, of which gives me real hope, for my own mother, of whom, recently, sincere compassion thoughts have filled my heart.
Grateful for you sharing.
My listening heart will await your further time of sharing, as you feel led to do so.
Much love,
Leah
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Cat,
All you need room for now is love and sorrow, sorrow and love...
xo
Hops
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bean,
I am sorry that I mispoke, I thought I remembered you writing something a while back about your boyfriend getting you a ring.
I am sorry that I did not go back to find your original post before I wrote what I did, and that I was carelessness and did not check
the facts before uttering those ignorant words.
What I have admired in you has been your rational way of posting during certain conflicts.
The low-burning fire refers only to my mom, and I thought the 2nd post I made about it, and the fact that her birthday is in mid
May, was self-explanatory.
During a conflict a long time ago, I spoke up about how I felt when I read a poster's writing. That was my first and last attempt
at entering into any board conflict. I admired both your statements and Mud's about conflict during one of the last go-rounds-
something about not being able to solve insoluble problems?
After said first and only conflict that I posted about, I also said that what I was so thankful for was that no one at all on the board
had ever tried to dissuade me from talking to anyone else. I also said I eventually wanted to be able to talk to everyone on the
board. You were one of those people that I had in mind, as well as Sela.
I do not know at whose expense or what possible joke a symbolic memorial could be, but I know you must have your reasons, as
you have basically stated.
I will respect your wishes, bean, and will not try to exchange thoughts with you by addressing you in the future. I feel that in
many ways, it is my loss, and my doing because I was so slow in the past to post to you except for a heartfelt comment about
understanding ambivalence.
I will still read what you write, and I wish you well.
cats paw
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I think it has more to do with the feeling I get that you and lighter go round in circles here on the board, without saying a whole lot. Also, the constant need you have of getting others' attention it seems. I get an uneasy feeling about the whole idea of playing with people's emotions here. I've seen it done as I've been here long enough. I don't participate and I don't condone it.
It hurts people when others make jokes at their expense. That's what I feel is inappropriate.
peace
bean
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besee,
Thank you, and I very much hear and appreciate what you're saying.
hugs to you, too
cats paw
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Hello All -
I need to return to this thread. The time is passing quickly, and as I stated my mom's birthday is in May.
Thanks to the people who were so supportive on this and other threads.
Besee- that is a really good way of putting it about your mom's energy being so different. So was my mom's.
She also said she saw my stepdad two days before she died, and she was not given to that type of experience. Perhaps it was
only brain chemicals as they say, but perhaps not. It was a wonderful thought, no matter what the origin.
Will write again soon regarding the mid May memorial.
cats paw
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I don't know why this is so hard to get out all at once.
My mom's last words were - It's so beautiful.
cp
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(((((((((Dear Cats Paw))))))))
It is hard; so many emotions at once.
My father was in a coma for 24+ hours before he died. The moment before he died, he came out of the coma, looked at each of us, and then beyond us, as though someone was there. The most peaceful look came across his face and he started to lift his head and shoulders off the bed as though he had somewhere to go; within moments he was gone. It was a beautiful moment. I forgot that moment in the midst of everything else that had gone on those last few months. Thank you for reminding me.
As we discussed via PM (to everyone here - I wanted to make sure Cats Paw was ok with this before I posted it), I have an image of a fire that we can use. I would be honored to stand vigil with you until that one special evening when the fire will burn no more. And thank you for allowing me to share in the imagery for my father; symbolism, imagery, and metaphors have been very powerful tools that have helped me to reframe the past.
I will start a new thread tomorrow.
Peace