Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on January 13, 2008, 10:52:48 PM
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1/11 Dear Izzy,
My healing on the board (moaning posts, pain, blood and gore-lol )has taught me that you did the BEST you could with your D. You loved her the best way that you could and you STILL do.My M did the same.
1/11 Hello Ami
NOT 'the best I could', I loved my daughter. I see you are comparing me to your mother, and perhaps have totally misunderstood the tack that I have taken here with memories of my thoughts of fear.
I am not torturing myself. I am on a search for understanding a possibility.
1/11 Please spare the criticism(Izzy???) b/c I have a genuine mental block. Intrusivness
1/13 I am only bringing my M up(Izzy????lol) b/c I am explaining the that the brainwashing is very strong.
Izzy
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I think that you can be critical, Izzy--- maybe unknowingly, probably unknowingly. Ami
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I think that you can be critical, Izzy--- maybe unknowingly, probably unknowingly. Ami
Hi Izzy,
Throughtout my short time on the board I have seen you following Ami's posts with passive aggressive critical comments.
However, perhaps Izzy, you have a lot to be angry about, many hurts and injustices to you in your lifetime, nothing wrong with your anger...nothing...it is how we use it and I for one cannot preach. I have been overly critical of others and passive in many way and for long periods in my own life. I was in heavy denial of my anger issues. I still have anger and I still get my buttons pushed. You will never know how many times I want to post something to someone here on the board that is passive or hurtful because in the past they slighted me an hurt me in some way passively. However, I do my best to refrain and I process the anger out and embrace whatever healing needs to come about. Also, I have felt shame dumped on me here and it hurts too. But I am working to never retaliate and never to act in revenge or with a blind desire to hurt someone.
Hope this helps Izzy - I know that Ami is not a hurtful person. I don't think that you are either.
So I sympathize with you, if you get in touch with old hurts and anger, I'll be here to chat.
((((IZZY)))) (((AMI))))
Lise
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Hello Ami
All well and good. Just please leave my name out of your posts relative to your Nmother and her sarcasm.
and Gabben
I see you were new on Jan 8 and you see me following Ami's posts? Hmmmmmmm !! A strange occupation but what you had to say here is suitable for all-- our moods, our fears, our hurts, our anger.
I just put the past to rest this morning.
Strange that my sister, 2000 miles away, would send an email tonight that included:
I think that something clicks in us as we travel on our spiritual journey and every once in awhile we realize that we have turned a corner and things are getting better. [I have no idea why I wrote that. It just came off my fingertips, but I will leave it in, anyway.]
Now that is awesome!
By the way, gabben, who did you used to be on this board?
thank you both
xx
Izzy
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I think Gabben was Gabben. she must have deleted herself and then came back. One thing I remember about Lise is she definitely watches Am's back. It is nice to have someone like that from time to time.
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Gabben started as Gabben angel. One night when I was very distressed , it seemed like an angel showed up. It was Lise.
When I say that God sends angels, it did actually cross my mind that she was an actual angel.(lol) Stranger things have happenend.
She and I have become dear friends.
I still think God sent her, though,even though she is "real"(lol) . Love Ami